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Post by Bad Beth on Jan 30, 2014 23:37:41 GMT
Chapter 31
Everyone went to bed and Kelly and Matthew were forced into the basement so everyone else could sleep. I was still upset what happened tonight. I refused to talk to Dad, Matthew, and Kelly. Matthew was all showered up because his hair was wet and he wouldn’t let Mom brush it or Dad. Mom just let him go with messy hair but Dad wouldn’t allow it so he grabbed him and got on top of him and brushed his hair. Matthew screamed and cried. Some people rushed in the basement. One of them was Uncle Nate and Aunt Elizabeth and I heard Grandma’s voice. “Matthew is just getting his hair brushed,” said Nate. For some reason I was enjoying the torture Matthew was getting. Serves him right for taking the TV. Mom was already in her pajama. It was just a long shirt and loose pants. She also lounges in them and goes out in public in them too. They weren’t real pajamas, she just sleeps in them. I did some fake laughing at Matthew. “Stop it,” Mom told me. I walked over to them and watched Matthew getting tortured. Then Dad was finished. “See Matthew it wasn’t that bad,” said Dad. Matthew got up and complained his head hurt. “It will get better,” said Dad. I took my Game Boy and games and went upstairs with them. I sat down in the living room and played my new game. It was one of those games you play from the air like you do in Zelda. Dad let me stay upstairs just as long as I made no noise. I was already in my pajamas too. It was just a night shirt and I was curled up under it. I wet my diaper again and I felt it going to the back. I paused the game and rubbed the outside of it where it was wet. I felt a tingling feeling inside of me. I kept rubbing it and I didn’t know how many times I had wet it. I kept massaging it and then I heard, “Someone is enjoying themself.” I jumped and I saw Aunt Elizabeth. “That should be done in private sweetheart,” she said. She went in the kitchen. “It’s normal for teens to pleasure themselves down there,” she said as she got a glass of water. “But they know to do that in private. Not in the living room. Also it’s not proper to have your underwear showing so you shouldn’t have yours showing.” She went back to the bedroom she was sleeping in with her cup in her hand. I was so embarrassed she caught me and saw my diaper and called it my underwear. I couldn’t play my two other games because they were not for Game Boy. I kept trying to figure out how to get through the road block so I could get to the temple. This was reminding me of Zelda but they used James Bond. I couldn’t find the hammer and I looked every building. I found a kit but it disappeared at the bottom of the screen. I couldn’t figure out what to do. I wandered round the boardwalk until I figured it out. I pressed buttons and I was in the menu screen. It was a lot like Zelda. I selected the hammer and went back to the guy and he didn’t do anything. I just left and walked around trying to figure out what to do. I pooped in my diaper again and I didn’t change even though I was supposed to. I wasn’t sure if I could shower this late at night. I felt the mess spread around in the back and I did hear it hit the seat of my diaper and it expanding. It took a few minutes for me to get done. I couldn’t help but spread the mess around using my hand to rub the outside of my diaper and changing sitting positions and feeling it spread on my buttock and going up my diaper. I could smell it too under my night shirt. I peed again and stayed seated. I knew if I went to the basement and everyone was still up, they would want me to change and I might lose my game privileges or TV and I didn’t want to clean up this big mess. I would just pretend it happened in my sleep and if anyone came upstairs, I would pretend it just happened. It felt like it as yesterday I had messed myself but I knew I hadn’t done it all day yesterday because it was passed midnight but it still felt like today than the next day. I went back to the spot and saw the blockade was gone. I went up north and I was in another area, on land this time. I walked on the brick pavement. I looked in the building and then left and went up north again to the temple to be blocked by a guard from going inside. I had to fight him and he felt into the water leaving me some box. I picked it up and went inside. I walked around and it reminded me a lot like the dungeons on Zelda. I figured out the dungeon and I had to fight a woman and I died so I had to play the level again. After dying two times, I figured out I should use my health so when I got low on it, I used it and I was at full health again and I finally defeated the woman. She died and disappeared and I went through the door and left the dungeon and came out on the other side. I fought more bad guys and finished the level leaving on a boat. Then I was in London. I was at MI6 and I talked to Moneypenny and M. M looked like a guy in this game. I couldn’t even leave unless I talked to Q first so I had to look for him and I did it by talking to each person to find him because I didn’t know which was him. I even pushed a button on the chair and the guy flew into the wall leaving an opening. I went in there and picked up a ball and left the secret room. I found Q this time and talked to him and headed back but Moneypenny said I needed to talk to him. What? I already did. I went back and talked to him again and he handed me something and I headed back but Moneypenny said again I had to go talk to him. I went back to Q and talked to him again. He gave me another item and it was some keychain this time. I went back to Moneypenny’s office and left and she didn’t stop me this time and I was done with the level. That was a short level and no dungeons and bad guys. I was getting tired so I played for a few more minutes and paused the game and did save and quit. I turned my Game Boy off and set it on the table with the other games. I had a messy diaper to worry about and I didn’t know what to do. Mom always cleaned me up and now I do it myself and it was late at night and I was unsure if I could shower. Maybe if I went downstairs and pretended it just happened, maybe Mom will clean me up or let me shower. I was about to go downstairs when the door opened to one of the bedrooms. It was Grandma and Uncle John. They were heading to the bathroom. “Oh Natalie, you’re still up, it’s almost one in the morning,” said Grandpa. “I am going to bed now,” I said. “Don’t forget to turn off the light.” I turned the lamp off and headed to the basement while Grandpa took Uncle John into the bathroom. I went downstairs and everyone was a sleep. I coughed hoping to get attention. No one woke up. There I was standing in my soiled diapers. I decided I would just go to sleep like this and I would pretend it happened in my sleep. I turned the light on to see where I was sleeping. Matthew was on the couch, Mom and Dad were on the same air mattress and Kelly was on the air mattress too. I knew I would be sleeping with Kelly because my spot was open on the double air mattress she was sleeping on. I grabbed Po and my baby blanket and turned the light off and crawled into bed. It didn’t take me long to all asleep in my mess. * * *
It was a big mistake I decided to sleep in my mess. I woke up and my diaper had leaked on the sides out the back at the bottom of my butt because of the poop. The whole front of my diaper was wet too where I slept on my front. I always sleep on my back. I was very wet and messy and very smelly. Everyone else was already up but Matthew was still sleeping. I got up and grabbed one of my clean diapers and wipes and rash cream. Wait, I didn’t need wipes. I left them down here and went upstairs. Everyone was up and the grownups were talking. I saw Skippy’s dish on the kitchen floor but I didn’t see him anywhere or Mom. My relatives saw me. “Morning Natalie,” said Dad. No one said anything about the diaper in my hand. “I have some food for you,” said Uncle Nate. “We have cereal you can have, eggs, toast, milk, juice, fresh fruit.” I went in the bathroom and took off my pajamas and my diapers. I took off my bra and socks too. I had mess all over my butt and public area. The back of my diaper was filled with it too and in the middle and it was all yellow in the front. The whole diaper looked gross after I took it off. I put it in the wastebasket and washed my whole bottom. After I was done, I got out and dried off and put the clean diaper on. I put my pajamas on and left the bathroom with the wastebasket. My cousin Ashley was already here. But I didn’t see her family anywhere. Ashley said hi to me and she came over to me and gave me a hug but I pulled away. I was in no mood for hugging. “You’re ignoring me?” she said. “You don’t want a hug from your cousin?” “She just got up,” said Dad. I put my shoes on and went outside to throw my diapers away. Dad called after me to put my coat on but I said back to him I was just throwing my diaper away and I won’t get sick from being out here for a few seconds. I dumped the trash in the trash can and put the lid on top. Since I was throwing out my diaper, I will mind as well dump the trash. I went back inside and took my shoes off and put the wastebasket back in the bathroom. “We have breakfast here for you,” said Gladys when I came out but I wasn’t hungry so I told her that. I know breakfast is the most important meal of the day because it boosts your metabolism and so you won’t overeat during the day because you had skipped a meal. I decided on some cantaloupe I saw on a plate. At least I have had something then. “Who’s melon is that?” I asked. “Anyone’s,” said Uncle Tom and Nate. I grabbed a few pieces and ate them. I grabbed more and ate. I threw the crust away and played more of James Bond on my Game Boy. Kelly was watching TV. “Where’s Uncle Robert and everyone else?” I asked Ashley. “They’re not here yet. I just go to school here and I walked here,” she replied. “The University of Montana?” I asked. “Yes, it’s just a few blocks over.” Ashley goes to college and the school isn’t far from where Uncle Nate and Aunt Gladys live. This was the cousin who once tattled on me for peeing in my playhouse and Mom spanked me and sent me to my room and who once woke up at night and caught me masturbating in bed and she asked me what I was doing. Now she was all grown and it was her first year of college. I remembered she was going to be a drug prescriber whatever it’s called. They just fill out prescriptions and hand them to their customers who come and get their medicine. “What are you playing?” Ashley asked. “Bond, James Bond,” I said. She peeked over me and watched me play. “That looks like some overworld game,” she said. “It’s like Zelda,” I said. “Which James Bond is that supposed to be?” “It’s James Bond 007,” I said. “No I mean who is portraying him in the game” “I don’t know, I can’t even see his face. I like to pretend it’s Pierce Brosnan. I think he is the cutest Bond and the best.” “You know James Bond isn’t real,” said Kelly. “I know that,” I said. I don’t know why she had to say that as if I was stupid to think he is real. He is just an actor pretending to be him because it was the role he was hired for in the movies. I wonder who the next Bond will be. I sometimes imagine being in a James Bond movie but I know acting is no fun. You have to stand around and wait for hours before shooting and they reshoot the scene over and do retakes and shoot it from different angles and a three minute scene can take a week to shoot. Would I really want to be in another movie? Would I really not want any privacy and always want people bugging me and calling me and taking stuff from my yard and I have to wear a paper sack on my head? I hear that is what happens to movie stars and singers. Wayne Newton even built a big fence around his house and has up a gate that is locked and it’s hard to see his house. I guess he got tired of people driving by it and looking at it like he is in some zoo. Then I heard from uncle Robert Glen Close has a summer home in Bozeman, Montana and she has a housekeeper there who takes care of the house. I hear plenty of celebrities have homes in Montana and live there because they get more privacy and people in Montana don’t really care about famous people and seeing them. I also hear they like to vacation in Montana because of privacy. It feels like Hollywood but yet I have never seen any celebrities while in the Hollywood like state. I sure didn’t see any down in LA either. “I’ve always liked Roger Moore as him,” said Ashley. “He was the third Bond guy,” I said. “No he was the second,” Ashley argued. “No, the third because George Lazenby played him in On Her majesty Secret service and Live and Let Die was Roger’s Moore’s first Bond movie,” I said. “On Her majesty Secret Service was made in 1969 and Live and Let Die was made in 1973. Sean Connery did play in Diamonds Are Forever which was made in 1971.” “That’s where I got confused,” said Ashley. “He skipped one of the movies so they hired another guy to play him.” “She knows lot of Bond trivia,” said Kelly. “Once she learns something new about it, she always has to share it and she doesn’t care if no one cares and she will share it with you anyway.” “Other people share things I don’t care about and they still want to talk about it,” I said. “The reason why he skipped the movie was because he retired from playing Bond after You Only Live Twice and George Lazenby didn’t want to play him again in Diamonds Are Forever so they wanted Sean Connery back but he demanded a certain payment amount and they worked out an agreement.” “Wasn’t his last Bond movie Never Say Never Again?” Ashley asked. “That wasn’t a real Bond movie,” I said. “That was a remake of Thunderball and it’s not part of the 007 collection. I don’t know why they always include it in the Bond marathon because they sure don’t include Casino Royale. I’m surprised they still haven’t made the real movie yet from the novel. Did you know GoldenEye was the name of Ian Flemming’s home in Jamaica. That is where they got the title from for the movie in 1995. That was where he wrote his James Bond novels.” “You really got her started,” said Kelly. “Now good luck getting her to shut up.” “What is so wrong with hearing about this?” Ashley asked. “It’s interesting. She sure knows a lot about it.” “If you have to hear it all the time, then you get sick of it and you start to hate it.” I talked more about the game and the movies and Mom came back with Skippy from walking him. She had on her hat and gloves and a winter coat. She took them off and her shoes and Skippy was off his leash. “Will you two go in another room or down in the basement to talk about this?” Kelly asked. “You don’t have to listen,” said Ashley. “I was here watching TV and I shouldn’t have to leave just because she is talking about her dumb James Bond,” said Kelly. “I bet you have a lot of James Bond stuff at home,” said Ashley. “Not really,” I said. “No? But you seem to be a big fan of it, how can you not have the stuff from the movies?” “I have the trivia game, the games, some of the movies, the books, cassette tape, I don’t see any other James Bond stuff in stores,” I said. “I bet you can find them on ebay.” “What’s ebay?” I asked. “It’s an auction site, you go there and bid on stuff you want and the highest bidder pays for the item and the person ships it to you.” The name made me think of lunchbay on The Amanda Show. It was a fake commercial and kids would sell their lunch on there they don’t want and by the time the other kid would get it, it would be all moldy. It was a dumb commercial and they had lot of fake dumb commercials. I guess that’s what makes it so funny because it’s so dumb, it’s funny. “Don’t give her any ideas,” said Kelly. “Now I will be in trouble.” I didn’t know how the internet works when you order online and win auctions online. I have never bought anything online. I know you need a credit card to pay. “How are you going to get in trouble if she gets stuff on there?” Ashley asked. “Because then she will go crazy with it and fill her whole room with it. Oh wait, she doesn’t have any money so never mind, she has no way of getting it.” “Not unless she has a job,” said Ashley. “You need to be sixteen,” I said. “Oh the law must be different over here. Here you are allowed to work at fourteen. I didn’t realize states had their own laws about when a minor can work. I was told it was fourteen.” “Whoa, that is young,” said Kelly. “I didn’t know you could work that young. But she is going to be sixteen in a couple of months and she can get a job then and start buying her James Bond crap.” “It’s not crap,” I said. “Yes it is, it’s all waste of money so it’s crap.” “So is your stuff you have that is boring,” I said. “All that is crap.” “No it’s not, your stuff is because it’s all you ever care about. I cleared all my crap out of my room and put it in the toy room. You and Matthew both have crap still in your room.” “Aren’t little sisters a pain, Natalie,” said Ashley. “No she is the pain, not me,” said Kelly. “Lot of sisters are a pain in the butt,” said Ashley. “My brother and sister were so annoying she wouldn’t stop taking my clothes and wearing them or taking my things without asking and she was always trying to listen in on my conversations and reading my diary.” I have never taken any Kelly’s clothes or took her stuff without asking but I have used them before but never took them or read her private stuff or trying to listen in on her conversations. I was a better sister than Jessyka. “I’m a better sister than Jessyka,” I said to Kelly. “I bet she didn’t go on and on about James Bond and other stuff she was into,” said Kelly. “No she didn’t,” said Ashley. “See, she is better than you,” said Kelly. “I never did what Jessyka did,” I said. “So, she doesn’t go on and on about stuff no one cares about.” Then Matthew came upstairs. He was still in his pajamas. “Good morning Matthew, have some breakfast,” said Dad. Matthew looked around in the kitchen. “Hey we have food here,” said Uncle Nate show him but he ignore him and looked in cupboards. Mom was looking nervous or scared. Then Matthew shouted “Where are the Fruit Loops?” “We have don’t have any, sorry buddy,” said Nate. Matthew started his fit. “We have to get some Fruit Loops, Glen,” said Mom. “No, this is the time he learns to be flexible,” said Dad. “He’s right Anita,” said Grandma. “If he doesn’t get his Fruit Loops, he won’t be able to relax and he will have his bad fits all day long,” said Mom. “Tough for him, he will learn eventually,” said Grandma. Mom looked at Matthew and then she yelled, “You want to have a bad Thanksgiving, fine by me but don’t blame it on me,” and she picked up a plastic cup and threw it and ran down in the basement as Dad shouted “Anita” when she threw the cup. Matthew was still upset. It was now chaos and everyone was shouting and then telling Dad to stop him and calm him down. Matthew never takes it well when he doesn’t have his cereal. He always has to have Fruit Loops and no matter what breakfast he has, he always has to have Fruit Loops even if he is going to have something else. I swear he has OCD too if he has to have that cereal every day. I asked him before why does he always have to have it every day and he said it helps him and he feels comfortable and without it, his day doesn’t go well and it’s better if things are the same and he wouldn’t tell me why he didn’t like change, he said his brain just doesn’t like it. Mom said she is the same way too and she doesn’t like change so she knows how my brother feels and how important it is for him. She said I am the same way too so I should understand even if I don’t have to eat the same cereal every day but it’s in other things even if I don’t live on a schedule or have any restricted routine. “Why is he upset about them not having what he wanted for breakfast?” Ashley asked. “He always has to have his Fruit Loops,” I said. Matthew punched the wall in the dining room. “Matthew!” Dad yelled. “Send him downstairs,” said Grandpa. Dad grabbed Matthew yelling at him and he was crying and screaming. He bit him in the hand and Dad yelled “ow” and grabbed his hands. “You should have packed your cereal,” Dad yelled. “Glen is saving a few bucks really worth this madness,” Aunt Elizabeth asked. “How do you know about my business?’ Dad asked. “Did my wife tell you?” “I know you guys have some extra bills to pay for so your budget is tighter so you are turning into a cheapskate.” “Cheapskate? Did she call me that or did you?” Dad yelled. “That’s what you are right now. C’mon, a box of cereal, it’s not a big deal. There are plenty of grocery stores here.” “I see you’re on her side,” said Dad. Dad pulled Matthew down the stairs. “Nate, I don’t know why you had to invite this family,” I heard Gladys say. “I heard that,” said Grandma. “They’re family so of course he would invite them. I wouldn’t have come if they were being excluded and I would have done my own Thanksgiving at my house and invite them or come down to their house with John and Celeste.” “It’s nothing personal, it’s just that every time they are around, there is always disaster; an adult throwing a tantrum and blowing up, Matthew throwing a tantrum when he doesn’t have his way and Natalie-” “You’re so intolerant,” said Grandma. “Where is your empathy and they say people with Asperger’s don’t have it. I see it all the time in normies. Gee why did I come on this trip? Oh right, I came to see my family even if my own husband has a bigoted sister in law.” “Del,” said Grandpa. “I won’t have anyone talk that way about my children and grandchildren,” said Grandma. “I have had enough ignorant comments over the years about my four children so I have learned to get tough and stand up to them.” I had no clue Gladys hated us. I wonder what she was going to say about me before Grandma cut her off. “Del, you’re over reacting, she didn’t say anything bad,” said Grandpa. “Don’t tell me I am over reacting, she just implied she didn’t want them here,” Grandma shouted. “What kind of family is that?” Aunt Elizabeth was down in the basement with Mom and Dad and Matthew. “It can be tough being around them,” said Grandpa. “But we’re used to it because we dealt with it for so long so we learned to deal with it and how often have they been around them? How many times have they been around our daughter?” “It still bothered me when she said it, Phil,” said Grandma. “She should have just kept her mouth shut or wait until I wasn’t around when she said it.” “You’re right, I screwed up, I shouldn’t have said it and it was very wrong of me,” said Aunt Gladys. “I’m very sorry.” There was no more fighting and commotion. Aunt Elizabeth and Mom came upstairs with Matthew and announced they were going to get him some Fruit Loops. Grandma sighed. “Okay, whatever.” “Mom, it’s just cereal, it’s not even a big deal and it’s Thanksgiving, is it really worth having a bad holiday over a box of cereal?” Aunt Elizabeth asked. “You can buy it anywhere, besides it’s not like we’re doing Groundhog Day.” “I suppose you’re right,” said Grandma. “Besides you let John get his way so what is wrong with me letting my own child get his way,” said Mom. “How fair is that? It’s just cereal, it’s not like we all have to do Groundhog Day to keep him from having a breakdown.” Aunt Elizabeth and her headed out the door with Matthew and Aunt Elizabeth said they will be back. “Matthew sure loves his cereal,” said Ashley. “True, at least we all get to do our thing every day and not have to live like Groundhog Day,” said Grandpa. The grownups were making food for Thanksgiving and getting it all prepared for today. I didn’t know what we were going to do today. Dad was upstairs helping too. “Dad, what are we doing today?” I asked. “Just staying here and getting all the meals cooked,” he said. “Pretty soon more people will be here.” Uncle Nate was nice to unhook the VCR for us and bring it to the basement so I could play my Nintendo 64 so I wouldn’t be bored and get all anxious. Kelly was so happy I was going to be down here so she wouldn’t have to hear or see James Bond. Soon Mom, Aunt Elizabeth, and Matthew came back and they got gotten mini boxes of Fruit Loops, it’s those small boxes that only have one servings of cereal in them for travel. I saw him come in the basement with his bowl of cereal. Aunt Bridgett and her kids arrived with their ugly dog around eleven. I didn’t bother saying hi to them because I was too busy with my game. Not too long later, Uncle Robert and his wife Jackie and their kids, Jordan and Jessyka arrived. Jordan is seventeen and Jessyka is my age. I have lot of cousins who are my age, I don’t mean they’re all fifteen, they’re all close to my age range. Jessyka is my exact age except I am a little older than her by three months. Pretty soon I will be the same age as Timmy and Christina. Uncle Robert and his family also don’t live far because they live up north in the Flathead so it only took them two hours to get here. Everyone visited and all my cousins hung out with each other. All they wanted to do was chit chat and Jordan had brought his TV set along with his Nintendo 64 and a sports game and he and Timmy and Jesse all sat and played a round of football. So there was me playing GoldenEye while they were playing football. I didn’t know where my other cousins were. I hated when the boys would cheer and scream when they would get a touch down or a fumble. It always startled me and hurt my ears. I kept telling them to not be so loud and they kept apologizing. Then finally they turned the game off and put in another game and it was also GoldenEye and they did multiplayer. I told you that game is popular. I was starting to get hungry again but I ignored the feeling. “Hey let’s play the dam level,” said Jordan. For some reason I didn’t find it humorous like I did before. I just didn’t care for the word and the name. I paid no attention to my diaper. Even though the diapers were out in the open for anyone to see, they said nothing about them. We all played for the rest of the day until dinner. I talked to my cousins and I told them about how poor our Aunt Bridgett is and Timmy wanted to know how I knew about their life and I said Amber told Kelly and she told us. I wanted everyone in our family to help them so they wouldn’t have to go without electricity or have to starve or go without a working washing machine or TV or struggle to pay their gas bill so they wouldn’t have to take cold showers, and we could buy them clothes so they wouldn’t have to wear any that is too small. “You weren’t supposed to know about this,” said Timmy. “My sister wasn’t supposed to tell anyone.” “Why?” “Because Mom doesn’t want help and be a burden to all of you,” he said. “She doesn’t want anyone to know and our dad won’t help us and Mom has full custody over us.” “Why won’t your dad help?” I asked. “I don’t know. He just doesn’t. Both our parents hate each other and he says my mom has a crazy family.” “We’re crazy?” Jordan asked. “Your father is delusional.” I told Jesse and Timmy about tips on how to save money the Dad way and he thinks they should get rid of their dog. “No way,” Jesse shouted. “That’s so gay, I am not going to live that way,” said Timmy. “You say that word too,” I said. “Gay?” “Yes.” “It’s a figure of speech.” “I didn’t know you guys said it too,” I said. “Everyone says it at my school,” said Timmy. “Amber is so dead,” said Jesse. “Mom is going to kill her when she finds out.” That scared Matthew because he said she would go to jail for killing her daughter. “It’s a figure of speech,” said Jesse. “She isn’t going to kill her kill her. She will just be really mad at her and maybe ground her for a real long time.” “No way we are going to get rid of our family member,” said Timmy. “It’s a dog,” I said. “He’s still a member of our family,” said Jesse. “But it’s a dog and people are more important than pets and you get rid of them if you can’t have them,” I said. “Nuh uh,” said Jesse. “That’s what my dad said,” I said. “He’s lying or is that his drunk mind saying it?” said Timmy. “Dad doesn’t drink anymore,” said Matthew. “He quit? When?” Matthew told them about our dad crashing into the bank and going to jail and then going to court and he lost his driver’s license and he has to pay for the damage and the court costs and the fines and he isn’t allowed to drink. “Damn,” said Timmy. “He really screwed up.” “Dumbass,” said Jesse. “We might live like you now,” I said. “I hope we won’t though.” “Has your dad ever kicked your mom’s ass during his drunken rages?” Timmy asked Matthew and I. “No,” I said. “Mine used to beat my mom’s ass all the time when we were all little,” said Timmy. “I know,” I said. “How did you know?” “My mom told me,” I said. “Does she drink?” “No,” I said. “Yes she has,” said Matthew. “She doesn’t drink like Dad does,” I said. I couldn’t remember the last time she had a drink. It was a wine cooler last time. I once had one and it made me dizzy I felt like I was going to pass out I couldn’t even finish it. “Why do you continue seeing your father if he always beat your mom?” I asked. “Because he is our dad,” said Jesse. “But he never supports you guys so why see him,” I said. I asked them questions about their old life when their parents were together and what it was like. Timmy kept saying it was all bad but he kept giving me vague answers so I asked for more detail and Jordan said I was getting too personal and I shouldn’t ask those things. “Why?” I asked. “Because it’s personal and a bad thing and people may not want to talk about it or be reminded of it.” “They brought it up,” I said. “You still shouldn’t ask those things,” said Jordan. “They shouldn’t have brought it up then,” I said. I think bringing it up is an invite to talk about it. If you don’t want to be asked about something, don’t bring it up. Why bring it up if you don’t want to talk about it? The rumble in my tummy and the wetness around my bottom made me paused my game. My diaper had leaked because I had forgotten to change it. I was so into my video games I forgot. I could feel it sagging too and it was uncomfortable. I grabbed a clean pair of pants and a diaper and went upstairs to change. I saw Jaymee, Kelly, Amber, Jessyka, Ashley, Dad, Aunt Elizabeth, and Uncle Tom were all playing Monopoly on the coffee table in the living room. Gladys and Uncle Nate were still in the kitchen working. Grandma, Mom, Aunt Bridgett, Aunt Jackie were all playing a board game in one of the bedrooms on the bed. It was Scrabble. The other guys were around watching football in the living room and Uncle John was off by himself. I even noticed two other men being here and I didn’t know who they were. I went in the bathroom and changed my diaper again. I changed my pants and tossed them in the laundry room and threw my diaper away outside. I saw Rufus was sitting under the table and he also had his food out. There was already some snacks laid out on the kitchen table and the dining room table was already set and there were other plates and silverware and glasses on the kitchen counter since there wouldn’t be enough room to sit at the table. The house was crowded now with twenty two people and the table only seated ten. I noticed they added extra chairs to it. “When do we eat?” I asked. “Soon at four,” said Gladys. “If you’re hungry, we have snacks on the counter,” I saw they had chips out and a piece of pie and a bowl full of nuts and M&Ms. I dug in the bowl and grabbed the M& Ms. “Hey, don’t take the M&Ms only, that is rude,” said Gladys. “Why?” I asked. “Because it just is, you don’t just go digging into something for a certain food. You take a handful.” I dug my hand in the bowl and took a handful out. “Yes like that and you start eating it.” I ate the M&Ms only in my hand and put the pile down and dig for another handful. “Natalie, what did I tell you?” Gladys scolded. “What is she doing?” Dad asked. “Taking M&Ms from the bowl ad eating them.” “I’m taking a handful,” I said. Dad left the game and came in the kitchen and saw the mess I did on the counter in front of the bowl. “Natalie, you need to pick this up,” said Dad. I picked it up and stuck them in the bowl. Gladys sighed. “You and your wife need to do a better job with your kids.” “I told her to pick them up and she did, my bad,” said Dad. “Natalie just take what is in your hand and eat it, not put them on the counter and go for more making a mess and then sticking it back in.” I didn’t want the mix anymore. I said I was starving and Dad suggested I have a piece of pie since I love dessert. There were also some crackers and some veggies with dip. Dad told me I could have some of that too. I didn’t want to get too full to have Thanksgiving. I had a piece of pie and ate it and stuck the plate in the sink. Dad went back to his game and Uncle Nate was cutting up the meat. I went back to my game in the basement. Mathew was still playing with his toys he brought along. Then soon we were called to come upstairs to eat. I went upstairs and everyone was in the room. There was a line. Dad told me to go wait in line. I was still starving and I was anxious to get my food. I was anxious waiting in line and it felt like being at school and waiting in line for my food. I told myself it was like being in school, just waiting in line to get my lunch. Everyone had a plate and there was some on the dining room table and on the kitchen counter. Mom was just sitting out and so was Uncle John and Matthew was very anxious to get his food he didn’t want to wait. Aunt Gladys scolded at him to be patient and get in line. Dad finally corrected his behavior to wait with us. When I got close to the food I started to serve it on my plate. I put some pea salad on it, I put on some turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, casserole with string beans and cheese in it, cranberry sauce, a roll, there was some food I didn’t grab because it didn’t interest me and it wasn’t my favorite. I even grabbed three deviled eggs. I didn’t know where to sit after I was done getting my food. Dad told me to sit in the living room and put my food on the table next to the couch. I also got some sparkling cider and it was in a wine glass. I pretended it was wine I was drinking. I grabbed a spoon and fork and started to eat. Mom got her food after everyone got theirs and Grandma got Uncle John his food. Everyone sat and visited and some were standing. Then I heard an announcement from Grandma about Uncle Sam and his wife were expecting another baby in July. They already have four other kids and they live on Long Island so that far they live from us and we never get to see them. I haven’t seen them since I was eleven and they have had two more kids since. “They already have enough kids,” I said. “I wonder if they are going to keep having them like Grandma Del did,” I said. Everyone laughed. I didn’t know what was so funny. “She is eight weeks along,” said Grandma. “I did tell her to not have too many kids so she should get herself fixed after the baby.” Everyone was happy about another baby coming and I felt happy too even though five is a lot of kids. I think three is enough and four. Mom said before she was better off with two because of our huge age difference and she got pregnant again on accident and finally got her tubes tied so she wouldn’t have more. I wonder why she didn’t just have an abortion. I tried to imagine what my life would be like if it was just Brian and I. I would be an only child in the house and we would have two extra bedrooms and more Christmas presents for us. There would be no dumb blonde sister or annoying brother. But if it weren’t for Kelly, I would have never played Sega and get into Sonic since she got the Sega for Christmas that one year and we never had much games for it. Now we buy them used. Then a crazy thought came to my head, Dad decides to sell the house because it’s just the three of us and we don’t need that much room and he can use it to pay off his fines and we move into something smaller and get rid of our furniture we have no room for and other stuff. I overheard Grandma talking about my cousin Averick. She mentioned he was having problems at home and in school. He was having problems with behavior in school and with other kids and he was diagnosed with ADHD and they say he is having behavior issues. He sounded like another un normie. Grandma also mentioned about Aunt Suzy (Uncle’s Sam’s wife) saying he is picky about his clothes and what he wears and his OCD behavior and his anger and outbursts. Then she told them they should get him tested for Asperger’s and she doesn’t know if they have done it yet. Last time I saw him, he seemed normal but he was only three then. Then John started to yell and scream and jerking his body and Uncle Tom and Grandpa took him into one of the bedrooms. “What’s wrong with him?” I asked. “He is just getting too overwhelmed from all the noise out here,” said Grandpa. I ate all my food and I felt full but I wanted more stuffing because it was so good and stuffing is my favorite. I went for more and drinking sparkling cider made me fuller and I soon felt sick to my stomach. Then Matthew brought up Aunt Bridgett and our cousins being poor and started to mention how they live. “Who told you this?” Aunt Bridgett asked. “Kelly told us,” I said. “They sometimes go without electricity, go without heat, go with cold showers, go hungry, eat Tap Ramen noodles, wear clothes that are too small, the kids sometimes have to miss school if they miss the bus because she can’t afford to drive them.” “Kelly,” Amber yelled. “Why did you tell them?” “I’m sorry, they weren’t supposed to blurt it,” she said. “I told them to keep it a secret.” “No you didn’t,” said Matthew and I. Amber yelled at Kelly for telling and Aunt Bridgett was yelling at her for yelling her. Then Kelly told us “Thanks a lot Natalie and Matthew.” “No, you shouldn’t have told anyone,” Aunt Bridgett yelled. “You embarrassed me and so did you Amber.” “If you ever need money, just tell us,” said Grandma. “I will send you some money for clothes or to help pay for anything if my husband isn’t too cheap about it,” said Mom. “No, we can’t afford to help them,” said Dad. “She has all her other family who can help them.” “If I would have known Jaymee needed new clothes, I would have sent Kelly’s old ones to her instead of giving them to charity or selling them,” said Mom. “I have a dress I outgrew and I wore it for Halloween for my costume, I could give it to her,” said Kelly. “Do you have any food at home?” Uncle Robert asked. “We have plenty, we’re fine,” said Aunt Bridgett. “Do you need a new car because it’s a POS one,” I said. “Maybe we can give her a car if we have an extra one to give her,” I said to everyone. Everyone looked at me. “Natalie,” said Aunt Gladys. “What?” I said. “That wasn’t very nice.” “What did I do?” I asked. “Who taught you to say her car is a POS?” Mom asked. “Dad,” I said. Everyone then looked at him. “I never called it that,” he said. “Yes you did,” I said. “You called it that yesterday and said she should get a new one.” “No I didn’t,” said Dad. “I don’t know where she got that from that I said it.” But everyone just kept looking at him and Aunt Bridgett laughed and said, “It is a piece of junk I know. It’s all I have but at least I have a car. At least it runs even if we have no air conditioning or don’t have working window cleaner on my windshield or the one of the doors doesn’t open from the outside, or cruise control not working, and it blows out lot of fumes. My biggest fear it when my license plates expire, I won’t be able to get it past the DEQ and I won’t be able to renew the stickers and it will be lot of money to get it fixed.” “What’s a DEQ?” I asked. Everyone kept talking and I asked the question out loud again trying to get their attention. Gladys scolded me for being rude and told me everyone is talking and wait my turn and to not shout because there is no trouble and everyone can hear me. Mom told me what a DEQ is. She said it’s where people go and take their vehicles and have them past a test to make sure their car is clean for the environment before they renew their license plates. I asked her more about it and she said not everyone in the state of Washington has to go get it because it’s only in Seattle, Tacoma, Spokane, and our area. I asked why and she said it probably has to do with more people and they want to keep the air pollution down. The DEQ made me think of Dairy Queen because of the DQ part. My family calls it DQ for short. I kept picturing ice cream with the name DEQ and picturing Dairy Queen and taking your car there before renewing your plates. Things always expire because they want to make money. I have joked about us being greedy so we make things expire but my dad said that is how they make money and they need money to keep our country running. Money is fuel. They also need money so they can pay to keep