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Post by Bad Beth on Oct 22, 2015 6:50:55 GMT
Chapter 10
I walked right in through the door and closed it hard. The walls rattled and the picture frames on the wall. “Whoa, easy on the door,” Mom called from the kitchen. I kicked off my shoes and tossed them in the closet and my coat and closed the door hard and went upstairs to my parents’ bedroom. I picked up the phone and called my dad’s work. I had to dial the one and the area code down there because it was in a different state. I then had to dial the extension number and his phone rung. He picked up. “Hello?” “Dad,” I cried. “Natalie, what’s the matter?” I told him what happened. “Slow down, I can’t understand you, speak slower,” said Dad. I told him again what happened. “I am sorry she was mean Natalie but right now I am working very hard so I can’t sit here and comfort you so can you wait until I am home and then we’ll talk?” Dad asked. But I couldn’t wait, I had to talk about it now or this would keep on bothering me. “I can’t wait until you get home,” I cried. “I know Natalie but unfortunately I am in the middle of something, you can try talking to your mother.” “She isn’t good at it as you are,” I said. “I know, you need emotional support and she isn’t good at that. But we’ll talk when I get home okay. I got to go now so I will see you when I get home.” “Okay,” I cried. We hung up and I just slammed the phone down. I went in my room and wrote in my diary.
12/22/00
Dear Diary, I baby sat again with my sister and it was at Veronica’s this time. This time she was up in her room in her bed and Kelly and I had to give her some food. Kelly sent me up there and Veronica was mean to me right away so I wasn’t nice to her and then I left her room and she rang her bell again and Kelly wanted me back in her room again to see what she wanted. This time she called me a retard so I got mad and threw her food and she started grabbing me so I grabbed her back and then Kelly came in the room and Veronica lied to her about what happened. She said I started it and Kelly believed her and she sent me home saying it was a big mistake bringing me here and if I didn’t go home, I wouldn’t be able to baby sit with her again. Veronica would not admit she called me retarded. My sister is such a dumb blonde for believing her lies.
I cried as I wrote it. I fantasized about what I should have done to her. I should have grabbed her more hurting her body since she was in pain already and I should have pulled her hair and punched her in the face to teach her to not mess with me. Bad things will always happen to me no matter what I do. I can be the nicest and someone will still treat me bad and I will still be the bad guy. I put my diary away and watched some TV with Matthew in the family room. “I thought you were babysitting, Natalie?” Mom asked me. “I was but Veronica started it and Kelly believed her so she sent me home,” I said. “What did she do?” “She called me retarded and I got mad at her and I grabbed her and threw her food and then Kelly came in her room and she lied about the whole thing.” “That bully. Always know how to push buttons to get you into trouble huh,” said Matthew. “Kelly was a dumb blonde for believing her,” I said. “Kids will get me started and I always get in trouble at school,” said Matthew. “What was her lie?” Mom asked. “She said I started it and wouldn’t say she called me retarded,” I said. “How did she start it?” “She said “what the hell are you doing here?” and I said “babysitting duh” and then I dumped her food on her and she asked me what was wrong with me and I told her she wasn’t being nice so I wasn’t being nice and she said respect is earned. Then I left and she rang her bell again and Kelly sent me back to her room again and she called me retarded this time so I got mad and went after her and then Kelly came in the room and Veronica wouldn’t tell her she called me retarded, instead she showed the food I threw and said I was harassing her and Kelly believed her.” “You both act like wild animals. Every time you both see each other, a fight always occurs,” said Mom. “You have been suspended, gotten in school suspension, suspended from your team, we had to pay for that window you broke.” “You broke her leg,” said Matthew. “Now that you no longer go to the same school, that contract no longer applies,” said Mom. “We never said anything about when you are no longer a student because we didn’t know you would be kicked out and now it’s not the school’s job to handle this because this is not their responsibility.” “How come?” Mathew asked. “Because it would be like your school deciding to punish you for getting into a fight with a random kid in town who doesn’t even live here and your school punished you for it,” said Mom. “But I live here,” I said. “But you don’t go to her school. What if you get in a fight with one of Kelly’s friends, should you be punished in your school for it it?” What a loop hole. Whimper was laying on the floor and then he got up and left the room. I kept watching TV while Mom worked and I still felt mad about the whole incident. Why must everyone always be against me? Then I got up and went upstairs when a show ended and got on the computer in Kelly’s room. I took out one of her CDs and picked Gloria Estefan and waited for the computer to load. When Windows 98 loaded up, I put in the CD and signed onto AOL. I did the Daily Jigsaw again. This was the third time I have had to start over. I did the puzzle and then decided to go to my room to get one of my CDs since I didn’t really like this one. I headed to my room and when I got in there, I saw Whimper in there chewing on one of my Super Nintendo controllers. “Whimper!” I shouted. He stopped and I saw he had chewed it open and there were bare wires sticking out and the cord was all ripped and I saw some of the wires had been cut. I started to scream because I was so upset and they didn’t even make these anymore. “Nooo. Look what you did you stupid dog,” I yelled. “Bad dog.” Mom came rushing upstairs. “What’s going on here?” she shouted. “Look at what he did to one of my controllers,” I cried holding it up. Whimper was standing there looking at us and my mom said, “Oh, he is just a puppy, you can always get a new one.” “They don’t even make them anymore,” I cried tossing it down. “Well I’m sorry it happened, we just have to keep a better eye on him so he won’t chew anything else up,” said Mom. I picked the controller up and threw it away. At least I still had one working controller. Mom picked Whimper up and took him out of my room. “Let’s find you something to teeth on,” Mom told him. I looked at my other games and my game system and my other controller and made sure there was no other damage. I was glad there wasn’t. Next time I will follow him if he isn’t in the room or if he isn’t anywhere to be seen. I will check my room next time if he isn’t around and not in his cage. I picked out one of my CDs and brought it back to Kelly’s room and I made sure my door was closed this time. I took the CD out and put in my own CD and closed it. I mourned over the controller as I looked on the computer. I still felt angry at Whimper and I felt like beating him to teach him a lesson.
Kelly soon came home and I was still mad at Whimper for wrecking my controller and still mad at Kelly for siding against me. I was still on her computer and I was reading adult baby stuff. I clicked out of it when I heard her get closer to her bedroom. She came in and said "Hi Natalie." I didn't say anything. "Natalie, I said hi," said Kelly. I still didn't answer. "Fine, ignore me," she said. She didn't even once apologize and didn't care that I was mad at her. She really was against me and didn't care about hurting me and she still believed Veronica. Oh well, I just won't talk to her ever again until she knows I am right and apologizes for hurting me. Whimper came in Kelly's room and I just ignored him. There was nothing in here for him to destroy. I was looking up James Bond when Kelly started to scream. "No no no." I looked and saw Whimper had his leg lifted and he was taking a piss. He had done it on purpose so it was no accident. Kelly picked him up and started shouting "Mom?" Kelly kept calling her and then she came back up with some paper towels and she soaked up the pee. I was so glad Whimper didn't do it in my room and I had to remember I was not speaking to Kelly so I couldn't tell her that he had done it on purpose. Kelly used a bunch of paper towels and then she got a towel wet and wiped it over the spot. I kept looking on the computer and then I heard the downstairs door open and Mom and Dad were back. I ran downstairs to talk to Dad. "Dad, you're back, now we can talk about what I said on the phone," I said. "Natalie, I want to eat first, I just got home," said Dad. "What did you call him about?" Mom asked. "About Veronica being mean to me and Kelly siding against me," I said. Then I told Dad, "You said you would talk to me about it when you got home." "Yes but I meant after I got home, not right when I walk through the door." I felt lied to. I had been waiting all evening for him to get home and now he was still going to make me wait. Kelly came downstairs too and Mom was putting food on the table. She had cooked up some meat and had kernal corn and mashed potatoes and gravy. I wouldn't let myself look at Kelly. I served myself some food and sat down in my chair. Kelly sat down next to me and Mom had to put food on Matthew's plate. I started to eat and not too long later Kelly said. "Whimper peed in my bedroom so I might need you to clean it up but I did get most of it off the rug." "He did what?" Dad asked. "Kelly," said Matthew. "He did it on purpose," I said. "I am sure it was just an accident," said Mom. "No he lifted his leg up, I saw it," I said. "He also chewed up my Super Nintendo controller." "Okay that dog really has to go, he has caused enough trouble already," said Dad. "No," Matthew cried. "Dad," said Kelly. "He has peed enough in the house already and chewed up my shoe and newspaper and barking at night." "He didn't mean to do those things," said Mom. "He lifted his leg," I said again. "That was not an accident." "He is just a puppy so he doesn't know he is supposed to not pee in the house yet," said Mom. "Okay so he doesn't know but it's still not an accident," I said. "Keep that dog locked up whenever he is inside or he will go," said Dad. "That would be very cruel Glen," said Mom. "I will not have my house turn into a huge toilet," Dad shouted. "Would you like you be locked up in a room?" said Mom. "Or what if we had kept Natalie locked in a cage so she wouldn't keep on peeing and pooping every where?" "Don't be so ridiculous, she has nappies." "But she has leaked so what if you had kept her tied to the toilet and never letting her leave it?" "This is a dog, Natalie can go change herself and she understands human language, this animal does not and too bad they don't make nappies for puppies." "They make diapers for dogs," I pointed out. "That is only for female dogs who are in heat," said Mom. "We can get baby diapers," said Matthew. "Good idea. Anita, you can go to the store after dinner and get this dog some nappies in his size and then I wouldn't have to worry about any pee in my house," said Dad. "Where is he now?" I asked. "Outside," said Mom. "Good, keep that damn animal out there," said Dad. We kept eating and I couldn't stand sitting next to Kelly and seeing her and the more I had to wait to talk to Dad, the more the anger grew inside me at Kelly. Then finally I grabbed at her hair and Kelly grabbed me back and started to push me away. I pulled her hair harder and Mom and Dad were shouting at me. I started to choke Kelly but she started to pull my hair so I pulled hers harder. Dad grabbed me and Kelly yelled, "What is the matter with you?" "You believe Veronica's lies," I cried. "You're a shitty sister and a dumb blonde." "What is going on here?" Dad yelled at me. "I told you on the phone," I yelled. I tried to get away from Dad but he kept grabbing me. I tried to pull his hair and pinch him and bite him