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Post by Bad Beth on Oct 23, 2017 22:26:38 GMT
Natalie is going to be sweet 16 and everyone keeps making a big deal about it. Natalie is noticing a lot of change, her mother is allowing her to wear makeup now and gets her a fragrance, her grandmother wants to get her a car and pay for her driving classes, but there is also bad change happening too, her parents are deciding on a separation but her mother has nowhere to go so they stay under the same roof and the den gets changed into a bedroom but the state still considers them together because they are still living together, Jason decides Natalie isn’t the right girlfriend for him, she also notices she gets cold easily and keeps finding bruises on her body, she also encounters her former substitute teacher Mrs. Kink and she wants her revenge. Aunt Bridgett is also staying with them with her cousins.
Chapter 1
“Did you enjoy the movie?” Jennifer asked. “Yes,” I said. “Yes,” said Jason. Then he started to say lines from Miss Congeniality, a movie we just saw. Jason is my boyfriend. I was surprised he already knew lines from it. I don’t know lines from a movie unless I see it so many times and I only do that with favorite movies. The movie was about a secret FBI agent played by Sandra Bullock and she had to join the beauty pageant as under cover to catch the attempted terrorist crime that involved a bomb. They had made it a comedy and action movie. Gracie was also not a so normal character in the movie but she sure knew how to fight and I always like characters who are different because normal is so boring. It’s great to see characters who are different and still be normal. Jennifer was carrying her purse and popcorn we still had leftover and she threw some trash away. We walked out of the theater and went to her car. We headed to Vancouver Mall which was right across the road from the theater. Jennifer parked near Meier and Frank. We got out and walked through Meier and Frank. We walked around the mall and we looked in KB Toys and Waldenbooks and I also looked in The Disney Store. I looked at the 102 Dalmatians merchandise and the books. Then we were looking in the candy shop and we played some arcade games. I went inside the batting cage and put in some coins and grabbed the bat and swung at the virtual ball on the screen. After I got a game over with it, I put the bat back and played other games. Jason and I won some tickets from the games and we got more coins from the machine and played air hockey together while Jennifer just waited. Jason had won by one point and I wasn’t upset about it. We used up the rest of our coins and traded our tickets in for prizes. I got mostly candy. The rest of the prizes were too cheap and looked crap. The good ones were more expensive, and it would take years to win them. The only good prize I had I could afford was a mini slinky shaped like a butterfly and the rest I got candy with. I played with it in my hand as we left the store and Jennifer followed us. We looked in Game Crazy next. “Jason, you are not getting that game,” said Jennifer. “It’s no different than playing Goldeneye,” he argued. I looked and I wondered what the game was. I noticed he was looking at one of the Nintendo 64 games in the display case. “No, that game is for adults and South Park is for adults,” said Jennifer. I kept looking and I looked at the Sega Games and at the Game Boy games. They also had Super Nintendo and Dreamcast and Nintendo 64 and the old Nintendo games and Sega CD and Saturn. I saw a small selection of very old Sega games and Atari. I found out my family used to have an Atari but they sold it at a yard sale a long time ago when Kelly was a baby. Kelly is my little sister who had just turned thirteen. I am going to be sixteen in a few weeks. I was sad I didn’t bring my money and the fifty bucks my dad had given me for a Nintendo 64 game he owes me. Then I realized something. “Jen, can I get something here and I will pay you back when you bring me back home?” I asked. “Oh certainly,” she said. “Forgot your money?” “I didn’t know we were coming here,” I said I went back to looking at the Nintendo 64 games. I had to decide on what game to get. I spotted Majora’s Mask. I could get that new Zelda game or I can get Mickey’s Speedway USA or Donald Duck Goin’ Quackers or Rugrats in Paris. I also saw Mario Kart 64 and Rugrats Scavenger Hunt and Mario Golf, Mario Tennis, Super Mario 64, Ms. Pac Man Maze Madness, Yoshi Story, Rampage 1 and 2, Hey You Pickachu. That game was eighty bucks and Dad only gave me fifty. I also realized Majora’s mask was also $69.99 so that was off my list now. Maybe he will give me more money but I wasn’t going to take chances. I had to decide on a Nintendo 64 game. I wished I could get them all so I wouldn’t have to make a choice. We were here for a while and Jennifer just waited for us outside the store and looked in nearby stores. I looked at other games and kept thinking about what game to get. I also saw an advertisement for upcoming video games and I could tell Nintendo was going to quit making the Nintendo 64 games because of how small the list is. They only had four games listed for this year. Only one title interested me and that was Paper Mario which would be out in a few days. I kept looking at the other games. “Natalie, you ready?” Jennifer asked. “No,” I said. I kept looking and then Jason said, “I’m ready to go.” “How much longer Natalie?” Jennifer asked. I started to feel anxious. “I can’t decide,” I said. “Unless you want to buy all of these for me which I can’t afford.” “Which ones do you want?’ “Mario kart 64, Super Mario 64, Ms. Pac Man Maze Madness, Mario Golf, Mario Tennis…” I listed off all the games I had wanted that were $49.99 or under. I wondered if I would have to give the rest of the money back to Dad. No I only had fifty I would need change. “Would you have change for a fifty if I got a cheaper game?” I asked. “Which game?” “Super Mario 64. It’s only forty bucks and I have fifty bucks at home.” Jennifer looking in her wallet and said she had two fives and some pennies and nickels and dimes. “Goody,” I said. “Natalie is sure slow at picking and the slowest picker ever,” said Jason. “You didn’t get anything,” said Jennifer to Jason. “There was nothing I wanted and I am saving my money,” he said. “Good job, you can put it in savings and open yourself a bank account.” I couldn’t pick and Jennifer helped me with it. “Which games did you say you wanted?” I told her again. “Okay I will pick one for you, you both wait for me outside. How much do you want to spend all together?” “Fifty,” I said. “Okay.” Jason and I went out of the store and we just skipped around in the mall and hopped and jumped on one foot and trying to balance on one leg while holding up my other foot. Then Jason was at the escalators and running up them while they were coming down. I did it too. I went on the one that was going up and started running down while the steps were coming out of the ground. “Natalie,” Jennifer called. Jason was no longer playing on the other escalator and I jumped off. Jennifer gave me the Game Crazy bag and I peeked inside to see what she picked out. Rugrats in Paris it was. We looked around the mall more and Jennifer looked inside JCPenney and Sears. Then she looked inside Mervyns and Nordstrom. I changed my diaper while we were in Mervyns and I just said I had to go pee and left to go to the ladies room. I carried my bag with me and not one store employee had asked to peek inside it or asking for it at their counter. I am double incontinent due to being in a car accident when I was seven and I have not used the toilet since except for when I am sitting on it when I air out or when I am changing. I have grown to like them because they protect my clothes from getting wet and messy and I have gotten used to having accidents. Only time it ever bothers me is if I leak or mess at the wrong time. I also take odor pills so they keep my BMs from smelling when I defecate. After Jennifer was done looking in the stores, we left the mall through Meier and Frank and left in her car. We headed back to their apartment and we went inside. Jason and I went in his room and he pulled a Game Crazy bag out of his coat pocket. “Look at what I bought but don’t tell Mom,” he said. He took the game out of the bag and it was South Park, the one his mom told him he couldn’t get. “Mom said you couldn’t get that,” I said. “Shhhh,” he hissed. “I know, don’t tell her okay.” “Are you going to play it?” “When she isn’t home.” He hid it behind his dresser. We played my new game and Jason enjoyed the mini games it had. It didn’t follow the movie. I just had to go around the theme park collecting tickets and playing mini games to win a gold ticket. The game also required a memory card. I decided I should use my own Christmas money just to buy a memory card. I would have to ask Mom to take me to Fred Meyer. We played all evening long and Jennifer made us all dinner and we ate and then she took me home after that. I changed my diaper again before we left and I kept the diaper in my bag. Jason and I held hands in the back seat and I enjoyed feeling his warm hands. None of us have even done any real kissing or making out because that stuff still made me uncomfortable but hugs is what I liked. We got back to my house and Jason went inside with me and I dumped the pillowcase of Nintendo 64 games on the counter in the den. I went up to my room and got the fifty bucks and handed it to Jennifer. She thanked me. Jennifer and Mom visited again and she looked at her paintings. Then she asked me if she and my mother would like to come over to her apartment tomorrow for a Mary Kay thing. Jennifer explained she also sold Mary Kay products for extra money and since my real English teacher will be back on Monday, she is looking for other work again and Mary Kay is what she does when she is between jobs. Jennifer was no longer my English teacher because Mrs. Pennysworth was finally returning to school after having her baby. I felt sad and happy because I would get to see what she looked like and I was sad because Jennifer would no longer be my English teacher. I wanted to come back to Jason’s apartment and play more video games with him so I said yes. Mom said yes too. Jason was upstairs playing with Matthew. I could hear tapping up there. Rap a tap tap rap a tap tap. Then he came downstairs and said bye to me again and hugged me and I hugged him back. Jennifer and Jason left and I took my shower and watched SNICK.
The next day Mom, Matthew, and I headed over to Jason’s. It was just the three of us while Dad stayed home with Kelly. Matthew is my youngest brother, he is nine and in the fourth grade and I have an older brother who is twenty-two and his name is Brian. He moved out last summer when he got a girlfriend. He goes to Clark College in Vancouver pursing to be a game designer. We live in Saltwater, Washington. Matthew wanted to come with us because Jason told him he would show him his drum set if he ever comes over and show him how to play it.
We arrived at Jason’s and we all got out of the mini van and Mom reminded Matthew to only knock once or ring the doorbell once but not do both. We went up to the door and I rang the doorbell as Matthew was knocking. “Mom said to only knock once,” I said. Jennifer answered it and said “Hi, come on in.” We went inside and Mom caught up and came in too. Jennifer closed the door. Matthew went looking for Jason. “You wanted to show me the drums,” he said. “Natalie,” said Jason when he saw me. “She came here for the Mary Kay,” said Jennifer. “I know but she can play after she is done,” said Jason. Matthew and him went in his bedroom while Mom and I sat at the dining room table. Jennifer had her products set out on the table and she started to talk. Jennifer and I were talking while she was trying make up on me but Mom kept on talking over our conversation. Jennifer and I just talked louder to drone her out so we could hear each other. Jason and Matthew were playing the drums and Jennifer had to shout at them to close the door. Jason closed it. Rap a tap tap rap a tap tap. Then Mom had to get up to use the bathroom and took her large purse with her. “Does your Mom always do that in conversations?” Jennifer asked. “Yes,” I said. “She has a lot to learn.” Jennifer finished putting nail polish on my finger nails. Then Mom came back and went back to talking. I just talked to Jennifer about her makeup she was putting on me ignoring Mom. “Now we are done here,” she said. “Now let’s try the eye lashes.” She took out another Mary Kay products and opened it and put it on my eye lashes making them more visible. Then she did Mom next. She did her nails and then her eye brows and I went in Jason’s room to play. Matthew had been learning to play the drums the whole time. I played with the Nintendo 64. Jason taught Matthew a good rhythm. Then Jennifer called me again so I paused the game and went back to the dining room. Jennifer tested some more make up on my face and showed it to me in the mirror. Then she did Mom’s. Then next she tried the hair products and fragrance. It all smelled good but it got too much for Mom and Jennifer apologized. Mom left the table and went outside on the patio. Jennifer finished up with me. Then she put the products away. “I don’t think your mother is going to want more,” she said. “So what do you think? Do you think you look prettier?” I looked in the round mirror again at myself. I had a lit face and my eye brows were more noticeable and I had on lipstick and nail polish and I smelled nice. “Yeah,” I said. “Do you think you and your mother will buy any?” Jennifer asked. “I don’t know.” “Anita, we’re done,” Jennifer told her. Mom came back inside. “I think your daughter likes it, you interested in buying any?” Jennifer asked. “Did you want any?” Mom asked. “I can wear makeup now?” I asked. “You’ll be sixteen,” she said. “Sweet sixteen is always special,” said Jennifer. “Why?” I asked. “I don’t know, it’s always been a tradition.” “I met my husband at that age and he was the first and only guy ever,” said Mom. I keep hearing sweet 16 and I wonder why they call it sweet. “Why do they call it sweet sixteen?" I asked. “I don’t know, maybe because you’re almost an adult now,” said Mom. “So why isn’t there sweet 17, they’re almost adults too?” I asked. Jennifer laughed. “Good question, why do we call it sweet 16?” I picked up the fragrance stuff. “I like this stuff, that will make me smell better,” I said. “Is that it?’ Jennifer asked. “How much does it all cost?” I asked. Jennifer looked at the prices and showed me and it was expensive. Oh no, I didn’t want Mom to spend that much money. “Twenty-eight dollars?” I said. “There are cheaper ones,” said Jennifer. She showed me the fragrance that was under twenty bucks. They were all in tubes. Jennifer allowed me to sample so I could see what smelled the best. “I really like this one here but too bad it’s twenty-eight dollars,” I said. “Don’t you worry about the price, this will be your sweet 16 present,” said Mom. I decided on the fragrance and Mom paid for it by cash. I put the fragrance in my diaper bag. I played with Jason more in his room with the gaming system. Matthew played the drums while Jason and I played. Mom and Jennifer just watched TV out in the living room. Then Mom wanted to head home and Jennifer offered to take me and Matthew home if she wanted to. Mom was fine with it and told us to be good. Mom took my used diaper with her to throw away. I played Goldeneye again and I wished I had brought an extra Nintendo 64 controller with so Matthew could play with us. Jason and I were doing multiplayer and I was Natalya that ugly Bond girl. Jason was Boris. Despite him being a villain, Jason still liked him because he found him to be funny, he was an awkward geek who always clicked pins and liked changing passwords with his employees’ computers and hacking them and hacking other computer systems around the world. “I don’t know why I like this ugly girl,” I said. “She is so dumb and sounds like a guy.” “No she doesn’t, that is how Russians talk and she isn’t ugly,” said Jason. “She looks ugly to me and she sounds like a guy and she is so dumb she couldn’t figure out chair.” “That is because Boris always had dirty answers to his riddles,” said Jason. “So she was expecting the answer to be dirty she didn’t even think it would be something so simple and he picked a simple answer because he knew she wouldn’t guess it because he was always doing dirty answers.” That made more sense. Maybe she wasn’t dumb after all but she was in the game. “But she is still dumb in this game because she gets in the way,” I said. “Blame the game programmers, they made her that way. They still have ways to learn about computer graphics to make the characters realistic.” When time ran out, I decided to play something else. We took turns on a level. I did the facility level and then Jason had his turn. He played the caverns. He stayed in the elevator just to listen to the elevator music and then he left it and started to play the level. Matthew left the bedroom and told Jennifer he was hungry. She gave us all a snack. She brought it all in the bedroom and set it on the floor right by our feet. Jason died and then it was my turn again. I played the jungle level. When I got to Xenia, she started shooting at me and I ran back across the bridge backwards and she followed me. Then Natalya came up to her and walked beside her and shot her in the head and down went Xenia. “Oh my god, did you see that?” I said. “Natalya went right up to Xenia and shot her right in the head.” “Yeah,” said Jason. I resumed playing and I shot all the other enemies. Matthew ate little of his food and played the drums again. “Can I have your drum set?” he asked. “No,” said Jason. “Why not?” “Because I need it for band. How come you don’t do band Natalie?” “I am not good at it, I prefer singing. Why aren’t you in choir?” “I like playing the drums.”
Later, Jennifer decided to take us all home. Jason came with us. Matthew talked about Jason’s drums. Jason and I sat together. I loved having a boyfriend. I loved being with him because I have someone to play with now and feel normal with and he wasn’t boring like the other kids my age.
We arrived home and right away Matthew asked Mom and Dad if he can get drums. “Mom, Dad, can I get drums?” he asked. “You mean a drum set?” Dad asked. “Yeah, Jason has a drum set and I had fun playing it so I want a set now.” “It’s expensive and I don’t want to be buying it and then you get bored with it and not play them anymore.” “No, I want to play the drums,” said Matthew. “Maybe you will get them for your birthday.” “That is a long time,” Matthew cried. “I will show you how to make some drums,” said Jason. “Let’s see what we can find around here.” Jason took him all over the house while Jennifer was with Mom again. I think they were also starting to become friends. I never see Mom having a friend so this was unusual. Jennifer was mostly talking while Mom only listens and not say much. That is how she is in conversations and when she does talk like everyone else, she talks over everyone and interrupts and doesn’t listen to what others say and no one responds to her and she doesn’t seem to care if no one hears her. She will even come in and start talking and it doesn’t matter if I am talking to someone else or if they are talking to me. Other kids have told me how rude my mother is and tell me how mean she is and some think she is retarded or stupid. Kelly gets mad at her a lot and says she doesn’t care about us. She did only care about that dog we had for three weeks and didn’t care how it was affecting her school work and how it was affecting me and my dad and she refused to watch him and keep him in Skippy’s cage and he just liked peeing in the house. He did it in his cage too at the very end and kept one side neat. But now he is dead because he got hit by Kelly’s school bus when he ran outside. I am so glad he is gone. Kelly felt relieved. Dad was happy he was dead too so at least I know it’s normal to feel happy he is gone. Matthew and Jason took out some glasses and filled them with water and set them on the counter. Each cup had different level of water in it and Jason had Matthew tap each one with a spoon. I remembered doing that one time in Girl Scouts. They tapped tapped tapped and Dad said that was enough and the sound was annoying. “It’s music,” said Matthew. “No it’s not, it’s noise,” said Dad. “You need more training,” Jason told Matthew. “I will just move them up to my room,” he said. He and Jason carried the glasses upstairs. They practiced more up in his room. I played Nintendo 64 again. I was stuck in the second dungeon in the Zelda game because I couldn’t figure out how to get to the second floor. I wandered around the dungeon again and then turned the game off and picked out another game to play. I played Cruisin’ USA.
Soon Jason and Jennifer had to go home so they said bye to us and Jason gave me a hug again. I couldn’t wait to see him in school again and to come to his apartment again. Matthew continued playing with the glasses.
