Post by Bad Beth on Dec 29, 2017 9:44:58 GMT
Chapter 12
The next day the jeep was completely gone. It was not in the neighborhood and it was not at school. I was hoping this was all in my head and I was never being followed and watched in the first place. I was starting to imagine what that man would want with me. What if he was someone from work and he hated my father so he was going to use me to get back at him? I imagined him taking me and keeping me for ransom until my Dad quits or gives him money. I imagined the police looking for me and trying to solve the crime. Then it's all in the news and in the paper and even kids from my old school and here know about it.
What if the man was Dad's boss or someone he hired and he takes me and keeps me in his home and only way my parents would get me back is if he quits?
I couldn't stop thinking about this. I thought about it all morning long and then my desk started to rumble and my chair too and it felt like everything was vibrating and shaking and I heard a sound like something was turned on.
"Hey who is moving my chair and my desk?" said a boy.
"Not I," said another boy.
"Mine is moving too," said another girl.
"Mine is moving also," I said.
I thought this was all in my head but they were actually moving. It just felt like we were on a moving platform or something like we were on a ride.
"Earthquake," said few of the kids.
"Hey, no talking," said Ms. Shepper.
I looked around the room as the room shook and then it all stopped. I felt disappointed.
Kids still talked and Ms. Shepper ordered again, "Hey, I said no talking."
Everyone stopped and then there were whispers. Ms. Shepper warned all of us that if she heard any more talking, she would move us far apart from each other.
I now couldn't stop thinking about the shaking.
Soon lunch time came and I heard kids talking about the shaking. I heard another boy mentioning it knocked his cup over and another kid said it knocked down their teacher's books. I heard all kinds of crazy stories and I wondered if anything happened at home. I got my food and went back to Ms. Shepper's.
I saw Allie again after school and she called my name and asked me if I felt the earthquake. I told her "yes" and then said I thought it was all in my head but it wasn't.
"It felt like being on a little ride," she said.
Then she ran to her bus and I went to my van.
I came home from school and was interrupted by the news on TV.
"Seattle had an earthquake but your aunt is fine," said Aunt Bridgett.
I noticed on TV there were news anchors and they were showing the damage the earthquake had caused.
"When did that happen?" I asked.
"Today," said Mom.
"Did Aunt Elizabeth's house get damaged?" I asked.
"Stuff fell off her walls and shelves," said Mom.
"But did it knock her house down or what?"
"No it's fine."
I looked at the TV again and it showed collapsed walls and cracked buildings.
"Isn't it great lot of people were not hurt," said Grandma Del. "They got everyone out of the group home when they felt it and my husband says our house is fine."
"Did any of you feel any shaking here when I was at school?" I asked.
"I did," said Mom. "I was painting when it felt like the floor was moving and everything was shaking but not too bad."
"I thought my brain was starting to show signs of aging until Bridgett said something," said Grandma Del.
"I thought I was imagining it until other kids started saying something about it in detention," I said. "Why is it they got damage and we didn't?"
"They were closer," said Grandma Del. "The further you are, the less you feel it so the less stronger it is. Also the stronger it is, the further people can feel it. This was a six point eight. For here, it was less."
I got bored with the news and no one was playing the Nintendo 64 so I played it. Timmy wasn't home.
Then Mom came in the den and told me the news. "I finally was able to schedule an appointment for you to see Dr. Smith. She finally had an opening and agreed to take you as her new patient."
Dr. Smith is a therapist Kelly sees because she has problems with this family because of her lack of tolerance for us being different. Hopefully the doctor can get her to stop being ignorant and start being accepting.
"So you will see her tomorrow," said Mom.
"Okay," was all I said.
The news about the Seattle earthquake was on all evening long and even Dad mentioned he thought he felt something at work and it just felt like a soft shake on his floor like he was on a moving platform and it was like there was a train going by. At first he didn't know what was going on and he was like "what the?" and then it was over.
"Natalie, do you remember when you woke up in an earthquake we had?" Mom asked. "You came running out of your room screaming there was someone shaking your bed. Your Dad and I were up and we woke up to our bed shaking and hearing the picture frames shaking and our dresser and the TV set and we were like "what is going on?" So we were up walking around and then you got up and Kelly and Matthew just slept through it."
"How loud was the shaking?" I asked.
"Not very loud," said Mom. "It just sounded like a big heavy train was going by this house shaking everything. It wasn't a very big one."
"It didn't last very long at all," said Dad. "It did not sound like a train going by here, just felt like someone was moving our bed and bumping our dresser and you could hear the sound waves."
I remembered. That Scott Mills earthquake we had in '93. I remember waking up and I heard some sound like something was turned on and my bed was rocking back and forth. I thought someone was touching it and making it move. It would rock and then it stopped and then it did it again and I got out of bed. Mom and Dad were already up and Brian was up too and he told me his bed was shaking too. Dad put me back to bed and my bed no longer shook and the sound was gone like nothing had ever happened. Then that day in school, I learned it was called an earthquake and all day long the teachers talked about it and we spent all day hiding under tables and standing by the door. For each recess, the duty ladies made us all run out in the field for a few minutes. It's supposed to be if you are outside and an earthquake occurs, you are to run to a safe spot and stand where nothing can fall on you. I remember we had another one two years later and that time I didn't feel it but I remember Kelly saying we had one outside because her water was moving in her cup. I didn't believe her. Then the next day in school our teacher asked us if we all knew there was an earthquake last night. Then again we had to hide under our desks but it was just only once that day. Now this was my third one I had been in and the second time I had felt it. I wondered if there was going to be any earthquake drills the next day in school.
The jeep was still gone the next day and I was glad. Maybe Mom scared him away. We did do an earthquake drill in school just as I thought but we only did it once and Mrs. Peggy got on the intercom and told us to get under our desks so we did. I imagined the whole ceiling falling down and crushing this desk and I am a goner. I would rather just run outside once the ground starts shaking and stand out in the field or parking lot.
We all stayed under the desks and Mrs. Peggy said again we could all get back in our seats. We all got out from under our desks and got in our chairs. I was so glad because it was so boring being down there. Then not too long later, we were given an announcement to go outside in the field. We all did and we waited. I remembered doing this in the fourth grade when we had a tiny earthquake. First, we had to hide under our desks and then we all had to go outside to the field and we stood out there for a while. I didn't see Jason anywhere and I had to stay with Ms. Shepper. All the classes had to stay together. I saw younger kids too. They were all talking and playing and I saw their teachers settling them down.
