Post by Bad Beth on Mar 14, 2016 21:15:16 GMT
This story is done by request of someone who is a fan of my Natalie stories and he kept asking me about if Kelly were incontinent. How would she handle it, how different would it be for her than it is for Natalie. What if it was Kelly that got hurt in the car accident and ended up in diapers? What if Natalie didn’t get incontinent so she still had her control? How different would her life be? How different would Kelly’s life be?
Chapter 1
I woke up from this awful smell in the middle of the night. My little sister Kelly had pooped her diaper again. I tried to ignore the smell. I held my nose closed and I kept letting go to see if the room still stunk. It did. I hated when my sister would poop in her diaper at night. She doesn’t do it on purpose, she has no control because she was in a car accident when she was four and I was seven. We were going back from the doctor’s and then a drunk driver rammed into the back of our minivan totaling it and Kelly had to go to the hospital and was knocked out for ten days. Then she woke up and didn’t talk for a while and was withdrawn. She also has some problems learning in school but she is still normal because she still has her friends despite getting teased about her diapers. How is she able to still be normal and have friends while I can’t be normal. This is why I am the one who has to be mean to her to make her not normal so I will feel better about myself. If I can’ be normal, then she can’t be either.
I am Natalie Evans and I am almost sixteen and Kelly just turned thirteen. We live in Saltwater, Washington. I have blonde hair and blue eyes and Kelly has the same hair color as me. I have a little brother named Matthew who is nine and an older brother Brian who is twenty-two and he goes to college and lives on his own and has a girlfriend named Kate. We have two cats and one dog who is a yellow Lab. His name is Skippy. My cat is named Princess and she is a gray tabby cat and Mittens is Kelly’s and she had black fur with white paws which is why Mittens is her name.
I couldn’t stand the smell any longer and I opened the window. Kelly hates it when I open the window but I tell her to go change then and I will close it. I went back to bed and the room aired out.
Later I woke up to Kelly changing her diaper. She changes in the bathroom because she likes her privacy and won’t do to in front of me despite that we are both girls. Plus she says it’s easier to clean up in there when she has a accident between diapers. I get so jealous of her because she gets to wear them. I tried them on before and liked them and they are so comfortable to pee in and I pooped in one once and liked it but Mom Dad always got mad at me so now they keep them locked up and Kelly has her own chest to keep some of her diapers in and she has to put in the code and unlock it and get a diaper out.
I am what they call a DL which stands for diaper lover. I was so happy when I found out to not be the only one who liked diapers and wanted to wear them. I didn’t know how normal it was. I found out on the internet about diaper lovers and adult babies and now I like sneaking onto those websites clearing my history so I won’t get caught. Mom and Dad think it’s a bad influence so they won’t let me on them.
I also had to pee bad and it was a good feeling to have a full bladder because I always imagine wearing a diaper and peeing in it and I like to masturbate with a full bladder imagining I am wearing a diaper and peeing in it.
Kelly came back in the bedroom and saw the window was open so she closed it and crawled back into bed. The smell was gone and she doesn’t throw her diapers away in here, she throws them away outside in the garage in the trash can. I sometimes wish I was the one who was hurt instead of her but I know I wouldn’t really want it or kids would have teased me even worse in school because it would be another thing for them to make fun of me about. Now I go to a different school for kids who need more help and I got kicked out of my regular school because I was acting out a scene from James Bond and kids were enjoying it so I kept on doing it until I got kicked out of the room and got sent to the office. Then I got expelled and my Dad found Rosa Parks Alternative Learning School for me.
I was eating breakfast in the morning. Kelly was taking so long to come downstairs. It was the first day of February. Twenty-one more days until I turn Sweet sixteen.
Mom didn’t say anything about Kelly taking so long. She was working on her drawing in the living room. Ever since Dad had crashed his car due to drinking, our whole family has been suffering because he has all these fines he has to pay so Mom has been working using her talent to sell her work to make money. It helps us out so we can keep our cable and internet and do some fun stuff or buy some extra food.
Another reason for me to be mean to Kelly, she treats Mom bad. Nothing she does is ever good enough for her so she always complains about Mom. Says she is mean, says she doesn’t care, says she is abusive. But Mom gets mad at me when I am mean to Kelly about her incontinence. She tells me, “That is enough Natalie, stop it right now” and starts yelling at me when I don’t listen. Kelly also doesn’t consider her as her mother because she says she has no mother and she calls her retarded. Mom is different too but she is more different than me. She hasn’t had a job in eleven years and she needs Dad to help her function in life and she has a hard time with people and relating to them and talking to them. She also has her routines and doesn’t like change and she is sensitive to lot of things like clothes and smells and sounds and she does her weird behavior like make funny sounds or starts slapping herself and she also rocks like I do and she gets very upset when a rule is broken and she has tantrums and she doesn’t like unexpected visitors so she never answers the door unless she is expecting someone. If Mom has to not do her routine, she gets worn out and she gets irritable. We both have Asperger’s but mine isn’t bad as hers. I can see some of myself in her and I wonder if I was a normie, would I hate my mother too and be fighting with her also like Brian did when he lived here and thinking of her as bad like Kelly does. Dad gets mad at Mum too because of her problem. I feel I have to protect her from Kelly and Dad. At least I am doing something good. When Kelly is mean to Mom, I make fun of her about her diapers. I also do it when she gets in my way of what I always do like if she has the TV when I watch my show at that time or has the computer when I want to be on it. I always love it when she isn’t home. I also say things to my Dad about his past drinking to punish him and whenever I am mad at him. My therapist I see every Saturday thinks I am being disrespectful because they are adults and I am a child and therefore I shouldn’t be talking to him that way and treating my sister that way but she doesn’t get Dad did a bad thing and Kelly is bad to our mother so they don’t deserve respect, respect is given until they prove they don’t deserve it. I get told what I am doing is normal teen behavior but it doesn’t make it okay behavior.