the roads maintained. I thought that was what taxes are for. I still think people are greedy. I can understand why they would want people to renew their license to get a new photo taken because people get older so they need a new photo for it but yet they make them pay so that is why I say they’re greedy. But Dad said they have to pay their employees so they have to charge their customers money and the employees need to make money so they can pay their bills. Money is fuel. I started to tell Aunt Bridgett what Dad said about saving money like getting rid of the dog to save on vet bills and food, have the kids shower at school, have a bed time so they won’t use any power at night, limit the electricity use and limit toilet flushing, start using rags as toilet paper but Aunt Bridgett rejected it all. I also told her she should cut out junk food and desserts and pop if she has been buying any and that will make her food stamps last longer. Amber, Jesse, Jaymee, and Timmy all protested. They said it was gay and Jaymee said it all sucked. Aunt Bridgett said, “Over our dead body.” “But you shouldn’t have a dog if you’re poor,” I said. “My other Grandfather says poor people have poor ways.” “We are not getting rid of our dog,” said Aunt Bridgett. “But then how are you going to afford paying the vet if you have to take him there, what about when he needs shots and his license expires?” “We make ends meet and wait until we can afford it,” said Aunt Bridgett. “But I like your other ideas and I will still buy snacks every now and then as a treat.” “Mom,” Amber cried. “No,” said Jesse. “It’s a great idea, it will help us with our bills and save money,” said Aunt Bridgett. “See Anita, she is going to do it, why not follow her lead,” said Dad. “We are not poor and I am not going to live like we are,” said Mom. “If I have a huge bill to pay we have to so we won’t live like we’re poor,” said Dad. “We already are,” said Mom. “You don’t handle the finances so you wouldn’t understand,” said Dad. “Want to handle it again, just don’t make us go broke and be in debt and have late fees or have anything shut off or not being able to pay the mortgage on our house.” Grandma then stepped in trying to break up their fight. ‘”Jesus, stay out of this will you?” Dad shouted at her. “You want to fight, go down to the basement and do it, none of us don’t want to hear it,” said Grandma. “You treat us like children,” said Mom. “You’re acting like it,” said Grandma. “This is Thanksgiving and I don’t want it ruined.” Mom and Dad quit fighting. Mom just walked away from him moving her food and drink and sat somewhere else. “Look into your local church for help?” said Aunt Gladys to Aunt Bridgett. “They will give you clothes and food.” “Do toys for tots,” I said. “Go to the food bank and get stuff from charity.” “I would like to help pay for your heat,” said Aunt Elizabeth. “So your children won’t freeze and not have to take cold baths so I will pay for what you can’t afford.” “There is Lee yap,” said Dad. “Also check with your local electric company and see if they have a plan for the low income.” “Guys, I am fine, I don’t want to be a burden and rely on you guys to live,” said Aunt Bridgett. “Oh nonsense, we’re family,” said Grandma. “Your kids shouldn’t be living that way and we should all be helping you out and all those people out there who are that poor have no help from their families or have too much pride to ask for it like you.” Everyone kept talking and Amber was still mad at us because she didn’t want to change the way she lived making it worse and I had to give her mom that idea Dad had. Kelly was mad at Matthew and me for even telling. Aunt Bridgett was refusing to accept extra help with her electricity and she still didn’t want to take advantage of them by letting her kids use all the electricity they want and Dad suggested to have her kids take short showers, they have no reason to be in there for ten minutes or just have them do it at school. “Jaymee’s school doesn’t have showers,” said Aunt Bridgett. “Okay so she can shower at home but limit five minutes to it,” said Dad. “I have been doing that for years and making all my kids take short showers or they have to pay me money for longer ones with their allowance so they can see how expensive the bill is for natural gas. It gives kids a good lesson about money and finances if you make them pay their share.” “Our own children have been earning their own money from working since age twelve,” said Uncle Rob. “If they wanted money, they had to do chores and do yard work to earn it, they no longer got allowance, they had to earn it. Now they have jobs.” “What do they do for work?” one of Uncle Nate’s friends asked. “Jessyka works at Blimpies and Jordan is working for a friend of ours with construction, and Ashley is a full time student at the university here but she has worked at Subway.” “What do your kids do for work, Glen?” the same friend asked. “Brian works in a restaurant and all my other kids just go to school,” said Dad. “What, no jobs?” “Natalie’s job is just going to school and no way are we letting her work, not when she is in school and Kelly baby sits if you count that as work and Matthew is only nine.” “But isn’t she fifteen? She should be working.” “Not everyone is the same,” said Dad. “Besides you’re only a kid once so why rush it?” “How is she going to learn when she is an adult?” “When summer time comes, then she can get one and when she finishes school, we will work on it.” Everyone was talking it was hard to hear every conversation. Mom just left and went to the basement. I didn’t feel sick anymore so I went for more food. I also grabbed some dessert this time and there were three different kinds. Aunt Gladys told me to take only one piece. “I did,” I said. “No I mean one, not one each,” she said. “There are other people here so you need to think about others and let everyone have a piece before you get more.” I had to put two other pie pieces back. For some reason Aunt Gladys and I were not getting along. I couldn’t stop doing the wrong things. I put some whipping cream on my pumpkin pie sat back down and ate it. I felt sick again. I just went back to the basement and played more of my game. The other game was still on pause my cousins were playing. Then Ashley came down and she watched me play and asked me about the game. I felt a little annoyed because I wanted to play and not be bothered. Finally I snapped and said “I am trying to play my game.” “Sorry, I was just trying to spend time with you,” she said. “You can do that and not talk,” I said. Ashley soon left and the boys came back down to their game with their desserts and Matthew stayed upstairs. Mom went up too and went back to her game. Aunt Bridgett and her kids and Uncle Robert and his wife and their kids stayed until evening and left. Aunt Bridgett left first with her kids and Rufus between seven and seven thirty. Uncle Rob and his family left at eight and their Nintendo 64 and their TV was all packed up in their Suburban and they left. Uncle Nate’s friends left too so the house felt more empty and quieter. Ashley was gone too because she also left and went back to her dorm. “This family is funny, people come and visit and have dinner and then everyone leaves right after it’s over,” said Dad to Mom. “Your parents are leaving tomorrow and we’re leaving the next day and Elizabeth and her husband are leaving too tomorrow. Are you sure you don’t want to leave tomorrow?” Hearing that made me nervous. We weren’t supposed to leave until Saturday. “We just got here yesterday,” said Mom. “Well everyone is leaving tomorrow so I don’t know if we want to be the only ones here with these people who are not akin to you. We can’t go out and do stuff because of money we have to save.” I started to get worried, were we leaving tomorrow or Saturday. I butted in and said “I thought we were leaving Saturday,” I said. “Natalie, stuff you’re doing here, you’re going to be doing at home,” said Dad. “You’re getting rid of cable,” I said. “You still have your Nintendo.” “Glen, you were on my case about me wanting to leave on Friday and now you are on my case about not leaving until Saturday,” said Mom. “Make up your mind.” “It’s just that you three have been having troubles here, you, Natalie, and Matthew and seeing you fight with your mother, there is always drama when we are all together,” said Dad. Mom got upset and said she can’t handle this right now and walked away. I got my stuff and showered again. Dad still had the five minute shower rule even though we weren’t home but he didn’t want us using their water and heat. He said we had to be considerate. After I got done, I put my diapers on and my pajamas. I realized I never washed the blankets on my air mattress but I figured the spot was dry. I left the bathroom with a towel on my head and I had my socks on too because I don’t like to go barefoot. I watched a thriller movie on TV with Uncle Tom, Aunt Elizabeth, Mom, and Uncle John. It had Macaulay Culkin in it and he played the bad kid. So far he had killed a dog, and caused a car accident on a road but luckily no one was seriously hurt and he had tricked his cousin into helping him with it. It felt weird seeing him play a villain because he was always the good guy in his other movies. Aunt Elizabeth said he didn’t have the ability to feel remorse or empathy in the movie so he does these bad things. I couldn’t imagine doing them. Also what was weird was they had the same last name as us. I have seen other people with the same last name as ours and people with the name Evan. Now when I am going to be watching his other movies, I won’t be able to look at his characters the same because he played an evil kid. I could imagine watching Home Alone and seeing Kevin and feeling how weird it would feel seeing him because he was a good kid in in that movie but a bad kid in the other. “Can there be any kids that are evil in real life?” I asked. “Oh definitely,” said Aunt Elizabeth. “Some experts think one can be born evil. They have studied killers and looked at their past and what their childhood was like to figure out what made them kill.” I wondered if there has ever been a kid out there that has killed anyone or another animal and is like Henry. “I wonder if there are any Henry’s out there?” I asked. “Let’s see, a ten year old boy once shot his five year old sister because he was jealous,” said Mom. “Two years ago, fifteen year old Kip Kinkel killed his parents and took the gun to school and shot a few other people there in Springfield, Oregon. In England, those two ten year old boys who took a three year old boy from a shopping center and tortured him and left him on the railroad tracks for him to get run over and in 1968 a eleven year old girl killed two little boys so it’s possible.” I already knew kids have killed but I wondered if any of them were like Henry like that six year old boy who shot his six year old classmate back in February. He did it because he didn’t like her so he shot her. I have had killing fantasies but it never occurred to me to bring a knife to school and kill anyone or think of how to kill other kids who didn’t like me and we don’t have a gun. I wonder if that six year old boy is a Henry. I couldn’t imagine a two year old being evil so she always went out and killed and tortured people or trying to hurt her own family and no one believes them or imagining a five year old being a killer and killing animals and doing evil things. That all felt like a horror movie and only something you would see in a movie. We watched the rest of the movie and I was shocked and happy at the same time because Mark was able to save his aunt from getting killed by Henry when she found out the truth about him and she was able to save him back by letting go of her son’s hand to save Mark. I was shocked because I couldn’t imagine a parent not saving her own child but he was evil so if she saved him instead, he may have tried killing her again so she was better off if he died and he may have tried to kill his sister again like he tried to in the movie and he had already killed his little brother. He was already dead when the movie started so he was only mentioned. I could imagine Susan being sad because not only had she lost Richard, she lost two kids now and had one child now even though she had let go of him. Mom said it was a tough decision she made in the movie and sometimes your safety comes first and your family’s safety so you have to make a tough decision and that is dropping your kid to their death to save your nephew even though all parents want to protect their kids and save them. I couldn’t understand how it could be a tough decision if your own kid tried to kill you so Aunt Elizabeth told me I wouldn’t understand until I have kids. It’s so easy to say what you would do if you were in that situation when you don’t have children. Aunt Elizabeth and Uncle Tom went in their room they were sleeping in. Mom went down in the basement and Uncle John went to the bedroom he was sleeping in when Grandma came out and got him. I just channel surfed to see what was on. Aunt Gladys came out to use the bathroom and she came out yelling at me for leaving my diaper in the bathroom stinking it all up. I felt numbed and embarrassed for what I did. I had forgotten about it and I didn’t mean to leave it in there. I just stood there as she yelled and she held the waste basket in her hand and asked me if that is what I do at home. I couldn’t even answer and then she was all sweet again because she said nicely it wasn’t my fault and my parents just need to raise me better but it’s not polite to throw dirty things in there and she apologized for raising her voice. Then she nicely asked me to empty the waste basket outside. I knew she meant in the trash cans so I went outside to the trash cans and emptied it all in there. I went back inside and she was nowhere to be seen. I went in the bathroom and Gladys was on the toilet and I closed the door right away when she screamed my name. No wonder it was closed. I need to remember to knock. I set the wastebasket by the door. I was embarrassed again what I did. I felt like a bad person. I hid in the basement. My whole family was down here. “What happened up there, I heard yelling,” said Dad. “I accidentally left my diaper in the bathroom,” I said. “I hope you don’t poop your diapers again at night, the whole basement smelled because of you and I couldn’t even sleep under the blankets or above it,” said Kelly. “Can we all wake her up if she does it again so she can change? I don’t want to smell it again.” “I will be too tired to do it,” I said. I did not like the idea of being woken up at night to change. “Then have Mom change her,” said Kelly. “Also can I have my own mattress because she kept me up at night rolling around in it and kicking me?” “I did not,” I said. “You did it in your sleep.” “I can’t have you and Matthew sleep together or have them sleep together so I can see if they have an extra blanket and you can sleep upstairs on the couch,” said Dad. He and Kelly both went upstairs. Matthew was playing my Nintendo 64 and Mom was reading. He was playing one of his new games he got at the mall. The game didn’t interest me and I played my Game Boy instead. I couldn’t play my Super Nintendo because Matthew had the TV. Then Dad came back downstairs and told me I was sleeping alone on the big mattress. I didn’t care. Matthew got frustrated at one of the levels and started to yell and scream. “Turn the game off,” Mom ordered. “You need a break.” Matthew kept playing and he yelled again shaking the controller. “Matthew, if you cannot relax and calm down, I will make you turn the game off,” Mom said again. He kept his anger quieter by shaking the controller without screaming and making growling sounds. I laughed. “Shut up,” he said. I was finding out how stupid it looked getting mad at a video game when you lose or mess up. Then he got so frustrated he tossed the controller and it hit the game system. Luckily it didn’t break and neither did the controller. “Okay Matthew, time to turn it off,” said Dad. “No no,” said Matthew. “Yes yes, you cannot calm down and you need a time out from that game.” Matthew turned the game off and pulled the game out and put in another game but Dad still made him keep the system off. “You said only that game,” said Matthew. ”I did and I am making you keep it off,” said Dad. “No you said that game, I put in a different game.” “I meant the Nintendo 64.” Matthew got more upset. “You can play again when you’re calm,” said Dad. Matthew’s tantrum was bothering me. It was loud and annoying. I mimicked his crying like parents do with their children and baby sitters. Mom and Dad scolded me for it and told me to stop it. I stopped and I made faces at him. Dad slapped me on the shoulder with The Missoulian he was reading and told me to stop it. “What did she do?” Mom asked. “Making fun of her brother.” I hooked up my Super Nintendo and played Mickey’s Ultimate Challenge while Matthew cried. I did the easiest setting and did all the mini games on it collecting items and returning them to the right person. Then I had to climb the beanstalk and unscramble the puzzle to wake up the giant. Matthew was calmed down by then. Then I had beaten the whole game after the giant woke up. I decided to try a harder level so I picked medium and played it again. I started with the library and I found I would fall right through the bookshelves and have to start over so I had to make sure I stayed on the books. I could see how they made it harder. It took me a few tries to get all the letters before getting the book from the librarian. I think her name is Clarabelle. I went to the next door and had to push the spell bottles into the hole to be freed when Donald accidentally shrunk me. I didn’t see the game any harder but I noticed an extra level. I had to restart a few times before I figured out the puzzle. I was able to pass the other mini games but I couldn’t pass Goofy’s game because I could never figure out what tools he had in order in his tool box and I would run out of room before I could figure it out and the game wouldn’t tell me what tool I had in the correct spot. I gave up and turned the game off and read. Matthew was already a sleep. He fell asleep on his mattress. I got tired and fell asleep in my bed, I man air mattress of course.
I woke up at night in a full diaper. It was messy because I could smell it. I felt around for leaks. I wasn’t sure if I had any poop on my hands so I turned on the light and checked. No one woke up. I looked at my fingers and didn’t see any poop. I poked my finger inside a little to see if there was any poop and there was a little on my finger. I wiped it with a wipe and turned the light off. I wasn’t sure what to do. I was too tired to change and everyone was sleeping. I hated messy diapers at night. Why couldn’t it happen in the morning or last night before my shower? I felt the outside of my diaper and I could feel the mess inside. It was probably my Thanksgiving dinner. I felt more come out because I could feel it expanding and I heard farting. I also felt the diaper getting wetter in the front. If only I were a guy, I would pee in the front instead of middle and all the pee would be in the front instead of going in the middle and then it leaking due to the poop. But luckily no pee ran down my legs. I just felt it soaking to the front where it could soak into where it was dry. I thought I heard it too but I wasn’t sure. Just my mind playing tricks on me probably because there is no way I can hear it if it’s quiet. I couldn’t imagine what would happen if I had on one diaper, I bet it would leak all over the bed and then I would have been screwed and have nowhere else to sleep. I can remember Mom just showing me how to strip my bed and change the sheets if I leak on my bed after she would get through changing me. Now I was on my own. I didn’t know what to do. I have changed my messy diaper in public before without a shower and I have washed my butt off in the middle of the night at home. I just walked around and cried a little. I was afraid of leaking if I went back to sleep. I grabbed two extra diapers and went upstairs to change. I went in the bathroom. I turned the light on and closed the bathroom door. I took off my pajamas and looked at my diaper. I couldn’t tell I had messed in it. I took it off and threw it in the wastebasket. I took off my bra and socks and turned the water on. I felt nervous as I did it. I rinsed the poop off my butt. Right when I was doing it, there was a knock on the door. I jumped. “What?” I asked. “Why are you showering this time of night?” Aunt Gladys asked. “I’m cleaning myself,” I said. “Can’t you wait until morning, there are people sleeping,” she said. “I can’t,” I said. “Turn it off now, people are sleeping,” she said again. I started to feel stressed out. I kept washing the poop off me but Gladys kept knocking and said “Natalie, now!” I kept rinsing off and she kept knocking on the door and whispering at me to get out of the shower. I wanted to scream. I felt stress building inside me from being rushed. I tried ignoring her and she turned the knob but it was locked. She kept knocking on the door and told me there were people sleeping and I am being very selfish. I finally got done and turned the water off but it didn’t end. She was still yelling at me and I felt overwhelmed and I wanted it all to stop. I wanted to scream but then I would wake everyone up. Water dripped down my legs from the shower and I used a towel to wipe it all off and the rushing was stressing me out. I was too afraid to leave the bathroom. I started to cry. I wish my parents would come to the rescue. I had two of my diapers sitting on counter and my pajamas lying on the bathroom floor and my socks. I picked them all up and my two diapers. I decided to try and be James Bond. I opened the door unlocking it and there was Gladys. I rushed out of there and she called after me. I ran to the basement turning on the light and Gladys came down after me. Dad woke up and then Mom. Dad saw mw naked and turned his head quick. “What is going on?” he asked. “Your daughter decided to take a shower this late at night while everyone is sleeping,” said Aunt Gladys. “I had to clean up to change,” I cried. “Natalie, why do you have your stuff off?” Mom asked. “I was washing myself and she started rushing me telling me to turn it off and she kept yelling at me.” “She always washes herself when she poops herself,” said Mom. “Couldn’t she have wait until morning?” “Are you serious?” Mom asked. “She had a messy diaper and you wanted her to wait until morning to change?” “No, she didn’t need to shower.” “She always rinses it off herself when she changes.” “Oh,” said Aunt Gladys. “I didn’t want to wake anyone up so I had to clean myself up,” I cried. “Couldn’t you have used wipes or toilet paper?” Aunt Gladys asked. “You obviously have never dealt with adult messy diapers,” said Mom. “She just started changing them this year and it’s a huge mess on her bottom when she does it so it’s easier to wash off and we let her do it at home and a shower doesn’t wake anyone up.” “And you waited this long to have her do it on her own?” said Aunt Gladys. “Where did she put her dirty diaper, I hope she didn’t leave it in there again,” said Aunt Gladys. “We’ll take care of it if she did,” said Dad. I had myself covered with my pajamas so Dad wouldn’t see my private parts. I was still standing naked with no diaper on and I was hoping I wouldn’t pee on my pajamas but luckily I brought another pair. Matthew was still sleeping. He was lying tummy down and his head sideways and part of his body was off his mattress. He was still in his clothes. “You two need to be better parents,” said Aunt Gladys. “She left her mess in her tub this morning, left her diaper in there, tried taking a bunch of pieces of pie.” “I only took three,” I corrected. “Tried eating up all the M&Ms in our snack bowl and leaving the other nuts and peanuts and raisins and you two let her get away with things and let her have her way and even my own husband gave in.” “No we don’t let her get away with everything,” said Dad. “If she does something wrong, we correct her and talk to her about it.” “Well it obviously doesn’t work. If she was my child, she would be getting spanked and getting punished every time for her behavior and she wouldn’t be allowed to act the way she does and she would be a better person than she is now,” said Aunt Gladys. “You don’t have a fucking clue,” Mom said angrily. “I don’t need you telling me or my husband how to raise our children and telling us what horrible parents we are because we’re not slapping them around or punishing their disability out of them and besides, you have never raised kids and am so glad you never have.” “What I have noticed about children with disabilities is they’re spoiled and are allowed to get away with behavior and I have noticed more kids have disabilities these days when in fact they are just acting bratty and parents not knowing how to be a parent so they take them to doctors and they get labeled with a bullshit condition. Back when I was a kid, none of those existed and they were fixed with a spanking or a belt and always slapped and no one acted that way.” “Well that is not the way kids are raised today,” said Dad. “Exactly, that is why kids have disabilities now because people think kids shouldn’t be hit or slapped or screamed at and kids used to be seen, not heard. Kids were better behaved then and the ones who acted up got disciplined.” “We would like to get back to sleep,” said Dad. “We will take care of the mess in the bathroom and we will clean up any accidents she has on your floor and thanks for your wonderful opinion.” Dad shoed Aunt Gladys out of the basement as she kept on talking about how kids are today due to lack of discipline so they think they can do whatever they want. I heard someone upstairs. Aunt Gladys went up the stairs and I heard Grandma. “Natalie just woke me up with her midnight shower,” said Aunt Gladys. “She was just cleaning up a mess,” said Dad. Aunt Gladys went back to bed and I was standing there crying. Mom just hugged me. “Am I really spoiled?” I asked. “No,” said Mom. “She’s just ignorant.” “Do I really get away with stuff?” I asked. “No. Don’t listen to anything she said, it was all bull. Here’s let’s put these on you.” She turned my pajamas the right side out as Dad was coming back downstairs. I put them on and Dad said, “Natalie, we will take care of your mess in the tub and the wastebasket in the morning. That is what I told Gladys.” He crawled back in his bed and pulled the covered over him. Mom put a clean diaper on me and put my socks on. I crawled back in my bed as Mom turned the light off. She lied down next to me. “I used to like Gladys and now she has changed,” I said. “She has always been that way,” said Mom. “You just never noticed.” “Why?” I asked. “Maybe because you were younger and now you’re older, she has less patients and she expects you to be someone you’re not. She did the same to me and she always gave my mother armchair advice about how to raise me and discipline me and she did the same about Celeste.” “What do you mean by armchair advice?” “Giving out advice to people you know nothing about.” Wow, I wasn’t the only one who has had a hard time getting along with Gladys. I heard Dad sleeping again. Mom and I were under the covers. I still thought about what Aunt Gladys said. Would I really be normal if my parents punished me more and still spanked me? “Mom?” I said. “What,” she said. “Would I really be a normie if you and Dad still spanked me and punished me more often?” I asked. “She was full of it,” said Mom. “I said don’t listen to what she said. Can you spank mental retardation our of a child or punish ADHD out of someone so they will be normal? That is so absurd what she said. She was stupid. Can we punish incontinence out of you and spank it out of you?” “No,” I said. “That’s why it’s stupid.” I imagined Mom and Dad always punishing me and grounding me everyone I wet and mess myself and I never stop having them and they still continue to punish me thinking it will stop. I couldn’t imagine them doing that to me. I also couldn’t imagine them punishing me for not doing my school work on my own and not doing better with it. I also imagined them punishing Kelly for her spelling and not being able to read and not doing her school work because she found it too hard. Instead she ends up hating herself for having a hard time with reading and seeing letters and words because she was always being punished for her disability. I know a dyslexic kid won’t get better if they always get punished for it. I think it would be a child abuse to punish a kid for something they can’t help. I couldn’t imagine Gladys having children. She would probably keep punishing them for their disability and I wonder how she will react to bed wetting. I wonder what she thought of me wearing diapers. I found it hard to believe more kids have disabilities because I always see normal people and normal kids. If lot of kids were different, then there would be a bunch of them at my old school. I remember being surprised when I found out lot of people took medicine. I used to think I was the only one and one of the very few and then I felt more normal when I found out lot of people took it. Brian takes it too and he is normal. He always called them his happy pills because they kept him from being sad all the time and depressed and it was to help him be happier. I eventually fell asleep again. I was hoping I wouldn’t have another messy diaper at night here.
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Post by Bad Beth on Mar 4, 2014 20:12:08 GMT
Chapter 32
I woke up the next morning. It was the day after Thanksgiving. I remembered what had happened at night and it all felt like a dream but I knew it was all real. My diaper was wet again and it smelled like pee. Mom and Dad were out of bed and I heard talking upstairs. Matthew was still sleeping. I got out of bed and went upstairs to the bathroom to change. Kelly was sitting down in a chair watching TV and there was Dad, Grandpa, Uncle Nate, and Aunt Gladys visiting in the kitchen and dining room.
“Good Natalie is up,” said Nate.
“Natalie, you need to clean the mess out of the tub,” said Dad. “The same rules apply here too as they do at home.”
I went in the bathroom and I saw my diapers were gone. Someone must have taken them outside. That saved me the trip of walking out in the cold. I looked in the tub and didn’t see any mess so I changed and left the bathroom with my wet diaper. I was about to go outside but everyone stopped me. Dad told me to put something on like a pair of pants and I can’t go out in my pajamas.
“I did yesterday,” I said.
“Now today we are enforcing you to put something on,” said Dad.
“Why? You didn’t do this yesterday,” I said.
“Natalie.”
I just threw my diaper outside and closed the door again and frowned.
Dad sighed. “Just go outside and get your diaper and throw it away but don’t forget to put on your coat.”
I went outside and got my diaper and rushed to the trash cans and tossed it in there with the other diapers. I came back inside and took my shoes and coat off. I hung it on the coat rack and put my shoes aside.
Aunt Gladys and Dad were talking.
“Once she is allowed to do something, it’s hard to get her to not do it,” Dad was saying.
“So why did you let her in the first place?” Aunt Gladys asked.
“We didn’t pay attention because we were all busy visiting, I didn’t think to tell her to put something on so today it would have been tough so I just let her go out like that than fighting with her. We pick our battles”
I went to get some food but Aunt Gladys told me to wash my hands from handling my dirty diaper. I washed them at the kitchen sink where she showed me. Then I picked out some breakfast.
“Where is Aunt Elizabeth and Uncle Tom?” I asked.
“They left,” said Uncle Nate.
“Where’s Grandma and Mom?”
“They went out.”
“They’ll be back, Grandma Del said they had something important to take care of,” said Dad.
The house felt even emptier and quieter.
“I don’t care how long they will be gone for, it’s quieter here,” said Aunt Gladys to her husband.
“Where’s John?” I asked.
“In his room,” said Grandpa.
I knew he meant the room he is sleeping in.
I had some Cheerios with sugar and strawberries with nonfat milk.
I wondered what important business Mom and Grandma were taking care of.
Then the basement door opened and Matthew came in the kitchen still in his clothes from yesterday.
“Now our home will be a little chaotic again,” said Aunt Gladys.
“It’s not bad when they’re calm,” said Dad. “That is why they brought so much stuff and next time we’ll bring our own TV set and VCR.”
“They have that cable thing Dad we can buy that connects the Nintendo 64 directly into the TV set,” I said.
When Jordan and Jessyka brought theirs, their TV set had those color connector things in the TV so they were able to connect their cord into it without a VCR. But I saw in the instruction manual you can buy another one separately and it connects right into the TV just like the Super Nintendo and the Sega.
Matthew grabbed his mini box of Fruit Loops and poured them in a bowl and then he headed to the bathroom.
The kitchen had been cleaned up from yesterday and a bunch of pans and pits were laid on the counter next to the sink drying.
Gladys went into the bathroom again after Matthew was finished and then she came out when she was done saying, “Natalie, why didn’t you clean up the mess in the tub?”
“There wasn’t any,” I said.
“I see poop in there still, you did a poor job.”
“There was none when I looked,” I said.
“Where’s the mess?” Dad asked. “Show her.”
“I’ll show you Natalie when you’re done eating,” said Aunt Gladys.
I finished my cereal and put my bowl in the sink.
Skippy was in the living room chewing on a bone. He had it between his paws.
Aunt Gladys didn’t show me the mess in the tub so I figured she changed her mind. I went downstairs and played GoldenEye again. I could hear John upstairs finally. I later heard Grandma and Mom come home. I heard more talking.
Then Gladys came in the basement. “Natalie, clean the mess out of the tub now,” she ordered.
I turned the game off and she kept scolding me. “You need to be considerate in other people’s homes, not be so selfish. You don’t ever leave your mess in the bathroom.”
We went upstairs to the bathroom and she showed me the mess. It was around the drain and it was real tiny and there were small pieces of it and it was all near the drain.
“That’s it?” I said. “All that will just wash down.”
“Clean it, don’t get smart with me,” she said.
“How was I being smart?” I asked.
“You said it will just wash down.”
“But how was that smart?”
“Do your mom and dad also let you talk to them this way?”
“I guess,” I said.
I couldn’t see how they would get mad at me for it if I asked them this too.
“They let you get away with lot of stuff, they spoil you bad. Clean it up,” she said and left the bathroom.
I started to clean out the tub. I turned on the faucet and had water run on the drain and I turned it off expecting the poop to go down. I made sure it all washed down and I used my hands for it. I would fill my hands up with water and splash it over the tiny poop that was hard to see. After it was all washed down I turned the water off and washed my hands. I left the bathroom and I didn’t see Matthew anywhere or Skippy or Mom and Grandma. I just looked in the spare bedrooms seeing how empty they were and then I opened the last one and got an unpleasant surprise. Mom and Grandma were in there and Mom was lying on the bed with Grandma standing in front of her with a diaper in her hand. I closed the door quick and I felt so embarrassed. Now I had that thought in my head and I felt creeped out with it. I walked away fast.
“What’s wrong Natalie?” Kelly asked in the living room.
“Nothing,” I lied.
“It looked like something was wrong, you had that look on your face.”
“I’m fine,” I said.
I raced to the basement. I played my game more to keep my mind off what I saw. Why do I always end up in these situations? I once thought I caught my parents having sex but they weren’t having it, I caught my dad drinking when he said he would quit, I overheard him and Brian talking once and I found out Dad cheated on Mom while he was drunk and he had no memory of having sex with his coworker because he was so drunk.
Then Grandma came in the basement. I ignored her and continued playing. I wondered if she was going to yell at me for not knocking. I felt stupid again and bad. I wish all doors had locks on them. That would make it a lot easier for me. Mom and Dad always lock their door but they didn’t once so I thought I caught them having sex when I saw Dad was on top of her holding her down and she had no pants on but Dad did but he didn’t have a shirt on.
Grandma had a plastic bag in her hand and she took out a small pack.
“I bought you these for the smell,” said Grandma showing me the odor pills. “Your mom was telling me how you ran out and the store in your town had run out and you were so worried about stinking so I bought a pack for them. Oh I was also helping your mom out when you walked in.”
“Helping her?” I asked. “She can do it herself. What did she need help with it for?”
“I know that, I haven’t put them on her since she was eighteen and I did it out of love because she is my daughter, you know my little girl.”
“She’s not little,” I said.
“I mean she will always be my little girl no matter how old she gets. I still see her as my baby.”
“Why?”
“I guess it’s something you won’t understand until you have kids. Then you will get what I mean.”
“I guess you’re never too old to get your diaper changed,” I said.
“It was only for this one time but I could do it more often if she wanted me to so she wouldn’t have to do it.”
“Why did you put diapers on her and never had her put them on herself when she was my age?”
“She couldn’t do it herself. She would have gotten too frustrated and she wanted them to be just right and wouldn’t have been comfortable in them and would not have slept well and we all would have suffered.”
“Why?”
“She wouldn’t have slept and she would have been irritable and cranky and have more behavior problems and she would have had a big fit over not being able to get them on right. They only had pins then, they didn’t have any adult disposables and disposables were expensive then so I didn’t buy any for her when she was little and I am not sure if they would have fit.”
“Where did you get her diapers?” I asked.
“In catalogues. I remember ordering from the Sears book and they had incontinent and bed wetting products.”
“How come she wanted them right?”
“She liked them tight on her, she didn’t like them loose and she had a hard time with the pins.”
“Why?”
“She had issues with motor skills, she couldn’t tie her shoes either when she was a kid and zip up her jacket and she also couldn’t ride a bike. She didn’t have very good coordination either. That was another issue she had growing up and she was in therapy for it.”
“Why did she have those problems?”
“We all figured it was due to brain damage and mental retardation we thought she had. Then we find out she wasn’t retarded but she still had problems and we didn’t know what they were and they said she just had learning issues and problems with her motor skills they didn’t know what she had. One doctor said she was a schizophrenic but that never seemed to fit because she wasn’t crazy. She was very hard to manage.”
“How?”
“She had outbursts and would throw things or hit and she once broke a window from slamming the back door so hard or slammed Bridgett into one of the door frames and she hit her head on it. She once threw her plate of food on the floor during dinner when she was in sixth grade and I tried to have her pick it up only to have her smear it around and throw it.”
“Why?”
“She told me later in life she did those things because she didn’t know how to communicate her feelings and know how to express them so she showed them and I used to hit her back when she would hit me only to have her hit me some more and then I was very afraid of her when she nearly killed your uncle because I then knew she could kill me and really hurt me so I sent her away and she was gone for half the year. Then I had to send her back when she tried to attempt suicide in our garage.”
“Mom tried to kill herself?” I was shocked.
“She never told you? She did, she had a rope around her neck and was standing on a chair when your Aunt Bridgett caught her and she grabbed her legs to keep her from choking and screamed for us and I sent her back so she wouldn’t kill herself and she never tried attempting it again.”
I couldn’t believe Mom had once tried to kill herself. If it weren’t for my aunt catching her, Mom would have died and I would have never existed.
“So Mom was hard work because she was violent?” I asked.