Chapter 2
I came to school wearing my new fragrance. I wondered if any kids here were going to say anything about it and say how good I smell. Today was the day I was finally going to meet my real English teacher. I saw Jason again in the hall and we talked. “I should come over to your house,” he said. “Why?” I asked. “I always come over to yours.” “Maybe you can bring your drum set over so Matthew can play them,” I said. “Good idea, I will do that, ask your mom and dad if I can come over again this weekend.” “Okay,” I said. I put my bag in my locker and brought my binder to class. I saw Mrs. Pennysworth at her desk. She wore glasses and she looked young and she had short dark blonde hair. “You must be Mrs. Pennysworth,” I said. “I am,” she said. “You must be a new student here, I see some new students here so we would all have to reintroduce ourselves when class starts.” I sat in my desk and worked on a word search. Soon class started and Mrs. Pennysworth said, “Good morning everyone. I am so happy to be back, I have missed you all. All of you have probably heard how I had to have my baby early because of complications but everything is good now and my baby Addy is healthy. I have a picture of her right here.” She went in her purse and opened her wallet and took out a photo and held it up. “I will pass this around and if you are not interested, it’s okay to decline and pass it on to the next person.” She handed the photo to Amber and she looked at it and passed it onto Russel behind her. Each kid looked at the photo and few of them declined and then it was handed to me by Alyssa. I looked at it and it was a photo of a newborn and it looked ugly. All babies are ugly when they are born and I was an ugly baby too until I lost my newborn look. Then they become cute after that. I then handed the photo back to the teacher and sat back down. Mrs. Pennysworth took attendance while we looked at the photo and then she put it outside the door. Then she said, “I am glad to be back and since we have some new students this year, I will need you to reintroduce yourselves to me and tell me a bit about yourself like where you live, what you like and dislike, things like that.” We all took turns reintroducing ourselves for Mrs. Pennysworth. They each did it differently so I realized I didn’t have to say where I live and what I dislike. Then my turn came and I said “I am Natalie and I started coming here in November and I like video games and reading and my favorite classes here are choir, Spanish, and Drama and I love PE because of the fun games we play and I love being on the computer and I like doing this word search book.” I held the book up for everyone to see. “Good,” said Mrs. Pennysworth. First thing she started out with was DOL again. “I am going to pick the new students, Natalie, you’re first since you’re the newest.” I jumped out of my chair and went to the overhead and started to make the corrections in the first sentence. “I see you know your punctuations very well and grammar,” said Mrs. Pennysworth. “Okay, who’s next, new students only.” Casey, Janelle, and Kenny all raise their hands and Mrs. Pennysworth picked Casey. He went up to the overhead and started to make the corrections but he had troubles because he was just standing there and moving the pen but not doing anything. He only made one correction and nothing else. I felt very smart. I wanted to shout what changes to make but I knew that wasn’t allowed in class. Then Mrs. Pennysworth said “Will anyone please help Casey, raise your hand.” Kids raised their hands and me too and they started shouting out the corrections. “Wait when I call you,” she said. Everyone shut up “Alyssa, tell Casey what other correction he needs to make.” “It’s they’re,” said Alyssa. “T-H-E-Y apostrophe R-E.” “Good,” said Mrs. Pennysworth. “Lot of people still have troubles withthat so these words are very tricky. There is T-H-E-R-E which is an adverb and it’s talking about a place, T-H-E-I-R is talking about a person or anything that belongs to them, T-H-E-Y aspostrophe R-E is a contraction for they are. If you remember these rules, you will know which there, their, or they’re to make.” I raised my hand. “Yes?” Mrs. Pennysworth called. “That is what my mom told me too and that is how I figured out how to know which there to spell,” I said. “Good, I am glad to see you have it all figured out. Casey, cross out I-R and put in Y apostrophe R-E.” Casey did that and put it all in above the word. We made the rest of the corrections and then she turned it off. Then she gave us all an assignment. “I printed off two pages here of three short paragraphs and I want to see who can get the most corrections and bring it to me when you are done.” She handed them out and it was two pages stapled together. Then she handed them to me and I put my name at the top and started to read. I read through it and started making corrections and I would read through it again to be sure I had them all and I wasn’t missing any. I looked at the words carefully to be sure any of them were spelled correctly. There were also lot of words in there I had never heard of. “No dictionary,” said Mrs. Pennysworth. I saw Russell was out of his seat and he put the dictionary back. “Nice try though,” said Mrs. Pennysworth. He swung his fist and stamped his foot and sat back in his seat. He didn’t look upset. “How long do we have to get this done?’ Alyssa asked. “There is no limit, just take your time and give it to me when class ends and if everyone is done before then, great,” Mrs. Pennysworth replied. I took my sweet time reading through it making sure I had everything and then I turned it in and sat back down and worked on my word search again. While I was working on it, I felt the seat of my diaper being filled while I had pressure built up in my anus. It was all soft and I felt it spread to the back. It was like I farted and poop came out. Good thing I was taking odor pills because that made it a lot easier for me to handle this and I had my fragrance on. It took me about two minutes for it to all finish. The diaper felt very full and it felt bigger too. I could tell it was a big one I did and I could feel it in the back and front too. I got out of my seat and said to Mrs. Robinson “I need to go to the nurse’s office.” “Okay,” she said. She went over to Mrs. Pennysowrth and talked to her quietly. “Okay,” she said. I wondered if she told her about my medical condition or if she read my IEP stuff all ready. I am sure my incontinence is listed in there. Me and Mrs. Robinson left the classroom. My diaper felt very weird from all the poop and I felt like I wasn’t walking normal. I went to the nurse’s office and Joann was there again. “I need changed again,” I said. “Okay, get your stuff out for me,” was all she said. I took out a clean diaper and my wipes and rash cream and I took off my shoes and pants. Joann had her door locked and I climbed up on the bed and laid down. She got out the underpad and laid it down. I got on top of it and she put on a pair of plastic gloves. She unfolded my clean diaper and set it down and opened my used diaper and didn’t say anything about the big mess. She cleaned me up professionally using a lot of baby wipes and she had to change her gloves several times. I kept my eyes closed the whole time. Then she removed the messy diaper with everything in it, the wipes and the gloves and threw it away in the enclosed trash bin. Then she came back and put the clean one on me and I put my pants and shoes back on while she removed the gloves and washed her hands. Class was a few minutes away to being over by the time I got back. The bell rang and I went to special ed class next they call the resource room. I do my math there and this time I was met with some other teachers. They were all sitting at the table I always sat at for math. Mrs. Robinson sat with me and so did Mr. Brooks, and two other ladies. “Natalie, I am Olivia and this here is my assistant Gail, we are here to talk about vocational rehab. I am sure you have been told about it when you started to attend here.” “Yes,” I said. “I was wondering when I would start working.” “That is what we came here for, we see you are about to turn sweet sixteen and we are now going to go over your skills and what you can do. We work for human resources and we help employ minors with disabilities and give them job training so they can gain work experience.” I was so happy. I couldn’t wait to start work. I wanted to make some money so I could buy all the video games I wanted and those cool keychains. They showed me photos of other kids with disabilities being employed and I said, “They look like normal kids.” “They are,” said Gail. I was shocked. I didn’t know you could have a disability and still be normal. I wondered if I was normal and if that is what I looked like. I wondered if someone could be retarded and still be normal or be autistic and still be normal or be in a wheelchair and still be normal or look abnormal and still be normal. They kept going over the photos and then they went over employment options and my likes and interests. I felt nervous at the same time because I was worried about being discouraged. They were trying to limit my jobs to no people because of my history of not getting along but Mrs. Robinson stepped in saying I had been doing very well so maybe they can put me in a job where I only have a minimal deal with people. They wrote out things like laundry sorter, room cleaner, mail sorter, recycling and garbage pickup, work in an animal shelter cleaning animal cages or walking dogs, clean buildings, dust bookshelves in the public library, make book marks. I hated all the jobs they listed, I wanted to do something more but all this seemed to be for people who are unintelligent but I wanted a job so I would do anything to get one. “Which jobs are you interested in?” Olivia asked. “I can work with pets,” I said. “That is a good one. This job is good for people who have troubles with other humans.” We figured out what jobs I would do and told me my job wouldn’t start until after my birthday because of child labor laws. I couldn’t wait to start earning real money instead of relying on chores. Instead of a place paying me to work, this other place that employs kids with disabilities would be paying me. It felt weird to be hearing I have a disability because I wasn’t drooling or in a wheel chair and I didn’t shriek or make any funny sounds and I can do everything normal people can do. I never thought me being incontinent and me being different would be a disability and you can look normal and be normal and still have a disability. I didn’t need to look abnormal or be in a wheelchair or have crutches to have one. The whole meeting took up my whole entire Math class so by the time they were done, there was only a few minutes left for math and then the bell rang and we went to my next class. I met up with Jason in Spanish and I told him about how I would start working soon but I would have to wait until after my birthday. “I wouldn’t want to work any job unless it’s my interest,” said Jason. “Why?” I asked. “It’s a waste of time, I would rather work with drums and if I am going to have a job, it would better be something I like.” “But we all have to work,” I said. “You don’t want to be Oskar from Hey Arnold.” “I won’t be an Oskar, I will get a job that suits my obsession.” “But don’t you want money?” I asked. “Yeah.” “So you would work any job you can do if it pays or else you would be an Oskar and you wouldn’t be able to buy what you want.” “I will not work a job I don’t like, that would be a waste of my time and it would be exhausting.” Jason was being so lazy and he didn’t care about earning money.
Mr. Leaf started class and he did attendance and held up the binding asking, “Who would like to set this outside the door?” Hands raised up and he picked Sarah. She put it in the hallway and shut the door. We have a kid that goes around the school collecting them and brings them to the office. That was part of the job training this one kid did by collecting binders. He didn’t get paid for it but it was volunteer working for gaining experience. Mr. Leaf got us started on our homework and we were learning sentences and we are even are even required to write in Spanish. We even have to ask if we can go to the bathroom in Spanish. Puedo ir al bano, it is. I wonder how do I say, “I need to change my diaper” in Spanish? Then no one would know what I am asking but the teacher. What is weird about language is we use single words and in Spanish there are a bunch of words like for to play, I can, May I and you don’t use single Spanish words for those two words. Plus words change for something depending on what you are talking about. Su and ella are examples and they mean her in Spanish and su can also mean his. Su sounds like sue and ella sounds like a-uh. Then there is sus for her and his. It’s very confusing and English is supposed to be the hardest language to learn in the world? At least our words stay the same but we do have words that sound the same but are spelled different and we have words that are spelled the same but sound different depending on how it’s used. For example, bow, read, conduct, lead, wind, live. It would be funny if people argued how those words are pronounced and none of them would get anywhere because they would both be correct. Mr. Leaf put us into groups and the assignment was we all write one page, a paragraph using sentences in Spanish and he will read them out loud the exactly way we had written it and then he will read it as what we meant to write. Jason and I got together. I normally hated group projects and have always found those hell but this time I didn’t mind and I learned to like them because at least I wouldn’t be doing all the work and I just sit there and do what I am told and copy what others are writing and problem solved, not so hard anymore. Aubry and Jeff also got with us. I did the writing and everyone just told me one at a time what they wanted to say and I had to write it in Spanish. I tried to remember the rules about Spanish words so I wouldn’t use the wrong words and there are words that are spelled very similar and putting in one wrong letter can change the whole meaning of the sentence and the word. My mom says the same thing can happen with our language too, when people who don’t speak English well also say some words wrong and it can also change the meaning of the sentence and them misspelling our words and then it doesn’t make sense. I wrote down some stuff I wanted to say and then I wrote what Jason wanted to say. Then I handed the paper over to Aubry so she would write what she wanted to say. She got done and then she passed it over to Jeff. Jason was last and soon Mr. Leaf said it was time to hand our papers to him and don’t worry about being finished. We handed ours to him as he collected papers from each group. He read the first one and none of it made sense. Then he translated it to what it was supposed to say and it made more sense. Then he read ours and I noticed mine didn’t all make sense and then he read what ours was meant to say. Then he went to the next paper and said he wouldn’t bother reading it out loud because of too much bad language so he will read what they were trying to say. I got curious about what the bad words were so I asked and he wouldn’t tell us. He just said it was bad language and it wouldn’t be appropriate for him to read it out loud in class. “Can we read it then?” Jason asked. “No,” said Mr. Leaf. “Nice try though.” After he got done, he told us we all did very good and he knows it’s very confusing because of how language keeps changing depending on the sentences and the spelling changes too. “Was this hard for you at first?” I asked. “No because my father spoke fluent Spanish so this was never hard,” Mr. Leaf replied. “Why did he speak Spanish?” “He learned it and felt it was very important for all his children to know it and I do the same with my kids too and make them take this class.” He was reminding me of my dad, he also spoke British around us because he felt it was important we knew British English and know the sounds of the words and it also helped him keep his accent so I am pretty fluent with it too. I use it in drama when I rehearse my lines because they story takes place in London.
Soon the class ended and we all went to our next class. During PE it hurt laying on my back and doing crunches and it also hurt sitting on my butt. We had to do some warm ups before playing any games. Then when we all had to put arm arms on the floor and hold ourselves up, it hurt being on my elbows.
After the warm ups I was so happy it was all over but after class I noticed I had bruises on my arms. I had been getting them lately. Also another thing about me is I have been getting cold easily so I always wear a jacket and everyone else is fine. Plus my clothes have felt looser on me and some of my pants are falling down and can’t stay up anymore past my navel. But PE helps keep me warm when I start playing. We played traffic jam, we stay on the line and not get off it and we cannot pass other kids who have been tagged so we have to go find another route. Holly and Brett were it. After class ended, I changed my diaper in the nurse’s office and I did it this time because I wasn’t messy. Then I went to my next class. We practiced our new songs for the upcoming music festival.
In drama, I enjoyed being with Jason again. We all rehearsed our lines and when school got out, I stayed behind because I had volunteered to help work on the set. Jason went home with his mother. Mom arrived to help volunteer on the set. She drew some buildings in the background making it all British looing and she drew Big Ben and St Paul’s Cathedral. We all stayed for two hours and then we packed up and left. When we got home, Mom made a quick dinner for all of us and then she had to go get Dad at seven. I just watched TV and did a word search.
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Post by Bad Beth on Oct 31, 2017 6:34:06 GMT
Chapter 3
The new month came so that made it twenty-one days until my birthday. I reminded Dad when he got home he owed me fifty bucks again. I forgot Mom was in the room and she overheard me. “What for?” she asked. “Oh I borrowed some of her Christmas money,” said Dad. Then he said to me, “Don’t worry I will get it to you. I will stop at the ATM again tomorrow.” “Why did you need to borrow money, we have money?” Mom asked. “I didn’t want to go to the bank to get it and I can’t drive.” “I have cash.” Then Dad took me to the other room and told me I almost blew our cover and I have to not mention it around her or around anyone else and this was between us. I understood but it just slipped. “Dad, some Nintendo 64 games cost $69.99, so you need to get me seventy bucks plus tax,” I said, “and that Hey You Pikcachu game costs eighty rounding up plus tax.” “Can you get any cheaper games?” he asked. “You said you would get me any Nintendo 64 game,” I said. “Yes but can you go easy on me, I have all this debt to pay. Can you go with cheaper Nintendo 64 games and then work your way up?” “Okay,” I said. “Thank you, the sooner I pay all this, the sooner I get out of it.” Dad left the room and soon I heard him and Mom fighting again about him borrowing money. “Are you drinking again?” Mom asked. “No Anita I have not had a sip since I have crashed into that building,” said Dad. “I don’t believe you because it doesn’t make sense why you had to borrow from Natalie unless you are blowing all our money on your addiction.” “I am not addicted and I have never blown my money on beer.” Mom then went out to the garage and Dad just shook his head. Then Mom came back inside, I found no beer hidden, I will keep looking and if I see any, we are through.” “Where would you go?” Dad asked. Mom didn’t say anything else. I felt bad, I had gotten Dad into trouble and I felt like a bad person. Maybe Gladys is right I am selfish and only think of myself. Gladys is Nate’s wife who is my step grandfather’s brother. She thinks my parents spoil me and let me get away with stuff.
We all had dinner and I got on the computer. I looked on the ABDL sites and then Kelly came in so I had to click out of it. I looked on Funcoland but it was all Gamestop now. I was disappointed. I liked Funcoland because it had game tips for video games submitted by people from around the country. I went to Shockwave and did a daily jigsaw instead. Then I had to get off to get ready for bed. I showered and brushed my hair and read in bed.
I woke up the next day and it was Friday. TGIF. I love TGIFs. At least I don’t need them written in my shoes or on the front of my shirts. Kelly, Mom, and I all have blonde hair. Princess was laying on my bed. She is a gray tabby cat and Kelly’s is black with white on her paws and we have a Yellow Lab named Skippy and he belongs to all of us. Princess was purring very loudly. I felt her with my feet. I held my red Teletubby. My diaper was also wet from the pee but I was too lazy to get out of bed to do it. I heard water running in the pipes so I knew Dad must have gone to the bathroom or Mom. I closed my eyes and tired going back to sleep. I felt my diaper getting warmer and I could feel it getting wetter and the pee soaking in the diaper. I felt for leaks and felt none. I was so glad, the ones I wear hold a lot of urine but sadly they are thick diapers so they make my butt big. I liked the thickness and I liked hearing them crinkle and the thick feeling between my legs and around my buttock. I looked at my diaper under the covers and I felt babyish. I rubbed it and felt the squishiness. The purple lines were all faded. I stuck my hands inside my plastic pants to feel the diaper and the warmth. Mom and Dad got up later and they got ready and then the garage door opened and they left. Then Mom came home later. Later she got me up for school and changed my diaper and put another purple diaper on me and got me dressed. Kelly was downstairs having breakfast and I sat at the table with her eating my cereal. “Kids, Aunt Bridgett and her kids will be coming here and staying with us for a while,” said Mom. “Why?” I asked. “They got evicted because the owners decided they wanted to sell the house and Bridgett doesn’t have the money to buy it and they have nowhere to go so they will be staying here because we have a big enough house and one extra room and a hidebed and one extra bed in Kelly’s room and we have some air mattresses and sleeping bags and extra pillows,” said Mom. “Don’t they have Grandma and Grandpa and other relatives they can stay with?” Kelly asked. “I said they could stay here and are welcome too,” said Mom. “Mom, you did this without even asking us and they are dirty.” “I will be sure they keep neat in our house and if not, I will ask them to move and stay somewhere else but my sister will be respectful enough to pick up after herself I reassure you and her kids know how to clean. You saw how clean their house was when we were there, they cleaned just it for us because they knew how much it bothered you.” Kelly didn’t say anything else. I started to imagine my cousins living with us and them attending school here and kids from my old school meeting Amber and Timmy and then learning they are my cousins and we are akin. I also imagined Jesse and Kelly going to the same school and kids learning they are related. I also imagined Jaymee and Matthew going to the same school and being in the same class. I pictured them living close by to us when Aunt Bridgett did find a place to move to. Aunt Bridgett is Mom’s twin sister and she is older. They look alike except she is fatter and Mom isn’t. I wondered where everyone would be sleeping and I wondered if I would have to share my room with Amber or if she will be sleeping in Kelly’s room and where would they put Jesse and Timmy and Jaymee. Would they put Jaymee in my room because she is a girl or would they put her with Kelly? Where would Aunt Bridgett sleep? Kelly got finished eating and she put her bowl in the sink and got ready to go. I finished my food and I brushed my hair and teeth and played video games in the den.