I am never mean to Mom about her wetting problem. She wets the bed and has been trying to retrain herself so she will have control of her bladder again. The stress of my dad’s drinking made her have accidents so she started wearing diapers too like my sister and then she decided to start potty training in January. She also keeps her diapers locked up so I can’t get any. I also envy her. I wish I could lose bladder control or start having accidents, then they would have to put me in them. If I dare to be mean to my mother about it, I would be in trouble. There would be silent treatments and everything. I can’t have that. I had it happen before and it was hell when I put her down about her bed wetting and her accidents she sometimes has because I was mad at her about something. I used to tease her about needing diapers and she never punished me for it so I kept on doing it. Now I don’t tease her about needing them anymore, I don’t know why.
Kelly came downstairs and she went to the fridge and grabbed an apple. I finished eating and put my bowl in the sink. I got ready for school. I had a checklist to look at to be sure I was ready. Mom made one for me because she got tired of having to fight my brother and me to be ready for school. Here is my list Mom made me:
Teeth brushed
Hair combed
Coat
Shoes
Binder
Backpack
Do you need more lunch money?
Anything you need to bring
The rule is Matthew and me are not allowed to do anything until we have done everything on the list. I brushed my teeth and hair as always and I remembered to get everything that is on the list including my Game Boy Color. I set everything on the steps for when it’s time to go. Mom keeps our list in our bedroom, and kitchen so we can see it.
I don’t know why it’s so hard to get ready in the morning. It’s so easy but yet I was always forgetting something and had to rush around the last minute when my van would arrive. That is the bus I take to school. But now Mom has solved the problem. She does checklists so she made one for us finally.
I played GoldenEye in the den until it was time for me to go to school. Mom called me and said my ride was here. I turned the game off and the TV and went to the staircase and put my shoes on and my coat and my backpack. I went out to the van.
“Bye, have a good day,” said Mom looking at her drawing.
I went to the van and got in and closed the door behind me. I saw down in a seat and put my seatbelt on. Gary was sitting in the back and I do not like him. He calls everyone Asperger’s but he pronounces it as Ass Burgers. He used to call me that until I punched him in the face and I got suspended from riding in the van for a week. Now he hasn’t bothered me since but I still don’t like him. I am not Asperger’s nor Ass Burgers, I am Natalie.
I saw Cindy sitting in the seat in front of Gary. She is only eleven but looks nine. Mark was sitting next to her and then there was Brian (not my brother, a different Brian) who was sitting behind Sam, the driver.
Music was playing again and this time Smash Mouth was playing. It was “All Star” that was playing.
We picked up more kids, Jerry who lives in Battleground, Laruen, Lonnie who lives near Lauren but not far, and Gracie who lives in Brush Prairie.
When we got to school, I headed to the bathroom and took a pee before class. I have a potty schedule to avoid having to go during class. Some teachers give us only three passes per quarter so once they ae used up, we can’t leave until class is over. My potty schedule is like this:
7:00 pee when I get out of bed
8:50 pee when I first get to school before class
12:00 Pee during lunch
3:30 pee after school gets out
5:00 pee again
8:00 take another pee before bed
I must keep my bladder empty so I won’t feel the need to go. Mom always went on a potty schedule to avoid accidents. I do it so I wouldn’t have to go. But in the mornings I do have a full bladder and I sometimes masturbate. I sometimes do it during the day too if I let myself get a full bladder when it’s not a school day. I don’t have a potty schedule on the weekends.
I put my backpack in my locker and my coat and headed to English. I saw Mrs. Robison my aide. She is with me in every class and she protects me from other kids. I like having her around because it makes kids leave me alone so it’s not so embarrassing and I don’t care if it means I am different. At least I am safe from other kids. She also helps me with my homework and she takes me out of class if I get too upset and start yelling and crying and throwing things. I also curl my hands into fists because I feel like throwing everything and I know that is not allowed or else I will get into trouble. I sometimes hit myself in the head when I have all these feeling inside of me I can’t get rid of. Mrs. Larson is our English teacher but is a subbing for Mrs. Pennysworth who is on maternity leave. She was on bed rest and then she went into early labor back in November and had her baby and she should be back this month now.