Then we were given an announcement we could all get back to class.
We walked back inside and we walked in different doors so it wouldn't be so crowded. I went back to detention with the other kids. I had to go change my diaper first before getting seated. I wondered when could there be another earthquake next time and when was the last one before the one in '93?
There were no more earthquake drills for the rest of the day. I was so glad.
Mom picked me up from school because I had an appointment at three to see Dr. Smith. It was in downtown Saltwater. Mom talked to her first and then it was my turn to see her but she had used up most of my session and it left only five minutes left. I was mad about it because she wasted my time bringing me here only for me to not see her.
Dr. Smith seemed like a nice lady and she was shorter than me and a little fat. Mom took me home and today was my last day of detention so I was glad I was going to be back in class again.
The next day I did not notice Jason. I didn't care and figured he was still suspended. But in Spanish I learned he had moved to Portland. I didn't care, I felt happy he was gone.
"When is Jason getting back?" Garrett asked.
"Never, they moved to Portland," said Mr. Leaf.
"But where?"
"Portland, where else?"
"There are a bunch of areas in Portland; there is Gresham, Maywood Park, Troutdale, Oregon City, St. Johns, Janzten Beach-"
"They only said they moved to Portland," said Mr. Leaf. "They didn't tell me what neighborhood or what town."
I bet I was the one that caused them to move there. I wonder why they moved down there instead of Jason going to another school here?
We did more Spanish words and watched a video about their Spanish culture. It was about bull fighting and I was shocked they actually kill the bulls. They stab them with these poles and watch them suffer and running around in pain and they eventually kill them with another pole. It was like their church because they did it every Sunday. I asked a bunch of questions because none of it made sense. What was the purpose of torturing an animal and watching it suffer and how could all those people watch. Mr. Leaf said it was in their culture and don't know any different. But that still made zero sense. What was the purpose of this "sport"?
Because it was a new semester, my classes were a little different. Instead of PE, my job training started. I was disappointed when I found out it was only volunteer work but they said I would get a real job too. I would be working every day at school or other places for volunteer work close to here. I also was no longer doing geography and I was now doing cooking. The purpose of this class was to teach us some life skills.
The jeep was still gone when I got home and I figured my mom scared him away so he was no longer bothering us.
Grandma Del still kept the house clean and we ate dinner at a normal time but Kelly, Matthew, and I were all forced to sit with Dad while he ate and Mom had to sit too.
The next day was another lesson of driver's ed and I was hoping to drive this weekend. Mom gave me driving lessons while going to the class. She let me drive for the very first time and told me how to watch the road and reminded me to look both ways and I had to keep on looking both ways as I am turning because a car could come out of nowhere. She also told me to watch my speed and I must keep my eye on the speedometer because I don't want to get a ticket if I am going too fast. She also told me I must ease off the gas pedal when I am coming to a stop sign or stop light because I don't want to be slamming on my breaks right when I get there because it will cause an accident and it's bad for my breaks and I would also end up in the middle of the intersection because it takes a few feet for a car to stop or more if I am going too fast and if it's wet out or icy, I will slide. She also told me to use my blinker always when turning or switching lanes so other drivers will know I am coming into their lane or turning. She also told me I have to look in my rearview mirror always and my side mirrors because I have to be aware of what is going on around me. It also helps me figure out if I will have time to stop when the light turns because I don't want to be slamming on my breaks when the light turns and the car behind me rear ends me or if I am turning onto the road, I have to know if I have a car behind me so I will know when I should turn onto the road because if the driver behind me is dumb enough to follow me and I see a car come out of nowhere or I realize they are coming too fast so I put my breaks on, the car behind me can rear end me. Mom told me she takes longer to turn onto the road if there is someone behind her because she doesn’t know if they are a follower or if they leave her some space when she turns.
"Natalie, you're too close to that car," said Mom. "Ease off the gas pedal or tap on the break."
I put the break on and the minivan did an abrupt stop and it kept going and our seatbelts did their job holding us in place.
Mom said, "whoa watch it, you're very lucky that car behind us wasn't tailgating. This is why you do not follow close because of what if they put their break on like this, you will hit them. You just got to do it gently and let the car go up ahead and you let yourself fall behind and keep that speed."
I was then at my school and I parked into a parking spot. I grinned.
"You did good for your first try," said Mom.
We got out of the car and we locked it. We went in the building to the class.
"I got my learner's permit, I can drive now," I said to David Barre.
"Good," he said.
Other students arrived and we started class. We read the book again and went through the questions and answers. None of my old school mates bothered me and then the teacher left to use the restroom. I felt nervous. My worries proved me correctly.
"So you think you can drive huh?" Amira asked me.
"Yeah," I said.
"Why?"
"Because I want to and why wouldn't I be able to?" I asked.
"Because there are lot of rules to remember and lot of things you gotta do on the road."
"I know, I drove here and it was easy."
"But there is the test you gotta do."
"I know."
I felt like she was just criticizing me and she wasn't trying to have a conversation with me, she was just being critical and telling me I can't do this. I will prove her wrong. I will study and learn all the rules on the road and be a best driver and get my license.
A few other kids from my old school agreed with her and then a kid not from my school spoke up, "Come on, she can still try."
"She is just wasting her time," said Julian.
Soon David Barre got back and Amira and the other kids quit talking to me. I never once ran from this class to my mother because I handled this all fine.
After class got out, Mom let me drive home again. She told me to look behind me first before backing out and don’t use my mirrors because they don’t give me the full view. She told me I keep looking while I back out because people aren’t always looking so I need to watch for them and they could come any time. This felt like a video game so I imagined I was in one and the object of the game was to not hit anything or it's game over. I did good again driving so I had won the game. I felt so happy and couldn't wait to drive again.
I asked Grandma Del when will I be getting my car now.
"I don't know Natalie, maybe when you get your license," she said.
"But you said you would get me a car when I get my learner's permit and I have it now," I said.
"I know but you can wait can you, you don't need it now do you? Your dad doesn’t drive and you can’t drive with other people in the car but another grown up."