When the van came, I turned the system off and got my backpack and my coat and shoes and headed out the door. I saw Jason in school that day and we hung out together again and I saw Dr. Harding again. I told him about Aunt Bridgett and my cousins coming over to stay with us for a while until she finds a place to live again. I still talked about Pissy, our former Miniature Schnauzer we had who would refuse to go potty outside and would just hold it until he came inside. Jason thinks he was a dumb animal because he was a small breed and small breeds tend to be dumb. Dr. Harding laughed. I also told him about The Abusing Adventures of Pissy. I couldn’t say Pissy because that word was considered bad language in our school because of the word piss so I had to use his real name, Whimper. I called him Whimpy instead. It sounded like wimpy so I liked that name better and he was a wimp anyway because he refused to go outside. Dr. Harding thought my The Abusing Adventures of Whimpy stories were funny. I told him one of the stories. “Whimpy gets left outside overnight and everyone is sleeping and the one of the coyotes comes in the yard and tries to eat him because he is hungry so he catches Whimpy in the yard and he attacks him,” I said. I started to whimper like a dog pretending he was being attacked by a coyote in our yard. Dr. Harding was laughing. “This room is a safe spot for you to talk about this,” he said. “And he gets all badly beaten up and is all covered in blood and the coyote runs off when the light turns on because he didn’t want to be seen by humans. Then the owner comes outside and sees he has been attacked ‘Oh my precious dog’ she cries. She picks him up and starts hugging him and crying and Whimpy is in too much pain to go peeing by the bedroom door or anywhere else in the house and it’s too late to take him to the vet because they are closed.” “They have emergency numbers for you to call if your pet is in need of urgent care,” said Dr. Harding. “How do you know what number to call?” I asked. “I only know of 911 but that is only for humans but I was never taught any emergency numbers for pets.” Dr. Harding laughed again. “They usually have it listed outside the building or the address for closest place that is open twenty-four hours.” “The owner then takes her doggy to the vet and sees they are closed but they have the emergency number listed and the closest location for the vet clinic that is open all the time so she takes him there and she is upset about how expensive it would be to fix him.” “Doesn’t she have pet insurance?” Dr. Harding asked. “No such thing,” I said. “Actually there is,” he said. “Really?” “Oh yeah.” Now I wondered if Skippy had pet insurance. “I guess she does then so Whimpy gets all stitched up and he has stiches all over his body and he is one ugly dog now until he is healed,” I said. I told other stories about The Abusing Adventures of Whimpy. I talked about him being electrocuted on the electric fence and him whimpering loudly. It was a true story there but I didn’t tell him that or else he might want to know how it happened and I would have to lie and my lying could get someone into trouble if I say they did it. I wasn’t going to tell him I did it or else he would think I needed to be hospitalized and I wouldn’t see my video games again and my room and all my stuff. Soon our session ended and I left his office.
Mom arrived at school again after it ended and Jennifer also came too to help out with the play. Jason stayed too. Him and I both painted the set after Mom was finished drawing that part. We painted the buildings of London and Mom was finishing up St Paul’s Cathedral. I painted Big Ben. Another parent and Aubry were drawing and painting the set. Some other moms were working on costumes with some students. “Am I going to your house tomorrow?’ Jason asked. “Mom, Jason wants to come to our house to play,” I said. “That is fine,” said Mom. “She said yes,” I told Jason. Then I realized I was not very specific. “He wants to come over tomorrow,” I told Mom. “That is fine,” she said again. “You know the rules; no sex, no touching each other wrong.” “I know,” I cut her off before she could even mention my diapers. I didn’t want her saying it in front of anyone and I didn’t want Jason to hear. “That’s right, turning sweet 16 still won’t give you that privilege yet,” said Mom. I think there should be a sweet 18 because that is when you are legally an adult and no longer considered a child and there should be a sweet 21 because you can now drink and gamble and rent cars. I hear you have to be 21 to rent them.
We stayed for two hours and then we went home. Jason went home too with his mother. Mom made some pasta when we got home. I love pasta, it’s also my favorite. I would eat it all the time but I hear having it all the time isn’t healthy. Having any of the same food all the time and never anything else is unhealthy. Mom got finished making it and put it in the strainer and then back in the kettle again and made us wait until Dad got home. She left to go get him and we all had to wait for him. I ignored the hunger in my stomach and played Gauntlet Legends. I died before I could finish the first level. I turned it off and played Cruisin’ USA. I remember playing it in arcades.
Mom and Dad soon came home and I paused the game. “You made pasta again,” said Dad. “I was helping at Natalie’s school again and I didn’t have time to cook,” said Mom. “How much longer?” he asked. “Till the set is done.” I got out a plate and put some pasta on it and sat down and started to eat. Mom got out some plates and put pasta on it. “Kelly, Matthew?” she called. “Pretty soon they will get tired of having it too,” said Dad. “Then they can all make themselves something to eat if they don’t like what I make,” said Mom. I ate my pasta pretty fast and then I was finished. Kelly and Matthew were still eating theirs. Matthew didn’t even finish his. “I don’t want the rest,” he said. “Okay, just leave it,” said Mom. Kelly finished her food and Dad was still eating his. “Can I be excused to do my homework?” said Kelly. “Yes,” said Dad. “I can I be excused too?” said Matthew, “Yes,” said Dad. “Can I be excused also?” I asked. “Yes.” I jumped out of my chair and Dad reminded me to put my plate in the sink. I took my plate and fork and stuck it in the sink and went back to the den. Mom and Dad just sat at the table. I went back to my game and continued playing. I heard Mom and Dad argue again. “No I have not been drinking and you will not find any beer bottles or cans so keep looking and you won’t find any.” I didn’t know what to do. Only way to end the argument was to tell Mom Dad wasn’t drinking and then she would want to know how I even know. Then how would I tell her without blowing Dad’s secret? Dad had gotten himself drunk back in October and ended up having sex with a female co worker at her house. Dad does not want Mom to know he did that and I overheard it so we made a deal. But yet that wasn’t enough to get him to stop drinking because he still did it and would go to a bar instead and drink. He couldn’t do it at home or Mom would dump his beer down the drain and she would go looking for hiding spots thinking where he could possibly put them. Dad is an alcoholic. He says he is not but I know he is. Now he is in AA, Alcoholics Anonymous, and he has to do community service because that was part of his probation and he can’t drive for six months and when he does, his driving will be very restricted. Dad blames it all on Mom for taking his beer so he snuck it and drank too much at the bar in downtown and he got into a fight there and got kicked out and drove home under the influence and he totaled his car when he crashed it into the bank. Why did he get into a fight? He had too much to drink and he blames Mom for it but Mom blames him for all of it. Kelly blames them both. I blame them both too. It was better when Mom wasn’t trying to restrict his drinking because when she did try to restrict it, all it did was it made him do it more and then this all happened. Dad has always drank and he would have moments when he would drink several bottles a day or go through several packs a week and he of course blames Mom for all of it saying she is too much work and stresses him out so beer helps him keep calm. I wonder if I should tell someone about all this, Dad’s drinking and our deal we made and him sleeping with a co worker? But I am afraid that person will tell and then Dad will be mad at me and I would be a bad person for betraying him. “Do I smell like I have been drinking? Does it smell like I have been to a group pub, I wouldn’t be coming home if I was going to one,” said Dad. A group pub is another word for bar. I wonder if Dad is mad at me for causing the fight again? “Anita, I have not been drinking okay? Do you think I would be home right now if I was?” I went out to the kitchen and said, “Dad hasn’t been drinking or else I would have seen it.” “Natalie, how do you know he hasn’t been doing it alone?” Mom asked. “How can he drink if he has no way of driving and it would take him a while to walk to town and back and we would all know he is gone?” I asked. “That’s right,” said Dad. “You would notice me being gone all day and I wouldn’t have time to go get some beer before coming to get me from the bus station.” “Okay fine, you haven’t been drinking,” said Mom. “But I still want to know why you are borrowing money from our kids when you have money in the bank or when I have money.” “Anita, I just did okay, I didn’t think borrowing money from my own bank account or from you was a requirement,” said Dad. “But it doesn’t make sense.” “Okay, Natalie was there when I needed money so I asked her because I thought it would be quicker.” “And why would she be okay with it when she would get upset if someone needed to use her money?” “She didn’t this time okay, our baby girl is growing up. You need to stop seeing all our kids as little kids because they all change as they get older and did you know Natalie now has lot of friends now at school?” “She has Jason.” “No, she has other friends she gets along with in class and she is even getting along with someone in the special ed room. Putting her in that school was the best decision we’ve ever made, and her grades have been good. With that aide of hers now, she has been doing very good and that will help with her social skills. If she keeps doing well, her diagnoses might not even be relevant anymore.” Of course I was getting along now with everyone. With Mrs. Robinson being with me now, kids don’t pick on me anymore so of course I would do well and of course my grades would be better if they have made my school work easier and are just giving me answers. I don’t deserve all that credit and all those good grades. Mom and Dad finally stopped arguing and she was finally convinced Dad wasn’t drinking.
I woke up the next day to my Mom coming in my room with the phone. “Your boyfriend is on the phone,” she said. She gave me the phone and left my bedroom. “Hello?” I said. “When am I coming over?” he asked. “I don’t know,” I said. “Do you want me over there now?” “I was still sleeping.” “After ten?” I looked at my clock. It read 10:13. “Not anymore,” I said. “Good, can I come over?” “I guess.” “Good, I’ll see you there and I will bring my drum set for your brother.” Click I put the phone down after the line went dead. I had to get out of bed and get ready for him to be here. I got changed into a clean diaper and I got dressed. I also had to empty out my diaper pail so I did that. I took the bag of used diapers out of my room and put them out in the garage in the barrel. I then put in a new trash liner and put the lid back on to hold in the smell. I also made sure all my diapers in the closet were hidden in case he opened it. I stacked them against the wall and pulled the quilt off my bed and put it over them. I then made my bed and I already had another blanket on it. I then brushed my teeth and hair. I had to look nice for my boyfriend and I went back in my room and sprayed fragrance on me. I still had some diapers in the bathroom in a drawer and I put my wipes in there too and rash cream so I could change in there when Jason is here. Dad noticed the nice smell I had on when he walked out of the master bedroom. “You smell good, you’re wearing perfume now, my little girl is growing up,” said Dad. “Where did you get that nice stuff?” “Mom bought it for me at Jason’s from Mary Kay,” I said. “She bought it? So she has decided to let you wear this nice stuff. I bet it’s because you are going to be sweet 16. I can’t believe you are going to be sweet 16, you grow up so fast it feels like yesterday when you were pulled from your mother’s uterus.” “That was a long time ago,” I said. “But it feels like it was only yesterday and here you are now going to be sweet 16. You gotta quit growing. We already got one grown and now we are going to have the next one. I’ll tell you what, when your sweet 16 comes, I want to do something special. How would you like to go to work with me and skip one day of school?” “Really?” I asked. “Yes, I am serious, plenty of parents take their kids to work with them just so they can experience what a job is like. I never took you to work with me because you were too young but now I think you are old enough. Brian has went with me a few times but he wanted to be a game designer.” I felt so happy. I have never went to work with Dad and I remember all those Take Your Kid to Work Days at school and some kids would be absent because they would go to work with their mother or father. One time my fourth-grade teacher had her kid in class with her and she worked as her assistant that day because her school was also doing that day. I never went to work with Dad because I thought it would be boring so I didn’t care if I didn’t go to work with him. But now I felt ready to and I don’t think it would be boring. I would have my word search book with me and a book to read and my Game Boy. I won’t be bored and I would get to see his work place. I went downstairs and had my breakfast. Mom was up and she was working again in the living room. I put my bowl in the sink and played video games again waiting for Jason to be here. I played Blast Corps to see how many levels I could get done. I had to destroy buildings and some I had to do within a time limit.
I played through the levels and got two promotions and I was stuck on the last level because I couldn’t destroy the buildings in time to clear the pathway for the red truck carrying red pipes. I quit the game and picked out another game to play. I played Gauntlet Legends again and died before I could finish the level. There were just too many enemies.
Jason took so long coming here and I had already played three video games. I put in Goldeneye and started playing it. I felt anxious for Jason to get here. I worried he would never come. Now I wished I had his number to call. I played the game to keep my mind off him. I did the dam level and then I did the Control Center level. I put in the invincibility code before exiting the elevator. I had to take out the enemies and those drone guns. While I was playing the level, Jason finally came over and I was so excited. He and Jennifer came in through the front door and I jumped up and down and hugged Jason. “Sorry I hung up this morning,” he said. “Oh that’s fine,” I said. “Mom yelled at me about it and told me it was rude of me,” he said. “Hey let’s play some video games again,” I said. “I need to bring in the drum set first and show Matthew.” He went back out to his Mom’s car and took out his drum set from the back. “Natalie, can you help me carry this in?” he asked. I came over to him and we carried in his drum set in pieces and brought it inside. It took us a few trips and we carried it upstairs and set it up in his room. Matthew was so excited to see the drums again and he cheered and jumped up and down also. Jason took out the sticks and started to play a rhythm on his drum set. Then he had Matthew play it next. He did his own rhythm. He tapped the big drum with his foot and he tapped the cymbals with the sticks. He did it smoothly. I turned on the TV set and picked out a Sega game to play and turned the gaming system on. They played the whole time I played Castle of Illusion. I couldn’t defeat the boss on the third level with three health points so I turned it off. I was getting bored with the game anyway. That boss was so annoying because he jumps everywhere so it’s hard to bounce on him without getting hurt. “Jason, you want to play some video games now?” I asked. “Not right now,” he said. “You would rather play with my brother than with your own girlfriend?” I asked. I folded my arms and put a frown on my face and sighed hard. I even narrowed my eyes. I even made myself sound very upset. “I am teaching him how to play the drums,” said Jason. “So you just came here to teach my brother to play?” I said. “You called me this morning and I thought you wanted to be with me instead of with my brother.” “I will later,” he said. I stomped my feet and made myself huff and made myself slam the bedroom door and I made sure I looked angry. I stomped my feet and slammed my own bedroom door. No one came to my room, no one cared. Darn, me showing how I felt didn’t work. I played my Super Nintendo. I heard the drums playing in Matthew’s bedroom. Rap a tap tap rap a tap tap. I paused my game and went downstairs to get a drink of water. Jennifer was still here and she was sitting in the family room with Mom. “How are things going?” Jennifer asked me. “Jason is ignoring me and would rather play with my brother,” I said. I got a glass out of the cupboard and went to the fridge and filled it with water. “What?” Jennifer asked. “Yeah, he would rather play with Matthew on his drum set,” I said again taking a sip. “This morning he was really wanting to come here to be with you,” said Jennifer. She got up and went upstairs. “Mom, what were you and Dad like when you first met?” I asked as I sat down on the couch with her. “He always wanted to be around me,” said Mom. “He was so nice to me and always talked and he treated me like an actual human and that I mattered but it turned out our school mates were paying him to do those things. I was so mad at him but you know what, he also would get taken advantage of and he so much wanted to fit in and so he made wrong choices and he needed me.” “How did you find out he was using you?” I asked. Mom paused. “Well these guys in my school decided to be friends with me all of a sudden and they also treated me like a human and that I mattered but instead they just wanted to hurt me so they did and Dad found out and got in a fist fight with them so that told me he really did care about me and I did matter to him and he really liked me so I owed it to him.” “But how did that tell you you were being used?” I asked again. “They came over to me and told me what he was doing and asked me to ask him to explain all the new stuff he had been getting and the money to take me to prom.” “What did you and Dad do together in high school?” “He always talked to me during lunch and he started asking me to come to his house to meet his parents and then he asked me to prom and we left it because it got too much for me. When we became a couple, he always hung out at my house to see me and we both had something in common, our parents. None of them approved.” “Why?” I asked. “My mom didn’t think your father was a suitable man for me and his parents didn’t think I was good enough for their boy. We were both different and you know your father. He seems to do a good job picking the wrong group of friends and making wrong choices with them and I guess that is what made me love him, he needed someone to protect him you know and keep him away from that stuff and if he had me, he wouldn’t need anyone.” “What about his drinking?” “Lot of Brits drink, it’s part of their culture, they do social drinking and like to go to the bar but your father always took it to the next level and would always get himself drunk and have a little too much to drink but he always learned to cut back and drink normally.” Then Jennifer came down. “Natalie, he is ready to be with you now.” I got up and went upstairs. I found Jason in my room. “Sorry,” he said again. “Want to play some video games now?” I asked. “Yes,” he said. “What do you want to play?” “What do you want to play?” he asked back. “A two-player game,” I said. “Okay.” “Do you want to play the Super Nintendo or the Sega or the Nintendo 64 or we can play Rampage on the computer in my sister’s room.” “You pick.” “Okay. We can play Revolution X or Battletoads.” “Okay.” I picked Revolution X and turned the other game off. Then I remembered we didn’t have the second Super Nintendo controller anymore because Pissy had chewed it. “Oh never mind, the other controller got chewed up so we can’t do two player, we can play the Nintendo 64 instead,” I said. We went to the den and played one of the racing games together. “I can’t believe my mom is still here,” he said. “Why?” I asked. “I brought my game with, you know the one I bought she said no to?” “Oh,” I said. “I bet our moms are going to make good friends,” said Jason. “They seem to get along very well,” I said. “But my mom talks a lot and your mom doesn’t,” said Jason. “My mom sucks at conversations so she never talks back and she just listens.” We played a few games together, we played Gauntlet Legends and we both died and Jason wanted to play Blast Corps so I let him. He had to do destruction in the game and earn money for it and activate satellites to open new levels and light up all the lights on the ground and destroy everything. The game is made by the same company that made Goldeneye. I noticed I needed a clean diaper so I told Jason I would be right back. I went up to the kids' bathroom and got changed in there. Then I hid the used diaper under the sink and went back in the den. Mom finally made lunch for everyone and called everyone down. She brought the plates to us in the den and set it down next to us. “Have fun you two,” said Mom. Jason completed enough levels to open more. I ate my lunch and Jason barely ate his because he was too busy playing. I don’t know how people can just eat and not eat and do it so slowly. I always have to eat my food and not just leave it there.
