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Post by Bad Beth on Nov 4, 2013 18:18:44 GMT
Chapter 21
I woke up to my bedroom door being opened. “Phew, it smells like someone farted,” said Dad. “Dinner is ready.” He left leaving my door opened. I must have fallen asleep. I got out of bed and my diaper was still messy. I had forgotten to change it. I felt for leaks and looked at the front of my diaper and the whole entire front was wet. I knew Mom was going to check me again and clean me up. I saw Mom pulling Matthew out of his bedroom. “Everyone is waiting on you,” Mom told him. I walked by them and Mom let go of Matthew. “Glen, will you take him down, I am going to check Natalie,” Mom told him. “Come on Matthew, don’t you want to eat?” said Dad taking over. Mom took me into my room. “Smells like you need it,” she said. “Have you been taking your odor pills?” “I forgot today at lunch,” I said. “If you keep forgetting, kids are going to find out.” Mom started to check me and she knew I leaked. She pulled my pants down. “Why didn’t you change?” she asked. “I forgot,” I said. “Forgot?” said Mom taking a diaper from my closet. “Yesterday it was because I didn’t tell you you could leave your room to change and this time you forgot? What will it be tomorrow or whenever you mess yourself again?” She also went to my bed and picked up a cloth diaper. “Do you want to try these or wear this?” she said holding the disposable up. “I’ll try cloth,” I said. Mom tossed my disposable diaper in the closet. I lied down and she took my messy diaper off and she said it was too wet to even use it to wipe the rest off my skin so she used all the wipes I had in my container. It took a while to clean me up. “I think you like getting your diaper changed,” said Mom. “You have told me before you don’t like doing it so you rely on me doing it and your father thought you would get sick of me doing this and get tired of having Matthew and Kelly getting mad at you for holding them up. I can’t change you forever because someday you will be out on your own and I am not driving fifteen miles or to another state just to change a diaper unless you want to live here for the rest of your life and I don’t want to drive to your work every time to change you. I hope you will be able to take care of all this soon or later.” Mom was snapping the cloth diaper on me when Dad came in our room. “We’re almost done,” said Mom. She grabbed the plastic pants and hand them to me. “Put these on and a pair of pants.” I took them from her and Mom left my room with my messy diaper heading towards her bedroom. I put the plastic pants on and Dad noticed the graffiti on the wall. “What’s all this?” he said. “We’re going to paint it anyway,” I said. Dad looked at the drawings. “What is with all these pictures? Oh my god, Natalie.” “Mom drew some of them,” I said. “Anita,” Dad shouted. Mom came in my room again. “What’s all this here?” Dad asked again. “Therapy,” said Mom. “What’s that supposed to mean?” “A way to express herself and let her feelings out.” “So you’re encouraging her to write on her walls and write all this,” he pointed to the profanity. “She did it herself, I only showed her what I used to draw as a kid.” “You did this too?” Dad shouted “She wanted to know what I used to draw so I showed her.” “These are all terrible and you showed her this?” “C’mon Glen, they’re just pictures it’s not like she was planning to blow up a school or bring a gun to school and shoot anyone,” said Mom. Then Kelly came in my room. “What’s taking so long, I’m starving.” Then she saw the graffiti on the walls. “What the?” She looked and then said, “What the hell?” “Mom and I drew them,” I said. Dad and Mom kept on arguing about my wall and Kelly just stood there. “I don’t need her drawing on walls now just because her own mother said it was okay,” Dad yelled. “We’re going to paint it anyway, stop over reacting,” Mom shouted back. “So we’re going to have to buy paint now and then paint over her stuff whenever she does it?” said Dad. “Jesus Anita, we want to teach her appropriate social skills, not teach her how inappropriate to act and this is going to get her in trouble if anyone sees it. I can’t believe you used to draw all these pictures of your little brother and you showed it to our daughter.” “She wanted to know,” said Mom. “This isn’t appropriate for her.” “She’s fifteen.” “And easily influenced and impulsive, then you show her all this? I don’t even know why I let you raise our kids instead of hiring a housekeeper nanny.” “I think you get too over protective of her and then you want her to grow up and think I am being too soft with her and then you turn around and act like she can’t handle it. Jesus Glen do you realize how wishy washy you are?” Mom said back. Dad sighed. “This isn’t black and white you are making it be. These are just drawings, we are going to repaint this wall anyway so I understand your logic in letting her do all this but that wasn’t the point, this is about the pictures and what she wrote and what you drew, not what you two did it on. I can try fifty different ways of explaining it to you and you will still think I am being wishy washy because it’s either have them grow up or don’t have them grow up. But I am telling you her drawing all this will get her into trouble. Maybe not today or now, but if she starts doing this and it becomes a habit for her, someday she will get in trouble if someone sees it and we don’t want her losing her job or ruining her life or going to jail for a “threat” she did when she was only expressing herself.” I had made my parents fight again all because of my drawings and what I wrote and I let Mom showed me what she used to draw. I felt guilty for causing all this. Kelly stared at the wall and said, “These are all terrible,” she said. “Natalie said they were brutal,” said Mom. “They’re gruesome,” said Kelly. “Ugh, I can’t look at them anymore, it’s too twisted.” “Mom, Dad!” Matthew screamed from downstairs. “Let’s have dinner now,” said Dad. “Natalie, I hope you learned a lesson about all this, don’t draw these pictures anywhere.” I put on a pair of pants and my butt looked thick from the cloth diaper. I was even surprised how thick it felt on me and how thick it looked. I went downstairs. I sat down at the table. “Finally,” said Kelly. Mom and Dad came down too and also sat down at the table. I ate slowly as possible even though I was starving again. I didn’t want to be stuck in my room again and I knew I had to tell Mom about Mrs. Bitch/the Trunchbull. I just felt too nervous telling her. I was just going to bring the recorder to school and start recording her. Kelly was talking about her babysitting job again. “Did you know Veronica is back from the hospital and she is in lot of pain she can barely move and she is in a wheelchair now?” “Does she wear diapers too like Natalie?” Matthew asked. “Yes, I saw them there too in the living room where she is sleeping. She also has lot of bruises and she has to take medicine for pain and thank god I didn’t have to take care of her because she has a nurse that comes over. I would hate to change a fifteen year old and wipe her butt.” I felt excited for some reason. I wasn’t the only one in diapers and now my old friend was wearing them. “What comes around goes around,” said Mom. “And she isn’t back in school yet because she hurts too much. She is still recovering.” I was so glad I wasn’t in that much pain or in a wheelchair. I was still a normal person who could walk and do anything. “She looks awful,” said Kelly. “She asked me some questions about Natalie like if she ever hurts from the crash and I told her no and she asked me how long was she in the hospital for and I said two weeks and she said Natalie is so darn lucky and she had to have it worse than her.” “Wow, that is horrible,” said Dad. “I can’t imagine how hard it must be for the whole family.” I pictured Veronica looking in bad shape and her looking gross. I was no longer the only person incontinent from a car accident. I wonder if it meant there would be something between us now. She would never look down on anyone who has to wear diapers and I wonder if that meant she would come back to me. But yet I wanted to get back at her for what she did to me, tease her back about her diapers and make fun of her about it, call her gross and complain about the smell just to show her how it feels and then we would be even. I wonder what other kids and her friends would think of her diapers. Then she would see how it feels to be dumped for wearing them and kids teasing her about it. Matthew kept kicking and swinging his legs accidentally touching my chair and legs. “Stop,” I told Matthew. He would stop and start doing it again. He touched me again with his foot. “Quit it!” I shouted. “What’s going on?” Dad asked. “He’s kicking me,” I said. “I’m not trying to,” he said. “Matthew, please try and not swing them so hard, Natalie pull your chair down further, Kelly, move down just a little bit.” Kelly scooted her chair down and then I did too. “There, is that better, now Matthew shouldn’t be able to kick you,” said Dad. “When did Veronica come home?” I asked. “Yesterday,” said Kelly. “What does she look like now?” “Very bad shape.” “What kind of bad shape?” “Bruises, cast on her arm, cuts, hair cut short, broken bones in her back, she needs help getting up and lying down, she needs to be pushed around in her wheelchair, her family put a platform on their stoop for her chair.” “Was the nurse there when you baby sat?” “She was there when they left and she left before they came home.” “How often does she come over?” “I don’t know, pretty often, she is a nurse that comes to home to home taking care of patients.” I asked more questions about Veronica. Matthew still swung his legs but he didn’t touch me with his feet. Then I felt a little hit on my bottom leg. I swung my foot back at him and kicked him hard. “Ow,” Matthew cried “He kicked me,” I cried. “I did not,” he said. “Yes you did, I felt it.” “Natalie, no dessert,” said Dad. “You know better than to kick your brother and I don’t care if he did it first. You’re bigger than him.” “Mom’s kicked him before,” I argued. “That’s different and there is a difference between a parent showing a kid how it feels and kicking them back for revenge.” I still thought it was a double standard. I swear Dad just makes things up, it’s okay for them to do things but not me and he makes up a reason for it. “I don’t care,” I said. “You don’t care? That is fine then, at least you wouldn’t mind not having dessert,” said Dad. I ate my food slowly. “Ow, Matthew, stop,” Dad told him grabbing his leg. Matthew talked again and it was about dinosaurs again. Kelly just sighed. I ignored it. Mom talked about what she saw on TV in court shows. No one even mentioned the earthquake. “Dad, did you feel the earthquake?” I asked. “Earthquake?” he asked. “Yeah, the whole house shook while you were gone.” “It was only a second,” said Kelly. “No, it was more than that,” I said. “It happened while Mom and I were in my room and then the whole room shook and Matthew shouted the house was shaking and Mom left and then the shaking stopped.” “I didn’t feel a thing,” said Dad. “Maybe a huge truck drove by.” “They don’t come to this neighborhood,” I said. “It was a big one,” said Matthew. “It didn’t even last more than five seconds,” said Kelly. “You said a second,” I pointed out. “Whatever.” “Well if it was an earthquake, I am sure we will hear it on the news,” said Dad. “I wonder why I never felt it.” “Maybe it didn’t hit where you are,” I said. “Earthquakes travel pretty far,” said Dad. “If it was a big one, I would have felt it. I am sure there would have been damage around here too.” “There was no damage in the last one,” I said. “Actually there was,” said Dad. “Our town may not have gotten damaged except we felt a little shake but there was damage down in Oregon where it started and some people in Portland said their car alarms went off, books fell off their shelves, items falling off shelves in stores outside of Portland, a high school needing to be torn down and rebuilt in a small town because it was badly damaged from the quake, they had to tear down a warehouse in Portland because the foundation was too badly cracked. It left million dollars of damage.” I was shocked. I never knew such a small earthquake could cause millions of dollars of damage. “All it takes is a few seconds for buildings and bridges to collapse,” said Dad. “The one in 1989 didn’t even last twenty seconds and San Francisco already had millions of dollars of damage and it was a little stronger than the one we had. They were where the earthquake directly happened and had the World Series going on there so it was caught live on camera.” Kelly finished her food and just sat there. Matthew was still talking about dinosaurs while Dad talked about the earthquake.
After dinner, I saw Dad opening the mail again. He was tossing junk mail aside and then he said “Oh, I got one from the courthouse again, let’s see if they moved my court date again.” He ripped it open and looked at it and said “It was just a reminder that I have to be there by two. So that means Anita you have to let me drive to work and Natalie would have to take the van again and I can leave work early for court.” I wondered what was going to happen. I was going to have to take the van again and face Mrs. Bitch also but at least I will have my recorder. I did my set of chores again and went back to my room without dessert. At least it will be less calories. I felt my bed for leaks and sniffed the covers and I smelled a trace of pee. It still felt damp so I pulled it off my bed and felt the sheets and pulled that off too but my sheet and it was dry. I went in the hall closet and got another sheet and blanket and put them on my bed and tossed the blanket and flat sheet in the hallway. I decided to watch video games so I put in Super Mario World and turned it on and watched the demo. Mom said I couldn’t play them but she didn’t say I couldn’t watch them. Then I put in Super Mario Kart and watched the demo too. But it made feel like playing those games and Mom took the controllers away. I turned the game and TV off. When it was time for me to shower, I went into the bathroom. I took my clothes off and my plastic pants and I was surprised to see the diaper was wet. I don’t remember wetting it. I took it off and threw it with the dirty clothes and the plastic pants too. I turned the shower on and waited for it to warm up and got in. After I was finished, I dried off and went in my room again. I grabbed the other cloth diaper and I started to put it on. It was just snaps and it was like putting on a disposable except it had snaps instead of tape. Then I put on the other pair of plastic pants. The cloth diaper did actually feel comfortable it felt like I was wearing clothes. I put my pajamas on. I lied down in bed bored and I wasn’t sure what was going to happen tomorrow. Was I going to end up with a teacher now or was I still on my own? I cried myself to sleep.
I woke up in the middle of the night. I felt my diaper and it was wet. I also smelled pee under the covers. I felt for leaks and there were none but the diaper was soaked it felt like I wear wearing a wet towel or something. I turned on my lamp and got out of bed. I didn’t even look at the gruesome images my mom drew. I took off my plastic pants and diaper and cleaned myself up and put on a disposable. I crawled back into bed and turned off the lamp. But I could just smell the pee from my diaper so I got out of bed and tossed it out in the hallway on top of the plastic pants and closed my door. I crawled back into bed again turning off the lamp.
I woke up again from Mom checking me. She felt my diaper and stuck her fingers in them and then she changed me right there in bed. Then she pulled the covers back over me and I watched her leave my room with my diaper in her hand. I went back to sleep again and Mom woke me up again at seven o five. She changed me again and got me dressed. I just lied there and didn’t help. “Come on, lift your foot up,” she said. Then she just slid the pants on my legs and pulled them up. “Lift your butt up,” she said. I ignored her. Mom got up and pulled me up and tried making me stand but I fell down and lied there. “Natalia,” Mom said in a frustrated tone. “Fine, dress yourself, you’re on your own and you can skip breakfast if you like and your hair and teeth.” Mom tossed my shirt at me and left my room. I lied there shivering and I pulled my pants up and put my top on and lied there some more. I heard Kelly getting up. I heard her go to the bathroom and the toilet flushing. I head her go downstairs and I thought I heard her say, “It smells like pee in the hallway bathroom upstairs, Natalie threw her diaper again in there but this time it’s a cloth one and she got it on our clothes.” “Nice tattling, I will figure out a way for her to put her cloth diapers when she is through using them,” said Mom. I heard Kelly argue back and then Mom said, “You can’t even take a compliment.” “Compliment?” Kelly shouted. “That wasn’t even one.” “Fine, I won’t give you anymore.” “Mom, why do you always do this?” I heard Mom talking and then Kelly saying “Every time you do something and then claim you did X, you go you won’t do Y anymore just because I was not happy about what you just did.” “If you’re going to get upset Kelly, I won’t even bother because I don’t know what other things will upset you,” said Mom. I heard Kelly growl. “Ughhhh.” It felt just like when Brian and Mom fought except it was Kelly and Mom fighting. I wonder if it’s a normie thing to fight with their mother who is different. But Mom fought with her Mom in her teens so I wonder if unnormies fight with their normie parents. But why don’t I fight with Dad? Would he be considered a normie? Or maybe I am just lucky. Maybe it has to be moms, not dads. If Mom were a normie, I would probably be fighting with her too. I got up later and Kelly was already leaving. I had breakfast, I am a fast eater. I had yogurt. Then I got my backpack and took my odor pill and I took some of them out and put them in the cupboard downstairs so I wouldn’t have to run to my pill bottle every time. I brushed my teeth and hair and Mom called my name because the van was here. I felt nervous all over. I grabbed my coat and got my shoes on and then I remembered I was going to bring my recorder to school but when I walked in the den with Mom calling after me, it wasn’t there. I started to look around the room but Mom said again “They’re waiting Natalie, come on.” Just great, now I was really stuck with real life Miss Trunchbull. I headed outside disappointed. Mom waved bye to me and told me to have a nice day. “Sure I will,” I said sarcastically. How could I have a nice day if she knows I am having a hard time at school? She won’t even get me out of that class unless I tell her what Mrs. Bitch does and how she treats me and her wanting to expose my secret if I tell. I walked to the van slowly and got in. I was nervous to see the kids. “We haven’t seen you in a while,” said Brian. “How we have missed you,” said Mark. Sure they missed me, I bet they missed picking on me is why so they are glad to have me back. I sat down and buckled my seatbelt. Music was playing. “I want to get away I want to fly away, yeah yeah yeah,” went the song. I hadn’t heard that one in a while. It was always playing in stores and restaurants and in school when one of the teachers would have the radio on before class and sometimes during. The van took off and we headed to pick up Jerry. The song continued and it ended and then the next song came on. “Hanging around downtown by myself and I had so much time to sit and think about myself…” Kids sang to the song. I didn’t know the words to it so I didn’t sing it. The song was never my favorite so I never cared for it. Then Cindy put her arm around me and sang in my face and I pulled away and pushed her away. Mark grabbed me next and sang in my face. “Quit,” I yelled. “Guys, leave her along, don’t touch her,” said Sam. “I don’t know what her problem is,” said Mark. “I don’t like people bothering me,” I said. “She’s another one of those kids who don’t like being touched and freaks out about it,” said Gary. I wondered if they had grabbed other kids before and they didn’t like it either. “I don’t know why my parents had to send me to this school; it’s so full of Ass Burger kids. Them and their dislike of touch, them going on and on about stuff no one cares about, them being too loud and annoying and can’t stop moving their bodies or walking around the room, and we have to have all these gay lights in the rooms and no ticking clocks, why can’t they just have the moving hand only or digital clocks, them freaking out if something touches them such as a feather, and they think everyone is mean to them so they act like bullies. Then we have that retarded quiet room because some Ass Burgers can’t control themselves and some throw furniture or freak out if they get a little correction or make a mistake. The work is too dumbed down and teachers teach too slowly and I have to always teach myself and I always get ahead of my class.” “Why do your parents send you there if you don’t even need to go there?” asked Brian. “Because they thought it would be good school for me and a great experience because I had problems with my teachers at my old school. They talked too much and they were boring so I was always bored and goofed off in class and was always in trouble so they thought I should go here and it’s also boring. School is so boring I would rather be homeschooled but my parents don’t believe in it.” “Why?” Mark asked. “They think it keeps a kid from knowing how to make friends and it stunts their skills and they think parents who keep their kids home are sheltering them and damaging them and not teaching them to face the real world or how to stand up for themselves.” “This kid on my block gets homeschooled and he is a wuss,” said Cindy. “He doesn’t even know what nine times six is and he is ten.” “Wow,” said Gary. “He is going to grow up to be a retard.” The song ended before we got to Jerry’s and I saw Cindy taking out an album and it said Radio Disney on it. She handed it up front to Sam and he took the CD out and put in her CD and it started to play. So far I enjoyed the album. It was a Space Jam song it was playing. I wondered why the album was called Radio Disney if it wasn’t playing a Disney song. We picked Jerry up and then we picked up the rest of the kids. We listened to the whole album, well not all of it, most of it. They played a couple Disney songs but the rest weren’t Disney.
When we got to school, I got out of the van and walked in the building. I walked in the health room and counted my diapers again. Still fourteen. Whew. I should still have that many after Spanish. I went to my locker and put my stuff away and took my binder to English with me. Mrs. Trunchbull wasn’t in there this time again. “Yay, Mrs. Trunchbull isn’t here yet,” I cheered. Kids were playing around in class and Lee was kicking a ball in the air with his foot. It was one of those bean bag balls. Janelle was sitting on her desk, she had her feet on her seta and her butt on top of the chair where your back goes. Russell had a straw in his hand and he was playing with Kleenex and he was ripping little of it off and putting it in his mouth and then in the straw and shooting it out and it would hit the whiteboard. Kenny was playing with an electronic game in his hand. It was making sounds. “Pikachu Pickachu Pikcachu,” I heard the sound. I looked and the silent reader had one of those Burger King toys in his hand and it was one of those electronic cards you put in and it makes noise. Russell was spitting a pattern on the board and then Patsy came in our classroom and announced Mrs. Bitch was coming. Everyone scrambled to their seats. Janelle jumped in her seat, Lee hid his ball in his pocket and sat in his chair, Kenny put his game away, Russell hid his straw and Kleenex and sat in his chair, everyone else sat down quick hiding what they had. Then Mrs. Bitch walked in the room. “Aw nice, everyone is seated, good job,” she said. She didn’t even notice the spitballs on the board. “You still have that assignment to work on I hope you worked on it or else I am giving you an F if I don’t have it by the end of the day.” I was so glad I got done with mine. When class started, Mrs. Trunchbull took our attendance and put it by the door. She turned on the overhead and we started to copy down the DOL and making corrections. Then I raised my hand up. Mrs. Trunchbull called on someone else. “Alyssa.” She went up to the overhead and started to make the corrections. Then we made the ones we all missed and then she turned the overhead off and Alyssa didn’t get the change to write down the corrections. Mrs. Trunchbull made everyone work on their paper again about what had been going on so far in their book they are reading. I had nothing to do so I read the rest of The Giver instead. “Natalia, I need to see you in the hall please,” said Mrs. Trunchball. Amber got a wide eyed look on her face and kept looking down at her book. She sat across from me. I got out of my chair and followed Mrs. Trunchball in the hallway. She had my paper in her hand I turned in yesterday. I stood against the wall and Mrs. Trunchball looked at me. She held my paper up. “You were the only one who turned your work in and I must say I am shocked you did actually read the book while you were out of my class. Also the punctuation is good and the grammar with little errors and lot of heavy erasing. Since this work is so easy for you and the book, I decided to give you a harder book to read so hand me your book now.” “What? No, I am enjoying it,” I said. “I want to keep reading it,” “Work is supposed to be challenging, not fun and easy so hand me the book now.” I held the book in my arms. “Okay, then I guess I will tell your whole class about your problem.” Mrs. Trunchbull headed into her class and I handed her my book on the way in so she wouldn’t spill my secret. Now I wouldn’t know what happens at the end. “Well class Natalia will be reading a different book than the rest of you because she finds the books I gave you students were too easy for her so I will hand her more of these challenging books for her to read,” Mrs. Trunchbull went to her desk and took out some books. She set them on the table and told me to pick out a new book to read. I had five choices this time. 1984, Lord of the Flies, The Handmaid’s Tale, Fahrenheit 451, and Brave New World. I have heard of 1984, I heard they have cameras everywhere and it takes place in the future but the future had already happened because we are passed that year now and people still aren’t watching everything we do. I looked at each book. I just took my time. I wanted to take my time because she took The Giver away from me. I felt I was being punished for doing my school work so as a consequence she took the book away and gave me different books to read. “No swaying your body,” said Mrs. Trunchbull. “Natalia, stop it.” “What am I doing?” I asked. “Keep your body still, it’s very distracting.” I tried keeping it still. “Natalia!” Mrs. Trunchbull shouted. I froze. I wished there was some device that would keep me in place so I couldn’t move my body. I stacked the books and built a little structure out of them but Mrs. Trunchbull scolded me again for playing with them and told me if I didn’t pick out a book, she will pick one out for me. I looked at the books again and decided on 1984. Maybe reading about being spied on will be interesting. I picked the book up and brought it to my desk. I had to fight the urge to not sniff it. I waited until she had her back turned before I opened the book and sniffed the inside of it. Kids giggled. Mrs. Trunchbull looked up. “Quiet,” she said. I started to read the book but right away I found it boring and I didn’t know what was going on. It was making me tired. I kept reading it but I kept getting distracted by thoughts in my head. I thought about James Bond and the games and I already missed playing the new game. I also thought about AB/DLs and diaper wannabes. I played with the pages and Mrs. Trunchbell yelled at me and told me if I ruin her book, she will make me pay for it. “I don’t have any money,” I said. “What did I tell you about being a smart mouth,” she said. “You didn’t,” I said. “Did you forget? Yesterday I told you I don’t tolerate smart asses and I am making you write on the board ‘I will not be smart in class.’” Oh she meant smart ass and being smart. “Your parents will pay for it if you ruin the book,” Mrs. Trunchbull yelled. “Respect other people’s property, if you ruin the book, you have ruined my property.” I waited for class to end, it seemed to have lasted forever and Mrs. Trunchbull continued yelling at other kids in my class. Then a sound went off. It was a siren sound and it was coming in the room. “Okay, who brought a toy to class?” Mrs. Trunchbull yelled. No one answered. “Tell me or all of you will come in here for lunch.” It was obvious it was coming from the left side of the room in the back. Mrs. Trunchbull followed the sound. Lee kept his head down and was looking at his paper. Mrs. Trunchbull got close to him and then she grabbed his jacket and yanked it from under him making him nearly falling out of his chair. Kids gasped and my mouth dropped open. She reached in the pockets and pulled out a toy ambulance. She looked at it and then she said “Ah ha, so there was a toy in my class. What did I say about bringing toys? Then she threw it on the floor hard and stomped on it.” “That was my brother’s and I didn’t know it was in there,” Lee cried. “You will say in here during lunch writing on the board with Natalia. Get to work,” she ordered everyone else. Kids looked back down at their papers and books. Lee looked very sad and it looked like he had tears in his eyes. For some reason I felt sorry for him. I then knew I must never ever bring anything of mine to class except school things. Mrs. Trunchbull could come and wreck them too. I was lucky she didn’t toss my Game Boy on the floor and stomp on it. She really was a Trunchbull. Then I farted loudly. “Okay, who broke wind in here?” Mrs. Trunchbull yelled. I didn’t answer and neither did anyone else. “Did you know it’s rude to break wind in class?” she said. Why would it be rude? No one can help their farting. If it happens, it happens. “If you don’t speak up, you will make the whole class come in here during lunch copying from the dictionary.” “I did sir,” I said. “It was an accident.” “Natalia, I am not surprised. Can you hold in your farts?” “No,” I said. “I don’t even know when they are going to happen.” “I will be adding that to your thing when you come in here for lunch and continue writing on the board.” “That’s not fair,” I cried. “We can’t help our farting, how can you expect us to hold it in, it’s like expecting us to not sneeze or cough or breath or sweat.” “You never quit do you. You never seem to learn your lesson but yet you seem to excel in reading and grammar and spelling.” I didn’t know what she meant by quit and learn what? “One more word out of you, I will start considering giving you isolation with other kids.” I kept quiet. Soon the bell rang and everyone got out of their seats. Mrs. Trunchbull never noticed the spitballs once on the board. “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe she never noticed my spitballs,” said Russell. “That sucks Lee how your brother’s toy had to get destroyed,” said Eddie. “Wow Natalie, I can’t believe what Mrs. Bitch did to you,” said Kenny. “I swear she wants us all to have a hard time with our school work and watch us struggle but whenever someone excels in it and gets it done, she makes sure they won’t excel.” “I will never know how the book ends,” I said. “Buy it or check it out from the library.” I headed to Math and I saw Joshua and his buddies coming and I was prepared for them to block my view. I grabbed one of their arms when they lifted it up to put it to my face. I pushed the kid away and kept on walking. I felt like James Bond for what I did. That is how he would stand up to his enemies if they tried to hurt him with their hand. I went into Math and sat down. We worked more on math problems and Mrs. Zeller told me again my tutor will meet me in here during lunch to catch up. “I can’t,” I said. “Why not?” “Because I have to go to go see Mrs. Kink again.” This time I remembered to say her real name. “Got in in trouble again?” “No, she extended it,” I said. “Okay, I will figure something else out then and let you know.” She then excused me. I left class and went to Spanish. I met with Jason again. He sniffed his nose. “Did you poop your pants? I hope not.” “No,” I said. I was hoping I didn’t. I always leak stool when I fart. “Did you wipe properly after you took a dump?” he asked. “Yes,” I said. “Maybe you farted.” “Maybe,” I said. I felt worried. Were the odor pills not working? He could smell my mess if I pooped. “Some people don’t wipe properly after taking taking a dump,” said Jason. “So they smell like poo. Some can’t even be bothered to take their time to clean up. Gross isn’t it?” “Uh yeah,” I said. “Have you gotten your Game Boy back yet?” “No,” I said. “Do you have any more stories about Mrs. B?” “Why?” I asked. “I want to hear what she had done lately.” “I can’t tell you or something bad will happen,” I said. “You told me about her yesterday.” “I know, it slipped. If she finds out I told on her, something bad will happen,” I said. “Why won’t you tell me the bad thing?” “I don’t know,” I said. “You can tell me and I promise I won’t tell anyone,” said Jason. I felt nervous. What was I going to tell him? I couldn’t tell him she threatened to tell everyone my secret or he will want to know what it is. Then I thought of something else. I will pretend watching little kid shows is my secret and she knows about it. “She knows my secret and she will tell everyone if I tell anyone how she teaches class and handles kids,” I said. “What is your secret?” “I can’t tell you, it’s embarrassing.” “I masturbate in my bedroom and make myself ejaculate,” Jason whispered. I didn’t even know what ejaculate was. I didn’t even care he masturbated. “So you can tell me yours, I just told mine,” he said. “I didn’t even ask for your secret,” I said. “My mom says masturbating is a personal thing and no one else’s business and no one wants to know about it and it’s something people don’t even talk about because it’s their secret they do in private.” “My mom used to make me do it in my room,” I said. “Why?” “She didn’t want me doing it anywhere in the house except for in my bedroom so every time I would do it, she would tell me to go to my room if I am going to do it.” “Wow, you used to do it in public?” Jason asked. “Yes,” I said. “Luckily I never had that habit.” “My mom did it until she was seventeen,” I said. “Whoa, seriously?” “That is what she told me. She said she was seventeen when she finally learned to not do it in public or around other people and her mother used to give her a slap every time she caught her and her brothers and sisters would be easier about it when they would catch her do it and try and redirect her from it. They were like her bodyguards and looked after her. I was six when I stopped doing it around people and my Mom was seventeen. She also told me she used to keep her twin sister up masturbating because she would be shaking her bed so she finally ended up sleeping out in the tree house and my aunt got her peace at night.” “And she did that out in public?” Jason asked. I nodded. “Jeez.” Then the bell rang and I didn’t get the chance to tell Jason the secret. I was saved by the bell. Mr. Leaf took attendance and he has us get into groups again but he didn’t want Jason and I partnering up again due to last time. I didn’t care because at least I wouldn’t have to tell him my fake secret.
After class ended, I headed to the health room to change. I counted my diapers again and this time there were thirteen. I slammed the cupboard in rage. Someone was taking my diapers. I know I had fourteen in there and I hadn’t used any yet today and I was still missing one. I took a diaper out and now I had twelve left. I wonder if I was going to have to bring more in here before the end of the week. I grabbed the wipes and took them to the restroom with me. I took off all my clothes and socks and took off my wet diaper and there was a little bit of poop in it. Jason really did smell it and he thought I farted or didn’t wipe my butt properly. I cleaned myself up and put the clean diaper on and threw my used one away and washed my hands. I got dressed again and put on my socks and shoes and put my wipes back and headed to the office. Mrs. Peggy was there. “Can I help you?” she said. “Someone is taking my diapers,” I said. “How do you know?” “I counted them and there is always one less than I use,” I said. “That is strange, why would someone be taking your product? I can see them taking band aids or pads but not your supplies.” “Well there are twelve left and I am supposed to have thirteen left. Actually I would have had fourteen left if anyone hadn’t been taking them and last week I had four left and when I came in this week, there were three left and then I stocked it and it left me nineteen and someone had been taking one each day.” “Are you sure about that?” “Yes,” I said. “Well you can keep them in your bag and then bring your bag in here to change.” “Or put a lock on the cupboard,” I said. “I don’t understand why someone would want to take one from you,” said Mrs. Peggy. “Unless someone also has the same problem as you but they would have their own if they did so they wouldn’t be taking yours. Do you just want to keep them in your bag and bring it with you in here to change?” “Okay,” I said. “I hope no one asks me why I must take it to the office with me.” The bell rang and Mrs. Peggy wrote me a note to excuse my tardiness. I headed to science next and handed Mr. Whirt the note. He told me to take my seat. I sat down. At least I know taking a seat means sit down, not taking a seat. I can remember the time Matthew got in trouble for picking up his chair and asking where to take it because he thought the teacher was telling him to take his seat, not sit. His teacher thought he was being a smart ass and made him stay in for recess. There was another time Dad said it was pouring buckets and Matthew argued with him about it and Mom said he was just joking and Dad said it was an expression. I remember hearing that phrase in the 101 Dalmatians movie novel and I knew then he meant it’s raining hard. There were no buckets falling out of the sky so he was exaggerating.