Mrs. Larson isn’t just my English teacher, she is also my friend. I am also her son’s girlfriend who goes to my school. We have things in common, Mrs. Larson that is. But in her class, she wants me to call her Mrs. Larson because her rule is in this school, I am to call her by her last name, not Jen until school is out of session. She treats me like one of her pupils instead of as a friend or someone she knows. She can’t give out special treatment or it wouldn’t be fair.
When the bell rang, Mrs. Larson took attendance and then put it by the door. We have a student that comes and collects all the attendance binders and brings them to the office.
We did DOL and then we read a play in a book and we all took turns reading our parts. Then we worked on our book assignments we had been working on for this quarter.
After class ended, I headed to what they call the Resource Room where I do math. They give me different kind of math I would be using in my life time because I am not able to do other math kids my age are doing. It was just too hard and I wasn’t learning or grasping it so they quit teaching me it and gave me different math back in December. I was learning to balance a checkbook and budget money and I do addition and subtraction and I am allowed to use a calculator. I also had to write a fake check and it was pretty easy to learn.
Mr. Brooks gave me a math assignment to do after the bell rang and when he took attendance. It was life skills stuff again. I had to round, be frugal by trying to pick items that are on sale spending a certain amount, put the correct amount in the checking statement, write a check, balance the checkbook and I had to do some of these problems and then Mrs. Robison said I could play on the computer. I played Thinkin’ Things 2. I clicked on the earth and I played some art program. It had music and you could make objects move and change the shape of them and do some painting and change the background and music. My favorite one is the ballerina. I could listen to it for a long time because the music is so relaxing. After I listened to all the songs, I went to the cube that had squares and windows on the main menu. It was one of those art studio things again. I watched the circles move around on screen in the background and clicked on “ideas” and looked at each background. Then I left the studio and played concentration.
Racheal-Ann who is also in the resource room was sitting next to me and she played concentration with me. We are friends and we do computer together. Our teachers makes us do computer time together. Mrs. Robison told me two weeks ago that they do this to teach me to get along with people and get better social skills and it’s also to help Racheal Ann so she can gain trust in people and learn to interact with them. I don’t even understand the big deal about social skills. I would have good social skills if people are nice to me and be my friend, then my social problems are over but my Dad said social skills is more than having friends and talking to people and mine are below the age level. I don’t know how mine are below the age level. Kelly thinks I am like a little kid, an eight year old or a nine year old and she says I act younger too than my own age. I don’t know why everyone makes a fuss about my social skills. Mom doesn’t make a fuss about it and says mine are okay. I told Dad that and he said Mom doesn’t know anything, hers are bad so she wouldn’t know the difference. Compared to her mine are good because mine are better than hers so she thinks mine are fine.
Racheal-Ann won the round of the game and we played a harder level and this time I won. Then we quit the game and went to the drums. It has been getting easier to just share the computer and taking turns in playing a game but Rachel Ann mostly lets me do whatever I want to do. She is also in the resource room all day while I only come in here for Math and study skills. I think she is lucky because she can be on the computer all day long. I wish I could be on it all day long but sadly I have other classes and schoolwork and voc rehab.
When class ended, I headed to Spanish with my aide. I met with my boyfriend Jason who also has Asperger’s. We are also in the same therapy group we go to every Tuesday and Thursday. We both love video games and we always hang out in his room at his apartment or hang out at home in my room or den. He finds it my nicknames for my sister hilarious like “Stunky butt” “Diaper girl” Nappy girl” “Miss Shitter” and I have sang my own version of Mister Sandman and it goes “Miss shitter, make her stop smelling and make her continent, give her bowel and bladder control, and make the room stop smelling, Miss Shitter, please get her fixed so she can wear some underwear again” and Jason has made up some of his own nicknames for her which was even more hilarious and I love seeing the reaction Kelly gives us so I do it to keep seeing it from her. My school therapist once asked me how do I think it makes her feel and I said I didn’t know because I can’t read her mind. I just know she doesn’t like it because she always tells me to shut up and gives me looks and when she ignores me, I just go touching her butt and crotch because no way she can ignore that and I know she doesn’t like it because she pulls and pushes me away telling me to get off. But my therapist says these are not feelings, these are thoughts. I just know she doesn’t like it but I do not know how she feels. Also this is called sibling rivalry I found out so this is all normal so I am normal after all when I do it.
I told Jason about the stinky incident at night.
“Ewww I am so sorry,” he said. “What did you do about it?”
“I opened the window,” I said.
“Bed shitter, get it instead of bed sitter,” said Jason.
I laughed.
“Miss Shitter, make her stop smelling and make her continent, give her bowel and bladder control, and make the room stop smelling, Miss Shitter, please get her fixed so she can wear some underwear again,” I sang.
“And enough of these stinky diapers,” Jason sang. “She stinks up the house and makes the food smell bad.”