Matthew played the drums all day and Jason wanted to see my room again so I took him to it. He looked at what I had and he looked at my bed and the blanket and sheet I had on it and he looked at my Teletubby and at my lamp and the clock. He looked at my books, activity books and coloring books and sticker books, and puzzles and games and stuff on my dresser like the jewelry box and the small safe where I keep my money. I also had a shelf on my wall where I kept my snow globes or music boxes I have gotten over the years as gifts. I also had a collection of TY Beanies and a chest of Happy Meal toys. He also looked at my dresser where my socks are kept and panties and plastic pants and cloth diapers. I had tossed all the diaper stuff in the closet and hid them under the blanket. “You have a lot of Happy Meal toys,” he said looking inside the toy chest. Some of the toys in there were not all Happy Meal and he also saw my keychains, even the one from McDonalds, handing down on my dresser. Then he opened the drawers and saw my short sleeve shirts and shorts and he looked in the top drawer and found my socks including Halloween and Christmas ones. He opened the other drawer and saw my underwear that were granny panties and then he pulled out a pair of plastic pants. Oh crap, I had forgotten to take those out of there. “What are these?” he asked holding a pair up. “I use them for my period to keep the blood off my clothes,” I said. “Oh, really, how smart,” and he started laughing. “Getting my period really sucks,” I said. “It gets all over my underwear and it can get onto my pants so I wear those to stop the blood and I can just wipe it out.” Then he looked in the closet and I felt very nervous so I tried to stop him. “That is just where I keep more of my clothes and stuffed animals,” I said. He looked in the trash can first and good thing I took the diapers out of there. He saw my Teen magazines in there and other stuffed animals I had from when I was a baby and up. He noticed the blanket and said, “Hey what’s under here.” “Don’t,” I shouted but too late he lifted it. “What the? Do you wet the bed or what?” “No,” I said quickly. “Then why do you have these?” he held up one of the cloth diapers. “My mom doesn’t have room to keep hers so she uses my closet for it,” I said. “Really? Your mom wears diapers?” “Yes,” I said. That wasn’t a lie. She wears them because she has troubles sensing when she has to go and she used to go on schedule but with Dad’s drinking, she has been having accidents at night time and during the day and stress makes her have accidents. Now that he has stopped, I don’t know why she is still wearing them in the day time. She is supposed to be retraining herself but I haven’t been seeing her using the toilet much. Jason picked up one of my disposable diapers and waved it around and he was laughing. “Your mom wears diapers,” he said. “I know,” I said. “It’s so funny,” he said. I put on an act pretending this was all funny and those were not mine. “Why doesn’t she have room in her room?” “I don’t know, she won’t make a spot for them so she made a spot in my closet for it,” I said. “Let’s see something.” I left my bedroom and he followed me. We went in the master bedroom and Dad was in there watching TV. “What are you guys doing?” he asked. “Just want to look in the bathroom,” I said. “Why?” “I want to see what it looks like,” said Jason. He peeked in the master closet. “Out please,” said Dad. Jason kept looking in the closet and then he said, “Hey there are more diapers in here.” “Out,” Dad ordered again. He clapped his hands at us. “Jason, out of there.” Jason left and we both left the bedroom. “You were right, she doesn’t have room for more and they have too much stuff,” said Jason. We went back in my bedroom and Jason laughed again saying “Your mom wears diapers.” “Yours wore some too,” I pointed out. I laughed back at him. “Your mommy wore diapers.” “Astronauts wear diapers too,” Jason laughed. “My old best friend is wearing them again because she got in a car accident,” I said. I was so glad Jason still didn’t know about me wearing them but I wondered how he felt about my mom wearing them and Veronica. “What do you think of diapers?” I asked. “I wouldn’t want to wear one, too gross.” “What if you had no bowel or bladder control?” I asked. “Then I would commit suicide, I am not wearing a diaper and getting poop and pee on myself.” “They have catheters,” I said. I have wondered what it would be like to use one but my parents don’t want to deal with it and I hear you have to change the tube and the bag and plus I am bowel incontinent, so I would still have to wear diapers anyway. Besides wouldn’t the bag burst open if I put too much pressure on it? I would hate to get pee all over. “Would you want to marry someone who has to wear diapers?” I asked. “Ew, no way.” “Why?” I asked. “Sick.” I then knew Jason and I would never get married but I wanted a boyfriend to be normal so I would still keep my secret. “But your momma wore them,” I pointed out. “I never saw it.” “What do you think of it?” “I never saw it so I don’t know.” “My tutor also wore pull ups because having kids weakened her bladder,” I said. “Also my mom told me it’s pretty normal to have bladder leakage when they have kids so you might be dealing with pads or pull ups if you get married and have kids. They also poop on the bed too while having the baby.” “Ew gross I am not being in there then when my baby is born,” said Jason. “My dad said my mom pooped and peed when she had Kelly and Matthew.” “Ew, can we get off this subject, this is too gross.” “Okay,” I said. We went back to playing. Jason decided on a board game so we played Bed Bugs together. I was red and he was yellow and we had to use the giant tweezers to get the bugs off the bed that matched our tweezer color. We were not keeping track of who was winning, we were just taking out our bugs. We played a few rounds and I put the game away and put it back on the shelf. “You have Don’t Wake Daddy,” said Jason. “You wanna play it or something?” I asked. “No, the thought of him popping up freaks me out because I never know when he is going to wake up. Sudden unexpected noise bothers me.” “That is why you memorize how many times you have to press the button so you know when he wakes up,” I said. “But sometimes other people press it too fast and you can’t count.” “Tell them to slow it down. I will do it slowly.” “I don’t want to play it.” We played another game instead. While we were playing, my bod decided to betray me by putting a load in my diaper. It made a little sound from the plastic moving and Jason asked, “What was that sound?” I played dumb. “What sound?” I asked. “I don’t know, it sounded like it came from here, did you hear it, it sounded like some popping sound.” “I didn’t hear it,” I said. “Maybe it was your mind playing tricks on you.” I felt anxious and I was hoping Jason wasn’t noticing I had messed myself. We kept playing the game and when we were done, I told Jason I needed to poop so I got up and went in the kids’ bathroom and locked the door. I turned on the fan and I took off my pants. I started to change. I cleaned myself up over the toilet. I got some of it on my hand. I couldn’t wash the mess off in the tub or Jason might wonder why I was showering and how would I explain it to him without telling him the real reason? I used a bunch of wipes and took a dirty towel out of the hamper and got it wet and used it to clean up the residual mess. After I was done, I put a clean diaper on. Jason kept knocking on the door. “Are you done yet?” “No,” I said. “I gotta pee so I am going in the master bathroom,” and he left me alone finally. I got finished changing and I rolled up my messy diaper and hid that under the bathroom sink too and put towels over the diapers. I threw all the messy wipes in the wastebasket by the toilet. I also cleaned up the toilet seat and washed my hands and flushed the toilet and left the bathroom. Jason came out of the master bedroom. “Does your mom throw her diapers in your room too?” he asked. “What?” I asked. “She also has an enclosed waste basket in their bathroom like you do and I opened it and it stunk badly I gagged from the smell.” “No,” I said. “She does, just go in there and look.” “No I mean she doesn’t throw them away in my room.” We got back to playing and Jason said he doesn’t think he can stand to be around my mother now knowing she could be peeing her pants or pooping. “She doesn’t poop in her diapers, she does it in the toilet,” I said. “Good.” “She is also trying to use the toilet again for her pees because I saw it marked on the calendar she keeps in her drawer in her room.” “She sure does a bad job because she has a bunch of dirty ones in there.” “She wets the bed. Maybe that is where those come from.” “There are too many of them for her to be wetting the bed or shouldn’t she be taking them out few times a week than leaving them sitting in there for days and weeks at a time?” said Jason. I went in the master bathroom and Dad was in there again and I ignored him when he asked me what I needed. I looked in their bathroom and there was the big wastebasket with a top on it. I peeked inside it and I saw a bunch of wet diapers in there and there were too many of them for them to be from night time. “Natalie, what are you doing, get out of there,” said Dad behind me. “Doesn’t Mom use the potty at all?” I asked. “She’s been too lazy,” said Dad. “I’m glad I ain’t paying for it.” “Why is she lazy to go potty?” I asked. “I don’t know, I think she got herself dependent on them and has realized re potty training isn’t very simple when you are an adult. She has always had problems knowing when she has to go but at least I get to wake up in a dry bed so this is nice and she doesn’t wake me up anymore to pee.” I went back in my bedroom. I didn’t tell Jason my Mom had been too lazy to keep trying to use the toilet for her pees. “A lot isn’t it?” he asked. “Yeah,” I said. “What would you do if your mom was wearing diapers and you found out about it?” “I don’t know.” “What if I was wearing them?” “I don’t know.”
Jason stayed until evening and then Jennifer wanted to go home so he packed up his drums and took them out to the car and put them in the back. “I want to keep playing them,” said Matthew. “I know honey but they have to leave,” said Mom. “You can make your own drum set,” Jason suggested. “You have any buckets around, use those and if you have any sticks you can use.” “I want a real drum set, can I get one?” he asked Mom. “They’re too expensive.” “Maybe for your birthday,” said Dad. “That’s too far away,” Matthew complained. “I know honey, maybe he will bring them over again or maybe he will let you come to his house,” said Mom. Jason and Jennifer left and Dad got dinner started. The doorbell rang again after Jennifer and Jason were gone and I answered it and it was random people at the door. “Hi is it too late to look at the artwork here?” the lady asked. “Mom, someone is here to see your artwork,” I shouted. Mom came in the hallway and said, “Come on in, right this way.” She went behind the sheet in the living room and the two people followed. I watched GoldenEye in the master bedroom. I looked at Mom’s calendar again and she still had that date marked on her last month’s calendar for potty training. I didn’t see anything else written about it except, “need more diapers.”
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Post by Bad Beth on Nov 4, 2017 7:55:42 GMT
Chapter 4
I woke up the next day in my bed. My diaper was soaked. I got out of bed and changed and got dressed. I headed downstairs. Mom was working in the family room again while Dad was cleaning the kitchen. “Natalie, I made some waffles, I put them in here,” he showed me. It was some pot thing and you put bread in it. I took out a plate and opened it and took out two Belgium waffles. I picked up the sugar free syrup and poured it on the waffles. “We need to go grocery shopping today,” said Dad. “Also I need to do some community service and since today is family day, we can all go out and pick up some trash. I already volunteered for it.” I ate my waffles and played video games. Kelly and Matthew also had breakfast while Dad walked Skippy. I went in the living room again and talked to Mom. “Mom, what else did you and Dad do together when you were in high school?” I asked. “This is about Jason isn’t it?” she said. “Yeah, what were you guys like together in high school? Did you ever think you would get married or be with him for the rest of your life?” “I never thought about marriage then, I was crazy about him and I always snuck out to see him because my mother wouldn’t let me go see him thinking he was a bad influence.” “Did you do any boyfriend and girlfriend stuff?” “We held hands and went on dates and he would kiss me and we always went to my special spot and would sleep together in the same bed and Dad always snuck in and would hide when I would wake up and he would stay up there until I was in the house so he could sneak down and run off.” “Did you like make out and have sex.” “I didn’t like psychical affection so no but I did have sex with your father for the first time when I was seventeen.” “Did you just think it was only temporary you two were together?” “Yes. I didn’t know he would stick around even after his family moved back to England and he decided to stay here with me and go to school and apply to work here.” “How did he react when he found out about you wearing diapers at night?” “You really are into Jason. Did he find out finally?” “Almost,” I said. “He is like me, nosy and wants to know what people have in their homes and bedrooms so he looked in my closet and looked in my diaper pail and I told him my diapers were yours and you had no room for them in your room and he bought it.” “Natalie,” said Mom. “What was I going to say?” I asked. “That I wear them?” “If you plan on staying with him for life and taking it further in your relationship, he is going to find out. How are you going to keep it hidden? Pretty soon you will be living together and what about when you share a bed?” “He thinks they’re digesting and said he would never marry someone who has to wear them,” I said. “Okay, you know now you’re not compatible.” “What did Dad say about you wearing them?” “He didn’t say anything and acted like he didn’t see it but I know he saw them because I was wearing them right out in the open. You would have to be blind." “I wish Jason would be like that,” I said. “I am sorry he isn’t but not everyone is going to find them cute.” “They’re not supposed to be cute,” I said. “I need to wear them.” “I know honey but what I mean is not all men are going to like it and will find it a turn off and they find women in underwear sexy but not in a diaper.” “Why do they need to find it sexy to like it?” I asked. “I don’t know honey, that is the way people are with sexual attraction.” “Why can’t they just ignore the diaper?” “I don’t know. Your dad thought I was cute in them so you will find a guy who will think you’re cute in them too.” “I hope so,” I said. “You will.” Mom went back to drawing and then she said again, “So are you and Jason broken up now?” “No,” I said. “You should so you can be available to another boy and not waste your time with the wrong one.” “I want to be normal.” “What’s normal? You are normal. Plenty of sixteen year olds don’t have a boyfriend and kids break up all the time. People break up all the time. That’s normal. Not having a boyfriend is also normal.” “Are you normal?” I asked. “Of course.” “What makes you normal?” “I have thoughts and feelings, a life, I raise kids, I am a housewife, I work, I have opinions like everyone else, I have emotions, I have hobbies and interests like everyone else. I have likes and dislikes just like everyone else. If everyone were the same, life would be boring.” “Did Dad ever say how he feels about diapers before he found out about yours?” I asked. “No,” said Mom. “Darn.” “You were hoping Jason would backpedal,” said Mom. “What?” I asked. “It just means taking back what they say and saying something else. You were hoping if Dad had said something negative about it and then finding out about mine and not caring about it, you were hoping you would still have a chance with Jason.” “Yeah, you read my mind,” I said. “Don’t worry, there will be a guy out there that won’t mind your absorbent underwear.” “Even if I get poop and pee everywhere?” I asked. “It washes off.” “But they might not want it on their bed.” “They make rubber sheets and sheets can be washed and replaced with clean ones. Plus you can use under pads. If a guy is bothered by all that, he isn’t the right guy.” Mom was no help. She acted like this was all no big deal. I left her art studio. I went up the stairs and Dad saw me. “What’s wrong Nat?” “Mom is no help, she acts like me wearing diapers is no big deal and if Jason breaks up with me over it.” I went in my room and Dad followed after me. “Natalie, no one stays with the same person they are with.” “Mom did,” I pointed out. Dad sat down on my bed next to me. “That’s rare, I was with one other lady before her and she was nuts, worse than your mum. You will meet guys out there and only one of them will be the one and it might take you three tries, it could take you seven, or maybe it will only take you the second time. You will even date and find someone isn’t the one so you move on and date other men. You and Jason skipped that stage and only started out as friends and then you decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend but none of you have gone out on dates so this isn’t a real relationship but it’s a start. Now you are finding out he isn’t comfortable with all the nappy stuff so you move on. That is the whole point in meeting guys and dating. You tell them everything about yourself including your disability and your medical condition to see how they feel about it before getting in a relationship with them. You and Jason both didn’t do that. I think you should get a book on dating and relationships and you can go to your local library for it. Have Mum take you.” “Dad, did you get in a relationship with Mom the right way?” I asked. “There really is no right way because it’s not black and white. We did start out as friends, we always saw each other in school and then we were seeing each other outside of school and I was taking her out so that was start. That is how it works when you go out with someone so you figure out if they are the one,” Dad replied. “How long did it take for you two to become boyfriend and girlfriend?” “I don’t know, hard to say. Neither of us decided to just be boyfriend and girlfriend, it just happened. Maybe I would say the moment we kissed we were a couple but then we were broken up and maybe the moment I got in a fist fight with these jocks in my high school for raping her.” “Raping her?” I asked. “Oh, I thought you already knew? Yeah she was so I got in a fight with those bastards and got myself suspended and your Mum stopped by and I guess that is when we were.” “Man what is it with everyone having sex with her?” I said. “First her uncle and now those kids?” “Her uncle was a sick bastard who should have been locked up and fed to the wolves and those guys deserved to get their asses beaten and your Mum was very vulnerable.” “Why did they want to rape her?” “Your great uncle just wanted to touch her because she couldn’t talk and those jocks used her innocence to lure her over to their house because they all wanted sex and they did it by being her friend and being very nice to her and treating her like she mattered and all they had to do was earn her trust so when they got it, they invited her over and instead raped her when she got there.” “Did they get in trouble?” “No Natalie they didn’t because the laws were different.” “Why?” “Back then you were just looking for sex and gave the guy the wrong message, so the judge would have told her she was looking for it when she came over to their house. Going over there was a message to them she wanted sex. Women didn’t have rights. If you had on a tight dress or a tank top and you were just walking and minding your own business when a guy came over and picked you up and took you somewhere and raped you, the judge would have told you you sent the guy the wrong message about wanting it.” “That doesn’t make sense,” I said. “No it doesn’t,” Dad agreed. “But that is what happened to your mother, she had on a short dress and a top that showed her beautiful body and her flat stomach when it happened. They would have said her being with them was her way of wanting to have sex. Women had no rights.” “I’m glad we do now right?” I asked. “Yes, things have changed but women are still being told how not to look so they won’t get raped and being told how dangerous men are and how they are out looking for sex and they will look for the signs a woman wants it.” “Why?” “There are still guys out there that see woman as objects and have no respect for them and think they should be controlled and dominated and must be protected by them and think they have no say in having sex and woman are more vulnerable to rape and abuse than men are so that is why. While women are being told how to be careful, people aren’t telling guys how to respect women and how to not rape.” “Yeah I remember you telling me Mom was telling Brian how to respect women and how to not be a rapist,” I said. Dad started to get up. “I need to get ready. Don’t feel bad about what happened between you and Jason. You will find the right guy.” ‘How do you know?” “I just do,” he said. “You will find the right one who won’t care about the nappies and will love you for you. They are just a form of knickers but they are just absorbent. It’s no different than wearing a pad and lot of women have weak bladders from having kids and go for absorbent pads.” “If that is true, then why don’t I ever find pads in garbage or sanitary napkin holders?” I said. “I only see pads or tampons.” “You look in the rubbish?” “To see who else is incontinent,” I said. “Natalie, you need to stop obsessing about this. You wear nappies, big fucking deal.” “I am just tired of being alone. Every time there is someone else out there that also wears them, they are either handicapped or an elderly and I wish it was a regular person like me.” “I am sure there are chat rooms you can go to online that are for people with incontinence.” “I go to the message board about it.” “Good.” “But it gets filled with people who want to wear diapers and don’t even need them.” “That’s the internet. I will see what I can do but for now, you just have to not worry so much about it. You are not alone. Your mom wears them, your tutor wore them, Veronica is in them.” Dad left my bedroom. I just sat in my room thinking about Jason. He still didn’t know about my diapers but I didn’t like what he said about my mother and diapers.