During lunch, I got some lunch and brought it to class with me. I met up with Lee in there. “We have to be fast,” he told me. “Mrs. Bitch doesn’t like us eating slow and she expects us to be done quick.” I ate my food fast, I always eat my food fast anyway. Then Mrs. Trunchbull came in the room. “Good you’re almost done,” she said. She had her food with her and set it on her desk and started to eat. I finished my food and told her I was done eating. She told me to throw my tray away so I did. I also tossed the fork and spoon in there too. I got back to writing on the board and I also had to write I will not break wind in class after ‘I will not be smart and talk back in class.’ When was got finished, he threw his tray and silverware away and Mrs. Trunchbull showed him what he had to write. It was “I will not bring toys to class.” Lee start to write it but he didn’t write very well. It was messy and hard to read. “Neater,” said Mrs. Trunchbull. “I don’t write good,” said Lee. “All my work is done on the computer.” “Writer slower,” she said. “Can I at least do this on the computer?” “NO,” she shouted. Lee start to write but his handwriting was still messy and Mrs. Trunchbull made him do it over. She told him this will be a good opportunity to learn to write well. I felt sorry for him. My handwriting wasn’t the best either but at least it was still readable. I used the eraser again to write in a straight line. Mrs. Trunchbull sat back down and ate her food again. Lee struggled hard writing neat on the board and he kept dropping the marker. I heard Mrs. Trunchbull snicker. I wonder if she was laughing at us. “Even Natalia can write better than you,” she told Lee. “At least I can read her handwriting and she can write faster than you.” I really wished I had my recorder with me and I would have been taping all this. I didn’t know where it went and someone had moved it. Lee tried hard and Mrs. Trunchbull kept telling him what a slob he is with his hand writing and how I write better than him. He got so mad, he threw the pen on the floor and ran out of the room and Mrs. Trunchbull ran after him. I felt calmer and continued writing. I didn’t know that would be the last time I would see him again for a while. Mrs. Trunchbull never returned and then I heard commotion and chaos when the bell rang. I was heading to my locker and I saw a bunch of kids and some teachers in a circle in the hallway. I looked and asked what was going on, what happened. No one answered and I saw Allie. “Mrs. B is on the ground,” she told me. I looked and there was Mrs. Trunchball on the floor. She was holding her wrist. “Is it broken?” a teacher asked. “No no, I think it’s just sprained,” she said. I saw Mrs. Peggy and she put an ice pack over her wrist. “What happened?” I asked her. “A student grabbed her wrist and twisted it,” she said. “Was it Lee?” I asked. “Don’t worry about it Natalie just go to class,” Mrs. Peggy told me. I wondered where Lee went. I went to my locker wondering what had happened. I didn’t see Lee anywhere. I headed to PE. I told Jason what I saw. “I heard,” he said. “Do you know what happened?” “No.” “I know what happened I know what happened,” said Ashland. “What happened?” Jason and I asked. “She got in a fight with a student and the kid grabbed her wrist and twisted it.” “Why?” Jason asked. “I don’t know. But I bet the kid is in real trouble now.” I knew it was Lee. I wondered what had happened. “How did it happen?” I asked. “I told you, he grabbed it and twisted it.” “But why?” I asked. “I don’t know.” “If it is sprained, I bet she won’t be in class for a while,” said Jason. “I doubt it, they just have to put a cast on it and it doesn’t stop her from teaching with one hand,” said Ashland. “Not unless she is right handed and her right wrist is sprained,” said Jason. Then Mrs. Jenkins showed up. “Okay I am sure all of you saw what happened in the hallway, there was a conflict between a student and teacher and the student got upset and grabbed her hand and twisted it but she will be okay so don’t you worry about her.” Worry about her? I wasn’t even worried at all. I was hoping she wouldn’t be okay. I was hoping more bad things would happen to her and she might be messing with the wrong students they end up hurting her because she gets them so mad. I wished I could be that strong too. Every time I want to hurt someone, I always chicken out before I do it. I just have too much niceness in me. Kids asked her who the kid was but she wouldn’t tell them. “It was Lee,” I said. “Natalie, you don’t know for sure,” said Mrs. Jenkins. “I was with him when he ran out of the room and she went after him and then there was a crowd in the hallway when lunch ended,” I said. “But you don’t know if it was him, it could have been another student she had conflict with. Please keep it to yourself, you don’t want to be spreading rumors. You don’t know for sure.” Then she told the whole class she isn’t sure who did it but I am just making an assumption so do not say it was Lee who did it because she doesn’t want a rumor going around about him if it’s not true. But I knew it was Lee. Who else would Mrs. Trunchbull have a fight with if Lee was the last person with her? I felt like he was a hero for what he did. Now hopefully she will learn to back off and be nice to us. We played a game of clean out the backyard. It was great exercise and we just had to pick up nurf balls and throw them across the gym to get all the balls to the other side. I could feel myself sweating and getting a good work out in my arms. I tried to throw good as I can and as far as I can. Even getting hit with balls was worth it even if it hurt a little bit. I hadn’t played this game since I was about eight. A few kids complained about getting hit with balls and would yell “Hey watch where you throw them, you almost hit me” and they would also say “Ow” and touch where the ball hit them. I totally forgot about Mrs. Trunchball and my punishments. I was having a lot of fun with this game. Jason and I were on the same side and we both threw balls over the middle line in the gym. I pretended I was James Bond and I was getting rid of all the bombs and tossing them back at my enemies. After class got out, I heard in choir Mrs. Trunchbull had to go to the hospital. I really wondered what happened and how badly hurt she was. It was as if I cared but I was just curious because I wanted to see if she was so hurt she wouldn’t be able to teach for a while. The student who had done it also got sent home and even Mrs. Nancy wouldn’t tell us who the kid was that did it. I said it was Lee but she told me the same thing Mrs. Jenkins told me. She also told me I should not make any assumptions without knowing for sure because I don’t want to be spreading any rumors or it would be slander and it’s against the law and they can sue me for it. Then she asked me what suing means and I told her it means get taken to court. “That’s right,” she said. “If that happens, you better have a very good lawyer and be ready for using freedom of speech as a defense. Slander can ruin someone’s reputation and cause damage so they can sue you for it for the damage you caused them. You need to be careful what you say about people because you can get in big trouble for it. Saying Lee Wong twisted her wrist can really destroy him here if everyone believed it was him. You don’t want to do that to him.” I didn’t see how it would destroy him. Everyone hates the teacher so why would they think badly of him? He would be seen as a hero. I would just ask him next time if it was him that did it and ask him what happened.
I changed again during Drama and counted my diapers and there were still twelve left. This time I brought my backpack in with me and put all my diapers in there and changed and left my wipes there and put the rest of my diapers in my locker in my backpack. No one asked when why I was bring it in the health room with me. I would just have to leave my backpack at school and just carry my binder and textbooks.
When school got out I met with Allie again. I told her about what happened. “I know, I heard,” she said. “I think I know who did it but teachers are telling me I don’t know for sure who it was and I need to keep quiet about it,” I said. “My mom says the same too, she told me I can’t mention names if I talk about something because it can ruin them and get me into trouble in the future,” said Allie. “It’s just to protect you from going to court, look at it as that. We all need to do things to protect ourselves like lock up our stuff, don’t bring any valuables, don’t wander into unsafe areas, don’t take candy from a stranger, don’t drink too much when you are at a party.” “I wonder what will happen to Mrs. Trunchbull and about the kid who sprained her wrist,” I said. “I don’t know. You’ll find out tomorrow.” “I heard she went to the hospital,” I said. “Really?” Allie asked. ‘Yeah.” “Wow, maybe she won’t be in school for a while.” “I hope she quits here and goes somewhere else,” I said. “Unless she comes back and does her revenge on the kid.” “Or press charges on the boy and has him arrested and he goes to jail,” I said. “Not if it was an accident,” said Allie. “People have gone to jail for accidents,” I said. “Or they were just lying and they just say it was an accident and they know it’s a lie because it wasn’t,” said Allie. “But I have heard of parents getting charged for accidentally hurting their kids because they were drunk when it happened or were on drugs-“ “That’s different, you shouldn’t be getting drunk or doing drugs so you are held accountable if you have an accident with your child. It can be prevented if you don’t drink and do drugs.” “Yeah I guess they do that to keep people from doing them but they still do it anyway,” I said. “People are stupid, they think it won’t happen to them.” “Why?” “Because they’re stupid.” Then Allie said she had to head to her van. I headed to mine and got in. I wondered how my Dad’s trial went. I would find out when I get home. We listened to music again on the way home and it was more Radio Disney from Cindy. She had two albums of it. The first song was a Disney song because it mentioned Disney characters. I felt I had heard the song before but I didn’t remember it mentioning any Disney characters when I heard it somewhere. There was also a song and the beginning sounded like Inspector gadget and the words did say in it “Go go gadget” so it was another Disney song since they did make the movie based on the series. We also heard a different version of American Pie and it was the Star Wars version. Well Star Wars has been released by Disney and they also have the ride. When the YMCA song played, we all did the YMCA thing with our hands and arms. “Hey what did the blonde say when she saw the sign YMCA?” I asked. “They spelled MACY wrong.” Gary growled. “Not again, don’t ruin the song with your dumb Ass Burger talk.” “I’m not Ass Burger, you are. You’re talking inappropriate,” I said. “Hey let’s not ruin the song you two,” said Brian. We all went back to the song. Then it ended and the next song was another Disney song. It went Boom da boom and I sang the da boom part and Gary told me to shut up. I sang it louder just to bug him since he was being a jerk. If I knew the words to the song I would have sang along with it so I only did the Da Boom part. I love giving jerks a hard time and making them mad when they are to me. That will show them to not mess with me. “Stop ruining the song,” said Gary. “Boom da boom boom boom da boom,” I sang. “It goes boom da boom. Boom boom da boom.” “Ahhh,” said Gary. “Can we trade a rider here?” “What’s wrong with singing to the song,” said Sam. “That’s the whole fun of it.” “We need to separate Ass Burgers from the un Ass Burgers so they won’t be so disruptive,” said Gary. “You think everyone is Asperger's Gary,” said Mark. Wow, he has said others have Asperger’s too. He sure likes to pick on everyone then and accuse them of having it whatever bothers him whatever they do. That would be like me saying anyone has OCD whenever they like to have a clean house or saying someone has ADD whenever they want quiet so they can concentrate or me saying I have ODD just because I can get violent when I defend myself or when I get mad or because I argue with people or annoy them on purpose when they deserve it. Soon I was dropped off at my house and Brian, Mark, Cindy, and Gary were left in the car. I carried my stuff inside and took of my shoes and set my binder on the kitchen counter to take off my stuff. Kelly was being Kelly again. She was fighting with Mom in the family room. “You never ask me anymore how my day went or how school went or how my friends are,” Kelly yelled. “Whenever I did, you got mad at me and it was never good enough so I quit asking and you’re still getting pissed about it. Jesus Kelly, why do you play these games?” Mom yelled. “I am not playing a game, you just never cared when you asked and then you don’t do it at all when I tell you.” “What do you want from me?” Mom asked. “I want you to show emotion, care, not do it because you’re supposed to,” said Kelly. “I am showing care, what more do you want? I’m showing emotion now.” “Arghhhhh, why can’t you be someone else?” Kelly cried. “Because I’m not someone else, I’m me.” I took off my backpack and took off my coat. “No, like the other moms. Why can’t you just try?” Kelly yelled. “I am trying, it’s never good enough Kelly is it? I don’t know what you want. I can’t even make you happy anymore. I’m done. You’re in counseling now so that is good and maybe then you will appreciate what I do and stop comparing me to other moms. I don’t compare you to your sister or to other kids and tell you to be like them,” said Mom. “You did one time when I broke a lamp in the living room and you told me to me more like my sister.” “Because you lied about it and she doesn’t lie so I told you to be like her meaning be honest and don’t lie.” “Talking to you is like talking to someone from another planet.” I hung my coat up in the closet and closed the door. “What is that supposed to mean?” Mom asked. “It means when I try to talk to you, you don’t get it and I can’t even make you get it,” said Kelly. “I don’t understand you at all Kelly.” “Really?” “Yes. I don’t. I never had and it was easier when you were little and now you’re almost a teen and it’s very difficult now. You have changed, your feelings and everything, I don’t know how to help you or how to talk to you, what I do now is never good enough and I don’t know what you want and you seem to talk in a weird language I don’t understand. You think you have it hard? Try being a parent to an adolescent, now that is hard. Everyone says having a teen is tough and they’re right. Brian was tough and so are you.” “What about Natalie?” “Sometimes but not as much as you. She has her own needs and interests so it makes it easier for me and I can understand her better.” There was no more yelling. It was just normal voices now. “What is wrong with you?” Kelly asked. “Nothing,” said Mom. “So why can’t you do what other moms do, give out love, be empathetic, not callous, be caring.” “I could ask you the same thing, what’s wrong with you?” Mom asked. “It seems like anything I do, you’re never happy.” “You’re needy,” I told Kelly when I walked in the room. “Needy?” Kelly shouted at me. “I’m needy because I want what most kids want?” “You seem to want more and it’s never good,” I said. “Mom, why do you always have to let her butt in, this is what I mean,” said Kelly. “Mean what?” Mom asked. Kelly slapped herself in the head. “Ughhhh and I have to spell everything out because you can’t seem to keep track of conversations and what people say it’s like you can’t even be bothered to listen.” “I can’t read your mind sweetie,” said Mom. “You have to tell me what you mean. Do I see your thinking bubble?” “What I mean is you let her butt in and that is what I mean by you don’t seem to care or give me any respect. It’s like we can’t even have a private conversation without having Matthew or Natalie butting in and you allow it. You also let them eavesdrop.” “We’re in a public room so how can it be private,” said Mom. “If t’s private, it would be in the bedroom or bathroom or any room that is enclosed. If you want a private conversation, say so. If you don’t want people listening to you talk on the phone, don’t do it in public, same rule in this home. Don’t talk in an open room where anyone can hear.” Kelly hit her head against the couch. “Just because two people are talking doesn’t give you the right to butt in, that is like a stranger butting in your conversation in a restaurant. That is so rude.” “Well in this house, anyone can talk. Unless it’s private and personal, it’s done in the den or bedroom. It was done that way in my family as a kid,” said Mom. “I bet you misinterpreted that rule,” said Kelly. “There were so many kids in your family, of course people would go in their bedrooms to talk or go somewhere private and your mother called it private talk and you took it literal. I will see about that with Grandma Del when I talk to her again or see her.” “Okay,” said Mom. Kelly got up and left the room. “Where’s Dad?” I asked. “Still in court. He will be home soon or call us to tell me what is going on,” Mom replied. “Wow I didn’t know they took that long,” I said. “Come here so I can check you,” said Mom. I walked over to her and she checked my diaper. Then she pulled my pants back up. “You seem to be in a better mood, anything happen in school?” Mom asked. “Mrs. Trunchbull got hurt,” I said. “Trunchbull?” “Mrs. Bitch. New name for her.” “What happened to her?” “She got in a fight with a student and he sprained her wrist and she had to go to the hospital. Mrs. Peggy had to give her an ice pack. I hope she won’t be back for a while.” “A sprain in a wrist is nothing, they just put a cast on it and you’re good to go. If it’s her left hand that is sprained, she can still write with her other hand.” “Shucks,” I said. “I was hoping she wouldn’t be back for a while and I hope she quits her job there. If more students hurt her, she might be nicer to us.” “Nicer?” Mom asked. “What do you mean?” Uh oh, I just realized I said too much. I couldn’t say anymore. I had to not talk about Mrs. Bitch anymore or else I might accidentally tell. “Nothing,” I said. “Forget it.” “No, tell me, do you want your game back?” “I will just suffer without them and try and do other things to keep my mind off it,” I said walking away. “Natalie,” Mom cried. I just ran upstairs leaving my backpack downstairs. I found Matthew in my room playing on my Super Nintendo. “Hey what are you doing and where did you get the controller?” I asked. “Mom gave it to me and she told me to hand it back to her when I am through,” said Matthew. He was playing one of my new games I got at The Rat Place. I watched him play. Mom never said I couldn’t watch video games. I went back to peeling some paper off my wall. We were almost done with it. We had gotten far. Matthew started talking about what he was doing in the game. I didn’t even care so I didn’t really listen. “This game is so much fun and you can throw discs,” said Matthew. At least he wasn’t talking about dinosaurs or math or numbers or any electronics or outer space. Sometimes that stuff is boring. Soon Matthew turned the game off and said “What’s with the drawings on the wall?” “Just something Mom and I did,” I said. “We’re going to paint it anyway so I drew on it and so did she.” “I know which ones are Mom’s, hers are more detailed and better and yours suck,” said Matthew. I always sucked at drawing and Mom was always good at it. I never bothered practicing is why and I don’t think I have the talent. “Ugh her drawings are gruesome,” said Matthew. “That is what Kelly said.” “What are yours supposed to be?” “Just a teacher who is mean and kids torture her and this one boy beats her up and she dies and someone pushes her off a cliff,” I said. “It’s like Matilda.” “You plagiarized,” said Matthew. “No I didn’t,” I argued. “You took his idea.” “No, that was about a mean principal, this is about a mean teacher,” I corrected. “She doesn’t do what the Trunchbull does.” “Then what does the teacher do?” “She makes her students be zombies, they are not allowed to move around in their seats, she will take toys from you and throw them on the ground and stomp on them and she will tape your hands to the desk if you don’t hold them still. You are not allowed to sniff books or bounce your legs and feet, you’re not allowed to doodle, you’re not allowed to succeed in class or she makes the work impossible for you, she will make kids stay during lunch and write on the board like Bart Simpson does and if their hand writing is messy, she makes them do it over and doesn’t care if they can’t write neat, she will accuse you of being a smart ass when you’re not, she will not help you figure things out and ignore your questions, she will make fun of her students and say one kid is better than them, she will even threaten to spill your secret and tell the whole school so you can’t tell anyone about your teacher and how she teaches her class and what she does,” I said. “Whoa, you should write a story about it,” said Matthew. “How do the kids get rid of her?” “I don’t know,” I said. “What if they all played Home Alone on her? Set traps,” Matthew suggested. “What kind?” I asked. “Make her trip, make her slip on things, put something above the door so it will fall on her, pull the chair out from under her when she isn’t looking, put a nail or thumbtack on her chair, put something sticky in a storage container and leave it in front of the door so she will step in it and have food container feet.” “Or they just do what I showed you in the drawings,” I said. “Isn’t murder illegal?” Matthew asked. “Yes but this will be a story,” I said. “What’s Mom’s about?” Matthew asked. “They’re called The Torture Adventures of Uncle John. It’s all about what people do to our uncle when he was a kid and they all torture him and sometimes he dies and comes back to life like Kenny does in South Park.” “Why?” Matthew asked. “Because they are sick of doing Groundhog Day and having things going his way so they abuse him and Mom enjoys watching it all,” I said. “I wouldn’t want to read it if Mom wrote it,” said Matthew. “Why not?” I asked. “Isn’t he autistic so why would someone want to torture someone with it, it’s not their fault they are the way they are.” “Mom used to have the drawing series until her mother found them and got rid of them,” I said. “We should write The Torture Adventures of Mom,” said Matthew. “Why?” I asked. “Just for fun, she drew one on her brother, why not do one on her?” “Because we’re not mad at her and don’t want anything bad happening to her, we don’t have those fantasies,” I said. “This is make believe,” said Matthew. “No, all these drawings were about feelings and we drew out our fantasies,” I said. “Mom wanted all those things done to her brother when she was a kid and she was showing me what she used to draw.” “So you want a teacher who is mean?” Matthew asked. “No,” I said. “But that is what you drew,” Matthew pointed out. I had realized I had accidentally told on her. “No, I drew what I want done to her, kids torturing her and killing her and I push her off a cliff,” I said. “But what about what she does to her students?” “Nothing,” I said. “You told me she makes her students zombies and tape their hands to desks and doesn’t allow doodling or help kids.” “Forget I said it,” I said. “I’m telling Mom,” he said. “No don’t,” I shouted. “Why?” “Because something bad will happen,” I said. “What bad will happen?” Matthew folded his arms. “Uh she will tell other kids I still watch kid shows,” I lied. “So, why is that bad?” “I don’t want anyone to know,” I said. “Why? Just when do you get embarrassed?” “Since I started my new school,” I said. “Why is it embarrassing?” “I don’t know.” “So it’s not embarrassing then since you don’t have a reason. Ugh I hate it when my brother pesters me like this and thinks if you don’t have a reason for something, then it’s not true. “Kids might tease me about it,” I said finding a reason. “I wanted a fresh start and she is already threatening me and I am not allowed to tell Mom and Dad and you can’t tell them either,” I said. “Well I won’t tell if you promise to be nice to Chris forever.” “What?” I said. “Yeah, I will keep my mouth shut if you be nice to my new friend. Pick on me instead of him.” “Why?” I asked. “Because I’m used to it, I have been your punching bag for bullies and now you have gone after my new friend.” “But what about the video game deal about your games?” I asked. “This is better,” said Matthew. “If you are mean to my friend, I tell Mom and Dad.” Matthew left my room. I noticed he had left the game controller in here. Now I could play video games again.
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Post by Bad Beth on Nov 5, 2013 23:58:40 GMT
Chapter 22
I was standing in my room debating rather I should play videogames or not. I would be breaking my parents rule but I was so depressed without them and being home was hell without it. Dad was still gone and Matthew came back in my room and played my Super Nintendo again. This time he played Sim City 2000. We talked again. This time we were talking about Veronica and how worse she has it than me. “I can’t believe she wears diapers now,” I said. “Now two people in the neighborhood wear them now.” “No, three,” said Matthew. “Mom is wearing them too.” “Huh?” I asked playing dumb. “I saw some wet ones in their shower.” “How do you know they’re hers?” I asked. “She is the only other person who wets the bed and her pants so it’s that obvious who they belong to and I sometimes can hear them in her clothes.” “Have you said anything to her about it yet?” “No.” “Why not?” “I don’t know.” “What do you think of her wearing them?” “I don’t know.” “You don’t find it weird?” “You wear them.” “But doesn’t it feel different about Mom wearing them too?” “No.” “How come you haven’t asked her why she is wearing them?” “Because I already know.” “What were you doing in their bathroom?” “All the other bathrooms were being used so I went in theirs and it smelled really bad and there were adult diapers in the shower in the trash bag.” “How do you know they weren’t mine?” “Because they’re a different color and you don’t throw yours away in there.” “How do you know they weren’t Dad’s or Kelly’s?” “They don’t wear diapers.” “Neither does Mom.” “She is the only other person who wets herself without a diaper on and she is the only one who runs for the bathroom and cuts in line or goes behind a gas station because they wouldn’t let her use their bathroom. Who else would be wearing them besides you?” “Kelly or Dad,” I said. “I still see their underwear in the dirty clothes and Mom’s are absent. Kelly’s underwear is different than Mom’s. I’m not stupid. But I did see one of your diapers in there.” “So that’s where she put it,” I said. “Why did you even look in there?” “Because it stunk and I wanted to see why it was smelling so bad and it was a bunch of adult wet diapers. That must have been a week of wearing them and she doesn’t even roll them up like moms do with baby diapers. I was glad to be done in there and the window was open in there.” “Mom must have gotten lazy if she doesn’t hide it anymore,” I said. “We never go in their bathroom so she didn’t think I would see them in there.” “I can’t believe you looked in the dirty clothes for her underwear,” I said. “I had to see who they belonged to and I only saw Dad and Kelly’s but no Mom’s,” said Matthew. “Maybe that is why they keep both their bathroom doors closed,” I said. I wondered why I still wasn’t allowed to throw my dirty diapers away in the kids bathroom if Mom could throw hers away in their bathroom. “I wonder if Veronica will be unhappy wearing them,” I said. “I don’t know, I can’t read her mind,” said Matthew. “I can’t wait to see what happens to her in school,” I said. “How are you going to see it, you don’t even go to that school anymore.” “I might hear about it,” I said. “Or just hope it all happens to her what happened to me and then we are even.” Matthew did more with the city he was building. “When were you in Mom and Dad’s bathroom?” I asked. “Monday I think.” “Did you find any clean diapers?” “I didn’t look.” “But did you see any?” “No.” “Why not?” “I don’t know.” I decided to be a Matthew. “But you have to have a reason for not doing it, it can’t be I don’t know,” I said. “I am just not interested in Mom’s problem,” he said. “Why not?’ “I don’t know. Why aren’t you interested when Kelly bleeds?” “Because it’s normal and I don’t care,” I said. “Why don’t you care?” “Because it’s normal, I get mine too.” “Well some people wear diapers because they can’t keep their pants dry or their beds or make it to the bathroom on time, what is more to know about it?” I thought trying to think of an answer. “Do you ever look for Kelly’s diapers?” Matthew asked. “Diapers?” I asked. “For her bleeding.” “Oh you mean pads,” I said. “No I don’t.” “What about Mom’s?” “No,” I said. “Why not?” “I am not interested,” I said. “Why?” “Because it’s boring and all women get their periods and I have seen them before and in the trash too.” “I find Mom’s boring and yours and I know why you both wear them and what else is there to know about?” “I don’t wear pads,” I said. “I meant real diapers, not the ones that go in your underwear for blood.” Matthew built more in the city and then he asked me if I had anymore why questions. “No,” I said. “Good, glad I got you to stop it.” “Stop what?” “Asking me why questions so I asked you them back to show how annoying they are.” “You do it too so I did a you thing,” I said. “No, you do them so I do them to be you,” he said. “No I do them to be you,” I said back. “No, you do them so I do them to be you to show you how annoying they are,” said Matthew. “No, you do them so I do them to show you how annoying they are,” I said. Matthew and I argued over who asks the why questions and it wouldn’t end because he wouldn’t stop arguing with me. I was getting frustrated. Then my bedroom door opened and I looked and there was Kelly with the phone and she held it up in the air. “No you’re the one who asks all the why questions,” Matthew yelled. “No, you do,” I said. “No, you.” “You.” “You.” “You.” “YOUUU!!!!” “NOOOO YOUUUUUU!!” I shouted. “Yeah that is how they argue, both have to be right,” said Kelly into the phone. “Sometimes it’s so hilarious to listen to them do it because they can’t win so it goes on and on.” I started to scream with frustration and Matthew kept cutting me off when I would explain how he asks why questions. Then Mom came in our room. “You both ask why questions so both of you are right,” said Mom. “Now you can both quit arguing and fighting.” “And Mom is a life savior to those retarded arguments,” Kelly told her friend on the phone. “Kelly, if I ever hear you say that word again, I am taking the phone out of your hands and hanging up,” said Mom. “Natalie, no video games until you tell me about your teacher.” “I’m not even playing,” I said. “Just a reminder,” and Mom left. “She can stop them from that arguing but she can’t even manage money or pay bills and she didn’t even learn to tie her shoes until Brian was little or ride a bike. She’s slow.” “I still can’t tie my shoes but I can ride a bike,” said Matthew. “I knew since I was six and seven,” I said. Then we heard the door open downstairs. “Finally, Dad is home from court. He did something retar-stupid he had to go to there for his sentence,” said Kelly. “Kids, come on down, Dad wants to have a family meeting,” Mom called. I knew I could leave my room because Mom was giving me permission to. I got up and left my bedroom and went downstairs. Kelly left too and came downstairs but Matthew stayed in my room playing. We sat down in the living room where the meeting was being held. “Where is that boy?” said Dad. “I will get him,” Mom sighed. She went upstairs and we had to wait and wait. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed. My diaper felt damp. Then Mom came down with Matthew. “Good, everyone is here now,” said Dad. Matthew and Mom sat down together next to Kelly. “There are going to be changes around here,” Dad said. “Change,” Matthew cried. I felt nervous but I was anxious to hear what they were. “I am very lucky I won’t be going to jail and I am very lucky I got off light since this was my first time offense and I have no criminal history or didn’t kill or hurt anyone but I have to pay the fine, court costs, the damage and I got my license suspended for six months. Then there will be high car insurance so Mom will be taking me off the plan so we won’t have to pay that much for six months unless I apply for a Ignition Interlock Driver License. I also am on probation until I pay off everything, I have to take an alcohol class and do forty hours of community service and I am not allowed to consume any alcohol and I have to do counseling. Because of the high costs I have to pay for my mistakes, we are going to have to cut back on bills. I know we can’t cut out phone and gas and water or sewage and trash. We also can’t cut out gas or food but we can cut out snacks and dessert.” “Noooo,” Matthew cried. “This sucks,” said Kelly. “We are going to have to get rid of internet and cable and it will cost us.” “No,” I shouted. “This can’t be happening.” I felt stressed out inside. No more Catdog , Rugrats , Spongebob, Hey Arnold, Caitlin’s Way, The Little Mermaid TV series, As Told By Ginger, The Wild Thornberrys, Franklin, SNICK, Vault Disney, and Bear in the Big Blue House, no more anything on cable you can’t get on regular TV. “I am sorry kids but we have to save money and we are going to be tight for a while and luckily we don’t pay much in house mortgage and it’s almost paid off because I have been paying more than the cost over the years to pay it off quicker but now I can go back to paying the normal amount and maybe check into having this home refinanced to bring the interest down so we can pay less on it. I will also have everyone who is wearing diapers switch to cloth and it will only be for at home and that will save us money. Fortunately we don’t pay for lot of luxuries and I will also cancel Time Share so we have more money to save to use for the cost I have to pay. I may also start having you kids bring your own lunch to school because it will be cheaper than buying school lunches.” “Noooo,” said Kelly. “This sucks. “Now I will be the only kid in school with a sack lunch because her own father drove drunk and crashed his car.” “It’s the way it’s going to be rather you like it or not,” said Dad. “Also we may cancel Christmas.” “Noooo,” all of us kids cried. “We can still put the stuff up,” said Mom. “Yes we can but no presents this year since I have to pay for the court costs and the fine and the damage,” said Dad. I started to cry. I hated going with no Christmas this year. “If you want Christmas, buy each other presents,” said Dad. “I don’t have any money,” I said. “You shouldn’t have thrown the crutch,” said Dad. “Natalie having to pay back for the window has gone too far,” Mom said. “She will never pay it off given how much you give her for allowance so that means she won’t get any ever again.” “Well people go to prison for the rest of their lives,” said Dad. “So Natalie is facing the real world and if she wants to get allowance again, she has to go find work around the neighborhood. Stop by at neighbors and ask if they need help with anything and have her do it and pay her.” “You know she can’t do that,” said Mom. “She needs to learn then doesn’t she,” said Dad. Mom then got up to check up on the food in the kitchen. Dad kept on talking while I kept crying and Matthew was all upset too and so was Kelly. “There will also be no allowance for a while, if you want to earn money, you have to earn it yourself somehow,” said Dad. Matthew started to cry and stomp his feet and kick. “I already make money from babysitting,” said Kelly. Then Mom came back in the room. “You know Glen, you’re acting like paying for all this is going to eat up your whole entire check so any money we have left over, can we please use it on the holiday for the kids?” “We’ll see,” said Dad. “So does that mean we won’t get rid of cable and internet,” said Matthew. “I am trying to keep us from paying for more bills so I am cutting back by cutting out luxuries and we don’t have many I realize. We just have to change how we live.” “I need my Fruit Loops,” Matthew cried. “We will still buy you your Fruit Loops,” said Dad. “I won’t be able to watch my shows and I need to,” Matthew kept crying. “I need my internet,” I cried. I was upset I wouldn’t be able to look up adult baby stuff anymore and chat to my online friends and going to the incontinent board and looking up James Bond and video games and doing Shockwave. Everything felt funny and out of place because of what was happening. I felt mad at Dad again for even drinking and driving. “Natalie, you are going to have to take the van to school again, we must save on gas and me taking the bus to work will help us save gas too so that is a good thing,” said Dad. “Any other ideas how to save money?” “This is gay, you’re just being cheap,” said Kelly. “What are you going to suggest next, that we all eat road kills or eat weeds for salad or go out and look for wild mushrooms or insist we wear worn out shoes and clothes if ours wear out? Are we going to repossess anything?” “No we are not getting rid of any furniture and our stuff but we can have an indoor garage sale and sell things we don’t need, we can sell our swing set.” “Nooo,” Matthew screamed. He was having a tantrum about all this and he was acting worse than me. I was just sitting here crying while Matthew was kicking and screaming. “You’re getting too big for it,” said Dad. “We can sell our extra furniture under the house,” I said. “We can also not shower everyday anymore unless you’re covered in sweat or dirt and shower every two days now and use plain water to shave and don’t flush the toilets anymore after each use, only flush when you poop in it,” said Dad. “No more having snacks, and you only get three meals a day, no food in between and no seconds, you only get one plate per meal. To save on toilet paper, we will be wiping with washcloths and Natalie won’t be using wipes anymore and she will be using hand towels.” “Alright, this is getting ridiculous,” said Mom standing up. “If you are going to be so cheap acting like we are that poor now, I will just go out and look for a job. I will not be living like this again and as you tell our children, ‘don’t like it, make your own money’ so I am taking your word for it.” “It took you four years to get your first job and how long have they all lasted?” said Dad. “I don’t care, I will just keep trying,” said Mom. “And deal with all the idiots and normies out there who are closed minded.” “If you can find a job, we won’t live so cheaply,” said Dad. “You can just use your money you make on stuff you want like wipes or cable or internet and pay for half the water bill.” “I hope you won’t take away Natalie’s odor pills and make her wear cheap diapers,” said Mom. “That is a necessity, not a luxury and I am not going to make her use the bathroom every half hour or every hour to try and save on diapers because we all know that won’t work. Instead we are going to switch her to cloth for at home.” I was now going to have to be wearing those bulky things and have a bigger butt and I was surprised how absorbent and comfortable they were. “I hope you don’t make us eat road kills and plants,” said Kelly. “No no no, none of that,” said Dad. “Mom will just blow all her money on anything again,” I said still crying. “She will hand me her money then and I will keep it aside and separated,” said Dad. “At least Natalie washes her butt off in the tub when she poops, that saves us lot of wipes,” said Mom. “And I end up showering in her toilet,” said Kelly. “She leaves traces of poo in there.” “I pee in the shower so we shower in my toilet also,” said Mom. “Pee washes down, I pee in there also,” said Kelly. “I also pee in the shower,” said Dad. “I’m sure everyone does.” “I didn’t know continent people peed in showers,” I said. “Now you do,” said Kelly. “Okay so we all shower in toilets,” said Dad. “But no one poops in them but Natalie.” “She can’t control that.” “She can at least do a better job washing it down,” said Kelly. “Is that so much to ask? I don’t need to deal with her traces of poo when I shower because she couldn’t be bothered to wash it all down.” “Natalie, please make sure you have all your poop washed down the drain and make sure there is none left,” Dad told me. “What if it gets stuck on the drain?” I asked. “Then what you do is grab some toilet paper and get it out of the tub and flush it in the toilet,” Dad explained. “Be courteous to your family members. That rule also applies too when you have roommates or live with your boyfriend or have a husband and kids, anyone who uses the tub or shower.” Matthew was still on the floor with his tantrum. Then when he kicked the table, Mom got up and pulled him to the middle of the room and checked the dinner again and sat back down. “Okay so that is everything,” said Dad. “If Mom can get a job, we may not have to live like this but I don’t know how long it will last and how long it will take. Now I am worried about how our house will be so all you kids have to keep it clean also and keep picked up after yourselves. You know the rules. Also if you leave crumbs on the counter, wipe it up. Throw your trash away, not leave it out.” Dinner was done by then and Mom was getting it off the stove. I went back upstairs to my room and the game was still on with the controller still attached to the system. Dad came in my room with the cloth diapers again. “Mum washed these and from now on you will be wearing them, I will get more for you,” said Dad. “How, you can’t even drive,” I said. “I will send her to get you more.” “Where are the plastic pants?” I asked. “Hanging up, I will get them too,” said Dad. He left. I sniffed the cloth diapers and they smelled all fresh with laundry detergent smell. Soon Dad came back and he had something else too besides the plastic pants. “Mum had this the whole time and she never gave it to you until I found it in the kitchen drawer,” he said. He handed me a card and it was my medical alert card. I read it it. “Put it in your wallet,” said Dad. "You don't have to show it to anyone unless you are under these circumstances and you don't have to show it unless you feel you really have to." I got my wallet and stuck it in there. “Oh Natalie,” said Dad. He handed me my bracelet. I looked at it. It had beads on it and on it, it said “Anxiety, learning and processing issues, see my wallet card for more info" on the medal part and on the other side it had my name. I had picked it out when we were ordering it. “Put it on,” said Dad. “Why?” I asked. “Because you’re supposed to have it on all the time.” “But why can’t I wear it in public only?” I asked. “Best to wear it all the time so you don’t forget to put it on. You can have your name facing out if you are that embarrassed so no one can see the other words.” I didn’t even want to wear it all the time. Dad took the bracelet from me and put it on my left wrist. It looked like a normal bracelet with a red star on it. I felt like a mental patient now. “I feel like a mental nutcase now,” I said. “Natalie, anyone can wear one rather it’s it's ashma or parkingson disease or epilepsy, Bells Palasy, ceberal palsy, autism, Tourette's syndrome, Diabetis, anxiety disorder, food allergies, allergic to any types of medicine, heart condition, and there could be someone wearing a medical necklace or bracelet and you wouldn't even know it because you would think it was a normal bracelet or necklace,” said Dad. I felt the bracelet on my arm. “Come down for dinner,” said Dad. I followed after him. Matthew was at the table crying. Kelly was sitting down too in her spot as Mom was putting food on the table. Then Mom checked my diaper again and took me upstairs. “Are you going to tell me about your teacher now so you can get your last chance at watching TV and using the internet before Dad cancels it,” said Mom. “No,” I said. Mom sighed. She changed me and put me in my cloth diaper and handed me my plastic pants. I put them on and put my pants on over them. “Oh, when you change, please rinse out your diaper before bringing it to the laundry room and dumping it in the sink,” said Mom. “Why do I need to rinse it out?” I asked. “To get the pee out so it will clean better in the washing machine and also do not dump it in the hallway, it stunk this morning and I had to pick it up and bring it to the laundry room and soak it before I washed it.” We went downstairs and ate. Skippy was walking around the table begging for food so Dad put him outside. Mittens was sitting on the kitchen floor eating her food. I didn’t l know where my cat was. Matthew was still crying about the change going to happen in our house. I felt even worse because we were going to lose cable and internet and I couldn’t even tell my parents about Mrs. Trunchbull. I ate my soup and then put my bowl in the dishwasher after rinsing it off. I took my odor pill and went back up to my room and wrote in my diary I hadn’t done since June.
