Chapter 3“To Sarah’s house we go to Sarah’s house we go tra laa laa,” I sang as I danced .
“Natalie would you mind not to act like a retard? Be on your best behavior as we’re going over to a friend’s house,” said Kelly.
“Okay,” I said.
I stopped dancing and figured something else to do. I know, I’ll play Don’t Step on the Cracks. I stepped over each crack on the sidewalk. Kelly was stepping on them.
“Now what are you doing?” she asked.
“Playing Don’t Step on the Cracks,” I replied.
“Well don’t.”
I stopped playing and figured something else to do. I know, I’ll play Balance. I stood on the edge of the sidewalk and walked on it. Then an invisible person tried to push me off. I held my arms out to keep balance. When my balance was good again, I put my arms down.
“Natalie,” said Kelly in a frustrated tone. “I thought you wanted to be normal.”
“I do,” I replied.
“Okay but do you think high school kids do this stuff?”
“If they wanted to,” I said.
“Okay but don’t go crying home if you get hurt feelings,” said Kelly.
As we passed the brown house with white trim, a little boy who looked to be about eight, was standing in the driveway holding a water pistol. That house was built a while ago. I don’t know when. Maybe in the eighties. I never knew who lived in that house ever. People have moved out of that house and other people have moved in. How do I know? Well that house has been up for sale before like twice.
The boy ran in front of us and squirted Kelly in her crotch. “You wet your pants,” he taunted and he did the same to me but I covered my crotch with my coat. My coat’s long enough to go just below my bottom. The boy started to squirt Kelly in the same spot again. Kelly covered her crotch with her hands. She was wearing a jacket but it wasn’t long enough to cover her bottom because the jacket only came down to her hips.
“Stop it,” she said.
“Make me,” said the boy.
Kelly reached out to grab the gun but the boy ran. Kelly ran after him.
“Help me Natalie!” she shouted.
I just stood here and watched.
“C’mon Natalie help me!” Kelly shouted.
The boy ran towards me and stopped.
“Aren’t you going to make me?” he said.
I grabbed his shirt and snatched the gun from him.
“Hey,” he said.
He tried to get it back but I held it up high.
“Natalie, throw it over here!” Kelly shouted.
I had a hold of the boy as I threw the gun to her.
She got it and threw it over the fence in the next yard.
“Yeah, kick ass,” she cheered.
The boy got upset. He ran in the house and started crying.
“Let’s get out of here before someone comes out,” I said.
Kelly and I ran. We heard the door open and a guy shouted at us. He wanted us to come back but we both kept running. We didn’t stop running until we were out of sight.
“That was mean,” I said.
“No it wasn’t. he told me to make him and I did,” said Kelly.
“I know. I was just saying it. What you did was different because he told you to make him and you did.”
“You know,” said Kelly. “I didn’t think you were going to help me but you did. You proved me wrong. You can understand directions.”
‘I know,” I said. “I’ve been telling everyone that since the car crash.”
“You sure tricked me. I didn’t know you were planning to take the gun away until he got near you. Was that your plan?”
“Yes,” I lied.
I didn’t plan to do that. In fact I wasn’t planning to help Kelly take the gun from him at all because I didn’t want to. I do stuff when I want to do it. I took the gun from him because I wanted to tease him a little bit because I wanted to play. I learned that kind of stuff from other kids but some of them did it to me to be mean but I didn’t do it to him to be mean and when Kelly told me to throw the gun to her, I threw it because I wanted to see how good I can throw. Kelly missed but she picked it up and threw it over the fence. It would have been mean if he was minding his own business and all of a sudden Kelly ran up to him and snatched the gun from him and threw it over the fence.
We arrived at Sarah’s and Kelly rang their doorbell. I heard someone running t the door. I knew it was a little kid younger than Matthew. The door opened. It was a little girl. She looked about three or four.
“Hi,” said Kelly. ‘Is Sar-“
The girl slammed the door in our faces.
“Kelsey,” I heard a girl say.
The door opened again and this time it was a teenage girl. ‘Sorry about my cousin,” she apologized. “She’s been learning about strangers.”
Oh that’s why she closed the door in our faces. She wasn’t being rude, she was being safe.
“We’re not strangers,” said Kelly to the little girl. “We’re kids just like you but older.”
“Just those silly rules adults give us when we’re young,” I said as I took off my shoes. “This must be your sister,” said the teenage to Kelly. “The one you’ve been telling me about.”
“And you must be Sarah,” I said.
“I am,” she said.