Later Dad told everyone to get ready and we were all going to pick up some trash along the interstate. “Natalie, you better change your nappy,” said Dad. “Why?” I asked. “Because there are not going to be any toilets unless you want to change in the car.” I changed my diaper and put a clean one on. I didn’t bother packing any extra diapers since we were just picking up trash and then we would be home. I left my bedroom and went out to the car. I waited for everyone. They were taking so long so I got out of the car again and went inside. I looked around and went upstairs. Kelly came out of the bathroom. I looked in the master bedroom and no one was in here and I opened the bathroom door and saw Mom standing right there with her pants off. Her diaper was soaking wet. "Natalie," she cried. "Oh sorry," I shut the door quick. Gladys is right, I am selfish, I didn’t think to knock. "What is taking everyone sop long?" I shouted in the hallway. I went in my room and I was so annoyed I quit what I was doing when I could have just stayed doing it until it was time to leave for real. I just studied my TY Beanies and then Dad told me we were leaving. "For real this time?" I asked. "Yes," said Dad. I took my coat off my bed and put it on. "You're not bringing any nappies with?" Dad asked. "You said there won't be any bathrooms." "You can always change in the car." "Not messy ones and I don't like changing in the car." "Suit yourself." We all went out to the car and Mom had a bad with her. "Natalie's not bringing any nappies," Dad told Mom. "Natalie, you should," said Mom. "There won't be any bathrooms," I said. Mom got out of the car again and went back in the house. She came out with few of my diapers and wipes and dumped them between the front seats. Mom started the car and everyone put their seat belts on. Dad told Mom where to go. He hit the button to close the garage door as we left. When we got to the freeway Mom went north a little bit and pulled to the side and there were some other people there. We got out of the car and cars drove by fast. "Matthew, stay away from the road," Mom shouted. I noticed cars were slowing down as they were driving by. Because it was cloudy out, we couldn't see Mount St. Helens or Mount Adams. I couldn't see Mount Hood either. Dad checked in with a man and he gave him a special shirt to wear over his top. Dad went to the other people who were wearing the same thing while Mom, Kelly, Matthew, and I were all directed towards the other people who were not wearing that special top. Dad was given a bag and a stick and he started to pick up the trash. We were all given a bag and stick to put trash in. I saw they had other kids here too and none of them looked no younger than age six. I started to pick up some pop cans and food wrappers. "Ew, a diaper," Kelly cried. "Is it a baby one?" Mom asked. "Yeah, it’s a baby one," said Kelly. “Pick it up.” “Ew, I am not touching that thing.” I was picking up trash when another girl about my age started talking to me. "What did your Dad do?" "Drove under the influence and crashed his car into a bank," I said. "I'm Trisha and I am here because my brother got caught smashing mail boxes with his friends so they all got sentenced to 500 hours of community service. He is over there picking up garbage." She pointed and I looked and saw people picking up trash with my Dad. I didn’t know which young person was her brother. "How old is he?" I asked. "Fourteen. He is also grounded at home too because Mom is mad at him." "My mom was mad at my Dad and he ruined Christmas for us and changed our dinner time," I said. "Ow, that sucks. Did you still get presents?" "Only money," I said. "How much?" "One hundred and fifty dollars." "That's a lot." "That can only get me three Nintendo 64 games." "You can get things cheaper so you get more. What is your name?" Trisha asked. "Natalie." "Natalie. Oh. Where do you go to school?" "Vancouver." "I hope you mean Washington." "I do. What about you?" "Castle Rock." “What grade are you in?” “Tenth.” “Me too,” I said. “How old are you?” Trisha asked. “I will be sixteen this month.” “Me too,” she said. “When?” I asked. “On Valentine’s Day.” “You’re a week older than me,” I said. “So your birthday is the twenty first.” “Close, I was born the same day as Drew Barrymore.” “You share a birthday, she is ten years older.” “I know.” “You said you were born the same day, that would mean you were born when she was born but she had already been born when you were born.” “I liked her in Scream and I didn’t even notice she played in ET until I looked her up on Internet Movie Database. I also didn’t notice she played in that other movie where she took her parents to court and both couple fight and they grab her playing tug of war with her at the pool.” “You mean that movie when she divorced her parents and had her nanny be her legal guardian.” “Yeah,” I said. “That movie used to be on all the time when I was little. I didn’t even notice that little girl was in ET as Elliot’s little sister. I read she was chosen to play Sidney Prescott but she decided to play Casey instead because she thought it would be more fun and she had the director tell her sad stories about animals being abused because she is an animal lover in real life and that was how she cried in the movie. She had the director tell her stories about some guy hurting his dog to make her upset so she would cry in the scene.” “That is the whole part of professional acting.” “Yeah," I agreed. "I can give myself real tears too if I think of anything that upsets me or think of something sad. Then I will be crying.” We kept picking up trash and then she said, "Do you hate it when people litter?" "Yeah but at least it gives people something to do when they get in trouble with the law," I said. "Doesn't mean it should be justified." Trisha was another skinny girl and she had long brown hair and had braces on her teeth and she wore glasses like my father. She had tiny breasts and a small butt. I wished my body looked good as hers. I still look fat and my thighs are still too big and my butt and I hate having large breasts. I followed her around picking up trash and I asked her if she seen the movie Goldeneye. “I have,” she said. “Ever played the game?” I asked. “We have it.” “What do you think is better, the movie or the game?” “I think the game.” “Yeah,” I agreed. “But too bad Natalya is stupid in the game.” I started talking about it and she just listened and I asked her questions about it. I was so glad to have made another friend my age even if it’s only for now. Then she said she was going to go over to her mom and her little brother. I followed her. I talked to her little brother who said he was nine. I talked about James Bond with him and then Zelda. I felt pressure building up in my butt and then poop escaped into my diaper. It felt like a big one and I felt the back of my diaper expanding. I could feel the mess in my pelvis area too. I noticed a smell. “Who farted?” Trisha’s little brother asked. I didn’t say anything and I walked away from them so they wouldn’t noticed it was coming from me. Mom had her earplugs in her ears as she was picking up the trash. We were working our way down the freeway looking for trash people like to throw out their window in the grass. I even found a small bag filled with trash so I picked it up and put it in the bag. “Natalie, did you poop?” Mom asked in my ear. “Yes,” I said. “Okay, let me know when you want changed.” “What? You’re not going to make me get changed?” I asked. “You’re almost sixteen so if you want to stay in that messy diaper, that is up to you. It’s not harming anyone but yourself.” “How is it going to harm me?” “You can get yourself an infection and people might not want to smell it around you so if you want to take that consequence, it is your choice.” We kept picking up trash and I could still feel the squishy mess inside. Matthew came over to us and said he had to go to the bathroom. “There are no bathrooms here so you either are going to have to hold it or pee in one of our diapers,” said Mom. “No,” said Matthew. He walked away. I kept picking up trash and my tummy grumbled for food. I saw Trisha’s family leaving. “They’re leaving,” I pointed. Mom didn’t say anything. “I’m hungry, how much longer?” I asked. “I don’t know,” said Mom. I noticed some people would leave too and then I saw the same cars pull back to the side of the road on the other side and they would get out of their cars with Taco Bell bags ands cups or McDonalds or Carl's Jr. and unknown food. “Mom, they got food, why can’t we leave to get some food?” I asked. “I didn’t bring any money,” she said. I saw Matthew on the ground and he was squatting. I then saw him stand up. Then he was adjusting his pants. “Mom, I really have to pee,” said Kelly. “Use one of our diapers if you have to go that bad,” said Mom. Kelly didn’t say anything else. Then Dad came over to us and said he was going to be taking a potty break with the rest of the group. He walked with the rest of the group. “Okay, kids, let’s go back to our car and we’ll also take a potty break,” said Mom. “Can we go home to eat?” Kelly asked. “I’m starving.” “Okay,” said Mom. We walked back to our car and got in. Mom got the car started and she got back on the freeway and got off at the next exit. She got back on the freeway and went home the other way. “Mom, I really gotta pee,” said Kelly. "We’re going home, you can pee there. If you can’t hold it, pee in one of Natalie’s diapers,” said Mom picking up one of my diapers and tossing it in the backseat at her. Kelly threw it on the floor. “I am not peeing in it.” “Okay, you will have a mess to clean up then if you can’t hold it.” “Mom, just because you are both wearing them doesn’t mean everyone else wants to pee in one.” “I think it’s practical,” said Mom. “I think it’s gross,” said Kelly. We got off at our exit and Mom took us home. Kelly went to the bathroom right away. “Matthew, aren’t you going to go?” Mom asked. “I already went.” “What? When?” “When we were picking up garbage, I got on the ground and pulled my pants down a little and took my penis out and peed right on the ground and put my penis back in and pulled my pants back up and got off the ground.” “Matthew, public urination is a crime.” “No one saw me, the grass was too tall and I was very close to the ground.” “Natalie, you better change,” said Mom. I went upstairs to the kids’ bathroom and changed my diaper. I washed the mess off my bottom and push rash cream on and put a clean diaper on. Then I used toilet paper to get the rest of the mess out of the tub and I washed the rest down. I washed my hands and dried them off. Mom made us some lunch and we all ate and then Mom headed upstairs. She came back down. She sat down and ate with us. “Do we have to go back?” Kelly asked. “Yes, I am not sure if Dad will be fine with if we stayed here,” said Mom.
We got finished eating and we got back in the car and left again. Mom took us back to the freeway to the spot we left at. The van was back but this time on the other side of the freeway. We all saw Dad again. He was picking up garbage and putting it in the bag. I saw Trisha and her family again. “I thought you guys left,” I said. “We had to eat and got to the bathroom,” she said. We worked together again and talked. We talked about out hometowns and she thought I lived in Vancouver because of where I go to school. I told her we live in Saltwater and I used to go there but got kicked out for mimicking a scene from Goldeneye. "Really? Which scene?" "When Xenia is trying to kill James Bond with her thighs in the sauna going "yes, yes." "Oh when she is trying to kill him with her thighs," said Trisha. "Yeah. I always loved when she screamed yes yes." I mimicked her tone and Mom said, "Natalie." "What?" I asked. Mom just gave me a look and went back to working. "She hates that scene heh?" said Trisha. "I guess," I said. We all picked up garbage and then everyone wrapped up to go. How we did it was, we would walk down the freeway picking up garbage and then go back to the car and then move the car down a little ways and pick up more trash we find. Dad met up with us again after checking in with the guy and he handed him back his uniform and stick and bag. We got in the car and headed on the freeway again for the next closest exit. “Dad, please tell Mom how messed up it all is when she tries to get us to pee in diapers and not let us have a potty break,” said Kelly. Dad looked at Mom. “What happened? Would you not let her go potty?” “There were no bathrooms Glen and we were going home to eat so I figured she could hold it and if not, we have diapers,” said Mom. “She's right Kelly,” said Dad. “Dad,” Kelly cried. “Kelly if you feel you can’t hold it, you can use diapers as an emergency.” “I am not peeing in a diaper,” Kelly argued. “Then you should have gone before we left.” “I didn’t have to go then.” “We warned you there will not be any toilets.” “I didn’t think it would be that long.” Kelly didn't say anything else and when we got off at our exit, Dads told Mom to stop at Safeway so we can get some groceries. We all got out of the car but Mom stayed. We went inside and Dad got a shopping cart and started getting some food. Matthew was grabbing things off the shelf and showing it to Dad saying, "Daddy I want this." "Put it back," Dad said. Matthew would put it back and grab another item and do the same thing and finally Dad told him, "Matthew, if you do not stop taking things off shelves, I will send you back to the car." He stopped and pointed to item instead asking he wanted it. "Matthew, what did I say?" "No taking things off shelves." "I do not want you pestering me about what you want to get, it's my money so I get to decide what we are getting. Keep bothering me about it, I will send you to the car." Matthew stopped and his body slumped and his head hung down and he had a funny frown. Dad got the food and the cart got full. He skipped on desserts and snacks and said we needed to save on food and no one is allowed to snack and if we run out of food too soon, that means we had eaten too much and we would all have to go without food until we go grocery shopping again. "Dad, we are growing and kids need to eat a lot," said Kelly. "I don't care, we are on a tight budget so we need to eat wisely and if you are so hungry Kelly, go buy your own food." "I can't even drive." "You can ride your bike." "I can leave the neighborhood now?" "You know to stay off the road and if you are so hungry you can't wait until dinner or one meal doesn't fill you up, go buy your own snacks and put your name on it," said Dad. "You will get to burn all that body fat," I said. "Just think about it. Then you will be thinner." Kelly just looked at me with open mouth huffing. What was her problem? When he got finished grocery shopping, we went to the checkout line. "Kids, help me put the food on," said Dad. I started to unload the shopping cart. Kelly helped too and she did it with an attitude. Matthew did it with a normal attitude. After we were done, I just looked at the claw machine at the front entrance. Matthew was looking at the egg machine and at the tattoo and sticker machine. Then Dad came with the cart with bought groceries. “Dad, do you have a quarter?” Matthew asked. “No you are not getting any from the machine,” said Dad. “It’s only 50 cents.” “No,” Dad said again. Matthew folded his arms and went “Humph” frowning. We headed out to the car. Dad opened the gate and put the food in and Mom came out and helped while us kids waited in the car.
After they were done, they closed the gate and got in and we went home. When we got home, Mom made us all carry in the food with them. We wet it on the counter and it took us a few trips and Mom and Dad put the food away. My diaper was wet again so I had to change. With these diapers, when I pee, it spreads all over and they hold a lot and hold my messes well. But the problem is, it sometimes makes the inside bunch up and it gets uncomfortable and they sag so I have to wear my underwear over them to hold them close to my skin. I am glad I never got rid of these yet. I changed in the bathroom again and I put more of my diapers in there in the drawer with a tub of wipes and rash cream.
I saw Jason in school the next day. He said hi to me and I was glad we were still together. We hung out again and we sat together at lunch. Then he said he needed to show me something so after we got done eating, he took me to a private area behind the cafeteria. We were in some closet together that wasn't locked and it had equipment in it for cleaning. "What did you want to show me?" I asked. "Look over there," he pointed. I looked and he yanked down my pants and grabbed me there feeling my diaper. "What are you doing?" I screamed as I pushed him. "You do wear them," he said. I pulled my pants back up. "What is your problem?" I yelled. "I wanted to see if you wore them?" "So why didn't you just ask?" I said. "You would've just denied it like you did at your house and you blamed it all on your mother." "That is because I didn’t want you to know about me wearing them. Are we broken up now?" I asked folding my arms. "I need time to think, I'll let you know," and he left the closet. I still felt upset about what he did. I left the closet and Jason didn’t see me again and he didn’t talk to me during PE or in Geography or in Drama.