“That and she was hard to get up for school, it would take me two hours to get her ready and at your age she still couldn’t get herself ready for school. It was a matter of getting her to stop and go to the next thing to get ready for school and Bridgett could get herself up and ready for school since she was seven but your mother never got herself ready.”
“Did you send her to school with bad breath and messy hair or send her in her pajamas?” I asked.
“That didn’t work, all it did was made things worse for her at school, tough love didn’t work so I had to do everything for her and keep working with her to get ready. Also she would forget to do simple tasks like if I had her do laundry, she would forget the soap or if she emptied out the trash, she would forget to put in a new bag, one time I had her use the stove and she forgot to turn it off so when your Uncle Robert set his hand on the burner, he burned his hand the little kids thought it was funny because of his reaction to the pain.”
“What little kids?”
“Uncle Sam, Aunt Caitlin, Aunt Jane, your cousins Mack and Kent, I always had to remind her of each task.”
“Why did they think it was funny?”
“Kids lack empathy so they laugh at people getting hurt. They’re brains aren’t that far developed. That’s why kids are mean. Even your mom didn’t seem to care when I told her her brother burned his hand on the stove because she didn’t turn off the burner.”
“Did she laugh?”
“No, she just didn’t have a reaction when I told her. When I asked her what did she thought, she said he burned his hand and then I said “and” and she didn’t say anything else and I asked her why did her brother burn his hand and she said she didn’t turn off the stove and I asked her why and she said she didn’t know.”
“So Mom could answer questions then, my dad said she couldn’t,” I said.
“Well that depends, she didn’t show any remorse or any sign she felt bad, didn’t ask if he was okay or if he will be alright. When I asked her how did she feel about it, she said she didn’t know. I asked if she cared about what happened and she said she didn’t know. But trying to ask her more about it like how can she not know was getting her frustrated so I stopped. But later on she said to him why did he put his hand on the stove, hands don’t go on stoves, pots and pans do so it was his fault he burned his hand. Hands don’t go on stoves. Even your mom had no empathy. She didn’t care and was not concerned about anyone but herself.”
“Wow, she sounded horrible then, good thing she isn’t like that anymore. I would hate to have that kind of mother,” I said.
“Well you’re her daughter so it’s instinct to care about your kids, part of Mother Nature. It’s instinct, it’s how babies survive and grow up and have their own babies. Your mom had that. I’m sure her having kids got her to do more simple tasks like turning off the stove so you kids wouldn’t burn yourselves. I noticed the similarities between your mother and Aunt Celeste but she wasn’t as bad as your mother. I knew there was something different about your aunt when she was around two but I didn’t put much thought into it.”
“Why?”
“Because she was two and I just thought she was stubborn and she had her terrible twos and her tantrums but she couldn’t tolerate certain fabrics on her skin and she hated being touched or held and she covered her ears to some sounds and she didn’t seem too interested in other kids so I just thought she would catch up, she was young and every kid is different. But the older she got, the more I noticed there was something different. I took her to doctors and they said she had ADD, a learning disability, sensory disorder, dyspraxia, social issues, there was one teacher that said she had some autistic traits and was probably mildly autistic but we didn’t get that checked out because we didn’t know anything about it and it was the eighties so it would have come back as negative. But her struggles continued and she quit going to school because of all the harassment she was getting so I homeschooled her. I probably should have done that with your mother but I was busy. I couldn’t do it with little kids to take care of and I had to take care of the house. But by the time Aunt Celeste, Uncle Sam, Aunt Jane and Caitlin were kids, things were made easier by then for parents such as for cooking. We didn’t have to make from scratch anymore and I didn’t have Uncle John living with us anymore so it made it a lot easier for me. Things were different in the eighties and early nineties compared to the nineteen fifties and sixties when I raised your mother and your aunts and uncles. Plus I didn’t have to cook as many since I had less kids living at home because they were all grown and had moved on with their lives. It’s funny how I raised kids for five decades because your oldest Aunt was twenty three when I had my last child and that was how far apart they were and your mom was seventeen years apart from her. Now I am finally done raising kids. If I hadn’t have gotten my tubes tied, I probably still would have been raisin them.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, if I had kids in the nineteen eighties I would still be raising them and I would have been an old ma. I was fifty when you were born. I didn’t want to be having kids in my fifties or forties. I was already a grandma.”
“Why didn’t you get your tubes tied before?”
“I don’t know, I was stupid for not having it done sooner.”
“How did you afford all those kids?”
“I managed. I used hand me downs, didn’t get many presents for each kid, I used cloth diapers, I hung up laundry to dry instead of drying them, saved every penny I could, plus my kids were twenty three years apart so not all of them were still living at home when I had them all just remember that. In the nineteen eighties, I was only raising Uncle Sam, Aunt Caitlin, Jane, and Celeste so that was four kids I was supporting there. Then Sam went off to college so it was just them three and then Aunt Caitlin went off too and so did Jane and then it was only Celeste. So it wasn’t bad.”
“But what about the sixties and seventies?”
“I didn’t have all ten kids then. Plus your Aunt Elizabeth was working and making her own money so she bought her own things and her boyfriend had a car. Having more kids isn’t that much expensive.”
“Yes it is because you then have to buy more food, pay for more water you use, more electricity you use, more money to spend when you go to restaurants or movies or places.”
“Well you just don’t go to them then,” said Grandma. “If you can’t afford it, don’t go.”
“Plus don’t forget more presents you have to buy for Christmas and birthdays and don’t forget Easter.”
“Each kid had their own basket and I only bought two presents for each kid but when we got more money, the younger kids got more presents because we didn’t have many kids to buy for.”
“What about grand kids?”
“We didn’t have as many grandkids then and they each got one present, plus you don’t need to buy expensive things.”
“I still think having more kids is expensive and you have to be rich to have more,” I said.
Grandma laughed. “I certainly wasn’t rich and I had ten kids. Back in the days it wasn’t uncommon to have that many kids because they didn’t have birth control then and people had more kids to help them in the fields because back then, they had to grow their own food and cook so they had to take care of their land.”
“When was that?”
“Eighteen hundreds. Lot of kids also didn’t go to school either and it wasn’t even required to go so there were lot of people who never went to school or finished it. Now things are a lot different.”
“Did Aunt Celeste wet her pants too like Mom and wet the bed?”
“Heavens no, she quit wetting the bed when she was six and she has always hated being wet and messy so she always made it to the bathroom like everyone else but your mother on the other hand would wet her pants and it would happen at least once a day. I tried tough love with her and it never worked. I could never get her to go soon enough and I would put diapers on her and tell her to keep them dry or she is wearing them longer if she gets them wet and to come and get me when she needs to go. Instead she was coming to me every ten or fifteen minutes to have me take them off so she can go and I realized what she was doing and wouldn’t take them off her again so I told her she just went and to come back in two hours.”
“What was she doing?”
“Trying to make it all hard for me so I wouldn’t do the punishment anymore but I turned it around and told her to come back in two hours. Another time she had me take her diapers off her so she could go to the bathroom and she just stayed in there and when I went to check on her, she was staying on the toilet the whole time while she was reading or drawing. Clever girl she was so I turned it around on her and gave her a time limit to be in there so she couldn’t stay in there all day long to avoid diapers. Then she wet her pants in school one time and she called me and told me she come get her and asked her why and she said she wet her pants and I told her I was not going to pick her up and she stays in school and she can stay in her wet pants so she will remember to go sooner next time. All she did was hid for the rest of the day until school ended.”
“She didn’t do it on purpose,” I said. “She told me she hated it too and she could never sense when she had to go until it was too late and once she put herself on a potty schedule, it worked.”
“I realize that now,” said Grandma. “I’ve apologized to her about it already, I don’t know what else I can do to make her forgive me and move on. I think she inherited that from her father, holding grudges. My ex-husband was a grudge holder. He was still mad at someone from when he was six for something that kid did to him. He was also absent minded and would forget to do simple things too and shut the whole world out and just do his thing. He was married to his work and turned it into a career for himself and would still do it after he would be done working, it was his interest, his obsession. I don’t think he was a true normie either but sadly things didn’t work out for us. They did at first and then we grew apart.”
“How?”
“Things changed between us. I had your mother and John and he didn’t like having them so it caused problems between us and we always fought and he couldn’t handle having them and he wanted them in an institution and I didn’t. He didn’t like how most of my attention was to your mother and he thought I was wasting my time with her taking her doctor to doctor trying to get her help and he didn’t like how she bit one of our neighbor’s nose and making it bleed and he never wanted to come back again and he said she was a piranha. He would escape to his work to escape his issues so that meant I was alone with the kids. Then I had your uncle and he didn’t like having another abnormal child living at home and it was too much for him so he left me finally. He said he didn’t want to live this way and it was either him or the kids and I picked them so we separated and divorced. Now your mother won’t even speak to him and wants nothing to do with him but I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t be mad at their parent and be able to forgive them easily if they walked out on them as a child so it’s pretty normal how your mom feels. Most people I have known with divorced parents with dads that walked out on them and had nothing to do with them didn’t want to even see them and some others were not interested in getting to know their dads or their moms or even cared where they were.”
“Why?”
“Would you want to see your Dad if he walked out on your mother and left her alone to take care of all you kids?” Grandma asked.
I shrugged. I think I would still want to see him. But I didn’t think he would actually leave us behind. He would still want to see us. I could remember in The Babysitters Club, Kristy Thomas still wanted to see her dad whenever he appeared in town and he walked out on them when David Michael was a baby and he never talked to them or even saw them except send them a card occasionally. I think he was a jerk for what he did. Dad said some people just don’t want to be parents anymore so they walk out. I once had a weird dream about Mom disappearing one day from home and she never comes home and not the next day so Dad calls the police and she is found and it turned out she moved out because she didn’t want to be a mom anymore so she left us. Dad was then single and he brought home some woman he met but she was mean because she took away my video games and computer and she wouldn’t let me watch my TV shows and she would punish me every time I would have a tantrum for not getting my way and she got mad at me for anything like if I talked too loud or ate too much of something or interrupted or leaving when I am done talking and leaving for thinking she was done talking and it would turn out she wasn’t done and she was always calling me selfish and it was always wrong for me to get upset and telling me I only care about myself and never think of anyone else but me and I could never say anything right. I also could never please her. She was so strict and so tough I missed my mother and felt angry at her for leaving us. Even Matthew had problems with her too but Kelly did fine with her. Dad didn’t even care because he said she was in charge when he is gone. If Matthew and I threw a tantrum for not being able to have our way we would both get in trouble and she decided we had to earn our TV computer and video games and we had to earn our obsessions she also decided to take away because she wanted us to do other things and find other things to talk about. Every time I would do something too much, she would take it away telling me to find something else to do instead of that only. It made me mad and I started to see no point in doing something if it will get taken away so I would just hide in my room and she hated that too because she didn’t like me being anti-social. Anything she tried to take from me I would fight to keep her from taking it and I was tall as her so I would hit her and push her and pull her clothes and spit and that would get her real angry but she would wait until I was at school to take it from me. Dad would get mad at me for being disrespectful to her because he didn’t like me fighting her psychically and threatened to have me get charged with assault if I do it again. She also gave me thin diapers to wear so I would change more often and sent me to school that way too and Dad still didn’t care and I always had leaks whenever I heavily peed in them so other kids saw my wet spots on my clothes. She still didn’t care and kept telling me to change sooner but she wouldn’t listen when I would tell her they always leak after one pee and I need good diapers, not thin ones. Dad came home with a pack of pads that go in diapers for more absorbency and gave them to me to use. They worked better but I still hated the diapers and I was going through so many of them including the diapers and she still didn’t care how often she had to buy them. Dad thought she was good and tougher than our mother. But Kelly loved her and said she was a mom she never had. They got along great while Matthew and I didn’t. Then I was so happy when I woke up because it was all a dream and Mom came in my room to get me up for school and I was so glad she was still here I hugged her and she didn’t know why I was acting funny. I told her about the dream I had and she told me she would never abandon us. She said the dream I had was actually called a nightmare.
Grandma and I talked more and I pooped in my diaper again. It felt like another big load and I felt it spreading around in the middle and back. Grandma sniffed her nose. “Did you do a doo doo in your pants?” she said waving her hand in the air.
For some reason I found it funny. I have heard people say it about little kids messing their diapers before they’re potty trained. I have always liked the sound of the word doo doo whenever I heard it.
“Did you?” Grandma asked again.
“Yes,” I said.
“Time for a diaper change then,” she said.
I talked more about my real grandfather learning more about him asking her questions. Grandma thought he was more of a un normie than her. He would throw a fit if she moved his stuff without asking or telling him. He would just yell and scream and be very angry and he would get very upset if anyone got his order wrong when they ate out. I pictured a grown guy acting like a child at a table in the restaurant in front of his wife and kids and he is kicking and screaming and pounding his fists on the table with silverware in his hand because they forgot to put pickles on his hamburger.
“I would just tell him ‘oh for pete’s sake, just tell them they forgot the ketchup and they will bring you the bottle and you can pour some on your fries,’” Grandma was saying. “He was short tempered and made a big deal out of little things and get upset over it. I think he had a little Asperger’s in him but yet he couldn’t handle your mother or your uncle so he left us finally and I already knew Phillip so we dated and got married.”
Then Grandma decided she wanted to change me because I was smelly and messy. She looked for the supplies. She found the underpads and the wipes and saw my diapers. I didn’t feel uncomfortable having her do it because she had done it before. She laid the underpad on the floor and I lied on top of it and I pulled my pants down and lifted my shirt up. Grandma just pulled my pants all the way off and put them aside and undid my diaper and said “This must be leftovers from Thanksgiving.”
She cleaned me up and took the dirty diaper away and unfolded the clean one and put it under me and I set myself on top of it.
“That was a lot of wipes I used,” she said. “You family must go through tons of wipes.”
“I wash it off,” I said. “So we don’t even need to use them.”
Grandma put the diaper on me and I put my pants back on. I saw the big mess I did in my diaper that was lying on the floor. It had a bunch of dirty wipes in there too she used on me. Grandma wiped her hands with the clean wipe instead of washing her hands.
“I can’t believe you changed me,” I said.
“Why? I have done it before and I already changed two other diapers in this house.”
Uncle John only wears them at night.
“But yours was the only messy one I had to change,” said Grandma. “The rest were just wet.”
“When are you going home?” I asked.
“Either today or tomorrow,” said Grandma.
We then heard some chaos upstairs and Mom yelling. “Don’t talk to my kid that way.”
We heard other commotion up there and Dad talking too. “You didn’t need to pull her hair,” it sounded like he said.
Then Dad and Grandpa were shouting, “Anita” and then Dad saying “here take Skippy out for a walk with Matthew.”
“What’s going on up there?” I asked.
“Sounds like your mother had one of her episodes and something upset her,” said Grandma.
I heard Mom shouting and then Dad saying, “Come with me.”
I also heard Gladys talking.
“You deserved it, I could have just let her continue pulling your hair and being aggressive,” Dad shouted. “Talking to him that way. You don’t talk to a kid that way.”
“I’m going to see what’s going on up there,” said Grandma getting up.
She went upstairs and I followed after her. I went upstairs and saw Kelly was still on the couch and Mom and Matthew were nowhere in sight and there was Dad and Grandpa and Uncle Nate and Aunt Gladys and Uncle John sitting on a chair starring and moving his head.
“What happened?” I asked.
“What was the commotion about?” Grandma asked.
“Mom pulled her hair,” said Kelly.
“Whose hair?” I asked.
“Gladys’s and she just grabbed it hard and yanked it pulling her head back and started yelling at her.”
“Why?” I asked again.
“Matthew was being annoying again and Gladys started to yell at him telling him how selfish he is and self-centered and stuff and Mom got mad at grabbed her hair.”
“Anita yanked Gladys’s hair hard full force,” said Grandpa to Grandma. “Someone needed the nerve to do it and it’s her we can count on.”
I didn’t know what was going on.
“Gladys, just stay out of their hair,” Uncle Nate told his wife. “They will be out of here by tomorrow.”
“They’re saying I deserved it,” she said.
There was more talking and then Dad said to Gladys angrily. “Next time I should just let her do it and not pull her off and just watch her put up a fight with anyone who pulls her off if you’re going to sprout your ignorance and talk to one of our kids that way.”
“Well that’s just great, someone will just charge her with assault if she does it to someone else,” said Gladys. “She’s lucky I’m not calling any cops to have her charged.”
Dad just laughed. “I don’t know how many times I have wanted to say things or slap someone and my wife does it for me. That’s when I am happy to have a wife that is different.”
I don’t get it, Mom always saying violence isn’t the answer or fighting but yet she will sometimes get aggressive and Dad sometimes has to hold her down when she gets psychical with him. But she has never been psychical with Matthew Kelly or I and Brian but she has thrown things and slammed things and broken a few things. She also hates it when Dad rages too and they sometimes throw things at each other. But I got in trouble for throwing one of Veronica’s crutches at my old school or the time I got suspended for a week for getting in a fight with her.
“Someday she is going to get herself arrested,” said Gladys. “They won’t care if she has kids and a family and that she has problems. You all think this is okay so you let her get away with it for so long?”
“And you don’t think we have ever tried working through that?” Dad asked.
“God you assume the worst, Gladys,” said Grandma. “I didn’t let her get away with anything, I just couldn’t teach away all her problems or punish them out of her. You think a disability can be punished out of them, that’s idiotic.”
There was more arguing and then Grandma said to Gladys she is her worst sister in law and she can’t believe her brother in law would marry someone so idiotic.
Now I know married wives of one husband’s brother is also a sister in law.
“Someone needs to walk Skippy,” said Dad. “Kelly do you want to do it?”
“I’m watching this,” said Kelly.
She was watching something on TV I didn’t recognize. It said LMN at the bottom corner of the screen.
“Natalie,” said Dad.
“I’m playing my game,” I said.
I thought Mom was going to do it.
“You do it, it’s your dog,” said Grandma. “You could use the work out.”
“I walked him this morning,” said Dad.
He walked in one of the bedrooms and I heard him telling Mom and Matthew to walk Skippy. Then he said “I walked him this morning when you and your mum were gone. I’m not doing it again.”
I went back to the basement and played my game more.
* * *
Later in the day, Grandma took Kelly, Matthew, and I out. Mom and Dad stayed behind and so did Uncle John and Grandpa. I wanted to see 102 Dalmatians so we were all going to the movie theater that was on the other side of town. It looked like a brand new theater. Grandma drove by to see what was playing.
“Ooo How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” said Kelly. “Let’s see it.”
“No I wanted to see 102 Dalmatians,” I said.
Grandma read all the movie titles. “Meet the Parents, Bounce, Little Nicky, The Grinch, 102 Dalmatians, Rugrats, Unbreakable, Charlie’s Angels, Men of Honor..” she read the rest the of titles. Couple of the titles were duplicates showing different show times. Matthew couldn’t decide between The Grinch and Rugrats in Paris. My mind was already made up and so was Kelly’s.
Kelly and I argued about what movie we wanted to see and Grandma decided we all go see our own movie because we’re old enough to be in the theater alone and we know to wait for everyone else in the lobby if our movie finishes before theirs. Matthew finally decided on seeing Little Nicky and Grandma decided she will see it with him. She parked her car and we all got out and waited in line and got the tickets. Our movies wouldn’t start for the next half hour and forty five minutes so Grandma took us across the street to the grocery store to get some candy. Grandma parked her car and we all got out and went inside. We went to the candy section and started to pick out some candy. Grandma showed us what candy we could get. They also had a sale too so it allowed us to pick more than we needed. I picked a pack of red vines, a pack of gummy worms, and Starburst. Kelly and Matthew picked out some candy too and we headed to the checkout. Matthew and Kelly grabbed a drink from the fridge at one of the checkouts. I picked one out too and it was just some flavored water. I saw the express checkout and the limit was 15 items this time. Grandma had also picked out a drink to have for the movie and she had to count how many items we had first before going in the express checkout. We were one item over.
“We can’t go to the checkout, we have to go to a normal one,” said Grandma.
“It’s only one item,” said Kelly.
“But we still have one too many,” Grandma pointed out.
“Let’s just do it, it’s only one item over,” said Kelly.
“We have too much,” said Matthew. “The sign says fifteen.”
“We can pick which candy to take back so we can use the checkout,” said Grandma. “Who got the most?”
I only had four items and Matthew had a bunch of candy and a drink. Grandma only had a drink in her arm. Kelly only had two and a drink.
Matthew just hugged his candy.
“Okay, we’ll go to the regular check out,” said Grandma.
“You remind me of Mom,” Kelly whined.
“Why? It only says fifteen items and we have sixteen. Rules are rules. We must be courteous to other customers.”
“It’s only one item over,” Kelly protested.
“What if you gave us each cash for our candy and then we can all pay for them separately and we will all have less than fifteen items,” said Matthew.
“Very good idea Matthew, we can all pay for our stuff by ourselves,” said Grandma.
She opened her wallet and looked at her cash. “Okay, I have this twenty dollar bill and I will give it to whoever is first in line and then you will hand the change to the next person behind you and pay for your stuff and hand the change to the next person behind you.”
We all got in line and Grandma handed the money to Kelly since she was first. She had the divider out and had it on the rubber thing. Matthew set his down too and I grabbed the other divider and set it on the counter and put my candy and drink on it too.
When Kelly’s turn came, the cashier scanned her candy and drink and told her the total. Kelly handed her the twenty dollar bill. She took it and gave her change and Kelly handed it to Matthew. Kelly grabbed the bag with her stuff in it and waited. The cashier scanned his candy and drink and told him the total and he set all the change on the counter and counted through it. He handed the cashier the correct amount and handed me the change.
After we all paid for our stuff, we headed out to the car. We hid our candy in my backpack.
We got back to the theater and parked again and went inside. Grandma let us get popcorn and Kelly and I got our own and Granma got hers for her and Matthew to share. Then we waited in line and handed our tickets to the person and he ripped them and told us which way the movie is. We walked away and waited until we were out of the guy’s sight before I opened my backpack and handed everyone their stuff. Then we headed to our movie. I went to mine and found a seat and I realized I better change my diaper before the movie started so I wouldn’t have to do it during the movie. I left the auditorium and headed to the restrooms and changed in the handicapped stall. I wanted lot of room so I wouldn’t have to put my popcorn next to the toilet or even spill it. I threw my diaper away and washed my hands and went back to the auditorium but my seat got taken so I had to find another seat. I was closer to the screen this time. I started to eat my popcorn. I looked at the ads on the screen. I didn’t see any of those ads telling us to applause if we do something. I remember those when I was little. One of them was “applause if you write your name in your underwear.” I remember that one and Kelly started clapping and Dad asked “You write your name in your underwear? I didn’t know that” and she stopped clapping. I couldn’t imagine one saying “applause if you still wear diapers.”
I ate my popcorn and I was halfway finished with it when the lights dimmed and the previews started. They played previews for movies that wouldn’t come out until 2001 after my birthday. Spy Kids looked interesting and Shrek. Shrek wouldn’t come out until the end of the school year. They also played previews about movies that would be coming out next month which was the Emperor’s New Groove.
Soon, all the movie previews were done playing and the screen was blank and then the movie started. I noticed Atomic Dog was playing for the beginning showing who is in the movie and who the producers are and the director but it was a different version because there were different words to the song and it plated differently. It had more music to it too than the other one.
I watched enjoyed the move and I felt sad for Oddball because she was different than the other dogs and I knew how she felt when she realized she had no spots so she gets obsessed with them and tries to get spots like her siblings and parents. It just reminded me how I feel about being different. I also liked Ella better than Cruella but I thought Chloe was a dumb blonde. I didn’t like how she treated her and I bet she was so happy when Cruella returned and Ella left thanks to Big Ben and it undid Dr. Pavlov’s treatment. But I thought it was unfair the rest of her money went to the dogs because it wasn’t her fault her cure went away because of the clock and she still got punished for it. But I didn’t like the end. The movie ended and it played that same song again from the beginning of the movie. I took my trash with me and threw it away in the garbage and sat in the lobby. My diaper was wet but not too bad. I looked at the floor and the designs in the walls and counters and saw feet go by. I wondered when the rest would get out. Then Kelly came out and started telling me about The Grinch.
“You should have seen the movie with me, it had Jim Carrey and he played the Grinch”
“I know,” I said.
“I thought it was better than the cartoon and it explained why he hated Christmas.”
“Why did he hate it?” I asked.
“Well you should have seen the movie and you would know and it also showed why the Whose didn’t care Grinch stole Christmas.”
“Why can’t you tell me?” I asked.
“I don’t spoil movies,” said Kelly.
“Well I’m wanting to know,” I said. “So tell me.”
“See the movie.”
“I don’t have any money.”
“I meant later, not now. So how was your movie?”
“Most of it was filmed in London and they filmed little of it in Paris and the prison Cruella was in was actually filmed at the abandoned prison and Alonzo was in it and he was in most of the movie. In the first one he was only in two parts of it. Dipstick was the only dog that was in it from the first one but I know it was a different dog that played him. They also had De Vil spelled differently in the second one than in the first one and instead of D-E and then Vil, they had D-E-V and then IL.”
“I asked how was the movie, not ask for any trivia,” Kelly interrupted.
“Oddball got obsessed with spots because she noticed she was the only one without them so she goes to the copier machine to roll on the black ink that is on a piece of paper and the guy working with the copier machine lifts the thing up and out the window she goes and Domino and Little Dipper go out the window too with her and then Big Ben strikes and Chloe closes the window and Cruella sees the puppies and she says “I’m seeing spots” and Chloe turns around and looks and opens the window and brings the puppies back inside and she sees Oddball on the gutter and asks her boss to grab her legs so she could save her so she grabs her and tosses her on her back and she slides on her desk and into Cruella’s arms. While the window was open, the sound from Big Ben made Cruella come back and Ella was gone. Ella was the name she wanted to go by because Cruella sounded cruel to her so she decided to go by Ella but when Big Ben struck, she was back to her old self and her hair went up in the air and it was back to her old hair and she decided she was Cruella and not Ella anymore.”
“I asked how the movie was, was it good or not?” Kelly asked again sounding mad.
“It was good,” I said.
“Okay, that’s all I asked.”
“Cruella leaves the building where she sees her probation officer which is Chloe and she sees spots on people and cars and buildings and even Alonzo was covered in spots and so was her car,” I said. “Then she goes home and has Alonzo open up the room again where she threw all her fur in and had it locked away and she was glad to be back as her old self. They also had the Cruella De Vil song in there again but it was a different version because it had different words to it. They also did the Twilight bark when Le Pelt, Cruella’s old friend, comes and kidnaps Chloe’s puppies so Oddball barks out the window to send the message.”
“I hope this won’t be your new obsession,” said Kelly. “Then I would have to hear you talk about it all the time and see you fill your room up with dogs and then you would want a Dalmatian and then be like my math teacher.”
“At least you won’t hear about James Bond anymore,” I said. “Or hear the game or the music or ever worry about my room getting filled with it when I get my own job and go on ebay.”
“I bet you will spend all your money on it,” said Kelly.
“So,” I said. “In the movie, the person who played Chloe has the same last name as us. Alice Evans.”
“It’s a common name,” said Kelly. “So you will see people unrelated to us with the same name as ours and it’s more common where Dad is from. I am looking forward to changing my surname when I get married.”
“Why?” I asked.
“It’s too common, too many Evans. In first grade a girl my class also had that name. One of my friends hates her first name because there are too many Jessicas.”
“Internet Movie Database says Ioan Gruffudd who played Kevin played in Titanic but I don’t recognize him anywhere in the movie. Kevin takes Chloe out on a date and they eat at a restaurant called Tony’s and they have spaghetti and they did a scene from Lady and the Tramp and it showed Oddball and her brother and sister watching it and all the other dogs Kevin keeps at his animal shelter and they are watching the movie and it shows that scene and it showed Chloe and Kevin having the same scene too. I thought the ending sucked though because it shows Chloe being at the shelter with Kevin and Alonzo arrives in Cruella’s car and he hands Kevin a check with eight million pounds and then there is Oddball on the building and she slides out and into Chloe’s arms and she is covered in ink so Chloe tries to wipe it off but one of the spots won’t come off because she had gotten her first spot finally and then the movie ends.”
“Maybe there will be a sequel,” said Kelly.
“Then it will be 103 Dalmatians. I wonder how Chloe got Dipstick anyway. He was Roger and Anita’s dog and now Chloe had him.”
“Maybe she adopted him from them,” said Kelly.
“I bet they had too many dogs so they decided to get rid of them so they had people come and adopt them,” I said.
I kept talking about the movie and Kelly finally told me she has heard enough of it and sorry she ever asked because I never shut up when I get into something.
“You told me about the movie you saw,” I pointed out.
“I didn’t go on and on about it spoiling it like you are for me.”
“You could have told me you didn’t want to know about it,” I said. “If you didn’t want it spoiled.”
Kelly sighed.
I sighed too copying her.
“Natalie the movie spoiler, never ask her about a movie she saw,” said Kelly.
I laughed.
“It’s not funny, it’s annoying. I bet you have ruined lot of movies for people.”
“Nuh uh or they would have told me they didn’t want to know about it,” I said.
I walked around the lobby and Kelly told me to walk over there pointing to the spot so I moved there and walked around while her back was turned. Then I saw Matthew and Grandma come out. I was happy their movie was finally over. Grandma found us. “How was your movie, girls?” she asked.
“Most of 102 Dalmatians was filmed in London while in the first one, most of it was filmed out in the countryside or in the Shepperton Studio,” I said.
“I thought mine was better than the cartoon,” said Kelly.
Matthew told us about the movie they saw and I told him and Grandma about my movie.
Kelly sighed again.
“It’s okay,” said Grandma.
“They go on and on spoiling them for other people,” said Kelly.
“It’s okay, I don’t care to hear about your movie or hers.”
Grandma threw some trash away and we went out to the car. I kept telling her about the movie while Matthew was talking about his.
“I don’t care about your stupid movie,” Kelly shouted at Matthew covering her ears.
“She’s cranky,” said Matthew.
“It must be her time of the month,” said Grandma. “Are you on your period Kelly?”
Kelly sighed again and stomped her foot on the ground.
“Are you?” Grandma asked again. “You’re sure grumpy.”
“Thanks for embarrassing me,” said Kelly.
“Oh sorry, I should have waited until we got in the car,” said Grandma. “I haven’t had any kids your age in a long time so I sometimes forget what adolescents are like.”
We got in her car and buckled up. We waited on Matthew. He buckled up and kept it loose. We headed back to Uncle Nate’s. It was dark out. We headed back without using the freeway.
“Cruella was a nice woman than evil,” I was saying. “Then when Big Ben struck, it brought back the real Cruella and she was no longer Ella so she goes back to dognapping and tries to make her fur coat but I didn’t think it was fair her money had to go to the dogs because it wasn’t her fault what happened, the clock made her go back to her old self and the therapy she got wore off because of that clock.”
“She should have gone back to her doctor,” said Grandma. “No excuses. If she knew she was back and the new her was gone, she should have gone back for treatment and tell them Cruella is back and the clock undid the treatment but because she didn’t, her money went to the dogs.”
Kelly got mad we were talking about our movies again and Grandma told her it was fine and she didn’t have to listen.
“You like her spoiling movies for you?” Kelly asked.
“I don’t mind it,” said Grandma. “You’re sure a strange child.”
“Why am I strange?”
“Because you have a problem with your brother and sister talking about the movies they saw.”
“So that makes me strange?” Kelly cried.
“Yep,” I said. “You’re an un normie now.”
Grandma laughed. “I guess we’re all normies now and Kelly isn’t. She is the only normie one in this car so she would be the un normie now.”
I felt good to be normal now but I knew I would go back to being un normal again when I go back to school. Kelly just sat back in her seat and sighed.
When we got back, Grandma parked her car in the street and we all got out and went back inside. I noticed Kelly seemed to look unhappy.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She didn’t answer so I asked again but she just shrugged and walked away. I shrugged back and went in the basement to play more video games. I could smell the food when we got near the front door and went inside and I didn’t see Mom or Dad or Grandpa or John anywhere. The table was set for dinner. I played Mario Party 2 and then my name was called for dinner. I came back up and saw everyone was back. I saw Skippy and he was eating his food and then drinking his water. I sat down at the table and so did everyone else. Gladys sat diagonal from me. Matthew talked about Little Nicky and I talked about 102 Dalmatians and everyone else talked too. But Gladys got mad at both of us telling us we are not in a barnyard and we are interrupting everyone and told us how Uncle John is so well behaved and isn’t rude at the table so if he can do it, so can us.
“He can’t even talk,” said Mom. “You’re comparing them to him. That’s like comparing an infant to a four year old saying how well behaved the baby is so if she can do it, so can he or comparing someone in a wheelchair who can’t even move their bodies to someone who is able bodied and can talk.”
“You two need to talk a little quieter,” said Dad to Matthew and I. “You’re shouting.”
I talked quieter and talked more about the movie.
“I know nothing about it,” said Uncle Nate. “So I have no clue what you are saying about it.”
I stopped talking. If he didn’t know what I was saying about it and knew nothing about the movie, there was no point in talking about it. I knew Kelly didn’t want to hear it. But at least there were other people at the table besides him so I kept on talking. I didn’t care about Little Nicky so I didn’t listen to Matthew about it.
Gladys got mad at me again and Matthew except this time it was about Matthew swinging his legs and moving his body and I had gotten up and reached over for the salad. Gladys told me to ask to have it passed to me, not reach my arm in front of people and grab it that is so rude and impolite. I apologized and sat down not even reaching for it. Uncle Nate just handed me the salad and I took it from him.
“Now what do you say,” Gladys asked me.
“Sorry,” I said again.
“No, you say thank you.”
“Thank you,” I said.
I felt bad about myself. I didn’t see what I did wrong. I didn’t touch anyone or shove anyone or push anyone. I didn’t need anyone’s help to get the salad because I could reach it fine. Asking people to pass something to you is for when you are lazy and want them to be your slave or when you can’t reach it.
I put some salad on my plate and I didn’t know what to do with it. I was afraid I would do something else wrong for Gladys so I put it by my plate and started eating it. Grandpa asked for the salad and Dad who sat next to me passed it to him and he was reaching over the table handing it to him and Grandpa had his hand out too over the table and reached for it. Gladys did not yell at them about it. I do get treated differently. There is something about me that makes her treat me different. I was a un normie again all because of Gladys. I didn’t have to wait to go back to school for that to happen.