Kelly and her kept talking. Kelly took her shoes off and left them right in the middle of the entry way. I picked them up and moved them to where my shoes were and followed Sarah and Kelly upstairs. We went in her room and played The Game of Life but Sarah and Kelly kept goofing off so I wasn’t enjoying the game. They kept cheating. They were doing it to tease each other. I told them many times to stop but they refused. This was frustrating. Here I was playing a game with two other kids but I wasn’t enjoying playing with them because they kept cheating. They would move their car elsewhere on the board, steal money, pretend the spinner landed on another number so they wouldn’t have to land on a space they didn’t want to land on, and they would put family members on their car. Of course they would correct it but it was still frustrating me so I quit playing.
I took my car off the board and put my money back in the bank.
“What are you doing?” asked Sarah.
“Quitting,” I replied. “Because you two won’t stop goofing around.”
I went over to the bookshelf and read a Pokemon comic book.
“What’s wrong with her?” Sarah asked Kelly.
“She likes to play by the rules,” Kelly replied.
She also told her I don’t appreciate jokes and I take them all too seriously.
I ignored what she said. I kept on reading.
After they were done playing, they put the game away and went to the playroom. I watched them play video games. Sarah had a Playstation. They were playing ’98 Winter Olympics. I really don’t like sport games. I looked at the other video games to see what she had.
“Hey get out of the way, you’re blocking my view,” said Kelly.
I looked up and realized my head was in front of the TV on the right side. “Oh sorry,” I said.
I backed up.
“Thank you.”
I wanted to play Teleubbies but I had to wait. I wonder if Sarah likes Teletubbies since she had the game.
“Sarah, do you like Teletubbies?” I asked.
She answered but I couldn’t hear her.
“What?” I said.
“No,” Sarah said loudly.
“Then why do you have the game?”
“My little cousins come here often because my mom’s sister lives nearby,” Sarah relied.
“How old are they?”
“Kelsey is five and Andrew is one.”
“How old is their mother?”
Sarah thought for a moment. “Um thirtyyyy-three.”
“Whoa, your aunt had her first child when she was twenty eight and our mom had her first child when she was twenty one. Well she was almost twenty one. Her birthday’s in June.”
I have an older brother Brian. He’s twenty two and lives in an apartment with his girlfriend Kate in Vancouver. (Not Vancouver BC, Vancouver that is south of us)
“How old is your mother?” Sarah asked.
“Forty three,” Kelly and I replied.
“That is old,” said Sarah. “How old is your father?”
“Forty four.”
“How old is your father?” I asked Sarah.
“Thirty eight,” she replied.
“Is Andrew here?”
“Yes, he’s downstairs.”
“I don’t remember seeing him as I walked in this house.”
“That was because he was in the family room.”
I went downstairs to see him. He was in his playpen playing with his toys as Kelsey was watching Blues Clues on TV. The adults were in the kitchen and drinking coffee.
I went back upstairs. I saw a little boy in his room playing with his action figures. He looked to be about ten.
“Sarah, do you have any brothers or sisters?” I asked when I came back in the playroom.
“Yeah two, “ she replied.
“How old are they?”
“Matt’s thirteen and Sean’s eleven.”
“You don’t have ant sisters?”
“I did one time until she passed away last year.”
“Oh I’m sorry.”
“She passed away?” Kelly repeated. “How did that happen?”
“Car accident. She got brain damage and died.”
“How old was she?” I asked.
“It was five days before her seventeenth birthday,” Sarah replied.
“I was in a car accident one time,” said Kelly. “And Natalie had to go to the hospital. Do you remember that Natalie?”
“No,” I replied.
After they were done playing, I played Teletubbies.
Kelly was telling Sarah about the car accident we were in and she told her about the car accident her sister was in. They played Guess Who? Every time Sarah wasn’t looking, Kelly tried to look at her card but she kept catching her. If my opponent kept trying to do it to me, I would hold my card at all times.
After I was done playing Teletubbies, Kelly and I played Rampage. We were both in Salt Lake City destroying buildings and vehicles and eating people.
“Hey, hands off that building,” said Kelly. “It’s mine.”
I jumped off the building and watched my sister punch holes in the building for prizes. Then she told me to climb up the building so she could climb higher.
After we were done playing the game, Sarah and I played South Park: Chef’s Luv Shack.
Thank god my sister wasn’t playing with me anymore because she was being bossy. She was telling me what buildings to destroy and not to destroy and what prizes to take and not to take. Why did I let her tell me how to play the game? I should have ignored her. Next time I’ll toughen up.
Sarah kept pressing the button on her controller before the question could finish. It was frustrating. I was so far behind. I got to play a mini game all by myself without opponents but he game gave me a one player mini game. The game the computer chose for me was called Spank the Monkey. What kind of game is that?
“Oh you’ll love that game. It’s just like the game Simon except you hit the monkey’s butt in a special way,” said Sarah.