Jason sang his other lyrics to the song and I laughed so hard at it.
Then the bell rang and it was time for class to begin.
School finally got out and I took another pee before going home. I headed to the van and got in. Gary, Brian, Cindy, Lonnie, Mark, and Jerry were already here. We waited for the rest. Gracie came out and got in, then Lauren came next. Everyone was now here and we waited for the rest of the buses and vans to pull out before we could.
We listened to music on the way home again. Everyone did a vote on what station to listen to. We had a choice between Kissin’ FM and z100 or Cindy’s Backstreet Boys CD. I voted for Kissin’ while almost everyone else voted for Z100 so Sam turned it to that station. I don’t really like that station anymore because it’s boring and they don’t play the songs anymore they used to play because of top 40 and top 40 always changes and they stopped doing the Z Morning Zoo and the people who would do the show are no longer working at the station so they don’t talk on the station anymore.
Cindy just took out her CD player and listened to her CD instead while I had to listen to this station. At least they don’t use bad language anymore, the old announcers did and Dad didn’t really approve but he is gone most of the time except weekends. He gets up before I do and leaves for work and comes home late because he has to take the bus to work. But even before his license got suspended, he was still gone most of the time because he would go to the bar and drink or hang out at a friend’s after work and when he would be home, he would sit with a beer can in his hand or a beer bottle and fight with our mother. But it wasn’t always like this because he was around more when I was little. Now there is barely any communication between them except for when Dad wants to whine about the house not being perfect. They still sleep in the same bed but Dad had started to complain again about Mom waking him up at night going to the bathroom so he told her to forget about nights and just go in her diaper or they are sleeping separate again. Mom decided to let him sleep on his own so he has. How could Mom resist her diapers, she is so lucky to wear them just like Kelly but she won’t poop in them. I decided to joke with her one day telling her why can’t she just go in her diaper instead of leaving what she is doing and she said it was gross and she isn’t pooping in her pants and cleaning it up.
Sam dropped me off at my house and I was so glad to be home. I walked through our lawn and through our front door. Mom was in the living room working as always. She had the sheet up between the hallway and living room so Dad wouldn’t have to see it. Dad had a problem with Mom’s art stuff being in there because she never put it away and she refuses to put it away and take it back out every day so she just leaves it out. It drove Dad crazy so she grabbed a sheet from the hall closet upstairs and put it up and pounded in some nails through the sheet and she did the same with the dining room too. She put it up between the living room and dining room. Dad of course still protested about it and told her why couldn’t she just do it in the den and she said it’s where the kids play and he said when was the last time we ever played in that room with the toys and maybe it’s time we pack it away and make the room into something else. Mom said I play video games in there and he said I can play them in my room, I have my own TV up there so move the game system and the tape player. Mom can be stubborn of course and so is Dad so they both end up arguing.
I put my stuff away and went upstairs. I went in my room to get on the computer and Kelly was on it. She sighed. “Let me sign off,” she said.
“Good diaper girl,” I said.
Kelly said nothing.
She typed on the computer and she was on messenger talking to her friends from school and then she got off and let me on. I used my own screen name and signed on and went on Shockwave and did a Daily jigsaw. I wanted to go to diaper sites but Kelly was here. After I finished the Daily Jigsaw, I looked up James Bond and looked at photos and reading peoples comments about the movies and I also looked up the videogame I always play and I love the Natalya bashing. She does act stupid in the game. She gets in your way when you shoot, she tells you to keep it down because she can’t hear herself think while you are shooting bad guys to keep them from killing her while she is trying to disable the satellite. I stay on it until six o clock and then it’s time to watch TV or play video games. I just have to pick what I want to watch today. Mom was already making dinner when I came downstairs. I went in the den. I turned on the TV to see what was on. There was nothing on right now so I played video games for a half hour. We had a bunch of Nintendo 64 games now because Brian accidentally put in the wrong bid for the package and we won so he had to pay all that money and it was a Christmas present for all of us kids. One of them was Zelda so I was playing it. I had to figure out how to get to the second floor of the second dungeon on Death Mountain. I knew I needed to use a cheat book to tell me how. We also had a duplicate game which was Blast Corps. One of the other games we got was Mario Party and some of them were racing games and the other was Superman and a few were sport games. There were twenty five games total.
Then Matthew came in the room and watched me play. He asked what am I trying to do and I told him I was trying to figure out how to get to the second floor and he asked if he can figure it out. I handed him the controller and he started playing. While he ran around on the bottom level, I played with my old Little Tykes dollhouse. I brushed the dust off and moved furniture around in there and placed the baby in the buggy and one of the kids in the swing.
Matthew kept playing and he was in a room again with a bunch of bomb flowers. He was messing around and playing with bombs and Deku sticks.
I kept playing and I felt the urge to poop coming. I imagined myself wearing a diaper and pooping in it. Kelly was so lucky to poop in hers.
Matthew threw one of the bombs at the bobs flowers and some of them blew up too with the bomb.