15th November 2000
I don’t know why Kelly is so mean to Mom. She is so needy and thinks she doesn’t care about her, she is always mad at her and no matter what she does, it’s never good enough for her. Then she gets mad when Mom quits. She is such a dumb blonde. I would never let my child treat me that way. I would slap her every time she is mean to me or send her to her room every time or punish her every time, why doesn’t Mom do that? Kelly isn’t going to stop unless Mom starts punishing her. Why are normies so cruel to people who are different? Kelly is even mean to me sometimes. She has changed. Mom and Dad need to punish her every time she acts that way so she will stop being a dumb normie and a dumb blonde. ------------ I hate Mrs. Kink. I like to call her Mrs Trunchbull now and everyone else calls her Mrs. Bitch. Ever since she has known my secret, she will tell students if I tell anyone how she teaches her class and treats other kids and me. She broke Lee’s toy, nearly made him fall out of his seat, made fun of him, she wants us all to be zombies, she is always getting mad at me for no reason and always punishing me. She also accuses me of being a smart ass when I am not and she is so stupid. She wouldn’t let me sharpen my pencil and then she got mad at me for not telling her. I did try to tell her but she wouldn’t let me speak. She also won’t answer our questions so I am left to figure out on my own what she means and if I am supposed to be doing something or not. Now I can’t play video games or watch TV or be on the computer and I have been very depressed and my life has been bad ever since. I wished I stayed at my old school if I knew this was going to all happen. I wish I could just die, then this would all end.
That was all I wrote in my diary. I had more to write but all those words had floated out of my brain so this was all I had on my mind to put down on paper. Then I wrote at the end. “She reminds me of my old teacher I had in kindergarten. I really hope she dies.” Then I wrote a new entry.
Dad went to court finally for his drinking and driving and there are going to be lot of changes here. I have to wear cloth now, we have to use towels and rags to wipe ourselves and we can’t shower everyday anymore, there will be no more desserts and snacks, no more cable and internet, no Christmas this year, no more flushing the toilet after each use, we might have to bring cold lunches now to school and Kelly hates it, no more allowance. Matthew hates it, I do too, my life is even worse now all because of Dad and the Trunchbull. Now he can’t drive for real because his license is suspended and he has to pay for court costs and the damage and the fine so he is making all these changes to save money. He also isn’t allowed to drink and he is on probation and he has to take an alcohol class and get counseling. I wonder what is going to happen to him now when he goes without it again? I wonder if I will still get a video game every month.
I closed my diary and put it on my bookshelf. I think I will keep it updated from now on about my new life. I was about to shower but Dad stopped me and told me I had one last night. He sniffed me and told me I smelled fine. “But I sweated in PE today,” I said. “Do a sponge bath,” he said. “We have to save on water now and if you want to shave, do it at the sink. Unless you smell like pee or poo, you can shower but it better be to wash your bottom only.” I started to feel panic and stressed out. This was too much. I tried shaving in the sink but it was not the same and I would easily bleed when I shaved. I also used a rag and got my arm pits wet and I shaved those and there was still hair and it was hard washing the shaving cream off them and having water drip down me and some getting on the counter. I also heard Mom and Dad fighting again in their bedroom. I tried to listen to it trying to see what it was about. I also took my diaper off and shaved down there and I started to bleed. It’s so much easier doing it as I showered. Then I had to go back to my room to get a cloth diaper and put it on replacing my wet one. Matthew was standing out in the hallway. “Why are you standing there?” I asked when I was through changing. “Dad is mad at Mom because she can’t stop peeing her pants and he is tired of buying more diapers and wants her to wear cloth also,” he said. “Money makes him go crazy. He is also telling her to go to the toilet every hour and she is so worried about us finding out but they forget I can hear them when they fight without putting my ear to the door and using a cup to hear what they are saying. They must not want it to be private if they are doing it where I can hear them.” “It’s not their fault you can hear like a dog,” I said. “It’s not my fault they forget,” Matthew said back. “What else are they saying?” I asked. Matthew perked his ear up and then said “Dad just told Mom she got lazy and abandoned her potty schedule and he is saying he is giving her the same treatment as you and maybe cloth will get her to go to the toilet more and she will have less accidents.” Matthew listened some more and then said “Mom just said he has to go every hour too like her and see how he likes it and tell her how it went. Dad is saying they need to save money and cloth will save them tons and Mom is saying it will be more water they are using to wash them and Dad is saying he bets it will still be cheaper than buying diapers.” “Dad really does treat Mom like a child,” I said. “That is because she acts like one,” said Kelly when she was walking in the hallway. “If you act like a child, you will be treated like one and that is what my science teacher does. She treats the whole class like they are in third grade because that is how they are acting. If Mom acts like a kid, Dad will treat her like one.” Kelly went downstairs. Matthew kept on listening and telling me what he heard. “We should just tell her you already know about it and she will just calm down,” I said. “And you,” said Matthew. “I already knew.” “No you didn’t, I just told you.” “Which I didn’t want to think about because it feels too weird,” I said. “How long have you known already?” “Since last month, she told me and told me to not tell anyone else about it.” “I wonder if Kelly knows,” Matthew asked. “Me too,” I said. “We can just tell her and then tell Mom we all know about it and act like it’s all normal like we do for you.” “Yeah,” I said. “You can tell her, I don’t want to break my promise.” Matthew heard some more and then said, “Gee this is getting too weird, I’m done listening to their talk.” “Why?” “Mom just told Dad he has to wear them too with her if he is going to force her,” he said. “I think I am done eavesdropping for a while.” I went to the door to listen but I decided to just to back to my room and be depressed.
That night I had trouble sleeping because I didn’t get my shower and shave properly. I felt all ugly and dirty. I also couldn’t stop thinking how crazy Dad had gone and Mrs. Trunchbull and no more cable and internet. I felt like my life was empty and I felt lost. I was just going to be a tough girl now in the van and in school and somehow try and get rid of Mrs. Trunchbull or try and get away from her.
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Post by Bad Beth on Nov 10, 2013 17:25:58 GMT
Chapter 23 I woke up in a slushy diaper. I realized I had done it in my cloth diaper. I just lied there and it felt uncomfortable. I knew I was going to have to rinse it out and make sure all the poop is down and I didn’t want to bother doing all that. I was also soaking wet inside my plastic pants. I could hear the vent blowing. I also remembered how bad things were going to be all because of Dad and the fight Matthew heard last night. I wondered about Mom finding work and Dad made it sound like she wouldn’t be able to do it. I was hoping she would get one and things stay the same because she would be earning her own money. How do you get a job? Driving around and looking for help wanted signs and go in and apply. Look in new papers for help wanted ads ad go there and apply. I finally turned on my lamp and got out of bed. I grabbed two night time diapers from my closet and headed to the bathroom. I took off my pajamas and my plastic pants and took off the diaper. I dumped it in the tub and rinsed myself off and then the diaper. I also washed my body to get the smell off since poop and pee touched it. I noticed there was a big chunk of poo in the tub now and it wasn’t going down the drain. The diaper was all clean from the poo but it still had marks on it and it was heavier than it was before when I had it on because of all the water. I grabbed some toilet paper and got the poo out of there and dropped it in the toilet. After I got it all out, I had to wash the rest down and get rid of all the traces of poo and use my hands to scrub it off the tub. I found this all disgusting I had to touch my own poo. I like disposables better because I can just dump it in the trash instead of having to dump it out of the diaper and having to deal with it. I also peed while I was cleaning up the tub so I had a bath rug to pick up and toss in the laundry basket and put a new bath rug down. I had to wash my legs again and then I was done. I didn’t know how long it took me. I put the fresh diapers on finally and flushed the toilet and put my pajamas and socks back on and took my diaper to the laundry room and dumped it in the sink with my other cloth diaper. I washed my hands again and went back upstairs to my room. I had trouble sleeping again because I didn’t have a shower and I had to get out of bed and now I was restless. I felt like I was suffering and I hated my new life. Why did Dad have to be so stupid? I just played with Po and swung her in the air hitting her on the wall and bed poles. At least it won’t hurt her because she is a doll. I couldn’t remember falling asleep when Mom walked in and was checking my diaper and saw I had on disposables. Then she left and never came back until it was time to get me up for school. I looked at my clock and saw it was seven o’ two. “You’re taking the van remember,” she said. “Dad wants to save money on gas,” she was sighing. She got me out of bed and laid me on the floor. I was cold so I curled up in a ball and pulled my nightshirt over my legs. Mom picked out some clothes for me and grabbed one of my diapers. Then she pulled on my nightshirt and pulled it off me. Now I was just in my bra and diapers. Mom pulled my legs out and laid me flat on my back. She pulled the tapes off my diapers and cleaned me up and unfolded my clean diaper and set it down. She pulled the used diapers away rolling them up and put the clean one in place and set me back on it and pulled it up between my legs and taped it shut. She did it pretty fast given that she had been doing it for eight years. She slipped my swim suit on me and then pulled my pants on my legs and she then put my shirt on over my head and told me to do the rest since I wasn’t helping her. She left my room. I just lied there with my clothes halfway on. I wet my diaper again before I decided to put the clothes on the rest of the way. I pulled my swim suit up and my pants and put my arms through my sleeves and pulled my shirt down and rested on my bed. I looked at the time again and saw it was seven thirty. I got up and went downstairs. Kelly was already up. She was looking through The Saltwater News and I saw it was dated last week. It has local town news and ads and events including school things or if there will be a parade here or any yard sales or garage sales, any auctions, any raffling, any meetings, help wanted, people wanting to give stuff away or sell and it’s a free paper. “Oh this is from November seventh. No wonder some dates were wrong in this,” said Kelly. It took her that long to notice the paper was that old? I ate my cereal and Kelly tossed the paper aside and finished her food. She put her bowl in the dishwasher and went upstairs. Mom was in the laundry room and I heard her put a load in the washing machine and turning it on. Then I saw her holding a list in her hand Dad wrote her. She just set it on the counter walking away. I looked at it when I was through eating and it was just stuff Dad was telling her to do today like wash diapers, go to the store and buy more cloth diapers using his credit card and only buy the diapers and plastic pants, nothing else. Buy twelve diapers each and several plastic pants. Buy the same kinds he got. He also had other things on there he wanted her to do and had instructions about buying diapers. Thank god he had it in print because I hate cursive and can’t even read it. I looked at my medical bracelet I had on. It was visible for everyone to see. It just looked like a normal bracelet. I went upstairs and brushed my teeth and hair. Kelly was just getting ready to leave. She grabbed her coat and backpack and went downstairs and I heard her leave. There were no fights between her and Mom thank god. I stayed in my room until Mom called me. I had to rush for my stuff, grabbing my backpack, binder, looking for my shoes and of course trying to find the recorder again but it was still missing. I would try and look for it when I get home. Mom kept calling my name and then she said I couldn’t miss my ride because Dad wouldn’t be happy about it. I felt stressed out again and knew I was stuck with the Trunchbull. I found my other shoes and put them on and ran out the front door with Mom saying bye to me. She never even said bye to Kelly when she left. I got in and sat down. They were playing the same album again from yesterday. I was quiet on the rest of the way there thinking about Mrs. Trunchbull. Maybe if I am really really bad in there, she might kick me out of her class. Maybe if I get isolation with other students, I will be away from her but what was isolation? I was afraid to find out. I will ask someone what it is and see if they know. I always loved it when I was out in the hallway because at least it kept me away from her and I didn’t have to be all under stress to be a zombie even if I hated being punished for no reason. It was better to be out there than in be class. Being in the quiet room was better than being in class. Why didn’t I still have a teacher with me to make sure I wouldn’t cut? I felt lied to. I hate being lied to. When we got to school, I put my backpack in my locker and my coat and I wondered what I was going to do. I went to class and asked the kids in there if they know what isolation is. “It’s where you go in a class with other students and do your work in there all day long or lie your head down,” said Janelle. “What’s it like?” I asked. “Is it boring?” “Very boring,” she said. “If you need help with any school work, you’re screwed because you get no help in there and you get behind and then have to do catch up and you can’t do any school activities here and they don’t allow any other books or toys or electronics or head phones or anything and you have to stay in your seat all day long unless it’s to use the bathroom and you can only go when they say you can go so you better go when it’s time to go.” I wondered if I would be allowed to change my diaper any time in there or just change when everyone goes to the bathroom. “How long does it last?” I asked. “It depends, it can be a day, few hours, two days. It all depends.” “How many times do they let you go potty?” I asked. “I think four times a day.” Now that I knew what isolation was, I wondered if I should go for that class, at least I wouldn’t be with Mrs. Trunchbull. How long would she keep me there for? I didn’t want to get behind on my work. “Has Mrs. Bitch ever sent anyone to isolation?” I shouted. “She sent me there once because she thought I sneezed and it was my neighbor that did,” said Patsy. “Didn’t you tell her it wasn’t you?” I asked. “She wouldn’t listen.” “Didn’t your neighbor say it was him?” I asked. She smirked. “Dude, no one wants to get in trouble by her so they let someone else take the blame or get in trouble for something they did and you were brave for taking the blame yesterday when someone farted. When you are in here, you have to hope you don’t get in trouble and if you do something wrong and get caught, you have to hope someone else gets the blame, not you. Got it?” “Yes,” I said. “Good. I still can’t believe you haven’t had this all figured out already.” “Figured what out?” I asked. “Hello anyone in there?” Eddie knocked on my head. “You never mess with her and you keep on doing it and have gotten into trouble by her already and you still keep at it, especially yesterday.” “What did I do?” I asked. “You keep doing things she doesn’t like and getting into trouble. No one does that but you. I have to say you are crazy for what you are willing to risk, pretty soon she might get so fed up she will complain to the principal and tell her you will be better off somewhere else.” “Say that again?” I asked. “She will tell the principal you will be better off somewhere else if you keep this up,” said Eddie again. This was perfect. If I act up and keep on being myself but do it even more, she will want me in another class and no more Mrs. Bitch. “So why doesn’t anyone else just break her rules to get out of this class?” I asked. Eddie slapped himself in the head. “Because you don’t want to get in trouble by her and no one wants to get punished and be in deeper trouble at home and who knows where she sends kids. We know one of them is juvi hall.” “I am already in trouble at home,” I said. “What else can they do? I already lost video games and TV and computer and now no more dessert and snacks, what else is there to take from me?” “No friends,” said Eddie. “I don’t have any.” “No phone.” “I don’t use the phone.” “No dinner.” “They’re not going to take it from me.” “Not allowed to leave the yard.” “It’s not my favorite and I wouldn’t mind a few days of not being allowed to leave the yard.” “No going outside.” “I hate the outdoors.” “No music.” “So. I don’t listen to it a lot except James Bond.” “Maybe they won’t let you ever get a license.” “My parents say I can’t drive until I am sixteen,” I said. “No allowance.” “I already lost it and now no one gets it.” “No guys.” “I don’t have any.” “Be in your room for the rest of the time and not allowed out.” “Already getting it.” “Jesus and you still keep this going, wow,” said Eddie. I didn’t know what he was talking about I was keeping this going. It’s not my fault I can’t get along with the teacher and she keeps picking on me for no reason. Now I really am going to break her rules and not listen to her just to get kicked out of this class even if it means getting all these punishments. I have to be strong. Then the bell rang and I didn’t get in my seat, I just walked around the room. “C’mon sit down,” said Kenny. “I want to get in trouble,” I said. “I want to get kicked out of this class and no more her.” “Ooooo,” said the kids. Then Mrs. Trunchbull came in the room. “What are you doing out of your seat Natalia,” Mrs. Trunchbull yelled. “Walking,” I said. “Sit down and I better see you in your seat tomorrow or else.” I sat down. I tapped my feet and rocked in my seat. I didn’t even try and hide it. Kids were giggling. I noticed Mrs. Bitch had a cast around her wrist and it wasn’t a big one. It went around her hand too. “What happened to your hand?” Janelle asked. “I sprained it,” she said. “How did it happen?” I asked. “A student did it.” “Which one?” I asked. “Someone in this class.” “Lee?” “Yes him.” I noticed he was not in the class. “What happened to him?” I asked. “He went way,” she said. “Where?” “Just away.” “Why?” “You hurt someone, you may never see your face in this school ever.” “Where did he go?’ “Just away.” “Is it juvenile hall?” I asked. But she wouldn’t answer me so I kept on asking until she answered and kids were laughing. “Enough,” she yelled at me. “Enough what?” I said. “Stop asking, none of your concern, I hope this will be a lesson to all you students in this class about when you hurt someone.” Mrs. Trunchbull saw me moving in my seat. She slammed her yard stick on my desk. “Sit still,” she yelled. She took her attendance and set it by the door and turned on the overhead. I copied down my work tapping my feet still and rocking in my seat. Mrs. Trunchbull slapped my desk again with the stick. “I say sit still,” she shouted. It made me jump and if that was all she had for me, I was keeping this up even if it means getting sent out in the hall again. I kept on copying down my work and did the corrections. Then something grabbed me and it startled me so I screamed and moved my arms up and got someone in the face with my fist whoever got me. It was Mrs. Trunchbull and she held her nose. I saw a little bit of blood. I noticed a drop on my hand. Kids were staring at us. I just stood there looking at her. She was shorted than me, shorter than my mother too. She was also wiping off her glasses with a Kleenex and putting them back on and looking at her hand and me. I didn’t even apologize. “To the office,” she said. Kids gasped. She grabbed my shirt and pulled me out of the room. “You better keep your mouth shut about all this or your secret is being spilled,” she threatened. She didn’t say anything more because we were in the hallway. She still had a hold of my arm this time. When we got to the office Mrs. Peggy was on the phone. Mrs. Trunchbull made me wait outside with her. But Mrs. Peggy never got off, she kept on talking and talking. Then finally Mrs. Trunchbull took me back to her class and told me I lucked out the principal was too busy so we will try again. She made me stand in the hall. This was nothing now. I decided to just pound my head on the locker and kick them and walk around the area in front of her door and stomping my feet and walking into lockers. I had to be so out of control she wouldn’t want me in her class anymore. She would want to get rid of me because none of her punishments would work. Mrs. Trunchbull checked on me again and scolded me to stand still and this wasn’t a playground. “I’m bored,” I said. “You should have thought of that before you misbehaved,” she said. Then she walked back into class. I went back to what I was doing again. I was hoping she would come back out. I noticed another teacher walking. “What are you doing out of class?” he asked. “I’m in trouble so I am standing out here?” “Can she do that, is that even in your IEP?” “I don’t know,” I said. “I think I will talk to her during lunch and then tell the principal,” he said. He took a step away and then he said “Wait, is this is Mrs. Pennysworth’s room?” “Yeah,” I said. “Oh no,” he cried. “What?” I asked. “I had been complaining about Mrs. Kink for months and the principal is too busy and overwhelmed with her job she can’t even take notice with her,” he said. “Who are you?” I asked. “I am Nathanael Brooks, the head of the special ed department.” “What do you know about her?” I asked. “Ever since she has been teaching here, some of my students have been acting different when they had her and the rest who didn’t have her still acted fine. I have seen some strange things going on around here and I have kept reporting my suspicion to the principal and then to the school board and I was this close, this close,” he showed his fingers being an inch apart from each other. “Then one day she told me if I kept “harassing” her, she would ruin my career and that was the end of it, she is still teaching here and I can do nothing about it. I have to keep my mouth shut,” he said. “She got you too,” I said. “Who knows who else she has blackmailed, she is dangerous,” said Mr. Brooks. “Maybe she got the principal too, who knows.” “When did this all happen?” “Last year.” “I wonder how we get rid of her?” I asked. “I don’t know. It would take one brave person, someone who is willing to sacrifice their career and their reputation.” “I wonder if a kid can do it,” I asked. “I don’t know, hard to say. I have heard rumors and it never works out well,” he said. “What rumors?” “Every time a kid tries to get out of her class, the kid is always gone. No longer at this school.” I remembered I accidentally punched Mrs. Truncbull in the nose, I hope I wouldn’t be in serious trouble and get locked away for it. I wondered if I would be out of this school if I kept this up. “This is bad,” I said. “If I would have known this place would be terrible, I would have stayed at my old school.” “No this is a good school, she is the bad one,” said Mr. Brooks. “Ever since she has been here, I have noticed more behavior problems in students who had her and even other teachers have noticed their students aren’t doing as well and they are acting out more or having more problems learning or being more difficult.” “Don’t they ever see a pattern and say anything about it?” I asked. “I don’t know,” he said. “I’m sorry kid. I wish I knew what to do, if I were near my retirement or at my retirement age, I would have kept at it because I would have been retiring anyway so it wouldn’t have mattered, I just have to wait another thirty more years unless someone else can be brave and know how to take her down.” Then he told me he had to get going. He walked away. Wow, even a teacher had been threatened by her. She really was evil. Should I keep trying to get out of her class or give up and deal with her and try and not get in any more trouble? I wondered if he was still going to talk to her and complain to the principal but after what he said, I suspected he wouldn’t now. I couldn’t blame him for lying. Then the bell rang and kids came out. I walked back in the classroom and Mrs. Trunchbull made me go to the office with her again. This time Mrs. Peggy was off the phone. “Yes?” she said. “We had a problem in class,” said Mrs. Trunchbull. “She socked me in the nose and made it bleed. I stopped here earlier but you were on the phone so I went back and came back.” Mrs. Peggy looked at me. “Why did you do that?” Mrs. Trunchbull looked at me frowning. I was speechless, I was told to keep my mouth shut or she tells. Instead I just shrugged. “We do not tolerate violence. If you can’t tell me what happened, I won’t know about the situation and can’t do my job. I also need to talk to you,” Mrs. Peggy told Mrs. Trunchball. They walked into a room together and Mrs. Peggy told me to wait. I wondered what she was going to tell her about. I waited and waited and then the bell rang. Then they came back out and Mrs. Trunchbull had an evil look on her face when she was looking at me. Mrs. Peggy called me into the room and talked to me. “Your mother called me and she told me about the incident you told her about yesterday. She told me you said you were hoping more students would hurt her so she will be nice to everyone, can you shed some light on that?” I had said too much, my secret was about to be spilled soon. I just didn’t answer. “Natalie, if you don’t tell me, I am not going to be able to make this better. I didn’t know either what you meant by she will be nicer to everyone when your mother asked to see what that was about.” “Why not just put a hidden camera in her room,” I said. “Why would we do that?” “To see how she teaches and treats her students,” I said. “Natalie, we have had other teachers in there with a student and if she was doing something wrong, they would have told me,” said Mrs. Peggy. “Maybe she just puts on an act whenever someone else is around or maybe she threatens them,” I said. “There needs to be a camera or a hidden microphone to watch how she teaches. Some people are evil.” “So why did you punch your teacher?” “It was an accident,” I said. “Accident?” “Yes.” “How do you punch someone on accident?” “You could be stretching and you lift your arms up like this,” I raised my arms in the air and had my hands in fists. “Someone might be behind you and you don’t even know it and you get them in the nose or you try and punch someone else but that person ducks and you end up punching another person who was right there, or you could be trying to get something out of a bag and you pull your hand out and bam you accidently hit someone in the face.” “So are you saying you were stretching your arms and she walked by you and you accidentally got her in the nose?” Mrs. Peggy asked. “Yes,” I said. I showed her the dried blood on my knuckle. “I see and she thought you did it intentionally. Very interesting. It looks like this was all a misunderstanding and no one is perfect, we all make mistakes and sometimes we misread another person’s intention. We might think something was on purpose when it was an accident. Is this what you meant by she is mean to other kids, misunderstanding happen and she thinks it’s intentional?” “Uh yeah,” I said. “Okay, I don’t think wishing harm on her is going to solve the problem though.” “Where’s Lee?” I asked. “He is not in school today, he was marked absent,” said Mrs. Peggy. “But why? Is he sick? Did he get kicked out of this school or went to jail?” “I do not know,” she said. “He is absent.” I found it weird she didn’t know where he was. I thought principals would know those things but I guess not. “Mrs. Kink also had a similar story too, she said she walked up to you and you got her in the face,” said Mrs. Peggy. “You didn’t even apologize.” “It was an accident,” I said again. “Well even if it was an accident, you should still apologize. You do understand why you should apologize?” “Because it’s what she wants,” I said. “No it’s because it’s a polite thing to do and it lets her know you feel bad for what you did. It’s also to knowledge you understand how you made her feel and put her through when you did it even though it was an accident. This is what we are trying to teach our students here.” I was surprised Mrs. Trunchbull would lie to the principal about how I punched her. Why didn’t she say she grabbed me to keep me from moving in my seat? “Has she threatened you yet?” I asked. “Pardon?” Mrs. Peggy asked. “Has Kink threatened you?” “Why do you ask?” “Another teacher told me she threatened him because he wouldn’t stop complaining about her to you and to the school board and he said you’re too busy to take notice.” “Who told you that?” “Mr. Brooks,” I said. “I see.” “Has she threatened you?” “Certainly not and I will get to the bottom of this. You still owe her an apology and I would like to hear it done.” “How can you not know where your students are when they are absent?” I asked. “I thought principals knew these things.” “It’s not my concern,” she said again. “Why?” “Because it isn’t.” “Why?” I asked again. “Because it’s no one’s business,” she said. “Why? You’re the principal, why isn’t it your business?” “No, it’s not your business, I know where he is but I am not to tell you any information about other students.” “Why?” “It’s confidential.” “Why?” “Because they have a right to their privacy unless the parent can say I can share that information.” This was so weird. I had never been to a school where things were kept this private about other kids. At my old school I would have been told if he went to jail or got suspended or something but why do they keep things to private here? “You’re excused to go to class now,” said Mrs. Peggy. I got up and Mrs. Peggy wrote me a note to excuse my tardiness. I took my stuff and headed to class. This felt like the worst school ever because of Mrs. Trunchbull. She was making the whole school bad. She had to be stopped but how? I headed to math and handed Mrs. Zeller the note. She read it and told me to sit. I grabbed a math book and sat down.