but he was too strong for me and he pinned me to the floor instead and held me down. I tried to get up but he was on top of me holding me down. I spat at him but he didn't move. "Glen Glen, let me handle it," said Mom. "No I got her," said Dad. "She will just attack me." Mom still kept trying to get him to get off of me but once he started to stand up, I grabbed at him again. "See?" Dad asked as he grabbed me again holding my arms. I kicked at him and Dad yelled 'ow' and Mom yelled at me to stop. Dad pushed me to the floor again and got on top of me. He was too strong for me. "I'll just hold her all night if I have to," said Dad. I kept screaming trying to fight him off. "I won't get off until you are calmed down," he said. But him being on top of him was just making me angrier. I squirmed and Dad kept a tight grip on my arms and I was sweating and I kept on screaming and crying. I kept spitting at him and moving my legs but they were also trapped under his body. Everyone had already left the room. I screamed as loud as I could and Dad still stayed on me. Then after a while I got tired and my throat was sore from all the screaming. Daddy slowly got off of me and I had my chance to attack him but he grabbed me again right when I reached for him. He was on top of me again and I went back to screaming. Then there was the doorbell. "Someone answer that?" Dad shouted. "That is probably one of the neighbors," he said to me. "You're screaming so loud, they probably heard you and they are making sure you are not in trouble." I kept on crying and Dad said "You're just having a tantrum because I won't let you hurt anyone." I was sweating from all the crying and movement. I think I heard someone at the door and there was some talking. "She is just having a tantrum because my Dad won't let her beat me up so he is holding her down," said Kelly. "Only kind of help we need is no cops being called on us," Dad shouted. He stayed on me for a while and then he got up again slowly. He kept looking at me as he backed away from me. He started to clean the kitchen and called for everyone to come on down to clean. I got off the floor and I felt so tired and my eyes and throat hurt. I went upstairs to my bedroom. I really needed a shower to wash the sweat off me and my own spit. Dad called for me but I ignored him. I just took off my clothes and was naked in my diaper and socks and bra. "Natalie?" Dad called again. I hated everyone, my dad, my sister, Veronica. Why did Kelly have to be so dumb and why did Dad lie? "Natalia, get down here now?" Dad shouted. Then someone came upstairs and it was Mom. "Your father wants you to clean up your dinner mess," she said. "Leave me alone," I shouted and I picked something up and threw it at her. I totally missed her but I didn't care. I wasn't trying to hit her anyway. Mom just closed my door leaving me alone. Then Dad came up not too long later. "What is the matter with you?" he shouted. He immediately looked away when he saw me. "I want to be left alone," I yelled. "You will after you get done with cleaning," he said. "Now get some clothes on and get down here now." Dad closed my door. I got up and huffed and got my clothes back on and went downstairs and picked up my plate and threw it at the sink and the plate broke. "Natalie," said Mom. "What has gotten into you?" I picked up another plate and threw it and Dad grabbed me again screaming at me to stop. "I want to kill myself," I yelled. There, now I was going to get hospitalized like Brian did when he said he was going to do it. "Give me a knife so I can stab myself," I shouted. "Glen, just let her be in her room," said Mom. "Natalie, why are you acting this way?" said Dad. He let go of me and I walked out of the kitchen. I went in my room and I hit myself in the head and threw my pillow off my bed. Seeing one less Nintendo controller made me feel angry at Whimper again and this time I felt I wanted to spank him hard. I had all these bad feelings inside of me and I wanted them to all stop but they wouldn't turn off. I hit myself harder as a way to release it and I pulled hard at my shirt and heard a rip. I let go of it and looked for the rip and couldn't find it. I took out my diary again and wrote more in it. I put ---- under my last entry and wrote more under it. My Dad had promised that he would talk to me when he got home but he had lied to me because he wouldn't talk to me so I had to hold it all in still and seeing Kelly made it even worse because I had to sit at the table with everyone for dinner and there she was and the more I saw her, the angrier I got so I finally started attacking what I should have done to Veronica. Then Mom and Dad pulled me off and Dad sat on me and held me down. I feel like killing myself and I can't stand all these feelings inside of me, they are painful and I hate feeling this way. I had said I wanted to kill myself and I wonder when I will be going to the hospital now. I closed my diary and set it on the night stand right by my lamp and set the pen down next to it. I then headed to the bathroom and took off my clothes and diaper and socks and bra and turned the water on. I also locked the door. We are not supposed to lock it but I didn't care. I was too mad to even care. Then someone tried to get in the bathroom but it was locked and I heard Kelly shouting for Dad. Dad soon came up and knocked on the door telling me "Natalie, open this door right now, you know the rules." I just ignored him in anger. Dad pounded on the bathroom door again. "Natalia, open this door right now you young lady." I kept shaving my legs. Dad pouned some more and then left. I washed my hair and I pooped in the shower and left the mess. I made sure my legs were clean and my buttock and turned the water off. I grabbed a towel and dried off and I grabbed a diaper out of the drawer and put it on. I put my socks and bra back on and went back to my bedroom and put my pajamas on. I imagined Dad coming in here telling me I am going to the hospital and when. Soon Mom came home and I heard Dad talking. Kelly also started shouting my name. I ignored her. "Mom, Dad, Natalie left her mess in the shower again," Kelly tattled. Dad came up and he looked in the bathroom. I know he did because I heard him say "Oh good god." Then he came to my door and knocked and said "You have a mess to clean up young lady, do it right now." I ignored it in revenge. I locked my bedroom door. Dad turned the knock and then started knocking, "Natalie Jean Evans, right now!" Dad yelled. "Make me," I shouted. "I don't like your behavior young lady so drop it right now," Dad ordered. I ignored him. I sat down on my bed and started to read a book. Dad left me alone and then I heard him unlocking my door so I got up and picked up a chair and put it by the door had the top of it under the door knob. Dad got it unlocked and opened it and the door jammed from the chair. "Enough of these games," said Dad. I just hid in my closet. Then Dad left again and I stayed put. I cried silently. i ignored everything that was going on and stayed hidden. Then soon Mom was at my door and she sounded calm. "Natalie, can I come in, I would like to talk." I got out of my closet and took the chair away from the door and let her in. Mom came in and closed the door. "Do you want to talk about what has been going on after you came home from Veronica's? That is when you have been acting different because you were upset." "No shit Sherlock," I said. Mom ignored my cuss word. "It's about Veronica isn't it?" Mom asked. "And my sister," I said. "She doesn't even care about me and if I have to keep seeing her, I will beat her up every time," I yelled. "You don't want to do that." "Yes I do, I hate her, she is a dumb blonde. I don't want to ever see her again." "You two unfortunately share the same house so you can't avoid her all the time," said Mom. "So let her live somewhere else like she always wants," I said. "Or I can live somewhere else." "But then we'll miss you. Are you feeling any better?" "No," I said to her stupid question. "What do you think would make you feel better? We can't get rid of Kelly unfortunately in case that is what you are thinking." "Dad keeping his promise to talk to me and Kelly believing me and saying her sorry," I said. "And that will make you stop being mad and doing what you have been doing?" "Yes," I said. "Okay then, I will go tell them right now." Mom got up and left my room. I sat here feeling a little better. Then Whimper ran in my room and he had on a baby diaper. I grabbed him and threw him out of my room and shut the door. He had hit the wall with a thump but I didn't care. Dad then came in my room sighing. "Okay Natalie, your mother told me you needed to talk to me so here I am even though I am tired and want to go to bed. Now what is the problem?" "I told you about it on the phone and you said you couldn't talk because you were at work so I had to wait until you are home, you're home now so we can talk." "Oh my god," said Dad. "All this is unacceptable you were doing since I got home. I didn't lie to you." "But you said we could talk when you got home," I said. "You need to start thinking about other people, you are not the only one in this house and acting this way isn't going to get it. Now I feel if I talk to you now, I am rewarding for your bad behavior and you will keep on doing it." "But you said we could talk, if you can't do it, then why even say it?" I cried. "You don't even think bout others like you didn't even think I might be tired and just wanted to eat and now it's late and you still want to talk about this when you know I am tired." "But you said we we can talk when you get home," I said again. "If you can't do that, then why did you say it?" "I didn't know how tired I was going to be and that you would want to talk to me right away." "Fine, then I won't talk to you ever again, you're useless and you never keep your word, how am I going to know it's not another lie?" I said. "Natalia. Enough of the attitude." "I had enough of everyone's lies," I screamed. "We will talk tomorrow when I am not tired." "How do I know it won't be another lie again?" I shouted. "You might have another excuse." "God damn it Natalie!" said Dad. "Stop thinking about yourself only. When are you going to start thinking about others?" I started crying again. Just when I was feeling better, Dad had to make it worse again. "We'll talk tomorrow," said Dad. He left my bedroom closing my door. I cried some more. I hated myself and I was meant to be a bad person if everyone thinks I only think of myself. I don't understand why people keep thinking I am selfish and only think of myself. So people can lie to me and that makes me only care about myself? But aren't they the ones being selfish if they are only thinking about themselves? They are doing it by lying to me. I could hear my parents talking and Mom was talking to Dad. "Do you know what Natalie told me what she called her?.....She came home very upset and called you and you told her she had to wait so she waited all evening patiently waiting for you and then you come home and drop that you can't talk to her, can you imagine how she must have felt and how much of time of energy she probably used waiting patiently for you. She probably used it all up so she acted out," she yelled. I heard Dad talking too and Mom saying, "Yes all this is from what happened at Veronica's and then Whimper chewed up one of her gaming controllers and I rememeber she was supposed to be at Jason's and she was sick so she didn't go there so all this is what caused it and you call her selfish? Good god Glen." Dad screamed back and they were fighting again all because of me. "Hey, get that damn puppy out of here!" Dad shouted. I grabbed my diary again and started writing in it again. I wrote about this evening. I cried more as I wrote. My parents were done fighting because I didn't hear anymore shouting. I set the diary down when I was finished and went to the den. I played GoldenEye and pretended all the bad guys were Veronica, Kelly, and Dad. I shot them all and it was better to let my anger out in the game than in real life.