Mom ate and never said a word at the table except for that one time. When Kelly talked, Gladys didn’t get mad at her but if I opened my mouth to talk, she would get mad at me. Matthew kept on talking and Gladys kept snapping at him to quit interrupting and telling him what he said was so rude. I just did the silent treatment, I didn’t say anything else and there was no trouble for me. I had to keep reminding myself to keep my mouth shut. I didn’t want to upset Gladys and I wanted to make her proud. Then Matthew was done eating and he got up and left his spot. I finished my food and left my spot too and went to the basement. Mom just got out of her seat and put her shoes on and went outside with her coat. I was glad to be away from Gladys. Now I don’t have to worry about trying to make her proud and I could relax.
“I hate Gladys,” said Matthew when he came in the basement.
“Oh,” I said.
Then Kelly came in the basement and said, “Gladys told me I am the best child in the family and our parents raised me so well.”
Matthew started to cry. I felt mad about what Gladys said. She thought Kelly was better than Matthew and I and Brian. She thinks Mom and Dad did a poor job of raising us but did a good job with Kelly.
Matthew went upstairs crying. I went upstairs too.
“Daddy, Kelly told me Gladys said she is the best in our family and you guys did a better job raising her,” Matthew sobbed.
“Don’t listen to her, she doesn’t know what she is talking about,” said Dad.
Matthew kept crying.
“What’s the matter with him?” Mom asked when she saw him crying.
“Gladys,” Dad sighed.
“Kelly said Gladys told her she is the best daughter and you guys did a better job raising her than us,” I said.
Mom went into rage and started to yell at her and she marched after her yelling. Grandpa and Uncle Nate had to hold her back but Mom just tried fighting them off her but they held her arms and they were asking for help.
“Glen,” Uncle Nate called.
“I’m busy,” said Dad and took Matthew into one of the bedrooms.
“Natalie,” Grandpa called.
“I’m busy too, I’m playing my game,” I said and went back in the basement.
I heard the commotion upstairs and then something being thrown.
“Gee I was just joking and it turned into all this,” Kelly shouted.
There was more talking.
“I did a bad job of raising her?” Grandma shouted.
There was more shouting.
“Go to the basement Kelly, get,” Mom yelled.
Kelly came in the basement and sighed. “That was fun to watch.”
“Why?” I asked.
“I was just joking and you two took it seriously so it was fun to watch the drama.”
“Joking?” I asked.
“Yeah about me being the best child and Mom and Dad raising me better. Now I know if I ever want to get back at Uncle Nate or Gladys, do that and Mom will get mad and charge after Gladys and then it will be a drama when everyone tries to hold her down.”
I was mad she joked.
I kept playing my game and I noticed Kelly had her pajamas on.
Then Dad came down and told us first thing tomorrow after breakfast, we are all packing up and leaving, Grandma and Grandpa were going to go home today but because of problems with Mom, they stayed and now it’s too late for them to leave so they will leave tomorrow too. Then Dad told Kelly that was a very rotten thing she did, upsetting her whole family and Gladys so she will go to bed early.
“But Dad,” said Kelly.
“No buts, that was not a funny joke you did. It was hard to keep your mother grounded and even Grandma Del didn’t want to do anything about it.”
“You did nothing about it either,” said Kelly.
“Until you said you were joking,” said Dad. “We should have really left today. An extra day here was too much for this family.”
Then Mom came down and sat down. Dad told her his plan for tomorrow.
The next day we were packing up and having breakfast. Mom was outside putting stuff in our minivan. Then she came inside with some cash in her hand. She stuck it in her coat pocket. I wondered where she got it from. Matthew had his Fruit Loops again. I didn’t have any problems with Gladys because I never said a word around her. I put my bowl in the sink and brushed my teeth and packed it away. I watched some TV. Grandpa and Grandma and Uncle John were already gone because they left before I got up. After everyone was done eating, we all had to make sure we weren’t forgetting anything. Then we all went out to our car and got in. We left and Matthew looked in our cooler and saw we barely had anything.
“Where’s all the food?” he asked.
“We ate it all,” said Dad. “But there is still some in there, if you get hungry, we can eat when we get home.”
“That won’t be necessary,” said Mom.
She pulled some money out of her coat pocket and waved it in the air. “Anita, where did that money come from?” Dad asked.
“I was putting our stuff in here and I dropped a bunch of my drawings and some lady walking by saw them and she liked them and asked if I was selling them and I said no so she started offering money for it and how could I resist? With the crises we’re in now, we need the money.”
“Great, now we can get some food instead of starve,” said Kelly.
“Cool,” said Matthew. “Mom can sell all her drawings and paintings and we will be rich.”
“And we can keep our internet and cable,” I said.
“That’s great. At least we have a little extra money,” said Dad. “How much did she give you?”
“A hundred and fifty,” Mom replied.
“That’s it? How many did she buy?”
“Five of them.”
“That’s great, Anita. What are you going to do with that money now?”
“Why not use it to pay off Dad’s fines,” I said.
“Natalie,” said Kelly and Matthew.
“What?” I asked.
“Quiet,” said Kelly.
“You be quiet,” I said back.
“What’s going on back there?” Dad asked.
“Nothing,” said Kelly.
“She wants me to be quiet,” I said.
“Kelly,” said Dad.
Kelly didn’t say anything. She turned around and said to me quietly, “Don’t give our dad any ideas, then he will just use the extra money to pay off his fines and we still don’t have our internet and cable and have to live like Aunt Bridgett. Do you want that?”
“No,” I said.
“Good, now keep your mouth shut about the money.”
Kelly turned around back in her seat.
We left Missoula and rode through the mountains. We stopped at the $10,000 Silver Dollar Bar which was in the middle of nowhere. It was in the mountains and it had a hotel and gas station and a store with a restaurant and bar and casino in it. We stopped there so Skippy could walk around and Dad went to the bathroom. I didn’t need to be changed. I walked around inside and looked at the clothes and toys and some activity books. Then I heard some shouting at the front of the store and Matthew calling for us. I yelled “What?” across the store. He didn’t answer so I followed where his voice came from. Then I saw Skippy running with the leash on him and no one was holding it and Matthew was chasing after him. “No dogs allowed, get him outside,” said one of the employees.
Matthew and I chased after Skippy. Kelly saw us and said, “What the?”
“Help us catch him,” said Matthew.
Kelly chased after us too. He ran around the store and we all split up trying to cut him off. Matthew ran so hard he knocked a few things off the shelf when he did a sharp turn and it made a loud sound.
I saw Skippy at the other end and I turned direction and ran and he ran too away from me and I dived for him and slid on the floor grabbing his leash and he ran pulling me behind him across the floor.
“Whoaaa,” I said.
I accidently knocked something off a shelf with my right foot as I got pulled by. I had no way of stopping him and I kept a strong grip on the leash to stop him but he was strong to so he was dragging me.
Then I saw Dad and Mom.
“What is going on?” Dad asked.
“What’s he doing in here?” Mom asked.
“Matthew brought him in here,” I said. “Then he took off running so we chased after him and I got him.”
“Is this your dog and your children?” the store employee asked.
“Yes,” said Mom.
“They have been causing trouble here, out,” she ordered us.
Mom had a hold of Skippy and he couldn’t run anymore dragging me on the floor. I didn’t get dragged very far, only about ten feet. I didn’t know Yellow Labs were this strong. They can pull you on a bike or razor scooter or on a skateboard so why not ground, duh.
“Sorry,” said Dad.
He called for us and we left. We were heading to our car when Mom said “Shoot, I didn’t go to the bathroom.”
“Don’t worry about it, you’re wearing one, we’ll stop at the rest area,” said Dad. “C’mon.”
We got to our car and Mom unlocked it and we got in. Skippy got in too after us and Dad closed the sliding door and got in up front.
“Geez, Skippy sure caused trouble in there,” said Kelly.
“Matthew, why did you bring him inside?” Dad asked.
“It’s cold out here and no one was outside to put Skippy in here,” said Matthew.
“We just got kicked out so congratulations,” said Dad.
“I wonder why he took off running,” I said.
“Who knows,” said Dad. “Matthew, you do not bring dogs inside, period. Now you know why.”
“We brought him inside when we got ice cream,” said Matthew.
“They allowed dogs, this place didn’t. You saw the sign and you brought him inside anyway.”
The front of my coat and shirt was all dirty was the floor. Skippy still had his leash on.
“I didn’t know dogs were that strong to pull me on the ground,” I said.
“Of course,” said Dad. “They can pull sleds.”
I could remember in the second Air Bud movie, Buddy pulled Mrs. Fram on her roller blades and caused her to fall in the lake and in 101 Dalmatians, Pongo and Pedy pulled Roger and Anita on their bikes and caused them to fall in the pond. I guess big dogs could pull us if they wanted to and we refused to go along with them so they end up dragging us. I still thought it was weird Skippy did that because he had never done it before or even took off running like that.
We stopped at the rest area and we all got out. Sippy got out too and Matthew walked him around. This time Skippy didn’t take off running but instead he was tugging on the leash pulling Matthew along and he was following after him. Then I saw him go to a tree and lift his leg up and peed. Mom went in the restroom while Dad sat in the car and waited. Then Mom came back out.
“Natalie, do you need to change?” Dad asked.
“No,” I said.
“You better not leak.”
Mom got back in the car and Dad asked her if she went and she said she went a little bit.
“Will we be stopping at every rest area again?” I asked.
“Sure, so your father will be happy,” said Mom.
“Forget about it, let’s just get home,” said Dad. “I don’t want to do all those stops just so you won’t wet yourself.”
“Let’s get some more cups so you guys can pee in them without stopping,” I said.
“Or let’s all put on diapers,” said Dad.
“Cool,” I said.
“That will help us get home a lot quicker.”
This was all feeling weird. Now everyone in my family was going to be wearing them now. When Kelly and Matthew and Skippy came back from walking around, I said “Dad says you all have to wear diapers so we won’t have to stop,” I said.
“I was teasing, Natalie,” said Dad.
Oh man, I felt disappointed.
“I am not wearing one,” said Matthew.
“I was teasing your sister,” said Dad.
“I wish you were serious,” I said.
“You want everyone to wear diapers?” said Dad.
“Yeah so it will be normal,” I said.
“Well lot of people don’t want to wear them, even you didn’t want to wear them, remember what that was like?”
“Yes but I got used to it so will they,” I said.
“Well no one is going to wear one and they will try and do anything to avoid wearing them. Even elderly people don’t want to wear them and someone at work is having a hard time getting his dad to wear one.”
“How old is he?” I asked.
“Eighties. But yet he hates having accidents because he can’t get to the bathroom in time and he won’t wear a nappy. I told the guy at work to tell him he knows someone at work who has a fifteen year old girl that wears them from being in a car accident so if she can do it, so can he.”
“Did it work?” I asked.
“I will find out when I get back.”
“He is probably losing control because he is getting old,” said Mom. “Not because he was in an accident.”
“But incontinence can happen at any age,” said Dad.
“But if it’s age related, that’s different. No one likes getting old and losing their abilities like their memory or being able to walk or run or climb or sight or hearing and bladder control.”
“Yeah but those things could happen at any age due to an illness or car accident or any kind of accident so he can look on the bright side that incontinence can happen at any age so he won’t feel so bad having to wear them.”
“But those problems also occur when someone gets old so it’s also part of aging and if their problem is due to them being old, they have a problem with it.”
“And people have a problem with their new problem of any age if they get it from an accident or sickness,” said Dad.
Mom and Dad bickered over problems people get when they get old and then Dad decided to end the discussion by saying nothing else.
We hit the road again and kept on driving and soon we were in Idaho again. We played music again. There was still snow up here so Mom was driving slower. There got less and less as we climbed down. Soon we were out of the mountains and we were going through Spokane again and I saw Aunt Bridgett’s house. There was still some snow on the ground but only a few inches.
Matthew complained about being hungry again.
“There is food in the cooler,” said Dad.
“I have money,” said Mom. “Anyone else hungry, we can stop.”
“Yay, we’re not Aunt Bridgett,” said Kelly.
We got to the downtown area and Dad told her to get off. Mom drove around and we all had to be quiet so Mom could concentrate on the roads because of lot of traffic. Lot of the roads were one way. It made it so hard to get around. Soon Mom and Dad found a place to eat and pulled into a parking lot of a buffet restaurant. Dad told Mom to let us all out and we’ll wait in line while she finds a parking spot and catches up to us. We all got out except Mom and Skippy and we went inside and waited in line. The line wasn’t long and it only had a few people in front of us. Mom came inside after she parked the car. Soon we were at the register and Mom paid and we were seated at an empty table and given plates and silverware. Matthew ran to the food but Mom called after him telling him she will get it for him because she doesn’t want him to make a mess and break the plate. Mom just hung her coat on her chair and went to the food with Matthew. I went and got my food. Most of it was lunch and I saw the salad bar and it had fruit and cottage cheese and eggs and macaroni salad. I scooped myself a hot plate first and put macaroni and cheese on it and mashed potatoes with gravy and then I grabbed some fruit and put it on my plate. I sat down in my seat and started eating. Mom came back with Matthew’s food and set it down and took her plate and got her own food. After I finished my plate, I got another one and got Jello this time and cottage cheese and pudding, hard boiled eggs cut up into tiny pieces, pies, and cantaloupe. I took it back to the table and ate and had my drink I got. Matthew barely had any food on his plate because he doesn’t like food touching each other. When he was done Dad got him more. Kelly got some more food too. Mom was done after two plates. I got another plate and put a lot of mac and cheese on it this time. I felt sick from eating all that food but I forced it down me. Then I couldn’t eat anymore and pushed the plate away and got dessert.
“Don’t eat too much or you will get sick,” Dad told me. “You will also have a big mess too to clean up.”
I knew what he was referring to. I kept on eating and went back to my mac and cheese and I felt so sick I sat back and rested. I shouldn’t have eaten this much and I always do this in buffets and when it’s Thanksgiving because of so much food.
Then I ended up having another bowl of ice cream and more mac and cheese. Dad was done eating and Mom had her dessert and Kelly only had a brownie for her dessert and Matthew also had ice cream and played with it using his spoon.
“Matthew, eat it, don’t play with your food,” said Dad.
Matthew ate it slowly. I felt sick I did not eat anymore. I even felt like I was going to throw up. I peed in my diaper and I felt very wet. But there was one problem, I had my backpack in the car and I didn’t have it with me.
“Dad, I need my backpack,” I said.
“Anita, give her the keys to the car so she can get her bag out of there,” said Dad.
Mom reached in her coat pocket for the keys and tossed them over to me across the table.
“I didn’t say throw them,” said Dad.
“How else am I supposed to give them to her, she is all the way over there where I can’t reach her,” said Mom.
“Have her hold her hand out to reach them from you or get out of your chair and walk over to her.”
They landed on the floor between Kelly and me so I had to reach down and pick them up. Kelly moved the keys over to me with her foot so I could reach them better. I grabbed them and Dad asked Mom where she parked the car and she couldn’t say where she parked it. She said she parked it next to an ugly pickup truck that is brown on the right side of the parking lot.
“Natalie, Mom parked somewhere on the right side of the parking lot,” he pointed. “Just look for our car, you know what it looks like.”
I put my coat on and went outside with the keys and walked in the parking lot. I looked for our car. I looked down each row and couldn’t see it. I walked around looking for it peeking behind the bigger cars that were blocking my view from other cars. I went back inside and told Mom and Dad I couldn’t find the car. Mom got up and went outside with me and she took me to the car. I saw it was in plain sight at the other end. I felt so stupid for missing it. I unlocked the car and Skippy had been sitting on his dog bed looking out the window. I got my backpack and locked the car again and handed the keys to Mom and went back inside. I went in the restroom and went in one of the stalls and took off my coat, pants and shoes. I hung my backpack up and took my diaper off and took out my wipes and cleaned myself up. Then I unfolded the fresh diaper and put it on. I put my pants and shoes on and closed my backpack and put it on over my shoulders and grabbed my diaper and rolled it up with the wipe in it. There was no one in the restroom so I walked out with it in my hand and then all of a sudden, the door swung open and in walked in an older woman. She saw me and didn’t say anything and I quickly turned my back and hid it under my coat and tossed it in the trash can and washed my hands not even looking at her. Then I got out of there and went back to the table. Matthew’s ice cream was all melted and it sat on his plate and a waiter came by and took all our plates and silverware.
“Everyone done?” Dad asked.
“I am,” I said.
“I’m full,” said Kelly.
“Okay I guess we are done,” said Dad.
I put my coat on and held my backpack in my hand. Everyone got out of their seats and we went outside.
“Thank god we we’re not Bridgett,” said Kelly.
“Kelly, you have said that many times already,” said Dad.
“I am just being Natalie,” she said.
We went to our car and got in.
“I have a tummy ache,” Matthew complained.
“That’s because you ate too much,” said Dad.
I felt a little better. I took off my coat and buckled up.
We left and got back on the freeway. We played a game of looking for each letter from the alphabet. We looked on road signs and license plates and on other cars but I always hated Q’s and X’s and Z’s since those are tricky to find but we always skip those letters. We stopped once in Ritzville just to let Skippy walk around. I stayed in the car and so did Kelly. She was listening to her music and reading. Everyone else was out walking. Then Matthew came back and got in the car. Soon Dad was back and then Mom and Skippy got back in the car and Mom closed the door again and got in the front seat. We hit the road again and didn’t stop again until we got to Tri-Cities for gas. That is an alternate name for Pasco and Kennewick. We got it when we were almost out of town again. This time Mom did not wait in the car waiting for them to pump our gas. Mom bought herself some coffee and she got Dad some too but when she brought it back to the car, he didn’t want any. “Last time I didn’t get you some, you got mad at me and I get you some this time and you don’t want it,” Mom shrugged.
We left the station and headed out of town. We listened to the same music we heard on the way to Montana. I colored and played my Game Boy. We had to stop again for Skippy when we got to Oregon and stopped at a rest area. We walked Skippy again and he peed again and pooped and I saw Dad toss it in the trash after he picked it up. Matthew played with his toys on the cooler. I rubbed the outside of my diaper under my coat so no one wouldn’t see what I was doing. I felt the plastic of it and rubbed the edges of my diaper. I felt the wet part of my diaper. Then Dad came back with Skippy and put him in the back and got in his seat. We got on the freeway again and kept on driving. We didn’t stop for ice cream in Arlington. When we got to The Dalles, Matthew started to get annoying again. He had been in the car for too long so he was bored and restless and Dad said we were almost home. Then to make him stop being annoying, Dad told him if he were to watch Jurassic Park, the movie will still be going by the time we get home. But instead he started to talk about it. Kelly put her headphones on again. I was trying to read but Matthew stuck his head behind his seat and got in my face. I pushed him away hard.
“Hey,” said Dad. “Matthew, sit down in your seat.”
“She pushed me,” Matthew cried.
“He got close to me,” I said.
“Sit,” said Dad.
Matthew kept talking and I ignored him. Then he put his feet on Skippy using him as a foot rest. He didn’t seem to mind it. I looked out the window and kept on reading. Then Mom and Dad ordered Matthew to get his feet off Sippy and I noticed he was moving his body and made a growling sound.
“He doesn’t like that at all,” Dad yelled. “Would you like it if we put our feet on you?”
Matthew didn’t answer.
“Okay, on the floor, Kelly put your feet on him or Natalie,” said Dad.
“No,” Matthew cried.
“Then listen to us, don’t put your feet on Sippy or we will let your brother and sister put their feet on you so you will see how it feels.”
Skippy was wagging his tail again and panting. He sat on his butt and was looking around. Then he stared out the window and then barked.
“What is it boy?” Mom asked.
Skippy barked again and we all looked at what he was looking at except Mom. I noticed another van with a Washington license plate and it had another family in there with anther Yellow Lab. It was also looking at us and Skippy looked at the dog.
“I bet he is in love,” said Matthew.
“This isn’t a movie,” I said.
Then Skippy whimpered.
We kept on driving and we passed the van a few times and they would pass us. Then we saw the van pull off the freeway.
“Sorry Skippy,” said Matthew.
Skippy whimpered and barked.
Mom, Dad, and I yelled at him to be quiet. I couldn’t stand indoor barking.
“I wonder if that dog is in heat,” said Dad.
“I bet he fell in love and he is sad he won’t see her again,” I said.
“No, that doesn’t happen with animals,” said Dad. “They go through heat and all the male dogs go after them and mate with them and that is how the female gets pregnant. We have seen it happen with both our cats and we got them spade.”
I could remember when Princess had a boyfriend and it was with a gray and white cat. They were always together and then he stopped coming around so I assume they broke up. The same thing happened with Kelly’s cat except a bunch of male cats kept coming over and one time we had five different cats on our property meowing while we had Mittens locked in the garage. I think they were all fighting over her like some guys do with a girl. Then to punish my family because I was mad at them about something, I threw one of the male cats in our garage and left him there with her and she got pregnant. She had her kittens and we gave them away because Mom and Dad didn’t want six cats. We gave them away for free. Then they got Mittens fixed. We never got Skippy fixed because he is pure bred and he can make pure bred dogs and make money off them. He doesn’t mark his territories in our home because he isn’t allowed to pee inside and he knows that so he does it outside.
I thought about the bet Dad did with us about when Mom will get a job. I decided she might find one in January. That was my guess for the bet.
We made it to Portland and drove across the 205 bridge to Washington. I pooped in my diaper again. Finally the food had caught to me and I pooped it out. Kelly and Matthew smelled the mess and Dad said we were almost home. The mess felt all mushy in the back and I felt it in the middle too. I moved my butt around in it. I felt around for leaks and a damp spot but the seat wasn’t wet. I was almost home anyway.
“What are you doing?” Matthew asked.
“Nothing,” I said.
I felt embarrassed he even asked. I wasn’t going to tell him I was enjoying the mess in my diaper. I felt my diaper again under my coat and felt how wet it was.
“Natalie, when we get home, you go straight upstairs to the bathroom and get cleaned up,” said Mom.
“And put on cloth,” said Dad.
It was dark out and we drove out of the Vancouver area and the freeway ended and we were now on I-5.
We got to our exit soon and Mom got off and we drove into Saltwater. Everyone could still smell my mess, even me a little bit. Kelly had her nose held shut. I thought she was used to it. She must have lied to Amber.
When we got home, I was sent upstairs to the bathroom while everyone else had to help unload the car.
“You have to poop your pants to not help out,” said Kelly.
I went in the bathroom and got undressed and took my diaper off. It was a mess. I washed myself off in the tub and I realized I didn’t bring any cloth diapers in with me. I went in my room hoping to not pee on the rug and grabbed a diaper and plastic pants and ran back in the bathroom. I put it on and my plastic pants. I looked at myself in the mirror. There I was fifteen years old and standing wearing a diaper and bra instead of underwear and bra. I put my clothes back on and picked my diaper up and rolled it in a ball and took it outside. I threw it in the trash outside. Everyone was done unloading the car by then.
“Natalie gets to stall up there so she wouldn’t have to help out,” said Kelly. “This isn’t fair, why couldn’t we leave some stuff out there for her to bring in,” said Kelly.
“It’s not fair, why do I need to be the one incontinent and everyone else gets to wear underwear and not have to wash the poop off their butts or even take a long time to go potty,” I said back. “I can’t even wear cute panties and all the girls can and I can’t and there are no cute diapers out there in my size. I wish they make them for adults like they do for babies.”
“See, she suffers too so I think it’s fair we all unloaded the car without her,” said Dad.
I took my odor pill and put the bottles in the cupboard and my other pills too. It felt weird to be home because we were gone for a few days, it felt like we were gone for a while and our home smelled different. Princess and Mittens were inside. A bunch of our stuff was all in the kitchen between the family room and living room and Mom was mopping the floor where shoes were. I noticed a different brand of diapers lying on the floor. They were in a package and one of them was opened.
I went in the box and grabbed our Nintendo 64 so I could hook it up and play it again. I set it up in the den and played it.
Then Dad called me to take my stuff up to my room and my clothes. I paused the same and I had to take my clothes from the big bag and take them upstairs and my other stuff I brought on the trip. I just dumped them on the floor in my room. I set the Super Nintendo on my bed and went back to the den. Everyone else had to take their stuff to their room too. Dad just wanted everything put away because he couldn’t stand the “mess” in the kitchen. He said he couldn’t stand the house being messy when it was just our stuff in the kitchen. He even put the huge bag away too under the house. When he opened our front door, we had a box sitting on our doorstep and they were my diapers. Dad said he had to cancel the automatic delivery of them and have them only be ordered by us when we run low and now we have too many diapers and it’s a waste of money to keep buying them every two weeks if we only use them for when we’re out of the house. Mom suggested we change it to monthly since I wear them to school and go through about three of them a day unless I mess. Dad agreed to changing the delivery to once a month.
“Uh Dad,” I said.
“What?” he asked.
“Since you guys are changing how often the diapers come, can I wear a different kind now?”
“You don’t like the kinds you have anymore?” Dad asked.
“I like the purple ones better,” I said. “They hold more and last longer during the day and I won’t have to change as soon.”
“My only concern is you won’t change and you stay in those longer and get rashes or infections and they’re expensive.”
“Mom wears them, why can’t I?” I complained.
Dad sighed. “I will think about it okay.”
The box was taken upstairs to the master bedroom.
I took my other pills when I saw it was past eight and I went upstairs. I remembered to knock this time on Mom and Dad’s door.
“Hold on,” said Dad.
I waited.
I knocked again.
“I said hold on,” Dad shouted.
I waited and soon he opened the door.
“Can I shower?” I asked.
“You had one last night,” he said.
“We haven’t used any water here,” said Mom. “So she can shower.”
“Okay fine but tomorrow you don’t get one but you do on Monday,” said Dad.
I ran to my room and grabbed another cloth diaper and my pajamas and went in the bathroom to shower. After I was done, I put on a clean diaper and got my jamese on and took the other diaper downstairs and stuck it in the laundry sink soaking it. I saw the litter box had been moved back in the laundry room under the sink. I played more of the Nintendo 64. Dad finally came in the room and asked me if I remembered out bet we were making about how long it will take Mom to find a job and how long it will last when she gets one before she quits.
“January and how long did she last at her other jobs?” I asked.
“The longest had been two years and the others not even a year,” said Dad.
“What was the shortest she ever worked,” I asked.
“A week,” said Dad. “That was at a McDonalds and she couldn’t handle all the noise there and the smells and chaos and how fast they had to work so she walked out and never went back.”
“How long would it normally take her to find one?” I asked.
“Four years for her first and the next time it was five months, it all varied. She worked off and on and I always supported her.”
I thought and made a guess how long she would last at her new job. “Three months,” I said.
“Okay, when do you think she will find one?”
“January,” I said.
“Okay, said Dad. “January and she lasts three months. I will write it down for you.”
“What if none of us gets it right?” I asked.
“I will go with whoever was closest and if it was a tie, none of you get the money,” said Dad.
He left the room. I had placed my bet finally and I was hoping I will win. But then I realized if it takes Mom that long to get one, we won’t have cable or internet but then I thought with some of the money Mom had earned, she could use it to pay for the cable and internet and I hoped it would be enough unless she spends it like she always does with money so the reason why Dad keeps all of it and gives little of it to her. I could remember Grandma telling me she never understood money or bills or budget. Even Mom said she always found it complicated and she has a hard time saving and she always wants to spend and without Dad she would always be broke and not be able to pay her bills and would keep getting evicted which means kicked out of her home and move somewhere else because she wasn’t paying her rent or couldn’t pay it and with homes, the bank just takes it away and you have to move out because you couldn’t pay the mortgage. The bank owns your house, not you because it’s their money you borrowed to buy the house and you are now paying them back once a month. Mom and Dad are still paying them back for our house and Dad says they’re almost done and then the house is truly theirs.