"Bridgett's here and while I can practice driving, you will still be here and my aunt so there will still be cars here," I said.
"This is why you shouldn't have told her," said Aunt Bridgett. "Now she is expecting a car."
"How am I going to trust you again if you lie to me," I said.
"Oh for heaven's sake, I didn't know she would want one this bad without a license," said Grandma Del.
"She is sixteen, what do you expect, lot of sixteen year olds get cars for their birthdays and I doubt all of them have their license. It's just to get them to drive to gain to their independence and they have a car they can wreck," said Aunt Bridgett.
"Mom, you promised her a car," said Mom. "You give her a present and then take it from her?"
"I never got her one," said Grandma Del.
"You said you were going to give her one," said Aunt Bridgett.
"So now I am expected to go out and buy her a car?" Grandma Del asked.
"If you want to disappoint her," said Mom.
"I don't want to be buying her one for her to wreck, that will be a waste of my money," said Grandma Del.
"Then why didn't you just say you will pay for the classes only?"
"I thought of buying her a car and I wanted to do it but you guys got so upset with me about it," said Grandma Del.
"Because you didn't consult us and now she is expecting a car now," Mom yelled. "You even said when she gets her learner's permit, you will get her one."
I started crying. I had been lied to. I was going to get a car and then she changed her mind. I felt tricked and lied to.
I heard the adults talking downstairs and there was fighting. I kept crying in my room. I felt tricked. I would never trust Grandma Del again.
I didn't look at her or talk to her and Mom told me she wasn't speaking to her either for lying to me. Dad then fessed up he was responsible for it because he told her I didn't need my own car unless I could afford it and it wasn't the time yet. I was then mad at him for ruining my present and less mad at Grandma Del now. Dad talked to me about it and said I would have been paying for my own gas and for my own insurance and I don't even have a job yet. It just wasn't the right time for me to get a car. Right now I am just practicing driving and learning. I can't go by myself anyway and there is no point in having two cars when I can just use the mini van.
"But at least I would have a car to crash," I said.
Dad gave me some look.
"What?" I asked.
"If you crash, we would have no car to drive and you would not be driving for a really long time," he said.
"But at least we would still have a car if I crashed mine," I said.
Dad just sighed.
“Natalie, you are not ready to have a car right now,” he said. “Forget what Grandma said, you know how she is, she says what is on her mind and doesn’t even think. It doesn’t surprise me because of how your mother is.”
He got up and left my room.
I cried. I was never going to talk to my dad again nor look at him. How dare he ruin my present.
I refused to look at him so I didn’t knowledge his existence for the rest of my day and I was going to be sure I was never going to talk to him or even pretend he doesn’t exist.
When we ate dinner, I still didn’t speak to Dad and Dad tried to touch my hair but I pulled away. Dad said nothing.
I ate and then after dinner Grandma Del tried talking to me.
“Hey,” she said.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“I know you’re mad, I screwed up here. But you know something, you still are taking your classes and still driving.”
“But you said you wanted to get me a car,” I said.
“Soon but maybe not this year.”
“How do I know you won’t ever get me a car? How do I know this isn’t another lie when you say you will get me a car soon?” I asked.
“I understand why you are mad at me. I made a promise and couldn’t keep it.”
“I am mostly mad at my dad because he caused you to break it,” I said.
“I should have talked to your mom and dad about it first, I didn’t so this happened so it’s still my fault.”
“I was so excited to get a car,” I said.
“If I got you a car, it would have been a used one and maybe ten years old, newer ones are expensive and you have to make monthly payments on them, I don’t think your parents would want to be paying for it and I certainly don’t want more car payments and I don’t think you would make enough each month to keep up with it. So once you start working, you can think about getting a car and I will get you one then.”
“Unless Dad ruins it again,” I said.
“When you are eighteen, he wouldn’t be able to have a say in it.”
“I have to wait two years now to get my present?” I said.
“Yes, maybe. It could be your graduation gift.”
I was starting to feel better.
“So no new car right,” I said.
“No, no car,” said Grandma Del. “Your dad doesn’t feel you need one now.”
“What about when I start working?”
“He doesn’t want you working,”
“What?”
Great, Dad was trying to ruin my life.
I left the room and went after Dad. I found him in the living room.
“You don’t want me working?” I said to him angrily.
“Not at a real job,” he said.
“I want to make my own money and make more than you give me in allowance,” I said.
“Natalie, you are still a child and I want you to enjoy your childhood, you are only a kid once, you don’t need to be in a rush to grow up,” said Dad.
“My cousin has a job, I want one too,” I said.
“He is in a rush to grow up and he will regret it when he is an adult will he,” said Dad.
“But my school is fine with me working,” I said.
“That is only in school, you won’t be working after school hours and it will help you with some work experience.”
I felt sad again and Dad was trying to hold me back.
“But I want to be a normal teenager.”
“You are a normal teenager, what does a normal teenager do?” Dad asked.
“Hang out with friends, wear makeup and nice clothes, have a boyfriend, drive, work, baby sit,” I said.
“Natalie, not everyone has those things at your age, that doesn’t make them abnormal. Your mom didn’t wear that stuff at your age.”
“She isn’t normal,” I said.
“Natalie, you can work when it’s summer but not during the school year and kids shouldn’t even be working until they are adults. Isn’t it sad how many of them are in such a rush to grow up and be adults? I won’t let any of my children do it.”
I felt better because at least he wasn’t holding me back and treating me like I am abnormal. He would do this to Kelly and Matthew too and he even did it to Brian.
“But Brian worked,” I pointed out.
“Yes, in the summer but not when he was in school and he drove our cars. He didn’t get his own until he started working. But we have his insurance under our name and he pays for it.”
I felt even better and I wasn’t being treated like I was retarded by Dad.
I was no longer mad at anyone and I was talking to Dad again.
I took another shower and watched SNICK again and played video games in my room and went to bed when I got too tired to stay awake.
I drove to my class again the next day with Mom in the passenger seat. I did good again and I tried being the perfect driver. I went the speed limit and used my turn signal and looked both ways. I even stopped at every stop sign but Mom reminded me to do a complete stop before turning and make sure I do it behind the stop sign, not past it or the officer will give me a ticket if he sees it.