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Post by Bad Beth on Dec 21, 2015 23:18:44 GMT
Chapter 11
I woke up the next morning feeling normal again. I still remembered what happened yesterday. I noticed one less Super Nintendo controller and I was reminded again what Whimper did. I laid here and then got out of bed, I changed and got dressed. I threw my diaper away in the garage and Mom was already up. She had Whimper with her on the couch as she was drinking some coffee and she was watching TV while rubbing him. "How are you feeling?" "I don't know," I said. "Are you still upset about yesterday?" "No," I said. "Good so that means you are feeling better." "I am still mad that he chewed up my controller," I said. "He didn't do it to upset you, he didn't know it would," said Mom. "Dogs don't know these things. I am sure he is sorry." Whimper jumped off the couch and walked to me and he sat down and looked down at the floor and whimpered. "See?" said Mom. "He is sorry." "But how? He can't even understand a word we say." "He understands our tone." I picked him up and rubbed him and hugged him. I think he had learned a lesson and wouldn't chew anything up again in my room now that he knows it upsets me. "You should put him outside now so he can pee," said Mom. "He has a diaper on," I said. "Yes but we still need to train him to go out so take the diaper off and put him outside." I took it off him and put him outside and closed the door. I watched him run down the steps Then Dad came home with Skippy. "Good Natalie, you're up," he said. "I need you to go upstairs to the kids bathroom." "Why?" I asked. "Just do it and I will tell you." "Do what he says," Mom told me. I went upstairs to the bathroom and it smelled like poop. Someone must have used the toilet. Dad and Mom came upstairs and Dad had a hand towel with him. "Natalie, you are going to clean up the mess you made in the tub last night." "What mess?" I asked. "Look in the tub." I looked in the tub and someone had left poop in there. "Ew," I said. "Yes, you are going to clean it up," said Mom. "Why?" "You made it Natalie so you are going to clean it up now," said Dad. "I didn't do it," I said. "Yes you did, don't you remember what happened last night? Remember when I came home?" "You wouldn't talk to me like you promised," I said. "And what happened next?" "I got mad at Kelly when I had to keep seeing her there." "And?" "You held me down," I said. "Do you remember anything you did last night, do you remember what you did to me?" "I tried pushing you off but you held me down," I said. "You spat at me and kicked me, you locked Kelly out of the bathroom." "You threw your diary at me," said Mom. "You did this," Dad pointed at the poop. "Remember you took a shower last night?" "Yes but I don't remember doing that," I said. "Natalie, just because you don't remember doesn't mean it never happened. Sometimes we all do crazy things when we are very upset and then we have no memory about it but we are all still responsible. Your responsibility is to clean up this mess. Here is the towel and you wipe it up and dump it in the toilet and flush it when you are done and don't forget to wipe the poop off the tub." I took the towel from him and started to wipe up the poop. It smeared all over and Dad told me I will wipe it all up after I get all the poop out. I scooped up the poop and picked it up and brought it to the toilet. I dumped it in there and went back to the tub. "Keep doing it," said Mom. They left and I cleaned up the mess. Then I got the towel wet and wiped the tub and rinsed it out and I made sure all the poop was gone. I flushed the toilet and put the towel in the laundry and washed my hands. I left the bathroom and went back downstairs. "Anita, look at what he is doing," said Dad. "What?" Mom asked. "Look outside, the backyard." Mom looked. "Oh shit." She grabbed her shoes and ran outside. I looked out there and I saw Whimper digging up some flowers. Mom walked over to him and she didn't even run or yell at him, she just walked. Then he stopped and she picked him up as he started to run away and she took him back inside. She put him in Skippy's Kennel. He started to Whimper. "I want you to go fix those flowers," Dad ordered Mom. "Pick them up, throw them out if they are ripped from the ground." Mom went back outside and she fixed the flowers. She planted them back and threw some away that were ripped. She put them where we pour the grass after we mow the lawn. Mom came back inside and washed her hands. "Yay the tub has been cleaned, now I can take a shower," said Kelly who came downstairs. "Natalie, do you have anything to tell your sister?" Dad asked. "No," I said. "Not even an apology?" "Why?" I asked. "For last night Natalie. Remember what you did to her?" "Yes because she was a dumb blonde and I can't stand looking at her," I said. "Natalie." "What is up with you?" Kelly asked. Was Kelly so dumb she didn't even know why I was so mad at her? Her hair color was sure matching it. "Veronica," I hinted. "You're still upset about that? Oh puh lease," said Kelly. I started to grab her again but Dad started shouting and pushing me back. "Hey hey hey, stop. Natalie." "I hate her and wish she lived somewhere else," I shouted. "I can't stand seeing her or I will quack if I have to keep seeing her," I screamed. Then I started crying. I ran out of the kitchen. "Natalie," Dad called. I ignored him and I ran upstairs and slammed my bedroom door. I hid in my closet again and stayed here. The anger was back and my feelings about wanting to beat Kelly up. I couldn't stand them so I released it on myself. "Meow," I heard Princess say outside my closet. She poked her paws inside and I opened the closet door and I let her come in. She started to purr as she brushed her body up against me. I let her do it. She kept purring and purring and rubbing herself on me and putting her paws on my knees and pushing them against them. I was holding her by the time someone came in my room and then Dad calling my name. I ignored him. What did he want me for? "Natalie? Does anyone know where she is?" Dad called. "I'll look in Kelly's room. She's not in here either, I'll look in our room. Natalie?" Then I heard him calling outside. Then I heard doors slamming and Mom told him to calm down and they know I am in the house because they would have heard me leave if I left. "I hate it when she does this," said Dad. I heard them come upstairs and Dad was talking about me. "Just look in every space where she could fit," Mom told him. "So she is playing hide n' go seek now is what you're saying?" said Dad. "Natalie, get out here right now and stop playing," Dad yelled. Oh no I was going to be found now if they look for me. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't live with these feelings until I am an adult and move out just because of Kelly. I would be better off in the hospital and when were they going to send me? Princess then left my arms and looked at the closet door. Then she started to meow at me and poking her claws in my pants and she started to get real annoying. She does that when she wants out so I was forced to get out of my spot to let her out and then I sat back in my spot again. I heard her hissing out in my room. I wondered who she was hissing at? There was no danger in my room. Princess hissed again and growling. Then she stopped. Mom and Dad were looking for me and I could hear them walking around. I climbed out of the closet and I caught Whimper again in my room and he didn't have a diaper on. So that was why my cat hissed and growled. I also noticed a wet spot right next to my bed. "No," I cried. I grabbed Whimper as he started to run away and I was so mad he peed in my room I squeezed him and he started to whimper loudly. Mom rushed in my room. "You stupid dog," I said to him. I took him over to the spot and tried to rub his face in it but Mom stopped me. "Natalie stop, stop!" "He peed in my room," I shouted. "Give me the animal," she ordered. I handed him to her. "I will clean it up so you just chill will you." Mom left my room and Dad came in. He saw the wet spot, "Oh geez. Anita, keep that dog locked up will you and where is his nappy?" "I will put it on him again," Mom called. "Natalie, let's talk now about yesterday," said Dad. "I know I couldn't talk about it last night but now I can." "Forget it," I said. "Natalie, I just talked to Kelly about it and now I want to talk to you," Dad said again. "Kelly told me you started to give Veronica problems when you were there so she had to send you home." "She called me retarded," I said. "Kelly?" Dad asked. "No, Veronica," I said. "Okay tell me how it all happened." "I was babysitting Ellie and James with Kelly and Veronica was home in her bed. She rings the bell and Kelly tells me to go up there to see what she wanted. Right away Veronica started being mean to me, she called me retarded when I did nothing wrong." Mom then came in my room with a towel and carpet cleaner and she started to clean up the mess. "Okay, what did you do about it?" Dad asked. "I already told you this story," I said. "But I want to hear it again," said Dad. "I grabbed her food and threw it," I said. "Okay, and then Kelly sent you home after that?" Dad asked. "Yes," I said. "Okay so it looks like to me that you shouldn't be around Veronica but it still was uncalled for what you did, two wrongs don't make it a right. You were both very wrong with your behavior so Kelly was correct to send you home because she wanted to defuse the situation." I got mad all over again because Dad was siding against me. "But she called me retarded, why is it okay for everyone to be mean to me?" I cried. "It was wrong for her to call you that," said Dad. "What I am saying is you shouldn't have stooped down to her level and that is what you did so that didn't make you any better than her. Kelly also said you tried grabbing her." "I did because she called me retarded and was being mean to me," I said. "That was also wrong, there will be mean people in the world and you might run into a stranger who might say something nasty but it wouldn't give you the right to hit them, that would be called assault, and you can go to jail for that and have a criminal record and it can keep you from getting a job." "That's stupid," I said. "It's the law," said Dad. "If we didn't have that law, then everyone would be fighting and assaulting each other and can you imagine if someone hit you or grabbed something from you and threw it in the middle of the road for it to be ran over?" "I wouldn't be mean to people," I said. "But there are people out there who are just jerks they will grab anything and you could be walking by and they grab your Game Boy and throw it because they are so mad and you did nothing wrong, there are crazy people out there so we have laws to protect everyone so that means you cannot assault people and take things from them and throw them when they upset you, it doesn't matter if they call you a butthead or say you shouldn't be born or if they start yelling profanity at you for no reason. You never have the right to hit them or take anything from them and throw it. That will get you into trouble with the law." "Well I can stop doing it when I am an adult," I said. "Kids your age can also go to jail for assault, what if Veronica had decided to press charges? You're very lucky she didn't." "Mom doesn't go to jail for assault," I said. "I don't press charges on her either and she is also wrong for what she does," said Dad. "You both throw things," I said. "And we're both wrong for it and one of us could call the police if we wanted to to press charges but we don't so that is why we get away with it. I could have had Kelly or Matthew or Mom call the police for me to press charges on you for assault but if you do that out in the real world, they could call the police and you wouldn't want a criminal record or be locked up in juvie hall. You do not want a criminal record, that would haunt you for the rest of your life. Can you imagine having a criminal record from when you were fifteen and you were a changed person in your adulthood and can you imagine having that history haunting you? It would be like you can't move on from it and can't let it go." Mom got finished with the mess. She had left the soap on the rug for it to soak in so she can scrub it and vacuum it. Dad and I talked some more and I felt happier. Dad kept his promise after all. Then he brought Kelly in my room. "Natalie, I want you to see this," said Dad. He pointed to the cuts on her neck and she had one on her right cheek. "This is what you did last night," Dad told me. "Oh," I said. "Oh is right, you pinched her last night and dug your nails into her skin. Now what do you have to say for that?" "I didn't mean to do it," I said. "Do you remember doing it?" "No," I said. "You're a pretty tough girl like your mother, now what do you think you should do about it?" Dad expected me to answer because he was looking at me and he wasn't saying anything else. "You know the word, it starts with an S," said Dad. Oh he wanted me to say sorry. "Sorry," I said. "I'm sorry Natalie for what happened yesterday. I didn't mean to get you upset and make you feel I was siding against you," said Kelly. "Sorry I attacked you," I said. "That was a very good apology Natalie," said Dad. "Now you two hug." Kelly and I hugged each other. I felt so much better and I didn't hate her anymore or feel like pounding her. I wouldn't have to avoid her anymore or live with these bad feelings I can't stand. Kelly left my bedroom. "Anita, when are you going to vacuum up the spot?" Dad called after he left my bedroom. "What?" Mom asked. "The cleaner you left on the rug upstairs? Did you forget you were cleaning up the dog pee?" "Oh, yeah I was cleaning it up and I am waiting for it to soak into it so I can vacuum over it." "It's ready now to be vacuumed," said Dad. I played my Super Nintendo while Mom brought in the vacuum and she plugged it in and vacuumed. "There you go honey, all clean now," said Mom. I paused the game and looked and I could still see it because it was darker but at least it was cleaned. Mom unplugged the cord and stepped on the switch on the vacuum and the cord went inside. Mom then carried it out. I closed