“I think you need to blow up all these bombs at once,” said Matthew.
I took the controller back from him and started playing the game again. I enjoyed the poop feeling inside my butt. Then I paused the game and went to the bathroom and did my business and went back to the game.
Chapter 1
I woke up from this awful smell in the middle of the night. My little sister Kelly had pooped her diaper again. I tried to ignore the smell. I held my nose closed and I kept letting go to see if the room still stunk. It did. I hated when my sister would poop in her diaper at night. She doesn’t do it on purpose, she has no control because she was in a car accident when she was four and I was seven. We were going back from the doctor’s and then a drunk driver rammed into the back of our minivan totaling it and Kelly had to go to the hospital and was knocked out for ten days. Then she woke up and didn’t talk for a while and was withdrawn. She also has some problems learning in school but she is still normal because she still has her friends despite getting teased about her diapers. How is she able to still be normal and have friends while I can’t be normal. This is why I am the one who has to be mean to her to make her not normal so I will feel better about myself. If I can’ be normal, then she can’t be either.
I am Natalie Evans and I am almost sixteen and Kelly just turned thirteen. We live in Saltwater, Washington. I have blonde hair and blue eyes and Kelly has the same hair color as me. I have a little brother named Matthew who is nine and an older brother Brian who is twenty-two and he goes to college and lives on his own and has a girlfriend named Kate. We have two cats and one dog who is a yellow Lab. His name is Skippy. My cat is named Princess and she is a gray tabby cat and Mittens is Kelly’s and she had black fur with white paws which is why Mittens is her name.
I couldn’t stand the smell any longer and I opened the window. Kelly hates it when I open the window but I tell her to go change then and I will close it. I went back to bed and the room aired out.
Later I woke up to Kelly changing her diaper. She changes in the bathroom because she likes her privacy and won’t do to in front of me despite that we are both girls. Plus she says it’s easier to clean up in there when she has a accident between diapers. I get so jealous of her because she gets to wear them. I tried them on before and liked them and they are so comfortable to pee in and I pooped in one once and liked it but Mom Dad always got mad at me so now they keep them locked up and Kelly has her own chest to keep some of her diapers in and she has to put in the code and unlock it and get a diaper out.
I am what they call a DL which stands for diaper lover. I was so happy when I found out to not be the only one who liked diapers and wanted to wear them. I didn’t know how normal it was. I found out on the internet about diaper lovers and adult babies and now I like sneaking onto those websites clearing my history so I won’t get caught. Mom and Dad think it’s a bad influence so they won’t let me on them.
I also had to pee bad and it was a good feeling to have a full bladder because I always imagine wearing a diaper and peeing in it and I like to masturbate with a full bladder imagining I am wearing a diaper and peeing in it.
Kelly came back in the bedroom and saw the window was open so she closed it and crawled back into bed. The smell was gone and she doesn’t throw her diapers away in here, she throws them away outside in the garage in the trash can. I sometimes wish I was the one who was hurt instead of her but I know I wouldn’t really want it or kids would have teased me even worse in school because it would be another thing for them to make fun of me about. Now I go to a different school for kids who need more help and I got kicked out of my regular school because I was acting out a scene from James Bond and kids were enjoying it so I kept on doing it until I got kicked out of the room and got sent to the office. Then I got expelled and my Dad found Rosa Parks Alternative Learning School for me.
I was eating breakfast in the morning. Kelly was taking so long to come downstairs. It was the first day of February. Twenty-one more days until I turn Sweet sixteen.
Mom didn’t say anything about Kelly taking so long. She was working on her drawing in the living room. Ever since Dad had crashed his car due to drinking, our whole family has been suffering because he has all these fines he has to pay so Mom has been working using her talent to sell her work to make money. It helps us out so we can keep our cable and internet and do some fun stuff or buy some extra food.
Another reason for me to be mean to Kelly, she treats Mom bad. Nothing she does is ever good enough for her so she always complains about Mom. Says she is mean, says she doesn’t care, says she is abusive. But Mom gets mad at me when I am mean to Kelly about her incontinence. She tells me, “That is enough Natalie, stop it right now” and starts yelling at me when I don’t listen. Kelly also doesn’t consider her as her mother because she says she has no mother and she calls her retarded. Mom is different too but she is more different than me. She hasn’t had a job in eleven years and she needs Dad to help her function in life and she has a hard time with people and relating to them and talking to them. She also has her routines and doesn’t like change and she is sensitive to lot of things like clothes and smells and sounds and she does her weird behavior like make funny sounds or starts slapping herself and she also rocks like I do and she gets very upset when a rule is broken and she has tantrums and she doesn’t like unexpected visitors so she never answers the door unless she is expecting someone. If Mom has to not do her routine, she gets worn out and she gets irritable. We both have Asperger’s but mine isn’t bad as hers. I can see some of myself in her and I wonder if I was a normie, would I hate my mother too and be fighting with her also like Brian did when he lived here and thinking of her as bad like Kelly does. Dad gets mad at Mum too because of her problem. I feel I have to protect her from Kelly and Dad. At least I am doing something good. When Kelly is mean to Mom, I make fun of her about her diapers. I also do it when she gets in my way of what I always do like if she has the TV when I watch my show at that time or has the computer when I want to be on it. I always love it when she isn’t home. I also say things to my Dad about his past drinking to punish him and whenever I am mad at him. My therapist I see every Saturday thinks I am being disrespectful because they are adults and I am a child and therefore I shouldn’t be talking to him that way and treating my sister that way but she doesn’t get Dad did a bad thing and Kelly is bad to our mother so they don’t deserve respect, respect is given until they prove they don’t deserve it. I get told what I am doing is normal teen behavior but it doesn’t make it okay behavior.