I finally pulled into the school parking lot and parked the car.
“I am going to go home and work and I will be back to get you again,” she said.
I closed the car door and Mom moved to the driver’s seat and I went in the career building. I took my seat and people arrived and everyone sat down. Then David started class and we read another chapter again and did the mini quiz and he assigned driving again and put me in for this Saturday. I was so excited. He also assigned some others for on Sunday.
We watched another video and class ended but it wasn’t supposed to end for another half hour but we had gotten done early.
I looked for a phone to use but I saw nothing in sight. All the classrooms were locked. The school building was locked too. I went out in the parking lot and I wore my backpack on me. I walked in the parking lot and decided I could just walk home. I saw a few kids leave in other cars and they were picked up by other people. The adult students already left in their cars and some other kids from my class just hung out outside.
Then some car came driving slowly up to me and the window rolled down. The car was green and it was a green pick up truck. It was some guy and he said, “Need a ride?”
I knew to never get in a car with strangers and I didn’t know him.
“No,” I lied.
“Where are you going? Home? I can take you home, it’s not safe to walk home.”
I kept on walking and the man said again “I can take you home, just get in and you will get home quicker, one of my kids goes to school here.”
“Which kid and why isn’t he or she with you?” I asked.
“You’re smart are you? My kid went with friends and didn’t want to go with me.”
“Which kid is yours?” I asked.
“Oh he is over there, see her talking to those kids over there by the front door,” he looked.
I looked and said, “What’s his name?”
“His name? Oh uh-“
I started to run.
I doubt he had a kid here and he just wanted me to go with him.
The truck drove after me and I kept running and then it went around me and in front of me and stopped but I went around it and the man got out and ran after me. I ran faster but I couldn’t run quick enough and he grabbed me and I tried to scream but he held my mouth shut he even grabbed my arms and he held up a tiny pocket knife at my face.
“If you make a sound or try to get away, I will hurt you,” he threatened. “Now get in the truck.”
I stopped struggling and he opened the back door and put me in there and closed it. He got in the front seat and started driving again and he put his seat belt on.
“Put yours on too,” he said.
I put mine on.
He got onto the road and drove off and he went the other direction. He went towards Fred Meyer and passed it and he went to the bridge and got on I-5 and headed towards Portland.
I was being kidnapped.
I was too afraid to say anything or even ask where we were going and what he wanted with me. I really regretted not staying at school and I should have stayed close to the building with the other kids. You are never too old to get kidnapped. It could happen in broad daylight in a public area and I once heard in the news some 17 year old girl was taken from a store parking lot and he drove her all the way across the country all the way to Montana from Arkansas where she was taken. The kidnapper was captured there and the girl was taken to the hospital there. I wondered if we were going to go far away from here. I imagined what if this was just going to be some harmless kidnapping and we act like father and daughter and we do fun stuff together. But I really needed to be in school and I needed to get my driver’s license.
“You are probably wondering who I am,” he said. “You’re pretty smart are you, your parents must have taught you very well. You were a very tough one to get. Natalie.”
I was shocked, he knew my name. I started to wonder where he knew me from and how I knew him. Maybe he knew my dad in some way.
“I know you?” I asked.
“We met once, your neighborhood and I drove that white jeep.”
“Why do you have this one?”
“Ah asking lot of questions are you? You’re a very curious child. This is another vehicle I own. I couldn’t drive the other one after that mother of yours caught me and poked into my business. I have been more careful and you never noticed me have you because you were looking for that white jeep. You know how I know your name?”
“I told you,” I said. “You asked what my name was.”
“Yes, and didn’t they teach you to never tell a stranger what your name is? This is why. You’re not that smart are you? You know Jessica Kink?”
“Yes,” I said.
“She hired me. Know what she hired me for? Take a guess?”
“You’re her principal?” I guessed.
He laughed. “I thought you were very smart. What answer is that?
“You told me to guess.”
“She hired me to get you.”
“What does she want me for?”
“I don’t know, she only hired me to go get you. She gave me your name and details and all I had to do was find the address you were at and watch you and she told me what school you go to so all I had to do was go there and look for a blonde-haired girl.”
This man went on and on about how he had been spying on us and how he had been following me for weeks and my little sister to try and get me and how Mrs. Kink saw me in Portland and caused her to get a jaywalking ticket and she saw me get on the bus with my father and saw me leave the big building my father works in. But once I figured out he was after me and my mom figured him out, he had to switch vehicles. But he never told me what Mrs. Kink wanted me for. He told me she is pretty mad at me for making her get that ticket.
We were then on I-205 and soon he went on highway 14 and kept on driving and soon he was out of Vancouver and going to Camas and then Washougal. We even passed the paper mill where it always stunk. We got off the road and turned onto some two lane road and it was very small and narrow. We were driving through the trees and he got off that road and drove on some other road. He kept driving and driving and soon he pulled onto a small narrow grass road. He kept driving and he drove for a while and then he pulled to a brown house. He then parked the truck and told me to get out. I got out and he grabbed my arm and pointed his pocket knife at me again.
“Get inside,” he said.
I went inside and the place was dark. The door had a lock on it and he had unlocked it with a key and all the windows were boarded up. It looked like this place hadn’t been lived in for a long time because there was dirt and debris everywhere and there were no lights. The whole house smelled like an old home. He took me into a bedroom. It was very dark and I could only see the light from the front door. He told me Mrs. Kink will be here to meet me soon and she wanted him to put me where no one will find me. He left and he closed the front door. I started to shout.
“Hey, what about some light here, I can’t see a thing.”
He didn’t respond and he still closed it. The whole house was dark and I was in the dark and couldn’t see anything, I couldn’t see my own hands or my own body. Everything was pitch black and I couldn’t hear a sound but my own breathing and my heart and my ears making a sound as always. I kept trying to see but I knew it was impossible. Of course I would still see at home with no lights on, there is still some light. But no light could get in here. The windows were very well boarded up. I felt around and crawled. I kept my bag with me so I wouldn’t lose it. I wished I had a flashlight. I also needed a new diaper but I couldn’t see.
I waited and waited and no one ever came. I wondered if I would ever get out of here and when she would be here. I didn’t even know how much time had passed or if it was even dark and I was starting to feel anxious.