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Post by Bad Beth on May 27, 2014 18:51:28 GMT
Chapter 33
Mom got me up for school on Monday. She changed my diaper again and put a disposable on me. I remembered to take my odor pill again and I had my breakfast. It felt like I had not gone to school in a while because of our trip. After I was done eating, I put my bowl in the sink and brushed my teeth and my hair and got my stuff ready for school. I left them on my bed and played more video games in the den. Then Mom called my name to tell me the van is here. I turned my game off and got my stuff and realized I didn’t ask Mom to bring me more diapers. “My diapers,” I said. Mom sighed. “Ughhh, you need to be ready before you leave and make sure you have everything.” “I’m sorry,” I said. “I forgot.” Mom ran upstairs and she came out of her room with four diapers in her hand and gave them to me. I stuffed them in my backpack and ran out the door. I dropped my stuff in the grass as I headed to the van and I picked it up and dropped it two more times while trying to zip my backpack. I imagined the kids in the van laughing at me as I drop my stuff. I didn’t even have my shoes completely on either. I put them on correctly when I got in the van and had my stuff all organized finally. We picked up the other kids and Sam asked me how Thanksgiving was and if we went anywhere. I told him we went out to Montana and I saw 102 Dalmatians and told him about the characters in it. “Oh god no,” said Gary. “Not again.” “I am not talking about James Bond,” I said. “Anyone see the movie?” “No,” said the other kids. “Most of it was filmed in London this time,” I said. “Here is an idea, instead of sending all the criminals to prison, send them to get treatment so they are different people and cured of their old selves and then release them to have normal lives.” “Gay,” said Gary. “Then there wouldn’t be so many people in prison,” I said. “Instead of capital punishment or life sentence, cure them instead so they are better people and not commit the same crimes again.” “Lame,” said Gary. “Why?” I asked. “That idea is so stupid,” he said. “Disney is for kids.” “We are kids,” I said. “No we’re not, we’re teenagers.” “Teens are kids,” I said. “You’re a kid until you turn eighteen.” “All your ideas are stupid. I hope you never run for president. I won’t vote for you.” “Gary,” said Sam. “I wish they would find the cure to ass burgers,” said Gary. “You just said her idea Gary,” said Cindy. “I did not.” “Yes you did,” said Mark. “You just shot down her idea about curing people and then you just said there should be a cure to ass burgers. Dummy much?” “Shut up,” said Gary. I felt better inside. Gary was being put down now instead of me. I felt like a normie again and Gary was now the un normie. Sam asked the other kids we picked up how their Thanksgiving was and if they went anywhere. Everyone pretty much stayed home and Lauren had family in the area so they all had Thanksgiving together. They mentioned who was there and I realized I failed to mention who came to Thanksgiving. All I talked about was the movie and going out to Montana. Then Sam had moved onto someone else and didn’t give me the chance to say who was there. Oh well maybe next time I will answer it the right way. It’s better if I hear other kids answer first so I will know how to answer. But Sam had to ask me right when I got in the van and I didn’t hear Gary, Mark, Brian, or Cindy say how their Thanksgiving was. When we got to school, we all got out. It felt different being back because of the vacation we all had. I have always loved long weekends including vacations but I hate when we are away on a trip. Then I have no free time at home while all the other kids do. “Natalie,” said Lauren when she ran up to me. She walked alongside me and then she asked me, “Um do you have Asperger’s syndrome?” “No,” I said quickly. “Gee sorry. Gary keeps calling you by his fancy word for it.” “He’s just a jerk,” I said. “Do you like computers?” “Yes,” I said. “And you play a lot of video games?” “Yes.” “How often?” “Uh every day.” “How many hours?” “I don’t know.” “Are you on the computer a lot too?” “Yes.” “Are you good at math?” “Yeah.” “What is eight over seven and x equals?” “No not that kind of math,” I said. “Okay, I am thinking of two numbers. Twelve and another number. Twelve and my other number have a greatest common factor of six and their least common multiple is thirty six. What other number am I thinking of?” “I don’t know, I was never good at story problems,” I said defensively. “Okay,” she said. “I don’t know the answer either. My brother gave me that problem.” “Why?” “Just to see if I can solve it.” “Why?” “So he can give me my prize.” “Why?” “My prize is he will leave me alone and not be a pest to me for a week.” “Ask Jason Larson, he is good at math, maybe he can solve it for you,” I suggested. “Oh he has the ‘ass burgers,’” she said it in a different tone as I was talking. “Or I can ask my brother but he might be too young to solve it, he is good at it too,” I finished my sentence. “How old is he?” “Nine.” “Can he do above grade level math?” “Yes.” “Are you into science fiction?” “No.” “Do you like science?” “No.” “Inventing and fixing things?” “No.” “Okay so you are just a socially retarded video game computer nerd.” “I am not retarded,” I yelled. “No I said socially retarded. It means your social skills are lacking so you are like a young child. There is also growth retarded.” “What’s growth retarded?” I asked. “That is what midgets are and dwarfs, they are growth retarded because they lack growth so they are short. There is socially retarded and mentally retarded and emotionally retarded. Do you know how to fix computers?” “No,” I said. “So what do you do with them?” “I play on them,” I said answering her stupid question. “Okay so you are just a regular computer user, how many hours do you spend on it?” “A lot,” I said. “How often?” “I don’t know.” “Whoops gotta get to my locke. Gary thinks everyone has Asperger’s if they are good at math, talk too much or not at all, have bad social skills, are good with computers or play a lot of video games and do computers a lot, or are into science fiction or into fixing things or have a very strong interest in something, but I know Jason really does have it and he is annoying.” “No he’s not,” I said. “You haven’t known him long enough then.” Then I noticed she was gone as if she vanished into thin air. I went to my locker and opened it. I put my backpack in there and my coat and I realized I forgot my odor pills. I felt panic inside. I hoped I would not mess in class or around anyone else. I looked on the shelf in my locker and saw I had one odor pill left. Hopefully that pill will keep my poop from smelling if I do mess in class. Then a kid screamed behind my back and I turned around and saw one of the kids I see in the hall all the time and I didn’t know his name. He just looked at me and I stuck my tongue out at him. I closed my locker. I felt nervous going to Mrs. Trunchbull’s class. Mom did say I didn’t have to go to her class so I went the other way. I just walked in the hall and stared at the other kids and then I saw Lilth, Damian, Hecate, and Ahriman. I saw them calling for someone named Raven and I kept on walking. “Raven!” Lilth shouted again. Then they ran up to me. “Raven,” said Hecate. “We said hi you to you.” I then realized they had given me a new name last week. “Sorry, I forgot that was my name,” I said. “You get used to it,” said Hecate. Lilth put her arm around me. “We missed you on Tuesday, where were you?” she asked. “Home,” I said. “What did you get?” “Nothing,” I said. “Why did you stay home?” “Mom let me stay home,” I said. “Why?” “I didn’t get much sleep at night.” “So are you going to be our friend and join our group?” Lilth asked. “Yes,” I said. “Good, now we will help you get rid of Mrs. Kink but the first thing first is you have to go to her class and show us how strong you are and show us you can survive it. That is how we know which kid is the cool kid and which kid is a wuss.” I could survive that class, no problem. I would prove it to them. “You will be on probation for a week. We will see how it goes and see if you are fit for our group,” said Lilth. I felt excited. I was getting accepted finally and being invited to a group. I was feeling like a normie again. I would prove Jason wrong I could be a normie. I would make myself from a un normie to normie. “So what class do you have first thing in the morning?” Lilth asked. “English,” I said. “Mrs. Kink?” “Yes,” I said. “Okay.” They then led me to her class. Lilth and Hecate had their arms around my shoulders as we walked. I noticed kids looked at us as they walked by and not one kid bothered me, not even Joshua. “No one is bothering me,” I said. “Good,” said Hecate. “Kids are afraid of us.” “Why?” I asked. “Look what we are wearing,” said Lilth. I looked at them and they had on dark clothes, most of it was black and their hairs were dark too except Hecate. Hers was red. Damian wore a long black coat that went down to his legs to where his ankles were. “So,” I said. “Lot of people are afraid of us because of what we have on,” said Lilth. I was surprised and I felt sorry for them because kids were afraid of them. No one had ever been afraid of me. I used to wish they were so they would leave me alone and be nice to me and be my friend but I was always too weak and never scary. But why would kids be afraid of their clothes? “Why would they be afraid of you because of what you’re wearing?” I asked. “They’re pussies. People are stupid,” said Damian. “At least you aren’t afraid of us,” said Lilth. “Yeah,” I said. Then we were at Mrs. Trunchbull’s door. “Here is my class,” I said. “Good luck and show us how strong you are,” said Lilth. They waved at me as I went inside. I sat down in my seat. Mrs. Trunchbull was sitting at her desk. I felt nervous but also happy at the same time. Kids were coming into class and they all sat down. I tapped my foot and played with the zipper on my binder. Kids were talking and I was rocking back and forth in my seat and didn’t even realize it when Mrs. Trunchbull asked me “Natalia, what did I tell you about the chairs in here not being a rocking chair?” I stopped myself and left the classroom. I walked back and forth in the hallway until the bell rang. I went back inside and sat down again. Mrs. Trunchbull took attendance and put it by the door and started class. I noticed kids seemed to be acting worse. They moved in their seats more, I saw Patsy and Amber tossing paper at each other. Mrs. Trunchbell kept taking things away and yelling at us to sit still and would make each student stand against the wall but they still acted up. Even her slamming her ruler on our desks didn’t work. I saw Russell slamming his ruler on his desk over and over copying her. I didn’t know what was going on but I felt calmer and happy. Everyone was acting up now like I was. Now I wonder what will happen to Mrs. Trunchbull and if she will quit or be nicer. I just rocked in my seat being myself than making myself not do it. Mrs. Trunchbull made me stand up too against the wall and I swayed my body. After DOL, we all did reading and kids were just talking instead of discussing the book. Then Mrs. Peggy came in the class and asked for me. I took my stuff and left the class with her. I wondered what I did wrong. Mrs. Peggy took me to a room in the office. She had me sit down. “I arranged for you to see Mrs. Grenzle ,” she said. Whew I was not in trouble. “You will see her once a week every Friday from one to one forty.” “Man it seems like I am missing lot of my classes because of all this therapy stuff,” I said. “This is a school for kids who need help so we do lot of therapy here,” said Mrs. Peggy. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I always do PE for fifteen minutes before group therapy and then I miss choir and now I will be in PE on Fridays for only fifteen minutes and then see Mrs. Grenzle but at least I will still go to choir that day but I would miss twenty minutes of it. “So I just wanted to let you know we set up counseling for you, your dad and I arranged it,” said Mrs. Peggy. “Any questions?” “How come you didn’t want to talk to my mother and you only wanted him?” I asked. “Your mom is temperamental, I can’t take her attitude, is she that way with you too?” “What’s temperamental?” I asked. “When we talked last time, she was real nasty to me and moody and she hurled insults at me and she said stuff to me I don’t even want to repeat.” “Why?” “It’s between us. She was upset with me and your dad told me she gets that way when people don’t agree with her. How are things at home?” Mrs. Peggy asked. I shrugged. I didn’t know how to answer it. “Are things good?” “Maybe,” I said. “Your dad says things are fine at home and with your mother. I just want to hear from you.” I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say. “If there is anything bothering you at home, just tell us.” Then Mrs. Peggy excused me to class. I grabbed my stuff and went back and I noticed everyone had their heads down at their desks. Mrs. Trunchball saw me and told me to come with her. She grabbed my arm by my upper sleeve and pulled me to the door and out in the hallway. She pushed me against the lockers. “What did you tell everyone here?” she asked. Her tone did not sound happy. “Huh?” I asked. “Don’t get smart with me. For the past couple of days kids have been acting up in my classroom and they say I can’t do anything about it or make them go away like I did with a student and with Lee.” “But their parents took them out of school,” I said. “They listened to their kids so they took them out since no one will fire you.” Mrs. Turnchbull grabbed my arm and it hurt. “You never stop talking do you?” she said. “You say too much. Ever since you have been here, you have been nothing but trouble.” “Why don’t you quit then,” I said. Then she slapped me across the face. Not hard but it still stung. I was shocked. No one was in the hall when she did it so she wasn’t caught doing it. “Wanna tell someone I hit you there, go ahead, they won’t believe you,” she said. “There were no witnesses and I barely did it.” I felt too numbed to move. “I will see what I can do about you,” she said pointing at me. “But don’t forget you still have to come to my room for detention for lunch,” and then she headed back in her room leaving me out here. I felt my face and then I noticed a younger kid walking in the hall and he walked by me not saying anything. I don’t think he saw the incident. I knew teachers were not allowed to hit their students or they get fired. Back when my parents were kids, teachers were allowed to hit their students and I was surprised when I heard it still happens but only in certain states. None of my schools ever did it but my kindergarten teacher did a few times. She was still teaching there when Kelly started kindergarten and Mom and Dad did not want her in her class and threatened the school she will be homeschooled if she got that teacher. But of course they would put her in school when she started first grade. Then the teacher wasn’t there anymore when Matthew started Kindergarten. Either she got fired or she quit. I found out a few years later she wasn’t supposed to hit me and Mom was shocked she did it. She could have gotten fired for that, especially when she took me to the office holding my hair and shirt after I pulled the beard off Santa because I wanted to prove to everyone he wasn’t real because they wouldn’t believe me. I stayed still for the rest of the period staring at the walls and ceiling and the floor and then the bell rang. I went to my locker to get my Game Boy but when I got there I couldn’t find it. I realized I had forgotten it at home. Great, now I will be bored. I still had 1984 in my locker and I didn’t touch it. I headed to Math. I didn’t see Lilth, Damian, Hecate, and Ahriman anywhere. Maybe I will see them again after Math. I walked hoping no one will bother me. If anyone touches me or blocks my eye sight, I am pulling their hair hard so it will hurt so much they will leave me alone. I had that plan. I kept on walking to class and I kept an eye out for those kids so I would be ready when they put their hand in front of my face again. I went to Math and sat in my seat. “Were you sick on Thanksgiving?” Shoney asked. “No,” I said. “When did you get better?” “Huh?” I asked. “You weren’t here on the last day.” “No I wasn’t sick,” I said. “You got early Thanksgiving out?” “I guess,” I said. “Why were you home?” Caroline asked. “I didn’t get enough sleep,” I said. “Man I need to not sleep much when we get a short week so I could have a longer vacation,” she said. “Thanks for the great idea. I will just lie in bed or take something that will keep me up and I will get to stay home too after telling my own father I had a hard time sleeping so I am not feeling well.” Oops, I just gave her the wrong idea. Mrs. Tunchbull is right, I do say too much but how am I going to know how people will react to what I say and what ideas they will get in their brains? But it wouldn’t be my fault if she decides to be dishonest. I never told her to do that. She thought of it herself. Is it the movie company’s fault when some kids have decided to jump off high places thinking they would be able to fly because Superman does or any movie companies fault when people decide to do violence and blame it on movies? Yes some people have actually tried to blame movies for their actions and my parents say those people are stupid and Dad says they are just looking for an excuse and people will try and blame their actions on other people to avoid responsibility. But wait a minute, does that mean Dad is avoiding reasonability for his drinking because he has always blamed it on Mom? Saying she stresses him out too much so he drinks to cope. That made no sense because he said one thing and then says the other. These things drive me crazy because they make no sense. I kept thinking in my seat. The betrayal I got from Allie and Jason not wanting me to be normal, Mrs. Peggy being a dumb blonde, kids still picking on me and no one will do nothing about it, Gary being mean to me and some other kids in the van and then one of them being nice to me all of a sudden, being stuck with Mrs. Trunchbull, how bad I am meant to be, how I was probably put on this earth for people to pick on and how much bad luck I am. It would have been so much better if I had died at birth or in the car accident but no I had to survive only to get all this. I wonder if I will always survive every bad incident other people would die in such as the church fire. I suppose if a building collapsed with me in it, I would live. I wonder if I would survive an execution too if I committed a murder or got accused of committing one and I was innocent. They would probably try and kill me again and hoping they succeed this time. Or I would probably suffer while being executed because I didn’t die when I should have and that would have been my bad luck too. I also survived being choked when I was a baby but Brian was there to see it so he stopped it before I got brain damage and who knows what abnormalities it would have left me if I got it at that young age. All it left me was a little scar on my neck. “Earth to Natalie, are you paying attention?” Mrs. Zeller asked. I jumped out of my thoughts. I noticed class had already started and everyone had their math books out and opened with paper and pencil. “I am now,” I said. “Natalie, you have to try and pay attention, this isn’t the first time you have done it. I will talk to you later about it.” She went back to teaching and I got my math book and opened it and looked on my neighbor’s desk to see what the page number was. I knew I was behind again because I missed math again last Tuesday so I just started with the problem we were on and I will do the ones I missed after doing the other ones first.
After Math got out, I went up to Mr. Zeller. “What?” she asked. “You said you wanted to talk to me,” I said. “I am busy right now so I will talk to you during lunch, just come in here.” “I still have to see Mrs. Trunch-Kink,” I said. “Okay, you can still come in here and I will write you a note and then you can go to her when we are through.” Then she excused me. I headed to Spanish. I saw Jason again and I just paid no attention to him and sat in my seat after grabbing one of the Spanish books. Jason came over to me and asked, “Where were you on Tuesday? Here is your game.” He set it in front of me and I picked it up and put it in my binder. “I was home,” I said. “Were you sick?” “No,” I said. “So what happened? Why weren’t you in school?” “I didn’t get enough sleep,” I said. “I uh talked to my mom and she said about those kids that maybe you won’t be around them long so I have no reason to think I can’t be your friend. I didn’t stay with them so maybe you won’t either I hope.” “I still plan on staying with them,” I said. “I noticed kids left me alone in the hallways when I went to my class. I feel safe with them. They could be my bodyguards and no one will pick on me. These kids are perfect for me and I can be a normie when I am with them.” “You’re dreaming, you think being left alone makes you a normie?” said Jason. “Do you even know what a normie is?” “Someone who isn’t different,” I said. “No, it’s someone with a typical brain. We don’t have typical brains and people being more tolerant and not picking on you doesn’t make you have a typical brain.” “Why are you so down?” I asked. “I am not down, I am speaking the truth.” “But my grandma called everyone normies who were normal and not different like her,” I said. “She used it wrong.” “But it was a word she made up when she was a kid and you just happened to make up the same word too,” I said. “I didn’t make it up, I learned the word from my mother. That is what she called everyone different from her.” “So my grandma was using it right,” I said. “No she started using it after she found out she wasn’t like the others and she was an adult.” “Sounds like my grandma did use it right after all,” I said again. “No she used it wrong,” said Jason. “No she used it for others who were different than her and your mom uses it the same way too but she was an adult when she figured out she was different.” “She always knew she was different, she just didn’t know why. Did your grandma know then too?” I didn’t know the answer so I didn’t answer the question. I just shrugged. “Did your grandma know then?” Jason asked. “I don’t know,” I said. Then the bell rang interrupting our conversation and Mr. Leaf started class. He took our attendance and asked someone to set it by the door. We worked on some conjugations again. It felt like I had drunk a lot today (no I don’t mean alcohol) because I could feel my diaper being soaking wet. It was one of those days with my body making lot of urine so I went more often. I felt my butt for leaks and felt none. I looked at the time and we only had thirty minutes left until class ended. I got out of my chair to sharpen my pencil again. The diaper stayed close to my body because the bathing suit I had on held it to my body than letting it sag which gets uncomfortable. As I sharpened my pencil, poop came out into my diaper. It was all squishy and soft and I heard myself farting. It was a wet fart sound. I waited for someone to make a comment about my farting but no comment ever came. I felt too nervous to dash from the room so I stayed in my mess. I sat back down and stared at my paper worrying about my farting. I felt the mess spreading all over in my diaper from front to back. I will wait until ten fifty to change so that way no one will suspect a thing. That should be plenty of time before class ends when I clean up my mess. “Ew, what is that awful smell?” said Addie waving her paper in front of her face she had folded in half. Oh no, I stunk up the whole room. The odor pills didn’t work. I started to feel panic. I caught myself rocking back and forth. “I farted, sorry,” said Jeff. I calmed down and stopped rocking. “Aw sick, what did you have for breakfast, Burritos?” Phil asked. “I had beans last night,” said Jeff. “Aw man, that stuff makes your farts smell bad,” said Will. “So it was you with that long fart, it sounded like a newborn pooping their diaper,” said Greg. “Did you not wipe your butt well?” said Jason. “I smell some poo.” “Jason, no,” said his aid. “But it stinks bad in here,” he complained. “That is not an appropriate question to ask,” she told him. “I’m just being honest, it does smell when you don’t wipe properly and don’t get it all off,” he said holding his shirt over his nose. I felt happy kids were giving Jeff a hard time about his farting because no one was bothering me about my farting. At least it wasn’t me this time and it was him getting the big deal. But at the same time I felt sorry for him. Then Mr. Leaf told them that was enough and told them to get to work. Jeff didn’t seem bothered by any of this. How could he not mind at all? He was just smiling and laughing. I still kept quiet about my own wet fart I did. I was too afraid what they would say after that if I confessed and they might know I pooped my pants and then will want to know why I didn’t change my pants. I was so glad the smell didn’t come from me and it came from Jeff. I then finally started to smell it too when the smell waft over to my area. It smelled like terrible farts than poo. I just stayed in my mess for a few more minutes and then I got out of my chair and walked up to the teacher and asked him if I could use the bathroom. I was expecting him to tell me yes and to take the pass but instead he opened his desk drawer and handed me a shaker thing people dance with and it had his room number and name on it and told me to take it with me to get changed. “No hat?” I asked. “That is my special pass for students who need to leave class for a special reason,” said Mr. Leaf pointing to the shaker. I left the room with disappointment. I was hoping to wear the hat on the way to my locker and to the health room to get changed. I just shook the thing instead as I walked in the hallway. I walked to my locker and got my backpack and headed to the health room. I went in the bathroom and locked the door. I took off my shoes and socks and pants and threw them aside. I also took off my shirt too and my bathing suit and threw them aside. I was now in my bra and diaper. I looked at myself in the mirror. My legs looked fat and so did my thighs. Even losing twenty pounds, I still look fat. Will my legs ever look thin? I looked at my diaper too and I could tell it was wet. I couldn’t tell I had messed in it. I rubbed the outside of my diaper and walked around in it. I massaged it and kept looking at myself in the mirror. I also kept poking my fingers inside my diaper and feeling the mess. Then I would wash them in the sink. I also kept pressing the mess against my skin. I also had another accident in it and I looked in the mirror at it and also touched the outside of my diaper where the pee was hitting. Then I pushed it against my skin and rubbed it. I knew I would have to take it off soon and I would have to put on a clean one but at least I will get to pee in it again and enjoy it all over again and if I poop in it, I will also get to enjoy that again. Then I heard a knock at the door. “What?” I called. “The bell is about to ring, what are you doing in there?” Mrs. Peggy asked. “Your teacher called because he didn’t know where you were.” “I’m changing,” I said. I heard nothing else. I started to change my diaper. I had no idea I was in here that long. I used paper towels and wiped the mess off my butt and tossed them in the trash with my dirty diaper. I wished I could stick my whole butt in the sink or lift the seat up and sit inside the toilet to wash it all off. I could keep flushing it and it will wash the mess off my butt. Shame we don’t have anything to wash our butts with in bathrooms. Then I heard the bell ring. Darn I took this long in here. If only I just changed than pleasuring myself in my dirty diaper. Now I wished I had someone doing this for me. After I was done cleaning up, I put a clean diaper on me. I put it on tight as I could and made sure the tape was not close to my skin. I took one look in the mirror again at myself. I folded the top of the diaper down. I put my bathing suit on and the rest of my clothes. I put my shoes on too and washed my hands and went back to my locker. I put my backpack back in there and I had to head back to the bathroom to get the pass I left in there by mistake. The bell rang again and I was late to my next class. I returned the pass and Mr. Leaf asked me where I was. “In the bathroom?” I said. “Do you always take that long in there?” he asked. “No,” I said. “So you were cutting class?” he asked. “No,” I said. “I give you a special pass to leave to take care of your condition and you misuse it, this is not for you to use to goof off outside of class. You are to use this and take care of it and come right back, not do whatever you want.” I couldn’t even tell him what I was doing in the bathroom. I knew it did not take me that long to change a messy diaper and I had let myself get distracted and be a Pokey Little Puppy. I had goofed off in the bathroom. “Sorry,” was all I said. “Next time use what this is intended for, okay?” “Okay,” I said. “If you do have trouble with it, I need to know so I won’t think you are ditching class,” he said. “Okay,” I said. Kids were already in the room waiting for class to start and Mr. Leaf was talking to me quietly. I knew other kids wouldn’t know what he was talking about because he never really said. “Were you having troubles in there?” “Uh yeah,” I lied. “Is that why you were gone a long time?” “Yes.” “Okay. That is all I need to know. Do you always have troubles with it?” “Only for BM,” I said quietly. “Okay. I understand. I have kids so I know how hard it can be to clean up. Do you need a tardy pass from me?” “Sure,” I said. Mr. Leaf took out a note pad and wrote me a note and handed it to me. “Sorry for what you had to go through.” “Thanks,” I said as I took it from him. I grabbed my stuff and left class. The tardy bell had already rung and I headed to Science. I felt happy I got out of the situation but I felt guilty at the same time. I wasn’t honest and I had lied and gotten away with it. I always got caught with my lies when I was little because people always knew it was me. Now I was getting away with it. I went in my Science class and handed the note to Mr. Whirt. He looked at it and nodded and told me to sit down. I sat in my seat. I had my first messy diaper ever in this school and no one knew about it except for the teacher. I felt happy no one had found out. I just had to keep taking my odor pill and act normal about it and then ask to use the bathroom and they will let me leave class. I just hoped no one would ask me why I was using a special pass instead of the normal one.
During lunch, Hecate met up with me again while I was getting my lunch. “So how did it go in Mrs. Kink’s class?” “Kids were wild,” I said. “Really? Did anything happen in there?” “She made kids stand against the wall, she kept slamming her ruler on our desks, she kept yelling at us to sit still and kids kept throwing things and moving in their seats and she blamed it all on me.” “Why?” “She thinks I made all those kids act up because she says I say too much.” “That is awesome. Now wait until she finds out what happens to her car.” “What do you mean?” I asked. “You will see, we will go out to the parking lot after we are all done eating.” “Uh I have to go back to her class because I still owe her time,” I said. “I also have to see my math teacher too.” “When does your punishment end?” “I don’t know,” I said. “Oh well, we will hold the car off until your punishment ends.” “What are you guys going to do to her car?” I asked. “Oh you will see. She never locks it.” “Why can’t you tell me now?” “Because it’s easier if we tell you when it happens.” “Why?” I asked. “Remember what we said about asking a lot of questions?” “I just want to know why,” I said. “I don’t like not knowing stuff.” “Well it’s part of life, you aren’t always going to know stuff until it happens. Part of being normal. You do want to be normal right?” “Yes,” I said. “Good. Now stop asking so many questions. You’re still on probation.” Hecate went back to her group and I kept waiting in line for my food. When I got it, I ran into Jason again as I was leaving the lunch room. “Where did you go for the rest of Spanish?” he asked. “Bathroom,” I said. “How does it take you that long to go?” I had to think of a quick lie. “I wasn’t feeling good so I told Mr. Leaf and he gave me the special pass and I went and it turned out I had diarrhea so it was a lot of poop and a big mess to clean up. “ “Ewww,” he said. “I hope you did a good job wiping your butt.” “What is it with you and wiping butts?” I asked. “It stinks,” he said. “They smell like shit when they don’t wipe it all off. What was she saying to you?” “Who?” I asked. “Ashley.” “Huh?” “Hecate, whatever. What was she saying to you?” “Something about her car?” I said. “Whose car?” “Mrs. Bitch.” “What did she say about it?” “That she never locks it and what until she sees what happens to it.” “Uh oh, I don’t like the sound of that,” he said. “Why?” I asked. “It doesn’t sound good. It sounds bad.” “How?” “It just does. Those kids are bad news so anything they have on their mind is bad. They tried to get me doing anything for them even if it meant throwing a pop-it in front of this kid who has fear of loud noise just so he can have a panic attack and I had to be the one to get in trouble for it.” “Why?” “Because I was the one that did it and they didn’t.” “Why did you do it?” “Because they made me and my mom told me to stay away from them and they were not my friends and told me to dump them but I was so desperate to be normal I didn’t listen to her.” “How did they make you?” “They told me to do it and kept on telling me to and told me to just do it and kept telling me to or I can’t be with them anymore so I did it and the kid got scared and had a panic attack over the sound. I just wanted them to be happy with me and I didn’t know he would act that way.” “Why did he act that way?” “I told you, he has a fear of loud noise.” “Why?” “They said it’s because his dad died in the explosion and his family was in the military so he is afraid of fireworks and anything that explodes and any explosive sounds. Their home exploded and his dad was in it while everyone else was outside.” “Why?” “I don’t remember.” What happened to Jason reminded me of what kids did to me all the time at my old schools. Always making me do things and keeping on telling me to do it until I gave in and I had to be the one in trouble. It was only sometimes when the other kids get in trouble instead of me. Even kids in the neighborhood would make me do stuff too and I would do it just so I could be with them and having to give them my toys just so they could stay my friend. Mom and Dad hated that. I was so desperate for friends I would do anything for them and be friends with anyone even if they weren’t my true friend. Now I am not so desperate anymore. I headed to Mrs. Zeller’s to talk to her before seeing Mrs. Trunchbull but she was nowhere to be found. Her classroom was locked so I just ate my food outside her door. Maybe she will come. She might be getting her lunch and will be back. But she never came back. I finished my food and had my empty good bye tray with me and plastic fork and spoon and a napkin and milk carton. It said “Got Milk?” on the back. It felt weird eating standing. I put the stuff on the floor so I wouldn’t have to keep holding it. I kept waiting and I folded my arms. I never saw Mrs. Trunchbull and I wondered why. Maybe she forgot she gave me that punishment. Then I saw Mrs. Zeller. She saw me and said, “Oh shoot, I forgot I wanted to talk to you, how long have you been waiting?” “Since I got my food,” I said. “I’m sorry, I went out and got lunch and then ate and I forgot all about this. You have been waiting here all this time?” I nodded. “Didn’t you say you still had to see Mrs. Kink during lunch?” “Yes.” “I hope you won’t be in trouble with her for not coming to her room but I will explain it to her it was all my fault and I needed to talk to you and I wasn’t here so you waited.” Mrs. Zeller unlocked her door and went inside. I followed after her. She went to her desk and put her purse in her bottom drawer and locked it. She hung her coat up on the rack on the wall and sat down. I threw away my good bye tray in the trash right by her desk and just stood there waiting for her to start talking. She was silent. I wondered when she was going to start talking. She was just sitting at her desk and looking at some papers and getting on her computer. I notice teachers these days use computers now for their job. I started to see it around sixth grade or so and now every teacher is using one. “I will talk to her about this, don’t worry,” she said. “I thought you wanted to talk to me,” I asked. “Oh,” she looked at her watch. “I guess I have a little time so I will do it now before the bell rings. Okay, I have noticed ever since you were here, you zone in and out with my teaching and you have had some outbursts and hitting Matt last week. I think you need a better support system.” She talked to me and told me she would talk to the principal and to my parents about my current problems I have been having in her room and then she told me I was behind again and if I would be okay with Jason working with me again to have me catch up and I said sure. I still liked him as a friend even if he was mad at me. I was hoping he would get over it. The bell rang and she kept the other kids out of her class as we talked and then she was done and excused me and told me she would talk to Mrs. Kink to tell her why I didn’t come to her class. I left and went to PE. I saw Jason again. “Don’t forget game exchange tomorrow,” he told me. I was so happy to hear him say that. That meant we were still friends. Since he had brought back Brian’s old game, I could trust him with my games. For the first time I would take home one of his games. The rest of the class went fine and I had not had one other messy accident but I realized I didn’t take my odor pill during lunch so I took it after class got out. I did run into Allie but I ignored her. She tried to talk to me but I kept on walking. “I know you are mad at me,” she said. “If you wanted to try them, why didn’t you just say so, I may have given you one,” I said. “I was too scared,” she said. “So you confess?” I ask. “I didn’t take one,” she said. I growled. “You’re pissing me off with your lying,” I said. “Stop it. That’s why I don’t wanna talk to you. I hate liars.” “I was trying to hint it and you never offered me one,” she said. “How?” I asked. “By asking you what it’s like wearing them and stuff.” “Oh.” So that was why she was curious. “You were stealing them before you even asked me about it,” I said. “No I wasn’t.” “Bye,” I said and walked off fast. I thought about what else I should have said to her. I should have told her don’t talk to me until she is honest or if she wants to talk to me, don’t lie. I decided I would tell her that next time she speaks to me. I went to choir and that class went fine. Then I went to Geography. Jason is in that class too. Jason took out his Game Boy and started playing it. I wished I had mine. I peeked over his shoulder and watched him play Super Mario Bros. Deluxe. “Whoa, what is that?” I hear one of the kids ask. I turned and looked and Curtis was playing a Sega Game Gear. “It’s a Game Gear,” he replied. “Oh can I see it?” Jeremy asked. “I’m playing it,” said Curtis. I walked over to them and looked at the screen. “What are you playing?” I asked. “Mortal Kombat.” It was just another fighting game he was playing, it’s like Street Fighter. Too bad he wasn’t playing Sonic. I wished I had one but I don’t but Kate does and I only got to play it once. “That is a huge game system,” said William. “I know,” said Curtis. “Why is it big?” “Because that is how they made it.” “Why?” “Ask them.” “Whoa, that is bigger than the old Game Boy,” said Amber. The same Amber in my English. “Is it heavy?” William asked. “Of course not,” said Curtis. “Who do I ask?” William asked. “The company that made this system,” Curtis replied. “How do I know who made it?” “Sega, duh. It says right on here and on the games.” “How do I ask them?” “Write to them or call their number.” “I don’t know it.” “Look it up?” “Where?” “It always says on the boxes and in the booklets,” I said. “What?” “What the games come in when you buy them and the instruction manual,” said Curtis. William said nothing else. I went back to Jason. I just watched him play until the bell rang. I went to my seat and sat down.
During Drama, Mrs. Giland made an announcement and told us she would like to have some volunteers in her class to help with the play. She would like costumes to be made and some artists so if we know anyone who is a good artist or can make costumes, or can donate their stuff to us for us to borrow for the play, that will be great since there wasn’t enough people who could make costumes or draw the set. She also said she would send letters home with us to give to our parents so they could help out if they want and we are free to ask our friends or neighbors for help too or other family. She passed out the letters to each of us. I read it and stuck it in my binder.
After school, I headed to my van and got in. Gary was mean to me on the way home again so I have had it when he called me an ass burger again so I slugged him. I got him in the face and his head fell sideways after I hit him. His mouth opened in shock. “What the,” he said. “I am so sick of you treating me differently than others,” I yelled at him. “Why do you keep calling me that? What did I ever do to you to make you hate me?” “Hey hey hey,” Sam yelled. “Natalie, you will not be riding my van tomorrow and I am telling the school and your parents. Well Gary, I hope you finally learned something.” But I didn’t care. I felt proud for defending myself. Maybe he will leave me alone now and stop treating me bad and calling me an ass burger. “Oh Garry, I can’t believe you got hit by a girl,” said Mark. “Shut up,” he yelled holding his nose. “Hey, enough, not another word about this,” Sam scolded. Blood was dripping from Gary’s nose. Sam handed him a Kleenex. Gary took it and put his over his nose. I noticed some blood on my knuckle so I wiped it on Gary since it was his blood. He pulled away from me. “Don’t touch me,” he yelled. “Natalie, hands off,” Sam scolded. I looked at my hand again and saw no blood. Satisfied, I sat back and put my seat belt back on. When it was my turn to be dropped off, Sam came up to our front door to talk to my parents. Only Mom was home so he talked to her. I overheard him saying “This boy had been giving her trouble since the day she started riding with us and she finally got him good but I have to follow school policy.” I noticed Mom had already put up Christmas stuff. I just saw the Christmas models and candles and some decorations and the window stickers on the windows. We always put up Christmas stuff right after Thanksgiving. I saw the boxes out and they were all stacked up by the hallway in the kitchen and family room. I bet Dad was going to throw a fit about that. It will be a mess for him. I put my stuff away and went in the den and played more of my Nintendo 64.
Mom never said anything to me about the van incident. I figured she would later or she was going to let me get away with it. I was in Kelly’s room on the computer visiting AB/DL sites again. I liked seeing pictures of other people in them but I preferred women than men. I just felt women were cuter as babies and in their diapers and I preferred stories about women and girls wearing them too. It’s because I’m a girl so of course I wanted stories of girls in them and pictures too. I rubbed the outside of my wet diaper. I hadn’t put on a cloth one yet because it hadn’t been four hours yet. Then Mom called me downstairs.
“What?” I shouted.
“Telephone, it’s Denise and she wants to talk to you,” said Mom.
I got up and left the computer and went downstairs. Denise was probably calling me to ask about Allie and me accusing her of lying to me and being mad at her but I would just tell her how she had been stealing diapers and mine and how she used me. Mom had the phone in her hand and she was standing at the staircase waiting at the bottom. I took it from her as I passed by. “Hello?”
“Natalie,” said Denise. “This is Allie’s mother calling, Denise.”
Mom went back to the kitchen and I went in the living room and paced around.
“I was looking through my daughter’s room and I found one of your diapers in there during Thanksgiving and you guys were away so I didn’t call. Allie told me you had been giving her your diapers.”
So that was why she called.
“No I haven’t,” I said.
“Okay, that is why I called to ask. I also found some other diapers in the trash when I decided to look and found more and I was mad at her.”
“She had been stealing them,” I said. “That is why she wanted me over there so she could take one from me and I haven’t spoken to her since, well except for online and at school today but she was lying to me about it so I blocked her and she lied to me again in school so I walked away from her.”
“I am very mad at her about it and how long has she been doing this do you know?”
“No,” I said.
“Put your mom back on the phone,” she said.
“Mom, she wants to talk to you again,” I said.
“Hand it to me,” she said from the kitchen.
I walked in the kitchen and handed her the phone. She was in there cooking.
Mom took the phone from me and said, “Hello…yeah.”
I then walked away and went back to the computer. I was on it for a few minutes when Mom called me again.
“What?” I called.
“Come back down here.”
I went back downstairs and Mom asked, “Do you have any idea what kind of consequence Allie should get?”
I shrugged.
Mom got back on the phone again. “She doesn’t know….what?”
Then Mom said to me, “No suggestions of losing video games or anything clever for a punishment? This is your call. She stole from you so you get to pick what should happen to her.”
Then an idea popped in my head. Allie had told me how lucky I was to be incontinent and how she wished she was so I said “Allie has told me how lucky I am to wear diapers and not have to take a potty break and how she wishes she was incontinent so I think she should live as one.”
“What?” Mom asked.
“Have her be incontinent like me,” I said.
“Natalie, I don’t think Denise would want to hurt her daughter just so she can share your condition.”
“No,” I said. “She should wear diapers like you did with Dad when he crashed into the bank and made all the bathrooms off limits and she has to do everything in her diaper like you made Dad do. Then she will see what it’s like wearing them and how it feels to be incontinent. Then she wouldn’t want to wear them anymore.”
“My daughter just said she thinks you should give your daughter diapers and have her live like she is incontinent so she can see what it’s like…oh when my husband crashed into the bank, I was so furious with him I put him in diapers for a week and made all the toilets off limits, I kept them locked and if our kids needed to use the bathroom, they had to ask for the key. It was a great week and I guess our kids knew about it when we tried to keep it discreet…..I had my personal reason for it and I felt better with myself. He complained about the cost of them but I told him he has no problem with the cost of his drinking but yet he is worried about the cost of diapers.”
They talked more and then Mom said “Don’t humiliate her with it, just buy a good brand and have her take an odor pill so she won’t smell at school when she poops and you can buy the pills at the Saltwater Medical Supply store here. Natalie uses Comfort Care for her protection and those hold her good and there is also Molicare and those things are expensive but they hold a lot. They never leak.”
Mom and Denise talked more.
“I change her every time she gets up for school and I changed her all the time until she was fifteen but now it’s only for school and I still change her occasionally at other times. Since your daughter likes wetting diapers, she shouldn’t have a problem sitting in a wet one because Natalie does it all the time and she also sits in messy ones too. Has Allie ever dirtied any of them…oh. Well she is going to have to get used to it.”
I started to giggle and I put my hand over my mouth.