I read the rules about how to play the mini game. The game was just like the Milton Bradley game Simon. I pressed the button to play the game. The monkey had four butts. Mr. Mackey was Simon. He told me he was going to hit the monkey’s butt and he wanted me to repeat how he did it. Mr. Mackey spanked the monkey’s top butt once, then his right butt twice. I repeated the sequence. Mr. Mackey told me it was too easy and he was going to give me a harder one. He spanked the monkey’s top butt once, then his right butt twice, then his bottom button once. I repeated it and Mr. Mackey said I would never get the next one but I did. The game got harder and harder because Mr. Mackey was hitting the monkey’s butt faster. As I did it, I lost.
“What? I wasn’t even done,” I said.
“You ran out of time,” said Sarah.
“What time?”
“The timer at the top of the screen. You only had five seconds.”
Oops I forgot about the timer.
The game added up my points and it was Sarah’s turn to choose a category. She chose Sucks or Canadian. Chef asked us a question but Sarah pressed the button before he finished asking it. Sarah answered it and got it correct. The answer was ‘both.’ Then it was my turn to choose a category. I chose My fart Will Go On. Sarah answered the question and got it wrong.
After all the rounds were over, I won by 1,000 points.
We played a couple more rounds of Chef’s Luv Shack.
After we were done playing, we and Kelly went downstairs to the kitchen to get on the computer.
“Mom, can we go on the internet?” Sarah asked.
“Yes you may,” Sarah’s mom replied. “But don’t go on any inappropriate sites.”
“Okay,” said Sarah.
She turned on the computer and logged on the internet. Of course she had to dial to get on.
We looked up blonde jokes and rad them out loud. Here was one of them:
a. How did he blonde try to kill a bird?
b. She threw it off a cliff
“Here is a good one,” said Kelly and she began to read the joke. “One day the brunette walks into a blondes shoe store and sees TGIF written on their shoes. ‘Gosh, the blondes sure love Fridays,’ says the brunette and the store clerk shakes his head and says, ‘Toes go in first.’”
We all started to laugh.
“Here’s another one. One day a blonde saw another blonde out in the middle of a dry lake rowing in her canoe. The blonde got mad so she yelled at the other blonde “You son of a bitch, you’re out there rowing when there’s no water. No wonder people make fun of us and tell us we’re stupid” and so the other blonde said ‘Oh yeah, why don’t you come out here and say that to my face’ and then the blonde said ‘I would if I knew how to swim.’”
We all laughed.
“Blondes just don’t make any sense,” I said.
“Neither do you,” said Kelly.
I nudged her with my fist. I knew she was joking but I’m tired of other kids joking, teasing, or making fun of me because of my hair color. Kids only do that to me when I make a mistake, can’t do something right, can’t figure things out, and I wear diapers. Some kids say to me I’m so dumb I don’t even know how to go to the bathroom so I have to wear them.
Recently I’ve been thinking about dying my hair another color. I’m not going to dye my hair red because if I do, kids will tease me every time I have a bad temper and red heads do have bad tempers (which isn’t true) and I do have a bad temper (only in school and sometimes at home) but I can’t help it. It just happens. I get so mad when kid call me a dumb blonde, a baby, a geek, and a bunch of other names, when people expect me to read their minds (which is impossible because nobody can’t. Our brains don’t work that way).
“What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?” Sarah read.
“Donut seeds,” I said.
Sarah ignored me. “Wow, donut seeds.”
Then she read another one. “How does a blonde turn the light on after sex?”
“She opens the car door,” Kelly read.
Sarah covered the monitor screen with her arms. “Hey, no peeking,” she said.
She uncovered the screen and read another blonde joke. “What’s a blonde’s favorite nursery rhyme?” and then she covered the answer with her hand but I already knew the answer because I’ve heard that joke a million times so I sang to be funny.
“Humpme Dumpme sat on the wall, Humpme Dumpme had a great fall.”
“Shhh Natalie quiet,” said Sarah and Kelly.
I kept singing. “All the came horses, all the came men couldn’t put Humpme Dumpme together again.”
“Natalie, you’re going to get us in trouble so shut up,” said Sarah.
“Humpme Dumpme sat on the wall, Humpme Dumpme had a great fall-“
“Quiet,” said Kelly. She tried to cover my mouth but I kept pushing her hands away,
“-couldn’t put Humpme Dumpme together again.”
“That’s it. What are you girls in?” asked Sarah’s mom from the family room. She was sitting in a chair reading a book.
“Nothing,” said Sarah.
“I’m coming to see,” she put her book down and came in the kitchen,
“We’re not looking up anything Mom,” Sarah protested. “We’re just reading blonde jokes.”
“Let me see them,” said her mom.
a. What’s blonde’s favorite nursery rhyme?
b. Humpme Dumpme
a. What does a blonde say after sex?
b. So are you on my side?
a. Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
b. Tits go in front
She scrolled up a bit.
a. How does a blonde turn the a light on after sex?
b. She opens the car door.