The next day the jeep was completely gone. It was not in the neighborhood and it was not at school. I was hoping this was all in my head and I was never being followed and watched in the first place. I was starting to imagine what that man would want with me. What if he was someone from work and he hated my father so he was going to use me to get back at him? I imagined him taking me and keeping me for ransom until my Dad quits or gives him money. I imagined the police looking for me and trying to solve the crime. Then it's all in the news and in the paper and even kids from my old school and here know about it.
What if the man was Dad's boss or someone he hired and he takes me and keeps me in his home and only way my parents would get me back is if he quits?
I couldn't stop thinking about this. I thought about it all morning long and then my desk started to rumble and my chair too and it felt like everything was vibrating and shaking and I heard a sound like something was turned on.
"Hey who is moving my chair and my desk?" said a boy.
"Not I," said another boy.
"Mine is moving too," said another girl.
"Mine is moving also," I said.
I thought this was all in my head but they were actually moving. It just felt like we were on a moving platform or something like we were on a ride.
"Earthquake," said few of the kids.
"Hey, no talking," said Ms. Shepper.
I looked around the room as the room shook and then it all stopped. I felt disappointed.
Kids still talked and Ms. Shepper ordered again, "Hey, I said no talking."
Everyone stopped and then there were whispers. Ms. Shepper warned all of us that if she heard any more talking, she would move us far apart from each other.
I now couldn't stop thinking about the shaking.
Soon lunch time came and I heard kids talking about the shaking. I heard another boy mentioning it knocked his cup over and another kid said it knocked down their teacher's books. I heard all kinds of crazy stories and I wondered if anything happened at home. I got my food and went back to Ms. Shepper's.
I saw Allie again after school and she called my name and asked me if I felt the earthquake. I told her "yes" and then said I thought it was all in my head but it wasn't.
"It felt like being on a little ride," she said.
Then she ran to her bus and I went to my van.
I came home from school and was interrupted by the news on TV.
"Seattle had an earthquake but your aunt is fine," said Aunt Bridgett.
I noticed on TV there were news anchors and they were showing the damage the earthquake had caused.
"When did that happen?" I asked.
"Today," said Mom.
"Did Aunt Elizabeth's house get damaged?" I asked.
"Stuff fell off her walls and shelves," said Mom.
"But did it knock her house down or what?"
"No it's fine."
I looked at the TV again and it showed collapsed walls and cracked buildings.
"Isn't it great lot of people were not hurt," said Grandma Del. "They got everyone out of the group home when they felt it and my husband says our house is fine."
"Did any of you feel any shaking here when I was at school?" I asked.
"I did," said Mom. "I was painting when it felt like the floor was moving and everything was shaking but not too bad."
"I thought my brain was starting to show signs of aging until Bridgett said something," said Grandma Del.
"I thought I was imagining it until other kids started saying something about it in detention," I said. "Why is it they got damage and we didn't?"
"They were closer," said Grandma Del. "The further you are, the less you feel it so the less stronger it is. Also the stronger it is, the further people can feel it. This was a six point eight. For here, it was less."
I got bored with the news and no one was playing the Nintendo 64 so I played it. Timmy wasn't home.
Then Mom came in the den and told me the news. "I finally was able to schedule an appointment for you to see Dr. Smith. She finally had an opening and agreed to take you as her new patient."
Dr. Smith is a therapist Kelly sees because she has problems with this family because of her lack of tolerance for us being different. Hopefully the doctor can get her to stop being ignorant and start being accepting.
"So you will see her tomorrow," said Mom.
"Okay," was all I said.
The news about the Seattle earthquake was on all evening long and even Dad mentioned he thought he felt something at work and it just felt like a soft shake on his floor like he was on a moving platform and it was like there was a train going by. At first he didn't know what was going on and he was like "what the?" and then it was over.
"Natalie, do you remember when you woke up in an earthquake we had?" Mom asked. "You came running out of your room screaming there was someone shaking your bed. Your Dad and I were up and we woke up to our bed shaking and hearing the picture frames shaking and our dresser and the TV set and we were like "what is going on?" So we were up walking around and then you got up and Kelly and Matthew just slept through it."
"How loud was the shaking?" I asked.
"Not very loud," said Mom. "It just sounded like a big heavy train was going by this house shaking everything. It wasn't a very big one."
"It didn't last very long at all," said Dad. "It did not sound like a train going by here, just felt like someone was moving our bed and bumping our dresser and you could hear the sound waves."
I remembered. That Scott Mills earthquake we had in '93. I remember waking up and I heard some sound like something was turned on and my bed was rocking back and forth. I thought someone was touching it and making it move. It would rock and then it stopped and then it did it again and I got out of bed. Mom and Dad were already up and Brian was up too and he told me his bed was shaking too. Dad put me back to bed and my bed no longer shook and the sound was gone like nothing had ever happened. Then that day in school, I learned it was called an earthquake and all day long the teachers talked about it and we spent all day hiding under tables and standing by the door. For each recess, the duty ladies made us all run out in the field for a few minutes. It's supposed to be if you are outside and an earthquake occurs, you are to run to a safe spot and stand where nothing can fall on you. I remember we had another one two years later and that time I didn't feel it but I remember Kelly saying we had one outside because her water was moving in her cup. I didn't believe her. Then the next day in school our teacher asked us if we all knew there was an earthquake last night. Then again we had to hide under our desks but it was just only once that day. Now this was my third one I had been in and the second time I had felt it. I wondered if there was going to be any earthquake drills the next day in school.
The jeep was still gone the next day and I was glad. Maybe Mom scared him away. We did do an earthquake drill in school just as I thought but we only did it once and Mrs. Peggy got on the intercom and told us to get under our desks so we did. I imagined the whole ceiling falling down and crushing this desk and I am a goner. I would rather just run outside once the ground starts shaking and stand out in the field or parking lot.
We all stayed under the desks and Mrs. Peggy said again we could all get back in our seats. We all got out from under our desks and got in our chairs. I was so glad because it was so boring being down there. Then not too long later, we were given an announcement to go outside in the field. We all did and we waited. I remembered doing this in the fourth grade when we had a tiny earthquake. First, we had to hide under our desks and then we all had to go outside to the field and we stood out there for a while. I didn't see Jason anywhere and I had to stay with Ms. Shepper. All the classes had to stay together. I saw younger kids too. They were all talking and playing and I saw their teachers settling them down.