They kept talking and then Mom said “I wonder how long it will take for her to get sick of them. I think her going to school in them will be a punishment enough and her having to go in her pants and messing in them. Wow, that long. I only made mine go a week and it didn’t take him long to adjust to it. It took him nearly a whole week and then he was upset when it ended, I hope it doesn’t backfire with you. A month is a long time. I will be curious to see how it goes for her and I would to hear about it….He was upset about it because he said I showed him love actually and affection rather than acting cold and distant and uninterested….I like him in them and changing them is fun but he doesn’t want to do it all the time and he knows to have a normal wife, he has to wear one.”
Mom kept talking and I found the image in my head creepy about Dad wearing them and Mom changing him. Could things get any worse in this family? Mom was laughing about what she did to Dad during that week she made him wear them and she even took pictures of him in them to make sure he obeys her or she shows them to everyone in her family and mail them to his family and she could bring it to their neighbors too if he pushes it. “He was telling our kids he goes outside like Skippy and Matthew wanted to go outside too like them…what?...I just made him take pictures of his used ones…I always kept track of how many we had…Okay bye.”
Mom hung up.
“Well Natalie, Denise liked your idea after all so Allie will be wearing diapers for a month and Denise will be getting the stuff. Let’s see how that goes for her. Making her wear them, I never thought of it. This will be nothing I went through as a child.”
I couldn’t stop laughing. I felt excited about all this and I was imagining Allie wearing them and being so embarrassed having to poop in them and pee and walking around wet and I tell her “Don’t worry Alison, you will get used to it like I did.” I also wondered how long she kept them on for before taking them off. I will no longer be the only one in diapers and it will be so much fun seeing her in them and how she likes it. I wonder how she will hide them under her clothes since her clothes are different than mine.
“I wonder if she will end up liking it and not want to quit wearing them,” I said.
“I don’t know,” said Mom. “I think her wearing them to school and her being afraid of other kids finding out, how she is going to change, how is she going to take all that?”
“That is why she will see how it’s no fun having to wear them,” I said. “Then she won’t keep wishing she is incontinent so she can wear them. And changing them used to be hard and I wonder if it was ever hard for her to put them on and how is she going to deal with changing her messy diapers?”
“You might find out. Denise also told me to tell you to not tell Allie about this, she wants it to be a surprise.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, I forgot to ask.”
Mom continued making dinner. I kept laughing about all this.
“You find this all funny?” Mom asked.
I just kept on laughing. I pictured Allie wearing diapers and her pooping and peeing in them. I was starting to feel better and didn’t feel so mad at her anymore for using me and betraying me.
“I guess this is all funny,” said Mom. “’You wanna wear diapers, here wear them for a whole month and the toilets are off limits.’ ‘So you wanna smoke huh, here smoke the whole pack and don’t stop smoking until you have used up the whole pack.’”
“Huh, smoking?” I asked.
“Oh that was something my uncle made my cousin do when he caught him smoking one of his cigarettes when I was a kid. I remember being little about five or six and I saw him being made to smoke a cigarette and my uncle was telling him to smoke all of them and I was standing there and watching him not even understanding what was going on. It’s just an old fashioned punishment parents used to do. It’s dumb because they’re toxic so why would you make your kid smoke the others? Back then people didn’t even know they were bad for you.”
“But what does it got to do with this?” I asked.
“Nothing. Sorry. I do that. At least diapers don’t give you cancer.”
I was still at lost what she was talking about. I hate it when she does this.
“But why did you start talking about it?” I asked.
“I don’t know.”
I went back upstairs.
“Kelly, guess what?” I said laughing.
“No I don’t want to guess,” she said.
She was in Mom and Dad’s room watching TV and doing her homework.
“Denise found out Allie had been stealing diapers so she is going to make her wear them for a month and she won’t be allowed to use the bathroom.”
“That’s gross,” she said.
“Why?” I asked.
I was shocked at her response.
“She has to wear them and poop and pee in them and I can’t imagine having to do that. Why would she want to wear them anyway?”
“She doesn’t like taking potty breaks and stopping what she is doing to go or even look for a restroom to go,” I said.
“That is so lazy.”
“She is a diaper wannabe.”
“So how is this going to be a punishment for her if she now gets to wear them?” Kelly asked.
“Because she has to wear them all the time and even wear them to school and have to poop and pee in them there and hope other kids will never find out. How will she even change them too? She might go to the private bathroom to do it so no one can hear her taking it off,” I said. “She gets to see what it’s like to be incontinent.”
“Nu uh, she will still have bladder control so she can just hold it, same as having to go number two and then decide to go at a certain time when she feels it’s safe.”
Uh oh, I never thought of that. She could just hold it so it’s not like if her diaper is about to leak, it will leak because she can’t just hold it if she has to go again and wait until she changes and then let it out.
“But having to hold it is uncomfortable so she might have good luck with that,” said Kelly.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“What I mean is she won’t have a choice but to let it out to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling.”
“What does it feel like when you have to go?” I asked.
“Don’t you remember back when you had control?”
“No,” I said. “What does it feel like?”
“I feel it in my stomach and it grumbles except it’s a different grumble than hunger.”
“How is that uncomfortable?”
“It just is.”
“I don’t remember that feeling.”
I left and went in Matthew’s room and asked him, “Matthew, how does it feel when you have to go poop?”
“Like someone is shoving something up my ass,” he said.
“What do you mean, what is it like?”
“It hurts like someone is sticking something up there. Why are you asking this?”
“I’m curious, Kelly says it’s uncomfortable when she holds it.”
“It is. It hurts and it hurts to sit on your butt when you have poop that is ready to come out and wants to come out. It’s worse if you’re constipated because that feeling never goes away and you can’t get the turd out.”
“So you never feel it in your stomach when you have to go?” I asked.
“No. I feel it in my butt where the poop comes out.”
“What does it feel like?” I asked.
“Like I have to poop.”
“But what does that feel like?” I asked.
“I don’t know. How does it feel to have a vagina?”
“What?”
“How does it feel to have one, what is it like?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
“See, I don’t even know how to explain what it’s like having to go poo, it’s is so normal.”
I tried think how to explain what it’s like having a vagina.
“I can’t even feel anything down there,” I said.
“What is it like not having a penis?” Matthew asked.
“I feel nothing down there, nothing hanging. Those things must be uncomfortable when you sit on them or bump it.”
“Not really. It hurts to be kicked down there though. A boy from my class did it to me when I was in second grade.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. He just did.”
“Which boy was it?” I asked.
“John Lovidge,” he said.
“What were you two doing when he did it?” I asked.
“We were fighting and he was grabbing me and wouldn’t leave me alone so I was grabbing him back and he kicked me there.”
“Did he get in trouble?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Grown-ups didn’t see it.”
“Why?”
“We were on the playground.”
“Why didn’t you tell one of the duty ladies?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why were you fighting?”
“He was bothering me and wouldn’t leave me alone.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“What were you doing when he started to bother you?”
“I was swinging on the tire and he came along and started to bug me.”
“Why?”
“I told you, I don’t know.”
“Allie is going to be wearing diapers like me now,” I said.
“What happened?”
“Her mom found out she had been stealing them and I said she should wear them like me to see what it’s like to be incontinent and her mom liked it and is going to be getting her diapers and she won’t be allowed to use the bathroom. It will last a month,” I said.
“Does that mean she will wear them to school?” Matthew asked.
“Yep,” I said.
“Wow.”
“This is going to be so fun I can’t wait to see her in them,” I said. “I wonder how she will handle when she has to poop.”
“I don’t know.”
“What is it like having a penis?” I asked.
“Normal,” he said.
“But what is it like?”
“Normal.”
“Do you feel it hanging?”
“No.”
“Do you ever feel it on you?” I asked.
“Only when it gets hard.”
“What is that like?”
“Like it’s hard and my underwear feels tighter. The Sixth graders at school call it pitching a tent.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you feel your penis now?”
“No.”
“So you feel nothing down there?”
“No.”
“You don’t feel it hanging either?”
“Nope.”
“So I guess it never gets in the way and you never sit on your balls by accident?”
“Nope.”
“Wow, I bet you will feel it when your penis gets big because it changes when you start puberty and it turns into a guy’s penis,” I said.
Matthew’s eyes widened.
“I still remember seeing Dad’s when I was little and it was always huge and hanging and yours is small.”
“You have never seen my penis.”
“Yes I have, when you were little and Kelly and I had to change your diaper a few times. I remember Mom telling us to do it for her and you were on the floor and I was trying to pick out a diaper to put on you because I couldn’t make up my mind which one to put on you and they were all the same but I was being a blonde and I remember you peed on Kelly and found it hilarious and she was mad at you and I was so glad I wasn’t on the floor waiting for a diaper and I also remember seeing you naked. Now I only see you in your underwear.”
Then I left his room and went back to Kelly’s room. I did more internet and chatted online again and told one of my online friends about Allie’s punishment.
“Really?” Tazmania85 asked.
“Yes,” I wrote.
“Seriously,” he asked.
“Yes,” I said.
“Wow just like I have always read in the stories.”
There have been some stories I have read online about kids having to wear diapers because it was a punishment or because they wanted to wear them so the rule was they had to wear them all the time then.
“But she took my diapers and had been stealing others and now she gets to wear them,” I wrote.
“You could write a story about that and post it online,” Tazmania85 wrote.
“I know nothing about her family and life,” I wrote.
“No you could make it up, make up a character and have her wear them as a punishment for stealing them and make up her life and family and characters.”
“Oh.” We talked more until Kelly came in her room and ordered me off her computer so she could use it for homework. “Okay you need to get off the computer now, I need it for my homework,” she said as she walked over to me.
“Use the one downstairs,” I said.
“I want to do homework in here so get off.”
“Why do you need it for homework?”
“I got to type this paper here and we have a word program on here so off please.”
Kelly had a piece of paper in her hand and she held it up in the air as she spoke.
“Why do you have to do it in here?” I asked.
“Natalie, please?” she said.
“There is an open one downstairs,” I said.
“Natalie, I just want some quiet time is all and want to be alone. Mom is in the kitchen cooking and I can’t type with her going crazy from the keys being hit on the keyboard and her telling me to hurry up and asking me when I am done and why couldn’t I do it up here.”
“Why didn’t you say so?” I said.
“Do I always have to tell you every reason why? You know our mother is bothered by everything because she can’t even ignore it or block anything out so did I even have to tell you?”
“I guess.”
“You guess? I always have to give you a reason why for everything, it’s like you never think for yourself and we all have to tell you. Why can’t you just accept it and say yes without questioning it?”
“I like to know things than being ordered around for nothing,” I said.
“You’re not the only person living here so there will be others who will need to use something you’re using and you have been on the computer for a while already and homework is very important so I didn’t even need to tell you why.”
“But we have an extra one and you have used it with Mom down there before and she didn’t have any problem.”
“Just get off please,” said Kelly. “Besides you have your James Bond and video games, play those.”
“I got to go,” I wrote to Tazmania85. “Sister needs it for homework. That poor thing.”
“Lol. Okay bye,” he typed.
“Very funny Natalie,” said Kelly.
“What?” I asked. “What’s funny?”
“That poor thing,” she said.
“What are you doing reading my conversation?” I scolded.
“You wrote the words for me to see,” she said.
“No I didn’t, you were just looking at the screen,” I said.
“I didn’t look at it intentionally, I just happened to see it. Now let’s get one thing straight sis, I don’t mind homework. I am not you so no need to be all sarcastic about it, okay?”
“I wasn’t sarcastic,” I said.
“Well whatever. ‘That poor thing’ sounded like sarcasm.”
“How?”
“It just did.”
I signed off and got out of my chair. Kelly sat down and opened Writer’s Workshop. I also saw her logging onto AOL.
Kelly is very weird because she loves homework. I was glad I didn’t have any. I get to be on the computer more and play more videogames. I Ieft her bedroom and went downstairs and got GoldenEye and decided to watch it. I watched it in the den where the VCR was now. I just sat down on the floor on top of the cushions from our old couch we used to have. Then I turned on our old computer we have had since I was eight and played Minesweeper. I have never won that game because I keep hitting the wrong square and all the mines go off and I have to start over. I have never seen anyone win the game. I wonder what happens if you win. We also have the game on our other computers. I got bored with it and quit and tried playing a card game. I was never good at it and always found it boring but I played it anyway sometimes. I just move each card to each spot until it’s the right one. I never understood the rules for it and everyone else seems to know how to play it including Mom. I also could never learn to play Chess. It never got stuck in my head about the rules and what move each piece does. It always floats from my brain. I am also not able to read notes well and never could learn them well either so that is why I am not in band. But yet I was able to learn to read and read roman numerals and can learn Spanish and I am able to spell. I also could never learn algebra. It all makes me feel so stupid.
I got bored of the game and clicked out of it. I played the ski game next until some monster came and ate my guy. I could never avoid that guy. I clicked out of that game and played Rodents Revenge. I played some other games including other card games we have on here and I played Pipe Dream. I remember that game for the old Nintendo. We used to rent it sometimes. After I was done with the games, I clicked out of the games and clicked out of everything and shut down the computer. My tummy grumbled for food. I looked at the time out in the family room and saw it was only six forty two. Mom was finished cooking because she had the kitchen cleaned up with stuff in the sink. Mom was just sitting on the couch reading. I went back in the den and watched more of my movie. I masturbated in my wet diaper again on the cushions. Then I heard something falling off the shelf. I looked and saw it was the camera bag. Then an idea popped in my head. I remembered the time Kelly put on one of my diapers when she was ten and I made her keep it on so I took movies and photos of her to make sure she would keep it on and use it. But then Mom and Dad came home and they made me erase the movie and Dad destroyed the photos when they were developed and Kelly got to use the bathroom and not my diaper. I could take pictures of Allie wearing diapers and I could take movies of her. I could be her friend again just to take pictures and movies and be in control of her or I show everyone. But how would I sneak the movie camera to school? I turned on the movie camera and looked inside the eye piece and saw the movie. It was us at the reunion. I could see us going hiking and there was me and Matthew and Kelly and Brian was with us and there was my Mom. I also saw my relatives; Grandma Del with Grandpa and Aunt Celeste, Aunt Bridgett and my cousins, Amber, Timmy, Jesse, and Jaymee. I also saw Aunt Elizabeth and uncle Tom. I also saw one of their kids, Kent. He was with his wife and kids. I fastened forward though the parts until I got to the blank part of the tape and hit stop and turned the camera off. I put it back in the bag and closed it and pushed it back on the counter. I wasn’t going to put it back on the shelf again and have it fall off again. I was really really feeling better and no longer felt angry at Allie and I felt I had forgiven her. Then the phone rang and Mom answered it and then she left to get Dad. I looked for the camera and couldn’t find it so I paused the movie and went in Mom and Dad’s room. Matthew was in there watching Jurassic Park.
“What are you looking for?” Matthew asked.
“Nothing,” I said.
“So why you are looking?”
“Because.”
“Why?”
“I want to.”
I kept looking and then I looked in the closet and I found all my diapers. They were just all piled up in there on the floor and I saw the new box with my diapers in it that came while we were in Montana. I looked in a small box I saw and I found a different camera, it’s the kind of camera that doesn’t take film and we have had it for a few years since we have had the new computer in the kitchen. I turned it on and looked at it and it had a screen on it and I saw photos on it. I browsed through them and found a lot of dirty diapers and I also saw other photos I don’t even want to say but it did make me laugh because it was too weird and funny. But it was what my mom said on the phone to Denise. I decided to take it and bring it to school with me. I hid it under my shirt and made sure the box was put back and everything looked the same and left. Matthew was too busy watching his movie he didn’t even know I was hiding something. I took it to my room and tested it to make sure it still worked and to figure out how to take pictures and save them. I messed with it and figured it out. Then Mom and Dad were home. I hid the camera in my drawer. I felt some evil in my eyes.
“Don’t mess with the 'retard.'”
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Post by Bad Beth on Jun 25, 2014 17:16:10 GMT
Chapter 34
We were all getting seated at the table and Matthew came running downstairs asking Dad, “Daddy Daddy, what is it like having a penis?”
“Matthew that is a strange question because you have one yourself,” said Dad.
“But Natalie said I will feel it when it gets bigger,” said Matthew.
“Natalie, what were you telling your brother?” Dad asked.
“I asked him what is it like to have one and he wouldn’t tell me and I said I bet he will feel it when he gets to puberty because it will turn into a guy’s penis,” I said.
“No I do not feel anything down there,” said Dad to Matthew.
“Not even when you walk or sit?” I asked.
“No.”
“What about when it sticks out?”
“Yes then I feel it.”
“What’s it like.”
“Hard to describe.”
“Why?”
“It just is?”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t know how to describe it okay,” said Dad. “I don’t have words for it.”
“Mom, what’s it like having a vagina?” Matthew asked.
“I don’t know,” said Mom.
“Kelly, what is it like having one?” Matthew asked.
“Nothing,” she said looking at her calculator. She still had her homework with her at the table and she was working on Math.
“What’s it like having boobs, Natalie?” Matthew asked me. “What’s it like wearing a bra?”
“You’re going to have to try one on,” I said.
“But I don’t have any breasts.”
“Stuff the bra,” said Kelly.
“I don’t feel them either,” said Mom. “It gets uncomfortable if they bounce and I am not wearing a bra so that is why we wear them and why we have sport bras.”
“What’s it like peeing not standing?” Matthew asked.
“Oh we can do that too,” said Mom. “Some women do it because they don’t like sitting on public toilets so they stand over them and pee in them.”
“How do they do it without a penis?”
“They stand over the toilet and do it, not in front of it.”
“How do you know?” I asked.
“I’ve heard it.”
“Mom, what is it like when you have to go pee?” I asked.
“Like I can’t hold it,” she said.
“But what does it feel like?”
“Like I have to go?”
“But does it hurt when you have to go, what does it feel like?”
“It doesn’t hurt.”
“Dad, how does it feel when you have to go?” I asked.
“It’s uncomfortable,” said Dad. “The longer you hold it, the more uncomfortable it gets and then it feels like your bladder is going to burst.”
“But does it hurt?”
“No it doesn’t hurt, it’s just uncomfortable.”
“But how does it feel?”
“I don’t know Natalie, it’s hard to answer.”
“Why?” I asked.
“It just is, I can’t even describe it, it’s hard to explain.”
“Why?”
“It just is, some questions you ask are impossible to answer because we don’t know how to describe it.”
We started eating. I fantasized about Allie’s punishment. I pictured myself making her show me her diaper and I snap a picture of it and I also make her tell me all about her pooping and peeing in them and I will make her mess her diaper in class or I show everyone the photos and I may make her not take her odor pills so she can stink and she will see what it was like to mess in class and stink like it has happened to me. I will also make her have her diaper leak so she can see what it’s like. I will also push her poop on her butt to make it messier so she has a bigger mess to clean up or get changed by the school nurse.
“What are you smiling about, Natalie?” Dad asked.
“Nothing,” I said quickly.
“You seemed very happy there like you have something on your mind. Something that is not good.”
“No,” I said.
“She thought of a good punishment for Allie but it will be more of a lesson to her,” said Mom.
“Oh, for what?” Dad asked.
“Stealing her diapers.”
“What is she going to learn?”
“How it feels to have to wear them and not have a choice.”
“Oh man,” he sighed.
“Why is it oh man?” I asked.
“Like you tried to do to Kelly, remember that?” Dad asked.
“But she gets to wear for a whole month,” I said.
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Says who?”
“Me.”
“Denise agreed to it,” said Mom. “She thought it was wonderful and came up with some ideas and I helped her with it.”
“What ideas?” I asked.
“I told her how I handled your medical condition so she would know how to treat Allie during it and what I did to your father.”
“Anita,” Dad shouted.
“They already knew,” said Mom.
“What? Did you tell them?”
“No, they figured it out. Kids know more than we think.”
“Know what?” Matthew asked.
“Wearing diapers,” I said.
Dad sighed. “So they all know I was pissing and shitting myself for a week?”
“Dad, really?” Kelly asked. “That is so disgusting.”
“Your mum made me do it, her and her humiliating ideas. Thank your Grandma Del for it,” Dad yelled.
Matthew started laughing. “First you were peeing outside like Skippy and now you were wearing diapers.”
“Jesus Anita, they didn’t know and now they do.”
“I thought they all knew, Natalie mentioned about it when she was telling me how Allie should be punished and I didn’t know she knew,” said Mom.
“Of course she knew, you were loud about it when you brought me home from jail remember? She isn’t stupid. I hope they don’t know everything.”
“Everything what?” I asked.
“Nothing, none of your business,” said Dad. “Jeaz, I can’t believe you’re going to make another child wear them.”
“We’re not making her, Denise is,” said Mom.
“It was your idea,” said Dad.
“No, it was Natalie’s, I wouldn’t have thought about it.”
“And where do you think she got that from?”
“Her head of course.”
“No, from you. You do these sorts of things and our children pick up on it and do it too. Children model their parents behavior.”
“It’s nothing I went through as a child Allie is going to be going through,” said Mom.
“Well they live out in the country.”
“I told her to not humiliate her kid with it.”
“Well she might still be humiliated anyway if she has to wear them now. Think of anyone that comes over and she can’t take them off or worrying about kids in school finding out.”
“She should have thought of that before,” said Mom.
“Oh god.”
Kelly closed her Math book and grabbed her work.
“What are you doing?” Dad asked.
“I can’t stand sitting at this table listening to this,” she said.
“Kelly?”
“I don’t care about your gay marriage so I don’t wanna hear what you guys do to each other. It’s bad enough I see you two beat each other up like children.”
“But Dad is a boy and Mom is a girl,” I said. “Dad isn’t a woman and Mom isn’t a guy.”
“Oh I didn’t mean that, I don’t care about your…your stupid marriage. Why can’t you two be normal parents, god,” and Kelly walked away.
“Teens,” said Mom.
We continued eating and then I asked. “What is it like when you have to go poopy? How does it feel?”
“I feel it in my butt and it hurts,” sad Mom.
“But what does it feel like?”
“Like I have poop up there that needs to come out.”
“Dad, what is it like when you have to poop?” I asked.
“I feel bloated and gassy,” said Dad.
“But does it hurt?”
“The gas feels uncomfortable.”
“What does it feel like?”
“Like I have to fart.”
“What is it like when you have to fart?”
“It’s very hard to explain to someone who cannot feel when they have to go.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s complicated.”
“Why?”
“Natalie, it just is, I don’t know how else to explain it.”
“Mom, do you?” I asked.
“What?” she asked.
“What is it like when you fart?”
“It just comes out, I feel gassy and it comes out.”
“Why is it hard to explain to me how it feels to go when I can’t feel anything?”
“Because it’s hard to understand and imagine the feeling and we don’t have words to describe it to make you understand,” said Mom.
“You’re mum is better at answering these questions than me,” said Dad. “You know how hard it is sometimes when you can’t express yourself? Like that. That is how it feels for others when they can’t explain it.”
It must be frustrating for them too when they also can’t express what it’s like.
“I am going to have to take Natalie to school tomorrow and pick her up,” said Mom. “She got herself suspended from riding the van for the rest of the week.”
Dad slammed his hand on the table and everything on it shook. Matthew jumped and so did Mom. Matthew actually dropped his fork with food on it on the floor and Skippy came and licked it up.
“Natalia, what did you do this time?” Dad shouted. “Can’t you stay out of trouble? What is the matter with you?”
“Glen, please,” said Mom shaking.
“I don’t believe this Anita, we have fines I have to pay and this is what she does? Now we have to waste gas now to get her to school and back. This is just wonderful.”
“You’re the one who chose to drink and drive,” said Mom.
“What did she do this time?”
Matthew got up and left the kitchen with his food. Skippy followed after him.
“Sheeee…punched a boy,” Mom said slowly.
“Why Natalie why?” Dad shouted.
“He was treating me different,” I said.
“Glen, that boy had been giving her trouble since day one and she has ignored it all this time and she finally snapped,” said Mom.
“I don’t know why this keeps happening in our family,” Dad kept yelling. “Always trouble, Matthew gets kicked out of class because the substitute teacher decided on social studies instead of computer lab so he has his thing which they called a meltdown and he hit his head and had to go to the office for it and he comes home with a bruise on his forehead and they didn’t even tell us, Kelly goes to a friend’s house without telling you and she writes a letter about this whole family, and Natalie runs away nowhere, Matthew and her both do mean tricks on her, Natalie punches a boy in class, ran away from school, shoves kids in the hall, gives her teacher a hard time, got kicked out of her other school, got herself arrested, Matthew got sent to the office for not participating in PE because he didn’t like the game they were playing and he gets kicked off the playground because he choked another boy and then we find out he is getting Fs because he wasn’t doing his schoolwork and you do your stupid revenge and blackmail and encourage our kids to do it too and giving the silent treatment and letting our daughter call her sister a dumb blonde and what happened in Montana with Gladys and your mother too, oooo she doesn’t even care you wet your trousers and thinks it’s nothing and said this is all my fault. Everything is so wrong with this family.”
“And you’re an alcoholic and OCD,” I said. “We always have to sit in the same spot and have our food in certain places and wait on you to check everything five times before leaving and I hear you walking around a lot checking everything, you crashed into the bank and drank and drove-“
“Shut up,” Dad yelled.
Mom was doing her Mom thing again and she shook her arms and rocked in her chair and pulled on her hair and her own head yanked back and she fell out of her chair.
Dad stopped his yelling and rushed on the floor and touched Mom and she started to attack him instead so he grabbed her and Mom clawed at him and started screaming like someone was trying to kidnap her. I was scared what I was witnessing. Mom kept on scratching at Dad and hitting and pinching and Dad just kept grabbing at her and trying to hold her arms. Kelly and Matthew came running downstairs and so did Skippy and saw the pandemonium. I didn’t even notice them until Kelly yelled, “What is going on here?”
“They’re fighting again,” I said.
Dad yelled “ahhhh” and got away from Mom finally pushing himself away and she stayed on the floor curled up in a ball.
“What happened?” Matthew asked.
“Your mother fell out of the chair after pulling her hair and I tried to see if she was alright and she started attacking me,” said Dad looking at his arm.
“Why?”
“I don’t know, she just did.”
Dad went to the sink and turned the water on put water on his arm.
“What are you doing?” Kelly asked.
“Soaking the part where she bit me,” he said.
“Why?” Matthew asked again.
“She just did. Everyone just leave her be. I don’t want her attacking any of you too. Oh great, I have bite marks on my skin now and she ripped it open, how am I going to explain at work where I got them? I am not telling them my wife did it.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because then they will think she abuses me all the time-no they will think I abuse her and she did this in self-defense. I’ll just put a bandage over it and say I cut myself.”
“Why would they think you abuse her?” I asked.
“Because people love to make the worst assumptions and lot of people don’t think men can be beaten by their wives and also be the victims of domestic violence.”
“Why?”
“Because men are stronger than women so how can they get abused by a woman? We’re stronger than them so we can stop them and I can restrain your mum but it wears me down when I have to hold her and hold her arms and legs so she won’t keep beating me but how can I restrain her when she is throwing things or when she hits me unexpectedly. She has given me a black eye before and I told everyone I was doing a fistfight with Brian because we were playing and he accidentally got me there.”
“You throw things too, Dad,” said Kelly.
“Because she does it.”
“You’ve thrown stuff at us.”
“No I haven’t.”
“Yes you have after you had too much to drink,” I said. “Then you get mean to Mom and she runs from you and locks herself in a room and you get mad about it too.”
Dad didn’t say anything else. He just showed us his bite mark Mom left after he got done washing it and it was just two blood spots and teeth marks. I could tell she bit him hard.
“Cool,” Matthew said.
“No it’s not cool, it hurt,” said Dad.
I didn’t say anything about the mark. Cool was the wrong word to use. I wonder what would be the right word to say.
“Another family meal ruined,” Kelly sighed. “This is maybe the two hundredth time this year since the millennium.”
“No, the real millennium won’t be for another thirty five days,” said Matthew. “It always starts with the year one and ends with a zero so 2001is the real millennium and the beginning of the twenty first century and then it won’t be for another nine hundred and ninety nine years for the next millennium and another ninety nine years for the next century so that would be…”
“I don’t care about your stupid numbers,” said Kelly.
But Matthew kept on going saying how many days and months it would be and doing all the math sounding like a math genius.
Kelly covered her ears. I felt stupid because I will never be that good at math. Ever since he had learned to count and then learn the math problems, he picked up on it fast and then every math assignment was too easy for him and Mom and Dad just had to encourage it by asking him things like how many apples are there, if they take four away how many are there now, and he would count and say the answer.
“That’s very impressive Matthew but not everyone likes to hear all that,” said Dad.
“I wish I was that smart,” I said.
“I can’t do all that either, Natalie and am I stupid?” Dad asked.
“I can’t do it either,” said Kelly.
“Lot of people can’t do it that fast,” said Dad.
“But how come he can?” I asked.
“Some people are just good at math,” said Dad.
“Like I am good with drawing and jigsaw puzzles,” said Kelly. “But Mom’s better at it than I am though.”
“And I’m good at nothing,” I said.
“You nailed us in Memory,” said Kelly. “But yet you can’t even remember what videogame systems my friends have.”
“Or remember I have told you to do something,” said Dad.
“Or remember to change your diaper. I still wonder how you can forget with all the poop and pee you do in them.”
“I bet she likes it,” said Matthew.
“I do not,” I lied.
“Well you never change and you would if you didn’t like it, how can you forget?”
“I get busy so I forget.”
“You’re good at soccer,” said Kelly.
“That took practice,” I said.
“So, not everyone can do it.”
“I doubt I will ever be a pro player.”
Dad smirked. “Lot of people don’t make the pro team. You have to be really really good. Very few get on the team.”
“If we were all given a bunch of pictures to look at and then we all had to remember how many items we could remember, you would win Natalie,” said Kelly. “You were always beating me at those Fun Pad games and I could never get you out in that one Mario Party 2 mini game.”
“You did once because I got distracted,” I said.
“But you’re still good at it.”
“You were good at pottery when you took it,” said Dad.
“I was just doing everything the teacher was doing,” I said.
“But it was good for someone who was a first timer and for how old you were.”
“Mom would be better I bet.”
“Can you at least take a compliment?” Dad asked.
“I am,” I said.
“No I mean just say thank you and nothing else than being all critical about it.”
“But it’s not anything I am really good at, not good as Mom or Matthew at something,” I said.
“They’re both savants.”
“I wish I was so I won’t be left out,” I said.
“Kelly, Brian, or me aren’t either and only very few people are, Natalie,” said Dad.
I still wish I had a savant skill. I didn’t even know Mom and Matthew were until now. I didn’t know anyone could be a savant, I thought only autistic people were but Grandma Del says Uncle John has none and that is just a rare condition. I also thought it only had to be with music.
“I thought savant was with playing the piano without learning the music or hearing a song once and knowing it by heart,” I said.
“No,” said Dad.
Mom got off the floor and climbed back into her chair. I took my odor pill. I saw it was close to eight.
“Okay, everyone ready to get back to the table?” Dad asked.
“No I am good, I am not hungry anymore,” said Kelly.
“Me neither,” said Matthew.
“I’m done,” I said.
“Okay fine, meal time is over,” said Dad. “Everyone bring their plates to the sink.”
“But mine is upstairs,” said Matthew.
“Go get it and bring it down.”
Matthew and Kelly both went upstairs. I brought my plate to the sink.
“Don’t forget your cup and silverware,” said Dad.
I rolled my eyes and sighed and went back and got them. I brought them back and went upstairs to shower.
I grabbed my pajamas and cloth diaper and headed to the bathroom.
“Matthew, what is your plate doing on the stairs?” Dad yelled.
“I brought it down,” Matthew shouted.
“Bring it to the sink, jesus boy and bring your cup too.”
I showered and got out and put on a fresh clean diaper. I saw the notes again telling me to bring my wet diapers down and rinse them out in the sink so I put my pajamas on and brushed my teeth and brought the diaper down. Dad had finished cleaning the kitchen and Mom was nowhere to be seen. Dad had on two band aids. I saw him letting Skippy back inside and he wiped off his paws with a hand towel. I rinsed the diaper off in the sink and left it there. I washed my hands in the bathroom again and went back to the den to finish my movie.
I thought more about Allie and her punishment. I couldn’t wait to see her in diapers. I wouldn’t be alone and I would know someone who does wear them even though it would only be a month. I was looking forward to tomorrow. I remembered the time when I had caught Kelly wearing one of mine while babysitting.
Mom and Dad were gone on a date and Brian was gone too. He was somewhere and I don't remember where. There I was thirteen and Kelly was ten and Matthew was six. We were all watching Cow and Chicken I remember. Then Kelly got up and went upstairs.
Matthew and I kept on watching TV. I noticed Kelly never came back downstairs. After the I Am Weasel song ended, I went upstairs to see what was going on. I went in our bedroom and there was Kelly wearing one of my diapers.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
Kelly tried covering herself up. "Nothing," she said.
"Why do you have on one of my diapers?" I asked.
She looked funny in it because I hadn't seen her in diapers since she was three or four years old. The diaper was big on her because the diaper went high up on her and the tabs crossed each other.
"I just wanted to see what they feel like," she replied.
Then an idea popped in my head. "You have to keep it on and pee in it," I said.
"Ew, no way," said Kelly.
"Yes," I said. "I am going to lock all the bathrooms in the house so you won' be able to use them. Keep them on or I will tell Mom and Dad and all your friends," I said.
"I will just tell them you're lying."
"Not if I take a picture of it," I said.
I grabbed her hand and tried pulling her out of the room with me. But Kelly held on tight to the door frame.
"Matthew," I shouted. "I need your help."
"No, don't call your brother," Kelly begged.
"Then put some pants on and come with me," I said.
Kelly put on a dress instead.
I took her out of the room with me and I locked all the bathroom doors in the house.
I went in the den and turned on the light and took the camera out of the drawer and made Kelly lift her dress up.
"Natalie, no, I will leave it on, I promise."
"Nope, I am taking this picture just in case."
I held the camera up to my face and snap went the camera.
"Leave the diaper on or the picture will be shown around the neighborhood," I said.
I kept the camera with me so Kelly wouldn't open it and take the film and hide it.
I took the movie camera off the shelf and took it out of the bag. I looked to see if it had a tape in it. It did so I turned it on and hit the record button. I started to film Kelly and I made her lift her skirt up or I would show it to everyone. Kelly did just that. Then I turned it off and kept the camera with me so she couldn't do something with the movie.