I am never mean to Mom about her wetting problem. She wets the bed and has been trying to retrain herself so she will have control of her bladder again. The stress of my dad’s drinking made her have accidents so she started wearing diapers too like my sister and then she decided to start potty training in January. She also keeps her diapers locked up so I can’t get any. I also envy her. I wish I could lose bladder control or start having accidents, then they would have to put me in them. If I dare to be mean to my mother about it, I would be in trouble. There would be silent treatments and everything. I can’t have that. I had it happen before and it was hell when I put her down about her bed wetting and her accidents she sometimes has because I was mad at her about something. I used to tease her about needing diapers and she never punished me for it so I kept on doing it. Now I don’t tease her about needing them anymore, I don’t know why.
Kelly came downstairs and she went to the fridge and grabbed an apple. I finished eating and put my bowl in the sink. I got ready for school. I had a checklist to look at to be sure I was ready. Mom made one for me because she got tired of having to fight my brother and me to be ready for school. Here is my list Mom made me:
Teeth brushed
Hair combed
Coat
Shoes
Binder
Backpack
Do you need more lunch money?
Anything you need to bring
The rule is Matthew and me are not allowed to do anything until we have done everything on the list. I brushed my teeth and hair as always and I remembered to get everything that is on the list including my Game Boy Color. I set everything on the steps for when it’s time to go. Mom keeps our list in our bedroom, and kitchen so we can see it.
I don’t know why it’s so hard to get ready in the morning. It’s so easy but yet I was always forgetting something and had to rush around the last minute when my van would arrive. That is the bus I take to school. But now Mom has solved the problem. She does checklists so she made one for us finally.
I played GoldenEye in the den until it was time for me to go to school. Mom called me and said my ride was here. I turned the game off and the TV and went to the staircase and put my shoes on and my coat and my backpack. I went out to the van.
“Bye, have a good day,” said Mom looking at her drawing.
I went to the van and got in and closed the door behind me. I saw down in a seat and put my seatbelt on. Gary was sitting in the back and I do not like him. He calls everyone Asperger’s but he pronounces it as Ass Burgers. He used to call me that until I punched him in the face and I got suspended from riding in the van for a week. Now he hasn’t bothered me since but I still don’t like him. I am not Asperger’s nor Ass Burgers, I am Natalie.
I saw Cindy sitting in the seat in front of Gary. She is only eleven but looks nine. Mark was sitting next to her and then there was Brian (not my brother, a different Brian) who was sitting behind Sam, the driver.
Music was playing again and this time Smash Mouth was playing. It was “All Star” that was playing.
We picked up more kids, Jerry who lives in Battleground, Laruen, Lonnie who lives near Lauren but not far, and Gracie who lives in Brush Prairie.
When we got to school, I headed to the bathroom and took a pee before class. I have a potty schedule to avoid having to go during class. Some teachers give us only three passes per quarter so once they ae used up, we can’t leave until class is over. My potty schedule is like this:
7:00 pee when I get out of bed
8:50 pee when I first get to school before class
12:00 Pee during lunch
3:30 pee after school gets out
5:00 pee again
8:00 take another pee before bed
I must keep my bladder empty so I won’t feel the need to go. Mom always went on a potty schedule to avoid accidents. I do it so I wouldn’t have to go. But in the mornings I do have a full bladder and I sometimes masturbate. I sometimes do it during the day too if I let myself get a full bladder when it’s not a school day. I don’t have a potty schedule on the weekends.
I put my backpack in my locker and my coat and headed to English. I saw Mrs. Robison my aide. She is with me in every class and she protects me from other kids. I like having her around because it makes kids leave me alone so it’s not so embarrassing and I don’t care if it means I am different. At least I am safe from other kids. She also helps me with my homework and she takes me out of class if I get too upset and start yelling and crying and throwing things. I also curl my hands into fists because I feel like throwing everything and I know that is not allowed or else I will get into trouble. I sometimes hit myself in the head when I have all these feeling inside of me I can’t get rid of. Mrs. Larson is our English teacher but is a subbing for Mrs. Pennysworth who is on maternity leave. She was on bed rest and then she went into early labor back in November and had her baby and she should be back this month now.