my door and kept on playing. One controller I had now, now there would be no more two players all because of that stupid dog. Then I paused the game and I remembered to close my bedroom door. I went downstairs for breakfast. I hadn't eaten yet so I was starving. Christmas music was playing again. Even though we are all atheists except for Kelly, we still play religious Christmas music and we still celebrate Christmas and Easter. We don't view them as religion. Easter is about getting candy in baskets and doing Easter egg hunts and dying eggs and Christmas is about buying presents and getting new stuff. Dad was cooking breakfast. He was making scrambled eggs. "Natalie if you want breakfast I am cooking some eggs for everyone," said Dad. "I want some," I said. "There is also toast," said Dad. He already had out a plate and he scooped out some eggs and put them on the toast and put another one over it making it a sandwich. I thought it was for me but instead he started eating it. He turned off the stove and left the fan running. Some more toast popped out of the toaster. I grabbed a clean plate and put the toast on my plate and scooped some eggs onto my toast and made it a sandwich. Skippy was eating his food on the floor in his doggy bowl. Next to it sat the cat dishes with cat food in it. Mittens was sitting down and eating. Whimper was in Skippy's cage whimpering. Mom gave him food in there. It was adult dog food. He started to eat it. I finished my food and went back upstairs playing video games. A doorbell rang and I figured it was probably someone stopping by to looking Mom's artwork. Dad came in my room and told me to not forget about my list of duties in the household to help Mom out. "Okay," I said. "Don't forget, I will remind you in ten minutes if you are not doing them." I kept playing and I had forgotten about my chores until Dad came in my room again. "Natalie, chores." "Okay," I said again. I kept playing. I then got tired of playing and turned the game off and put in a different one. I was playing it when Dad came in my room again. "Natalie, your chores." "I know," I said. "Now," said Dad. I paused my game and left my room closing my door behind me. I went in the kitchen and looked at my chore list. I had to clean the bathrooms, wash the clothes, check the fridge to be sure it didn't need to be cleaned, sweep the floors and wash them, check the windows for cleaning and clean them if needed. "Matthew," Dad called in the den, "I need you to do your chores now." "Kelly?" Dad called. Christmas music was still playing and Mom was working in the living room. I did the laundry and dumped the clothes on the couch in the living room for Matthew to fold Kelly complained about having to do chores now instead of when she felt like it. "Kelly, the sooner you do them, the sooner you wouldn't have to worry about them," said Dad. "I would have to do them again anyway," said Kelly. I looked in the fridge and I didn't feel like cleaning it. It would take too long. I cleaned the bathrooms instead. Then the phone rang while I was cleaning. I washed inside the toilet bowl where people pee and poo into. If I had my own house, I wouldn't even need a toilet and it wouldn't ever have to be cleaned except for dusting unless I had other people living there so I would still need a toilet for them. But I do use one for when I change sometimes when I am poopy or when I air out. Airing out is a pain but what I do about it is read a book when I sit on it and one time my Dad carried the TV to the bathroom and plugged it in and he used the huge cable extension cord so I could still watch my TV shows and my Mom carried in the Super Nintendo so I could play it. So there I was doing everything on the toilet. So I would still need a toilet even if I was living by myself. "Natalie," Mom called. "Do you still want to go over to Jason's?" "Yeah," I shouted. I jumped up and down. "She said yes," said Mom into the phone. I kept on cleaning but I wondered when I was going there. I finished with the sink and toilet and I also washed the mirror and I had to go upstairs and clean the kid's bathroom. I cleaned the mirrors with Windex and washed the sinks with Comet. Then I wiped the counter tops and I poured some Comet in the toilet and used the toilet brush and scrubbed it and flushed it and I wiped the outside of the toilet. Then I was done and I put the cleaning products away. Then I had to sweep in the bathrooms to wash the floors in there. Dad took the cleaning products so he could clean the master bathroom. "You know Dad, we might save money on cleaning stuff if we don't have to clean the bathrooms all the time," I said. "Then they will get dirty," said Dad. "We can wait until they get dirty and then clean them," I said. "No," said Dad. Then the doorbell rang again. It was more customers when I answered. It was a man and wife and their three kids who were younger than me and Kelly and Matthew. "Are they customers?" Mom asked from the living room. "Yes," I said. "Take off your shoes," I told them. They all took their shoes off and they went into the living room and looked around. One of the kids started to play the piano but the father stopped her. The adults looked at the art work Mom had laying against the walls and furtniture. Mom still had the refreshments out on the piano chair. The kids started to eat the cookies. I went back to my cleaning.
I found out later Mom had made some more money from that family but the kids had ate more cookies than they should have because the parents were not paying attention and I was so glad to be escaping the chore list because I was going to Jason's so I was getting changed into a clean diaper. I also packed my Nintendo 64 games and my Game Boy. I was going to be picked up just so my mom could save on gas. I made sure I had diapers and wipes and rash cream. Dad made me keep cleaning until Jason and his Mom arrived. I was sweeping the floors when the doorbell rang. I dropped the broom and ran to the door and it was Jason when I answered it. I was so excited I was jumping up and down. Dad reminded me to put the broom away and pick up the dirt. "Be right back," I said. I got the dust pan and picked up the dirt and threw it away and put the broom and dustpan away and I grabbed my backpack and shoes and coat. I put them on outside on the porch and put my coat on and Dad told me to have fun. I left with Jen and Jason. "We're going Christmas shopping," said Jason. "I thought I was going to your house?" I asked. "Apartment," Jason corrected. "Today we were going to go Christmas shopping but you got sick," said Jen. "Don't you want to come with us?" Jason asked. I felt disappointed because I was looking forward to playing video games. "If you don't want to come along, we can drop you back off right now so say something now," said Jen. "I want to come," I said. "Good, don't change your mind on us." "We're going to be avoiding sales tax," said Jason. I knew what that meant. Jen got on the freeway and she drove all the way to downtown Portland. She found a parking garage and found a spot and we got out. "We are breaking the law again Mom," said Jason. "How?" I asked. "It's illegal to shop down here to avoid sales tax," said Jen. "But they have stores down here they don't have up in Vancouver." We walked to the elevator and waited for it. What a dumb law they had, they don't let Washingtonians shop here. What were they going to do, arrest every person down here who lives in Washington? What if they were on vacation? "We're going to be criminals," said Jason. We went down the elevator and Jason kept mentioning how we are being criminals. He didn't sound upset about it. I followed them and then we were at Saturday Market again. At least Mom wasn't here. Maybe this time I will get to look at everything this time. My tummy rumbled from the hunger. I forgot to eat lunch. Jason was touching everything and flapping his arms. I looked at all the booths as I walked by them. Jen looked at some stuff. "Jason, come help me figure out what we should get Grandma and Grandpa," she said. Jason kept humming and touching everything. I was bored whenever Jen looked because she took too long and I was done looking at this stuff. I could play my Game Boy but it's so hard to see here and it was too crowded. I was also sweating from my coat and backpack. We looked at some other booths and Jen bought some homemade soap for her mom and a hand made pipe for her dad. I wondered if Jen was also a gift disaster. "Jason, how good is your Mom at giving gifts?" I asked. He didn't answer me so I asked him louder and Jen told me he couldn't hear me with all the talking here. So I asked him the question very loudly. "Jason, is your mom good at giving everyone gifts?!" I shouted it out loud like I was calling him from across the field and I was trying to make my voice very loud so I could be talking over everyone and Jason would be able to hear me. People around us looked at me. "Natalie, shhh," said Jen. "That is very rude behavior." "I wanted him to hear me," I said. Jason was covering his ears when I shouted. "But it's very rude and everyone looked, you can ask him that later when there aren't so many people," said Jen. I decided I would ask her instead. "How good are you at giving gifts to people?" I asked. "I don't know, maybe average. Why?" "My mom sucks at it, she always gets us stuff we don't like or need so my Dad always does it," I said. I will never forget when my Mom got me a CD she liked I didn't even like because I didn't listen to Eric Clapton. Kelly got a toy that was for younger kids she outgrew and Matthew got a tooth brush that was made for little kids. But all our gifts got exchanged and we got something better. But that has always been normal for our birthdays and Christmases. We would always do it right after. But some things she would get us she would keep for herself because not everything could always be returned but at least we still had presents we liked. It would be something if Mom did get me a video game this year but it was a game I wouldn't like. That is the thing about her, she knows what we like but she gets us the wrong things for it. How hard is it to just ask someone what they want for Christmas and just get them that? That would solve Mom's gift disasters. I like calling her The Gift Disaster. That is our nickname for her. We looked at half of the booths and then we walked out of the area. We were in the food area now and Jen asked us if we were hungry. Jen shouted the question at Jason and he shouted the answer yes. I said I was starving. "I want a elephant ear," said Jason. "Me too," I said. Jen took us there and we waited in line. Then our turn came and Jen bought us each elephant ears and she had one too. I had cinnamon on mine. Then we went inside the old building and looked in the shops there. "Mom, I want to see the giant Christmas tree," said Jason. Jen bought another thing and we waited under the bridge. "What's at those other places?" I pointed at the booths that were on our side. "Just more stuff but I looked enough," Jen said. "It's just the same stuff." "I want to see it," I said. "Jason wants to see the giant Christmas tree," said Jen. "Can't we just look and then go see it?" I asked. "I want to see it," said Jason. "We can always come back," said Jen. "This place won't close because they stay open until end of today because it's Christmas season." The train came and we got on after some people got off. I found an empty seat and sat down. I set my backpack on my lap. Jason and Jen stood. Jason complained about not being any empty seats so Jen told him to grab onto the rail so he won't fall. The train started moving and I looked out the window. I really liked the old buildings. I also liked all the Christmas stuff they had up. All the trees had lights on them around the trunks and branches and some buildings had up Christmas decorations. The light posts even had wreaths on them with lights. When we got to the Free Willy square, we got off. That is what I call it because that is where they filmed the movie when Jesse was asking for money from strangers. I saw the huge Christmas tree. It had lights and big ornaments. We walked into the square and Jen then took out her camera and told us to stand in front of the tree while she takes the picture. "No flashing," said Jason. "I won't," said Jen. Jason and I stayed at the tree while Jen backed up and held the camera to her face and she kept backing up and then she put the camera in front of her face. "Okay, I'm ready, smile." I smiled and then she took the camera away from her face. "Have you ever seen this tree before Natalie?" Jen asked. "Once," I said. I had my chance to see it back in 6th grade but I had gotten sick and couldn't go on the field trip. I had forgotten about it anyway until my class got into a group and put it all together and I was so upset I missed the field trip and my Dad made up for it by taking me down to Portland and I tried to see all the locations I had missed. Dad told me I wouldn't have liked the trip anyway because of my incontinence and it would be hard getting to the bathroom and what if I had messed myself and I would have been separated from the group to change. Plus other kids said it was raining so they had to walk in it. That is what we get for living in the Pacific Northwest close to the coast. We also don't get much snow and when we do, it only stays for a few days and then it melts. But we do get snow in the mountains. Luckily it wasn't raining today but it was cloudy. We left the square and walked two blocks and went into a building. I saw it was the mall. I had been in here before. We looked around and they also had up a bunch of Christmas stuff. Lights hung from the ceiling in the middle of the mall. It was all shaped like a square and there was a big skylight covering the entire mall. Christmas music was playing. I asked Jen again if people ever like her presents she gets them and If Jason ever likes hers. "I don't know," she said. "But I know Jason likes them." "Haven't other people told you they hated your gifts?" "People are not going to tell you how much they dislike your gift unless they are just mean people," said Jen. I was shocked, telling people you don't like your present was mean? I was so guilty