“Get off the internet,” she said. ‘I told you not to go into anything inappropriate.”
“We’re not in anything inappropriate!” Sarah shouted. “See look.” She showed her mom the blonde jokes that didn’t involve bad words, sex, and other gross stuff.
a. What do you call nine blondes in a circle?
b. A dope ring
a. Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
b. Because red means stop
a. Why did a blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
b. She wanted to make up her mind
“Okay, then get off this website and stay off,” she said.
We got off and try and figure out what website to go to next.
“Okay Natalie you choose,” said Sarah.
“Choose what?” I asked.
Sarah and Kelly started laughing.
“Choose what?” Kelly repeated.
Then I realized what I had just said. That was so embarrassing and now Sarah probably thinks I’m dumb. I was probably daydreaming about video games again.
“Let’s go to yahoo dot com and look up blonde jokes,” I said.
Sarah and Kelly stopped laughing.
“But my mother said not to go there anymore,” said Sarah.
“No she didn’t. She said to stay out of that one webpage remember?” I corrected.
“Oh yeah, she’s right,” said Kelly.
“What a smart sister you have there friend,” said Sarah.
She went into yahoo.com and typed in ‘blonde jokes’ and looked them up.
We all started laughing as we read them.
“Now what’re you guys in?” asked Sarah’s mom coming from the family room to see what website we were on now.
She read some of the jokes. A few of them were inappropriate. They were the same ones from the other website.
“Get off this page right now and stay off,” she scolded. “One more time and you’re off the internet for the rest of the day.” She went back in the family room.
“What did she mean by one more?” Kelly said quietly to Sarah.
“I don’t know,” Sarah replied. “Just to be cautious, let’s not look up anymore blonde jokes. Let’s find something else to do.”
Kelly and I got up and picked up our chairs.
“Where are you guys going?” Sarah asked as we were putting our chairs back at the kitchen table where we got them.
“We’re going to find something else to do just like you,” Kelly replied.
“I meant on the internet.”
“Oh,” we said.
We took our chairs back to the computer and sat down.
“You guys are funny,” said Sarah.
We went onto zoogdisney.com and played some games. After we got tired of that website, we logged off and looked up Madonna but a lot of nudity kept popping up.
“Don’t you hate it when that happens?” Kelly asked.
“Yes,” Sarah replied.
“It’s annoying isn’t it?” I said.
Kelly clicked on one of the Madonna pictures and about twenty dozen nudity web pages popped up.
“Not again,” Kelly cried.
She clicked on the Xs and then the screen froze.
“No. Don’t let this happen,” Kelly cried.
Sarah held down two keys and pressed delete to end task. She kept doing it repeatedly.
“Is everything going alright in there?” Sarah’s mom called.
“Yeah,” Sarah and Kelly replied.
“Just web pages and sites keep popping up,” I said. “That’s all.”
She must have heard us having problems with the computer.
Sarah had to turn off the computer and turn it on again to get out of that junk.
“Let’s not look up Madonna anymore, too many naked pictures are popping up,” she said.
Kelly and I both agreed.
We had to wait for the yellow line to go across the bottom of the monitor just because the computer wasn’t properly shut down. We went back on the internet after that was done and went into chat rooms.
“Girls, no chat room,” said Sarah’s mother.
“Mom,” Sarah cried.
“I said no,” her mother said firmly. “They’re dangerous.”
“Mom, you’re scaring me. You’re starting to sound like Raymond.”
Kelly and I giggled. We knew she was talking about the movie Rain Man.
(Author’s note: I must have written this part in 2001 or so because I did not watch the movie until the summer of 2001 when school was out or else I wouldn’t know about the “dangerous” parts he mentioned in the movie and I must say the movie annoyed me)
“Good, that means you’ll listen.”
“How can it be dangerous?”
“People lie in there. They lie about their age, sex, and other stuff about themselves.”
“So.”
“So stay out.”
“Mom, I’m almost fourteen, I’m not a child anymore!” Sarah yelled.
“You don’t always make the right decisions so either you stay out or get off the internet!”
Sarah groaned as we got out of the chat room.
“Oh my mother pisses me off,” she said. “She treats me like a baby.”
Kelly and I put our hands on her.
“No she doesn’t,” said Kelly. “She’s just doing her job. She doesn’t want you to get in a lot of trouble because people really do lie in there and if you told who you are and where you live, lot of bad stuff could happen.”
“And to make you feel any better, I’m not allowed to leave this neighborhood without my parents’ permission and I’m in high school for Pete’s sake,” I added.
“It’s not like your mother makes you sleep in a crib, drink out of a bottle, sit in a high chair, take naps, suck on a binky, and play with baby toys,” said Kelly.