After class, she kept me after again to talk to me. “How does after school sound?” she asked. “I don’t know what my parents would think,” I said. “My dad wants to save on gas.” “I can call them and discuss it with them,” she said. “Okay,” I said. “Education is very important and we don’t want anyone to get behind,” she said. “Who is going to be my tutor?” I asked. “He volunteered and he is good at Math and he doesn’t need help in it so he excels and he is the same age as you,” said Mrs. Zeller. “Same grade?” I asked. “Same grade. I am sure you have met him.” “Who is he?” “Jason Larson.” I was shocked. “Does he know who he is going to be helping?” I asked. “Sure does.” “And he never told me,” I said. ‘How come you told him but not me until now?” “You never asked and he did. I will call your parents on the phone, are they home or at work?” “Mom doesn’t work, Dad does,” I said. “Okay I will call her.” She excused me and I went to my next class.
“You didn’t tell me you were going to be my math tutor,” I said to Jason when I got to class. “I wanted it to be a surprise,” he said. “Why?” I asked. “I just did. Do you like surprises?” “It depends what they are.” “What kind of surprises do you like?” “If I came home and saw a new game on my bed, I would love it,” I said. “Me too,” said Jason. “Why do you keep delaying it?” “Delaying what?” “Me helping you catch up in math.” “I am in trouble with Mrs. B,” I said. “I hear you keep pushing it and other kids are saying how brave you are and crazy.” “What do they mean?” I asked. “They say you keep clowning around in class and being funny and making her all mad and keep doing silly things to try and get away with it and no matter how many times you have already gotten into trouble, you keep at it.” “I’m not doing it on purpose,” I said. “I don’t know what they are talking about. She is evil. Now I am doing it on purpose so I can get out of her class. I will be so out of control she will want me out of there.” “What are you going to do?” “Be myself but worse. Have you ever heard of any students trying to get out of her class?” “No,” said Jason. “But I do know kids with Asperger’s never survived that class.” “Why?” “They can’t follow her norm and her standards she has for them,” he said. “Even I didn’t survive it and I was lucky my mom got me out of there and now school is good.” “Where do they all go when they had her?” I asked. “Taken out of school, moved to other classes.” “So kids have gotten out of there successfully, everyone else is saying no one can get out of there.” “They have gotten out of there unintentionally,” said Jason. “So why is she still here if parents keep taking their kids out of there?” I asked. “I don’t know. I don’t care either because she isn’t my teacher anymore.” “Maybe she has threatened the parents too,” I said. “Has she ever threatened you?” “No.” “Why?” “I had a body guard.” “How did you get one?” “Mrs. Zolt.” “Oh, your teacher,” I said. Then the bell started to ring. I sat down in my seat.
I got my hot lunch during lunch. I saw how much I had left and pretty soon I would have to bring a sack lunch to school when I run out. I felt some food get thrown at me and I moved to another table. I could never figure out who was doing it. After was finished, I remembered to take my odor pills in my locker. I decided I should leave some here at school so I wouldn’t keep my bottle with me. It would be in case I forgot to bring them, then I would have back up. I put five pills on the top shelf in my locker in the back so they wouldn’t go missing. “Hey what are you taking?” Allie asked when she was walking in the hallway. I gestured for her to come near me so I would tell her. She walked up to me and I said quietly, “It’s my odor remover pills so that way when I slush myself, it won’t smell and no one would know I did it. I hope they are working, Jason smelled me the other day when I farted and I had some poop in there. They turn my poop a different color.” “What color?” “Light yellow.” “Ew,” said Allie. I was supposed to go to Mrs. Trunchbull’s classroom but I was distracted by Allie. “Is this a good school?” I asked. “Are you kidding, this is great, small classrooms, less distractions, the teachers here are great and it’s better than mainstream. Isn’t it great for you?” “Except for Mrs. Bitch, the Trunchbull,” I said. “What is she doing?” “I can’t tell you, it’s just bad.” “Why can’t you tell your mom or the principal?” “Because I will get in trouble by her.” “How?” “For telling.” “I wonder why everyone keeps it a secret what she does,” said Allie. “Because they are afraid of her, she probably threatens them all and she threatened one of the teachers and maybe others too.” “How do you know?” “One of them told me.” “Wow. What did she tell her?” “It was a he,” I said. “She told him if he kept complaining about her, she will ruin his career.” “Can she do that?” Allie asked. “She’s dangerous,” I said. “How is she going to ruin his career?” “I don’t know.” “I hope I never get her as a teacher.” “I hope so too,” I said. “She must be stopped,” said Allie. “How is anyone going to stop her?” I said. “This feels like Matilda. She is new to her school and she has to deal with a mean principal. I am new here and I have to deal with a mean teacher even though she isn’t as bad as the Trunchbull but there is no way I can get rid of her like Matailda did with Miss Trunchbull. Too bad I don’t have super powers like her.” “Maybe there is another way and you don’t need super powers,” said Allie. “What do you mean?” I asked. “I don’t know. I mean I am sure you guys can think of something to get rid of her, find a way to show who she really is, find a way to get parents to believe you and the principal.” “And how am I going to do that? Put a hidden camera in the room? I don’t even know how to do that.” “I don’t know either. I am glad I am not in her class.” Then Allie walked away. I knew I just needed the recorder and I had to look for it when I get home but I think a camera would be easier but I don’t know how to do that. I closed my locker and went to Mrs. Trunchbull’s class. “There you are,” she said. “You took longer this time.” I walked over to the board. “What’s this?” I looked at her to see what she was asking about and she yanked my left arm and held it up. She touched my bracelet. She looked at it and read what was on it. “So your mom and dad got you one of those bracelets eh?” she said. “Can’t stay out of trouble I see. You also can’t keep our mouth shut. The principal talked to me and she told me how you told your mother how Lee hurt me and you were wishing more pain on me so I will be “nicer” to students. Don’t you say anything about me. You almost let it out. I would hate to spill your secret out and have everyone know about your problem if you told. Also you are a very good liar; you convinced the principal you hitting me was an accident.” “It was,” I said. “Was it? You raised your arms up and got me in the face, how is that not an accident?” “You scared me and I had no control over what I did,” I said. “It happens automatically when someone grabs me unexpectedly when I am not looking and you were rough.” “Uh uh uh,” she said. “I don’t buy it.” “So why did you lie to her too instead of telling her you grabbed me?” I asked. “Then she would want to know why I grabbed you. You’re one of the worst students I have had, you just keep it going and never learn your lesson and you also can’t keep your mouth shut. You keep getting into trouble.” “Why are you here?” I asked. “To teach you all to act normal and get ready for the real world,” she said. “Now get to the board and write.” I picked up the marker and started to write ‘I will not be a smart ass in class and blow wind.” “You forgot something,” said Mrs. Trunchbull. “This is all I remember,” I said. “You will not talk back in class.” “I’m not, I am just-“ “That is the line you forgot.” I wrote ‘I will not talk back in class and be a smart ass and blow wind.’ I kept on repeating it using the eraser. “Time to work on writing in a straight line without any assistance,” she said. “Huh?” I asked. “Put down the eraser and write.” I put it down and started to write and I tried really hard to write in a straight line. I put each letter next to the other letter to make it straight. I went slower. “Faster,” said Mrs. Trunchbull. “I can’t or I won’t write in a straight line,” I said. “Faster, you write so slow no wonder you couldn’t keep up in your old school. You write so slow no wonder you had a hard time keeping up.” Oh my god, she was now taunting me like she did with Lee. How did she know about my old troubles at my old school? It’s not that I wrote slow, things just went too fast for me sometimes. I decided to write slower just to give her a hard time. I slowed down and wrote very slowly. “Don’t slow down, go fast,” she said. “Faster faster faster. No wonder you failed at your other school. You write so slow just to write in a straight line.” She was making me mad so I decided to write very fast and not care how sloppy my handwriting looked so I wrote very fast like Sonic. “Hey, erase that now and do it over,” she yelled. I kept on writing fast and it was all scribbles. Then she got out of her chair and tried to grab the marker from me but I pulled it away and she tried grabbing it from me. Then finally the marker hit her in the face and she had a line drawn on her face. “Give me that,” she said. “No,” I said. “This isn’t a game, give it to me.” I ran away from her. “I will make you come in here the whole week if you don’t stop this,” she said. “Okay,” I said not caring about the punishment. Hey it was just writing on the board and I was going to be tutored after school. Once she sees her punishments are ineffective on me, she will have to stop bothering me. I was being strong. She kept ordering me to write on the board again and erase it and start over. “You told me to write faster,” I said. “I want you to write neatly, not be lazy,” she said. “Well if you make fun of me, I will give you a hard time about it,” I said. “Don’t mess with me.” “I will break you,” she said. “You will go to jail,” I said. I still had the marker in my hand. “Get to the board,” she ordered. I went to the board and erased the bad writing I did but she told me to erase all of it. I did and she started taunting me again about writing slow. I wrote slower again just to make her mad. “You are staying in here all next week for lunch,” she said. “Okay,” I said. “I’m serious.” “I know,” I said. “I’m very serious, are you going to keep testing me?” “Maybe,” I said as I wrote. “What is the matter with you?” she asked. “What’s the matter with me? I have scared off some baby sitters, been kicked out of day care and gymnastics, banned from homes, gotten in troubles with teachers and I still kept at it,” I said. “Still wanna mess with me?” Her mouth dropped open. I got back to writing feeling like I had won. I noticed she didn’t taunt me again and I kept on writing and doing it in a straight line from going slow. Then the bell rang. I put the marker down. “See ya tomorrow,” I waved as I walked out. I walked off proudly to proud feeling like I had defeated her. I wonder if she will still mess with me. She had made me so mad I acted this way and it worked. I always feel the urge to make people mad and give them a hard time when they treat me bad and sometimes I don’t even care about punishments. I went to PE and told Jason what I did. “I hope you didn’t make it worse,” he said. “What do you mean?” “I have no idea, she is evil and everyone is too afraid to mess with her and when Jonathon thought he could fight her, he hasn’t been back since.” “I am not going to give her black eyes or bruises or break her,” I said. “I will just do the opposite what she wants and make things worse for her and she got really mad in her class when I gave her a hard time when she made fun of me. I also have to see her all next week,” I said. “There is no school for three days next week,” he said. “Why not?” I asked. “It’s Thanksgiving.” “So I only have to see her for two days next week,” I said. “At least it will give me a break from her.”
The rest of the day went smoothly for me and I felt proud of myself all day and decided I could keep this up. What could go wrong? I earned some group bucks in group therapy and saw a prize I liked so I decided to save up for it and hope another student doesn’t get it. Teachers even commented I seemed to be in a very good mood today and doing so well. I couldn’t really tell them. I just said I was happy. But kids seemed worried about what I did when I told them. They didn’t seem impressed what I did. They just said I was foolish and I was going to regret it. I think they were just jealous I was strong and they are weak.
After school got out, I saw Allie again. I told her what I did. “Awesome,” she said. “But kids don’t seem impressed,” I said. “I bet they are just jealous I was strong and they were weak.” “You’re going to get your butt kicked blondie,” said one of the kids from my classes. “See,” I said. “So what else are you going to do to her?” Allie asked. “I don’t know,” I said. “I just don’t want her punishments to work on me anymore and do you know what kids would think if they found out I wear diapers, would they make fun of me here like they did a my old one?” “I doubt teachers would let them,” said Allie. “If you ignore them, they will stop. Always ignore the teasing.” “Yeah she will tell everyone I wear them.” “Who?” “Mrs. Bitch.” “Seriously. Isn’t that illegal? Can teachers do that?” “I didn’t even know it was illegal,” I said. “My mom told me teachers are required to keep information about students personal. It’s the law. If she does that, she can get fired.” “Wow,” I said. “So that means if she wants to tell everyone, she might lose her job. How stupid of her. She must be blonde.” “Or it was just a threat to get you to be her puppet,” said Allie. “What does that mean?” “It means do what she wants, be under her control, she could control you but now that I have told you teachers can’t share personal information on students like that, she has to find something better.” “Yeah but what?” I said. “I don’t know.” Then she had to go to her van. “Thanks for telling me she can’t do that and now I can tell my parents and get my privileges back,” I said. I went to mine. It was a good thing I let it slip out or else I wouldn’t have known Mrs. Trunchbull can’t tell my secret or she will get fired. I felt happy on the way home. They played the same music from yesterday again and Gary called me an Ass Burger again for singing a song too loud. I just called him one right back. I wasn’t going to let some word get to me. At least he wasn’t calling me a retard or retarded. I wonder if Ass Burger is his word for retarded. “It must be your word for retarded,” I told Gary. “Do you also say “That’s Ass Burger?” He didn’t answer. Kids laughed in the back. When I got dropped off, I skipped in my lawn to the front door. I went inside and took my shoes off and put them in the closet and hung my coat up. I went in the den and looked for the recorder. I looked in each drawer and shelves and looked on the desk in the room where the computer was and in drawers. I looked everywhere. There was no sign of the recorder. I just went upstairs and found Matthew playing in his room. “Have you seen my old recorder?” I asked. “No,” he said. “When did you last see it?” I asked. “I don’t know.” “Where was it last when you saw it?” I asked. “I don’t know.” I left and went in Kelly’s room. I knocked. “Yeah?” I opened the door. Kelly was sitting on her bed reading a book. Her room did look a lot different without me in here and my old spot where I slept still had no mattress. It also looked bigger too. “Have you seen my old recorder?” I asked. “No,” she said. “When did you last see it?” “No idea. It’s been awhile since I last saw it.” I left her room and Mom caught me in the hallway. “Let me check your diaper sweetheart,” she said. She took me to my room and checked me. “You’re fine, you can stay in this diaper until it needs to be changed and then we’ll put cloth on you.” “Mom, have you seen my old recorder?” I asked. “No, why?” “I want to use it for school.” “Why?” “Just to record teachers like I used to,” I said. “You want to go back to that again?” “Yes,” I said. “No I haven’t seen it. I can’t remember the last time I saw it.” “I left it in the den so I thought you maybe saw it there and moved it,” I said. “No, I never saw it there.” Mom walked out of my room. “Mom?” I said again. She stopped walking away. “What?” she asked without looking at me. “Can a teacher really tell other kids things about a student?” I asked. “What do you mean?” “Like can a teacher tell everyone I wear diapers?” “Not without your permission.” “Okay. Good.” Mom walked away again. I felt happy with myself. I opened my diary again and wrote in it. 16th November 2000
I am bad now. She can’t control me anymore. I just found out she can’t spill my secret or she will get fired. It’s the law. Teachers have to keep stuff private about their students. I wonder if her true hair color is blonde. I decided to be myself and act worse and no punishment is going to work with me. This will get me out of her class when she can’t control me and she will get so tired of me, she will want me out of there. Then I had to go in for lunch to write on the board again and she made fun of me for writing slow so I wrote slower and she didn’t like it and kept telling me to write faster so I wrote very fast making scribbles with words and she hated it. Then she chased me around the room and she decided to make me come in all next week for two days to write on the board and I can handle that. She also dropped her mouth open when I told her I got kicked out of daycare and gymnastics and been banned from homes and I lied about scaring off baby sitters. I was hoping that will scare her who she is messing with and I think it worked. But kids didn’t seem so impressed what I did but I think they were just jealous I was strong and they’re weak. I will just keep doing the opposite and doing things to give her a hard time and not let her punishments work on me. Then she will leave me alone. I feel so proud and I am not so helpless and weak after all. But I still haven’t told Mom yet about her. I will tell her when I want to play video games or be on the computer or want to watch TV. I closed the diary and went in Matthew’s room. “Hey, you can tell Mom what I told you about my teacher, I don’t care anymore.” “Why? So you can be mean to Chris again?” Matthew asked. “You can’t take my games to school unless you’re going to be nice to him.” “I thought you changed your deal,” I said. “I am changing it back if you want me to tell Mom. You’re not going to be mean to him and I will make sure of that.” “Well that’s not what it’s about,” I said. “Then what is your agenda?” he asked. “I want to get out of her class so I am going to be myself and act worse so she will not want me in her class anymore and I wouldn’t have to deal with her. I won’t let any of her punishments work with me and I found out she can’t tell anyone my secret without my permission so if she does that, she is in trouble.” “You watch kid shows, that isn’t even embarrassing.” “Well I lied, she actually wanted to tell everyone about my diapers and she knew I wanted to keep it a secret and not have anyone know so she used it against me. “If you lied, then what other things have you lied about?” he asked. “I told my teacher I scared off some babysitters just to make me look good so she will not want to mess with me.” “I can’t even trust you if you lied,” Matthew said. “Why?” I asked. “How do I know you’re not lying about anything else?” “I just told you.” “But how do I know you’re not lying?” “Because I’m not.” “I don’t know that.” “Stop acting like a dumb blonde,” I said. “If you lie, people won’t trust you. You’re a dumb blonde for lying.” “Natalie,” Mom called again. She saw me in Matthew’s room. “There you are. You’re supposed to be in your room.” “I know, I had to talk to him,” I said. “Your math teacher called and she told me you are a little behind and she wanted you to stay after school and be tutored to catch up,” said Mom. “I know,” I said. “Well, how does tomorrow sound?” “Great,” I said. “Do you mean good great or a bad great?” Mom asked. “Good great,” I said. “Okay so that is a yes then.” Mom left and I went back to my room and wrote in my diary some more. I got behind in Math because of Mrs. Trunchbull so I am going to catch up now with a tutor and it’s Jason. He is a cute blonde boy who is a little chubby and he likes video games like I do and he does game exchange with me every week but I don’t have my Game Boy until I tell my mother about her to get it back so I can pick out one of his games next week. He is about my height but he does weigh more since he is a guy and guys always weigh more than women even if they are thin. I closed the diary again. I left my room and went downstairs. Mom was in the kitchen and she had some food out and was ripping open a pack. I saw her take some meat out and put them in a pan on the stove. “What are you making?” I asked. “Ribs, it’s what your father requested,” she replied. I watched her put some more in. “Are you going to tell me about your teacher?” she asked. “Yeah,” I said. I started to tell her how my teacher likes to pick on me and she took away The Giver and gave me a harder book to read so I would struggle in class and she also told all of us to not get out of our seats so I slid my chair to sharpen my pencil and she got mad at me about it and punished me. I also told her how my pencil led broke and she wouldn’t let me tell her it broke and I need to get out of my seat to sharpen it and she wouldn’t let me speak and then she got mad at me for not writing and then another kid said mine was broken and she got mad at me for not telling her, she is so stupid. I also told her how she treated Lee and he was the one who twisted her wrist and I was there when I saw it happen except for the wrist incident and today she decided to make fun of me for writing slow and she wanted me to write in a straight line and wouldn’t let me use the eraser to help me write straight and she made me so mad I did the opposite and I accidentally punched her in class when she grabbed me because she wants me to be a zombie. I also told her what kids told me about a kid named Jonathon and how he was set up by her and how Lee was not in school today after what happened yesterday. I also told her how another teacher had complained about her for months and how different his students would act when they had her and even other teachers had noticed how different their students were acting and Mrs. Peggy is too busy to even notice and Mrs. Trunchbull threated the teacher she would ruin his career if he kept complaining about her and she also threatened to tell everyone I wear diapers if I told anyone about how she teaches her class and then I find out she can’t do that or else she gets fired because she doesn’t have my permission to tell anyone. Mom seemed outraged about the whole story and wondered what kind of school lets a teacher into special education and how can anyone let her get away with it. I told her she threatens people and they are too afraid to say anything and the fact students have disappeared after trying to get out of her class. “I bet she took the job just to bully students,” said Mom. “I am glad you finally came forward and told me. I am going to talk to your principal about it tomorrow and complain about her and if she can’t get rid of her, we are taking you out of that class.” “Or school,” I said. “Then where else would we put you?” Mom asked. “My old school,” I said. “I wonder if parents had taken their kids out of that school because of her, that would explain why they would disappear.” I went into the family room and grabbed the Nintendo 64 and unplugged it since Mom had the TV on and I took it into the den where the VCR still was and hooked it in there. I played Blast Corps first and it was just a self-destruction game and then I played GoldenEye again. After three days of torture, I was glad to have my games, computer, and TV privileges back and no longer trapped in my room. Mom came in and checked my diaper while I was playing. It was wetter but she left it be since it hadn’t been four hours yet.
The ribs were done by the time Dad called for Mom to come pick him up so we all had to wait on her while she got Dad. Kelly complained how we all had to wait on Dad to get home before we could all eat and we used to eat earlier. “Your father got in trouble for drinking so we all have to suffer,” said Mom. “Why not just eat without him and have him eat alone when he gets home?” Kelly asked. “He wants a family meal.” “Now that we can’t have a snack, I am going to be starving before we eat. Why can’t he just suffer with it himself and eat without us?” “Complain to him about it, not me,” said Mom. “He made the rule.” When they got home, we all sat at the table but we had to wait on Matthew and Mom getting him. “You better change Natalie so you won’t hold us up,” said Kelly. “She’s right, you better do it,” said Dad. “You don’t want to hold your whole family up from eating.” I got out of my chair and went upstairs. I still saw Matthew playing in his room with his favorite toys and Mom waiting on him using a timer. I went in my room and changed and came back down. Mom and Matthew came down too not too long later. “Finally,” said Kelly. Mom also decided to check me. “Mom she just changed, she doesn’t need to be checked,” Kelly complained. “Dad’s rule is always check her before dinner,” said Mom. “She changed Anita, you don’t need to check her it’s okay,” said Dad. But Mom pulled my pants down to check me anyway. “Where is your cloth diaper?” Dad asked. “I forgot,” I said. “Natalie. Great, diaper wasted. We have to save money now, if you are going to keep forgetting, then maybe we should keep them all in our room and only give them to you for school.” “If it’s still dry, she can still take it off and put on a cloth one,” said Mom. “Great,” said Kelly. Matthew moaned. “Shut up hypocrite, we always have to wait on you because you don’t come down when Mom calls you,” Kelly shouted. “Yes if it’s still dry, take it off and put on a cloth one,” said Dad. “Okay Natalie, let’s get you in a cloth diaper,” Mom told me taking my hand. We went up to my room and I felt warmth in my diaper when we got to my room and I stood still. “I just had an accident,” I said. Mom looked at the bottom of my diaper and said “You sure did. I guess no cloth diaper for you, pull your pants back up.” I pulled mine back up and came back downstairs. “We didn’t make it,” said Mom. Dad sighed. “We are keeping all her diapers in our room from now on so this won’t happen again. This reminds me, did you get more cloth diapers like I told you to?” “Yes,” said Mom. “I hope you didn’t buy anything else.” “I saw a doughnut place so I had to stop for some,” said Mom. “Anita. We’re saving now and you buy doughnuts, how many did you get?” “Just two.” “I can never leave you with money or else you spend more than you need like you did at Fred Meyer and the kids failed to stop you.” “It was only two, it’s not like I spent five hundred dollars on junk,” said Mom. “Didn’t you use the money I gave you after I got paid or did you spend it already?” Dad asked. “I left it at home and I had a credit card so I bought doughnuts with it.” “You follow rules to a T but you couldn’t even follow mine when I specifically told you to buy diapers and plastic pants only and you bought doughnuts too instead,” Dad yelled. “They were just two doughnuts, it’s not going to make us all end up living in a card board box and it’s not like they cost one thousand dollars,” I said. Mom and Dad argued over her buying two doughnuts. I started to eat my food, I was starving. Kelly ate hers too and Matthew. “I will just give you the damn money for the doughnuts,” Mom yelled. “Will that shut you up?” Mom left the kitchen and Dad was sighing and grunting. He sat down and started to eat. Mom came back down and threw a ten dollar bill in his face. “Keep the change,” she said. Dad picked it up and slammed it on the table. Mom ate her food. “Dad can we please eat sooner without you?” Kelly asked. “I don’t want to be starving before you get home and then have to wait on Matthew and Natalie.” Dad sighed. “So I’m supposed to eat alone now?” “You did this, not us,” said Kelly. “No, we all eat as a family,” he said. “Then can we have snack back then so we won’t starve?” “We have to save money to pay back the expenses so that means we have to cut back on food and cable and internet and water and remember to turn off lights when they are not in use, not stay up too late anymore, no more family out.” “Will I still get a game every month?” I asked. “What?” Mom asked. I realized it had just slipped. “What do you mean?” Kelly asked. “What is she talking about?” Matthew asked. “Nothing,” said Dad. “Natalie what do you mean game every month?” Mom asked. “Nothing, I was just joking,” I lied. “When do I still get my horse?” Kelly asked. “What?” Mom asked. “Just joking,” said Kelly. “No jokes please,” said Mom. “One of my friends told me a better way of saving money is putting bricks in the toilet or a pop bottle with water and put it in there and it uses less water,” said Kelly. “She also said newer toilets use less water so you can replace all the toilets in the house to save money on water.” “I am not buying any new toilets,” said Dad. “Will my room still get painted?” I asked. “I will see if we still have white paint around when we repainted the hallway.” “What if we don’t have any paint, will I be stuck with Mom’s ugly drawings?” I asked. “Can we please finish her room Glen, its only white paint we need,” said Mom. “Paint doesn’t cost that much so what the hell,” said Dad. “Are we still going on that trip to Montana or are you going to make me cancel that?” Mom asked. “What about Thanksgiving, are you canceling that too?” “I know if I cancel it, you will just have a huge breakdown because I changed your plan,” said Dad. “But I have to see if I am allowed to even leave the state and you know I can’t drive and there is no way I can be here by myself without a car. Maybe if I explain to my probation officer about you, maybe he will feel sorry for you and grant it to me.” They kept on talking about it and Mom was upset all over again for what Dad did. “Anita, you knew about the possibility this was going to happen,” said Dad. “If Dad isn’t allowed to leave the state, how is he going to work?” Matthew asked. “I am allowed to leave then but I can only go to Portland and work and then come back since it’s part of the area,” said Dad. “But I cannot go beyond Portland so if I want to go to the Oregon coast, I have to get permission which is unlikely since I have fees to pay now so we must save money.” “What day are we leaving?” I asked. “Tuesday,” said Mom. “That is going to be a long drive,” said Dad. “What day are we leaving?” I asked again. “Friday,” said Mom. “Please let’s not stay at Aunt Bridgett’s,” said Kelly. “You can clean when you get there,” said Mom. “We have to save money anyway so we are going to stay there,” said Dad. “Oh man,” Kelly cried. “She has a mop and broom,” said Dad. “She wouldn’t mind if you cleaned.” “At least I would rather have her as my mother than Mom.” “Hey,” Dad barked. “Don’t talk that way about your mother. Show her respect.” “I hear you whine how difficult and complicated she is and how you wish for a normal woman and you defend her?” said Kelly. “It’s called a vent,” said Dad. “Okay I was venting too then,” said Kelly. “I wish I had a normal husband,” said Mom. “His drinking and him doing a DUI and always wanting the house to be a palace, he is so complicated and difficult and gets upset over me buying two doughnuts and some Halloween stuff. Ugh.” Dad said nothing to that. He just ignored it. Then we were all done eating and we all cleared out spots and helped cleaned up. It was nearly time for my shower. “What is Brian doing for Thanksgiving?” I asked. “I will talk to him this weekend and see what he is going to do,” said Dad. I finished up what I was doing and played my game for a little bit. Then when my shower time came, I noticed all my diapers were gone and in the closet were my cloth diapers neatly folded with the plastic pants. I didn’t see any new ones but the only two Dad got me. I grabbed a pair and one of the plastic pants and went in the bathroom. I took everything off including my wet diaper. It was only wet in the middle but I wouldn’t even want to put it back on. I tuned the water on and got a towel out from under the sink and I pooped right on the floor like I was some animal. Part of it got on the rug and the rest got on the hard floor. More came out and I rushed to the toiler and sat on it and some got in the toilet. I had left a little trial of poo and some got on the toilet seat too. I waited until I was done and then I flushed it and used the toilet paper to clean off the toilet seat. It smeared so I used a hand towel and got it wet and wiped it up. I tossed it in the corner where the laundry basket was and got in the shower leaving the poo on the floor. I shaved and washed my hair and got out. Now I had a big mess to clean up. I used the same hand towel and cleaned up the poo and would rinse it off in the sink and wring it out and wipe the floor again. I am not sure how long it took and I was happy I didn’t pee on the floor. I also tossed the rug in the corner and cleaned up my poo. I heard a knock on the door. “Are you almost done in there?” Kelly asked. “I don’t know,” I said. “Hurry up, I want to brush my teeth.” “So come in and do it,” I shouted. The door opened and Kelly came in. “What are you doing?” “Cleaning the floor,” I said. “Why?” “I slushed it.” “What?” “Pooped.” I rinsed the rag off in the sink. “Ew gross,” Kelly cried. “Why can’t you do it in the toilet?” “Poop washes down,” I said. “But people use that sink to clean and wash their hands in and now there is poo in it.” “No there isn’t, I will just wash it all down,” I said. I wiped more off the floor making sure it was perfect and then I tossed it in the corner with the rug. Then I made sure all of the poop was out of the sink. “I am never using that sink again,” said Kelly. “Showing in the tub is bad enough but the sink, ew.” Kelly is so silly, she is a silly blonde. “I am also never using that towel again,” Kelly added. “You’re a weird blonde,” I said putting on my diaper. I put my plastic pants back on and brushed my teeth in the sink I used for my poo while Kelly used the other sink. Then I used another towel and dried up the floor and tossed it in the corner. Then I left and went to my room and got my pajamas on and tossed my towel back in the bathroom again and went in Kelly’s room to use the computer. I also heard her take a shower and then she came in her room and saw me on her computer. I had just logged onto the Incontinent forum. “What are you doing on the computer, Mom and Dad say you can’t be on it,” she said. “I got it back because I finally told Mom about my sub,” I said. “You what?” Kelly asked. “I found out my teacher can’t spill my secret without my permission because it’s against the law so I finally told Mom about her. Now my goal is to get out of her class so I am going to be out of control and not have any of her punishments work on me and she will get so sick of me, she will want me out of her class.” “Wow, you would do that to a teacher?” Kelly asked. “Yep,” I said. “I don’t know how you can do all these things and not care about any consequences,” said Kelly. “Be strong,” I said. “No wonder you’re in a better mood. You got all your stuff back and now you’re happy again. Then we heard Mom and Dad fighting again. “Jesus, can they ever have a normal conversation without screaming at each other,” said Kelly. “Just our weird parents,” I said. I read the incontinent forum and then the Diaper Story’s Board I was also surprised to see Allie on because she sent me an IM. I told her I finally told my mom about Mrs. Trunchbull and I got my computer privileges back and my life feels back to normal and I couldn’t wait until tomorrow to give her a hard time again. I also told her how I keep my diapers with me now in my backpack because someone was stealing them and now the theft has stopped since they don’t know my combination to get in my locker. I wondered who the diaper stealer was but I would probably never find out. Allie said she wondered too but too bad she will never know. I also asked her about the time her mother called my mother on the phone because she found a diaper under her bed or Amber’s and whose was it. Allie said she didn’t know what I was talking about. I told her her mother called and said she found a diaper that looked just like mine under her daughter’s bed and she was with me the whole time so I know it wasn’t her. Allie said she never knew about it and her mom never said anything to her about it. Then she had to get off because her mother was calling her for bed. Allie signed off and I closed out of the window. I thought the whole thing about a diaper under someone’s bed was weird and Allie knew nothing about it. Why wouldn’t Denise ask any of her kids about it?