When school ended, Jennifer showed up again and I told her what her son did to me during lunch. She looked at Jason with her mouth open and said, “Did you pull her pants down?” “I was curious,” he cried. “Come with me right now young man,” she scolded. She took him out of the classroom and they were gone for a while. Mom came and I told her what Jason did. “I am going to have to tell his mother, that was so uncalled for,” she said. “I already told her and she took him out of the room,” I said. “Good, I am glad it’s taken care of. So what happened when he did it?” “I will tell you after we go home,” I said. “I don’t want to talk about it in front of everyone.” Mom dropped it and she was working on the set again. Mom was wearing some cotton pants and a long sleeve cotton shirt. She bent down to pick up the pencil she dropped, and the waist band of her diaper showed. I felt embarrassed. But no one seemed to notice because no one said anything. Mom stood back up and her shirt went down again. Jennifer and Jason came back and he apologized to me for pulling down my pants. “Okay,” I said. Jennifer painted the set Mom drew while I just painted it also with her and Jason was busy making props. Then Jennifer asked Mom, “Do you have problems with public restrooms too?” “I don’t like the sound of toilets flushing but that is life,” said Mom. “Especially those automatic flushing ones, I hate those.” “Me too,” said Jennifer. “So you avoid using the public restrooms too?” “No.” “I do. They are so disgusting.” Then Jennifer said something in her ear and then Mom looked like she was upset because she was pulling at her shirt, her face was real red, and then was tying her sweater around her waist. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” said Jennifer. “I thought you had the same problem as me.” Then she was talking in her ear again. “Does your son know about it?” Mom asked. “No, I don’t think so. I haven’t worn them in five years but sometimes I feel I just want to put one on so I wouldn’t have to get up to use the bathroom.” “I wonder how Jason would react to that if you were doing it?” I said. “You should do it again and see what he does when he finds out.” That might show him and he might get used to diapers after all because his mom would be wearing them too. Then Jason would be okay with mine and we can stay boyfriend and girlfriend. “How do you even go pee when you are at work?” said Mom. “I hold it and not drink any coffee,” said Jennifer. “Besides the restrooms here aren’t really disgusting so I was fine using it here. It’s just public restrooms I have troubles with because people pee on the seats and I don’t know who has been on it and here I know people so I know who uses the toilet and they have a staff toilet. But out in public I just hold it and I am never gone that long and I don’t need to go very often during the day.” Mom then left the classroom to take a break and Jennifer and I talked. I asked her what she said to Mom that got her so upset and she said she noticed the top of her underwear showing and thought she also had issues with public restrooms too and then asked her if she had bladder issues or something and told her she noticed her underwear. "Why are you calling it underwear?" I asked. "Because we're out in public and they are like underwear. You wear them." "How come you don't wear them anymore?" "I don't need to." "I think you should for Jason. He pulled my pants down so for his punishment you should wear them just to show him and he said my mom was gross because he thought she also poops her pants and said he didn't think he could be around her anymore because she could be pooping and peeing her pants." "He said that? That was mean. I will talk to him about it." "Did you poop and pee in them too when you wore them?" "I only wet them sometimes but never pooped." "How did you poop then if you had to go and you were not home?" "Fortunately, that only happened when I was home and if I had to go bad, I would use the restroom and squat to go without touching the seat." "What about pee?" "I held it until I had to go bad and then I would have to go change. I always kept them in my car and the rest in my bedroom." "Didn't Jason ever see them?" "He did once and I told him it was just a gag gift for someone and I said I wore them for my heavy bleeding when I am having my period." "And how did he react?" "Nothing." "So he was fine with it and didn't think you were gross. He told me he would commit suicide if he had to wear them." "Jason," she sighed shaking her head. Then Mom came back and went back to working.
When it was time to go, Mom and I headed home. I assumed Jennifer was now talking to Jason about his issues with diapers and what he said about them. I still thought a perfect punishment for him would be his own mother wearing them and pooping and peeing in them to teach him a lesson.
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Post by Bad Beth on Nov 8, 2017 23:56:12 GMT
Chapter 5
Jason avoided me for the rest of the week. I even asked him on Wednesday morning when I got to school if he hated me and he said he still needed time to process everything. So I just went to Allie instead when I saw her. I said hi to her and she said hi back. “Ever since Jason has found out I wear diapers, he has been acting very strange,” I said. “How did he find out?” I told her what Jason did and she opened her mouth saying, "He's a jerk." "And now he is avoiding me," I said. "Screw him, there are other guys in the world," she said. "Yeah," I agreed. "I just hope he will still be my friend even if we aren't boyfriend and girlfriend anymore." "You rather be friends with someone who is a diaperphobic?" Allie asked. "I am hoping he will come around," I said. "You were one when we first met and now you like them now." "I know. I thought you are so lucky to wear them and they got taken away when I stopped wetting the bed." "You wet the bed? When?" I asked. "Till I was eight and then I started to be dry every night. A week after my birthday, I started waking up dry and then Mom decided I didn't need to wear them anymore and she took them away. I have missed them ever since and I thought I was the only one in the whole world who wanted to wear them and then I discover on the internet there are a bunch of people who like it. I always took one whenever I saw them." "You need to stop," I said. "I can't. I always have to take one and it's so hard not to. It's like telling you to not eat ever again. You can't." "But we need food to live, you can live without diapers." "But then the urges just get stronger and stronger and they are so hard to ignore," said Allie. "So I take some whenever I can and now they keep the cabinets locked in the nurse's office or don't keep them in there anymore. Now I take some from stores." "You really need to tell your mother and maybe she will just buy you a pack," I said. "I can't or she might make me wear them all the time again and I can't have that." "Tell her you have a diaper addiction issue and maybe she will help you treat it." "Diaper addiction?" Allie said. "You make it sound like I am doing drugs." "Well that is what it is isn't it, except it's with diapers? Isn't it how drug users are? They steal peoples medicine for drugs, they steal things for money to get drugs. There is also such thing as a gambling addiction or a shoplifting addiction and there are people who are alcoholics which is also an addiction to alcohol.” “Oh, so you think I am a diaper addict,” said Allie. “You are. You need help.” “Well I can’t tell anyone or else my mom might make me wear them all the time again and you can’t tell anyone, promise?” “Just tell her how much of an issue this is and she might help you than punish you,” I said. “Well she didn’t help me when she found them in my room,” said Allie. “Maybe because she doesn’t know you have a diaper problem, when my parents found out Brian was doing drugs, they took them all away and my mom always checked his room for drugs and she and Dad got him into therapy and they also put him in a hospital when he threatened suicide.” Then the bell rang and Allie shouted again “Promise?” but I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to make that promise. She was stealing and she needed serious help.
Jason even avoided me in Spanish because he didn’t talk to me and he acted like I didn’t even exist. I felt upset by it and was hoping he would come around. I needed to change my diaper again so I was looking in my book at the words seeing how to say change in Spanish and diaper in Spanish. I saw the baby items and it was panal for diaper. Cambier for change. Puedo ir el bano is Can I go to the bathroom so it would be puedo ir cambier mi panal. I got out of my seat and walked up to the teacher and said, "Peudo ir cambier mi panal?" "Que?" He asked. That means 'what' in Spanish. I asked him the same question again in Spanish. "Que fue eso?" he asked. "Que?" I asked. I couldn’t understand why he was so confused. I thought he knew Spanish. "I know what you are trying to ask," he said. "Si se puede ir. Yes you may go." I grabbed my special pass and left the classroom. I went to the nurse's office but I grabbed my diapers on the way. I went in there and I saw Joann again. "Natalie, I am glad to see you. I have something here." Joann reached for something and she had a folded piece of paper in her hand. "This is from someone you wanted to meet." I took it from her hand and headed to the private bathroom. I unfolded the paper and it read
"I am also incontinent and have to wear diapers. I am in my last year of high school here and I wear a black coat and find me at lunch at table five and ask if I left you a note."
There was no name but someone had finally responded to my request to meet other incontinent kids at this school. I got so excited. I wanted to find this kid in lunch. I changed my diaper and threw it away and washed my hands and headed back to class.
I looked for the kid when lunch time came. I got my food and looked for table number 5. I passed tables with signs that were clubs schoolmates formed. I passed the table where The Urotsukidoji sat. I used to be friends with them but they tried to get me to something bad and make me turn against Jason. But now I wasn't caring anymore if they said bad things about him and told me how abnormal he is. I found the table that was numbered 5. I looked for the black coat kid. Maybe I will be his girlfriend and we can be an incontinent couple. That would replace Jason. I didn’t see any kid at the table with a black coat. Maybe there is another table five, so I looked. I walked around the cafeteria and my tummy grumbled for food. I couldn’t find another table five so I looked at table five again. Maybe he took it off. I looked around the table for coats on the seats. Maybe he wasn’t wearing it for lunch. I would have to ask. I felt very nervous walking over there and asking them if they wrote me a letter. I looked at my paper again and it said to ask if he left me a note. I hate it when I get so shy. I really wanted to meet another incontinent kid. I kept looking at the kids and then I sat down at another table. I felt so disappointed. I decided I would just write a note back and give it to Joann to give to the kid. I ate my food and put the tray in the kitchen and went to the nurse’s office. I got a piece of paper and pen and wrote a note.
My name is Natalie and I couldn’t find you at lunch because you didn’t have on a black coat. Please come talk to me.
I waited for Joann to get back and I saw her come back with her lunch. “Joann, I need you to give this to the kid who gave me a note because he didn’t show up at lunch,” I said. “Can I see it?” she asked. I gave her to her and she opened it and read it. “I haven’t given her your name.” “Her? I thought it was a boy. But please tell her my name then,” I said. “Okay, I will.” “Thank you,” I said and left. “Natalie?” she called. I stopped and went back. "Yeah?” “She won’t know what you look like.” I got another piece of paper and wrote “My name is Natalie and I couldn’t find you at lunch so please have your coat next time you described in your note. I will be wearing my black and pink winter jacket and I have blonde hair and big boobs.” I folded it and gave it to Joann. “Here, I changed my note so you can give her this one and throw the other one away.” Joann took it from me and I left.
Jason still didn’t talk to me for the rest of our classes and he didn’t even talk to me after school. I talked to Jennifer again. “Jason has been ignoring me,” I said. “I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s because of my diapers. Maybe you should wear them again and use them just so he will accept it.” “Natalie, I am not going to force him to like something. Everyone has their own preferences they like in someone and he doesn’t think he can handle loss of bodily functions. He is very grossed out by those things and he even hated diapers when he was a baby and never liked being wet or messy. I am sorry. I already talked to him about his behavior because of the way he handled it and I told him it’s not your fault and he doesn’t think he can handle it.” “We don’t need to stay together forever and get married,” I said. “I know. I did tell him he is going to have to be nice to you about it but I can’t force him to be your friend.” “He can’t be a bigot about people with incontinence,” I said. “He is not being a bigot. He can choose who he wants to be friends with.” “But you need to teach him to not be a bigot because what is next? Not being friends with someone because they are black?” “It’s not the same.” “Oh by the way, Jason bought that South Park game you said no to. He showed it to me,” I said. “It’s not nice to try and get someone in trouble,” said Jennifer. “But he disobeyed you,” I pointed out. “I know you are hurt by his rejection but there is nothing I can do about it. If I try and force him, that will just cause resentment. You can’t force someone to be with someone and then both of you will be very unhappy” “You can still at least teach him to not hate incontinent people.” “My son does not hate you.” “He wouldn’t be ignoring me if he didn’t.” Mom came back from her break and she worked on the set again. Mom and Jennifer talked again. Then when it was time to leave, everyone packed up and Mom and I left. “Natalie, you need to let Jason go,” said Mom. She put her seatbelt on. “You know what you are dealing with? A break up. What you are feeling is very normal. This is called the reality of dating and then you get dumped. This is all normal stuff and it happens to everyone.” “It never happened to you,” I pointed out. “Okay, it happens to most people. When you date boys and get boyfriends, break ups are going to happen. Then soon you get over it and move on.” “I just want him to be my friend, not dump me over my medical condition,” I said. “I know honey but we can’t force him to be your friend. How would you feel if we told you you had to be friends with Michael Scott?” “He was always mean to me,” I said. “I never was to Jason.” “Jason does not feel comfortable with your medical problem. That is what Jen told me. He has a fear of poop and pee and can’t stand to see the sight of it.” “How does he even use the bathroom then,” I said. “His own is different, he can stand seeing his but not others. Would you want to wear someone’s wet diaper?” “No,” I said. “See, sick isn’t it, that is how he feels about diapers.” “But he isn’t wearing it,” I said. “I know.” “He can’t even see my poop and pee if it’s inside my diaper.” “But he knows you poop and pee in them.” “I still think he hates incontinent people.” “You need to talk to Stan about it,” said Mom. Stan is Dr. Harding. We headed home in silence.
The next day was still the same. Jason still didn’t speak to me and he just ignored me like I wasn’t here. I decided he hated incontinent people. I didn’t need incontinent bigots or any diaper bigots. I hated him now. I was now going to pretend he didn’t exist. I bet that would show him how much he had hurt me and how mad I am at him. I fantasized telling everyone he hated incontinent people and then everyone hated him for his bigotry. That would be the best lesson ever to teach him but if I did that, then I would have to tell everyone about my medical problem. If he did tell everyone about it, I would tell everyone he hates incontinent people and he said my mom was disgusting because she wears them too.
I finally got to meet the person at lunch because I was sitting at a table by myself when another girl sat down across from me. I didn't recognize her at first. "She said, "Hi" and I said hi back. She had dark brown long hair and normal sized breasts and she had bigger arms than me and bigger legs. "You wrote me a note," she said. "You're the black coat girl?" I asked. "Yeah I took it off and forgot I put it in the note." "So do you know any other kids in this school who are like us?" I asked. "Yeah, I know all of them but we have nothing in common. Joann told me someone wanted to meet others like her, now you have." "So what type do you have? Just leakage where you drip pee or the type when you gotta go, you gotta go, or do you have complete loss of control of everything?" I asked. "Of everything, my stepfather used to shove things up there when I was little, he is in prison now." "Why did he do that?" "I don't know. That's what I wonder all the time. Why are you incontinent?" "Car accident." "Both?" "What?" I asked. "I mean for poop and pee." "Yes." "How do you feel about wearing them?" I asked. "I wish I didn't have to." "Does anyone here know you wear them?" "Yeah and no one cares. They only care if you care." "You mean no one teases you about it or gets mad at you about it?" "No here cares about that stuff and they have zero tolerance for bullies." "Cool," was all I said. "But has anyone ever been mean to you about it before?" "Oh yeah but lot of them don't care, only the ones who do care are the ones who know it bothers you and you let it bother you. If you don't let it bother you, they will get bored and move on to something else. I'll give you a tip, kids here might make comments about it if they find that out about you but if you don't say anything and don't react, they will quickly move on and pretty soon they will say nothing at all. If you act like it's normal, they will act like it's normal." "This is a weird school," I said. "Why? Because we're all a bunch of nutsos and have mental issues?" "No, just kids here not caring. At my old school, kids were mean to me about me being different and about my medical problem and here they don't care you're saying and will leave me alone." "Maybe 'cause you let it bother you so they made a big deal about it knowing it will get to you and they saw your weakness and used that against you. That is what bullies do and no one teaches us about bullies and how to deal with them. They will give out Driver's Ed and parenting classes and finances and sexual ed and finding a job but not about dealing with bullies. Life is full of assholes and no one teaches us in school how to handle them." "Have you ever lost a boyfriend because they didn't like you needed to wear them?" I asked. "I tell anyone before that even happens," she said. "How does that work?" That made no sense. "If a guy wants to take me out, I tell them I wear them and I see if they still want to take me out and if not, I haven't wasted my time." "Have you gotten a boyfriend yet?" "No." "Is it because of them?" "Maybe." "Are you worried a guy will never want to marry you?" "No." I kept eating my food while she ate hers. I looked under the table to see if it looked like she had one on. She had on jeans and it looked like she had a penis. I wondered if it looked like I had one too. "Do you have any friends?" I asked. "Yes." "Do they know you wear them?" "Yes and they don't care." "Have your diapers ever been stolen?" "I keep them in my locker so it won't happen." "But were any ever taken before you started keeping them in there?" "I think so and once I heard someone was taking them, I started keeping mine in my bag." "What do you think of people who want to wear diapers but don't need to wear them?" I asked. "What?" She asked. "Some people want to wear diapers and they don't have the same problem as we do, they just want to wear them? What do you think?" "There are different sorts of incontinence. Not everyone has complete loss of control." "No, these people don't have anything wrong with them, they just want to wear them. We have a girl in our school who does so she kept taking our diapers and I caught her and I know her because my brother is her sister's boyfriend. She thinks we're so lucky we get to wear them and she can't stop taking them." "She would rather pee uncontrollable and poop? What is she smoking?" the girl said. "Nothing," I said. "That was a figure of speech. She is very weird." "What do you think of diaper wannabees in general?" "I don't know. Maybe they got medical issues too." "Do you ever wish adult diapers had pictures on them too like baby diapers?" "No." "Why not?" "We're not babies." "But underwear has pictures on them so why can't adult diapers?" "Adult panties don't have pictures," she said. "Yes they do, I have seen them. Some have flowers on them and some have patterns and I have seen some with seven days of the weeks on them and words and other pictures," I said. "It would be cool if they did the same with adult diapers than making them just different colors with lines and some letters. Do you ever wished they all looked a lot like baby diapers?" "Just as long as they are practical, I don't care how they look." "Do you ever wear underwear over yours?" "Yes. I also use plastic ones to hold in the smell and the leaks." I was already done eating but I stayed talking to her. I was so happy to meet another person like me. “Do you ever worry about people finding out?” I asked. “Used to,” she said. “When did you stop?” “Maybe few years ago.” “What age?” “I don’t know. “How old were you when you got incontinent?” “Five.” “Does the nurse ever change you?” “No.” “Why?” “Because I know how to do it myself.” “How do you clean up your messes?” “Very carefully.” “But isn’t it hard?’ “It gets easier.” “Was it ever hard?” “Yes.” “Does anyone still change you?” “No.” “Does your mom dress you every morning?” “She still tries to baby me because she feels so guilty for what happened and she still blames herself.” “Why?” “Because of what her ex-husband did and she thinks she should have protected me.” “Why didn’t she protect you?” “She didn’t know it was going on because I never told her. She’s got some mental issues now because of it.” I pictured her mother being crazy. Then she got up to dump her tray so I followed her and did the same with mine and we gave our trays to the lady in the kitchen. I looked at her bottom again and her bottom was big too like mine. She had on jeans and it looked like she had a penis and her bottom was all puffy. I always wore loose pants with elastic in the waist or long shirts or a bathing suit under shirts that won’t go to my bottom. “Does it bother you to have your bottom looking like that, it looks like you have a big penis,” I told her. “No. People don’t even care. I am not going to stress about people noticing one on me and no one cares if you wear them. Go wear any pants you feel comfortable in and not worry about your butt or your crotch.” “What about if they are exposed?” “They have clothes for that.” “Like what?” “They make onsies you can wear so they won’t show.” “You mean like babies wear?” I asked. “Yes. But it’s medical and made for people with incontinence or who have developmental disorders or Alzheimer’s so they won’t try and take their diapers off and it’s to keep your diapers from showing.” “I always wore a bathing suit,” I said. “That works. They also make locking pants for them too so they can’t take them off.” I have heard of locking pants and I thought it was only in the adult baby stories I would read online. “What do they look like?” “They just lock at the top and it has a keyhole on it and they can’t be pulled down unless you have the key.” “Does everyone know you have a diaper on without you telling them and if you never told them you are incontinent?” I asked. “Don’t care,” she said. “They have never said anything. Did you notice before you knew?” “No,” I said. “So they probably don’t either. Look, diapers only get in your way because of your anxiety. You worry others know and they can tell you have one on and you think people will laugh at you and embarrass you but that is only your anxiety doing it and it’s not your medical condition.” “But kids have done that to me in the past?” I pointed out. “And that is what bullies do, only bullies do that and like I say, if you make a big deal about it and react to it and show that you care, they will care and if you don’t care and not have a reaction to your problem, they will get bored and find something else to bother you about. All they want is a reaction and just as long as you keep reacting, they will keep on doing it. If you’re relaxed about it, don’t care what others think or even worry about others knowing, they will move on and find something else. Bullies are always looking for a reaction and it’s not the diapers, they use those to get you to react. Bullies live off attention and if you don’t feed them, they will go away. Reacting to them is like giving them food. Think of what people do, when a place has no food, they go somewhere else, if you don’t feed the ducks or any wild animals, they won’t get dependent on humans, bullies will go somewhere else for a reaction or find something else to make fun of you about because they’re hunting.” I followed her around and she was with her friends. She introduced me to them and said I wanted to meet another person with her problem down there. It was just three other girls our age. I assume they were all older because she was a senior so she had to be seventeen or eighteen and all these kids must be that age too. I got to learn her name and it was Ashland. Her friends were Colleen, Stephanie, and Amy. When Ashland mentioned I have the same problem as her, none of them said anything about it. Only “Oh, I see.” “Just don’t tell anyone about it,” I said. “Why would we do that? They’re just underwear,” said Stephanie. “So why do all of you come here?” I asked. “Did you get kicked out of your other school or what and what are your problems?” “My biological mother did drugs so my memory is affected and that affects my learning,” said Amy. “Learning,” said Stephanie. “Same,” said Colleen. “I’m here for obvious reasons I have down there,” said Ashland. “Why would you need to go to school here for that if that is all you have?” I asked. “My other school wouldn’t accommodate me about it so it made my education hard so I come here. I still go to normal high school for some classes.” “Like what?” I asked. “Finances, government, employment, high schools teach all that so you can get ready to be an adult and know how to get a job and how to do a resume and how to do a job interview and how to fill out work applications. I am going to do bookkeeping or accounting. I am already picking out a college for next year.” “Why are you here?’ Stephanie asked me. “I got kicked out of my school for acting out a scene from GoldenEye and my parents thought this would be a good school for me so I can be with other kids who are different too like me and feel normal.” “It sucks being in a overcrowded school when you have a disability,” said Amy. “So many kids, the school principal and the teachers are too busy to deal with every single student so they get away with being mean. Here they don’t have very many students and there are like 35 kids per grade.” “And they can’t help you when you have a problem understanding something on your assignment because they have other students who also need their attention,” said Ashland. “Did your mom do any drugs or dropped you?” Colleen asked me. “No,” I said. “Do you have any other problems besides incontinence?” “My brain,” I said. “What’s wrong with your brain?” “I got a head injury from being in the car accident when I was seven,” I said. “How does that affect you?” “I have troubles with my school work because of it. I felt so stupid and now I don’t anymore because everyone here is getting help with their school work so I feel normal now.” “I come here because of my step father’s abuse,” said Ashland. Then lunch time ended and we all had to get to our next class. I left Ashland and her friends and went to PE next. I felt so much better with my diapers and the girls acted like it was no big deal and they just moved on as Ashland told me. They might make comments about it but if you don’t react, they will move on. I wonder how many other kids here wouldn’t care either if they know?