“No, that’s not what I meant,” she said. “I meant she still treats me like I’m still in elementary school instead of Junior High. I’ll be fourteen on the fifteenth this month.”
“I’ll be sixteen in February,” I said.
“And I’ll be a teenager in two months,” said Kelly.
“Adults are so stupid,” said Sarah.
“Last year, I read somewhere in a magazine about human brains that they keep growing until you’re twelve and start shrinking when you’re in your twenties so that’s probably why adults are stupid,” I explained.
“I know. I read about it too,” said Kelly, “and I showed it to my class and that explained to everyone why grownups are so stupid.”
“Oh my god, that means ten years later, were all going to be stupid just like the other grownups,” said Sarah.
“Let’s pray to god that it won’t happen,” I said.
Sarah folded her hands and began to say, ‘Dear lord, when we reach our twenties, please don’t make us stupid-“
“What are you doing?” Kelly asked.
“Praying to god,” Sarah replied.
“That’s not what she meant,” she pointed out. “She meant let’s hope it doesn’t happen.”
“Oh.” She stopped praying.
“What website should we go in?” I asked.
“I don’t care,” said Sarah.”
“I know what to go in,” said Kelly. She typed in
www.teenmag.com and pressed enter. We read Why Me? That’s our favorite part of that website. Kelly and I love to read embarrassing moments.
“Should we submit our embarrassing moments?” I asked.
Sarah and Kelly looked at each other.
“So, should we?” Kelly asked.
“I don’t know,” said Sarah. “What would the other kids think if they saw our embarrassing moments?”
“They won’t know it’s us because we read these embarrassing moments recently and did we know who those kids were? No.”
“No, I meant kids in this town,” Sarah corrected.
“Then you can just put in your initials only.”
“What if they recognize my initials?”
“Then you won’t put them in. you’ll just leave it blank. What was your embarrassing moment?” I asked.
“I’m not going to tell,” Sarah replied. “It’s too embarrassing.”
“I know my embarrassing moment,” said Kelly.
She clicked on ‘tell us you embarrassing guy moment’ and began to type.
I tried to figure out one of my embarrassing moments to put down. I remembered the time I accidentally stepped on someone’s spilled milk in the cafeteria and I slipped and fell down and my whole entire lunch fell all over my chest and a lot of kids started laughing. I was so embarrassed I ran crying to the principal’s office and my mom had to come to school to bring me some dry clothes. That was in third grade. I remembered the time I was at a playground playing on the monkey bars and there happened to be a lot of little kids there, I opened my mouth and a loud enormous burp came out of my mouth and I was embarrassed. Their parents still had a dirty look on their face after I said ‘excuse me.’ That was in sixth grade. I remembered the time I sat down in my chair and I felt something on my butt and it made a farting sound and a lot of kids in my class started laughing. I stood up and looked at my chair and saw a woopy cushion. A boy who sat next to me placed it there while I was sitting down and he got in trouble for it from the teacher but I was still embarrassed and kids teased me about it for a while. That was in fourth grade. I’ve also had diaper embarrassing moments but they’re too embarrassing to tell.
Kelly finished typing her embarrassing moment. Here’s what it said:
One day I was at a bowling alley with my friends and I saw a really cute boy (he’s in my math class) I liked a lot and he was there with a friend and his family. They were going bowling and I wanted to impress him so when my turn came, I picked up the lightest bowling ball I could find which was designed for little kids to use and I thought it would be easier for me to roll it down the bowing lane really fast and my fingers were small enough to fit them in the three holes but as I was about to roll it, the ball stuck to my fingers and the ball flew up in the air and landed with a big sound and it bounced two lanes over towards the cute boy. He and his friend both started cracking up and so did my friends. Now I stick with a bowling ball that’s for my size.Sarah typed in her embarrassing moment and submitted it but she left it anonymous. I tried to figure out what embarrassing moment I should put in but Sarah and Kelly told me it had to be a guy embarrassing moment. I knew they were wrong because I saw none guy embarrassing moments in Why Me? So I told them but they wouldn’t understand.
“No, you have to,” said Kelly. “It says so right there,” she pointed at the words where you have t click to submit your embarrassing moment.
‘Look who’s literal now,” I said. “You don’t have to submit a guy embarrassing moment. It can be about anything because we saw a few stories that weren’t about crushes, hotties, or cuties. See, there’s nothing wrong with me ‘cause nobody’s perfect.”
Kelly rolled her eyes. “Very funny.”
I finally got her. I pointed out everybody’s literal.
“What’s up?’” I asked.
“the ceiling,” Kelly replied sarcastically.
“How did you know what I meant?”
“Because you’re my sister. I know you.”
“Up,” I said.
“Yeah what about it?”