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Post by Bad Beth on Nov 15, 2013 23:28:29 GMT
Chapter 24
Mom woke me up the next day. I was in a soaking wet cloth diaper I had changed in the middle of the night. I felt Mom waving something in my face and hitting me with it. Not too hard of course. “I have one of your diapers here,” said Mom. I opened my eyes and I saw one of my disposable diapers in her hand. She set it down on my bed and pulled me up. She pulled off my pajamas and had me stand up. She pulled down my plastic pants and undid my diaper and Mom set it on the floor. I was so tired I was leaning against her. “Natalie, you’re leaning too hard on me you’re going to knock me down,” she said. She pushed me off and I fell on my bed. Not wanting to leak on it, I rolled onto the floor. Mom had the tub of wipes with her and she wiped my bottom and unfolded my diaper and put it on me. She picked out my clothes and got me dressed. She left my room with my wet diaper and I lied there for a few minutes. Then I got up and went downstairs. I had some cereal and Kelly was up too. We both ate and Kelly just ate slow. Mom was drinking some coffee while watching TV. “Mom, since Dad won’t be canceling Thanksgiving, does that mean he will change his mind about Christmas?” Kelly asked. “I don’t know,” said Mom. “This all sucks. I hope Dad will still let me do school activities or do sports.” I put my bowl in the dishwasher when I was through. “Aren’t you going to say anything?” Kelly asked Mom. “What do you want me to say?” Mom asked. “Arghhh,” said Kelly. “Why can’t I even have a conversation with you?” “No idea,” said Mom. “I have no one to talk to,” Kelly whined. “Yes you do, you can talk to any of us,” said Mom. “But you never say anything back.” “I listen,” said Mom. “But you never carry on a topic, I want to actually talk to you.” I took my odor pill and headed upstairs to get ready while Kelly was just being Kelly again. Matthew was still sleeping in his room and he had blankets over his head. I know because I looked. I brushed my teeth in the bathroom and then brushed my hair and I got my backpack and I still had my diapers in there. I went back downstairs. Kelly was no longer fighting with Mom. “Mom, where is my Game Boy?” I asked. Mom got up and headed upstairs. I assumed she was getting it. I went in the den and played Mario Party 2 I had kept hidden in my room. I selected the Western board and picked Peach as my player and picked my opponents, all human characters, and selected twenty rounds and got the game started. What I love about this game is no one loses coins when they lose a mini game and the stars turn into coins at the end and it goes into the bank. Then Mom came in the den and set my Game Boy on the counter. I kept on playing until it was time to leave and I had it set to save every turn. I grabbed my backpack and binder and got my shoes on and my coat and headed out the door, of course I remembered my Game Boy but I still had no recorder. I walked to the van and got in. This time the radio was on. It sounded like some talk show and the voice sounded like Barney. “That sounds like Barney,” I said. “It is,” said Mark. “Why is he on the air?” “It’s a talk show, it isn’t real,” said Mark. “But why is he on?” I asked. “Part of the show. It’s called Evil Barney.” Then a song came on and it was a Backstreet Boys song and I noticed the lyrics were different. It went “One Backstreet Boy is gay” instead of “I want it that way.” “I hate this song, it’s so insulting,” said Cindy covering her ears. “Why?” I asked. “She loves the group so she doesn’t like this song,” said Mark. When the song ended, Cindy said “Thank god, it’s over,” and she uncovered her ears Then another talk show came on. Some guy called looking for some room number and the lady couldn’t give it to him because he didn’t have the right room number. Then another talk show came on and then a Britney Spears song came on but it was different lyrics too. Instead of “Baby baby” it was “my boobies boobies” and “Make my boobies one more size” instead of “baby one more time.” The whole song was about surgery to make her boobs bigger because she didn’t like being flat chested. “I don’t think any of these songs are appropriate for school,” said Sam. Kids begged him to keep it on so he did. Then the song ended and it wasn’t very long and another talk show came on with music in the background. We picked up Jerry next. “This sounds like Z100,” he said after he sat down. “It is,” said Brian. “It’s The Morning Zoo 15 years of Crap.” “I used to listen to that station until I got tired of it,” I said. “I remember their days of using bad words and talk shows they do every morning and people calling them and talking to them and that Spice Girls song about getting run over by a reindeer and The Spice Boys.” “Well The Z Morning Zoo is gone now and now they have that lame talk show and the station sucks now so I stopped listening to it,” said Mark. “You know The Spice Girls didn’t do that song,” said Brian. “I know but they were part of the song,” I said. “No that was just someone using their voices.” “And there is no such thing as The Spice Boys,” said Gary. “That was just the announcers doing it for the show. God I can’t believe you thought they were real and also thought the Spice Girls participated in the parody song of Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.” He laughed. I felt stupid. “I bet you also thought the other talk shows they did were also real instead of an act,” said Gary. “Enough Gary,” said Sam. Gary stopped talking to me. “So is this a tape or what?” I asked. “CD,” said Mark. We picked up more kids and headed to school. Most of the CD was just talk shows. When we got to school, we all got out and went inside. I was looking forward to seeing Mrs. Trunchbull again and seeing what the outcome is. I went to my locker and put my Game Boy in there and my coat and my backpack and headed to class. I still was not going to bring my Game Boy in there and risk having it get stomped on and thrown on the ground. I went in the classroom and kids started to ask me about yesterday. “You’re still alive,” said Janelle. “Yeah,” I said. I had a funny look on my face. What a strange comment. “What did she do to you?” Eddie asked. “Nothing, she let me leave when the bell rang,” I said. “But didn’t anything else happen after that?” “No,” I said. “I would just wait,” he said. “Why?” “Dude, this is Mrs. Bitch. I bet she is planning something right now to teach you a lesson for messing with her or maybe she is letting you think you won before a big consequence comes.” “What could she possibly do?” I asked. “I don’t know. But any kid that tries to get out of this class is never seen again.” “Why?” “I don’t know, she probably sends them somewhere, one of them is juvi hall.” “She can’t put me in juvi hall if I am not violent,” I said. “You punched her in the nose,” Eddie shouted. “It was an accident.” “No it wasn’t. You really did punch her.” “No, it was an accident,” I said again. “How can I do it intentionally if I wasn’t even looking?” “Good aim.” “I didn’t even know she was there until I punched her,” I said. “Well now she knows how she can get you to assault her so she can have you arrested and charged.” “What about people who don’t survive this class?” I asked. “They are gone too,” he said. “Don’t they go to other classes?” I asked. “Rarely. I know Jason got out, he was damn lucky.” “Maybe my mom will get me out of here too since I complained to her about her,” I said. “You did?” Janelle asked. “Yeah” I said. “Oh no, you’re in big trouble now.” “How, she can’t even share anything personal about me without my permission,” I said. “This is Mrs. Bitch, she can do anything,” said Kenny. “How?” “She is manipulative, she could say she had your permission and you are just lying about it.” I started to feel nervous again. Did I make a mistake acting out to get out of this class? “I will just say she didn’t have my permission,” I said. “Hello, earth to Natalia,” said Eddie. “This is Mrs. Bitch, she can do anything and get the school on her side. We’re just a bunch of broken students so why would they take us seriously? Mrs. Bitch is the normal one and we’re all broken.” “My parents would believe me,” I said. A few more kids came to our class and saw the argument between me and the other kids. Then the bell rang and everyone sat down. I just stayed put and walked around. “I can’t believe she is really doing this,” said Amber. “Another student to disappear,” said Ricky the silent reader. “At least I won’t be around Mrs. Trunchbull,” I said. Then Mrs. Trunchbull came in. “Why do blondes have TGIF written on front of their shirts?” I asked. “Tits go in front.” Kids laughed and Mrs. Trunchbull yanked my arm and pulled me out of the class. It hurt. She pulled me out of the room and pushed me against the wall. “You are going to get it young lady,” she told me quietly. “Okay Trunchbull,” I said. “Excuse me?” she asked. “Nothing nothing,” I said. “Trunchbull,” I said under my breath. “No, what did you say?” Mrs. Trunchbull asked. “Trunchbull,” I said. Her grip got tighter on me. “You’re treading on thin ice.” “You can’t control me anymore,” I said. “I’m not afraid of you.” “You don’t know who you’re messing with. Every student who has screwed with me has always been the ones gone, not me.” “I don’t care, at least I wouldn’t be in your class and that is all I care about,” I said. Her mouth opened. “If you keep this up, I will spill your secret,” she threatened. “Okay,” I said. “I mean it,” she said louder. “I know,” I said. “I really mean it, I’m not kidding.” “I know that,” I shouted. “Stop it,” she shouted. “You stop it,” I said back. She let go and growled and stormed back in class. I felt good. I wonder why she got so upset but I didn’t care. At least she was seeing she can’t get to me. I think I like this teacher now, she is fun to mess with and English has become my favorite class because of her. Why didn’t I ever think of this before? I could I have done it in kindergarten. I took a break from myself and just rested in the hallway. I walked around in front of the door thinking. Then I saw Mrs. Peggy. She saw me in the hallway. “What are you doing out here?” she asked. “Ask Mrs. Kink,” I said. Mrs. Peggy knocked on the door and went inside. I waited and then she came back out. “She told me you needed a break so she let you step out here,” she said. Mrs. Trunchbull had lied again. “But you can sit in the quiet room so you are not standing out here,” Mrs. Peggy told me. “Okay,” I said. I walked to the quiet room and I loved the comfort of sitting in a chair instead of standing or having to sit on the dirty floor. At least I didn’t have to deal with Mrs. Trunchbull. I had found another way to get out of her class. “Whenever you need to leave class you are free to some in here,” said Mrs. Peggy. “Okay,” I said. From now on every time I get kicked out of her class, I will come in here and what is she going to tell Mrs. Peggy why she sent me in the hall? I waited and waited and then Mrs. Trunchbull came and got me and told me to get back to her class. I wonder how she knew I was in here. I walked back and went to her room and sat down. Mrs. Trunchbull came in after me. “You have lot of catching up to do young lady or you are getting an F and what will your parents say to that?” I shrugged. “I will tell them how much of a trouble maker you have been in this class and how other students have been having trouble learning because of you.” I didn’t say anything. How would she know I have been affecting them? Kids were reading in groups and I was alone reading 1984. I hated the book and I wished I just did terrible with my work so I would have still been reading The Giver. I wish I also didn’t read that book out of class. Mrs. Trunchbull yelled at me again for flipping pages in her book. I also didn’t stop myself from sniffing it too. She scolded me two more times for the crimes I was committing and she took the book away and told me head down. I waited until class ended and everyone got out of their seats. “Natalia,” said Mrs. Trunchbull. I kept on walking. I was not going to pay any attention to her unless she called me Natalie. “Natalia, she’s talking to you,” said Alyssa. “I’m Natalie,” I said. “Natalia, come here,” Mrs. Trunchbull ordered. She raced over to me and blocked my way. “Call me Natalie,” I said. “I will when you behave yourself.” All the kids were out of the class and Mrs. Trunchbull kept blocking my way. She was standing right by the door and it was open. I saw the gap between her and the door way. I walked away and turned around. Mrs. Trunchbull started to talk to me and it was about me slacking off in class and how behind I have gotten. I ran over to her and slid on the floor and I went under her and I got up and grabbed my binder and ran bumping into some kids saying sorry. I hoped my diaper didn’t pop. I felt my butt when I got to Mrs. Zeller’s. It still felt normal. “Can I use the bathroom quick?” I asked Mrs. Zeller. “Sure,” she said. I left class and went to the nearest restroom. I went in one of the stalls and pulled down my pants and felt inside my swimsuit and my diaper still felt fine. I pulled my pants back up and left the stall. I headed back to Mrs. Zeller’s. The bell just rang when I got back. I noticed my binder has been moved. Annoyed, I picked it up and sat down in another empty seat. Mrs. Zeller took our attendance and set it by the door. We did another math lesson. I no longer disliked math because it was made easy now thanks to her working with us through each problem. I tapped my foot and sniffed my paper. At least Mrs. Zeller doesn’t expect us to be zombies and isn’t bothered by harmless behavior. I think if I keep up with what I am doing with the Trunchbull, things won’t be so bad between us. She will either leave me be or switch me to another class. I also felt like James bond for escaping from the room. It was just a trick I learned when I was little. I never thought I would need to do it. I wonder why she didn’t even chase after me or yell after me.
Soon it was time for Spanish and I got out of my seat. Mrs. Zeller talked to me again asking me if I was looking forward to after school. “Yep,” I said. “Are you comfortable staying an hour after school and catching up?” “Yes,” I said. “How am I going to get home?” “That was what your mother and I talked about; she will pick you up and if you get done sooner, just give her a call.” “How will Jason get home?” I asked. “His mom will come pick him up.” “Where will he be helping me?” “He will help you in one of the rooms here, just go to the office and Mrs. Peggy will lead you to it. You will need to check out your math book, I will write down what problems you need to do and what page number.” Mrs. Zeller wrote down on a piece of paper the page number and the number of problems and I wrote down the book number and she put the paper in the math book inside the cover. “Here you go,” she said. I took it and walked away. “What do you say?” Mrs. Zeller asked. I shrugged. “Thank you,” said Mrs. Zeller. “You’re welcome,” I said. “No you were supposed to say thank you.” “Thank you,” I said. “You can go to class now.” I was excused and I went to Spanish. I got bothered by Joshua and his gang again. I slapped them with my binder and kept on walking to class. I met up with Jason and told him I got my Game Boy back and showed it to him. “Cool, how did you get it back?” he asked. “I told my mom finally and she listened.” “Wow, are you going to switch to another class now?” “I don’t know,” I said. “You mean she has done nothing about it yet?” “I don’t know,” I said. “How quickly did you switch out of her class when you told your mom?” “Few days.” “Okay, so it might be until after Thanksgiving when I get a new English teacher. What are you doing for Thanksgiving?” “I don’t know, it’s always Mom and I alone. My relatives are too far away and my grandparents live in Arizona.” “Why don’t you ever go to them?” I asked. “Too expensive my mom says. What we do instead is have a special meal together and watch a movie together and we always drink sparkling cider.” “I love that stuff,” I said. “I always pretend it’s alcohol and I am drinking like my father.” “Do you drink it out of a wine glass?” Jason asked. “Yep. Do you?” “Yes, we both do.” “I am going out to Montana this year with my family and having it out there with other relatives,” I said. “Oh,” said Jason. “You have to wait until Tuesday to get one of my games.” “I know,” I said. “TGIF.” Then I decided to tell a blonde joke I learned online two months back. “A blonde is getting off work and she is on the elevator, she sees another guy get on and she says to him “TGIF sir” and the man says back to her S-H-I-T and she says “I was just trying to be friendly, T for Thank G for goodness I for it’s and F for Friday” and the guy says back to her “S for sorry H for honey I for it’s and T for Thursday.” “You must love blonde jokes, you have been telling them since we started talking,” said Jason. “I love them,” I said. “I have a sister who is a dumb blonde. She thinks my mom doesn’t care, and today she got mad at her because she wasn’t saying anything and she didn’t know what she wanted her to say and it made my sister mad again and she thinks she acts retarded.” “That’s not being a dumb blonde, that’s being a normie.” “But she is being so stupid,” I said. “But that is the way normies are towards us. They are weird people. I say they need fixing, not us.” “My parents are trying to get her fixed,” I said. “How?” “Therapy.” “How is she getting therapy?” “She sees someone every week and they talk.” “Oh one of those things people go to when they have problems to talk about. That’s not fixing them, that is to just helping them cope and getting over it.” “I still like calling her a dumb blonde,” I said. Then the bell rang and Mr. Leaf said “Buenos dias.” “Buenos dias,” we all repeated back. Mr. Leaf took our attendance. He set it by the door and started class. “Okay, we are going to learn to conjugate.” He had us all get a book and open it to page 25. I did see a box with Spanish words. Mr. Leaf wrote one of the words on the board. Then he drew the grid the words go in and wrote each word in the box. He told us to copy it all down. It was the same word but the ending was different. It was with the word Gustar and there was gusta and gustan and it was all confusing. He also had us conjugate other words and he had written English words next to it so we would know what they meant. “This is all confusing,” said Sarah. “It is at first and then it gets easier once you learn more words,” said Mr. Leaf. “I think English is the easiest,” I said. “No it’s the hardest,” said Mr. Leaf. “Why?” I asked. “Because it’s so inconsistent and we have so many words for every single word and sentence and each letter sounds different depending on the word like we all know C is pronounced Kuh but how do you explain to a none English speaker it’s not always pronounced that in each word with it because sometimes it’s pronounced sh as in ocean.” “You memorize,” I said. “Life is full of it.” “But we have so many words to memorize and remember it’s hard for a none native speaker,” said Mr. Leaf. “Also we have so many slangs and idioms other countries don’t even have them it makes it hard. We also have so many irregular verbs and have words that sound the same but are spelled different and have some words that are spelled the same but are pronounced different like bow and bow (bo) and read and read (red) and we have so many exceptions to the rules in our language it looks like the rules keep changing and it makes it so confusing to none native speakers.” I felt special, I knew the toughest language in the world and I found it so easy to learn it because I grew up around it and learned to speak it. “But how come we found it so easy to learn it?” Garrett asked. “Because it’s your native language and it’s very easy to learn to speak it when you’re young, it’s easier to learn another language when you’re young,” Mr. Leaf replied. “Why?” I asked. “Because you brain is still developing and kids learn faster than adults and that is why babies know so many words by their third year. Babies learn so much in one year after they are born and there is always a difference between a two year old and a one year old and even a month makes a difference because two babies may be the same age but if they are two months apart, you can tell the huge difference between the two because of what the older one can do what the younger one can’t do yet. That is how fast they learn and the toddler years are the quickest because their minds are developing so fast.” There was more talking and I didn’t know I had tuned out until Mrs. Leaf said “It’s the same with body language, not all body language means the same so someone can laugh and it doesn’t always mean they found it funny, it can mean other things like embarrassment, and “I can’t believe she did that.” I found that so confusing. I didn’t know body language rules change. How can you tell if someone is laughing because they are embarrassed or laughing because they found it funny or laughing because they can’t believe what you just said. I wonder how people even learn the difference. “How do you learn the difference?” I asked. “It comes natural to most of us, we just know like we do with the English language,” said Mr. Leaf. “Well that sounded confusing what you said about body language,” I said. “Now you know what learning English is like for none native speakers.” There as more talking and then Mr. Leaf said “Let’s get back to our topic.” Some kids still mentioned body language and how English being so hard to learn but we learned it so easily. “Time to move on,” said Mr. Leaf. He had to say it three more times before everyone was ready to move on. We got back to the topic and learned some sentences with it.
After class got out, I headed to my locker and got my backpack out of there and headed to the office. I went in the health room and changed my diaper in the bathroom. I was wet in the middle but the rule was I change every four hours to prevent leaks and I would hate to leak in school. I put my backpack back in my locker and headed to Science. It’s still biology but they call it science. “You seem to be having another good day,” Mr. Whirt told me during class. “Why?” I asked. “You just seem to be in a better mood, you’re not fidgeting as much, maybe you finally adjusted here.” “Maybe,” I said. “What has Mrs. B done to you yet?” Joe asked who sits in front of me. “Nothing,” I said. “Really?” “Yeah, what is she going to do?” “I don’t know and I would be too afraid to find out,” he said. “I’m not afraid, what is she going to do? Kill me?” “You’re crazy.” “Why?” “She’s Mrs. B and you keep going at her.” “So.” “You’re crazy.” “Someone has to be strong,” I said. Soon Mrs. Peggy came in the room and asked to speak to me. I got up and went in the hallway. Mrs. Peggy took me to her office and we sat in the small room I was in yesterday. “I talked to Mrs. Bitch and to Mr. Brooks and he told he never said anything about being threatened by her.” “What?” I asked. “Also she said you never apologized to her.” “She never asked for it,” I said. “You will apologize to her and I better hear that you did, we talked about this yesterday. “ “But what Mr. Brooks saying he was never threatened by her?” I asked. “He told me he was and he used to complain about her all the time until she threatened to ruin his career if he doesn’t stop.” “He said she never threatened him and he never told you that.” “I really wish I had my recorder,” I said. “What?” Mrs. Peggy asked. “I wished I had my recorder, then I would be recording what people say to me to prove it so you won’t think I am lying,” I said. “Natalie, I know you don’t like this teacher but you can’t keep making up lies about her.” “I’m not and I never lie,” I yelled. I bet Mr. Brooks lied about what he told me just so he won’t get in trouble by her and have his career ruined. I wonder if Mrs. Trunchbull knew he told me that. “We do offer counseling here, it looks like you could benefit going to it,” said Mrs. Peggy. “Why?” I asked. “Just so you can work out your issues, talk, and I am aware of some of the problems you have been having since you started here.” “Kids are mean to me,” I said. “Okay. Who has been mean to you?” I tried to think but I couldn’t remember except Joshua and his friends so I told her about them. “Do you know the other guys names and his last name?” “No,” I said. “Okay, I will try and get to the bottom of it.” She talked some more and she told me to show better respect. I was mad I was being made the bad guy again and the fact she wouldn’t believe me about Mr. Brooks. I went back to Science. I wasn’t having a good time anymore. I was bothered and distracted by all of this. I could really see why kids were afraid of her and why grownups never believe them and other grownups lie too just to protect themselves. I bet they were also afraid of her.
During lunch, Mrs. Peggy took me to her office again after I took my odor pill. She said she needed to talk to me. She sat me in the small room again. “Mrs. Kink was talking to me and she told me you shoved her when you left her class and you knocked her down and she showed me a bruise on her arm where she hit it when you knocked her off her feet.” “I never even touched her,” I shouted. “She’s lying.” “If you don’t believe me, I will show you her bruise now.” “I bet she gave herself that bruise just to frame me,” I said. “Natalie, what did I say about making stuff up?” “I am not making it up, she framed me. She wants to make me look bad just to get me into trouble so she can keep me as her puppet.” “You’re not the only student in this school who has had issues with authority and trying to be the victim.” I think I was starting to hate this principal too, Mrs. Trunchbull had her under her spell and she was believing her, not me because I’m broken and she isn’t. “So why did you push her?” Mrs. Peggy asked. “I didn’t,” I said. “I slid under her because she wouldn’t let me leave and she was calling me a slacker and all because I am behind in class.” “That’s not what she said happened.” “You believe her because she is a normie and I am not so you think she is telling the truth and because I’m not normal, you think I’m lying. When you’re different, you’re always wrong,” I cried. “Now that’s not true,” said Mrs. Peggy calmly. “Yes it is or else you would believe us but because we’re all broken, you think we’re all lying and think we’re all wrong and you believe Mrs. Kink’s lies, this is the worst school ever and I wish you would just kick me out.” “We don’t kick students out,” said Mrs. Peggy. “But kids who have tried getting out of her class are not in school anymore,” I said. “Explain that.” “That is because parents sometimes take their kids out of here because they like to believe their own children,” Mrs. Peggy explained. “You mean she doesn’t send them somewhere else?” I asked. “Who told you that?” “Kids in my class,” I said. Mrs. Peggy smirked. “Don’t believe everything they say, she has no authority to put kids somewhere else.” “What about the boy name Jonathon who got arrested and went to jail and got set up by her?” “Who told you that?” “Kids from my class,” I said again. “No he was taken out because his parents felt he needed to be in a different school for kids with his problems and too many kids here were not comfortable being around him because of his violent outbursts so his parents felt it was best to find a different school for him.” “But they said he went to juvi hall,” I said. “I don’t know about that, the police did come here and take him away and then his parents decided to take him out.” “But didn’t she set him up so he could attack her?” I asked. “Don’t believe everything you hear,” said. Mrs. Peggy. “But did he attack her like give her black eyes, bruises, bloody nose?” I asked. “He assaulted her and the police were called and they did come and took him away,” Mrs. Peggy replied. “But kids said she provoked him so he could attack her,” I said. “I doubt that is what happened and that is what they think she did. He just had anger problems and he didn’t like any corrections she was giving him and being told to take deep breaths when he is angry and lot of students here like to pick on the poor teacher.” “What do you mean pick on her?” I asked. “What you are doing now, making up stuff about her, trying to make her look bad, some even try and play practical jokes on her.” “She has you under her spell,” I said. “You believe all her lies.” “Natalie, I am not going to keep playing this game,” said Mrs. Peggy. “It’s not a game,” I said. “Enough, this stops right now. This has been going on since she started here in 1998 and this all ends right now from all of you. I thought this was all over but apparently it’s not so when you were new here, they all decided to start it all up again and I am surprised she has stuck around and put up with all this. Now I want to hear you showing her respect ad stop with this game.” I was mad. I hated her. She was so stupid and a dumb blonde. I really needed that damn recorder. “I am going to take you to her right now and have you apologize,” Mrs. Peggy told me. She took me out of her room and we went back to her room where I was supposed to be writing on the board. Mrs. Trunchbull was still in there sitting at her desk. “She is now ready to apologize,” Mrs. Peggy announced. Mrs. Trunchbull was looking at me and I was standing her at her desk with Mrs. Peggy next to me. “Natalie,” said Mrs. Peggy. “Sorry,” I said quietly. “Louder please,” said Mrs. Peggy. “Sorry,” I said a little louder. “For?” Mrs. Trunchbull asked. “Punching you,” I said. “That is okay Natalia, I would like to be friends but we have been getting off on a very bad start. I would like to start over.” “See Natalie, she is not so evil you were making her out to be,” Mrs. Peggy told me. Then she said to her. “She was believing all the rumors kids were telling her about you but I told her you have no authority sending kids anywhere else and Jonathon did not go to jail and you didn’t set him up and I also told her to not believe everything they tell her. She also doesn’t believe she pushed you so will you show her the bruise she left you.” “Certainly,” said Mrs. Trunchbull. She rolled up her sleeve and showed me a small bruise on her upper arm near her elbow. It was a dark bruise. “I didn’t do that, I never pushed her,” I said. “Then how did it get there?” Mrs. Trunchbull asked. “I don’t know. Maybe you already had it and you decided to use it for your story.” “Natalie, what did I tell you about playing games?” Mrs. Peggy asked. “I am not playing a game, I’m telling the truth,” I cried. “Natalie I know you have a history of doing things you were not aware of so I think that is what may have happened here, you were not aware of it so you think you didn’t push her but you did. I don’t think you are lying because that is what you truly believe,” said Mrs. Peggy. “But you have to believe me, I wouldn’t lie to you about it.” I wanted out of this class. “I think I will take things from here Principal Peggy,” said Mrs. Trunchbull smiling. “You can leave now.” “Thank you Jessica,” said Mrs. Peggy. Mrs. Trunchbull waited for her to leave before she went back to her real self again. “Okay listen here, you are getting very very close to thin ice and I know you didn’t push me but you don’t want to mess with me and now that she knows you have done things before you were not aware of, she will just keep thinking that is what happened. Now get to the board and write and no using the eraser. You have,” she looked at the clock. “Five minutes so get started now.” I went to the board and picked up the red marker and started to write. “I will not break wind, talk back and be a smart ass,” I wrote. I wrote it slowly. “Faster,” said Mrs. Trunchbull. I wrote slower. “Don’t do this again, I say write faster,” she scolded. I wrote even more slower. I heard her get out of her chair and then she grabbed me and I jumped and she held my arms this time so I couldn’t move them. “I say write faster,” she said. She gripped onto my right hand and brought it to the board and wrote with it showing me how fast she wanted me to go. She wrote a few letters and then told me to write that speed and do it in a straight line. I wrote the speed but I tried to keep it straight. “Keep it straight,” Mrs. Trunchbull ordered. “I’m doing my best,” I said. “No back talk.” I kept trying to keep it in a straight line with her starting to mock me again for writing crooked so I started to write down intentionally. “Keep it straight, keep it straight.” I started to write up again. “Stop it right now,” she yelled. Then the bell rang. I put the cap on the marker and set it down. “You will be back in here on Monday,” she said. “Okay,” I said. “See you on Monday.” I heard her grunt. Doesn’t she ever learn? I wonder if her true hair color is blonde. Maybe if I keep at it, she will stop unless she really is a blonde.
I told Jason when I got to the gym about what happened during lunch. “Man you really did make it worse,” he said. “She still hasn’t learned to be nice because she still made fun of me and still tried to make me write straight and it wasn’t good enough for her so I wrote down and then up and she got mad.” “Pretty soon you won’t be here anymore,” said Jason. “Mrs. Peggy told me she can’t send kids anywhere else, she has no authority too and Jonathon didn’t go to juvi hall. His parents took him out and so did the other parents when those other kids disappeared too.” “Really?” Jason asked. “She told you that.” “Yeah,” I said. “So that means she was lying, why would she do that?” “I don’t know.” “Mrs. Kink really doesn’t send kids anywhere?” Brett asked. He must have over heard me. “No,” I said. “How do you know?” “Mrs. Peggy told me. Spread the word so everyone else knows.” “Are you going to try and turn everyone on Mrs. Bitch?” Jason asked me. “I don’t know, maybe once everyone knows she can’t send anyway away, they might be less afraid of her and also start doing things to drive her crazy and be out of control too like me and she will get so frustrated she can’t control us she will have to quit,” I said. “You just keep it going after what she just did to you,” said Jason. “This is fun,” I said. “What else can she do? This school doesn’t kick kids out so there is no way I can get kicked out of here unless my parents take me out and she can’t send me anywhere else so she has no power over me and I won’t let her punishments work on me.” “I wouldn’t want to know, you’re playing with fire.” “No I’m not,” I said. “It means you are putting yourself in a dangerous situation and you’re not even worried about what she could do?” “What is she going to do? Kill me?” I asked. “Never mind,” he sighed.
Then the bell rang and we waited for Mrs. Jenkins. During PE we played Stuck in the Mud and What Time is it Mr. Fox. This all brought back memories of elementary school. I hadn’t found PE fun in a long time.