This was so much fun. Making Kelly wear my diaper and use it. I hope she would have to go soon. I was not the only one in diapers anymore.
"Why do you have the camera?" Matthew asked.
"So Kelly can't take the film and can't do something with the movies I'm taking," I said.
"Why?"
I looked at Kelly. "You wanna tell him or should I?"
"No no, don't tell him," she said.
"Tell me what?" Matthew asked.
"Nothing," said Kelly.
"She's decided to wear one of my diapers," I said.
"Natalie," Kelly shouted. "You promised."
"No I didn't," I said.
"Yes you did."
"No I did not."
"Kelly has a diaper on like you?" Matthew asked me.
"Yes," I said.
"You told me to put some pants on and you won't," said Kelly.
"No, that was about calling him, not telling him," I said.
"Why?" Matthew asked.
"She was curious about them," I replied. "So she is going to see what it's like to wear them and poop or pee in them and she better go."
All evening long, Kelly kept the diaper on and I kept checking up on her to make sure she kept it on. She did.
"Do you have to pee yet?" I asked.
"No," she said.
"You better go," I said holding the movie camera up.
"And what if I don't?"
"Then I may show everyone the photo."
"You can't keep changing your mind, that's not fair."
"It's not fair I have to wear them and no one else does and how that guy ran into us from drinking and I got stuck in them and none of you did," I said.
"Okay I will do anything, just don't show anyone those."
"I want you to keep my diaper on and pee in it."
"But I don't have to go."
"Then I will make you go, come on. Follow me."
Kelly followed me to the kitchen. I opened the fridge and took out some juice and a cup.
"You have to drink some juice," I said.
"But I'm not thirsty," said Kelly.
"Drink it, you said you would do anything."
Kelly opened one of the juices. I turned the movie camera on and took a movie of her pouring herself a glass and drinking it.
"More," I said.
Kelly poured herself another glass and drank it slower.
"Faster," I said.
"It's hard to drink it when you're not thirsty," she shouted.
I kept taking the movie and she was going way too slow.
"Faster or I show the photo," I said.
Kelly drank it faster.
After she was done, I decided to call it quits for the drinking.
I made her put the juices away and put the cup in the dishwasher.
"I have to go pee and all the bathrooms are locked," said Matthew grabbing his crotch. I didn't know where the keys to the doors were so I went out to the garage and grabbed one of the empty beer bottles from the recycling. I got the idea from Dumb and Dumber to pee in the bottle so I handed it to Matthew and told him to go in it.
"I don't want to go in that, I want to go to the bathroom," Matthew yelled stamping his feet on the floor and grabbing his crotch.
"I don't know where the keys are so you are going to have to go in the bottle or wet your pants," I said. "Or go outside or go in the litter box."
Matthew held it longer and then he ran outside in the backyard. He came back inside no longer grabbing himself down there.
Soon Mom and Dad came home. Dad asked me why I had his movie camera and what was his camera doing sitting on the kitchen table. I told them Kelly tried on one of my diapers and was wearing it.
"So what's with the cameras?" Dad asked.
"I wanted her to leave it on and pee in it so I took a movie and a picture of her wearing it," I said.
"Why?"
"So I could show it to other people if she doesn't keep it on and pee in it."
"You're blackmailing her?" Dad shouted.
"It's not fair I wear them and no one else does, I don't want to be alone anymore so I'm not this time and I am tired of being teased about it. Now I won't be alone," I cried.
"Natalie, this is going too far. I know you don't like wearing them but you have to accept it and blackmailing your sister isn’t the answer. Now rewind back the movie and leave it there so we can erase it when we take movies. I am also going to be taking the camera and destroying the pictures when they’re developed."
Mom headed down the hallway and came back saying the bathroom is locked.
"I locked all of them," I said.
"You did what?" Dad shouted again.
"I locked all the bathrooms so Kelly will use her diaper and can't go to the bathroom," I said.
So Mom and Dad had to look for where they put the keys to the bathrooms and bedroom doors. Kelly said she had to pee and to hurry up so she could go.
"If you have to go so bad, just go, you're wearing the diaper and it will be thrown away anyway so you will mind as well get a good use out of it so it's not going to waste," said Mom.
"No way," said Kelly.
"You put it on, Dad and I have to pay for those and you've wasted one so you will mind as well get a good use out of it so our money's not gone to waste."
"She's right Kelly," said Dad. "It's just pee, it will wash off."
That was the best babysitting experience ever but that was the last time I was left in charge of watching Matthew and Kelly for a while. But of course I had to rewind the movie to the part of the last time Dad took a movie. Kelly didn't use my diaper of course because they had found one of the keys in time to unlock one of the bathroom doors for her to go. The diaper was thrown away unused. I was disappointed she didn't pee in it. For once I was not helpless like I am always but shame Mom and Dad had to ruin it. If I had that photo, I could have used it to control her and make her do whatever I want her to do. Then I wouldn't have been a helpless person anymore and I would have had power over someone. When I protested about it, Mom asked me how would I like it if she took photos of me wearing them and threatened to show everyone of me in them and take them to my school and show all my classmates and other kids in the school. They may know I wear them but it would still be embarrassing if she showed them a photo of me wearing one. Kelly didn't get in trouble for wearing one of my diapers and I wasn't in trouble either for blackmailing her. I just was not left to watch her and Matthew for a while and Brian was always home if they ever went out again and he was left in charge because he was the oldest. Kelly never tried on one of my diapers again. I will never forget that night. I may have failed my plan that night but this time I was hoping my plan wouldn’t fail. I will make sure this time my mom and dad don’t find the camera in my room or in my backpack. Then I realized my plan last time would have failed anyway because if Dad got those photos developed and looked at them after picking them up, he still would have seen the photos and destroy them. Dad did destroy the photos I took. I can remember him burning them on the stove and using matches. I wonder what the photo developer person thought when he or she saw them.
When the movie ended, I played some more GoldenEye. I did the Depot level. I shot every bad guy I saw and went in every building. Darn I find those drone guns annoying so I skipped that building. When I got done with the level, I just got on the train without shooting the two bad guys and I saw in the short movie he shot them.
I did another level and shot more bad guys. Then Kelly came in the den and said “Why am I not surprised?” and left. I wonder why she came in here for. I paused the game and closed the door she left open and went back to my game. It has always bothered me when people leave doors open that were closed, even seeing it in movies bothered me too.
The next day, Mom came in my room to wake me up. I felt her pulling the covers off me and saying my name. Then she said, “Let’s put this diaper on you and you can go back to bed.”
But I was too tired to get out of bed. I just stayed put so Mom grabbed my arm and pulled me out of bed. I was too heavy for her to pull so she said, “Should I wake you up the Grandma Del style?” she said.
“No!” my eyes shot open.
“Okay, get up then and don’t make this hard for me. You shouldn’t have stayed up late with your game,” said Mom. “Or you can just get a rash from staying in that wet diaper and I will change you in a half hour when I come back to get you up for school.”
Half hour? She could have just waited thirty minutes longer before coming in here and waking me up. Mom.
“Why couldn’t you just wait thirty minutes then?” I said in my tired voice.
“Because.”
“Why? You woke me up for no reason then,” I said going back to bed and pulling the covers over me.
I closed my eyes again.
Mom didn’t even answer and just left my room. I realized how uncomfortable my diaper is and how much it smells from the pee.
MOM.
I was mad so I pounded my fist on my bed and it hurt. I just put it in my mouth where I hurt it. I felt like locking my door next time but we’re not allowed to lock our doors as we sleep because what if the house is on fire, then no one will be able to come in and wake me up.
I tried to ignore the diaper and go back to sleep. I kept my head above the covers so I wouldn’t have to smell the pee. Some people are too lazy to get out of bed to go potty, I was too lazy to get out of bed to change and Allie wishes she could wear diapers like me? I wonder how she is going to like it when she wakes up in a wet diaper and it needs changing and she is too lazy to get out of bed to do it. Now I wished Mom was back to change me. Then I remembered the camera was hidden in my sock/underwear drawer. When was the last time I had underwear on over my diaper? I couldn’t remember. They don’t hide the diapers anyway if they show. They do get rid of the sagging which is uncomfortable but my bathing suit takes care of it and it works better too.
I decided to just get out of bed and change my diaper and I will deal with my cloth one later. I kicked the blankets off me and lifted up my shirt and took off my plastic pants and undid the diaper. Now I was hoping I wouldn’t have any accidents on my rug. I saw my mom had left the diaper and wipes in here so I cleaned myself up using one and then I put the diaper on me lying down and went back to bed. I felt so much better.
Soon, Mom came back in my room and said, “Oh, you changed.” I heard her going in my closet picking out my clothes. Then she came to my bed and pulled the covers off me.
“Since you changed your diaper, I guess you can dress yourself now,” and she placed my clothes on my bed.
“I couldn’t even get back to sleep with the diaper being so uncomfortable because you woke me up,” I said.
“Since you’re up already, I guess you can get yourself dressed without needing me to do it,” said Mom.
“No, I want you to do it,” I said.
Mom sighed. “When is there going to come a day when you will do it?”
“When I graduate out of high school,” I said.
“Okay fine.”
Mom picked something up and then told me to hold my foot out. I held it out and I realized she was putting my pants on.
“What about my swim suit?” I asked.
Mom just pulled the pants off and said, “Fine you do it.”
Mom was acting weird.
“You’re acting weird,” I said.
“No I’m not,” said Mom.
“Yes you are, you always get me dressed and put the swim suit on me first.”
“You changed your diaper.”
“Because it was uncomfortable.”
“If you can change your diaper, you can get yourself dressed.”
Mom left my room again.
I felt I was being punished for changing my own diaper. Next time I will just let Mom change me.
Then I felt my diaper getting wet again. I lied on my back so the pee will absorb in the padding. I just changed and here I was wet again already. I just rested here. I could hear Matthew being up. I heard Mom doing the Grandma style because Matthew was yelling, “No stop, not Grandma Del.”
“Ow, Matthew,” Mom cried.
“Then don’t,” said Matthew.
I listened to Mom trying to get Matthew up for school. At least I am not like him.
Grandma Del’s style is the worst because it’s screaming in your face and doing lot of hugging and kissing and ear nibbling and tickling. That was how she would get her kids out of bed but my mom would just pinch her or hit her and bite her because it was painful for her so Grandma didn’t do it to her. At least we don’t get Grandma Del’s mother style. Now if I had to pick between the two, I would pick Grandma Del’s because at least there wouldn’t be any real pain. When Grandma was a kid, if she took too long getting up, her mother loved going in her room and pulling her hair and pinching her or choking and she would do it very hard. But at least it did get her to get up on time than being a Pokey Little Puppy and Mom never does that to us. Instead she does her mom’s style even though she hated it when she was a kid.
I did eventually get out of bed and I got myself dressed in my outfit Mom had picked out for me. It was just a brown long sleeve shirt with a flower on the front and brown pants. It all looked like a sweat top and sweat pants. I went to my sock drawer again and looked in there and saw the camera was still there. I turned it on again and looked at it and the batteries were still good. I turned it off and put it back in the drawer. I went downstairs. I remembered to take my odor pill because of the notes. I had a bowl of cereal. I had Alpha-Bits again. Then I placed my bowl in the sink and went upstairs and brushed my teeth. The notes on the wall about rinsing out my diapers reminded me I still had my wet one in my room. I finished brushing my teeth and brought my cloth diaper down to the laundry room and rinsed it in the sink. Then I washed my hands in the kitchen. I remembered to grab a bottle of odor remover pills to keep at school with me. I stuck them in my backpack and I went upstairs to my room and grabbed the camera. I went back downstairs and asked my mom for more diapers.
“Good Natalie, you are getting ready for school before you play your videogames,” she said. “Good girl.”
I felt like a dog when she told me ‘good girl.’ I pictured myself being a dog and I was barking. “Woof woof.”
“Arph arph,” I said and panted.
Mom ignored me pretending to be a dog because she didn’t say anything or react to it.
I was so glad I remembered to get ready for school. Now I won’t get caught with the camera like last time. There is no way Mom would check my backpack, she never checks it. Not like what she does with Matthew’s. She used to check mine but stopped.
I went in the den and played GoldenEye again. I did the bunker and left Natalya in her cell so she wouldn’t get in the way of my shooting or get stuck behind any walls. On the Achieves I just start shooting towards her so she will get scared and run off so she is out of the way. Then when I am done with all my missions and everything is clear, I go get her.
When it was time to go to school, Mom came in the den and told me to turn the game off and it’s time to go to school. I turned everything off and she told Matthew to get his shoes on. He was whining and moping about being driven to school again. Mom told him she has to take me to school because I got myself suspended from riding the van until next week and until he can walk himself to the bus stop, she won’t have to take him there anymore.
“I put your diapers in your bag Natalie and your binder too,” said Mom. “Your bag is in the kitchen on the counter.”
I went in the kitchen and saw my backpack on the kitchen counter and grabbed it. I opened it and peeked inside and saw my diapers and binder. Mom had somehow shoved it all in there and made it all fit. She had them folded is why. I had four in there. I still saw my odor remover pills. Whew, she didn’t take anything out.
I went out to the car and got in and sat in the back seat. I waited and Mom came in the garage carrying Matthew’s backpack and his lunch bag and her purse and she was pulling his arm out the door. Yes it was still attached to his body. I know it sounded like she had his arm only and not the rest of his body. Mom opened the front car door and tossed his stuff and her purse between the front seats and told him to get in and to not make me late for school.
“Ow, my arm is hurting,” Matthew cried.
“Then get in the car,” Mom shouted.
Matthew got in and Mom let go of his arm and closed the door. She got in on the driver’s side and turned the car on. She opened our garage door and closed it after we backed out and she dropped Matthew off at his bus stop. Matthew was being so difficult Mom had to get out of the car and open his car door and pull him out and she pushed him towards the bus stop right in front of the other kids who were already waiting. I saw them laughing and Mom looked at them and closed the car door and got on her side and she picked up Matthew’s lunch and backpack and rolled down her window and threw them outside at him and drove off. The whole thing was funny because it was like Mom was getting rid of him like he was trash and tossing the trash out her window. I thought of it like a movie. A mother wanted to get rid of her child because he was being annoying and won’t stop having fits and tantrums do the mother gets tired of it and pulls the car over and dumps him off. She just pulls him out of the car and pushes him aside and drives off and picks up his things he left in her car and opens her window and just tossed them outside like it was newspaper or an apple core and kept on driving. A snicker came out of my mouth and I snorted.
“What?” Mom asked.
“Nothing,” I said.
“Why are you laughing?”
“I’m not laughing at you,” I said.
“Then what are you laughing at?”
“Um about what happened at the bus stop when we dropped Matthew off,” I said.
“It’s not funny, stop it,” Mom scolded.
I tried harder to not laugh so I tried to not think about it.
Mom took me all the way to my school. She parked in the front and told me, “Okay. We’re here, get out.”
I opened the sliding door and got out and closed it and walked up to my school. Mom drove off and I went inside. I felt anxious about Allie. I went to my locker and opened my backpack. I was careful to not have any diapers fall out. I took out my binder and odor remover pills and I reached for the camera and saw it wasn’t there. I felt disappointed. Mom had ruined my plans again. She must have seen it in there and took it out when she put my diapers in there and she didn’t even say anything about it. I wonder why. I also noticed I forgot my Game Boy Color again.
Great, another boring day.
I took off my coat and hung it up in my locker.
Then Mrs. Peggy showed up at my locker.
“Natalie, I need you to come see me in my office,” she said.
“For what?” I asked.
“Just come with me,” she said.
I closed my locker taking my binder with and headed to the office.
We were walking there when the same boys blocked my eye sight again and I yelled at them.
“What happened?” Mrs. Peggy asked.
“They were harassing me again,” I said.
“I only did this,” said Joshua putting his hand in front of my face.
Mrs. Peggy started talking to them and I hoped this was the end of it.
“Just get to class,” she said to them and we started walking again.
We got to her office and I saw Mrs. Trunchbull was there. I wondered why she was here.
Mrs. Peggy took me into a room and closed the door. Mrs. Trunchbull came in with us.
“Take a seat,” said Mrs. Peggy.
I sat down. Mrs. Peggy sat down too and so did Mrs. Trunchbull.
“Natalie, I brought you here because you have been having problems in English with your teacher and with other students so she felt it would be better if you moved to another class.”
“Really?” I asked.
I felt like I was dreaming. Was I really hearing this? I was going to move to a different class?
“Yes, I will talk to your dad again late again tonight and I think you will be happier with a different teacher. Ms. Kink thinks it will be better for you.”
“I will need my book back,” she said.
I couldn’t believe Mrs. Trunchbull was being nice to me all of a sudden, she was moving me to another class. I wonder why she was doing something good all of a sudden. I was confused. Why do bad people do nice things sometimes? But I felt happy I was no longer going to be in her class.
“But you will be in Mr. Brooks room for right now just for your first class,” said Mrs. Peggy.
“Why can’t I go to a different English class?” I asked.
“That class is full and we don’t want it to get overcrowded so you will be in Mr. Brooks until we figure something out.”
I didn’t care right now I was going to be in special ed. It was only temporary and it’s not like I was going to be a student in there.
“I am sorry Natalia we didn’t get off on a good start and couldn’t be friends,” said Mrs. Trunchbull. “I think you were better than the other students in that class. Your reading, your grammar, you could use a different class.”
“How do you feel about that Natalie?” Mrs. Peggy asked.
“Good,” I said.
I felt good because I was no longer going to be in her class and I didn’t care where I was going to go next, just as long as I didn’t have to be in her class. I still wondered why she was being nice and was giving me a compliment all of a sudden.
“She also won’t need to return to my room during lunch anymore,” Mrs. Trunchbull added.
Then we all got up and Mrs. Peggy took me to Mr. Brooks’s room. She took me in and it was just another classroom but it had cubicles and tables and shelves and a couple computers. They also had cubby holes with bins. I saw they had names on them. There was also a place to hang your coat up. On the outside door, it said Resource Room.
“This is Natalie here and she will be in your room for a while,” said Mrs. Peggy to Mr. Brooks.
They both talked and I just walked around the room. There were already a few students here already. I noticed a girl about my age sitting at the table in the back. She had brown hair and part of it was put in a ponytail and the rest was down. She had freckles on her face and she was thin and had normal sized boobs and she had on a white long sleeve shirt and blue jeans. She looked normal. She had her backpack with her too. I wondered if she was one of the diaper wearers. I tried looking at her bottom but couldn’t see anything. I didn’t see any diaper bulge. Maybe she hid it too like me. Her shirt was long and it went down to her butt and it kept the top of her pants covered. I looked at the other kids and there was another teacher in here too. They also had their backpacks with. None of them looked like they had diapers on but I still wondered if they were diaper wearers too but one of them opened his backpack and took out his papers. They all looked normal too.
Then Mrs. Peggy left and Mr. Brooks came up to me and said to me “Welcome to my class, remember me?”
“Yes,” I said.
“What did you do to get out of her room?” he asked quietly.
“I don’t know, she just decided I would be better off being in a different class,” I said.
He laughed and said, “You’re lucky she decided to get rid of you.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You’re lucky. She decided to release you from her room and that is a good thing. Now if only the other kids will be lucky. If only we could dig up some dirt to get her employment terminated.”
“How would digging up dirt help?” I asked.
“Just trying to find proof who she really is so the school principal won’t be blind to all this but everyone is so afraid of her.”
“I’m not,” I said.
“You have to be careful though.”
I rolled my eyes and said, “What can she do? She can’t send kids away or have the power to lock them away and she also can’t share any personal information about kids because it’s against the rules.”
“You still have to be careful though. I am glad to have you here,” he said. “So do you have anything to work on? Any homework?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
I always did my schoolwork in class with the other class and I still had unfinished work but I didn’t know how I was going to do it here.
“Let’s see what you have, open your binder.”
Thank god he called it by the correct name. It always bugs me some people call it a notebook. Why do people use inaccurate names for things? That will be like me calling our minivan a truck. Maybe I can start being stupid too and start calling things by their wrong name just to show them how stupid they are.
I opened my binder and showed Mr. Brooks my stuff in it. “So what do you need to work on here?” he asked.
“I always do my work in class,” I said.
“Can you do it here?”
“No,” I asked.
“Why not? We can help you with it.”
“Because I always do it in class and I don’t know how you can help me here.”
I was starting to feel uncomfortable. How was I going to do my schoolwork here? How do I explain the assignments or understand them?
Mr. Brooks looked at what I had. “Anything for English?” he asked.
“I am not in her class anymore so I don’t have any now,” I said.
Since I was no longer in her class, all the school work in it I didn’t have to do anymore.
After a few minutes of this, he decided I could read a book or be on the computer and he showed me the books he had and computer games. Lot of the books were elementary school level and the computer games were below my age level.
“You have little kid stuff,” I said.
“Lot of our students here have difficulty in reading and math,” he said. “We don’t pay any attention to what age it says. Education level is what matters.”
I looked at the computer games and decided on Math Workshop. We only have the Deluxe version at home. I got on one of the computers and turned it on and once the desktop loaded, I put in the game.
I waited for it to start up and I clicked play and I had to select New Player just to put my name in and I started the game. I did puzzles first and then the bowling game. Then I played the rocket game. I think the deluxe version is better because it has more games and I like playing that flame game on the second floor.
The girl in the back still sat by herself doing nothing and the other kids were sitting at another table doing their school work with the other teacher. She was writing on the portable whiteboard they had and she was talking and the kids were writing down their answers.
I got done with the game and took the game out and looked at what games they had on the computer. I saw Smart Games and decided to select it. I had to put my name in again because the game also required everyone have their own file. I saw they had a bunch of games for me to select and I clicked on one of them. I saw the game I was playing was a lot like Rush Hour. I had to try and get the red car out by moving the other cars. I played all the other games just to see what they were like. They were all puzzle games or just games. I liked the stick game and Marble Jump, the crop game, word search, and warehouse. Every time I completed a level, the applause screen would pop up with people clapping and words saying Good Job.
Then the bell rang. I got off the computer and picked up my binder and Mr. Brooks told me “See you again tomorrow, if they still hadn’t worked it out of course.”
“Yeah, me too,” I said. “I hope.”
I was actually hoping they will take their time because I really loved being in here because of the computer and I liked all their computer games. I noticed the girl stayed put when the bell rang while the other kids got out of their seats and their teacher was also telling them they will work more on it later.
I went to my next class and sat down in a seat.
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Post by Bad Beth on Aug 11, 2014 6:55:36 GMT
Chapter 35
“Whoa, you’re in school,” said Russell while waiting for class to start. “Yeah,” I said. “Did you skip again or what?” “No she decided to put me in another class,” I said. “Really? You’re so lucky. She didn’t say anything to us about you no longer being in our class.” “I wonder why she decided to be nice all of a sudden,” I asked. “I wish she would do the same for me, you are so lucky,” said Eddie. Despite being treated different, this was a good one instead of a bad one. I wish I got good ones only. Other kids from her class also told me how lucky I was and why couldn’t they be that lucky too. I felt so good about myself. I still wondered why she was nice all of a sudden but they said she was still mean in their class and she seems to be more pissed when she isn’t in control. Mrs. Zeller was in the room but she didn’t say anything about Mrs. Trunchbull. How could she not care what is going on in that class or say anything about it? Soon class started and Mrs. Zeller started class. We worked on math problems and I zoned out again and would copy down what I saw on the board and didn’t understand the problems up there. I could never learn algebra. I was so stupid I must be retarded. I just drew lines on the lines on my paper as I listened but I forgot what was said. “Natalie, what are you doing?” Mrs. Zeller asked. “Nothing,” I said. “You’re supposed to be working on the problem, not doodle or tracing lines.” I stopped and she went back to teaching. I stacked my math book on my head and tried to balance it while looking on the overhead. Mrs. Zeller never said anything so it must have been fine what I was doing. I saw another boy doing it. It was really was okay to do it. This school was awesome. I would have been told to stop at my old school. I remember one of my classmates got in trouble for stacking a few textbooks on his head during class and the teacher took them all away and he had no book to work with so he wasn’t able to do his schoolwork so he ended up having to do it all at home. To me it wouldn’t have mattered because I did all my school work at home pretty much. So I did it anyway and I was told to stop and I ended up reading anyway. I looked at the overhead again and copied down what she had written so far on her math problem. It was a lot of blab la bla. I was bored and I just looked around and continued stacking the math book on my head. Then it fell off and hit the floor. “Natalie, you are being disruptive, please sit in your seat and pay attention,” said Mrs. Zeller. “I am,” I said. “No, I mean stop playing with your book and watch the overhead.” I looked on the rolled up thing where the light from the overhead was shining on to show what she was doing. I closed my binder and stacked it on my head. “Natalie, what did I tell you?” Mrs. Zeller asked a minute later. “No book on head,” I said. “And I want you to stop playing in your seat,” said Mrs. Zeller. “I don’t want to take everything away from you.” I wondered if she would take my paper and pencil too. “Even my paper and pencil?” I asked. “No,” she said. I stopped playing with my stuff. I wonder why she didn’t tell me before to not stack my math book on my head. I watched and listened and rocked in my seat and tapped my feet and looked around. Then class got out and Mrs. Zeller came over to me. “I still haven’t gotten the chance to talk to your principal yet or call your dad. I will try to do it tonight,” she said. I started to walk away and she added,” I will try and talk to Jason too about you catching up again.” “Okay,” I said. I left class and went to Spanish. One kid shoved into me and didn’t even apologize. “Hey,” I shouted. He looked at me and his friends were laughing. I glared at them and kept walking to my class. I still felt where the kid had pushed himself into me. I set my binder on my desk and sighed. “Oh game exchange,” said Jason bolting out of his chair. Oh no, game exchange. I had forgotten about it. He had his bag with him with his games and he had his head phones on. He set them on my binder. “Where are your games?” he asked. “I forgot them,” I said. “Go get them,” he said. “I can’t,” I said. “Why?” “I left them at home.” Jason moaned. “I should have called you but you never gave me your number.” “I will bring them tomorrow,” I said. Jason picked his bag of games back up. "Okay, I will bring mine back tomorrow." He went back to his desk. “Oh what’s this?” Russell asked picking up something from Jason’s desk. “Ohhhh Peter Faltskog, is he related to Abba?” Jason snatched the CD case from him. “No,” he yelled. “Leave me alone.” “I just wanted to see it,” said Russell. “Don’t touch my stuff,” he shouted. “Just sit down,” his aid told Russell. “I just wanted to see it,” Russell said. “He doesn’t like anyone grabbing his stuff,” she said. Mr. Leaf was on is computer. I saw him printing stuff off. I was bored and wished I had my Game Boy. I envied Jason having his CD player. He had something to do. I saw Addie had her headphones on too. Lucky her. I saw Jeff, Gregory, Aubry, and Garrett playing with a tiny ball that is soft. They were kicking it with their feet at each other. It’s a game kids like to play and some played it at my old school too. It never interested me. Then the bell rang and Mr. Leaf told everyone to take their seats. I saw Jason’s aid telling him to turn off his music. Everyone sat down and he took our attendance and asked one of us to set it by the door. Jeff grabbed it and put it by the door and sat back down. Mr. Leaf had some papers in his hand. “Okay class I have printed off some work sheets and there are going to be pictures and you have to match them with the correct word in Spanish,” he said. This reminded me of preschool work. I always felt like a little kid again in this class because of the work. It’s the way it is with learning a new language. He passed them out and I looked at the words and pictures. I started to work on it right away. I saw Jason had his headphones on again. His aid didn't tell him to take them off. Huh? It must be okay now to listen to music. I wished I had mine. Mr. Leaf didn't say anything about it either. Listening to music must not be okay while the teacher is talking but it's okay while you are working. I got done and then I sat bored in my chair. I played with my hair and moved my feet around. I saw Jason was done too and he was just sitting there with his music and Game Boy Color. I got out of my chair and peeked over his shoulder. He was playing some game I wasn't familiar with. He noticed me and said I was blocking the light from his screen. "Sorry," I said and backed away. I still tried to look but couldn't see the screen well. Why do Game Boy screens have to be so dark? It's so hard to see the game sometimes you need enough light to see and not have too much light either. I also looked at his small stack of CDs. I read what he had. They were music groups I was not familiar with. A couple of them said Peter Faltskog. I thought the last name was funny. I don't know why, it just was because the sound of it. I don't know why I was picturing a keg and Kellogg’s Corn Pops. I think that was why I found the name funny. Jason then turned his game off and picked up his CD case. “Do you listen to Peter Faltskog?” he asked. “No,” I said. “He is awesome. He introduced me to playing the drums.” “How?” I asked. “He showed me how to play them when I was eight.” “You’ve met him?” “Yeah, he is from Sweden and he has a home outside of Spokane and owns a band camp and has it open every summer for kids. He and my mom dated but his music career got in the way so things didn’t work out. Music was his passion and interest. My mom thinks he had Asperger’s too but his career made him so sociable because it’s acceptable to be weird and different when you’re a rock star. She blames my drum interest on him because he got me started. Have you ever met anyone famous?” “Yes,” I said. “Who?” “Will Leham,” I said. “When did you meet him?” “Back when they filmed Man of the Class in Saltwater and they filmed it at my elementary school and in town and they also filmed the inside scenes of the school in Portland in some huge empty building and other indoor scenes,” I said. “They shot it in the summer when school was out and I remember they filmed all the school scenes in a month and they used kids who went to school there as extras and people who live in Saltwater got to be extras too and my brother got to be in the movie too but he had a very small part. He was someone who was running in the streets and he yells “asshole” to someone because he tried to grab something from him thinking he had some chip the bad guys needed.” “Were you in the movie too?” Jason interrupted. “Yes.” “Where at in the movie?” “I was one of the bratty students in the classroom Will Leham was teaching and I played the silent one and I was the sneaky one and manipulative.” “That was you?” Jason asked sounding shocked. “Yeah my name is also in the credits.” “Wow you must be famous,” he said. Kids looked at us because Jason had said it loud enough. “She was in Man of the Class,” Jason pointed at me. “Yeah right,” said Garrett. “Her name is in the credits,” said Jason. “So, some people share the same name.” “I was in it,” I said. “Don’t believe me, I can bring in some pictures from when I was little and show them and you will see I look like Melinda in the movie and I can tell you what I remember on the set.” “You were in the movie?” Addie asked. “Yeah,” I said. “Were you in other movies?” Sarah asked. “No,” I said. “Why not?” Addie asked. “Too much work and I didn’t enjoy it. I should have quit." I was bombed with other questions and I answered them all. I liked the attention I was getting. No one has ever given me attention for being in the movie. I was still singled out and picked on and treated different. Only rarely I would get spotted by a stranger and they would talk to me but then as I got older, I am not recognized so no one ever notices me. Even with my name, I would think people who know me would notice I was in it but people can share the same name so they think it’s a different Natalie Evans. I did not get famous from being in it. I am actually glad because I would hate to walk around with a paper sack over my head so no one would recognize me. I hear celebrities don’t get any privacy because people are always stopping them to talk to them and people will go by their house and take stuff from their yard or fly over their home to take pictures or coming up to their door and ringing the doorbell or try and pull them over when they see them on the road. I would not want that life. I would have to live in Montana and stay. Then Mr. Leaf told the kids to get back to work if they are not done. My fame ended and everyone acted like I was in no movie. Things were back to normal. After class got out, I headed to my next class and I discovered the word had spread I was an "actress" and a "movie star" because kids were mentioning it in Science when I came in after changing my diaper. "Are you an actress?" Mitchell asked. "No," I said. "But you played in a movie,” said Jessa. "So, it doesn't make me one." "Yes it does,” said Mitchell "No it doesn't, it was only one movie,” I said. "Natalie is a movie star Natalie is a movie star," Kids chanted. "I'm not famous," I shouted. "But you were in a movie,” Amber pointed out. "If I was a movie star, I would have been in more movies." “Enough you guys,” said Mr. Whirt from his desk. Jason wasn't in my class so I was on my own. "Natalie the movie star,” said Kenny. I just frowned. "When does your next movie come out?" Mitchell asked. "How is Hollywood?" Preston asked. I tried to ignore them. Maybe they will stop. But kids kept whispering to me about it so I snapped shouting. "Leave me alone." Why was I being made fun of about it? "Hey," said Mr. Whirt. "We're just kidding." "She told you to leave her alone.” “We were just excited she was in a movie,” said Amber. “And lot of them like their privacy so I am sure she wants to be treated like everyone else,” said Mr. Whirt. “Not be given attention over a movie she played in.” Kids finally left me alone and then the bell rang. I always hate it when kids pick on me and then say they are kidding when caught just to avoid trouble. Mr.Whirt took our attendance and started class. The kids didn't bother me again until class got out. I heard them telling other kids in the hall "She is an actress." "She was in Man of the Class, she is a movie star." "She's a famous movie star." "She got to meet Will Leham." I went to my locker and put my stuff in there and took my odor pill. I saw the bottle so it reminded me to take it. I closed my locker and headed to lunch. So far I had not seen Allie. I wondered if she was in school. Imagined her being too humiliated to come to school because she found out she had to wear diapers and her mom let her stay home. I headed to lunch and waited in line. Some other kids bugged me in lunch about being in a movie and asked me about it. I was not sure if they were teasing me or curious so I answered them anyway just to be nice. Why did I have to tell Jason I knew someone famous? I should have lied or whispered it to him. "Hey, can I get your autograph?" a girl asked. She didn't have anything for me to sign so I told her "You don't have anything for me to sign." The kids who were with her started laughing. I wondered what was so funny. Why do kids always laugh? Soon my turn came and I put in my number and saw how much I had left. I got my food and I saw Hecate coming. She invited me to their table. I sat down with them. Ahriman was absent. "So after you get through eating, you are coming out to the parking lot with us,” said Hecate. "Why?" I asked. "No questions, don't ruin your probation." I felt anxious. I didn't know why they wanted me out there. I wondered what was going to happen. "Hurry and finish your food," said Lilth. I ate faster. Not one of us spoke a word. I ate the macaroni and cheese but it tasted funny but I ate it anyway because it's my favorite. I ate my rolls and