of that. I have always complained about my presents not being good enough and Dad always gets mad at me for it. That is because you are supposed to like your gifts but what if someone gave me a terrible gift like what if someone got me a baby's toy or pair of boxers? At least Mom isn't that terrible at giving gifts. "Why is it mean to dislike your present?" I asked. "Because you are supposed to be great full someone got you a present, it doesn't matter if you like it or not, the rule is you like it and it's the thought that counts so you are great full they thought of you and did something nice and spent some money on you." "So I am supposed to like my mom's presents she gets me I didn't even want for my birthday or Christmas?" "Natalie, Christmas isn't about getting what you want, it's about giving. You get people presents you like you want them to enjoy and if anyone didn't like my present, I wouldn't get them anything again, maybe only a check this time so they can spend it on anything they like." The thought of her giving someone a check for not liking her present reminded me of my mom giving Kelly a gift card for her birthday and Dad writing her a check. I have always hated getting a check because I always wanted a toy. Now I want games but who is going to buy video games for other peoples kids? I thought of all those years when Mom would get us lousy gifts, one time Matthew got a toy that was too young for him and Kelly last year got a Barbie doll for Christmas and she said she was too old for them now but Mom was seeing her as a little girl still. I didn't mind her gifts so much when I was little because I was a little kid then so anything she got me I liked because they were all toys or clothes but as we got older, she started to suck at it. I wonder what this year Mom was going to be giving us, I imagined just checks and gift cards which would probably explain why she didn't do any Christmas shopping. I imagined waking up on Monday and finding no presents under the tree, only envelopes instead and we all open them and they are cash or checks or a gift card. I guess that is what we all get for not liking our presents. "But Jen, people always return their gifts," I said. "That is because people sometimes buy things and then decide they don't want them or the present was defective so they are exchanging it and some people do take back gifts they don't like but they are not going to tell you they didn't like your present." "So they lie," I said. "Basically," said Jen. "I hate being lied to," I said. "Sadly, we lie all the time." "Not me," I said. "Jason is a very honest person too but sometimes he says things that are rude but he thinks he is just being honest. Then he thinks that we don't mean it when we say we want people to be honest." "How is being rude honest?" I ask. "At least you get it, Jason doesn't." "But why does he think being rude is being honest?" "Because what he is saying is truthful in his mind but he doesn't understand that it's rude to say it and you should keep it to yourself." "I haven't seen him rude yet," I said. "Remember in the car when you first went to our apartment?" Jen asked. "He couldn't understand why it's rude to say someone was boring to see." I guess I didn't mind his rudeness. I could remember them both fighting but I couldn't remember what it was about. "But how is being rude being honest?" I asked again. "Because he isn't lying when he is saying it." I still didn't understand how it was honesty. I could tell Jen she has on a red coat and how would that be honest?
I looked in the toy store and gaming store. I also looked in the candy shop on the basement level. They also had a bookstore across from it. I looked in there next. Jason looked around too. Then Jen decided she would ditch us just to do her own shopping and she gave us a meeting time and told us where to meet her. I was so happy to be free and not have to be bored waiting on her. Jason was glad too because he was also bored like I was so he was being a pest to her and he wouldn't quit touching touch and Jen kept telling him to stop. I looked at the books and Jason looked at some that were his obsession. I would look at James bond but they didn't have any books here about it. All they would have are the novels I would bet. I looked in the travel section and looked at books of England, my Dad's home country. He grew up there and moved to the USA when he was seventeen when his Dad got a temporary job here. I looked at the children's books instead and I realized I needed to change because I felt a damp spot on my pants. I told Jason I was going to the bathroom and asked him if he knew where the restrooms were. He shrugged. I asked the cashier instead and she told me they were at the end of the food court and she pointed. "Thank you," I said. I left the store and walked towards the directed she pointed. I looked for the signs for the restrooms and I saw them. I went in the womens and I found an empty stall. I went in and closed it and got changed. After I was done, I hid the diaper under my coat and threw it away in the trash and washed my hands. I headed back to the bookstore.
When it got close to the time to meet Jen, Jason and I left the store. We held hands. "Hey let's see Santa," said Jason. There was Santa right by the fountain that was in the middle of the mall under the big skylight. "But we have to meet your mother," I said. "The line is short," Jason pointed."Besides my mom won't leave here without us so we'll be fine." We got in line and waited. I took out my Game Boy and started playing. Jason took his out too. I played my game and then someone said behind us "Excuse me, the line moved." I looked up and saw people in front of us were up ahead so I moved forward. "Jason," I called. He ignored me and kept playing his game. "Jason?" I said louder. A man behind him tapped him on the shoulder and he jumped nearly dropping his Game Boy. "Line," I said. He saw where I was and said "Oh." He moved forward and so did the people behind him. I saw a little boy being put on Santa's lap and he started to cry. The people taking the pictures started to make faces and holding stuff up at him. The boy kept on crying and crying. It reminded me of The Christmas Story but at least the elves were not impatient and grumpy nor Santa. I hated those people. I couldn't understand why Santa was so aggressive and the elves. It was a wonder why kids were screaming. But I couldn't understand why this little boy was crying. Santa wasn't shouting "ho ho ho" and none of the elves were yelling. They were all nice. "Why is that baby crying?" I asked Jason. "'Cause he's stupid." "No he's not, why is he crying?" "I don't know." The little boy kept crying and then he was taken off Santa's lap and the mother was holding him. Then he was placed back in his stroller. Then the people in front of us were up and their kids got on Santa's lap. I watched them smile and the camera flashed and I saw the parents paying and they left with the photo. Then it was our turn. "Jason, it's our turn now," I said. We walked up and one of the elves asked, "Just the two of you?" "Yes," I said. "Okay, cash?" Jason stayed silent and I asked, "What?" "Will you be buying any pictures or just sitting on Santa's lap?" "We don't have money," I said. "Okay, on his lap then." "Come on Jason," I said. We walked over to him and sat on him. I knew he wasn't a real Santa. "How's your evening going?" Santa asked. "My girlfriend had been sick and mom and I were going to go Christmas shopping so we came down here and we went to Saturday Market but it had too many people...." Jason was telling him about our evening. Jason went on about our day telling him everything he did. "You guys done, we have people waiting?" one of the elves asked. Santa was laughing, "Okay, I have more kids to see." Jason kept on talking. "Then my girlfriend asked me where the restrooms were and I told her no so she asked the lady working in Waldenbooks and then my girlfriend left to go pee. I waited for her while I looked at books and then she came back and in the store was this man who sneezed very loud..." I sat here waiting for Jason to get done with his answering his question. The people waiting in line just waited on us. "How much longer is this going to be?" the man in line asked. "We have people waiting," the elves told us. "I know," I said. "We really should wrap this up, I have children waiting," Santa interrupted. But Jason kept on talking still. "Son," said Santa. Santa nudged him and Jason said "I'm not done yet." "We have people waiting but I see you have been a very good boy." "I am not a boy, I am a teenager growing into a young man." "You have been a good teenager, I have people waiting. "But I'm not done yet, now where was I?" "Jason, we have to find your mom," I said. "But I am not finished." "I'm bored, I will just meet you there," I said getting up. I got off Santa's lap and grabbed my backpack and left. "We have people waiting," the elves said politely to Jason. Jason was starting to flap his hands and jerk his body as he said "I'm not done yet, he wants to know my evening." I could sense trouble coming so I went to find Jen at the fountain. She was sitting down in a chair at a table. "You're here. Finally. Where's Jason and you're twelve minutes late." "Seeing Santa," I said. "Let's go to him." Jen got out of her chair and we walked over and Jason was leaving the Santa spot and I could see he was upset. "Jason, what's the matter, what happened?" Jen asked. "They're rude, he asked me about my evening and then he wouldn't let me finish and them," he cried. "Did you tell him about everything we did?" Jen asked. "Yes." "Oh Jason, he didn't mean he wanted to know your evening, he was just asking how you are feeling and you were supposed to tell him if it's been a good day or a bad day . He didn't want to know about your whole day." "Then why didn't he ask if it's been a happy day or a good day or a sad day or a bad day?" "Because that is what it meant," Jen explained. "I wish everyone would ask what they mean," Jason cried. "You just have to learn word algebra, it's all memorization," said Jen. "Why can't everyone say what they mean?" "I don't know but you have to learn what words mean and phrases." Jen had a couple more shopping bags with her. We started walking and Jason started to look in one of the bags but Jen stopped in. She pulled the bag away saying "Don't look in here, it has your present in here." "Aw shucks." We left the mall and we waited for the train again. It started to hail so we stood under the cover. I watched it come down and then it stopped before the train came. By the time we got back to Saturday Market, all the hail had melted. "Do you still wanted to see everything else here?" Jen asked. "Yes," I said. "Mom," said Jason. "She wants to see the rest and then we'll go." Jason whined and moaned and then Jen said, "You know what, why don't you wait right here and we'll meet you when she's done. Or you can head back to the car and we'll catch up to you." Jen took her car keys out of her purse and handed them to him. Jason took them and walked away. Jen and I looked at the rest of the booths. We talked and I zoomed by every booth. I was starting to get hungry again but I ignored it. I figured Jen would feed us again when we leave. "How old were you when you got your first boyfriend?" I asked. "Late," she said. "I wasn't fifteen." "How late?" "Twenties." "Where in your twenties?" "Oh you're so tenacious. I was twenty-two." "Why so late?" "I don't know. I just never found a guy to settle with I guess but I always dated guys but never got settled with a guy. They all wanted sex because I would never hear from them again after I would turn them down an I refused to have it with a guy I just met. My mom always told me to wait until marriage but I broke her rule and got pregnant anyway while I was with Jason's father and then he left me when I told him I was pregnant." "How long had you been with him before he dumped you?" I asked. "About five months. But he was a jerk anyway." "I know." "You know? I never told you about him." "But Jason did." "How much did he tell you about his real father?" "That he abused you and always made you feel bad and you thought he had Asperger's too." "Yeah he had symptoms but he was also emotionally abusive." I pictured him calling her names. "But ironically my ex husband thought I was abusive." "Why?" I asked. "You seem nice." "I don't know. I guess because I wasn't like him so it seemed abusive. He said I didn't care about him or think about him and he said I only thought of myself and I guess I said things he thought were hurtful because I didn't know and he expected me to read his mind but I just wasn't picking up on any signals and he didn't like how I talked and he felt I was selfish and he didn't like my tantrum like behaviors. We just didn't understand each other." "Jason told me you were hitting and throwing things at him so you got arrested and went to a mental hospital," I said. "Did he tell you that?" "Yes." "Yeah I remember that. I am not proud of it and back then I didn't know why I was feeling that way." "I was hitting my sister and throwing things too last night," I said. "All because my ex friend called me retarded and my sister took her side and my dad broke his promise to talk to me." "Oh I know that feeling. It's never fun feeling that way. No one called the cops on you did they?" "No," I said. "That's good." "Why were you hitting and throwing stuff at your husband?" I asked. "You know I don't remember. It was so long ago. I was upset about something and they diagnosed me with Borderline Personality disorder and I thought that is what it was. But it was based on what my husband told them and they thought that is what my problem was." "My mom had that too," I said. "Borderline Personality disorder?" "Yeah." "Does she actually have it or did they thought she did?" "Thought." "But she never had it?" "I don't know." We got done looking around and headed back to her car. I learned Jen had also been hospitalized in her teens and she also kept being brought to the room that was all padded but she was never diagnosed with schizophrenia. I told her I told my family I was going to kill myself and so far they hadn't sent me to