Then we were given an announcement we could all get back to class.
We walked back inside and we walked in different doors so it wouldn't be so crowded. I went back to detention with the other kids. I had to go change my diaper first before getting seated. I wondered when could there be another earthquake next time and when was the last one before the one in '93?
There were no more earthquake drills for the rest of the day. I was so glad.
Mom picked me up from school because I had an appointment at three to see Dr. Smith. It was in downtown Saltwater. Mom talked to her first and then it was my turn to see her but she had used up most of my session and it left only five minutes left. I was mad about it because she wasted my time bringing me here only for me to not see her.
Dr. Smith seemed like a nice lady and she was shorter than me and a little fat. Mom took me home and today was my last day of detention so I was glad I was going to be back in class again.
The next day I did not notice Jason. I didn't care and figured he was still suspended. But in Spanish I learned he had moved to Portland. I didn't care, I felt happy he was gone.
"When is Jason getting back?" Garrett asked.
"Never, they moved to Portland," said Mr. Leaf.
"But where?"
"Portland, where else?"
"There are a bunch of areas in Portland; there is Gresham, Maywood Park, Troutdale, Oregon City, St. Johns, Janzten Beach-"
"They only said they moved to Portland," said Mr. Leaf. "They didn't tell me what neighborhood or what town."
I bet I was the one that caused them to move there. I wonder why they moved down there instead of Jason going to another school here?
We did more Spanish words and watched a video about their Spanish culture. It was about bull fighting and I was shocked they actually kill the bulls. They stab them with these poles and watch them suffer and running around in pain and they eventually kill them with another pole. It was like their church because they did it every Sunday. I asked a bunch of questions because none of it made sense. What was the purpose of torturing an animal and watching it suffer and how could all those people watch. Mr. Leaf said it was in their culture and don't know any different. But that still made zero sense. What was the purpose of this "sport"?
Because it was a new semester, my classes were a little different. Instead of PE, my job training started. I was disappointed when I found out it was only volunteer work but they said I would get a real job too. I would be working every day at school or other places for volunteer work close to here. I also was no longer doing geography and I was now doing cooking. The purpose of this class was to teach us some life skills.
The jeep was still gone when I got home and I figured my mom scared him away so he was no longer bothering us.
Grandma Del still kept the house clean and we ate dinner at a normal time but Kelly, Matthew, and I were all forced to sit with Dad while he ate and Mom had to sit too.
The next day was another lesson of driver's ed and I was hoping to drive this weekend. Mom gave me driving lessons while going to the class. She let me drive for the very first time and told me how to watch the road and reminded me to look both ways and I had to keep on looking both ways as I am turning because a car could come out of nowhere. She also told me to watch my speed and I must keep my eye on the speedometer because I don't want to get a ticket if I am going too fast. She also told me I must ease off the gas pedal when I am coming to a stop sign or stop light because I don't want to be slamming on my breaks right when I get there because it will cause an accident and it's bad for my breaks and I would also end up in the middle of the intersection because it takes a few feet for a car to stop or more if I am going too fast and if it's wet out or icy, I will slide. She also told me to use my blinker always when turning or switching lanes so other drivers will know I am coming into their lane or turning. She also told me I have to look in my rearview mirror always and my side mirrors because I have to be aware of what is going on around me. It also helps me figure out if I will have time to stop when the light turns because I don't want to be slamming on my breaks when the light turns and the car behind me rear ends me or if I am turning onto the road, I have to know if I have a car behind me so I will know when I should turn onto the road because if the driver behind me is dumb enough to follow me and I see a car come out of nowhere or I realize they are coming too fast so I put my breaks on, the car behind me can rear end me. Mom told me she takes longer to turn onto the road if there is someone behind her because she doesn’t know if they are a follower or if they leave her some space when she turns.
"Natalie, you're too close to that car," said Mom. "Ease off the gas pedal or tap on the break."
I put the break on and the minivan did an abrupt stop and it kept going and our seatbelts did their job holding us in place.
Mom said, "whoa watch it, you're very lucky that car behind us wasn't tailgating. This is why you do not follow close because of what if they put their break on like this, you will hit them. You just got to do it gently and let the car go up ahead and you let yourself fall behind and keep that speed."
I was then at my school and I parked into a parking spot. I grinned.
"You did good for your first try," said Mom.
We got out of the car and we locked it. We went in the building to the class.
"I got my learner's permit, I can drive now," I said to David Barre.
"Good," he said.
Other students arrived and we started class. We read the book again and went through the questions and answers. None of my old school mates bothered me and then the teacher left to use the restroom. I felt nervous. My worries proved me correctly.
"So you think you can drive huh?" Amira asked me.
"Yeah," I said.
"Why?"
"Because I want to and why wouldn't I be able to?" I asked.
"Because there are lot of rules to remember and lot of things you gotta do on the road."
"I know, I drove here and it was easy."
"But there is the test you gotta do."
"I know."
I felt like she was just criticizing me and she wasn't trying to have a conversation with me, she was just being critical and telling me I can't do this. I will prove her wrong. I will study and learn all the rules on the road and be a best driver and get my license.
A few other kids from my old school agreed with her and then a kid not from my school spoke up, "Come on, she can still try."
"She is just wasting her time," said Julian.
Soon David Barre got back and Amira and the other kids quit talking to me. I never once ran from this class to my mother because I handled this all fine.
After class got out, Mom let me drive home again. She told me to look behind me first before backing out and don’t use my mirrors because they don’t give me the full view. She told me I keep looking while I back out because people aren’t always looking so I need to watch for them and they could come any time. This felt like a video game so I imagined I was in one and the object of the game was to not hit anything or it's game over. I did good again driving so I had won the game. I felt so happy and couldn't wait to drive again.
I asked Grandma Del when will I be getting my car now.
"I don't know Natalie, maybe when you get your license," she said.
"But you said you would get me a car when I get my learner's permit and I have it now," I said.
"I know but you can wait can you, you don't need it now do you? Your dad doesn’t drive and you can’t drive with other people in the car but another grown up."