After school, I saw Allie again when I was heading to the office. She saw me in the hall when I was leaving my locker. “Why don’t you put your binder in there?” Allie asked. “I don’t have room,” I said. “Why not?” “Someone was stealing my products so I keep them with me now in my locker and I take it to the bathroom with me when I go,” I said. “So that’s where you keep them,” said Allie. “And none disappear anymore.” “That’s good. Did you ever find out who the diaper wannabe is?” “No, I wish I knew.” I stepped into the office. “What are you doing, we have to go home,” said Allie. “No I am staying after school to catch up on math,” I said. “I just have to meet Jason here and his mom is going to come pick us up and take her to his house and work on it.” “Ooo is he your boyfriend?” Allie asked. “No,” I said. “He is just a kid in my classes and my game exchanger and he decided to help me catch up in math.” “He really likes you, that is why he wants to trade games with you every week and now he wants to help you in math and he won’t stop talking to you.” “He has never even asked me to be his girlfriend,” I said. “Just wait, pretty soon he will kiss you or put his arm on you, that always happens when they want to be your boyfriend.” “Have you been watching too many movies?” I asked. “No, I just know these things just by what I have seen on TV. They always start with being friendly with you and wanting to hang around you and always talking to you and then pretty soon they ask you to come over to their house which is what he is doing now. He really likes you,” said Allie. “Whatever,” I said. “I bet he will ask you to be his girlfriend. Let me know if he ever puts his arm around you.” Then Allie left for the van and I just waited in the office. Mrs. Peggy then came in. “Oh you’re here, let me show you where Jason will be helping you with math.” “I thought he was going to take me to his house after all?” I asked. “He is? I didn’t know there was a change of plan.” Jason had decided to just have me come to his house if his mom will let me and I was okay with it. I was curious to see his home and all his video games. Then Jason came in the office, “I need to call my mother to tell her she needs to come pick us up.” Mrs. Peggy let him use her phone. “Mom, is it okay if you come and pick us up, I decided to do it at your house instead of here. I hope it won’t be too bad for you. Okay thanks,” and he hung up. “What did she say?” I asked. “She said yes,” he said. “Is she coming or are we doing it here?” I asked. “I said yes,” he said. “But was it for coming to get us or for it being too bad?” “She said yes for picking us up.” We both waited in the hallway by the front door and we played our Game Boys. Kids left and vans and buses took off. Sam walked in the building and he saw me. “There you are, we’re waiting for you,” he scolded. “She’s coming with me,” said Jason. “Do you have a note or something?” Sam asked me. “No.” “I am not allowed to leave without any of my riders, come.” “Call my mother if you don’t believe me or talk to the principal,” I said. He went to the office. Soon he came back out and said to me to bring a note next time from my parents or have her call him to let him know, school policy. Then he left. Jason and I waited and then the door opened and in walked a woman who had dark blonde hair and she looked like Miss Honey from Matilda. “Jason,” she said. Jason walked over to her and I assumed it was his mom. “You must be Natalie, Jason has told me some about you,” she said holding her hand out. I took it and shook it. “You can call me Jen,” she said. We both headed outside and then I saw my mother walking in the parking lot. “Mom, what are you doing here?” I shouted. “I have a meeting with your principal,” she said. She walked over to us and Jen introduced herself to her as Jennifer and said she was Jason’s mother and she can call her Jen and that is what everyone calls her. “I’m Natalie’s mother, Anita,” Mom said shaking her hand without looking at her face. “Anita?” said Jen. “I don’t hear that name often anymore, I hear your daughter has Mrs. Kink, I would get her out of there if I were you,” said Jen. “She is a bad teacher who shouldn’t be teaching in education and that is the only part the school has failed.” “My daughter told me all about her finally,” said Mom. “I’m going to tell the principal what she told me and get her out of there.” I felt happy what I heard, Mom was getting me out of her class finally. Jen talked for a couple minutes and Mom asked where was she going to pick me up but Jen said she could take me home and I can just show her the way and she opened her purse and took out a card and handed it to her. “This has my name and number on it so give me a call if you need to and I know parents like to be in contact with other parents about their kids.” Mom looked at it and put it in her purse and she also liked Jen’s idea about her taking me home just to save on gas and my Dad would be so happy it’s not being “wasted” because of the debt we’re in now so he has gone cheap now. Then Mom walked away. “How rude,” said Jen. I was embarrassed. “What did she do Mom?” Jason asked. “Walked away in the middle of our talk, she must be very prompt but she could have at least told me she had to get going to her meeting and say bye,” said Jen. So that is what Mom did. We headed to Jen’s car. “When leaving a conversation Jason, you always say you always have to say bye first,” said Jen. “It’s a polite thing to do, you don’t just walk away without saying “It was good seeing you but I have to leave now, bye.” “What if you didn’t enjoy talking to them?” Jason asked. “Then you say “I better go now so see you, bye. You don’t tell them it was boring seeing them or it sucked seeing them.” We got in and Jason sat in the front and I sat in the back behind him. It was just a four car passenger car and it was white. “Why aren’t we allowed to be honest?” Jason asked. “Because then we would all be hurting everyone’s feelings, you wouldn’t want to be called fat would you?” Jen asked “I already have,” he said. “And it would always hurt your feelings so you decided to go lift weights and run just so you would stop getting teased about it.” “But they were just being mean.” “Telling people they are boring and they sucked is also mean too is what is the difference?” said Jen. “But it would be the truth they are boring and they suck,” said Jason. “Well they thought you were fat so that was the truth they were telling.” “But they were mean to me about it, I’m not being mean to them if I say they are boring and they suck.” “But they would also comment on how fat you are and it would still upset you,” said Jen. “They were being honest, they were speaking the truth and it still hurt your feelings. Why the double standard?” “It’s not a double standard,” said Jason. “Why do you think it’s okay to tell people they’re boring and they suck when talking to them but yet you don’t find it acceptable for people to say you’re fat?” “Because they were mean.” “But what if they were nice and they said no you can’t have this because you’re too big? No you can’t have any of my Halloween candy because you need to lose some weight first.” “Natalie called me fat in school and it didn’t bother me.” “So being called fat doesn’t bother you anymore and you had toughened up,” said Jen. “No she wasn’t being mean.” “What’s the difference saying it to be mean and not saying it to be mean? They’re all the same.” The argument continued between Jason and his mother about calling people fat and boring and saying they suck. It all looked familiar like I have seen it in my house before with Mom and Matthew and I or with Dad and her and with Kelly. I don’t mean with calling people fat, I mean with anything we would fight about when discussing things. Soon we arrived at their house and they didn’t even live in a house, they lived in an apartment. We had pulled into the parking lot and parked under a carport and we got out. I carried my stuff up to the door after Jen told me what their apartment number was. Jen unlocked the door and we all went inside. I took my shoes off and my coat and put my backpack on the floor carrying my math book and binder. Jason just dumped his stuff on the floor in the entry way. I walked around the apartment looking. It was a good sized. It had two good sized bedrooms and one side I could tell was Jen’s and the other room was Jason’s and it had a twin bed and a dresser, big bookshelf, drum set, TV set and Nintendo 64 and he had other stuff like movies and he also had a desk. I also saw they had a huge living room and there was the kitchen and a good sized eating area that was probably the size of Brian’s bedroom in his apartment. Jen’s apartment was bigger than Brian and Kate’s apartment. I saw they had a bathroom too and it had the tub in there with the sink and toilet and the bathroom wasn’t tiny either. It was rectangular and it had one sink and a cupboard next to the tub and the toilet sat next to the tub and sink. “Natalie, let’s get started on your homework,” said Jason. We sat down at the table in the dining room. “Do you want anything to drink Natalie? We have water, orange juice, diet coke, orange soda.” “No thanks,” I said. Jason helped me with the first problem I missed while I was suspended last Friday. Then Jen told us she had an errand to run and she will be back before she has to take me home. She left and Jason and I stayed behind. After two problems Jason decided we should take a break. He took me to his room and showed me his drum set and he started to play. I looked at his room and it was disheveled. At least it wasn’t messy as Matthew’s. Then he put his sticks down and headed to the bathroom. I heard him taking a piss and toilet flushing and water running in the sink. I just felt my diaper getting wetter. I felt my diaper. At least I was wearing a potty which I don’t choose to use. Jason came back and played his drums some more. Then he wanted to show me his game on his Nintendo 64. He put it in and turned it on. I had never seen that game before and it was just a guy walking in the streets and shooting at people and blowing up buildings and it was all in 3D. I played too and I pretended all the bad guys were the Trunchbull. “Die Trunchbull,” I said. “No they are good people trying to stop us from destroying the community,” said Jason. “No I am pretending they are the teacher because I wish she would die.” “I know where she lives,” said Jason. “Where?” “About two miles away, she lives in a poopy green colored house, we can stop by there and check it out.” “We don’t even have time,” I said. “Maybe another time,” he said. Then we heard Jen come home. “Oh no, I lost track of time,” said Jason. He turned the game off and we heard Jen calling us. I went back to the dining room. “What were you guys doing?” she asked. “Playing a game in there,” I said. “You were supposed to be helping her with her math,” Jen scolded Jason. “I leave you two alone and I come home and see you were goofing off? Either I have to lock your door next time or stay here to babysit you, at least you weren’t sleeping together.” “Sorry Mom,” said Jason. “Well it’s nearly time for her to go home now, you barely have time to help her with another problem.” “She can stay longer if she wants to so she can finish the rest of her problems and she wouldn’t have to stay after school.” “Yeah yeah,” I said. Thank god it’s Friday. I don’t have to worry about coming home and then having to go to bed because I could just stay up and play my games or watch TV. “Call your mother and ask her first,” said Jen. She showed me where her phone is and it was in the dining room. I picked it up and dialed my number. I had to dial the area code first to dial my number but I got the answering machine. “Mom, can I stay longer to finish my homework so I won’t have to stay after school to catch up, please call me back at-what is your phone number?” I asked Jen. “I already gave it to her,” she said. “Never mind, you got it already,” I said in the phone. “Call me back if you say no and you want her to bring me home, bye.” I hung up. “She wasn’t home so I left her a message,” I said. “You can try again later, what if she doesn’t check her messages, then she may worry,” said Jen. “At least she knows I’m here and she will call you if she is so worried about me,” I said. I got back to work and Jason helped me more with the problems. Jen started to cook. “How does spaghetti and meatballs sound?” she asked. “Yummy,” said Jason. “Do you want any Natalie?” Jen asked. “Sure,” I said. I was starving, all this learning was making me hungrier and we have a late dinner. I learned in Health class last year it’s not good to eat past six PM and you are to have dinner before six because it helps with your metabolism. Jen turned the TV on. “Mom turn it down, I can’t hear myself talk,” said Jason. “I need to hear it,” said Jen. “Watch it after we are through.” “Move to my room or yours but no playing in there and I will check on you.” Jason kept trying to help me with the problem but he kept starting over and messing up. Jen was heating up some water on the stove and she had a box of spaghetti out and a can of tomato sauce. She did turn the TV down a little when she went in the living room. Jason worked more with me and then he said “Mom, the water is boiling.” Jen went in the kitchen and poured the whole box in there. Then she went back in the living room. She came back in the kitchen a couple times to check on the noodles and she told me to try calling my mom again. “I left her a message,” I said. “She might not check her messages and the last thing I need is getting into trouble for not brining you home on time.” “Just do it before you give her anxiety, I can’t stand it when she gets it and it will be your fault,” said Jason. That also sounded familiar. I got out of my chair and went to the phone but it rang before I could pick it up. Jen walked over and answered it. “Hello….yes…she decided to stay and finish her homework and I had her call you, did you get her message?....No?...I know she left it because I heard her leaving it, maybe she didn’t wait for the beep…..okay…..what time do you want me to bring her home?…. You don’t know? Well she decided to stay for dinner if that is alright with you…I’m here and I assure you there will be no sleeping around…I won’t leave them alone then….no my son isn’t some rapist, don’t you worry, he knows the rules about sleeping around, he is too young for that stuff.” “Mom,” said Jason. “I’m on the phone,” said Jen. Jason got out of his chair and told me to come with him. I followed him into his room. “Mom, so embarrassing,” he said. “What is she doing?” I asked. “She is embarrassing me, talking about that stuff in front of you.” “So,” I said. Jason played his drums again. He played a beat. I was bored. I looked at the Nintendo 64 games he had. I counted them and he had ten of them. He also had GoldenEye and lot of the games were games I didn’t know about and weren’t interested in. I decided I didn’t want to borrow any Nintendo 64 games from him except for the ones I don’t have and like which were Super Mario 64 and Gauntlet Legends. I have played Gauntlet online and on our old Nintendo and it was fun to play. I liked going around shooting at bad guys to get through the maze and you have so much health and you keep picking up food. “Natalie,” Jen called when she came in Jason’s room. “Your mother wants to talk to you.” I left and went to the phone and picked it up. “Hello?” “Don’t forget to change your diaper and check yourself, you wouldn’t want to leak over there on their floor and furniture,” said Mom. “No staying home alone with Jason.” “Why?” “Because you don’t know what he could do, he could force you to have sex. If he does, scream, fight him off, kick him in the balls.” “Okay,” I said. “Since you’re eating over there, I don’t need to save you some from dinner. Come home when you want to or when it gets to nine o clock unless they want to go to bed early, then you have to come home.” “Okay,” I said. Mom said a few more things and then I asked her if she ever checked the messages and she said she did and she didn’t see mine. I told her I left her one. “Maybe you didn’t wait long enough for it to record, you have to wait for it to beep,” said Mom. “But I did,” I said. “I wonder why it didn’t record.” “Maybe you think you waited long enough but didn’t,” said Mom. “But that’s why I called. Good thing she gave me her number or I would have been in trouble.” I imagined Mom having one of her breakdowns again because I was not home at a certain time but since she had the card Jen gave her, she called here instead. “I will see you tonight, bye,” said Mom. “Bye,” I said as I heard a click. Jason was back in the kitchen and we went back to my homework. Jen finished cooking the pasta and she drained it and asked if any of us wanted sauce. “I do,” I said. Jen got out a can opener and opened it and she told me I pour it on the noodles myself. Then she pulled meatballs out of the freezer. “Anyone want meatballs?” “Sure,” I said. “Heat them up in the microwave and put them on your plate.” Then she took out some sprinkled cheese and told Jason she had it out for him and she set it on the counter. Jen took out three plates and poured the pasta on each plate and told us to help ourselves. She fixed herself a plate and sat down in the living room and ate while watching TV. Jason and I helped ourselves to our food. I poured spaghetti sauce all over my pasta and heated up a few meatballs in the microwave. Then I stuck them on my pasta over the sauce. “Want some of this?” Jason asked shaking the container of sprinkled cheese. “Sure,” I said. He set it down next to me. I sprinkled some on and we sat down at the table and ate. I started to tell TGIF blonde jokes. “I have some blonde jokes,” I said. “A brunette walks into a blonde shoe store and she sees TGIF written inside the shoes. She says “The blondes must really like Friday’s and the sales clerk shakes his head and says ‘toes go in first.’ “Why do blondes have TGIF written on front of their shirts?” “No idea,” said Jason. “Tits go in front,” I said. Then I told the James Bond blonde joke Matthew made up. “James and the blonde are stuck on a train and they have three minutes to escape. The blonde wants to locate where Boris is so she gets on the computer and tries to get it to work but she can’t so she starts to pound on it and kick it and James yells at her to calm down and asks her why is she pounding on the TV set.” “And they explode,” said Jason. “What?” I asked. “They ran out of time so the train blew up with them in it because she wasted her time trying to get the TV to work which she thought was the computer and London got blown up and Boris won and so did Alec,” Jason explained. “Bad guys finally win for all and James failed his mission all because of the dumb blonde and him refusing to leave her behind.” I was glad there really was no dumb blonde on the train or my Dad’s hometown would have gotten blown up and his whole family there would have died. I told some more blonde jokes I learned online. One of them was about green side up and the other was about testing pads with wings and the other was about committing suicide and one of them was about the vending machine. “You told me some of those jokes already,” said Jason. “Why didn’t the blonde change her baby’s diaper for a month?” I said. “The package said it was good for a year. “Why did the blonde stare at the frozen can of orange juice? It said concentrate.” “Hey, how do you get a blonde to move out of first class?” Jen shouted from the living room. “Tell her first class isn’t going to Florida.” “One day the blonde has to go to the bathroom very bad so she rushes for the restroom and finds a toilet and goes and then leaves. Another kid walks in and shouts “Hey, why is my tuba wet?” I said. “You already told that one too,” said Jason. “What do you call a smart blonde?” Jen asked. “A Golden Retriever.” I did not get the joke and there are some blonde jokes I do not get. I told a blonde joke I didn’t get. “What did the blonde say after sex? Are you on my side?” Then Jen told some more blonde jokes. “Why aren't blondes good cattle herders? Because they can't keep their calves together. “Did you hear about the best blonde secretary? She never missed a period. “What do a blonde and your computer have in common? You don't know how much they mean to you until they go down on you. “Why do blondes wear panties? They make good ankle warmers “How does the blonde turn the light on after sex? She opens the car door.” I didn’t get any of them. I finished my dinner and licked my plate clean. I stuck it in the sink. “What does spaghetti and a blonde have in common?” Jennifer shouted again. “They both wriggle when you eat them.” Jason was done with his food too and he didn’t even eat all of it. We got back to my math. Jennifer told some more blonde jokes and Jason told her we were working now so stop doing blonde jokes. “There is more spaghetti in the sink if you want more,” said Jen. I was worried about my diaper leaking and Jason and Jen finding out. I kept feeling my butt for leaks. Then I decided to just change so I told Jason I was going to the bathroom. “Oh finally you’re going to the bathroom,” he said. “I was wondering what your potty schedule is like.” I got my backpack that was sitting by the front door. “What do you need that for?” Jason asked. “I just do,” I said. I headed to the bathroom and locked the door. I was glad it had a lock. I took my clothes off and socks and changed my wet diaper. Then I didn’t know what to do with it. I couldn’t throw it away in here or else they would know it’s mine and I am the only guest here. I just rolled it up and taped it shut and put it in my backpack. I put my clothes back on and my socks and flushed the toilet to make it sound like I used it and washed my hands. “What’s taking so long?” Jason asked. “Hold on,” I said. I finished washing my hands and dried them off and opened the door grabbing my backpack. “You took so long in there,” said Jason. “I had to poop,” I lied. “Doesn’t smell like you went.” “Poop doesn’t always smell,” I said. “How do you not make it smell?” “Take pills that remove the poo smell,” I said. “It keeps the bathroom from stinking up when you go.” “What pills?” “I don’t know what they are called but you can buy them somewhere and it keeps your poop from smelling and you never have to worry about stinking up any bathrooms ever again.” “Where can I buy them?” “At the pharmacy in Saltwater.” “Does it keep farts from smelling too?” “I don’t know,” I said. “If they do remove the smell too, I could fart all I want and no one will smell it,” said Jason. “Get to work kids,” said Jennifer. Jason helped me with the other math problems and Jen scooped the rest of the pasta in a container and put the meatballs away and the sauce. Jen cleaned up the kitchen. We got done and we played GoldenEye in his room. Then Jen came in his room again and said “It was so nice not hearing those drums all evening, maybe you should have a guest over more often.” “It was so nice not hearing any music all evening I don’t like,” said Jason. Jen left and I asked him what music does she listen to he doesn’t like and he said he can’t stand to hear Beethoven or Mozart and then she plays soft rock. He said he liked heavy metal music and his mom doesn’t like it. He says he has to use head phones to hear his music just to tune hers out because she won’t wear any and she tells him to wear earplugs but she won’t wear any herself. “What’s wrong with earplugs?” I asked. “I can hear myself breathing in them and my heart thumping and every step I take and movement I do,” said Jason. “Why won’t your mom wear any?” “She says she can’t hear her music with them in but I think she is a little deaf. She did suffer hearing loss when she was four from bad ear infections and then she had to have tubes put in to fix her hearing and I hear ear infections can damage your hearing.” “I also had tubes put I my ears when I was two because of ear infections I kept getting and I did go deaf but not long so it didn’t affect me too much. I hear hearing loss in toddler years is bad because then it messes up their development and gives them problems in the future,” I said. Jason kept on shooting at bad guys on the dam level and I was quoting Jimmy from A League of Their Own. “Hey you look like shit, don’t you ever shave” at the bad guys who had mustaches or beards. Jason was also blowing up boxes and barrels with his gun. I looked around his room seeing what stuff he had and what he had in his closet. He didn’t really have toys. “What happened to your toys?” I asked. “I have a few in my toy chest,” he said. I looked for the toy chest and he had stuff on top of it. Then Jason paused the game again to pee again. He came back and told me I must have a huge bladder if I can go hours without going and I only went once in his home and no wonder I have a potty schedule and if it took me two minutes to empty it all out when I went. “It was a long one,” I said. “How long, did you time it?” Jason asked. “No.” “It’s funny I didn’t hear you go. How many times a day do you go?” I counted in my head how many times a day I need to change my diaper including mornings. “Four,” I said. “Four?” Jason asked. “In the morning when I get up, twice in school and then again in the evening and then again at bed time,” I said. “That’s five.” “Okay, five,” I said. “Sometimes more if I have to go poop.” That would mean I go through five diapers a day and I would go through thirty five diapers a week and then another thirty five which would make seventy and then not even another week for them to last and I always went through two cases a month on diapers and I go through more diapers a day if I poop so it always varied. Jason still didn’t know about me wearing them. We talked as we played the same. I talked about the movie and James Bond and he talked about what he liked. Then we played Gauntlet Legends. It was all 3D and the graphics were a lot better. We both killed off enemies. “Help me Natalie, they’re killing me,” said Jason. I went over to the rescue and helped kill off the bad guys who surrounded Jason. I felt I never had this fun with someone my age in a real long time. I just needed to find someone who liked video games and listen to me talk what I like. But I couldn’t tell him about diaper wannabes and adult babies and diaper lovers. That was still too embarrassing. I hate having embarrassing interests. Then you can’t talk about it and you have to hide it. Jen also acted like a normal person but it felt like I was with someone my age instead of with an adult. I hadn’t felt this normal before I forgot how different I was. I pretended I was James Bond by fighting off enemies and killing them. I was being a hero in the game. “Bond, James Bond,” I said. “This isn’t James Bond,” said Jason. “I’m pretending to be,” I said. “Hey have you ever played The World is Not Enough?” I asked. “No, not yet,” said Jason. “The graphics are a lot better than GoldenEye and now they suck compared to the new game and the characters talk too and you can to multiplayer on one player. The computer just controls the other characters when you play.” Jason and I played longer and then Jen came in the room, “It’s time to take Natalie home. It’s getting late and her mom wants her back by nine.” I put the controller down and Jason kept on playing. I left his room and Jen came to the front door with me I put my coat and shoes on and grabbed my backpack. Then I started slushing. “Don’t forget your homework,” she said. I grabbed my math book and my binder and closed it and went to the front door. I was done slushing by then. I hoped no one could smell it and I was glad it happened when we were leaving. I would hate to change here and I wouldn’t want to ask Jen to change me. Then we saw Jason. “You coming?” Jen asked. “Uh sure,” he said. He put his shoes on and we headed out to her car. Jen unlocked her car and I got in the backseat. I sat in my mess and I felt it spread. Here I was sitting in a messy diaper and they didn’t even know it. No one said anything about the smell so I guess they didn’t smell it. “What is that smell?” Jason asked. Uh oh. “I don’t smell anything,” said Jen. Whew. “Neither do I,” I said. “Well something smells, did someone fart again?” Jason asked. “I didn’t,” said Jen. “Neither did I,” I said. “But something smells,” said Jason. “Maybe someone did a quiet fart” I suggested. “Maybe, who did that?” Jen asked. I couldn’t believe Jason could smell it and Jen and I couldn’t. “Did you not wipe your butt properly Natalie when you went?” Jason asked. “I used wet toilet paper to get it all off,” I said. No lie, I did use wet toilet paper to wipe my bottom since I didn’t have any wipes. “Mom, did you pooped today?” Jason asked. “Yes I did,” she said. “You didn’t wipe properly again,” he said. “God you smell like poo.” “You just have a good sense of smell Jason,” said Jen. I couldn’t believe my messy diaper caused this and Jen was getting the blame for not wiping her butt properly and good thing she pooped today. “Mom, you should take these pills Natalie takes so her poo won’t smell when she poops so she isn’t stinking up the bathroom” said Jason. “What are those pills?” Jen asked. “Just pills that remove the smell, can you show her Natalie when we get to your house so she can see what they are and start taking them,” said Jason. “Okay,” I said. I showed Jen the way to my house when we got to Saltwater. At least she knew how to get there and I just had to show her how to get to my home. “This is a nice neighborhood,” she said. Then we got to my house. “That is it,” I said. “You live in a house,” said Jason. “Show her the bottle.” “No that’s fine,” said Jen. “Then please wipe your butt and get all the poo off,” said Jason. “Use wet toilet paper or get baby wipes,” I said. “But I want to see them,” said Jason. He got out of the car when I did and we ran up to my house. I went inside. “Take your shoes off,” I told Jason. “My dad hates dirty shoes on his floors and he will get upset if he sees you with shoes on. Don’t get him upset, I don’t want to deal it or it will be your fault.” Jason took his off and so did I. “Hello?” Dad called. “Just me,” I said. “Natalie,” said Dad. He came in the hall and saw Jason. “Who’s that?” “Jason,” I said. “Did you get a boyfriend?” Dad asked. “No,” I said. “I’m teasing,” he said. I went to the kitchen and checked the messages for the one I left. “Natalie, what are you doing?” Dad asked. “I want to see if my message I left is here.” “I didn’t hear any messages by you,” said Dad. “Weird, I know I left it,” I said. “Natalie, are you going to show me?” Jason asked. “Show you what?” Dad asked. “My odor pills, he wants to take them to hide his farts,” I said. “No I don’t,” said Jason. “Natalie, those are expensive, you cannot share them with him,” said Dad. “He just wants to see them so he can see what they are,” I said. I took Jason upstairs to my room. I spotted two cloth diapers and plastic pants on my bed again so I quickly pulled the covers over them to hide them before Jason came in my room. I headed to my dresser and picked up the bottle, “Here they are,” I said. I showed them to him. He looked at it and read the name. “Nambre. Mint. Can I try one?” “My Dad says I can’t give them to you,” I said. “Just one.” “No,” I said. “Just one won’t make a difference,” said Jason. “Okay,” I said. “Just one.” Jason opened it and took out a pill and put it in his mouth. “Mmm this tastes sweet, I could have more.” “No,” I shouted grabbing them from him. I put the top back on. Then the doorbell rang. “That is probably my mom, she gets so impatient,” said Jason. “Gee this room smells too like the bathroom, open a window or something.” He looked at my room and said “What did you do to your walls?” “It was my brother’s room and I just moved in here and it had sports wallpaper and we took it down, we are pretty much done now,” I said. All the wallpaper was taken off now and all the furniture was still away from the walls. “Your parents let you draw on the walls?” Jason asked. “Just my mom because we are going to paint it anyway,” I said. Jason looked at the drawings. “You like capital punishment?” “What?” “The drawings, one is in the electric chair and the other is being hung and the other is being burned alive, geez all these are brutal.” “My mom did those, she was showing me what she used to draw of her brother when she was a kid.” “Why?” “Because he always got his way and my mom didn’t and things were easy for him and things were tough for her and they all had to do Groundhog Day and he got away with bad behavior and she didn’t.” “Why?” “Because he liked everything the same and would freak out if there was a change so everyone had to do the same thing every day and my mom didn’t like living that way so she was mean to him and had all these fantasies about him,” I said. “Jason,” Jen called from downstairs. “I did these of Mrs. Bitch,” I showed Jason my stick drawings. Jason saw them and said “Your mom’s are better, more detail.” “Jason,” Jen called again. “There’s no school tomorrow,” Jason shouted. “I want to go home, come now,” Jen called. Jason sighed. “Her and her damn routine.” “Jason,” Jen called again. Then Mom came in my room. “Your mom wants you, I can’t stand her shouting, get down there now,” said Mom. Jason left my room and so did Mom. “Jason,” Jen called again. “Coming,” Jason shouted back. “What took you so long,” I heard Jen saying. “You’re so impatient,” Jason whined. “You were taking too long, you have no reason to go slow.” I heard them leaving and none of them said bye. I looked at the time and saw it was way past my shower time but I remembered I couldn’t shower and I had a messy diaper to change out of. Great, another bad night I will have.