a hospital yet like they had for Brian. "Don't be surprised if they watch you more and have all the sharp things hidden away," said Jen. When we got back to her car, Jason was already in it. I sat in the back seat again. Jen put her bags in the back of the car and closed the gate and she got in and turned the car on and she pulled out of the spot and she headed back to the exit. When she got down here, she paid on her way out. As we were leaving downtown, I did a big fart. Jason then covered his nose a few seconds later. "Pee ew Natalie." "Excuse me," I said. Jen opened some windows to air it out. We drove across one of the bridges. Jen put the windows back up after we crossed it. "I still smell it," Jason said a few minutes later. Jen sniffed the air. "I smell nothing." Jason opened his window. "Close it," Jen ordered. "It stinks in here like someone pooped their pants." I hoped I didn't poop mine when I farted. I couldn't tell if I had or not. Jen closed the window and locked the windows. "Then keep your nose shut," said Jen. Jason held his nose. At least he didn't suspect a thing. We were on Interstate 5 and Jason uncovered his nose a few times and then he would cover it again. "Did you poop your pants Natalie?" "I hope not," I said. "I mean no." We crossed the river again and got on the highway. "Natalie, when are you supposed to be home by do you know?" Jen asked. "No," I said. "Well I forgot to bring my cell phone so I will just have to call when we get back to our apartment." "Gee Natalie I hope you do a good job wiping your butt or I won't be your boyfriend anymore," said Jason. "Hey, you do not threaten to break up with someone in relationships," said Jen. "I didn't threaten her, I only told her I hope she does a good job or I wouldn't be her boyfriend," said Jason. "It doesn't matter how you say it, it's still a threat and you don't do that in relationships and marriages. You don't tell someone you hope they do something you want or you won't be their boyfriend anymore or tell them if they don't do this, you won't be anymore or tell them if they don't work on this, you will break up with them or tell them if they do not change, you're gone. You never do that in relationships." "But it's the truth, if people don't wipe their butts, I won't be their boyfriend because it's disgusting." "Yes but it will be perceived as a threat so you don't ever do that and it just looks like you are telling them if they don't do it, you will dump them and that comes off as manipulation." "Normies are so stupid." "Uh Jason, I would think the same thing if my own boyfriend or husband told me that, it's a threat most people use to manipulate their partners to change." "Stupid normies, now you think someone is manipulating you if they say they will not be your boyfriend if you don't stop doing something they find disgusting." "Jason, if Natalie is doing something you don't like or you find gross, you tell her but you do not say you won't be her boyfriend anymore if she doesn't stop." "But then how will she know I will not be her boyfriend anymore if she doesn't stop?" Jason asked. "Well Jason, if you are absolutely wanting to break up with her and wanting to end it, then you tell her but then be prepared for it to be over between you two. But if you don't want to end it, do not tell her that or else it can backfire because what if she does decide to let you break up with her? Then you will be hurt because she had picked her habit over you. Most people don't like to be manipulated or controlled so if you tell them if they don't stop anything you don't like or you won't be their boyfriend anymore, it's not going to work because they will think you are trying to control them and they can break up with you for it because they wouldn't want a controlling partner. You want to break up with her for real?" I felt nervous. Was Jason going to dump me if he thinks I don't wipe my butt good? "If she doesn't keep her butt cleaned." "Oh Jason. I hope you didn't hurt her feelings, she is right here in the back seat of our car." "I know," said Jason. He uncovered his nose and said "It still stinks in here. Natalie, did you wipe your butt when you went to the bathroom back at the mall?" "Yes," I said "Then why do you stink?" "I don't know, I farted." "It smells like you pooped your pants." I didn't know what to say. I was worried he was going to find out. I didn't want him to know I wear diapers and I was scared how he was going to react. I couldn't feel any poop inside my diaper. "Jason, I am sure she just farted," said Jen. "But it would have been gone already if she did." "Oh no, that guy is riding up on my ass," said Jen. She was looking in the rear view mirror and on the side mirror. I turned around and saw a car was close behind us. "Come on guy, you can pass us," she said. But the car stayed close behind us. "Asshole," said Jen. I felt her slowing down a little. "No Mom," said Jason. "Quiet," she said. She drove a little slower and the car got closer to us so Jen slowed down even more. "Mom," Jason whined. The car was even closer behind us so I said "Cool." Jen kept on driving slow and she slowed down even more. The car was madly on her tail and I stated to laugh about it saying how close he is. I started to jump up and down in my seat all excited. "Natalie, Natalie, you're shaking the car, stop bouncing," said Jen. I stopped and then Jen sped up and drove a little fast again and then she slowed down again. I kept on laughing and saying "I wonder when he is going to pass us?" I was shaking my body in excitement since I couldn't bounce it and shaking my hands in the air. "I wanna go home," said Jason. "I don't want to be stuck here if he rear ends us." Jen kept on putting on the gas a little and then slowing down until we got to I-205. The car finally passed us. I thought this was all fun. "Finally," said Jason. "See, your girlfriend liked this," said Jen. "Her mom does this too," said Jason. "Really Natalie?" Jen asked. "Yes," I said. "We have another thing in common." We didn't encounter anymore tailgaters the rest of the way.
When we got back to their apartment, Jen called my parents when we got inside. I headed into their bathroom to check my diaper. I needed to change anyway. I took off my shoes and pants and put them on the counter. I took off my diaper and there was a little bit of poop. So that was what Jason was smelling. I sat on the toilet and wiped my butt and I made sure I got all of it off. I didn't want Jason to smell it. After I got done changing, I rolled my used diaper up and taped it closed and stuck it in my backpack. I washed my hands and left my backpack outside by the door. "Natalie, I called your Mom and they say you can have dinner here and then we'll bring you home," said Jen. "Jason is in his room waiting for you." I went in Jason's room and we played Gauntlet Legends on his Nintendo 64. "Hey the bad smell is gone," said Jason. "Yep, I wiped my butt," I said. "Did you poop when you farted?" "No," I lied. "Did you get skid marks and change your underwear?" Jason asked. "No," I said. "Yes you did, that is the only way it would smell, you changed your underwear in the bathroom and you wiped your butt and put on clean underwear." "Oh," I said. "I get skid marks sometimes so I always change my boxers. I can't stand poop. I also keep some toilet paper up my ass so I won't have any skid marks when I fart. You should try it so none will come out." I heard Jen played Christmas music out in the living room. It was all classical. "What is it with Classical music?" I asked. "Mom just likes it." "But why?" "I don't know, you would have to ask her." It was all organs I was hearing. Then I would hear other instruments like pianos or violins. Soon Jen came in Jason's room telling us she had food ready so come out whenever we wanted to eat. She went back out in the living room. Jason and I both died because there were too many enemies. I wanted to play a different game. Jason took the game out and picked out a game I wasn't interested in. He turned it on and started to play. The title popped up and it said Penny Racers. I just played with his drums. "Hey be careful with those," said Jason. '"I am," I said. I kept tapping on them and on the cymbals. "Will you stop playing them, you're terrible," said Jason. "Why?" "The sound is awful so stop playing will you." Then Jen came in the bedroom. "Oh it's you, I was wondering why my son was playing so terribly," said Jen. "I'm not even playing it," said Jason. "I know that. I just thought it was you so I came in here and saw it was your girlfriend playing them," said Jen. I put the sticks down. I looked at what books he had and what movies he had. I also looked in his closet to see what he had. It was just very few clothes and I saw another chest so I opened it and it was his old toys. They were Legos and Knex. He even had some models built already. He still had some action figures. "Cool, you still have your toys," I said. "Hey don't touch my things," said Jason. "I'm just looking," I said. "Yeah but I don't want you moving anything." "Why?" "I don't like my stuff being touched or moved." "Just like my brother," I said. "Does he get upset too?" "Very," I said. "He will start screaming and crying and yelling at us and it's hard to calm him down." "Mom knows to not touch my things or take anything out of my room." Jason kept on playing his bring game and I looked in his desk drawers and dresser drawers. I saw his other clothes including his boxers and socks and I saw his other Game Boy games and his old Game Boy. "You have an old Game Boy just like my brother," I said. "I had that since I was seven," said Jason. I decided to play it. I played it under the lamp and I tried different games. My tummy was grumbling with food so I turned the game off and went in the kitchen for food. I saw Jen had made beef stroganoff. It was one of my favorites. She also had two clean plates sitting out for us and cups. I took a clean plate and scooped myself some. I also saw she had put mushrooms in the sauce. I scooped the plain noodles first and then the meat and sauce. "Why do you like this kind of music?" I asked Jen. "It's relaxing, do you like it?" "I prefer words. Only wordless songs I can stand are The Jingle Cats and that one Christmas song barked by the dogs which is Jingle Bells." "My son hates those songs," said Jen. "We once saw a commercial and it showed each baby making a sound and it made out a Christmas carol and he said "That was stupid." "Why?" "He just doesn't like those songs with babies making noise or cats meowing or dogs barking or chickens clucking or frogs ribbiting or cows mooing or wolves howling or owls hooting." "Do they really have all those Christmas songs with those sounds?" I asked. "I don't know. I am just saying Jason does not like any songs with animal sounds or any baby sounds that make out a song." I sat down at the table and started to eat my dinner. After I was done, I placed my plate in the sink. Then I asked for something to drink. Jen got up and showed me the drinks she had. I decided on some milk. She poured me a glass and I told her when to stop but it took her a couple seconds longer for her to stop pouring it so I ended up with a little more than I wanted. I drank most of my milk and left it on the counter. Jen just stuck it in the fridge for me and told me it will be in there if I want it again. I went back in Jason's room. "Aren't you going to eat?" I asked. "I will later," said Jason. I played more of his Game Boy games under the lamp until Jen came in and said she better take me home because t's getting late. "Come on Jason," said Jen. "Why?" he asked. "Because it's polite to go with your friend when I take them home, especially if they are your girlfriend." Jen had said girlfriend in a different tone of voice. "Oh fine," he moaned. I got my shoes on and Jason dilly dallied while getting ready. I was bored so I decided to just keep playing his Game Boy until it was time to leave for real. I went in his room and started playing again. But I hadn't even played for a minute when Jen called me again. I turned it off and went back to the front door. Jason was putting his shoes on and we stepped outside. I grabbed my backpack. We got to her car and I put my backpack on the floor. I wondered if Jason was going to smell my used diaper again. But luckily he didn't say anything. I guess he couldn't smell it anymore. "I'm hungry," said Jason. "I made diner so you can have it when we get back," said Jen. Jen turned on the radio and turned to a Christmas station. The Christmas Song was playing and then it ended. Then the next song came on. "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but the very next day you gave it away." I had never heard that song before. A couple more songs played before we got to my house. Jen pulled in our driveway and I grabbed my backpack. "Thanks for coming," said Jen. "And for not ruining our day," said Jason. Jen nudged him. "How would I ruin his day?" I asked. "Nothing," said Jen. "It's because we planned to go out today." I still didn't get how I would still ruin their day. "So, how would that ruin your day?" I asked. "Never mind, don't worry about it." Sometimes people just say strange things. I got out of the car and went inside. Everyone was still up. I put my coat and shoes away in the hall closet. Mom was in the kitchen working and she was wrapping up some cookie dough in plastic wrap. She just put it in the fridge. Then she cleaned up the mess. She wiped up all the flour and put the mixing bowl and other things in the sink she used. "Did you have fun?" she asked. "Yes," I said. "What did you guys do?" "Did tax evasion," I said. "Oh you went to Portland." At least Mom knew what I meant. "Where did you go down there?" "Downtown and we saw the big Christmas tree and we went to Saturday Market and we went to the mall." "Did you show them where Dad works?" "No," I said. Dad was in the family room watching TV and drinking pop. At least it wasn't a beer can or bottle. Whimper was in his cage again looking at Skippy while he was laying on the floor right by the couch. I went upstairs to my room to put my backpack away. Tomorrow would be Christmas Eve. I felt even more anxious about Christmas. Why did Dad have to drink?