"Bridgett's here and while I can practice driving, you will still be here and my aunt so there will still be cars here," I said.
"This is why you shouldn't have told her," said Aunt Bridgett. "Now she is expecting a car."
"How am I going to trust you again if you lie to me," I said.
"Oh for heaven's sake, I didn't know she would want one this bad without a license," said Grandma Del.
"She is sixteen, what do you expect, lot of sixteen year olds get cars for their birthdays and I doubt all of them have their license. It's just to get them to drive to gain to their independence and they have a car they can wreck," said Aunt Bridgett.
"Mom, you promised her a car," said Mom. "You give her a present and then take it from her?"
"I never got her one," said Grandma Del.
"You said you were going to give her one," said Aunt Bridgett.
"So now I am expected to go out and buy her a car?" Grandma Del asked.
"If you want to disappoint her," said Mom.
"I don't want to be buying her one for her to wreck, that will be a waste of my money," said Grandma Del.
"Then why didn't you just say you will pay for the classes only?"
"I thought of buying her a car and I wanted to do it but you guys got so upset with me about it," said Grandma Del.
"Because you didn't consult us and now she is expecting a car now," Mom yelled. "You even said when she gets her learner's permit, you will get her one."
I started crying. I had been lied to. I was going to get a car and then she changed her mind. I felt tricked and lied to.
I heard the adults talking downstairs and there was fighting. I kept crying in my room. I felt tricked. I would never trust Grandma Del again.
I didn't look at her or talk to her and Mom told me she wasn't speaking to her either for lying to me. Dad then fessed up he was responsible for it because he told her I didn't need my own car unless I could afford it and it wasn't the time yet. I was then mad at him for ruining my present and less mad at Grandma Del now. Dad talked to me about it and said I would have been paying for my own gas and for my own insurance and I don't even have a job yet. It just wasn't the right time for me to get a car. Right now I am just practicing driving and learning. I can't go by myself anyway and there is no point in having two cars when I can just use the mini van.
"But at least I would have a car to crash," I said.
Dad gave me some look.
"What?" I asked.
"If you crash, we would have no car to drive and you would not be driving for a really long time," he said.
"But at least we would still have a car if I crashed mine," I said.
Dad just sighed.
“Natalie, you are not ready to have a car right now,” he said. “Forget what Grandma said, you know how she is, she says what is on her mind and doesn’t even think. It doesn’t surprise me because of how your mother is.”
He got up and left my room.
I cried. I was never going to talk to my dad again nor look at him. How dare he ruin my present.
I refused to look at him so I didn’t knowledge his existence for the rest of my day and I was going to be sure I was never going to talk to him or even pretend he doesn’t exist.
When we ate dinner, I still didn’t speak to Dad and Dad tried to touch my hair but I pulled away. Dad said nothing.
I ate and then after dinner Grandma Del tried talking to me.
“Hey,” she said.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“I know you’re mad, I screwed up here. But you know something, you still are taking your classes and still driving.”
“But you said you wanted to get me a car,” I said.
“Soon but maybe not this year.”
“How do I know you won’t ever get me a car? How do I know this isn’t another lie when you say you will get me a car soon?” I asked.
“I understand why you are mad at me. I made a promise and couldn’t keep it.”
“I am mostly mad at my dad because he caused you to break it,” I said.
“I should have talked to your mom and dad about it first, I didn’t so this happened so it’s still my fault.”
“I was so excited to get a car,” I said.
“If I got you a car, it would have been a used one and maybe ten years old, newer ones are expensive and you have to make monthly payments on them, I don’t think your parents would want to be paying for it and I certainly don’t want more car payments and I don’t think you would make enough each month to keep up with it. So once you start working, you can think about getting a car and I will get you one then.”
“Unless Dad ruins it again,” I said.
“When you are eighteen, he wouldn’t be able to have a say in it.”
“I have to wait two years now to get my present?” I said.
“Yes, maybe. It could be your graduation gift.”
I was starting to feel better.
“So no new car right,” I said.
“No, no car,” said Grandma Del. “Your dad doesn’t feel you need one now.”
“What about when I start working?”
“He doesn’t want you working,”
“What?”
Great, Dad was trying to ruin my life.
I left the room and went after Dad. I found him in the living room.
“You don’t want me working?” I said to him angrily.
“Not at a real job,” he said.
“I want to make my own money and make more than you give me in allowance,” I said.
“Natalie, you are still a child and I want you to enjoy your childhood, you are only a kid once, you don’t need to be in a rush to grow up,” said Dad.
“My cousin has a job, I want one too,” I said.
“He is in a rush to grow up and he will regret it when he is an adult will he,” said Dad.
“But my school is fine with me working,” I said.
“That is only in school, you won’t be working after school hours and it will help you with some work experience.”
I felt sad again and Dad was trying to hold me back.
“But I want to be a normal teenager.”
“You are a normal teenager, what does a normal teenager do?” Dad asked.
“Hang out with friends, wear makeup and nice clothes, have a boyfriend, drive, work, baby sit,” I said.
“Natalie, not everyone has those things at your age, that doesn’t make them abnormal. Your mom didn’t wear that stuff at your age.”
“She isn’t normal,” I said.
“Natalie, you can work when it’s summer but not during the school year and kids shouldn’t even be working until they are adults. Isn’t it sad how many of them are in such a rush to grow up and be adults? I won’t let any of my children do it.”
I felt better because at least he wasn’t holding me back and treating me like I am abnormal. He would do this to Kelly and Matthew too and he even did it to Brian.
“But Brian worked,” I pointed out.
“Yes, in the summer but not when he was in school and he drove our cars. He didn’t get his own until he started working. But we have his insurance under our name and he pays for it.”
I felt even better and I wasn’t being treated like I was retarded by Dad.
I was no longer mad at anyone and I was talking to Dad again.
I took another shower and watched SNICK again and played video games in my room and went to bed when I got too tired to stay awake.
I drove to my class again the next day with Mom in the passenger seat. I did good again and I tried being the perfect driver. I went the speed limit and used my turn signal and looked both ways. I even stopped at every stop sign but Mom reminded me to do a complete stop before turning and make sure I do it behind the stop sign, not past it or the officer will give me a ticket if he sees it.