Mrs. Larson isn’t just my English teacher, she is also my friend. I am also her son’s girlfriend who goes to my school. We have things in common, Mrs. Larson that is. But in her class, she wants me to call her Mrs. Larson because her rule is in this school, I am to call her by her last name, not Jen until school is out of session. She treats me like one of her pupils instead of as a friend or someone she knows. She can’t give out special treatment or it wouldn’t be fair.
When the bell rang, Mrs. Larson took attendance and then put it by the door. We have a student that comes and collects all the attendance binders and brings them to the office.
We did DOL and then we read a play in a book and we all took turns reading our parts. Then we worked on our book assignments we had been working on for this quarter.
After class ended, I headed to what they call the Resource Room where I do math. They give me different kind of math I would be using in my life time because I am not able to do other math kids my age are doing. It was just too hard and I wasn’t learning or grasping it so they quit teaching me it and gave me different math back in December. I was learning to balance a checkbook and budget money and I do addition and subtraction and I am allowed to use a calculator. I also had to write a fake check and it was pretty easy to learn.
Mr. Brooks gave me a math assignment to do after the bell rang and when he took attendance. It was life skills stuff again. I had to round, be frugal by trying to pick items that are on sale spending a certain amount, put the correct amount in the checking statement, write a check, balance the checkbook and I had to do some of these problems and then Mrs. Robison said I could play on the computer. I played Thinkin’ Things 2. I clicked on the earth and I played some art program. It had music and you could make objects move and change the shape of them and do some painting and change the background and music. My favorite one is the ballerina. I could listen to it for a long time because the music is so relaxing. After I listened to all the songs, I went to the cube that had squares and windows on the main menu. It was one of those art studio things again. I watched the circles move around on screen in the background and clicked on “ideas” and looked at each background. Then I left the studio and played concentration.
Racheal-Ann who is also in the resource room was sitting next to me and she played concentration with me. We are friends and we do computer together. Our teachers makes us do computer time together. Mrs. Robison told me two weeks ago that they do this to teach me to get along with people and get better social skills and it’s also to help Racheal Ann so she can gain trust in people and learn to interact with them. I don’t even understand the big deal about social skills. I would have good social skills if people are nice to me and be my friend, then my social problems are over but my Dad said social skills is more than having friends and talking to people and mine are below the age level. I don’t know how mine are below the age level. Kelly thinks I am like a little kid, an eight year old or a nine year old and she says I act younger too than my own age. I don’t know why everyone makes a fuss about my social skills. Mom doesn’t make a fuss about it and says mine are okay. I told Dad that and he said Mom doesn’t know anything, hers are bad so she wouldn’t know the difference. Compared to her mine are good because mine are better than hers so she thinks mine are fine.
Racheal-Ann won the round of the game and we played a harder level and this time I won. Then we quit the game and went to the drums. It has been getting easier to just share the computer and taking turns in playing a game but Rachel Ann mostly lets me do whatever I want to do. She is also in the resource room all day while I only come in here for Math and study skills. I think she is lucky because she can be on the computer all day long. I wish I could be on it all day long but sadly I have other classes and schoolwork and voc rehab.
When class ended, I headed to Spanish with my aide. I met with my boyfriend Jason who also has Asperger’s. We are also in the same therapy group we go to every Tuesday and Thursday. We both love video games and we always hang out in his room at his apartment or hang out at home in my room or den. He finds it my nicknames for my sister hilarious like “Stunky butt” “Diaper girl” Nappy girl” “Miss Shitter” and I have sang my own version of Mister Sandman and it goes “Miss shitter, make her stop smelling and make her continent, give her bowel and bladder control, and make the room stop smelling, Miss Shitter, please get her fixed so she can wear some underwear again” and Jason has made up some of his own nicknames for her which was even more hilarious and I love seeing the reaction Kelly gives us so I do it to keep seeing it from her. My school therapist once asked me how do I think it makes her feel and I said I didn’t know because I can’t read her mind. I just know she doesn’t like it because she always tells me to shut up and gives me looks and when she ignores me, I just go touching her butt and crotch because no way she can ignore that and I know she doesn’t like it because she pulls and pushes me away telling me to get off. But my therapist says these are not feelings, these are thoughts. I just know she doesn’t like it but I do not know how she feels. Also this is called sibling rivalry I found out so this is all normal so I am normal after all when I do it.
I told Jason about the stinky incident at night.
“Ewww I am so sorry,” he said. “What did you do about it?”
“I opened the window,” I said.
“Bed shitter, get it instead of bed sitter,” said Jason.
I laughed.
“Miss Shitter, make her stop smelling and make her continent, give her bowel and bladder control, and make the room stop smelling, Miss Shitter, please get her fixed so she can wear some underwear again,” I sang.
“And enough of these stinky diapers,” Jason sang. “She stinks up the house and makes the food smell bad.”
Jason sang his other lyrics to the song and I laughed so hard at it.
Then the bell rang and it was time for class to begin.