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Post by Bad Beth on Mar 2, 2016 10:08:10 GMT
Chapter 12
I woke up the next morning to Christmas music playing again. "This this is Christ the king whom shepherds guard and angels sing; haste haste to bring him laud, the babe, son of Mary." I stayed in bed while hearing the music. The song ended and the next song came on. I stretched in bed while U2 was playing downstairs. Then I got out of bed. My diaper was soaking wet and it strongly smelled like pee. I started to change when I started to poop so I held it up to my bottom while messing it. After I was done, I cleaned the poop off me and I smeared rash cream all over me down there. Then I wiped my finger off and stuck the wipe in my messy diaper and put a clean one on. I then wrapped my used diaper in a ball and threw it away in the trash can in my room. I went downstairs. No one was in the family room and the TV was just off. I didn’t know where Kelly and Matthew were or Dad. Where was Mom? “Hello?” I called. “Hello,” Mom said from the living room. I peeked in there and there was Mom working. She was sitting in the chair with a big sketch pad and she was drawing and she had her legs crossed. She was dressed and she had a drink sitting next to her in a coffee cup. She picked it up and took a sip. I looked around the living room again and there was her art work all over and there was our lit Christmas tree and she also had her easel set up with an unfinished painting. “Where’s everyone else?” I asked. “Dad is in our bedroom watching TV, Matthew is playing outside with Whimper and your sister is in her room,” Mom just stared at her sketch pad while she answered. I left her art studio and went upstairs to Mom and Dad’s bedroom. Dad was watching some talking show. “Hey Nat, did you came to say hi or just to be with me, what do you want?” Dad asked as he was sipping at his coke can. “What is going to happen for Christmas?” I asked. “I am watching this, wait until a commercial,” said Dad. I left and went in Kelly’s room. She was on the computer typing. “Don’t bother me right now, I am doing some school work,” she said looking at the screen. “But you have two weeks,” I said. “This week and all next week.” “So, I can get it done sooner can I?” Kelly kept typing. “Can you believe how retarded this is? We have to type all our school work on the computer.” “Why?” I asked. “We have to type everything on the computer than writing down all our answers. The teacher wants us all to type the questions and then type our answers for English.” “So,” I said. I had done my school work on computers before, I didn’t know how it made it retarded. “How does doing school work on computer make it retarded?” I asked. “It’s a figure of speech Natalie, it’s just stupid we have to do this.” “I have done school work on computers, have you never done it before?” “Yes I have but not for everything.” I never had to do all school work on computers in English when I was in seventh grade. That must be something new. But I couldn’t see why it was a problem. “Why is it stupid to work on computers?” I asked. “Natalie, it just is, now stop asking questions please.” “You’re not making any sense,” I said. I left her room. I ate breakfast and put my bowl in the sink and the spoon too. I went in the den and played GoldenEye again. I did the bunker level. I shot bad guys and shot the cameras. I am not sure how long I played the game for but I noticed my diaper was wet because I could feel moisture in it when I moved my bottom around in it.
Later we were making Christmas cookies using the cookie dough Mom had made last night. She had out all the cookie cutters and the flour and the rolling pin. Dad wasn’t anywhere in the room because he was still upstairs. He had been up there all day. Mom still had Christmas music playing. Mom rolled the dough out and we each took turns picking out cookie cutters and setting them on the dough. Then when we were done, we each took turns pushing down on them. Then Mom put them on the cookie sheet. Then she rolled the dough back up and put more flour on the counter and rolled it out again. “Can I roll it out?” Kelly asked. “No,” said Mom. “Why? I know how to do it,” said Kelly. “Because I don’t like anyone doing it, I like it a certain way and I don’t want it to be too thin and too thick,” said Mom. “You can just tell me when to stop,” said Kelly. “No, I want it to be even,” said Mom. I could sense an argument coming and then Mom getting mad and the cookies would be packed up and probably thrown away because of Kelly. “Kelly, don’t ruin it for us,” I said. “She always wants things her way, she never lets us do it, it’s always her her her,” Kelly complained. “Don’t ruin it for us,” I shouted. “Be quiet.” Mom picked up some of the dough she hadn’t rolled out yet and slammed it in front of Kelly, “Here is your dough, take it elsewhere in the kitchen and do it yourself,” said Mom. “But there is only one roller,” said Kelly. “Wait until I am done with the cookies,” said Mom. Kelly sighed and walked out of the kitchen. “Where is she going?” Matthew asked. “I don’t know,” said Mom. We kept making cookies and when the cookie sheet got full, Mom put them in the oven and set the timer. Kelly was missing all the fun. Mom had out another cookie sheet and she took Kelly’s cookie dough and started to roll it out. “We’re using Kelly’s cookie dough now,” I said. “It’s not hers,” said Mom. “But you gave it to her,” I said. “Because she wanted to roll some out herself but she doesn’t want to do it so we are using it.” “Too bad she is missing out on the fun,” I said. “Oh well,” said Mom. “Is Brian going to not be here this Christmas?” Mathew asked. “Um he called but he said he wouldn’t be here today or tomorrow,” Mom replied. “Why?” I asked. It was like he was avoiding us. We didn’t see him for Thanksgiving either. Instead he went to Kate’s parents, he was probably going there again. “He said if we want to see him, we would have to go to Jim and Denise’s house,” said Mom. “Are we going there?” Matthew asked. “I’m thinking about it.” “Cool,” I said. If we went to their house, I would get to see Allie and see how her diapers have been treating her. “How come Brian never comes here?” Matthew asked again. “He was here last month,” I said. “Because he has been busy with school and he works part time and he has a girlfriend,” said Mom. “Mom,” Matthew said again. “How come you and Dad waited seven years to have more kids?" "Actually it was six years because I got pregnant with Natalie. The reason why the wait is because having one child was lot of work and Dad was busy with school and work and I found raising Brian a handful." "Why?" "Because kids are lot of work. They make messes and if one could make a lot in short amount of time, imagine having two kids or three? Then the mess doubles. Being a parent isn't always easy and I was always cleaning and he was a colic baby so he was always crying. I didn't want any more kids." "But you had us," said Matthew. "All you three were unplanned and so was Brian. So after I had you, I got fixed because I didn't want to turn into Grandma Del. She kept on having kids because she never got herself fixed and she kept on having sex. Plus, I didn't want this house to turn into a kid zone and be filled with crap and you wouldn't have had your own bedroom. Can you imagine sharing it with two other kids or three?" Matthew didn't answer. "After I had you three, Brian had to help out raising you guys because it would get too overwhelming for me. He was a very a good brother and a good son. Now all of you are older now, you can take care of yourselves and you know to not make huge messes and you can clean up after yourself and you keep yours in your bedroom." "Why didn't you get an abortion?" I asked. "Because Dad wanted you three and so did I." "But you said you didn't want more," I pointed out. "It's complicated," said Mom. "When you are a parent, you feel different when you are pregnant. You don't want children or don't want any more but when you find out you are pregnant, your feelings all of a sudden change and you want the baby even though you didn't want one. That is why I got my tubes tied." "But some moms kill their babies and abandon them or put them up for an adoption or have an abortion," I said. "Yes Natalie, there are some horrible people out there that will kill their baby. There are stupid people out there who will just dump them in a dumpster like they are trash or abandon them somewhere instead of putting theirs up for an adoption. But not everyone will put theirs up for an adoption or get an abortion." "Have you ever had one?" Matthew asked. “Have what?” Mom asked. “Abortion,” said Matthew. Never,” said Mom. We got finished putting cookies on the cookie sheet and Mom grabbed a small cookie sheet instead of a big one. Mom checked the cookies in the oven. She put more flour on the counter and started rolling it out again. Then she paused. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “Be right back, I have to go do something,” said Mom. She rushed out of the kitchen. “Don’t touch the dough,” she shouted from the stairs. While Mom was up there, I grabbed the rolling pin and started to roll out the cookie dough. “Mom says to not tough it,” said Matthew. “I’m rolling it,” I said. “But you’re touching it, she is going to get mad.” I rolled the dough out not even pressing on it and I let the rolling pin do the work. I saw some lumps so I rolled over them to flatten them out. “Natalie,” said Matthew. “She can do it again,” I said. “I don’t want her to get mad.” I tossed the dough over and rolled it again. I even sprinkled flour on the rolling pin when it started to stick. I made sure to even out the edges. I was copying the way Mom did it. Then I heard her coming down the stairs so I put the rolling pin down. The dough was still thick. Mom walked to the counter and looked at the dough. “What? How? What happened?” She was staring at it like she was confused and she kept looking at it open mouth like she didn’t know what had happened. I didn’t know why she was acting that way. It was obvious one of us had rolled it because it was more spread out. “Natalie did it,” said Matthew. “Natalie, I told you to not touch it,” Mom said. “I was bored,” I said. Mom grabbed the dough and rolled it in a ball again. And she rolled it out again. At least she didn’t get upset. But the way I did it wasn’t good enough so she had to do it all over again. Then the timer went off and Mom grabbed the over mitt and took the cookies out and put in another cookie sheet and set the timer again. Mom just rested the cookie sheet on the stove. Mom took off her oven mitt and tossed it down on the counter. Then she sneezed in her hands and washed them at the sink using hand soap. Then she went back to rolling out the dough. “I want to frost the cookies now,” said Matthew. “We have to wait for them to cool down or else the frosting will melt and not stick,” Mom replied. “Mom, why