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Post by Bad Beth on Nov 23, 2013 17:19:21 GMT
Chapter 25
Mom came back in my room and checked my diaper while I was playing a video game. “You’re messy,” she said. “Did you wear this messy diaper at Jason’s?” “It happened when we were leaving,” I said. “And it didn’t bother you?” Mom asked. “No,” I said. “I notice now that you are taking those pills, you just stay messy in public now and it doesn’t bother you.” “So,” I said. “How can you stand sitting in it and having it around your bottom?” “I don’t know,” I said. “It doesn’t bother me anymore and I change it when I feel like it.” “Then you leak all over. Your father gave me a new rule and he said you are to go to your room every time you need changed so you are not allowed to leave this room until you do” said Mom. “Why?” I asked. “We’re sick of you being lazy and leaking all over. I hope your father doesn’t decide to take your pills away as an attempt to get you to change sooner and using it as an excuse to save money.” “Wait, what?” I asked. “You father thought if I changed you at awkward times and make it so annoying and making your brother and sister getting mad about it, you would start doing it on your own but it backfired. Why did I even think it would work, my mom spanking me or making me wear diapers didn’t stop me from wetting my pants because I still didn’t go to the bathroom soon enough. Now he thinks if you don’t want to change your diaper, you go to your room and not come out until you do, you will do it sooner.” I couldn’t believe how right Tazmania85 was. So this whole diaper changing thing was to get me to change sooner and no wonder Mom was waiting until dinner time to check me or before going somewhere or doing it early in the morning while I am still sleeping. “Did you get raped?” Mom asked. “What? No,” I said. “Good,” said Mom. “Did she leave you home alone with him?” “Yes.” “That’s the last time I ever let you at a guy’s house,” said Mom. “I told her I did not want you home alone with him and did she listen? No.” “That was before you called and he didn’t do anything to me except show me his drums and played a video game,” I cried. “Okay,” said Mom. “You were lucky.” “What is so wrong with me being home alone with someone my age?” I asked. “It’s because he is a guy and I don’t want him to rape you.” “He isn’t going to rape me,” I said. “He is being nice to you right and acting like your friend?” said Mom. “Yeah,” I said. “Has he said anything about your body like nice tits, nice ass, nice boobs, nice bottom?” “No,” I said. “Has he asked you to have sex yet?” “No,” I said. “Has he touched you in any wrong spots?” “No,” I said firmly. “Has he tried putting his hands inside your clothes or calling you any inappropriate names?” “No,” I said louder. “Geez what is wrong with you?” “I am just doing my job,” said Mom. “I have to make sure you aren’t with any dangerous guys.” “I’m fine,” I said. “I have to make sure,” said Mom. “Part of being a good parent is caring who your kids are with and if they are bad, then I have to make sure you aren’t with them and if they are good, I don’t have to worry about it.” “Are all moms this crazy about guys?” I asked. “I think so, I know mine was and I didn’t listen to her and it was a big mistake so I don’t want you making the same mistake as me and thank goodness he doesn’t live nearby because it will be a long walk for you to sneak out and go to him and you can’t drive yet.” “What was the mistake?” I asked. “Not listening to my mother of course and continuing seeing these guys from my school.” “Why was it a mistake?” I asked. “It just was,” Mom yelled. “Not something I want to talk about. It was a bad night for me so you have to be careful with guys. So who is this kid you’re with?” “His name is Jason and he is the one who wanted me to bring my games to school for him to borrow every week,” I said. “He is in some of my classes and he is three months younger than me and he had Mrs. Trunchbull but his mom took him out of that class, when am I getting out?” “That is what I was going to talk to you about,” said Mom. “I talked to the principal and she refuses to believe what the teacher is doing and told me it’s just all lies and rumors kids are doing and you got caught in it and I told her about the problems you have been having at home and how you wouldn’t tell me about her and I saw your drawings on the wall about it and your anger you have about her and wishing her dead and wanting bad things to happen to her and how you usually give in to everything because you don’t want to lose video games or computer and TV and you sacrificed that instead over keeping quiet about the teacher and it was hell for three days for the whole family and how can you be acting that way if it’s all lies? She’s a dumb blonde Natalie and I demanded they move you to a different class and she said it might not be done since the other class is full. How are the other teachers? Are thy any good? How do they treat other kids?” “They’re all fine except her,” I said. “But she is fun now.” “What?” Mom asked. “I found out she has no power to send kids away and that boy named John never went to jail and his parents took him out of that school because they felt that school wasn’t a good place for him to be because of his violence and lot of kids were afraid of him and all the other kids who had disappeared after trying to get out of her class were taken out by their parents so I am not afraid of her, she can’t tell personal things about me without my permission, she can’t send me somewhere, all the kids were wrong and she lied to them. Once she sees she can’t control me, she might just quit. I refuse to be a zombie in her class and being all stressed out trying to be perfect for her and having my body itch and ache because I can’t move it, and anything I do isn’t good enough and whenever she makes fun of me, I do the opposite and today in school she tried to keep me after class and started calling me a slacker so I slid under her and escaped and then she gave herself a bruise on her arm and told Mrs. Peggy I did it and she figured I was not aware I did it because in the past I have done things I was not aware of. Then after she left class, Mrs. Bitch told me I didn’t give her that bruise and I am to not mess with her and the principal will just think I am not aware of what I do so she will just believe her instead of me. But she gets mad when I cooperate and listen and look forward to seeing her tomorrow or next week or say ‘okay’ when she threatens me.” “So you wouldn’t mind having her as a teacher now?” Mom asked. “No, what can she do? Kill me? Other kids are still afraid of her and I am the only one who keeps pissing her off on accident and now I don’t care anymore. Maybe once they all find out she can’t share their personal information or send them somewhere else, maybe they will start being themselves more and be out of control she might quit her job once she sees she can’t control anyone.” I also told Mom how Mrs. Trunchbull threatened another teacher by saying she will ruin his career if he kept complaining about her and how his students were acting different when they had her and would have problems in their other classes too because of her but when I told the principal that and then she asked him about it, he lied saying he never told me such thing and now Mrs. Peggy thinks I made it up and I bet the teacher lied just to avoid getting into trouble by Mrs. Trunchbull. “I’m glad you’re happy now,” said Mom. “But I still don’t think she should still be teaching there even if you are teasing her, or doing things to make her mad or giving her a hard time having it all be a playground for you. I’m going to see what I can do.” Mom had a look on her face and it wasn’t a good look. I then thought “uh oh, I just gave Mrs. Trunchbull more trouble” but I didn’t care. I notice I did not have my other cloth diapers yet so I asked Mom where they were and she told me she got the wrong ones and Dad was mad at her about it so that was what the shouting was about last night so they are going back tomorrow to exchange them for the right ones so I am still stuck with two. Then Mom told me that bad news again Chris was coming over again tomorrow. I sighed. “I know you don’t like him,” said Mom. “But please try and be nice to him.” “How often is he going to keep coming here?” I asked. “I don’t know,” said Mom. “I wish Matthew would dump him soon or can I spend my day at the library again while he is here?” I asked. “Sure you can,” said Mom. “Or you can go to Allie’s house.” “What?’ I asked. “Allie called saying she wanted you over there this weekend and you were not here so I told her you were not home and I will give you the message. I was a bit upset because she waited until the last day to call about it but teens, they just can’t plan ahead so they do whatever comes to their heads. Brian was the same way, he would want to go to town and do this or do that and come home and then want to go back to town again for something else and he was using so much gas, Dad told him he pays his own now if he is going to be using our car that often and it sure taught him about the cost of gas and how to think ahead. But it gave him more freedom too even though he had to pay for it. So it’s up to you, if you want to go over there, you can go with us when we return the diapers and then drop you off, Dad will love it because then it will save on gas.” “When is internet and cable going to get cancelled?” I asked. “I don’t know yet,” said Mom. “I just hope he has calmed down and will change his mind, especially if I get a job.” “I hope you get a job, I would miss cable and internet,” I said. Then Dad came in my room and knocked on my door frame. “Knock knock,” he said. “I hear you two having a wonderful time. I bet that makes Kelly jealous.” “I heard that,” Kelly called. Dad had a pop in his hand this time. It used to be a beer bottle but ever since Mom stated dumping it last month, he stopped walking around with it in his hand and started going to his coworker’s house for beer and then to the bar and then he was sneaking it here and now he can’t have none. Dad took a sip from his can. I felt my diaper getting flooded and it felt uncomfortable now. I felt the front get all wet from the pee. Dad started to tell Mom about his plans for tomorrow about what time they will leave. “If Natalie wants to go to Allie’s house, can she come with us?” Mom asked. “Well if she wants to go over there, I will have to call them to let them know and then change the time we are leaving.” “Why did you have to get in that damn can wreck,” said Mom. “Anita, don’t start this again,” said Dad. “Well what time are we leaving?” Mom cried. “If you’re changing it, I don’t know anymore.” “I would call them now but it’s late.” “It’s the weekend, I am sure they are still up since we all are,” I said. “What if they are sleeping, I would hate to wake them up,” said Dad. “Can we just go at the time we planned and then drop her off when they want her there,” said Mom. “And waste gas?” said Dad. “I can’t handle this,” Mom cried and stormed out. Dad sighed. “Her and her damn need for prediction.” Then Kelly came in and started to complain. “It’s not fair, why can Mom talk to Natalie like normal but whenever I try and talk to her, it’s always a fight and she doesn’t say anything back and it’s always one sided?” “I don’t know,” said Dad. Kelly whined some more about Mom and he told her she has her girlfriends to talk to and their moms, she can borrow theirs. “Why do I need to be the one with a mother who can’t be like other moms?” Kelly cried. “It’s the way life is,” said Dad. “Would you rather we put you up for an adoption when you were little?” “I bet I would have loved that,” said Kelly. “And what if the family was worse?” Dad asked. “The parents could have been drug addicts and neglectful or abusive, they could be dysfunctional you end up raising your siblings.” “What if it was a better family and I actually had a mother I could talk to like any other kids my age, a mother who gets me and can actually listen and share what I say instead of having me talk at them like they are a wall.” “It still isn’t too late to live with another family,” said Dad. Kelly grunted. “I know it’s tough, you’re at an age now where things are tough and you will get over it. Even Mum knows it’s tough for you and you’re at that age so she isn’t taking it all too personal how you’re acting even though it’s hard for her too despite what you wrote.” I grabbed my diaper and plastic pants and brought them to the bathroom. I took my clothes off and stepped in the tub and took off my messy diaper. It was disgusting how it looked and the mess had spread to the back from sitting in it and some was in the middle and front. I wouldn’t want to wear it again even though I just had it on. I set it on the rug and rinsed myself off in the tub and washed myself. Then I noticed I left traces of poo. I put my cloth diaper on and plastic pants and started to clean it up. It was all disgusting I had to clean it. Then Kelly knocked on the door and I let her in. She saw me in my diaper only and I didn’t care. She has seen me in them a lot over the years since I started wearing them again. She went to the bathroom as I was cleaning the tub and I heard her pee. “I can’t believe I have to clean my own shit from the tub, it’s so gross,” I said. “Now you know how I feel,” said Kelly on the toilet. “What?” I asked. “I always had to step around it and make sure I didn’t step in it whenever I showered and I would try and wash it down the drain before getting in,” said Kelly. “You think it’s gross touching your own, try imagining touching other peoples and see how you would feel about it.” I didn’t say anything else and then Kelly said “Aren’t you ever grossed out washing the mess off your bottom and having messy diapers so why is it gross cleaning it out of the tub?” “I got used to it,” I said. “You will get used to cleaning it out of the tub too,” said Kelly. “You’re not grossed out cleaning out the litter box are you or picking up dog poo?” “I don’t even have to touch it,” I said. “I don’t see how it’s any different to wash your poop out of the tub.” I wiped the poop out and threw it in the trash since Kelly was on the toilet. “Do you ever hate stopping what you are doing just to go pee or poop?” I asked. “Sometimes,” said Kelly. “Do you ever wish you can wear a diaper or pee in a bottle or something?” “That is so gross, I wouldn’t want to pee all over myself and get all messy and I don’t know how you can live with it. I have long ways a way to worry about having to wear them again.” I knew she meant when she is old and loses bladder control. “I just hold it when I have to go,” said Kelly. “What’s it like holding it?” I asked. “I don’t know, it just feels I have to go and I hold it.” “What does it feel like?” “Like I have to go, I don’t know how to describe it. You went to the bathroom like everyone else, don’t you remember what it’s like?” “No,” I said. Then I said “Now you know why I don’t change right away when I need to, I don’t like stopping what I am doing to change just like you don’t like stopping to take a potty break.” “I still don’t see how you can stand sitting in your mess and your pee,” said Kelly. “You get used to it,” I said. “Then pretty soon it doesn’t bother you anymore and it’s not so disgusting and you don’t feel so dirty anymore and you feel dirty if you don’t have one on.” “But you leak so isn’t that dirty?” “I guess but I got used to it and I change my clothes.” “But not your bed,” Kelly pointed out. “I forget and I got used to it too.” “If you take better care of yourself, no one will think you are disgusting. It’s not your incontinence why kids think you’re gross, it’s how you handle it.” “I was called gross since I started wearing them again and everyone was changing me, our mom and dad, Brian, the school nurse, anyone who was watching us,” I said. “Back then you were crying about being wet or messy and would keep on screaming until you got changed and that all changed and now it’s even worse.” I ignored Kelly being on the potty. I finished cleaning up the tub and I brushed my teeth and gave myself a sponge bath and tried shaving again. Kelly wiped herself and flushed the toilet. Then Matthew came in and I turned my back so he couldn’t see my boobs. “Can’t you knock,” I yelled. “I gotta pee,” he said. “Go downstairs,” I said. “Dad is in there.” “Go in Mom and Dad’s,” I said. “It stinks in there.” “Hold it,” I said. “I really gotta go,” Matthew cried again. “Go outside like Skippy,” I said. Matthew was grabbing his crotch pounding his feet on the floor and I had my boobs covered with my arms. Kelly pushed Matthew out of the bathroom and locked the door. “He always has excuses,” said Kelly. “This time it’s the bathroom smelling so he won’t use it.” “It really does smell,” I said. “Ask him why or go in there and see for yourself.” I couldn’t tell her why so if she asks Matthew herself, then he can tell her or see for herself when she looks in there and discovers wet diapers that are not mine. Then all her kids will now know about her solution. I wonder if she will ever wear underwear again. I finished up and I hoped I would feel better but I didn’t. I still felt uncomfortable and I was bleeding again from shaving. I put my bra back on and picked up my messy diaper and took it out to the garage. Matthew was no longer standing by the door. I didn’t want my bedroom smelling like the bathroom so I took it to the garage and threw it away out there with my other dirty diapers. I saw another bag in there and I could tell they were not my diapers because they weren’t the same color as mine. Instead the bag was white and I thought I saw blue lines in it. I looked inside it and they were other adult diapers and they were white and they were wet because the lines were blue and some were purple, the kind I had worn for a few days last month. None of them were rolled up and they were all just tossed in there and I saw all the pee and blood and the outside was dark color from the pee. It was all gross to see and it all stunk from all the pee and my poo and Mom’s period. It didn’t even look like she had one accident in them. I wondered if Mom had really stopped using the bathroom but none of them looked messy but I saw her go to the bathroom at the mall and she had nothing with her. I put the lid back on the trash can and went back inside. I washed my hands in the sink and went back upstairs and got my pajamas on. I opened my bottle again and took my pill and I saw I was nearly out of them. I went downstairs and checked my other pills and saw I had two left in there and I took my other pills. I wondered how much I had left in my school. I found Dad in his bedroom. “I am almost out of these,” I said showing him them. “Okay, we’ll get more tomorrow then, first thing in the morning. I’ll tell your mom that,” he was sighing. Dad was acting like this was all a nuisance for him. I wish I wasn’t a lot of work for my parents. “Dad, when you were little, was your mom crazy about girls like Mom is about guys?” I asked. “They were crazy about your mother,” said Dad. “Told me I could find someone better.” “Were they that way about your old girlfriend?” “They didn’t know about her. We were only together for a month before she dumped me and she never came over.” “Why?” “I don’t know. She never wanted to come over, she was weird and had excuses and she never wanted me at her house either so I never got to meet her family.” “Were your parents crazy about your brother’s girlfriends or girls they would be with?” “Not like they were about your mother,” said Dad. “What were they like?” I asked. “Did they say she was going to rape you?” “No no nothing like that, they just said she would ruin my life and I would practically be raising her and would I want kids with this woman and I would get tired of her and she would just be another kid in the family and they were not real nice to her so I told them either they be nice to her or I am gone.” “Is that why we live here and not in England?” I asked. “Part of it, that’s why it didn’t work out over there. They were condescending towards her and kept talking to her like this,” Glen said in a real sweet voice. “Calling her names like sweetie, hun like she is some child and she didn’t like it.” “What’s wrong with sweetie and hun?” I asked. “The way they did it, it was condescending and talking down to her, they acted like she was stupid and retarded and slow and your mother tried to get along with them but all they did was kept putting her down about every fault she had and they would claim they were just trying to teach her and for god’s sake she was an adult, not a child and they were not her fricken doctor, she was family. They went from not being nice to being condescending towards her and changing their tone of voice to like this,” Dad said again a real sweet voice. “They just wouldn’t accept her and when I told them that, they said they were just trying to help her so she will be a better person and then your mother didn’t want to be around them anymore and she got homesick and missed her family here so she decided to come back home and I went with her.” “What’s wrong with trying to help her?” I asked. “I would want to be a better person too.” “Natalie, if all you hear is negative talk and being told whatever you do is wrong and being told you’re rude or arrogant or stuck up, you’re going to feel like crap, same as if people think getting mad at you for anything you do will help because they think you will stop doing it but it doesn’t work. People think if they shame you or put you down, you will change and that is what my family was doing at first until I told them to stop it and then they went into doing it the other way acting all nice about it but they were treating her like she was slow and like she was a child and it didn’t make your mother feel any better. Instead she just got frustrated and felt she can never do anything right and please them and she can’t stop disappointing them, anything she did was wrong and they wanted her to be like them so they pushed their own son and their own grandkids away. If they would have just accepted her instead of trying to change her, we may have still been living there and had the rest of you kids there.” “And I wouldn’t have been incontinent,” I said. “My parents have always been weird about people who were different. When I was a kid, we had this boy that lived in my neighborhood. He didn’t know how to play with other kids, he said things that were mean, he was inflexible with playing with others, you couldn’t even talk to him and he only wanted to talk about what he wanted to talk about and he would ignore everything you would say and you could not get him to shut up. He didn’t like being touched and always screamed when you did, he always wore the same clothes and didn’t understand rules. He didn’t seem to understand anything that was said to him and my parents didn’t want my brothers and I near him and I couldn’t stand him anyway so I never wanted to play with him. They had me believing being different was bad and all different people are bad. Then I met your mother and I didn’t want to be near her or want anything to do with her until I took the bets. Then I changed.” “Is it normal for moms to be weird about guys like Mom is?” I asked. “Probably. I know your grandparents were weird about me and tried to keep your mum away from me but when they tried hard, all she did was rebelled and would sneak out and Grandma Del would try and get me to not want to be around her by telling me stories about her like she wets the bed, she wets her pants, and having me seeing her in her nappies, tell me she will embarrass me, but she was so protective of her it was like she didn’t want her to have a friend and didn’t want her to have any men.” “Was it because she was friends with these guys and then something bad happened?” I asked. “No, they were trying to keep me away from her before that happened,” said Dad. “What was the bad thing that happened?” I asked. “Did she tell you?” “No, she wouldn’t tell me.” “I can’t tell you either then.” “Why?” I asked. “Because if she doesn’t want you to know, then she doesn’t want anyone to know.” “Why doesn’t she want anyone to know?” I asked. “It’s complicated and I don’t know how to explain it.” “What bad thing would she not want anyone to know? Did she kill someone?” I asked. “No no no, nothing like that.” “So why the big secret?” “That’s her decision,” said Dad. I hated not knowing things. What bad thing was Mom talking about? She said she made a mistake going with guys and something bad happened. “I can’t stand Mom being a worrywart about Jason,” I said. “She thinks he is going to hurt me or something.” “She is just trying to look after you like all moms do,” said Dad. “Lot of teens feel that way when their parents do that.” “Do what?” I asked. “Doing what she is doing, he is a guy, you don’t know what they can do to you. Lot of women get raped and no one tries teaching their sons to not rape so when your brother was your age, you mum was telling him how not to rape a girl and it drove him crazy.” “Why?” “Because he was a teen. All teens get frustrated and find their parents annoying and think they are stupid and don’t listen and teens want to be the boss and think they are right and think they know everything. Think of the terrible twos, there is such thing as the terrible teens. Kids at that age want independence and everyone goes through it regardless of what condition they have.” “Even retarded people?” I asked. “Yes.” “But why do men need to be taught to not rape, I mean it’s wrong to make someone have sex so how can someone not know that if they are told it or read about it?” I said. “I don’t know,” said Dad. “I was never taught to not do it and I still knew to not do it.” “Are men really that stupid they wouldn’t know rape is wrong?” I asked. “I think they just don’t care,” said Dad. “They are given excuses so they think it’s okay to do it.” “Why?” “I don’t know, that’s why it’s stupid. A woman decides to take a short cut through a park and there is some man there and he sees her and decides to have sex with her so he grabs her and takes her somewhere and forces her to have sex and they say it’s the lady’s fault because she shouldn’t have walked through the park all by herself at in the middle of the night so therefore she was looking for sex.” “That sounds stupid,” I said. “It is,” said Dad. “That just sends a message to other men out there it’s okay to have sex with a woman and force it on her so do you see why your mother would be teaching Brian all this about rape?” “Yes,” I said. “Pretty soon she will be teaching it to Matthew too and Mum is teaching you now how not to be a rape victim and she will be teaching Kelly that too. I know she can go a little overboard but she does it because she loves you and doesn’t want you to get hurt.” “But can she at least not be so worried or she will mind as well not let me have any boyfriends or friends who are guys or going over to their houses and I never get married,” I said. “You will get married soon,” said Dad. “How do you know?” “Your mum still got married.” “She had to rebel, I would basically have to do the same if she does what her mom did,” I said. “I’ll tell you what, if you find the right guy and your mum feels comfortable with him and trusts him, you will be fine,” said Dad. “But it may take a while.” “I hope she won’t scare any guys off because they couldn’t stand my mom being a worrywart and treating them like they are going to hurt me.” “If it’s the right guy, he won’t run off,” said Dad. “But Grandma Del didn’t trust you when you met Mom,” I said. “She was over protective and a weird woman too and I stuck around so I was the right guy for her. Besides some parents are way over protective of their kids who are different and your mum was naïve and very trusting and they just wanted to protect her but they acted all wrong about it and there is such thing as being too protective because then it just causes them to rebel like your mum did and they fought.” “Was Mom weird about Kate?” “No, not really.” “Why?” “Because she was nice and easy to get along with. But Mum told Brian to not rape her and treat her good and respect her and her body and Kate just laughed because she had never seen a parent tell their sons that about women and she said the world needs more mums out there to tell their sons that and to teach them respect about women and rape is never an excuse.” “Why was she laughing?” “Because she had never met anyone who teaches their sons how to respect women and not rape them.” “But I don’t see how it’s so funny,” I said. “It wasn’t, it was just-never mind, I don’t know how to explain it. It’s complicated. People don’t just laugh because something is funny, they laugh for different reasons because they are embarrassment or shocked, or thought something was cute.” “I don’t get it,” I said. “I don’t know any more if someone is laughing because they think it’s funny.” “Your mum doesn’t either and she used to get upset if anyone laughed because she would think they were all laughing at her so I had to try hard to not laugh, especially when she would be funny and now she is over that and doesn’t think about why people are laughing. Now I don’t have to worry about laughing and she learned to laugh with us.” I decided I wanted to go over to Allie’s just to get away from Chris and Matthew never said anything about not being able to leave to ditch him and I wouldn’t have to worry about him. “I want to go to Allie’s,” I said. “Okay, I will call first thing in the morning around ten.”
* * *
I woke up the next day in my soaking wet diaper. Mom didn’t come in my room this morning to change me. The diaper was real uncomfortable. I got out of bed and went to Mom and Dad’s room. Mom was still sleeping but Dad was up because his side of the bed was empty unless he slept somewhere else. I did hear them fighting again last night and it was about today. I looked in their bathroom and there was no smell but the window was still open and I saw nothing in the shower. I also heard it was raining outside. I closed the bathroom doors and went looking for my diapers. I really needed to change and all my disposables were gone. I looked under the bed and looked in drawers and then in the dresser and found the purple diapers. Why does Mom get those and I don’t? I also saw her underwear and socks. Then I heard Mom waking up. “What are you doing in here?” she asked. “Looking for my diapers,” I said. “I’m very wet and I don’t have any more clean ones and you guys took my disposables.” Mom got out of bed and she felt her spot as she got up. “Okay leave the room so I can get one for you, I can’t have you see where we keep them.” I heard a crinkling sound as she started walking. I left the room and she closed the door. I stood and waited and then the door opened and Mom was holding my disposable diaper. I took it from her and went to the bathroom. I took off my pajamas and pulled down my plastic pants and took off my wet diaper. I noticed my wipes were gone too so I had to use a wet rag and wipe my bottom and then a dry one to dry it and toss it in the dirty pile. Even my diapers were gone in here. I put my diaper on and my pajamas and took my wet one and plastic pants to the laundry room. I dumped them in the sink with the other one. Today I will have a good night’s sleep because I will have my shower. I was getting some breakfast when Dad walked in the door with Skippy. He had some rain on him. He was taking off his shoes. “Did you take another day off or is it your day off?” I asked. “I have weekends off now,” said Dad. “My boss finally decided he was over working me and now I don’t have to worry about how to get to work on a suspended license or looking to apply for an ignition interlock device.” “What’s that?” I asked. “Ignition interlock device? It’s something they put in your car when you have been charged with a DUI and your mum will love those things and bet she wouldn’t have to worry about me drinking and driving ever again and she will let me drive.” “What does it do?” “From what was explained to me in court, it’s a thing you breath into and it starts your car if you have no alcohol in your breath. It’s something drunk drivers can apply for when they lose their licenses and it keeps them from driving drunk.” “They should put them in all cars so there will be no more drunk drivers on the road,” I said. “That will be expensive, you have to pay for it every month and it costs money to install it.” “No, all cars would have them and car companies would put them in it would be part of the car and you wouldn’t have to pay for it every month. That will keep drunk drivers off the road.” I liked this idea better than throwing them all in jail for the rest of their lives. If all cars had them, then no one would be able to drive drunk. “That is clever, now write a letter to all the car companies and the DMVs,” said Dad. “How do I do that?” I asked. “I don’t know, if you can figure it out, you can do it. It’s just a suggestion.” Dad took Skippy off his leash and hung it up. He closed the laundry room door locking him in there and went upstairs. I ate my food and watched TV with Matthew. It was Saturday Morning shows on ABC. Then Dad came down with a plastic Fred Meyer’s bag and he had something in it. He took it to the garage and came back inside. He picked up the phone and made a phone call. “Hey this is Glen calling, I am just wondering if there is a right time for dropping Natalie off?...oh, you’re home all day…Great. I will let her know then….Oh my wife wants to know the timetable, always wants things planned and she was having anxiety about it last night because she didn’t know when we would be dropping her off and when we will be leaving because we have other things we need to do and we only have one car and she is the only one who can drive and she was upset about it…yes they did for six months….I see what you mean. Does Allie need a timetable for when to drop her off?...Oh good. I would have been in trouble if she needed one. What time shall Natalie be picked up? Oh you can take her home? That is great, now I won’t have to worry.” Dad talked a little more and then he said bye and hung up. I was anxious to hear the news. “Okay I have today’s schedule worked out to satisfy your mother,” said Dad. “We will leave at eleven to pick up your pills, then go to get the right nappies, and then drop you off at Allie’s. Now I need to tell your mother the plan.” “You’re going to Allie’s?” Matthew asked. “Yeah,” I said. “Remember our deal?” “I can go to Allie’s if I want, that wasn’t in the deal.” “You’re just going over there to avoid my friend.” “I have every right to go to a friend’s house, free country. It’s not mean.” “You always find ways to break the rules or our deal,” said Matthew. “Next time say I can’t go to a friend’s house when Chris comes over,” I said. “You never go to a friend’s house so how was I supposed to know to add it?” “Lesson learned. I am not breaking any rules.”
Soon Dad shouted at me to get ready to leave. Pepper Ann was about over. What I like about her is she is so clumsy and takes things literal and is so naive she reminds me of me and she also gets so obsessed but she is always late to Science for no reason and I have never been late to my classes for no reason. I think it would be great to roller blade to school like she does but I live too far away and no way I am getting up early just to roller blade to my old school or doing it in cold weather or the rain. Pepper Ann lives where it’s always sunny and doesn’t live far from school. But this episode I was seeing was different because Pepper Ann was all grown up in her twenties and she works with developing video games, something Brian wants to do. Then she finds out her old class is having a reunion and doesn’t want to go and then she does. I don’t think I would want to go to my school reunion because why would I want to go and see my old bullies and kids who didn’t like me? Even my parents don’t go to their school reunions nor have they kept in touch with any of their old school mates. It was a shame Pepper Ann lost in touch with her friends.
When the show ended, I got dressed for the day. I also got my backpack and realized I still had my diapers in there. Doh, I could have taken one out instead of looking in my parents room but I needed my wipes. I remembered to knock on Mom and Dad’s door. “What?” Dad asked. “I need my wipes,” I said. “What for?” “For when I need to change or do I need to use wet toilet paper or towels?” I asked. I heard Dad walking around in there and then he opened the door and handed me the tub of wipes. I took them and brought them to my room and put them in the bag. I counted how many diapers I had and I had seven. I used up twelve in five days but some of them were stolen was why. One a day was taken so that was three I lost. I wonder how the person reacted when they saw no more of my diapers were there. I wonder if they started taking the other ones? I also decided to bring some extra pants so I took a pair. I couldn’t fit them in my backpack so I kept them on top. I also grabbed my Mario Party 2 game and stuck it in my backpack and grabbed an extra controller.
At eleven we left. Dad made me grab some food along for in case I get hungry because he didn’t want to buy any food. I didn’t know what to grab so he grabbed an apple for me and a pack of yogurt. He also put the bread on the counter for me and grabbed some ham and turkey and told me to make myself a sand which. I just stuck one each on the sandwich and put it in a bagey. “Here, want a Pop Tart?” Dad asked taking out a box from the pantry. He took a pack out and put the box back and put it with my food. Then he took out a plastic bag from a store and told me to put my food in it and let’s go. I put it all in and went out to the car. Mom and Dad left Matthew and Kelly home alone again as always. Dad told them we will try and be back by two and let Chris’s Mom know that when she comes. Mom drove to the Saltwater Medical Supply shop. Dad went inside while I just waited in the car with Mom. Dad came back out with no bag in his hand. He got in the car. “They were out,” he said. “I guess everyone wanted them.” “Great, now everyone will find out I wear diapers,” I said. “Natalie, if you mess yourself, just go to the bathroom and get cleaned up,” said Dad. “Maybe you won’t stay in your mess then.” “But they will smell it and might know it’s me,” I cried. “They are going to find out anyway. You can’t hide it forever. People will always know. If you spend the rest of your life trying to hide it, you will find yourself not being able to live a normal life and being all stressed out about how to keep it hidden it will be like you have let them overruled you and control your life instead of you taking control of it.” “When will they get more?” Mom asked. “They said sometime next week,” said Dad. I felt panic and I pictured myself messing in the lunch room again and I smell and have no way out because it’s either I leave my food and not finish eating or stay in the mess and have everyone around me smell it and find out. I pictured myself being in class or group therapy and I mess myself and it smells and I would have to ask to be excused and everyone would know it was me. I just had to hope it wouldn’t happen in class and it happens between classes. I had only two days of school and then I will be out of school and no one will find out and I hoped I would have more by Monday since tomorrow is next week. I was unhappy and upset on the way to the other store that sold cloth diapers. I couldn’t stop shaking my legs and moving my body. When we got to the store, Dad took all the diapers inside and the plastic pants. Luckily I still had my pills for today so I wouldn’t smell but everyone in Allie’s family already knows I wear them so it wouldn’t be too embarrassing if I slush myself. I wasn’t sure how long Dad was gone for but he came out with bags in his hand. He put them in the back and got in and said “Thank god I got some money back because they are different priced.” Then we went to Allie’s next. Mom got lost on the way because of a different route so Dad had to help her and Mom had her breakdown due to being lost so we had to pull over. I waited and waited and Mom wouldn’t calm down. “Just let me drive,” said Dad. “No,” Mom screamed. “Your license is suspended and I am not having you going to jail.” “I don’t want to be stuck here,” Dad yelled. I tried to keep calm and not let stress get bigger and bigger but it did and I felt like screaming so I started crying instead. I was scared we were never going to leave or go to Allie’s and we would be were all day long until evening. I kicked the seat and Dad yelled at me to stop it. Mom hit her head against the steering wheel and hit her head and I banged my head against the window. “You’re both having a temper tantrum like a three year old,” Dad shouted. Then finally he picked up his cell phone. “Looks like I won’t be cancelling this service because it’s definitely not a luxury.” I saw him brought it to his ear and then he said “Brian, do you know the way to the Mophie’s house?....What?” Then he stepped out of the car and closed the car door. He talked on the phone and then he hung up and got back in. “Okay, he said just get on 205 but we’re going to go on I-5 since we’re closer and then we’re going to get on highway 14 and then get off and then go to her house and I will lead you the way,” Dad told Mom. Mom didn’t calm down right away but when she did a few minutes later, she got back on the road and Dad lead her to the freeway. She got on it when we got there and we drove until we were at the green steel bridge that goes across the Columbia River into Oregon and Mom turned onto the highway going east. Soon she got off when Dad told her to and we went north again. I looked at all the buildings and houses as we drove by. I even saw the neighborhood where I got my Game Boy and there was a gas station and a Blockbuster around and Hi School Pharmacy and other stores. Then he said, “Okay, I know where we are now.” “Me too,” said Mom. “I hate going somewhere from another way, it confuses me.” Dad told Mom to turn right at the stop light. We drove by all the houses and some buildings and we were out in the country side.