I saw Dr. Harding again at one. I talked about Jason this time instead of Pissy and I told him about my fantasy of teaching him a lesson. He told me that would be very vindictive of me and I can get sued for slander and he told me how it was against the law to deliberately make something up about a person to destroy them and they can sue me for it. “How are they going to sue me?” I asked. “I’m still a kid.” “They can still take your Mom and Dad to court and you would not want that. Your dad is already paying for his time and I am sure they wouldn’t want to pay more time in court and this time they could lose the house and you lose everything.” “Why do people lose everything when they are sued and lose their house?” I asked. “Because they have to pay back all the fines and money they owe and they won’t have room to put all their stuff so they have to sell it and you wouldn’t be able to take everything with you. You would have to put up with not having a Nintendo or all your books and clothes and games and your other stuff.” I felt so disappointed. The thought of making everyone think Jason hating incontinent people was fun while it lasted. Dr. Harding told me there are people out there that do go crazy and do nasty things when they go through a break up. They will sometimes post their naked photos of their ex all over the place to people they know, ex’s have even made up lies about their ex’s to hurt them in court and to ruin their reputation and people have had to move out of town to start over and find a new group of friends because of lies spread by their ex’s and some even go out of their way to kill their ex. All those people sounded crazy. I told Dr. Harding how much Jason had hurt me with his behavior and how he had pulled my pants down to see my diaper. “That was very inappropriate of him,” he said. I tried to describe how I felt but I didn’t have the words for it. “When he pulled my pants down, I don’t know how to explain it, I just felt, felt, felt.” “You felt violated,” he said. So that was the feeling I was having. Then I brought up Allie. “My friend Allie has a problem,” I said. “Wait a minute, we are talking about Jason here,” he said. I waited for that topic to end so I didn’t say anything else. He kept talking about the incident with me and I didn’t initiate the topic. By the time he was done, the session was nearly over so I didn’t see the point in bringing up Allie again and her diaper problem. I will try it next week or tell my mom and she can tell Denise. Then her problem would be taken care of and she won’t be stealing anymore.
* * *
I arrived home with Mom and I saw Aunt Bridgett’s car in the driveway. The back of it was filled with bunch of stuff and the top of the car was also covered with tarp with stuff under it and it was all tied with rope. “She’s here finally,” I said. “They will be staying here until they figure out where to go,” Mom explained. “Amber will be staying in Kelly’s room and Jaymee will be staying in yours and Timmy is staying in Matthew’s and Bridgett can sleep on the family room couch and Jesse will sleep in the den.” I got out and went inside. Aunt Bridgette and her kids, Timmy, Amber, Jesse, and Jaymee were all here. Timmy is sixteen and Amber is fourteen and Jesse is twelve and Jaymee is nine like Matthew. “Where’s your stuff?" I asked Aunt Bridgett. “We had to sell it and throw the rest out we didn’t sell and take whatever we could bring,” she said. The house was going to be more crowded now. I also felt sorry she had to get rid of her stuff. I couldn’t imagine losing all my things. I would never get rid of all my video games so I would keep those. Jaymee was watching TV with Matthew and Timmy was just sitting in the kitchen chair with headphones tapping on the table nodding his head to the music. I didn’t know where the other two were. I put my stuff away and went in the den and there was Jesse playing my Nintendo 64. “I wish my mom had a real job,” said Jesse. “Where’s Rufus?” I asked “Outside.” Rufus is their ugly dog that is a mutt. He is small and has short brown fur and has pointed ears and nose. “Why couldn’t you guys find another place to live?” I asked. “Can’t afford a deposit and it takes a while to get a house from the low income housing or find any place that takes section 8.” "What's section 8?" I asked. "It's where they help pay your rent." “And she couldn’t ask Grandma Del?” I asked. “No, she refuses help from anyone.” “So how long will you guys be here?” “I have no idea, I am not happy about this arrangement either. “ I left and asked Aunt Bridgett how long they were going to be staying with us. “I know this is hard,” she said. “We will try and be out of here as soon as possible when I find a job and save up and we can all move out and the waiting list for low income housing is five years.” “Why that long?” I asked. “Everyone wants housing so we get put on the waiting list and that can take years. Your mom told me the rent in this area isn’t very high and I got a newspaper and looked at the ads and she is right. I wouldn’t mind living here and you are so close to Portland and you guys are here, we might have to live in an apartment though unless they find low income housing for us sooner or find a house that takes section 8." "How come it's hard find a place that takes section 8?" "Because lot of people who get it tend to be very dirty and not take care of the house well." "Uh that is you," I said. Aunt Bridgett's look on her face changed. "What?" I asked. "You think I am a slob?" she asked. "Yeah, your house is very dirty and you don't keep it clean. It's gross." "With four children, it's hard to keep clean." "If my mom can keep this house clean with four kids, so can you," I said. "I clean it." "Your kids did." Aunt Bridgett didn't say anything else. “Why couldn’t you stay with a neighbor or with a friend?” I asked. “I figured we can stay with family.” “Why not Aunt Elizabeth or Grandma Del?” I asked. “We might go over there too, I am not sure what we are doing.” “How will the kids go to school and not get held back?” “I enrolled them already. Your mother gave me the numbers to the schools here and I called them and pre registered them and I will complete it on Monday. I pulled them out of their schools this week and got them transferred here already.” “Even if they attend for a few weeks here?” I asked. “Yes, that way they won’t miss so many days of school and having to do summer school or repeating a grade.” “How many minutes are you older than Mom?” I asked. “That was random, I am older, I am not sure, Mom has always said I was older and it took a while for your mother to come out.” “How long is a while? One hour? Five hours?” “That is a good question, I don’t know, I would have to ask our mother or you can when you see her next time.” Mom was in the kitchen making food. “Mom, do you know the answer?” I asked. “I was breech so that is why it took so long. They had to turn me and then I was finally born,” she said. “How long did it take them?” I asked. “I don’t know.” “Grandma never told you?” I asked. “No. She only told me Bridgett came out first very well and I was very difficult to come out.” “How come she never told you?” “I don’t know, you would have to ask her next time you see her.” I went up to Mom and Dad’s room and watched TV. Bridgette started to bring in some of her things from her car including the kid’s stuff. It was mostly suitcases and sleeping bags and pillows and blankets. I bet Dad was going to have a fit from the “mess.” By the time Dad came home with Mom, Jaymee’s stuff had been tossed in my room and Amber’s stuff was put in Kelly’s room and Matthew’s toys had been kicked out of the way to make room for Timmy and Jesse’s stuff was placed in the den and Bridgett’s stuff was in the family room by the wall. I heard Matthew having a fit about his toys being moved and Mom telling him they need to make room for his cousin to sleep and to pick up his stuff so it won't be stepped on or knocked over. Timmy complained about having to sleep in a messy bedroom and Mom told him he lived in a messy house so how can that all be a big deal now? Aunt Bridgett told him he can just clean his room if it bothers him so much and have Matthew assist him. That got Timmy to shut up. Rufus was in his cage because when he came in the house, Skippy started growling and barking at him so Aunt Bridgett stuck him in there and Skippy left him alone. Plus our cats were hissing at him too because he was a stranger in their house and Aunt Bridgett said animals tend to be very territorial so it’s best to keep a new animal locked up until the current animals get used to them. I imagine a situation going on between them. “What are you doing here, these are my masters and my house,” said Skippy to Rufus as he showed his teeth and growled at him. “I am just here with my own masters,” said Rufus. “Just to set things straight, this is my home, my humans, I was here first and don’t make me have to mark my territory because my master Glen here hates when I do it in the house.” “You see the humans with blonde hair, those are our masters,” said Princess and Mittens hissing and showing their teeth. “Don’t even go in their rooms either, that is our space.” “Okay, Rufus, let’s get you in the cage here,” said Aunt Bridgett picking him up. She put him in there and all our pets stopped hissing and growling at him because he was safe from their territory and their humans.
Dad was not happy when he saw Aunt Bridgett and her kids were here. “What are they doing here?” he asked. “They need a place to stay for a while until she can find a job and a place to live again,” Mom explained. “You never asked me if they could stay or not,” he said. “Glen, she is my sister and she needs help.” “She has other family members. We can’t afford to feed other tummies and another dog and he better be housetrained because if he pees in the house, he is living outside and I will not have this house get messy because she doesn’t know how to keep her place clean.” “I will try hard to keep this house clean and have my kids pick up after themselves,” said Aunt Bridgett. Mom got finished making the food and she took out the cups and plates and silverware for everyone and placed them all on the table. Dad was not pleased she was sharing our food with our relatives and said how would we afford our internet or cable and what if she doesn’t sell enough of her artwork to make those payments. “I will get a job and pitch in with the bills,” Aunt Bridgett told Dad. “I will even help with groceries.” “Then how will you save to move out?” Dad asked. “We’ll just pay a little and put the rest away in savings. It’s not like I am going to be paying you guys rent or anything. I will just pay for what we use and I get food stamps and the kids will get lunch reduced prices in school.” “You do realize that if you tell the state you are living with us, they will cut down your food stamps,” Dad warned. “I will just tell them the situation and that you guys have your own income and don’t support us.” “Yes but they will think we are paying for everything and think you won’t need all those foodstamps. That is the way the government works.” “How do you know, have you ever been poor?” “Actually yes, a long time ago when Anita and I were very young and when Brian was little and then once I got my career started, I started making more money and look where we are now. And we did also get foodstamps. Just don’t tell them you are staying with family.” “Glen, that would be dishonest,” Mom cried. “Anita, the system is messed up. People shouldn’t have to lose their benefits just because they are in between jobs and a house and need to stay with a family member or a friend,” said Dad. “But that can get you in serious trouble Glen.” “Well they can’t stay here, they have to find somewhere else to stay,” said Dad. “I can’t afford to feed five extra tummies and deal with a messy house.” “We will be very clean, I promise,” said Aunt Bridgett. “I will find a job and try and move out of here as soon as we can. I don’t want to be here either believe me.” "I just wish you would find somewhere else to stay like with Elizabeth or your Mum and Dad or other siblings. Maybe Aunt Gladys and Uncle Nate would have let you stayed." "No, not Gladys," said Aunt Bridgett in a different tone. A tone people use when they don't want to be with someone or don't want to go somewhere or do something they don't like. "But why us, what is so good about this place?" Dad asked. "Your Mom offered." "Just why Anita?" Dad asked. "I told you she needed a place to stay," Mom said again. "But she has other family or is she too dirty for them to want them to stay?" "Glen," said Mom. "I will be very clean okay," said Aunt Bridgett to Dad. Dad just sighed and walked away and didn't speak to anyone for the rest of the night. He grabbed a pop instead and went upstairs. Mom started to tell everyone the rules about a clean house in order to keep Dad calm so he isn't coming home and raging because the house is dirty. Toilet must be wiped if you find them dirty, crumbs must be wiped off the counter, shoes must go off when you enter the house, you must sweep up your crumbs you leave on the floor, must put your stuff away when you are done, coats must be hung up, dishes go in the sink if the dishwasher is full. If it's empty or has room for more dirty dishes, they must go in. My cousins just protested and told Aunt Bridgett if they can stay with somewhere else. "I have already registered you guys at the schools here," said Aunt Bridgett. "Then unregister us and let's move," said Amber. "See Mom, they already hate it here," said Kelly. "Kids, we are staying here and how hard can it be to keep the place spotless and spic and span," said Aunt Bridgett. "You'll see and then you will want to move out because of Dad's crazy rules," said Kelly.
After everyone ate, Aunt Bridgett told her kids to bring the dishes to the sink so they did and then she said to them "Now was that hard? See how easy this is?" "We would have done it when we get up," said Timmy. "Really?" Aunt Bridgett asked. "Then why were there always dishes being left around mmm?" Timmy didn't say anything else and he went back to watching TV with the rest of the family. Mom did the dishes and got the dishwasher started and then she wiped the counter tops and the kitchen table. Then she was sweeping. I played the Nintendo 64 in the den while Mom did all that.
I also found it wasn’t easy having them staying here because I was forced to go to bed because Bridgett went to bed and so did Jesse and I couldn’t be in the Den because of it. Jaymee also couldn’t sleep with the TV on or light so I had to go to sleep sooner. I hoped tomorrow would be a better day.
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Post by Bad Beth on Nov 17, 2017 7:40:08 GMT
Chapter 6
I woke up in my room the next day. Jaymee was on the floor sleeping in her sleeping bag and a pillow with no air mattress. My diaper was soaking wet again and under the covers reeked of urine. I looked at the time and it was seven thirty seven. I laid in bed trying to get back to sleep. Everyone was just sleeping in because no one ever got up so I got up and changed my diaper and Jaymee slept through it all. I put my pajamas back on and rinsed out my plastic pants and hung them to dry on the shower nozzle. I tossed my used diaper in the diaper pail in my room. I played the Super Nintendo but very quietly. I wanted to lie on my belly while playing but then the pee would get to the front of my diaper and I wouldn’t like that.