“Up.”
“What,” Kelly started to sound frustrated.
“Up,” I said again.
“What about it?’
“Up.”
“Ooo,” Kelly kicked her feet against the cupboard doors.
“Okay, then down.”
Kelly covered her ears. I love doing that kind of teasing to her. It gets a lot of reaction out of her. I don’t do it that very often because it’ll spoil it if I did it all the time because then she’ll realize I’m doing it to big her so she’ll ignore me. I’m wishy washy when I do it because I only do it sometimes.
“Down,” I said.
“What about it?” My sister yelled.
“Down.”
“What about it?”
“You go down.”
“No, I’m still up. Look!” Kelly pointed at herself.
I laughed. I love messing with her brain. She probably thought I was telling her she was on the ground but she told me she was still up because she was still in her chair.
“You go down,” I said again.
“Okay fine if this what you meant,” Kelly made herself fall out of the chair.
I laughed.
“What’s so funny?” she asked.
I kept on laughing.
“What’s so funny?”
Kelly waved her hand in front of my face. “Hello?”
“Kelly, just ignore her,” said Sarah.
“I can’t, what is she trying to tell me?”
“She’s teasing you.”
How did Sarah know that?
I decided I did enough teasing or I might get my head bit off.
“Natalie, sometimes you’re a pain in the butt you know that,” said Kelly as she sat down in her chair.
After we were done with the computer, we went back to the playroom. My stomachache got worse.
“Do you wanna watch a movie?” Sarah asked.
“Sure,” I said.
“What movies do you got?” Kelly asked.
Sarah went over to a box and opened it and took out a bunch of movies.
“We have Jurassic Park, Home Alone one, two, and three, Armageddon,..”
Kelly and I came over to look through the movies. Some of them were blank tapes with recorded stuff on it.
“… Dunston Checks In, Ritchie Rich, The Nutcracker,” Sarah went on.
Kelly picked up a recorded tape and read the label. “Can we watch Desperately Seeking Susan?” she asked.
“…Free Will one, Free Willy 2, Free Willy 3….”
“Hello?” Kelly said to Sarah.
“….Mr. Mom, Beetlejuice, Raising Arizona, The Borrowers, The Indian in the Cupboard-“
“Hello, anybody home?” Kelly shouted as she waved her hand in front of her face.
“Don’t,” said Sarah.
‘Let’s watch this movie here,” Kelly showed her the tape and Sarah read the label.
“Boring, I hate Madonna,” she said and she continued taking the tapes out of the box. “We have Antz, The Amazing Panda Adventure, D2 The Mighty Ducks, Cool Runnings, Uncle Buck-“
“You don’t need to like Madonna to watch the movie,” said Kelly.
“I don’t care. I don’t like that movie anyway,” she said.
“How about A League of Their Own?’ I asked.
“I don’t even know what that is.”
“It’s a movie with Madonna in it,” I replied. “It’s about women playing baseball during World War II. Tom Hanks, Geena Davis, and Rosie O Donnell are also in it too. The year is 1943 and a guy who makes chocolate bars decides to start the girls baseball league while the men are overseas fighting and-“
“I don’t care what it’s about,” Sarah interrupted. “God, there’s Titanic-“
“Too long,” said Kelly.
“Wild America, Airbud, Jamanji, Small Solders, Blade Runner, hate that movie, Terminator, hate it too, Operation Dumbo Drop, gay, Babysitters Club-“
“I don’t care what movie you guys choose,” I said.
I walked away and sat in front of the TV and played Frogger.
After Sarah and Kelly chose a movie, I turned the game off and sat on the couch.
“What movie are you watching?” I asked.
“I know What You Did Last Summer Natalie,” Kelly yelled.
I knew she was joking and acting.
“Ha ha very funny,” I said sarcastically.
As we watched the movie, my tummy ache got much worse. I slumped down.
(Author’s Note: Doesn’t Natalie not like horror movies? Now she is watching I Know What You Did Last Summer? I totally forgot I had her not like them so I never read the other story before writing this one again. I like horror movies)
“Natalie, are you okay? You look pale,” said Sarah.
“I’ll be okay,” I said. “I just got a real bad stomachache.”
“Take your coat off Nat,” said Kelly. “It’s pretty warm in here.”
Nat used to be my nickname when I was little but today I prefer to be called by Natalie.
“No,” I said. I didn’t want to take my coat off or Sarah would find out I wear diapers and she probably wouldn’t like me.
“C’mon,” said Kelly.
She grabbed my coat. I held on to it real tight. My sister kept tugging at it.
“No,” I said a little louder.
“C’mon, it won’t kill you to take it off.”
“I know it won’t but it will if she finds out about my-“ I cut myself off.
“I’m sure she already knows,” said Kelly. “because you won’t take your coat off.”