peas and peaches. Then I was done eating and so was everyone else. We got up and dumped our trays and put them on the counter for the dishwasher lady to wash. She took them from us and stuck them in the sink while she was spraying water. I followed after them to the parking lot. I was still anxious. My hands were shaking. I rubbed them together. "You don't have to see Mrs. Kink still do you?" Hecate asked. "No," I said. "Good." I followed them through the parking lot. We walked by parked cars and then we got to an old car that looked like a 1980'smodel. It was ugly dark brown and it was a four door car. It said Dodge on the back. “Why are we here?” I asked. “You’ll see,” said Hecate. I heard Lilth saying something but I didn't really understand until she said my new name at the end so I asked her "what?" "Check to see if it's unlocked," said Lilth. I pulled the car handle and the door opened and I closed it. "She left it unlocked, good," said Damian. “Whose car is this?” I asked. “Mrs. Kink’s, duh,” said Hecate. “You need to listen more. Rule of being normal. Only absent minded people ask because they don’t pay any attention. You want to be normal so you must pay more attention.” "Raven, I want you to go in her car and put the car in gear," said Lilth. "Why do you want me to do it?" I asked. "Just do it, do you want to be normal or not?" I started to feel stressed inside. I wanted to be normal but I would have to make the car roll and the parking lot curved a little. But if I refused, then they would get mad at me and make fun of me. Did I really want these friends or not? Friends who will make me do the wrong things just to make them happy? Or do I want friends who won't make me do stuff? But I really do want to be normal. My heart was beating and I felt sweat forming inside my glands. I didn’t know what to do. "Raven, what is holding you, put her car in gear," said Hecate. "Why can't one of you do it, I don't know how," I said finally. Lilth, Hecate, and Damian all laughed. I felt so stupid. "Raven, have you ever been inside a stick shift?" Hecate asked. "Yes," I said. "Okay, so you touch the stick shift that is between the seats and put it in a different gear." "How?" I asked again. I heard sighing and Hecate rolled her eyes. “Are you really this dense? Here, I'll show you." She opened the car door and got in and touched the stick shift. "You put your hand on this and put it in another gear, you move it from this gear and to the other over here or over there or over there," she was pointing. Damian and Lilth were pushing each other and grabbing at each other when Hecate started to get out of the car but Damien bumped into her when Lilth pushed him and Hecate fell down and hit the stick shift and it moved into a different gear and the car started to roll. “Oh shit,” Damian shouted. He and Lilth stopped playing around. He and her looked at the car as Hecate got out fast. The car rolled out of the parking spot and I looked and saw there were other parked cars and the car would crash into one of them. I ran behind Mrs. Trunchbull’s car to stop it pushing Lilth and Damian aside. They were in the way so I didn’t have time to say excuse me and wait for them to let me through. I pushed on the back of the car and the car stopped rolling. “What are you doing?” Damian asked. “I don’t want the car to crash,” I said. “Dude, it’s Mrs. Kink’s car. Why do you care?” Hecate asked. “I don’t want it to crash and get into trouble.” “They won’t know who did it if we run. They will just think it rolled, it happens sometimes with stick shifts when they didn’t have it in proper gear.” “Just let go of the car,” said Damian. I didn’t let go. “You don’t want to see it crash and then see her get all upset about it and having to pay for double damage because she will be at fault for this piece of junk?” said Damian. I was scared. What if we did get caught? What if doing this makes us go to jail? What if this is illegal? How much trouble would I be at home if I let this car crash? “C’mon Raven, don’t spoil the fun,” said Lilth. I was feeling bad. I didn’t want to get in trouble and I feared of going to jail and there wouldn’t be any more computer and video games and watching James Bond. There would be no more showers every other day and what would happen with my diapers? But I was also getting my friends upset. I just wanted to get out but didn’t know what to do. I just stood here with my arms on the car and my feet back. Then they tried to pull me away from the car so I screamed in fear. “What is the matter?” Damian asked. “It’s just her car,” said Hecate. “No one will know it’s us and you yelling will draw attention and get us caught.” Then I heard shouting all of a sudden and Lilth said, “Uh oh, someone is coming. Thanks a lot Natalie.” “Oh shit, it’s Jason,” said Damian. They ran off the other way and I noticed Jason was running towards me. I kept a hold of the car. “What is happening?” he asked. “The car is rolling,” I said. I let go and it rolled again so I kept pushing on it to keep it still. “Hold on,” he said. He went in the car and I saw him move the stick shift and he put it in a different gear. He got out of the car and closed the door. “Now let go.” I let go and sure enough, the car didn’t move. “Whew, good thing I knew what gear to put it in,” said Jason after sighing. “How did you know?” I asked. “My mom. She taught me what gear to put it in when you park it.” “Jason and Natalie!” I heard Mrs. Jenkins shouting from across the parking lot. Jason and I stood at the car. Mrs. Jenkins walked over to us. “What are you two doing at Mrs. Kink’s car?” she asked. “We stopped it from rolling,” said Jason. “See?” “I see it’s out of the parking spot and I will let the principal know, but why did it roll?” Mrs. Jenkins asked. “It got knocked out of gear,” said Jason. “Why?” “It got bumped,” I said. “And why were you in her car?” “I stopped it from rolling,” said Jason. “It was an accident,” I said. “How can it be an accident? You do not play near cars or enter them. Come with me.” “She should have locked it,” said Jason. “You do not go in peoples cars, it doesn’t matter if they’re locked or not,” said Mrs. Jenkins. “Unlocked does not mean it’s an invitation to go inside their car without permission.” We followed her back inside. She took us to the office. Mrs. Peggy was at her computer with her food. “These two were playing out in the parking lot near Mrs. Kink’s car and it rolled but they stopped it,” said Mrs. Jenkins. Mrs. Peggy opened her mouth and looked at us. “You two, with me now,” she said getting up. She shooed Mrs. Jenkins away and had us follow her. Jason and I followed her to the small room and she shut the door behind us. “Sit,” she said. We both sat down and Mrs. Peggy sat down in front of us and opened her mouth but there was a knock at the door before a word came out. Mrs. Peggy got up again and answered it and it was Mrs. Dorsell. “Loretta, I cannot get the copier machine to work and it says it’s low on ink, how do I replace it?” Mrs. Peggy got up and told us she will be right back. She left the room with Mrs. Dorsell. It was Jason and I alone. “Why didn’t we tell her about Lilth, Hecate, and Damian?” I asked. “Why? They weren’t even there and they will just deny it,” he said. “But they were there,” I said. “Doesn’t matter. We kept a collision from happening. Then it would have been more trouble.” “But now you are in trouble because of me,” I said. “At least we’ll be in trouble together. See, I told you so, those kids were bad news.” “What were they trying to do?” I asked. “I told you, they’re bad news.” “But why did they take me out there to do it? Why couldn’t they do it themselves instead of having me do it for them?” I asked. “To take the blame,” said Jason. “Did they even tell you what they were going to do before they brought you out there?” “No,” I said. “Did you know what they were going to do when they did it?” “No,” I said. Jason got out of his seat and turned the light off and sat back down. The room was dark. “Why did you turn off the light?” I asked. “The lights in here are too loud,” he said. “How?” “The buzzing, it was too loud so I turned them off. They need to be replaced anyway and are about to go out.” We kept sitting here and then Jason said “I wonder what my mom is going to say when she finds out what happened?” “Why?” I asked. “The principal will tell her and she will come and ask me why was I messing with the car and I don’t know what I will tell her.” “You stopped the car from rolling and you saw me with the kids so you ran over to me after they took off and stopped the car,” I said. “Then she might want to tell the school that.” “So.” “She doesn’t like me taking any blames. She used to threaten to sue my school all the time when she was with Peter Faltskog because he was rich. It was a cop out for her.” “How?” “How what?” “A cop out?” I asked. “He had money so that meant she could use his money to sue them and get money out of them so she used him to threaten my school or she sues them and it always worked.” “Cool,” I said. “Yeah and I used that to threaten other kids if they don’t leave me alone, my mom will sue their parents.” “Now I wish my parents were rich,” I said. “I even got friends for a while because of Peter. They all wanted to see him and meet him so they got close to me.” “Cool. Were they nice to you?” I asked. “Yes. Very nice and they let me play with them and they would come over and play my Nintendo or want to go to Peter’s with me and then we moved in with him. Kids were nice to me at my new school and they also wanted to go over there with me.” “So you were treated like everyone else?” I asked. “No, everyone was nice to me and no one picked on me and if anyone did, kids defended me.” “Cool,” I said. That was the life I always wanted, everyone to be nice to me and protect me from mean kids. “You were so lucky to be normal,” I said. “What’s normal?” Jason asked. “Being treated like everyone else and no one treats you different,” I said. “No, I was given special treatment because I knew a rock star my mom was dating and they were just using me. But once they found out there was no way they would get any money from him or have my mom or him sue people for them, they stopped being my friend and having too many of them was way too exhausting. Then Peter decided to go on his 1995 Tour around the country and he got me a tutor and we were on the road with him. I got to see lot of places and it was too much because everything was new and unpredictable. I didn’t know where I was going to sleep or where we were going to stay and what the room will be like or what food there will be. My mom did her best by bringing our own sheets and my own stuff and trying to make it all feel like home and she would leave me in the room by myself while she and Peter had their own room to stay in. My mom saw how hard it was for me and Peter wanted to continue his music and she didn’t want to tour with him and she wanted to just stay home in Spokane.” “So why are they not together anymore?” I asked. “My mom didn’t like how he was always with his music and she was unhappy in the relationship and some people thought she was a gold digger?” “What’s a gold digger?” “Someone who only wants you for money. She was unhappy and she didn’t like to be alone either all the time while he would be touring. She has battled depression off and on and she was happy when they got together but after a while she was unhappy again and Peter would be unhappy if he couldn’t do his music and tour. It was his interest. There was no way Mom was going to make him not do his interest or else he would be unhappy so they broke up and we went back home after the tour and her and I moved out and she got a job here so we moved here.” “Why here instead of getting a job in Spokane?” “There were no jobs for her so she looked elsewhere and found one here. But since then she has been doing other things for money like being a substitute teacher or selling make up.” “Is she in another relationship now?” “No. She hasn’t even had one since Peter.” “How come?” “She has a hard time with them so she says they aren’t for her and it’s too much work and everyone says men and women are a lot of work and so are relationships.” “How are they a lot of work?” “I don’t know, my mom says they are hard work and it’s too complicated to explain. I mean you find someone and live with them and do stuff together. How is that hard work?” “I know,” I said. “You just find a guy you like and go out with them and watch TV with them or play video games with them and sleep together and have kids, how is that a lot of work?” “Mom says there is a difference between friendships and relationships,” said Jason. “How are they different? In Relationships you love someone and marry them,” I said. “With friends, you don’t have sex with them and have kids with them or get married or sleep together and you can go out with many men as you want.” “Has your mom ever had a friend?” Jason asked. “Yes when she was a kid and she was friends with younger kids and she called my dad’s friends her friend.” “But she doesn’t have any now,” said Jason. “I think Allie’s mom is her friend,” I said. “Does she want more friends?” “I don’t know,” I said. “Your mom is actually funny, when we went to your house, my mom was calling me and calling me and when I came downstairs finally, your mom said “Ah finally, now I don’t have to hear that yelling anymore.” Jason imitated her voice sighing. “Then she was so anxious for us to leave so she practically slammed the door on us after we stepped outside and my mom was barely out the door when it closed. She said ‘Jesus, how rude’ and then the door opened again and your dad came out apologized for your mom’s behavior and said she had a hard day today so please excuse her. Then my mom asked if she is usually like this and he said sometimes but that’s Anita so don’t take it personal.” “Why does it make her funny?” I asked. “I don’t know. It just does. The fact she wanted my mom to stop shouting, she came upstairs and told me to come down so she will stop. She found a solution to the problem instead of crying and screaming and hitting her head because the sound was so painful. I used to do that.” I guess I learned something new here. When closing the door, the person has to be far away from the door before you close it. “How far away do you need to be away from the door before someone can close it?” I asked. “My mom always waits until someone is all the way over there,” he pointed at the wall, “before she closes it.” “But that’s not how far people are when we close our door after someone leaves,” I said. Jason just shrugged. Then the door opened again and Mrs. Peggy came back in. “Hey, why are the lights off?” she said. She turned them back on and Jason jumped covering his eyes. “Will you turn them off?” he shouted. “It’s too dark in here,” said Mrs. Peggy. “Turn them off,” Jason yelled again. “They hurt my eyes.” He then kicked his feet and kicked at the table next to him and pushed the flower vase with flowers in it off the table. Water spilled out of it. “Jason, sit down and knock it off!” Mrs. Peggy yelled. “Too bright in here, turn them off,” he kept yelling. I just sat here and watched wondering what was going to happen next. “Sit,” Mrs. Peggy yelled again. Jason sat down and kept his head down with his hand over his eyes. “Okay,” said Mrs. Peggy sitting down. “I am back to talk to you two about messing with cars and playing in the parking lot. Now I will start with Jason, what were you doing out in the parking lot with Mrs. Kink’s car?” “I can’t concentrate on what you’re saying with these buzzing lights, they’re too loud,” he said. Mrs. Peggy got up and turned the lights off. Jason uncovered his eyes. “Better?” she asked. “Yes.” “What were you doing Jason out in the parking lot with Mrs. Kink’s car?” “I came out and saw Natalie was holding onto the car so I went in her car and put it in the right gear to keep it from rolling further,” said Jason. “So you just happened to come out in the parking lot and saw her with the car?” said Mrs. Peggy. “Why were you out there in the first place?” Jason was silent. “Jason?” said Mrs. Peggy. “I don’t know,” he shouted. “I am going to call your mother. Natalie, start with you, why were you out there with her car?” “I was out there with three other kids and they wanted me to mess with the stick shift and I refused so I pretended I didn’t know what putting it in gear meant and then one of them tried to show me but she slipped and fell and knocked the thing out of place and the car started rolling so I got behind it and stopped it and then they took off.” “Who were the kids?” “I don’t know their real names,” I said. “They go by nicknames,” said Jason. “Did you see the kids?” Mrs. Peggy asked. “Yes and that was when they took off when they saw me.” “Who were they?” “I can’t tell you or they will kill me.” “Kill you? They will be in serious trouble if they did,” said Mrs. Peggy. “No, I mean get mad at me and who knows what they will do to me for telling on them,” said Jason. “Jeez, you normies aren’t supposed to take things literal.” “And you aren’t supposed to not be literal,” Mrs. Peggy said back. “Why? Just because-“ “I was kidding. We take the killing phrase very seriously. People have been killed before and kids have brought weapons to school and started shooting so we take it very seriously when anyone says someone wants to kill someone. It is not something to be joking about.” “I wasn’t joking,” Jason cried. “It’s a figure of speech, jeez.” “But we take it seriously if you use that speech. Do not use it. It’s considered a threat.” “That is so stupid,” I said. “What’s next? Taking “it’s raining cats and dogs” seriously?” I asked. “Natalie, I just told Jason here about school shootings, it has happened enough already in this county that we now all take the phrase seriously and the joking. It would be a terrible thing if we all just assumed they were joking or using it as a phrase and bam someone got killed because we all ignored it thinking they weren’t serious.” Mrs. Peggy paused and then she said, “Since you two won’t tell me who the kids are, I will call both your parents. Playing with a car is serious and you can get in serious trouble for it and your parents would have to pay for the damage if that car hit another car or building. You both know you are not allowed in the parking lot.” “My high school allowed it,” I said. “This isn’t your high school, you don’t have a reason to be out there. I will be making the phone call right now.” Mrs. Peggy left again. Jason and I sat alone. I felt my diaper getting soaked from my pee. I looked at Jason and he didn’t even notice I was wetting my pants. He took out his Game Boy and started to play it again. “You’re so lucky to have something to do, I forgot my Game Boy,” I said. Jason kept on playing his not saying a word. I heard talking out there and I just sat and looked around the room. I peeked over Jason’s shoulder and watched what he was playing. He was shooting some monsters coming at him. He was flying some plane shooting stuff at them. The monsters were shooting back at him and he got blown up. Jason shook his Game Boy and hit his leg with his hand. He lost a life and he kept on playing again after his plane came back to life. The bell rang and I heard kids going to class and locker doors slamming. “I got out of Mrs. Bitch’s class finally,” I said. “Really?” his eyes lit up. He looked across the room. Then he died again. “Damn it,” he said. “Sorry,” I said. “That’s okay,” he said. He became alive again and kept on shooting. “So your mom got you out of her class finally,” he said. “No it was Mrs. Bitch that decided to put me in a different class but they put me in Mr. Brooks because the other class is full.” “Wow, she did something nice finally. I hate passive aggressive people.” “Why?” “They’re annoying, they always have an agenda and it’s a form of manipulation. They do something to appear innocent to others and they make you look crazy.” “I like Mr. Brooks’s room, he has all these computer games.” “I know.” “How did you know what games he has?” “I go in there too for some classes and I play on the computer when I am done with my school work.” I moved around in my chair and heard Jason pressing on the buttons on his Game Boy Color. I heard him scoot his chair away and went back to playing his game. I didn’t feel bored anymore and I felt better. The door opened again and Mrs. Peggy was back. “You, two, get to class,” she said. “Both your moms have been called. They will be coming here after school and have a talk and you two will come here in this office. Here are the notes to give to your teacher to excuse you being tardy.” She handed them to us and I kept it in my hand. I imagined my mom being stressed out about finding out she would have a meeting all of a sudden today all because of me. But at least I kept myself from getting into more trouble.
* * *
Jason and I met up again after school had ended. I saw Allie heading out to the busses and vans and I had just saw her in the hallway. “Oooo Allie, did your momma give you your punishment yet?” I taunted. She looked at me and asked “Huh?” “Yeah your punishment, what do you think of it so far?” I asked. “What are you talking about?” “Oh you can tell me, your mom let me picked put a punishment for you for stealing from me.” “She never punished me.” Allie looked confused like she didn’t know what I was talking about. She was still lying to me. “C’mon, stop lying, I forgive you for stealing my stuff,” I said. “Now we’ll both be mates. So what color do you have?” “Color what?” “The D’s,” I said. “What’s a D?” “Why are you still lying, quit it,” I said. “Stop being such a blonde,” she said. Allie just kept on walking and she headed out the doors. That was when I saw Jason coming and he stopped by the office too. I headed in the office and I overheard Mrs. Peggy talking to Mrs. Dorsell. “When we got a new student, I could tell the mother was off,” she was saying. “She was having a hard time filling out the application, she felt more comfortable if I gave her the tour and she never gave me any eye contact so it was hard to know she was listening or that she even cared and she never smiled so I couldn’t tell if she was happy or not or dissatisfied. Then she ran off and I never saw her again.” “She could have problems with nonverbal communication,” said Mrs.Dorsell. “People with it have a hard time showing it so they may be hard to read and to know if they are upset or frustrated or happy or bored.” Mrs. Peggy then jumped when she noticed me. “Oh Natalie, I didn’t see you. We were talking about….someone else,” she said. “My mother,” I said, “No, someone else, we have another new student here.” “Who?” “Just someone, we’re not allowed to say.” “This is a weird school; my old schools always said who the new students were.” “Wait in the room again like you did before,” she pointed. Jason and I walked into the tiny room again. I put my stuff down on the floor. Jason put his backpack down too. Crazy day I had, some kids bothered me about the movie I played in and wouldn’t stop calling me famous and asking for my autograph. I only played in one movie and they were acting like I played in lot of them like I was a famous movie star or something. I even got it in group therapy and Mrs. Grenzle told them enough and to focus on the topic. She didn’t care I was in a movie because she said nothing about it. “Have you ever been in a movie?” I asked Jason. “No,” he said. “But my mom has.” “What movies did she play in?” I asked. “Best Summer, The House on 31st Street, I can’t remember the other two.” “Why doesn’t she still act?” I asked. “She quit.” “Why?” “I don’t know. I never asked and she never said why.” I had never seen those movies she was in and I never heard of them either. “When she did she play in them?” I asked. “Before I was born.” “When.” “The eighties.” “When did she quit acting?” “When she was pregnant with me.” I was now curious about the movies she was in and when they were made. “You two have something in common now,” said Jason. “You’re both actors.” “Do people ever notice her?” I asked. “Sometimes. We were once at Saturday Market and some lady walked up to her and said “I know you” You played in Best Summer” and she shook her head and said ‘no’ and the lady kept telling her she looks a lot like whoever she played and my mom kept saying she never heard of any movie called that and I said to her she was in that movie and what is she talking about and my mom said I was joking. Then the lady left us alone and Mom told me she was lying because she didn’t want that lady bothering her and having to talk about the movie and she told me to be quiet next time when she denies being in a movie or denies who she is when anyone recognizes her and she wants privacy. It also didn’t help she was in a tabloid magazine when someone caught her with Peter and took a picture of them without their permission and put it in the magazine. I think that was also why they split up.” “Why?” “She didn’t want to be made famous for it. I remember her being mad about it when she found out.” “What did she do about it?” I asked. Then the door opened all of a sudden and in walked Jen with her blonde hair. The door slammed into Jason when she opened it. “Ow Mom,” said Jason. “Don’t stand near the door so people won’t hit you with it. I didn’t know you were there,” she said. Jen just stood and waited. Mrs. Dorsell came in. “Hi,” she said. “Now we are waiting for her mother to show up.” “I heard you were in a movie,” I said to Jen. “When did you play in them and why did you quit?” “It was too much work and it was in the early eighties,” she said. “Acting is a lot of work.” “Natalie was in a movie too Mom,” said Jason. “You’re kidding?” “No, she was in a movie. Man of the Class.” I felt nervous. “The one with Will Leham in it?” Jen asked. “Yes,” I said. “Oh, I guess you understand then how much work acting is and why I don’t do it anymore,” was all she said. She didn’t act all excited over me or asking for my autograph or even make a big deal about it. Then Mrs. Peggy came in and sat down. “We are still waiting for Mrs. Evans to show up,” she said. I notice the hallways were quiet. I saw the vans and buses were leaving. Then Mrs. Trunchbull came in. I was shocked. She looked at me and Jason and didn’t say a word. Then she asked me if I still had her book. I nodded. “Bring it to me please,” she said. “You can get it now while we wait for your mother,” said Mrs. Peggy. I got up and went to my locker. I grabbed 1984 and went back to the office. I handed it to Mrs. Trunchbull. “Thank you,” she said and held it in her hand. We all waited for my mom to show up. “Is your mom always this late?” Jen asked me. “I don’t know,” I said. “She better come soon, I hope she was stuck in traffic than leaving at the last minute.” Jason was playing his Game Boy again. Both principals stayed in the room with us. It was now ten minutes after school had ended. “Natalie, do you know when your mom is going to get here, is she coming at all?” Mrs. Peggy asked. “I don’t know, maybe she forgot. Better call her,” I said. “Darcy, will you call her mom for me?” Mrs. Peggy asked. “Yes ma’am,” Mrs. Dorsell said. She left the room. Then Jen said “Is that her?” I looked and so did Jason and Mrs. Peggy and sure enough there was my mother in raggedy clothes and she had some white paint on her. “There you are, we were about to call you. I am glad you finally made it,” said Mrs. Dorsell. “I forgot the time and I realized “Oh shoot, the meeting,”” said Mom. “I was painting my daughter’s room and I got so distracted I almost forgot.” “That explains it,” said Mrs. Dorsell. Mom walked in the small room and jumped when she saw Mrs. Trunchbull. She just scooted herself away from her like she was contagious and stood next to me. That brought back memories of how kids would act that way around me. Jen had her arms folded and Mom did the same too. “Okay, everyone is here now,” said Mrs. Peggy. “You can bring some chairs from out there.” Jen left and came back in with a chair and she sat. Mom brought a chair in too and also sat. Mrs. Kink just stood and so did Mrs. Peggy. Mrs. Dorsell started to talk. “There was an incident in the parking lot with both your kids. They were out there during lunch with her car,” Mrs. Dorsell pointed at Mrs. Trunchbull. “Excuse me, would you mind if I turned off these lights, I can barely hear you and concentrate on what you’re saying with these lights buzzing so loud,” said Mom. Jason started laughing. “I am not the only one who can hear them.” “Sure, be my pleasure,” said Mrs. Dorsell. Mom went over and turned off the lights. The room went dark. “Ah, that’s better,” Mom sighed as if she had just made it to the toilet. She sat back down next to me. “Now it’s dark in here,” said Mrs. Trunchbull. “At least there is a window,” I said. “I was thinking the same,” said Jen. “We’ll live,” said Mrs. Dorsell. “Lot of students here have complained about the lights in here,” said Mrs. Peggy. “Maybe it’s time you replace them,” said Mom. “We don’t use this room much and we just turn off the lights,” said Mrs. Peggy. “When was the last time these lights have been replaced?” Mom asked. “A while ago.” “How long is that?” “Let’s forget the lights and focus on what happened today.” Mrs. Dorsell continued talking. I saw Mom playing with her medical bracelet and her legs were shaking and she also played with her hair. Jen was just tapping her fingers on her arms. Jason was bouncing his feet and playing with the battery cover on his Game boy and I was just twisting my fingers and bouncing my legs too. Mrs. Peggy was tapping a pen and Mrs. Trunchbull was just rubbing her finger on her sleeve and Mrs. Dorsell was moving her hands while she was talking. Everyone was doing something and why did Mrs. Trunchbull want all her students to be still and not do anything? Everyone does something with their bodies and with stuff in their hands. “….But your daughter stopped her car from rolling so you can give her some credit,” said Mrs. Dorsell. “Give both these kids credit.” “So why are we here?” Jen asked. “Because there were other kids involved and they took off and none of them will tell us who?” “Jason, who were the other kids?” Jen asked. Jason didn’t answer. “Jason?” Jen said again. “I don’t want to get I trouble by them for tattling,” he said. “It’s not tattling, this was very dangerous,” said Mrs. Dorsell. “It’s telling on them isn’t it? No one likes tattle tales.” “Not if it was something dangerous or if someone was hurt,” said Jen. “We stopped her car from rolling,” said Jason. “And why did you?” Jen asked. “I didn’t want Natalie to get into trouble.” “Natalie, what did the kids say to you before you went out in the parking lot?” Mrs. Peggy asked. “They said to finish my food and to come out to the parking lot with them,” I said. “Did you know why they wanted you out there?” “No,” I said. “What happened when they brought you out there?” “They took me to her car and told me to see if it was unlocked and then they told me to put it in gear.” “And then what happened?” “I said I didn’t know how so one of them tried to show me how and she fell and fell on top of the stick shift and it knocked it out of place and the car started rolling.” “She?” Mrs. Dorsell asked. “”So what happened next” Mrs. Peggy asked. “The car rolled and I ran behind it and stopped it and then they ran off when they saw Jason.” “Were you going to put it in gear if you knew how?” “No,” I said. “So why did you ask?” “I don’t know,” I said. “They said it will make me normal if I do what they say.” “Normal?” Mrs. Dorsell asked. “That is just a setting on the washing machine. You are Natalie, not a setting on the machine.” “Who wants to be?” Jen asked. “That is so boring. If being normal means getting into trouble, then you don’t want to be normal.” “I agree,” said Mom. “People smoke and drink and do drugs, who wants that? If that is normal, then why do you want to be that? Don’t be Brian.” “Who’s Brian?” Jen asked. “My son, he did drugs in his teens and I found out he did some smoking with his friends and tried a few drinks. He is in college now and on his own. He is in his last year of school. He will graduate next fall. His work is just slowing it down. He is so busy with school now and work, we never see him.” “Uh, we are talking about a car here,” said Jen. “I know,” said Mom. “So why are you bringing up drugs and smoking and drinking?” “I don’t know. It just came to me.” I was shocked what I just found out about my brother. He smoked and drank? I only knew about the drugs because I remember the day Mom found them in his room and then she was always snooping in his room to make sure he wasn’t doing drugs and then he threatened to kill himself so they sent him off to a hospital in Portland. I also remember some other stuff he did like gunning the engine and Mom and Dad not letting him drive their cars after that. Same as when he would blast music loud through the streets. I feared becoming a teen because I thought I would have to act that way when I become one and fight with my mom all the time and yell at her and be stupid. Now I know I don’t have to be that way just because I am a teen. Normies are so stupid and so is Kelly. “Jason, what happened when you went out in the parking lot and why did you go out there?” Mrs. Dorsell asked. “I saw her eating with them and then I noticed they were gone so I went looking for them and I went out in the parking lot and looked and I saw them at her car so I ran to them and they took off and Natalie stayed behind her car holding it so I went inside it and put it in park,” Jason replied. The meeting went on and Mrs. Peggy decided they were not going to punish us because there was no collision and we were both heroes by doing the right thing. Mrs. Peggy said she would still like to find out who these kids were because they were part of it too. Mrs. Dorsell told Mom I should have a teacher with me at all times so I wouldn’t get into any trouble and it would help me through school since she hears I have been having issues with other students and I display some inappropriate behavior in class and my teachers had noted when I see kids do things, I do it too and don’t know when to stop and having a teacher with me would help with my social skills. I wonder why people keep bringing up social skills. What were social skills? That is one of the things I hear about that is wrong with me. I can be normal and not have to make cars roll or do drugs or smoke or drink or fight with my mother. I would be a smart normie, not a dumb one. “You talk about other students in front of other students?” Jen asked. “That’s not appropriate. It should be kept personal, not aired in front of another parent and student. It’s none of our business. And they say we’re the ones with bad social skills?” “People gossip, call other people retarded behind their backs who are different, ask if you are pregnant, pick on others who are different, some don’t bus their tables or wait in line and some bring more than maximum items to a checkout when the sign specifically says eight items or less and some lady had seventeen items, they have very bad social skills,” said Mom. “Mine are better than theirs.” “Those aren’t social skills, that’s etiquette,” said Jen. “A lot of people have bad etiquette.” “Etiquette is part of social skills,” said Mom. “Etiquette has nothing to do with social interaction and communication.” “Talking about my daughter in front of you and your son, that was some bad etiquette there and you called it a bad social skill.” “Whoa whoa whoa, stop you two,” said Mrs. Peggy holding her hands out and saying the word stop in sign language. “Our bad, we shouldn’t have been discussing this now in front of you two, we apologize. We normal people sometimes goof up.” The meeting ended and Mrs. Bitch left and Jason and I headed out in the hallway. “My mom corrects everyone about their behavior,” said Jason. “Oh,” I said. “Etiquette and social skills were her favorite interests and so were idioms so she always read about it and watched shows about it and she used to talk about it all the time and she goes around correcting other people and it’s so ironic.” “What makes it ironic?” “Because I found out it’s rude to tell other people what they are doing is rude unless they are a child and my mom is having a bad social skill.” Jason was laughing. “So Mom was rude in the office because she interrupted and told her what she is doing is wrong and that is rude.” “Why is it rude?” “I don’t know. I didn’t decide what is rude and what isn’t.” “You should tell her about it being rude.” “I already did and she said if normies are allowed to be rude, so is she.” We were now outside when we heard Mrs. Trunchbull talking. We turned and looked and there were our moms standing right by her and she was walking away from them and they had their arms folded and walked after her. “What are they doing?” I asked. “Why is she afraid of our moms?” Jason asked. Then Mom ran after her and Mrs. Trunchbull ran to her car and Jen said “Anita, I think that is enough, leave her be.” “What are you guys doing?” I asked when I came over to them. “Just messing with her,” said Jen. “She thinks we’re going to bite or something. I don’t know what she is so afraid of so I just thought we could tease her a little by talking to her and follow her. I bet she was so afraid of you too, that was why she put you in a different class.” “Why would she be afraid of me?” “I don’t know. Why was she afraid of me? I got Jason out of there and it made her afraid of me for some reason so I sometimes have fun looking at her and folding my arms and for some reason that makes her feel threatened. She got her ass kicked by one of her students so she pressed charges on him and his parents took him out of this school. Jason told me you have been giving her trouble and you got her nose when she grabbed you.” Mrs. Trunchbull afraid of me? I was shocked. There was nothing to be afraid of me about. Was she really afraid of me she would lie to the principal about putting me in a different class? She just couldn’t control me and why would that make her afraid? I suddenly realized why Mrs. Trunchull decided to be nice and put me in a different class. I kept acting up and driving her crazy so she had decided to tell the principal I was better off somewhere else and told her I was having a hard time with other students and with her. I had finally done it, I got what I wanted. Now I didn’t have to worry about her anymore. Maybe if all the students do what I did, she won’t have any more students to teach and we would all be in Mr. Brook’s class where our English is. I wondered what Mrs. Trunchbull would do in an empty class. I kept on walking in the parking lot and then I noticed Mrs. Trunchbull standing beside me. “I thought something about you was familiar. Then I hear you were in that movie and now it makes so much sense. You have turned my class into his.” Then she walked away but there was Mom standing right there by a car looking at her. Mrs. Trunchbull jumped and walked away as Mom kept looking at her. Confused, I just shrugged. Mrs. Trunchbull headed to her ugly brown car. Mom and I just got in our minivan and she started it up. I saw Mrs. Trunchbull pulling out of her parking space. Mom didn’t say anything about what happened today. “Why is she so afraid of you and Jen?” I asked. “I don’t know, she just is. I never touched her or threatened her so why would she be afraid?” “I don’t know,” I said. There was silence for a few minutes and then Mom said, “Natalie, I am very proud of you.” I was confused and shocked by that comment. How often do I hear this from Mom? “What?” I asked. “I’m very proud of you,” she said again. “Why?” I asked. “At your age I probably would have just let the car rolled since I wasn’t the one who touched the gears and I would be too shocked to see it moving and not even know to actually get behind it and if the vehicle belonged to someone I didn’t like, I would have just let it rolled and watch it crash into whatever it hits. But you handled it well but too bad your dad will never know about this.” “Why?” “Because he will get mad like always so don’t tell him about the car.” I wondered why he would get mad. At least the car didn’t crash and even though it belonged to Mrs. Trunchbull, I was too afraid of what would happen to me so I couldn’t let it crash. If nothing bad would happen and I wouldn’t be in trouble at home, I would have let It crash. This whole car thing made me think of a scene in This Boy’s Life where Leonardo DiCaprio was with a friend of his and they both touch someone’s car and get inside it and then it rolls down the hill and they watch it. I didn’t want to be bad like him. He was always getting into trouble. That was what was going through my head the whole time. But part of me wanted to get into trouble since I hated my life anyway and I am meant to be a bad person so I will mind as well be bad but I chickened out and stopped the car.
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