I finally pulled into the school parking lot and parked the car.
“I am going to go home and work and I will be back to get you again,” she said.
I closed the car door and Mom moved to the driver’s seat and I went in the career building. I took my seat and people arrived and everyone sat down. Then David started class and we read another chapter again and did the mini quiz and he assigned driving again and put me in for this Saturday. I was so excited. He also assigned some others for on Sunday.
We watched another video and class ended but it wasn’t supposed to end for another half hour but we had gotten done early.
I looked for a phone to use but I saw nothing in sight. All the classrooms were locked. The school building was locked too. I went out in the parking lot and I wore my backpack on me. I walked in the parking lot and decided I could just walk home. I saw a few kids leave in other cars and they were picked up by other people. The adult students already left in their cars and some other kids from my class just hung out outside.
Then some car came driving slowly up to me and the window rolled down. The car was green and it was a green pick up truck. It was some guy and he said, “Need a ride?”
I knew to never get in a car with strangers and I didn’t know him.
“No,” I lied.
“Where are you going? Home? I can take you home, it’s not safe to walk home.”
I kept on walking and the man said again “I can take you home, just get in and you will get home quicker, one of my kids goes to school here.”
“Which kid and why isn’t he or she with you?” I asked.
“You’re smart are you? My kid went with friends and didn’t want to go with me.”
“Which kid is yours?” I asked.
“Oh he is over there, see her talking to those kids over there by the front door,” he looked.
I looked and said, “What’s his name?”
“His name? Oh uh-“
I started to run.
I doubt he had a kid here and he just wanted me to go with him.
The truck drove after me and I kept running and then it went around me and in front of me and stopped but I went around it and the man got out and ran after me. I ran faster but I couldn’t run quick enough and he grabbed me and I tried to scream but he held my mouth shut he even grabbed my arms and he held up a tiny pocket knife at my face.
“If you make a sound or try to get away, I will hurt you,” he threatened. “Now get in the truck.”
I stopped struggling and he opened the back door and put me in there and closed it. He got in the front seat and started driving again and he put his seat belt on.
“Put yours on too,” he said.
I put mine on.
He got onto the road and drove off and he went the other direction. He went towards Fred Meyer and passed it and he went to the bridge and got on I-5 and headed towards Portland.
I was being kidnapped.
I was too afraid to say anything or even ask where we were going and what he wanted with me. I really regretted not staying at school and I should have stayed close to the building with the other kids. You are never too old to get kidnapped. It could happen in broad daylight in a public area and I once heard in the news some 17 year old girl was taken from a store parking lot and he drove her all the way across the country all the way to Montana from Arkansas where she was taken. The kidnapper was captured there and the girl was taken to the hospital there. I wondered if we were going to go far away from here. I imagined what if this was just going to be some harmless kidnapping and we act like father and daughter and we do fun stuff together. But I really needed to be in school and I needed to get my driver’s license.
“You are probably wondering who I am,” he said. “You’re pretty smart are you, your parents must have taught you very well. You were a very tough one to get. Natalie.”
I was shocked, he knew my name. I started to wonder where he knew me from and how I knew him. Maybe he knew my dad in some way.
“I know you?” I asked.
“We met once, your neighborhood and I drove that white jeep.”
“Why do you have this one?”
“Ah asking lot of questions are you? You’re a very curious child. This is another vehicle I own. I couldn’t drive the other one after that mother of yours caught me and poked into my business. I have been more careful and you never noticed me have you because you were looking for that white jeep. You know how I know your name?”
“I told you,” I said. “You asked what my name was.”
“Yes, and didn’t they teach you to never tell a stranger what your name is? This is why. You’re not that smart are you? You know Jessica Kink?”
“Yes,” I said.
“She hired me. Know what she hired me for? Take a guess?”
“You’re her principal?” I guessed.
He laughed. “I thought you were very smart. What answer is that?
“You told me to guess.”
“She hired me to get you.”
“What does she want me for?”
“I don’t know, she only hired me to go get you. She gave me your name and details and all I had to do was find the address you were at and watch you and she told me what school you go to so all I had to do was go there and look for a blonde-haired girl.”
This man went on and on about how he had been spying on us and how he had been following me for weeks and my little sister to try and get me and how Mrs. Kink saw me in Portland and caused her to get a jaywalking ticket and she saw me get on the bus with my father and saw me leave the big building my father works in. But once I figured out he was after me and my mom figured him out, he had to switch vehicles. But he never told me what Mrs. Kink wanted me for. He told me she is pretty mad at me for making her get that ticket.
We were then on I-205 and soon he went on highway 14 and kept on driving and soon he was out of Vancouver and going to Camas and then Washougal. We even passed the paper mill where it always stunk. We got off the road and turned onto some two lane road and it was very small and narrow. We were driving through the trees and he got off that road and drove on some other road. He kept driving and driving and soon he pulled onto a small narrow grass road. He kept driving and he drove for a while and then he pulled to a brown house. He then parked the truck and told me to get out. I got out and he grabbed my arm and pointed his pocket knife at me again.
“Get inside,” he said.
I went inside and the place was dark. The door had a lock on it and he had unlocked it with a key and all the windows were boarded up. It looked like this place hadn’t been lived in for a long time because there was dirt and debris everywhere and there were no lights. The whole house smelled like an old home. He took me into a bedroom. It was very dark and I could only see the light from the front door. He told me Mrs. Kink will be here to meet me soon and she wanted him to put me where no one will find me. He left and he closed the front door. I started to shout.
“Hey, what about some light here, I can’t see a thing.”
He didn’t respond and he still closed it. The whole house was dark and I was in the dark and couldn’t see anything, I couldn’t see my own hands or my own body. Everything was pitch black and I couldn’t hear a sound but my own breathing and my heart and my ears making a sound as always. I kept trying to see but I knew it was impossible. Of course I would still see at home with no lights on, there is still some light. But no light could get in here. The windows were very well boarded up. I felt around and crawled. I kept my bag with me so I wouldn’t lose it. I wished I had a flashlight. I also needed a new diaper but I couldn’t see.
I waited and waited and no one ever came. I wondered if I would ever get out of here and when she would be here. I didn’t even know how much time had passed or if it was even dark and I was starting to feel anxious.