“Know what?” Sarah asked.
“Nothing,” I said.
“About her diapers,” Kelly said.
“Kelly!” I shrieked.
Kelly let go of me and backed away. “Sorry, it slipped it slipped,” she said as she had her hands out. “Honest.”
I was so humiliated, I was angry, and I wanted to try and humiliate her back so I said, “Oh yeah, sometimes you masturbate in the middle of the night you know that? And I wake up sometimes because the beds are shaking by you masturbating your own crotch by your hands.”
Kelly froze. Her face was beat red. Some of it was humiliation but most of it was anger. I could see it in her eyes. Then she snapped. She quickly grabbed me by my hair and coat. I had totally jumped inside me and I almost shirked because of her sudden movement. I wasn’t expecting that to happen. Kelly smacked me across the face and banged my head against the arm of the couch. I was so mad about her humiliating me and all of a sudden she wants to fight. Okay I’ll fight. I’ll do it to make myself feel better.
Okay you wanna fight, I thought. Then let the game began.
“That is not true,” she yelled. “And you know it. How dare you humiliate me in front of my new friend.”
“You humiliated me too,” I said. “So why can’t I do it to you.”
“I told you. it slipped out. It was an accident. Don’t you now anything?” and she banged me against the arm of the couch again.
I got up and tried to jump on top of her but she pushed me away.
I was angrier. I no longer felt the pain in my tummy.
I took the cushions off the couch and threw them at my sister.
“You’re stepping on thin ice sister,” she said angrily as she caught them.
I pretended to calm down. I took some deep breaths.
After Kelly turned her back, I ran up to her and jumped on her back.
“Get off me right now,” she yelled.
“Make me,” I said angrily.
I wanted to fight so bad.
Kelly bit my arm.
I pulled her hair as I bit her rear shoulder.
“Will you two stop it,” said Sarah.
Kelly quit biting me and pinched me instead. I bit her as hard as I could, then I decided that was enough so I pulled her hair as hard as I could.
Kelly used all her strength to pull mine back. As she did it, my ponytail came out and Kelly threw my hair thing across the room but it only went about a foot.
Okay I guess I was exaggerating when I told you she threw it across the room.
Sarah tried to pull us apart and we both fell down. I kept my arms and legs wrapped around Kelly.
“Natalie, let go of your sister,” said Sarah.
I ignored her. I squeezed my sister as hard as I could.
Sarah left us alone and came back and blew her black plastic flute in our ears really hard. It made a high pitch sound and it hurt my ears so bad I grabbed it out of her hands and threw it. It hit the pool table and broke in half.
“Ooops, sorry,” I said. “Next time don’t blow anything in my ears.”
I continued squeezing my sister.
“Hey hey hey,” said Sarah’s mother as she came in.
“She broke my flute,” Sarah said as she pointed at me.
“You blew it in my ears,” I yelled.
“You won’t stop fighting,” she yelled back.
“Okay you two. Stop,” said her mother as she pushed us apart. “Or you’ll have to leave.”
“She humiliated me,” I cried. “Now Sarah probably thinks I’m weird.”
“I do not,” she said. “Lot of girls’ your age get their periods. I even get mine.”
“What does me wearing diapers got to do with girls’ having their periods?” I asked.
After Kelly and I stopped fighting, I kept crying and Sarah’s mother went back downstairs.
“Natalie, I’m sorry. It slipped,” said Kelly.
“Yeah,” said Sarah. “You don’t need to be embarrassed because I wear diapers too.”
I was shocked. Finally I realized I’m not alone.
“You do?” I said.
“You’re kidding,” said Kelly.
“No I’m not but I’m not wearing one now because I don’t have my period.”
“Haven’t you ever heard of the word pad?” I asked.
“Why do you wear diapers instead?’ Kelly asked.
“Yeah that sounds weird,” I said.
“No it isn’t. all women wear them, even my mom. Here, I’ll show you.”
Kelly and I waited after Sarah left to get them. I wondered what they looked like but instead Sarah came back with an open pack of Always. I was very disappointed.
“You liar,” said Kelly. “Those aren’t diapers.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Those are pads.”
“Diapers,” said Sarah.
“Pads.”
“Diapers.”
“Pads.”
“Never mind. I’m not going to argue with you.”
“And by the way, Kelly doesn’t masturbate in the middle of the night,” I lied. “I made that up because I was mad at her.”
Of course Kelly really does masturbate in the middle of the night. She sleeps doing it. She does it almost every night.
“Do you really wear diapers? The ones that go round your bottom like Depends?” Sarah asked.
“No,” I lied.
“Let me see.”
Sarah tried to lift my coat back I ran away from her.
“I bet you really do wear them because you won’t let me see.”
I kept running away from her.