When we arrived at Allie’s I got out of the car with my backpack and pants. Mom reminded me to change my diaper so I won’t leak and Dad reminded me to knock first but I rang the doorbell instead because it’s louder. Their doorbell sounded like loud chimes. Allie’s older brother Sam answered it. I stepped inside. I noticed Mom was behind me. Denise came in the hallway. I saw her walk by me and she headed out the door after Mom who had walked away. “Hey,” said Denise. I took off my coat and shoes and Allie came down the stairs. “You’re here finally,” she said happily. “Let’s play some Nintendo 64,” I said. “I brought a game with.” “Not James Bond, we already have that game and you have talked about it to death.” “No I brought Mario Party 2,” I said. “Good, we already have the first one.” I took my game and controller out. “I brought an extra controller with for if your little brother and sister want to play and Sam.” We both went upstairs to the rec room. I put the game in and turned it on. I asked Allie if she wanted to continue the game I saved and she said she wanted to start a new one so we did. We picked Horror Land and I selected Peach again while Allie selected Yoshi. I picked DK as a COM player and Allie picked Wario as one too. We decided to play with a bonus and do twenty turns and started the game. Then her mother came in the room. “Natalie, don’t forget to change. Your mother told me you haven’t done it since you got up so you better do it because I don’t want you leaking on my furniture or on my rug.” It felt funny being reminded by someone else’s mother to go change. Denise left the room and Allie and I kept playing. After we all had our turn, a mini game started. It was Archer-ival. I was it and I had to shoot at the signs including at my rivals who were the signs. I got Boo first, Koopa, and Toad first and then went after my rivals. I got Allie and her character screamed. “That stupid Donkey Kong wouldn’t let me move,” Allie said. I got DK next and then got Wario and I won the mini game and got all sixteen coins. “Natalie, your diaper,” said Allie. “Oh yeah, I forgot,” I said. “Do you really need to be reminded to go change?” Allie asked. “Yes,” I said. “Do teachers remind you at school?” “No.” “So how do you remember to do it?” “I have a schedule.” I felt for leaks and felt none. “What time is it?” I asked. “I don’t know, we don’t have a clock in here. But I can turn on the TV and look at the pay per view channel to see the time.” Allie turned the TV on and turned to channel four and looked at the time. It’s two forty. “I better change,” I said. I paused the game and went downstairs. I got my back pack and took it to the bathroom. It only had the sink and toilet and a place where hand towels were kept and wash cloths. I took off my pants and socks and changed out of my wet diaper. I wiped my bottom and put a clean one on and put my pants back on. Since everyone in this house knew I wore diapers, I tossed it in the wastebasket in the bathroom rolling it up and taping it. I washed my hands and brought my backpack upstairs with me. I went back to playing. We talked as we played and I talked about James Bond again. “Not again,” said Allie. “What’s wrong with James Bond and GoldenEye?” I asked. “Nothing, you talk about it too much.” “So, you always talk about A League of Their Own I hear, do you still?” I asked. “Mom won’t let me,” she said. “Why?” “She is tired of hearing the movie.” I tried to talk about something else but I was back at James Bond again. “I want to play some GoldenEye after this game,” I said. “Don’t you have it at home?” “Yes.” “So why do you want to play it here instead of at home?” “Because you have it so I didn’t need to bring mine.” The next mini game came on and it was Move to the Music. Wario was it and he had to dance and the rest of us copies his movies. I watched what he did looking at what buttons to push and then we had to move to his dance moves. I did my part and I was the only one left on the stage dancing. I had to copy all of Wario’s moves and we won the mini game. “You did it,” said Allie. “Piece of cake,” I said. Then Allie paused the game and said she will be right back. “Where are you going?” I asked. “Potty,” she said. I waited for her. I decided to take my odor pill again so I took my bottle out and opened it and took my pill and I had three left in the bottle. Allie was sure taking too long to go. Maybe she was taking a dump. I kept on waiting and then she came back in when I was about to get up to look for her. “Did you go poopy?” I asked. “No,” she said. “You sure took too long, what took you too long?” “I peed.” “It doesn’t take you that long to pee.” “I wasn’t gone that long.” Allie unpaused the game. “Not long as you were when you were changing.” Then Allie’s little brother and another kid came up the stairs and saw us playing. “Oh, they have it,” he said. “Too bad we don’t have another controller, then you two could play,” said Allie. “Where did you get that game?” Jake asked. “It’s mine,” I said. They watched us play for a bit and then they left. “Do you like wearing diapers?” Allie asked. “Uh yeah,” I said answering her strange question. “Do you like wearing pads?” “Not really.” “Why not?” I said. “I hate getting my period.” “But you don’t like wearing pads? They keep you protected from the blood,” I said. “I still get blood on my panties and clothes and it gets all over it’s gross, why don’t they just make ones that go on like a diaper.” “I heard they used to do that, they went on like undergarments,” I said. “And they got rid of those and we have to wear pads now? That’s so gay.” “You use that word too.” “What? Gay?” “Yeah.” “Kids used it at school.” “Why do kids keeping saying that word?” I asked. “What does it have to do with gay people?” “It’s a figure of speech, it means it’s stupid, it doesn’t mean gay people. Gay also means happy so there.” We were playing a mini game again and everyone had to hit the block to get one or two items from the tree. We all had to try and avoid getting any honeycombs with bees in it or else we’re out of the game. DK was next and he should have hit two but instead he hit one and I said he was gay. I hit one and got Wario out. Then Allie was next and she hit two and I hit two to get DK out. Then it was us two and we both knew to get each other out because none of us was gay. Allie got two and I looked to see if I could still win and I had ten seconds to hit the block. If I got two, Allie could hit one and I’m out or if I hit one and then Allie hit two, I could still get out so I hit one hoping she will be gay. Allie wasn’t gay and she hit two and I was forced to hit the block and I got out and she won the mini game. It felt weird using the word gay for stupid. I have never used another word to mean it except idiot and dumb. “Why do you like wearing diapers?” Allie asked. “Because they keep my pants dry and keep the mess in when I have accidents,” I said. “Do you like being incontinent?” “No,” I said. “Why?” “It’s annoying. You always have to carry diapers with you and have people find out always, then I always have to figure out how to dispose the diaper if I am at someone’s house and always having to find a restroom to change in and if I get stuck anywhere, I am screwed because if I run out of diapers, I am stuck in the same one and then I am leaking all over and when I get diaper rashes, I can’t air my bottom out or I will get pee or poop all over and I hate sitting on the toilet just to air out and when I change, I have to always hope I won’t pee before I put a diaper on.” “But at least you get to wear diapers,” said Allie. “Why?” I asked. Allie didn’t answer right away and she was saying “uhh” and then she said, “Because then at least you don’t have to wet your pants or have messy ones.” “What is it like having bladder control and bowel control?” I asked. “Like I can hold it until I go to the bathroom,” said Allie. “What does it feel like when you hold it?” “Like I have to go.” “What does your bladder feel like when you have to go, what is the feeling?” “Just a pee feeling of a full bladder and when I have to go poop, I feel it in my stomach. What is it like not having control?” “Like I have my period,” I said. “I have no way of feeling it coming and I can’t stop it when it comes. I wonder how incontinent people lived back in the days before there were plastic pants and disposables. I bet they always got their pants wet from their diapers.” “Or they lived their life in the outhouse,” said Allie. “Or they just pissed themselves all over the village. I would hate being incontinent back in the days. Especially with cloth.” “I thought you still don’t like it.” “I don’t. I would just hate it more in the days and would probably kill myself. Hey wait, it wouldn’t have happened because there were no cars back then so I would still have control.” “Unless you get in a wagon accident.” “I doubt I would be hurt,” I said. “If a wheel breaks, the whole thing goes down and they didn’t even go fast. Cars go fast so they crash more and people get hurt in them or die.” After we finished the game, my tummy was growling for food and I didn’t even bring my food with because I forgot it in the car. “You’re hungry?” said Allie. “I’m starving,” I said. “So am I, let’s eat.” We waited until we got our bonuses and all our money being put in the bank. Then Allie turned it off and we went downstairs. I saw another bathroom they had which was next to the laundry room. They had like five toilets in this house. One on the master bedroom, two in the upstairs hallway, one in hallway where the family room and kitchen is and the other one right by the laundry room. We went in the kitchen and Allie opened the fridge. She took out a Kool Aid squeeze bottles and asked me if I wanted one. “Sure,” I said. Allie tossed it to me and she grabbed another one out of there. I saw Jim was sitting in the family room watching TV and sipping a pop. I saw Denise come in the kitchen. “You hungry girls?” she asked. “Yes,” Allie and I said. “You changed Natalie?” “Yes,” I said. “We have pizzas, pasta, we have Tap Ramen, we have pizza pockets.” “You have a lot of food,” I said. “Teenagers do eat a lot because they are very active and growing so they burn up a lot of energy,” said Denise. “Sam likes to snack all the time and on the past I have had to put locks on the fridge and cupboards to keep his friends out because I got tired of them stealing our food.” Denise set the frozen foods on the counter and I picked pasta, they were pillow noodles I called them and they have cheese in them. I pointed to it and told her I would take it. Allie picked the same and Denise cooked us it but she had to wait for the water to boil first. I drank my Kool Aid and looked for the trash can. I tossed it in the powder room and went back upstairs. I played GoldenEye. Allie just got on the computer in the other room which was a bedroom but they used it as a computer room. I did the Train level and played Agent mode. I love using the RC-90 gun. Soon Denise called us down through the intercom they have on their walls in each room. I always thought those things were neat and wished we had one, now I don’t care anymore, same as for those build in home vacuums and you just empty the bag out in the garage when it’s full and connect the vacuum hose to the wall when you vacuum. I also thought laundry chutes were cool too and would toss things down it and now I don’t care anymore and don’t wish anymore we had one. I went downstairs to the kitchen. Denise had the pasta in each bowl for us and there was more than two. I also saw Jake and his friend and there was Amber. They had come down too. “Noodles noodles noodles,” said Amber excitedly. “Which one is mine?” I asked. “Either one,” Denise replied. I picked up the right bowl and started taking it upstairs with me but she told me “no food up there, eat it in the kitchen.” Then Allie came down too. I was already eating mine when Denise asked us if we wanted any parmesan cheese. “What is that?” I asked. Denise showed me holding a container up. Allie took it from her and put it on her pasta and sat down. I saw what it was so I got up and put some on too and sat down again. Now I know what that kind of cheese is called, the one you sprinkle on. Jake grabbed it after I put it down and sprinkled it on and he did a whole lot. Then Amber put some on. We were all eating when Denise said “I don’t get a thank you?” “Thank you,” said Allie. “Yeah thanks,” I said copying her. “Thanks,” said the other kids. “I cook for you kids and I shouldn’t have to complain to have you thank me,” said Denise. I finished up my pasta and put the bowl in the sink to be nice. Then Denise came out of the powder room with the wastebasket. “Natalie, please come here.” I came up to her and she said to me quietly, “Please don’t throw away your incontinent products in our house, please do it outside in the garage where the outside trash goes. It stinks up our whole bathroom.” “Sorry,” I said. “It’s okay, I am not mad. I just don’t want you throwing them away in our home. You shouldn’t throw them away in other people’s homes. It’s not polite. I will show you where the outside trash is so you will know next time to throw it away.” I followed her to the laundry room and she took me out to the garage. She had five rows of trash cans and she opened one of them up and she emptied the wastebasket in there. Then she put the lid back on and took the wastebasket back inside. I noticed it looked like my diaper had been opened and messed with so I assumed Denise must have looked at it. Why would she want to open my used diaper and peek inside it? I wonder if she was just curios what it looked like how I used to be curious when babies would get their diapers changed and I would want to see their used diaper. I could remember my Mom not letting me open Kelly’s dirty diaper when she would be changing her and she would tell me it’s dirty and don’t touch it and say “Yuck Natalie.” But yet I never looked in the trash for dirty diapers and open them to see and I rarely did that if I saw one in plain sight. I never thought I would be wearing them again and then I didn’t know I would be wearing them for the rest of my life. I went back up to the rec room. I went back to playing GoldenEye. “What is it like wearing a diaper?” Allie asked when she came in the room again. “Why are you so interested in me wearing them?” I asked. “I’m just curious. What is it like wearing one? How does it feel?” “How does wearing underwear feel?” I asked. “Like I’m wearing underwear,” she said. “Same with a diaper, it feels like I am wearing one,” I said. “But is it uncomfortable?” “No they feel fine,” I said. “Not too bulky anymore and I’m used to the thickness around my bottom and sitting in it. It feels normal. I prefer thicker diapers than skinny ones.” “Why?” “They keep me more protected even if it means having a fat butt. I have tried on a thicker kind and liked those too but they make my butt look bigger and they are loud when I walk but it allowed me to stay in it longer.” “What do thick diapers feel like?” “Thick,” I said. “Is it comfortable?” “Yes.” “Have you peed yet?” I was embarrassed by that question. “Don’t ask me that,” I said. “Why?” “Because it’s embarrassing me.” “Why? I am not embarrassed about peeing in the potty.” “Everyone pees in the potty, not in diapers,” I said. “Would you stop wearing diapers if you could have control again over your poop and pee?” “Yes,” I said. “Why?” “It will make my life easier and no more embarrassments.” “But don’t you like how you don’t have to take a potty break?” “It doesn’t make a difference,” I said. “I take a changing break. I think pooping and peeing in a potty is easier than doing it in diapers. It’s quicker and cleaner to clean up and less smelly.” No one had ever been interested in my medical condition except kids used to ask me in school if I pooped myself or peed and it was always embarrassing and saying I pooped my diapers whenever someone farted but they were just being mean and some boys in fourth grade would say the health room was my bathroom because that was where I got my diaper changed while everyone else went to the restrooms while I had to go to the health room. Now I go to the restroom like everyone else and I bet that was a shock to my old school mates and few of them would try and block me going in there but I would always shove through them and knock them over and fight them. I was taller than lot of girls in my school and some are my height or a little taller but most guys were taller than me because they all grew and caught up to me and passed my height. “But at least you don’t have to go every time you need to go,” said Allie. “I feel nothing when I gotta go and I feel it happening and that’s it. Then I have to go change when it gets messy or too wet.” “I always hold it because I hate taking a potty break. It’s so annoying to have to find a restroom to go when we are out or having to run all the way inside to go so my brother made a little outhouse. Sam does woodworking in school and he built it and we dug a hold first in the ground. But Mom hates it because she says it’s unsanitary and wants it ripped down.” “Why did she let him build it?” I asked. “She didn’t know about it, he said he was building a shed and he built it behind her back and she got mad when she found out what it was.” “How did she find out?” “Just by looking at it. I’ll show you what he did, come on.” I paused the game and Allie and I went outside. I had my shoes on and she took me to the backyard. It was getting close to dark. She took me to the trees that looked like a forest. They had a nice play fort out here and part of it was built in a tree and they had a big swing set made out of wood. Allie showed me the outhouse. It looked like a tin shed. I opened it and it had a bench built in there and it had a hole in it where the butt goes and I saw a roll of toilet paper sitting right by it. “When did he make this?” I asked. “Last month. He got grounded for it too and now she is making him do community service.” I thought Denise was being silly. Lot of places have outhouses like campgrounds. I remember I loved going in outhouses. I even used to pee in my playhouse and it always gave me an excited feeling to go outdoors. Then I couldn’t enjoy it anymore when I had to wear diapers again. “What is so wrong with having this?” I said. “At least no one would have to run inside to go and not worry about getting the floors all dirty or having to take your shoes off.” “It’s unsanitary.” “But campgrounds use them.” “Grownups are weird.” “Is your Mom’s true hair color blonde?” “No it’s light brown.” “She is sure acting like one,” I said. Allie laughed. I headed back inside and so did Allie. I saw Denise again when we were going upstairs. “That is a neat outhouse out there Sam built, now no one has to run inside to go and get your floors all dirty,” I said. “It’s disgusting and unsanitary I don’t want it in my yard,” she said. “But campgrounds have them.” “I don’t care. My oldest son disobeyed me and now he is grounded.” “Allie said he was doing community service,” I pointed out. “Same thing. Hey I have a meeting to go to so be good and Jim will be here.” “Where are you going?” Allie asked. “To Hazel Dell to meet a client. Personal stuff so I can’t really give you much information,” said Denise. “Okay,” said Allie. “Denise, I am going to see some friends and watch a game,” said Jim when he came in the room. “No, you have to stay here with the kids, I am going to meet a client,” said Denise. “Oh shute, I planned for this weekend, you didn’t tell me you had a meeting to go to?” said Jim not raising his voice. “This just happened so I am afraid you’re going to have to cancel out.” “I can just take them with me,” said Jim. “We have two kids here that are not ours, no.” “We can get their parents’ permission.” “No, you stay here with the kids or take them home,” said Denise. “All right,” said Jim and walked away. I was surprised there wasn’t even a fight. Mom and Dad always fight when something unexpected happens and then plans have to change but with Jim and Denise, it only lasted a few seconds and there wasn’t even a fight about it. “I can baby sit,” I said. “No,” said Denise. “You were invited here to play, not baby sit and I feel Allie isn’t mature enough to watch these kids and it wouldn’t be fair to put the responsibility on Sam and I don’t know how your parents or Wayne’s parents would feel if I left them here without an adult.” “Why not just call our parents and ask for permission,” I suggested. “I just feel it would be irresponsible.” Denise wasn’t making any sense. I also felt confused what was going on. I just went upstairs and went back to playing not knowing how much longer I will be here. I bet Denise just didn’t want me to baby sit and she didn’t want us going anywhere with Jim so she refuses to call our parents and she made excuses to keep saying no. Why couldn’t she just be honest? I was playing the Statue level shooting at all the bad guys when Allie told me we were all taking off soon and asked me if I wanted to go to the mall with them. “I thought Denise said no,” I said. “She left, Jim is in charge and he told me you have to call your parents first for permission.” Then she left. I kept on playing. Then I heard my name being called again. “What?” I shouted. “We’re leaving,” I heard Allie say. I turned the game off and grabbed my Mario Party 2 game and put it in my back pack. I turned the TV off and went downstairs. “Turn off all the lights kids,” said Jim. “Natalie, did you ever call your mom and dad and ask them if you can come with us?” “No,” I said. “Do it now before we leave.” I went to their phone in the kitchen and dialed my number. My Dad picked it up. “Evans.” I don’t know why Dad answers the phone like that. Everyone else say ‘Hello,’ even Mom. “Dad, Denise had a meeting with someone and Jim is going somewhere and he is taking us all with him so I am asking if I could go too.” “Where are you going?” Dad asked. “To the mall.” “Vancouver Mall?” I couldn’t understand why he was asking a dumb question. What other malls are there in the city? “Are there any other malls in town?” I asked. “Let me talk to him,” said Dad. “Hold on,” I put the receiver down and got Jim. He went to the phone and talked. I waited with the other kids in the entry way but Sam was not around. He would probably come down later. Jake was on the banister sliding down it. Mom and Dad don’t even allow Matthew, Kelly or I on it at home because then it loosens it. Amber went out to the garage to wait in the car. I could hear Jim talking on the phone but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. Then Jim hung up and told us all to get in the car. I followed Allie to the garage. I had my backpack and pants with me. “So what did my Dad say?” I asked Jim. Jim smiled. “He said yes and said you’re fifteen so that is old enough to go to a mall by yourself and you know to not go with any strangers or to even leave the place until I come back.” I was so happy. I have never been to a mall by myself. We all got in the minivan Amber was waiting in. I noticed Sam wasn’t even with us. “Where’s Sam?” I asked. “He’s not coming,” said Jim. “Natalie and Wayne, you have everything?” Jim asked. “I am taking you home after this.” “Yes,” I said. Wayne got out of the car. “I need to get my toys I brought here.” Jim went inside with him and we all waited and then they came back out with his bag of toys. They got back in and we left. Jim dropped Wayne off at his house on the way and I guess his parents didn’t want him coming so they said to bring him home. Jake said by to him and Jim waited for Wayne to go in his house before taking off again. I thought we were going to Vancouver Mall but instead Jim went another direction. He went south instead of north. “Hey where are we going?” I asked. “My friends live down in Portland and I am going to their house to watch a game and you and Allie are going to Clackamas Town center since it’s the closest,” said Jim. “What about Amber and Jake?” “They’re coming with me, I don’t want them running around the mall by themselves.” “We can watch them,” I said. “No, it will be too much work, you two have fun and it won’t be fun if you have two little kids to watch and they might get tired. Besides they will have fun at their house.” “I’m not little,” said Amber. “You look like a little kid to us,” I said. “You guys look old to me,” said Amber. I remember when I was ten, I thought thirteen and fifteen were old, I don’t mean old like an old person, I mean old like an adult even though I knew they were still kids. Even when I was six I thought nine and ten was old, a big kid but now they look like little kids to me and nine and ten is still young. I bet when I am twenty I will think fifteen is a little kid and young. Now I think twelve is a little kid and Kelly is a little kid but she acts older than me and is almost tall as me. We crossed the river and I saw they were putting in a new set of train tracks between the freeway where the grass is. Jake said something about it and Jim said they were putting in a new light rail that will go out to the airport so people could ride there instead of taking the cab or diving and paying to park their car there. I couldn’t imagine carrying all the luggage on the train and then having it all in the aisle or on the seats and then having to take it all off the train. Soon we got off at an exit and I saw the mall was right next to the freeway. I don’t think I have ever been here before. Jim pulled onto the road and then turned into the mall parking lot. I saw they had JC penny, Meier & Frank, and Montgomery Ward. Jim dropped Allie and me off at one of the entrances. “You have money?” Jim asked us. “No,” I said. “I have a little bit,” said Allie. Jim took out his wallet and handed us forty bucks. “Here is some spending money, buy food if you get hungry, or go see a movie.” I took the money and Allie took hers. “Have fun girls and I will come get you around eight or I will just meet you somewhere. How about right by the ice skating rink.” “Okay,” said Allie. “You parents must be rich if he gave us big bucks,” I said after Jim took off. “No he just carries big dollars in his wallet,” said Allie. “My dad never does that unless he took it out of the machine,” I said. We walked through the store and then we were out in the mall. The mall had an eighties look on the outside and inside the floors were all white in the mall and the railings were all black medal with a brown banister on top that was pointed down instead of flat. The ceiling had a bunch of skylights and the ceiling was curved with lights on them. “God there is lot of people,” said Allie. “And it’s noisy.” I could hear music playing and some kids screaming and a baby crying and people talking. “Have you ever been here?” I asked Allie. “What? I can’t hear you.” “Have. You. Ever. Been Here?” I asked louder and slower in her left ear. “Plenty of times,” said Allie. “I have never been here,” I said. We walked and looked in a store. Music was playing in the store and then it ended and a new song came on. It was some woman singing and I didn’t really pay attention to the lyrics. Then Allie said. “They’re already playing Christmas music and Thanksgiving hasn’t even come yet.” Then I noticed the song that was playing was a Christmas song. “…I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need, and I don’t care about the presents…” “Why are they playing it so soon?” I asked. “I don’t know,” said Allie. I decided to ask a store employee why they were playing holiday music before Thanksgiving. I walked up to the checkout counter and asked the cashier why Christmas music was playing. “It’s getting close to the holiday,” she said. “But it’s not even Thanksgiving yet,” I said. “So, we can start the holiday sooner can we?” I also noticed the mall already had up their Christmas stuff hanging from the ceiling. They were lights hanging down and reefs and garland. Allie and I walked by the other stores and we looked in The Disney Store and I saw the huge screen in the back was advertising a new upcoming Disney animated movie. I saw they had 102 Dalmatians merchandise and the clothes in kid sizes. Why couldn’t they have any in grownup sizes? Luckily the store was not playing any Christmas music but they already had out some Christmas merchandise. I spotted a Disney Adventures magazine. It had 102 Dalmatians on it. I picked it up and looked inside it. It had the names of each puppy and a animate map of London and it showed landmarks like where the De Vil mansion is and where the puppet theater is and where Chloe’s apartment is and 2nd Chance Dog Shelter and where probation office is and it showed some famous London landmarks like Trafalgar Square, Big Ben, Hyde Park, the Tower of London, St. Paul’s Cathedral and it also showed Paris in the smaller picture in the top corner of the London map. I turned to the next page and read the 102 Dalmatians comic. Then I looked through the rest of the magazine. Lot of it advertised new video games and some new movies released to video and some new computer games. The back of the magazine had comics and I looked at the Disney calendar and saw Vertical Limit was going to be released next month. I would have to see what it’s about when I get home. I know it has Chris O’ Donnell in it and Izabella Scorupco and Bill Paxton. “You ready yet?” Allie asked. I jumped because she had said it so quickly. “No,” I said. “I’m bored, hurry up,” she said. “Be patient,” I said. “Buy the book.” I didn’t listen, I kept looking at the calendar. “Are you ready yet?” Allie asked again. “Hold on,” I said. Allie walked around and kept asking me if I was ready. It was making me feel tense inside and I was starting to feel stressed out and I could feel the bitch coming. I got bitchy with her back and after I was done, I angrily put the magazine back and left. We kept on walking and we saw the ice skating rink and the food court. Allie and I went up to the second level and Allie decided to see what movies were playing at the theater. There was nothing I wanted to see except 102 Dalmatians but it hadn’t been released yet but I saw Rugrats in Paris the Movie was playing. “Ooo let’s see that,” said Allie pointing to the 102 Dalmatians movie poster. “Uh Allie, look at the date,” I pointed to the bottom. Allie saw it and said, “Oh shucks. Nothing I want to see then.” “What about Rugrats?” I asked. “Is it playing?” “Yes,” I said. “It’s passed the release date.” I looked at the times of the movies starting. “Hey the movie starts in an hour,” I said to Allie. “How much are the tickets?” I looked at the ticket prices and told her. We were considered adults since we were over the age of eleven. I saw two different ticket prices for adults, one was for matinee and the other was not for matinee. “Hey is Rugrats playing?” Allie asked. “Yes it is,” said the lady behind the ticket booth. “Oooo let’s see it,” said Allie. “Which time?” the ticket lady asked. Allie was full of energy the whole time and she was acting excited as we talked. It was making me feeling anxious inside. She even did a little dance with her legs. We picked the earliest time. We had to pay full price because it was past matinee time. We waited in line and I saw the movie theater employee handing the Rugrats To Paris Passports to the children in front of us. I had heard of the sweepstakes and I wondered how old I had to be to enter it. When our turn came, we got our tickets and put them in our pockets. “Uh how old do you need to be to be in that sweepstakes contest?” I asked pointing to the fake passports. “I don’t know. It’s for kids,” she said. “We’re kids.” The lady picked up two passports and handed them to us under the ticket window. I picked the first one up and put it in my backpack. Allie took her and stuffed it in her pocket. We left the theater. I opened my backpack again and looked at my passport at the sweepstakes rules. I wanted to see if I was young enough to be in the contest. It said the kid had to be between the ages of five and fifteen. I was on fifteen, not between it and the cutoff date was January 15th and my birthday is the following month so I still made the date. I wondered if I could still be in the contest since I was fifteen, not between five and fifteen. I also needed to collect four stamps for the book and the movie ticket counted as a stamp so I only needed three now. “I have to pee,” said Allie in a dramatic voice. “Do you have to say it like that,” I said. “Sorry, I have to pee,” she said quieter. “Can you hold it?” I asked. I didn’t even want to look for the restrooms, I just wanted to look around. “I am not wearing a bathroom so I can’t go in my pants like you can, I have to go,” said Allie. So we had to look for the restrooms. “Can we just walk and hope we find some?” I said. “I have to pee,” Allie said again. “I thought you said you always hold it because you hate taking potty breaks,” I said. “I can go if I want,” said Allie defensively. “But you said you always hold it,” I pointed out. “I am not wearing a diaper so I can’t go like you can unless you want to hand me one of your diapers so I won’t have to take another potty break.” “You lied,” I said. “Natalie, I just have to pee, what is wrong with me going?” “I don’t want to go looking for the restrooms just so you can go,” I said. “You’re being so selfish,” she cried dramatically. “I have to pee.” I had never seen anyone acting that way about going to the bathroom like they are some little kid. We were walking through the food court when I saw the signs for the restroom. “There are the restrooms,” I pointed to the sign. “Yay now I won’t have to pee my pants,” Allie said in a dramatic tone. “Do you really have to go that bad? My mom doesn’t act that way when she has to go.” “I’m not your mother,” said Allie. We kept walking and Allie was saying “Pee. Pee. Pee.” I felt like she was jumping around. When we got to the restrooms, I was so glad because the it meant she would stop acting this way driving me crazy. I stood outside with my arms folded. I watched people walking in and out of the restrooms including mothers with their strollers. Then Allie came back out. Finally. We walked around the mall some more. None of us had a watch so we had to just ask for the time. I saw Sears at the other end of the mall and there was a children’s play area on the first level in front of the store and it was a huge opened lunch box with food around it. Kids were playing on it and sliding down on the lid. “There used to be an awesome toy there to play on and they took it out and replaced it with that gay lunch box,” said Allie. “Why?” I shouted in her ear so she could hear me. “I don’t know. They just took it out.” “When?” “Fifth grade I think.” “What used to be there?” I asked. “A ship and it was so awesome to play on and they took it out and made it boring now. I guess they wanted to keep the big kids out.” “Why?” “I don’t know. You would have to ask the mall.” I pictured myself being outside looking at the mall and asking why the ship was taken out as if it could talk and the building actually responded back to me and it had a mouth and eyes. I also noticed KB Toys on the front level and there were escalators right across from Sears so I went to it and went down them. Allie followed after me after I said “Ooo KB Toys, I wanna go there.” I went into the store when I got down there and looked around. They had video games and Barbies and games and Legos, Knex, action figures, Polly Pockets, toddler toys, dolls, puzzles. I was more interested in the video games and they didn’t have any Sega games nor Super Nintendo. I thought about buying a video game with the money Jim gave me but I didn’t want to spend thirty bucks on a Game Boy game and I didn’t have fifty bucks. I counted my money and saw I didn’t have enough anyway except for games that cost twenty bucks. Maybe later I might if I do decide. I saw a woman with a watch and asked her what time it was. She looked at it and told me. I still had a half hour. “C’mon, let’s leave,” said Allie grabbing me. I pulled away. We left the store and walked by the other stores. Allie kept talking and pointing to the stores and she acted so hyper. “Will you calm down, you’re making me anxious,” I said. “Sorry,” she kept saying but then she would just do it again. “Oh let’s go in here,” she said walking into some clothing store. “No we have to get to the movie soon,” I said. “Just a quick peek,” she said. I asked a guy for the time again and he said it was six o’ two. We had a little bit of time. Allie walked around and I followed her and she kept touching the fabric. “Are you done yet?” I asked. “Be patient,” she said. “You said you were going to be quick.” “We just got here.” I tried to be patient by waiting for her and she kept looking at some outfits and some underwear and looked at a bra. I walked around the store while waiting. I went back and asked Allie if she is done yet and I’m bored. “Hold on,” she said. “But the movie is starting soon and I don’t want to be late,” I said. “They have previews.” “But what if we don’t five two empty seats together? What if the theater is packed?” I asked. “Chill will you.” That made me angry. “You would rather not sit together?” I said. “You worry too much.” “You’re so annoying,” I said back. “If I would have known it would be this hard being with you at the mall, I would have gone home instead.” Allie groaned. “Fine. You’re so impatient.” “So are you, Disney Store remember,” I pointed out. “Whatever.” We left and Allie complained about me rushing her. I complained back about her rushing me at The Disney Store. We made it back to the food court and we went up to the second level and went to the theater. We got in line and handed the guy out tickets and he ripped them and gave the other half back to us. “I want to get some candy and popcorn,” I said. “See why I wanted to leave?” “Why didn’t you say so?’ Allie asked. “You don’t get candy and food at the theater?” I asked. “I do.” “So I didn’t need to tell you then.” Allie was being a dumb blonde. “I can’t read your mind.” “You’re being a dumb blonde, everyone would know you have to be back early to wait in line and get some candy and popcorn and a drink,” I said. “Gee excuse me.” We waited in line and Allie and I argued about what size to get and she decided on a package to save money. I wanted to buy my own thing. “We can share,” said Allie. “We can each have our own straw.” “I don’t want a drink you want if it’s not what I want,” I said. “Then what pop do you want?” “Diet,” I said. “I hate diet, it tastes too bland. How about a 7 Up?” “I don’t know,” I said. “They have Sprite, Mr. Pibb, lemonade, orange soda, regular Coca Cola, Dr. Pepper.” “How about lemonade,” I said. “They have two different kinds, they have strawberry and lemon.” “Strawberry,” I said. “No I want lemon,” said Allie. “I will just get my own and you get your own,” I said. “Okay stubborn.” When our turn came, I told the lady what drink I wanted and what sized popcorn and what candy I wanted. She told me the total and I gave her the money and she handed me back change. Then Allie as next and she ordered what she wanted and we found our theater and went in it. The previews hadn’t started yet. “See we’re not late and you worry about nothing,” said Allie. We found two empty seats and sat down. Then I got up again to go to the bathroom. “I’m going to the bathroom to change so I won’t have to do it during the movie,” I said. I headed to the restrooms and went in the handicapped stall. I took off my shoes and socks and pants and threw them aside. I opened my backpack and took out my wipes and a diaper but I saw I only had four left now. I should have six left and now five but it’s four now. I had seven in my backpack when I checked and then I had six left when I changed. Then it dawned on me who the diaper thief was. I remembered Allie being so interested in my medical condition and wondering where I kept them and then saying “So that is where you keep them” and then a diaper disappears from my backpack at her house. Allie was the diaper wannabe. I was mad. I was never leaving my backpack alone around her ever again. I wonder how she even got one out of my room when she was with me the whole time. I changed and put the clean diaper on and put my pants back on and my socks and shoes. I threw the diaper away when I left the stall. I had it hidden behind my backpack and I tossed it in the trash when I got to it and then I washed my hands. I felt used. I wonder if Allie was my friend just so she could have access to my diapers and if she invited me over so she could get one of my diapers since she couldn’t get any anymore at school. I was going to tell her what I knew. I went back to the auditorium and sat back down. “You could have just worn the bathroom before we left,” I said. “I don’t have any,” said Allie. “Yes you do, you took one from here,” I pointed to my backpack. “No I didn’t, what are you talking about?” Allie asked. “Cut the crap,” I said. “I had seven, then six, and I should have five left but I don’t. I have four now. I know it was you. So that’s why you invited me. So you can get one of them.” “No,” said Allie. “You’re the diaper wannabe,” I said quieter. “I’m mad. I thought we were friends.” “We are friends.” “You just want me for the diapers,” I said. “No I don’t.” “Well you won’t be getting anymore from me because I will keep this with me all the time and never leave it alone at your house ever again and I don’t keep any disposables in my room anymore because my parents keep them somewhere now so you have no way of stealing them. Let’s see if you still want me around. You could have just not taken one from here and I would have never known.” The lights started to dim and previews started. At least Allie knows now what diapers feel like and how it feels to pee in one so I don’t even need to answer any of her diaper questions anymore. I wondered if Allie was a diaper lover but why would she have been mean to me about me wearing them when she first found out. That made no sense. Allie and I bickered while the previews played and then someone behind us hushed at us. “They are just previews, who needs to hear them,” said Allie. “Quiet,” the other person said sitting next to the husher. “Geez, said Allie facing forward again. We didn’t fight any more about her taking my diapers. I still felt used by her and she only wanted to be my friend just so she can get my diapers and wear them. If I didn’t wear them, I bet she wouldn’t have cared to be my friend and not be my friend. Now I just had to wait for the movie to get over and Jim getting us. I was never going to let her steal from me again.
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