School finally got out and I took another pee before going home. I headed to the van and got in. Gary, Brian, Cindy, Lonnie, Mark, and Jerry were already here. We waited for the rest. Gracie came out and got in, then Lauren came next. Everyone was now here and we waited for the rest of the buses and vans to pull out before we could.
We listened to music on the way home again. Everyone did a vote on what station to listen to. We had a choice between Kissin’ FM and z100 or Cindy’s Backstreet Boys CD. I voted for Kissin’ while almost everyone else voted for Z100 so Sam turned it to that station. I don’t really like that station anymore because it’s boring and they don’t play the songs anymore they used to play because of top 40 and top 40 always changes and they stopped doing the Z Morning Zoo and the people who would do the show are no longer working at the station so they don’t talk on the station anymore.
Cindy just took out her CD player and listened to her CD instead while I had to listen to this station. At least they don’t use bad language anymore, the old announcers did and Dad didn’t really approve but he is gone most of the time except weekends. He gets up before I do and leaves for work and comes home late because he has to take the bus to work. But even before his license got suspended, he was still gone most of the time because he would go to the bar and drink or hang out at a friend’s after work and when he would be home, he would sit with a beer can in his hand or a beer bottle and fight with our mother. But it wasn’t always like this because he was around more when I was little. Now there is barely any communication between them except for when Dad wants to whine about the house not being perfect. They still sleep in the same bed but Dad had started to complain again about Mom waking him up at night going to the bathroom so he told her to forget about nights and just go in her diaper or they are sleeping separate again. Mom decided to let him sleep on his own so he has. How could Mom resist her diapers, she is so lucky to wear them just like Kelly but she won’t poop in them. I decided to joke with her one day telling her why can’t she just go in her diaper instead of leaving what she is doing and she said it was gross and she isn’t pooping in her pants and cleaning it up.
Sam dropped me off at my house and I was so glad to be home. I walked through our lawn and through our front door. Mom was in the living room working as always. She had the sheet up between the hallway and living room so Dad wouldn’t have to see it. Dad had a problem with Mom’s art stuff being in there because she never put it away and she refuses to put it away and take it back out every day so she just leaves it out. It drove Dad crazy so she grabbed a sheet from the hall closet upstairs and put it up and pounded in some nails through the sheet and she did the same with the dining room too. She put it up between the living room and dining room. Dad of course still protested about it and told her why couldn’t she just do it in the den and she said it’s where the kids play and he said when was the last time we ever played in that room with the toys and maybe it’s time we pack it away and make the room into something else. Mom said I play video games in there and he said I can play them in my room, I have my own TV up there so move the game system and the tape player. Mom can be stubborn of course and so is Dad so they both end up arguing.
I put my stuff away and went upstairs. I went in my room to get on the computer and Kelly was on it. She sighed. “Let me sign off,” she said.
“Good diaper girl,” I said.
Kelly said nothing.
She typed on the computer and she was on messenger talking to her friends from school and then she got off and let me on. I used my own screen name and signed on and went on Shockwave and did a Daily jigsaw. I wanted to go to diaper sites but Kelly was here. After I finished the Daily Jigsaw, I looked up James Bond and looked at photos and reading peoples comments about the movies and I also looked up the videogame I always play and I love the Natalya bashing. She does act stupid in the game. She gets in your way when you shoot, she tells you to keep it down because she can’t hear herself think while you are shooting bad guys to keep them from killing her while she is trying to disable the satellite. I stay on it until six o clock and then it’s time to watch TV or play video games. I just have to pick what I want to watch today. Mom was already making dinner when I came downstairs. I went in the den. I turned on the TV to see what was on. There was nothing on right now so I played video games for a half hour. We had a bunch of Nintendo 64 games now because Brian accidentally put in the wrong bid for the package and we won so he had to pay all that money and it was a Christmas present for all of us kids. One of them was Zelda so I was playing it. I had to figure out how to get to the second floor of the second dungeon on Death Mountain. I knew I needed to use a cheat book to tell me how. We also had a duplicate game which was Blast Corps. One of the other games we got was Mario Party and some of them were racing games and the other was Superman and a few were sport games. There were twenty five games total.
Then Matthew came in the room and watched me play. He asked what am I trying to do and I told him I was trying to figure out how to get to the second floor and he asked if he can figure it out. I handed him the controller and he started playing. While he ran around on the bottom level, I played with my old Little Tykes dollhouse. I brushed the dust off and moved furniture around in there and placed the baby in the buggy and one of the kids in the swing.
Matthew kept playing and he was in a room again with a bunch of bomb flowers. He was messing around and playing with bombs and Deku sticks.
I kept playing and I felt the urge to poop coming. I imagined myself wearing a diaper and pooping in it. Kelly was so lucky to poop in hers.
Matthew threw one of the bombs at the bobs flowers and some of them blew up too with the bomb.
“I think you need to blow up all these bombs at once,” said Matthew.
I took the controller back from him and started playing the game again. I enjoyed the poop feeling inside my butt. Then I paused the game and went to the bathroom and did my business and went back to the game.