“C’mon, I’m not going to make fun of you. I just wanna see.”
I didn’t trust her. I was too afraid because of what I’ve been through when I was little.
“Natalie, it’s okay. Come here and I’ll help you escape,” said Kelly.
I ran over to her but boy was I wrong because she had grabbed me so Sarah could see I had a diaper on.
“Here Sarah, I’ve got her,” she said.
Sarah lift up my coat and felt my butt. “Oh you do wear them. I could tell by looking.”
“You bitch,” I yelled as I pushed my sister.
“You can’t hide your secret Nat. she will find out anyway,” she said.
“Why do you wear them anyway?” Sarah asked. “So you can have a diaper adventure just like Ashley?”
“That’s it,” I yelled. “if you wanna make fun of me, go right ahead,” and I left the playroom.
“No Natalie wait, I was teasing,” Sarah shouted. “Come back, I didn’t mean it.”
I came back. “Good,” I said. “One more insult from you, I’m leaving.”
“Who’s Ashley?” Kelly asked.
“I’ll be right back,” said Sarah.
She left the room and came back and shut the door behind her and locked it. She pulled out a bunch of papers stapled together from under her shirt and gave them to Kelly.
“Promise me you won’t tell my parents?” said Sarah.
“Yes,” Kelly replied.
“Good because if you do, I’ll never tell you another secret.”
“Ashley’s Diaper Adventures,” Kelly read. “Where did you get this?”
“A friend gave it to me before I moved,” Sarah replied. “But you can’t tell anyone about it.”
“Can I see?” I asked.
Kelly pulled the papers away from me. “You have to promise you won’t tell anyone,” she said. “Not your mom, not your dad, not your brothers, not your friends, no one.”
“Okay,” I said.
I reached for them.
Kelly pulled them away from me again. “You understand?”
“Yes,” I said. “Now give them to me.”
Kelly gave them to me and I looked at it.
“What is this story about?” I asked.
“You have to read it,” Sarah replied.
As I was reading the beginning of it, Kelly snatch it out of my hands.
“Hey,” I cried.
“I wanna see it,” she said.
As we watched the rest of I Know What You Did Last Summer, Kelly kept reading the story.
“Can I have it back?” I asked.
Kelly pulled them away again. “I’m reading it. Don’t go grabbing things out of my hands, it’s rude.”
“Well you did it to me,” I pointed out.
“That’s because I had them first,” Kelly replied.
“But you gave them to me.”
“To look at, not read.”
“But Sarah told me I had to read it if I wanted to know what it was about.”
“She meant after I’m done.”
At least I read the beginning of it. I was only at the part when Ashley wakes up and finds that she had wet her bed again. It was like the Britney Spears song “Oops I Did It Again” but instead it was “Oops I wetted again.”
“Hey Sarah, how come you don’t want anybody to know about the story you gave Kelly to read?” I asked.
“Because it’s dirty,” she replied.
“How’s it dirty?”
“It just is.”
“But how?”
“You’ll just have to read it.”
“I can’t. Kelly’s reading it.”
Sarah got up and took the papers away from Kelly
“Can I see these for a moment?” she said.
She ripped them apart and gave the half back to Kelly and the rest to me.
I read it. It was at the part when Ashley and her family were on the road. My favorite part was Ashley going potty in her diaper. Yuck. But I can keep that a secret by not telling anyone that’s it’s my favorite part of the story or unless someone else admits it’s their favorite part of the story. This story made me feel better about me wearing diapers. I could have a diaper adventure of my own except it’ll be called Natalie’s Diaper Adventure. I felt bad for breaking Sarah’s flute so I apologized to her just to be nice.
“Oh that’s okay. You didn’t really break it. It just comes apart because it’s loose. See?” Sarah showed me by putting her flute back together and pulling it apart again.
“Has it always been like that since you’ve gotten it?” I asked.
“No, not until a couple years ago. My brother threw it because he got mad at me because I wouldn’t stop playing it.”
“Which one threw it? The thir-“
“Matt, the thirteen year old.”
As I read some more of the story my stomachache got so bad I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
(That is the end of the whole story. I never got far past this. See why it’s never good to leave a story unfinished and then go to the next in the same series? Natalie seemed to be at her early stages of accepting her diapers now thanks to a story but in the other one, she still didn’t accept it and it took place after this story. I don’t even remember what I was going to do with this one. I had in mind Natalie had diarrhea at Sarah’s house and she has a diaper blow out so she runs home crying and being all humiliated and her mother cleans her up and put her in a clean diaper. Natalie’s doesn’t go back because she is so embarrassed and fears being made fun of. That was why she had a tummy ache. She got sick with something and got diarrhea. Then at the very end of this story Natalie notices a change in her dad around Friday the 13th and it doesn’t go away)