Pretty soon everyone was up and boy was it hard for Dad because I heard him yelling at my cousins for things they were doing and then Aunt Bridgett telling him to quit yelling at her kids for normal behavior and they were doing nothing wrong. My cousins were also going in and out of the house and Dad didn't like that because then it tracks in dirt and they were not cleaning up after themselves. Finally Mom told them to just stay inside or outside and quit coming in and out of the house because they are letting dirt in. The in and out of the house stopped and Amber came in the den where I was playing video games. "Kelly was right, your Dad is hard to live with," she said. "All you gotta do is keep the place clean and clean up after yourself and it will be fine," I said. "Seriously? Your dad acts like the ruler of this place and I feel like we're his troops. He can't even stand a cup being left by the sink for me to use later." "So get a another cup." "Then I am just dirtying another one when I can just use the same cup again." "So, just get another cup." Amber left the den and she hung out with Kelly. Soon I stopped playing and turned the system off and I walked Skippy and when I got home, I wanted to watch Goldeneye but all the TVs were taken that had a VCR so I got the VCR out of Mom and Dad's room to put in my room to watch the movie since Timmy and Jesse were using the other one in the den for the Nintendo 64. I got the movie and put it in and watched it on my bed. I pooped while Natalya was trapped in the Servenaya Control Center while it was being blown up. I then started to masturbate in the diaper and I got this excited feeling inside me. I could feel it spread all over and up the back seat of my diaper. Then my bedroom door opened and Jaymee came in. I stopped rubbing myself down there. “It stinks in here,” she said. She held her nose and she looked through her stuff. She got one of her toys and left my bedroom. She left the door open so I had to close it. I went back to masturbating. I got done and I felt tired from laying down. I listened to the movie instead and would open my eyes to look at it. When the movie ended, I changed my diaper again and put a fresh one on and wiped my hands clean. I went downstairs to play the Nintendo 64 but couldn’t because Timmy and Jesse were still playing it. I felt anxious. I was bored and I didn’t know what else to do. I just walked around the house and Dad asked me what was wrong. “I’m bored,” I said. “Oh, you’re bored, wonderful, let’s see what you can do around here,” said Dad. I followed him and then he handed me Comet. “Sprinkle some of this in all the toilets and scrub them,” he said. “What? Why?” I asked. “You said you were bored so I am giving you something to do. Also you can help me out by making sure your cousins keep everything picked up and not making any messes. I would pay you more money but I can’t afford it with all these fines and with your games every month. Why are you bored?” “Timmy and Jesse are playing my Nintendo 64,” I said. “I’ll tell you what, you help me make sure this house stays clean and I can make sure you won’t be bored,” said Dad. “But right now do the toilets and then patrol the household.” “How are you going to make sure I won’t be bored?” I asked. “I can make them stop playing your gaming system so you have a turn to play. That would be your reward.” “Okay.” I went in each bathroom and scrubbed each toilet using the Comet. The toilets smelled all nice and then I put the comet away. I checked for dirty dishes and any dirt and shouted “Dad, there is a cup on the coffee table.” “I am still drinking it,” said Aunt Bridgett. She picked it up and took a sip from it. I looked in the kitchen and shouted “Dad, someone left a knife out.” Dad came in the kitchen. “Hey, this knife goes in the sink or dishwasher,” Dad opened the dishwasher and said, “Hey the dishwasher is dirty, knife goes in there,” Dad scolded. “You are making her your mini sergeant?” Aunt Bridgett asked. “Yes I am, she is my little helper here to make sure everyone stays neat and you stay neat and your kids too because I will not have my place turn to yours,” said Dad. “Just great,” said Kelly when she came in the kitchen. “Now this is going to be worse." “Hey, how hard is it to put the knife in the sink or dishwasher?” said Dad. “Very hard,” said Amber. “Oh come on, for pete’s sake,” said Dad. “It only took me five seconds to put it away. You’re doing a good job Natalie.” “I wished we didn’t stay here,” said Amber to Aunt Bridgett. “Well I’m sorry,” she said. I spent the rest of my day patrolling making sure everyone stayed neat and Mom was not happy with Dad about what he had turned me into because I was making her sister and her kids unhappy. “At least she is having fun because earlier she was complaining she was bored,” said Dad. “Now she can have her turn with the Nintendo.” “Uncle Glen, Aunt Anita, can I not sleep in Natalie’s room again, I don’t like the smell,” said Jaymee. “We can throw the diapers out in the garage,” said Mom. “Natalie, please take your used diapers out in the garage and throw them away out there while they are staying here.” I had to stop what I was doing just to take my diapers from the diaper pail to the garage. “Mom, I want to sleep in Kelly’s room,” said Jaymee. “They took care of it, the diapers will now be tossed in the garage instead of in her room,” said Aunt Bridgett. “I don’t want to sleep in there.” “You are staying in there.” “Can I switch places with Amber then?” “No,” Aunt Bridgett said sharply. “Why?” she whined. “Because I say so. The diapers are gone now, you don’t need to worry about the smell anymore.” “Natalie, keep your pail in the garage,” Mom told me. I had to go back upstairs and bring the pail down and I put it in the garage. “It’s all taken care of now,” Aunt Bridgett told Jaymee. “The window can always be opened to let in some fresh air and the smell will be gone.” “It stunk when she pooped in her diaper.” “It can happen anywhere.” “Can’t you sleep in there and I can sleep on the couch?” Jaymee asked again. “No, kids must stay together.” “Jesse isn’t staying with anyone.” "Perhaps she can sleep in Kelly's room," said Mom. "She would just have to sleep on the floor again." "Yeah yeah, said Jaymee. "I want to stay in there." "Okay," said Aunt Bridgett.
It was official. I had my own room again and I didn't have to worry about having to go to bed early. I could just stay up in my room as late as I want and go to bed when I want to. Jaymee moved her stuff out of my room and she set her sleeping bag and blankets up in Kelly's room right by the bed. My room was open space again and I was so glad. I moved the pail back to my room again. That night I stayed up playing the Nintendo 64. I had moved it in my room to play it. I had all the video games with me too so I wouldn't have to wake Jesse up. My diapers do come in handy sometimes because it gave me back my own bedroom and I wouldn't have to change anything I do in here. I heard Amber and Jaymee and Kelly bickering. They argued about who will sleep on the bottom bunk and Kelly saying Amber had it first so she gets it. Then I heard Jaymee asking if she can sleep with her and Amber said "Ew no way." "Sleep with Natalie," said Amber. "I don't want to smell her yucky diapers," said Jaymee. "I had to smell them all the time and I was happy when we finally got our own rooms again even though this was originally her room and then I moved in here and she moved out," said Kelly. "You slept on the floor anyway," Amber pointed out. I felt the middle of my diaper getting warm as I was hearing them. I played my game while the accident was happening.
In the morning Mom took Aunt Bridgett and her kids to church because she wanted to attend it and asked if we knew of any churches they could attend. Since they were Lutheran, Mom knew a Lutheran church in town so she took them there to show her the way. Dad had a negative attitude about it because Mom was using gas but she argued it was only a few miles. She took them anyway despite Dad’s protest and he ranted about people and their dumb religion and how they want to believe in this imaginary creature and how they can’t stand to miss church and make it their top priority. I also thought religion was stupid too but Kelly defended it and argued with Dad about it. Then she left and went with her friend to church. Aunt Bridgett told Glen to shut up and quit being an asshole and he is the reason why so many people hate atheists. "He grew up very religious," Mom defended. "He isn't justified putting everyone down who believes in god," said Aunt Bridgett. Mom came home again and Dad was still mad at Mom for wasting gas on them and if she would have accepted help and be more frugal with money, she wouldn't be in this situation and all they do is enable her. "And what would happen to the children Glen?" Mom asked. "Should her kids have to suffer because of their mother's own pride and because she is poor?" "She can go back to school, they have grants for people with low income, she is doing nothing to live a better life for the sake of her kids." They argued about my aunt for a while and then the talk ended. I wonder if Dad dislikes Aunt Bridgett because she is poor and won't go to college? Rufus stayed in his cage while Aunt Bridgett and the kids were gone.
When they all got back, Aunt Bridgett and I took our dogs for a walk. “I know this is hard for all you guys but your father is driving me crazy,” she said. “It’s not hard keeping the house clean,” I said. “How can your mother live like this, she deserves someone better than a OCD clean freak. Especially with a drinking problem and what he put you all through and he is worried about money now because of his mistake? He is also a hardcore atheist.” “He grew up with lot of religion and it affected him,” I said. “His parents were very religious and made all their kids that way too so Dad now hates it.” “I am sorry he had to go through all that but that is no reason to rip on others for their religion and shove his anti-Christ in their face. I am surprised he even lets your sister go to church.” “Just as long as she doesn’t put her religion on us or start doing religion in our home, he doesn’t care,” I said. "Just wow," said Aunt Bridgett. I told her about our Christmas we had and Aunt Bridgett said, “At least you still got a Christmas, just think of what presents you could pick out for yourself. No getting presents you didn’t want, no having to exchange anything. You get to do your own Christmas shopping and pick out anything for yourself with the money you got as a gift." We were walking on Veronica’s block when we ran into some boys from my old high school I used to attend here in Saltwater. “Natalie, that is a lot of weight your mother has put on,” said Scott. That was so rude. “How rude,” I said imitating Stephanie Tanner. “Yes I have, I have eaten too much,” said Aunt Bridgett. “I drink lot of fruit drinks, smoothies, and a lot of TV dinners. I also had too much to eat For Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas.” “Why? Are you crazy?” Andrew asked. “Yep, I have been too lazy to work out and I am too busy with my artwork I am selling.” I couldn’t believe she was pretending to be my mother, I wondered why. What is she doing? We kept on walking and the boys followed us. “You boys must have a crush on me,” said Aunt Bridgett and she started to pose herself to the boys. “You’re crazy,” they said. ‘Natalie, your mom is so weird she acts retarded and then she acts all normal and now she has gotten fat and changed her hair.” “You guys got another dog too.” “Yep,” said Aunt Bridgett. The boys finally left us alone and we both kept on walking the dogs. “Why did you pretend to be my mother?” I asked. “I could tell they were jerks so I decided to have a little fun with them,” she said. “Did they hurt your feelings?” “No because I am fat.” “Did you really get fat from eating all that food?” I asked. “I was exaggerating because I was being sarcastic.” “How did you get that big if you don’t mind me asking,” I said. “Not taking care of myself and I would have to work hours a day to get thin. I can only keep it maintained so I won’t get any bigger. Drinking lots of alcohol will do it and using food to deal with stress and depression.” “You can just eat less food so your weight will drop,” I said. “No, I would have to starve myself to do that.” “I didn’t starve myself and I still lost the weight, I just quit having snacks and having seconds for dinner and lunch.” “You’re younger, it’s harder to lose weight when you are my age because your metabolism slows down and that doesn’t work anymore and it does when you are young. Plus you’re sixteen so you are always moving and teens use a lot of energy.” “I’m fifteen,” I corrected, “You will be this month,” she said. “Do you do any sports?” “I did soccer and softball,” I said. “Okay, you’re active and what else do you do that gives you exercise?” “Walk the dog,” I said. “That’s it?” “I played with my razor scooter a lot when I first got it and did jump rope and hula hooping and riding my bike to houses but now I just watch TV and play video games and I do some sit ups to try and lose weight and do other work outs the Teen magazine has showed.” “See, you’re active. It’s easy for you youngsters to lose weight and keep your weight off and pretty soon you will reach my age and have to work hard to keep it off or else the weight will pile on.” I imagined myself looking fat in my forties. Lot of people seemed to be big when they are my parents age and older. Even Grandma Del is big and Dad has a gut and it’s hard. Skippy didn’t take off this time until we got home and he just ran off. “Where is he going?” Aunt Bridgett asked. “He’s got a girlfriend,” I said. “He always goes to her and then he comes back to our house.” “I hope there aren’t any coyotes around here,” she said. “They only bother small animals,” I said. “They can bother larger animals too if they feel threatened. Also keep your food and water inside and trash picked up to avoid attracting them here.” We went inside and Aunt Bridgett took the leash off Rufus and Dad had the door closed to the kitchen to keep Rufus from running inside with muddy paws so I wiped them so Dad wouldn’t flip out about the mess. Mom had to cook larger portions to feed five extra people and Dad was not happy about that either and told Aunt Bridgett to start finding a job now so she wouldn’t be eating our food. Mom kept apologizing about Dad’s behavior to her sister. "I got the Sunday paper right here," said Aunt Bridgett holding up The Columbian. We all sat down to eat. The adults ate in the dining room while us kids ate at the nook. We had to bring one extra chair to the table from the computer because there were not enough chairs. “Your Dad is mean,” said Jaymee to us. “You guys need to be more clean,” I said. “It’s not that hard. Hang up the wet towels, put your dirty clothes in the laundry basket, put your plate in the sink always when you are done with it, take off your shoes before coming inside. Put stuff away when you are done with it, wipe crumbs off the counter after you are done making something.” “This whole place has to look like a palace,” said Timmy. "Natalie, it's totally ridiculous we have to make our house look like a parade of homes," said Kelly. "What's wrong with picking up after ourselves, if we keep everything picked up, we won’t have to do it later," I said.
After dinner, Aunt Bridgett helped out with the dishes and Dad was so happy. “Thank god you are finally doing the dishes,” said Dad. “That is what I want.” “My children made lot of these so it’s good I clean up after them,” she said. The kids went back to playing and Kelly and Amber just hung out in her room. I caught Timmy and Jesse in my room again playing the Nintendo 64. I was not happy because they were in my space. I got upset with them being in here and started crying so they offered to move the system back downstairs. “All you had to do was ask us to leave,” said Timmy. “Not overreact.” They turned off the system and they unhooked it and moved it all downstairs leaving the Nintendo 64 games. I was so happy to have the TV set back and my room again.
Mom got me up the next day. Aunt Bridgett was up too with Amber and Jesse and Timmy. Amber and Timmy were going to be attending my old high school in town. Kelly was also up too. Aunt Bridgett took her older kids to school in her POS car. Luckily it still ran. Kelly then left for her school with Jesse who was going to be attending her school and I was the last one to leave.
I saw Jason in school again and he did not see me before school. He didn’t even sit with me in Spanish or at lunch. I tried to ignore the bad feelings inside me. I hated him, I hate anyone who hates incontinent people. I reached out for Ashland instead. She let me sit with her at lunch with her friends. They all talked about boring stuff and I waited for her to be done talking to them so I could talk to her but they never stopped talking. I saw Jason sitting alone and I just ignored him. In Geography, I kept on doodling words on my blank piece of college ruled paper about Jason. I felt better writing it down. Then Mrs. Robinson brought me back to Mr. Brooks class to work on my assignment together. When we were done, there was just a few minutes of class left so I just read and then the bell rang and I went to Drama. I noticed my paper was gone I was writing on. I looked for it and wondered where it went. I was going to throw it away but I must have dropped it. I didn't care what was going to happen if someone found it and read it. They wouldn't know it was me.
We rehearsed our parts and then when school ended, parents showed up to help out with the costumes and set. Jennifer showed up and so far everything was going normal for Jason. Not one person has told him he hates incontinent people and I have not heard another kid say it to another kid. I imagined my note being found and the kid believed it so he shows it to other kids and all the kids think it’s cruel to hate incontinent people and everyone in this school will never make fun of someone for being incontinent and having to wear diapers. I fantasized I wouldn’t have to feel so embarrassed and ashamed if everyone here didn’t care. I felt better inside. I painted the set with Jennifer. I didn't say much to her because how could she let her own son be a bigot about people with incontinence? When I have kids, I will never let them hate anyone for being different or for being incontinent or let them hate them for their skin color or for being Jewish or Gypsy. I would punish them if they did and their punishment would end when they were done being a bigot.
When it got time to wrap up to leave, I couldn't stop fantasizing about everyone thinking Jason hating incontinent people. Then he comes to me and apologizes about how wrong he is to hate me and he should not have judged me and it's not like I choose to wear them and poop and pee in them. Then I forgive him and we're friends again. I also imagined he starts to not mind diapers so we are back together as boyfriend and girlfriend all because of that paper I wrote.
Mom and I arrived home again. My cousins were already back and Aunt Bridgett was gone. I knew because her can on the driveway was gone. "Where's Aunt Bridgett?" I asked. "Out getting a job," said Matthew. "I want to get a job, you wouldn't mind if I borrow a bike do you?" Timmy asked me. "Go ahead but just don't take mine," I said. "You can use my bike anytime," said Mom. "Thank you," he said. "You will be okay with riding out in the cold and the rain? Will they allow wet clothes?" Mom asked. "I will wear a rain jacket and I can get a ride if the weather is real bad." I watched TV in Mom's room and then played in my bedroom. Kelly went baby sitting and she took Amber with. Aunt Bridgett soon came home and I asked her what job she got and she said, "Oh I haven’t gotten one yet, I only went looking for work and applied at four places." Mom made a quick dinner again and got Dad and brought him home. My cousins complained about being hungry and having to wait to eat so late at night. "Would you mind if we ate earlier?" Aunt Bridgett asked Mom and Dad. "Then I will miss my family dinner," said Dad. "No, just me and the kids. I still have foodstamps on my card so I can go out and buy my own and cook it." Dad was okay with it but said they better do their own dishes and clean up the mess they make. "I will," said Aunt Bridgett. We all ate and the kids sat at the nook again while the adults sat in the dining room. "How do you handle waiting to eat this late at night?" Amber asked. "I am always starving by the time we eat," said Kelly. "I just wait," I said. "At least I am burning my body fat while I wait to eat," I said. "It sucks we can't eat whenever we are hungry," said Timmy. "At least it will be less calories you are having and all that body fat to burn," I said. "Natalie, I am not fat, it's all muscle, feel here," he took my hand and had me press on his upper arm and them pinch his side of his belly and he said. "See, muscle. I need more energy because I have muscle." "Well at least you will get thinner" I said. "It’s all muscle, not fat,” Timmy said again. Timmy did look chubby because of all those muscles. I still thought it was body fat and he could use less calories to burn it so he will look thinner. He didn’t look like those muscular men I see on TV or in magazines who have lots of muscle.
After dinner, Aunt Bridgett ordered her kids to bring their dishes to the sink and it’s very rude to not pick up after themselves in someone’s home. Then she expected them to rinse off their plates and put them in the dishwasher but Mom said they could just give them to her since she knows where they go. They gave them to her and Mom rinsed them off and stuck them in the dishwasher. I went to playing my Nintendo 64 until I had to leave the room again for Jesse to sleep in. I saw Timmy was dragging his blankets and pillow down the stairs. “Where are you moving to?” I asked. “The den where my brother is because I can’t stand your little brother and his room.” I knew his pain. I wouldn’t want to sleep in is messy room either and then getting him upset if I step on one of his toys or accidently kick something out of the way or knocking it down. Matthew got his own bedroom again like I did. I bet he slept peacefully and was happy to have his room back like I was. Jaymee and Amber both slept in Kelly’s bedroom while Aunt Bridgett slept in the family room and Timmy slept on the couch cushions in the den.
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