did you have Brian before all of us?” Matthew asked. “Because it happened, we have no control over who is born first.” “How come?” Matthew and his stupid questions again. “Because when people have sex, the sperm fertilizes the egg in the ovaries has released and it’s all random what the baby will be and what genes it will have and what hair color it will have and eye color and how it will look.” “Will there be more babies from you?” “She said she got her tubes tied remember?” I said. “No, I had my tubes tied,” said Mom. “Good,” said Matthew. “Will Natalie have any?” “Ask her,” said Mom. “I’m too young,” I said. No way was I having a baby now. I didn’t want to give up my freedom and having to work to take care of my baby and Mom and Dad will not watch it for me for free and give me any allowance. They say if you have kids before you are an adult, your childhood is over because you now have to support it and get a job and quit school. No more buying video games because it will all go to the baby. “Will you have them later?” Matthew asked. “I hope,” I said. “Will you have them later?” Mom asked Matthew back. “No way. They’re annoying and mean.” “When you have your own you can teach them to not be that way,” I said. “It’s not easy Natalie,” said Mom. “Why?” I asked. “You just punish them.” “Did you stop being mean to your sister when we punished you? Did you stop being mean to Matthew?” “Yes,” I said. “No you didn’t or you would have stopped after the first,” said Mom. “Also not every punishment works on every child, every kid is different.” “Why not spank them?” I asked. “Natalie, if you spank your kids too much, then it just teaches them to hit. Once in a while is fine like if they do something dangerous or when they do something very bad.” “I remember being hit all the time?” “You’re exaggerating, you were only spanked about five times in your life, the reason you think you were hit a lot is because it really sticks in your brain and you never forget. That is what a spanking is for so you never forget and you don’t do it again.” “Grandma Del spanked you all the time,” I pointed out. “And what happened then? I was hitting her all the time and whenever she would hit me, I would strike back and then I was mean to my little brother because she did it too much and you shouldn’t even be spanking your kids past kindergarten because they know right from wrong and understand the word no. I understood the word.” “I have never been spanked right?” Matthew asked. “You were only hit once by me but your father hit you several times,” said Mom. “So I wasn’t hit once,” said Matthew. “Only by me but your dad hit you several times.” “I hit him too,” I said. “That doesn’t count,” said Mom. “why?” “Because what you did was not a spanking.” “What is a spanking?” Matthew asked. “I am glad you asked,” said Mom. “A spanking is when you hit the kid on their butt for a form of discipline. It’s not s spanking if you do it because someone did something you didn’t like or because they mad you angry or because you want revenge or you do it for control. You were only hitting your brother because you were angry at him and it is not your job to discipline your brother. That is Mom and Dad’s job and only parents can do the spankings, not the brother and sister or neighbor or nanny or baby sitter and whoever else is in charge.” “What’s it called when you hit them on their hand?” Matthew asked. “Just a slap,” said Mom. “But only Mom and Dads can do that. Then they are too old for that when they understand the word no.” “Will Kelly have kids?” Matthew asked. “Why don’t you ask her,” said Mom. “Will Brian have kids?” “Ask him.” “He isn’t here.” “Call him and ask or wait until he sees us again.” I saw Mom had rolled her dough too thin and Matthew made a comment about it. Mom rolled it back up again and started to roll it out again. The dough was all covered in flower. Then when she was done, we picked cookie cutters and placed them on the dough and then we pressed them down. Then Mom lifted the cutters off the dough and she pulled the extra dough away. Then she got the spatula and a plate and she scooped the other cookies off the cookie sheet and put them on the plate. Then she set the cookie sheet down beside us. Mom started to put the cookies on the sheet. She rolled out the rest of the dough and there was only room for three cookie cutters and Mom put those on the sheet too. She let us eat the rest of the dough. Then Mom grabbed all the cookie cutters and put them in the sink. Then she got the sponge and wiped the counter top. She also put the roller in the sink too. Then she got out the beaters, the powdered sugar, the butter, the milk, and then she looked for something else. “Ah here it is.” She took out one last thing and it said vanilla on it. Mom got out a mixing bowl and she opened the powered sugar and poured some in and then she opened the stick of butter and dumped it in the bowl and she plugged in the beaters and got a wooden spoon and started mixing. Then she turned them off and put in one tablespoon of vanilla and milk and started mixing again. Mom kept on mixing and she added in more powdered sugar to make it just right and she was getting some powered sugar on the counter. Then she was done and she let us each lick the beaters. Mom got out some butter knives and the sprinkles and told us the cookies were ready to be decorated. “Yay,” I clapped and jumped. I sat down in one of the bar stools and so did Matthew and we each picked up a cookie. “Too bad Kelly is missing this,” I said. “Yeah too bad,” said Matthew. “Oh well,” said Mom. “That is her fault.” I spread frosting on my cookie and poured some sprinkles on it. The timer went off again and Mom got the oven mitt and took the other cookies out of the oven and put in the last cookie sheet and set the timer again. Organs played on our stereo. It was Hark the Herald Angels Sing. I kept decorating each cookie and then Kelly came in the kitchen. “You did cookies without me?” she cried. “You left,” we said in unison “Why didn’t you guys tell me you were going to be decorating them?” “You weren’t here,” said Mom. “So I thought you didn’t want to do them.” Kelly stormed out of the kitchen. “You can join us,” I called. “Forget it,” she shouted. “What’s her problem?” I asked. “Do I look like a mind reader?” Mom asked. “She a blonde,” said Matthew. I laughed. Mom just snickered. We kept decorating them and Mom scooped more cookies off the cookie sheet and she even took out the last batch and set them on the stove for them to cool down. Then Dad came down. “What happened here?” he asked. “We’re frosting and decorating the cookies,” said Mom. “Kelly said you three excluded her,” said Dad. “Oh for god’s sake, she left. I didn’t leave her out of this.” “She chose to quit doing this with us,” I said. “Okay,” said Dad. He went back upstairs and I heard him talking. “You always take their side,” I heard Kelly shout and then the door slammed. She is so weird. I had a cookie and I licked the frosting off my fingers and wiped them on the hand towel. Mom took Whimper out of his cage and put him outside so he could go potty. Skippy ran outside to go. Then he waited by the door when he was done and Matthew let him back in. He came inside and then I noticed he was eating one of the cookies he got off the counter. Then he took another one and didn’t even chew it. He just waited by the door again and whimpered. “I think he wants out again,” said Matthew. He let him outside again and Skippy marched down the steps. Then Mom came back inside and put Whimper back in his cage.
For some reason we did not see Skippy for the rest of the day. He was not even in the yard. Mom decided she wouldn’t worry about it unless he is still gone by tomorrow. But Matthew got worried. “Natalie, want to help me find Skippy please?” he asked me while I was playing Kirby. “I am busy with the game,” I said. Matthew left the room. It was getting close to dark. Soon I heard Dad asking if anyone had seen Matthew. “He went looking for our dog,” said Mom. “What? He is gone?” Dad asked. “He’s a male dog, some female dog is probably in heat,” said Mom. “It’s almost time for dinner,” said Dad. “We’ll save him some,” said Mom. Matthew didn’t come home when it got dark out and we were all ready to eat. Mom went outside on the front porch and made a sound with her mouth like a whistle to alert Matthew to come home. Then she came back inside. “Is this the first time he has done it?” Dad asked. “Yes,” said Mom. “No, I mean our dog.” “Yes, I believe so,” said Mom. “He has not taken off in a while, I wonder how he got out of our yard,” said Dad. “He jumped,” said Mom. “But he has been back before so I am not a least bit worried.” We had always kept Skippy in the backyard to keep him from taking off because he is a male dog and male dogs wander off and loose dogs are not allowed in our neighborhood or else animal control gets called and they come and get the dog and take them to the pound but they will call you first if it happens the first time but for some reason Skippy has never been caught by a dog catcher. Either he gets away before they can catch him or no one ever calls them for him so Mom wasn’t concerned. She will be concerned if he isn’t back by tomorrow and the first thing first would be to check with the dog pound. Matthew came home while we were having dinner. “Did you find Skippy?” Dad asked. Matthew was crying so I assumed he hadn’t. “Matthew, if he isn’t home by tomorrow morning, I will go to the dog pound to see if he is there,” said Mom. “He better not be or else that is more money wasted,” said Dad. “I will just tie him in the yard if this happens or just not let him outside alone and he must be on a leash at all times and then he has to be inside in the laundry room.” “What if he doesn’t come home?” Matthew cried. “He has taken off before and has come back, this isn’t the first time,” said Mom. Last time Skippy had done it was two years ago and Dad had to fix the gate to keep him in the yard. I left the table and looked outside and the gate was still intact, closed. I wondered how Skippy got out of the yard. I finished my meal and put my plate in the sink. Mom had already washed the cookie cutters and the rolling pin because they were all resting on a towel air drying with the other dishes she used for making the frosting. Matthew still worried about Skippy. Dad went outside a couple times and called him. “He isn’t back yet,” he said. “Don’t worry about it until tomorrow,” Mom told Matthew. Kelly was just sitting in her chair with her head resting on her left hand while she was fiddling with the food on her plate with her fork. Matthew had barely touched his food and my plate was in the sink. I had eaten all my food. Mom cleaned her plate and got out of her chair and rinsed it in the sink. “Will you have any kids Kelly?” Matthew asked, “No,” she said. “Why?” “Why? What do you think? Do I look old enough to have a baby?” Kelly yelled. “When you are an adult,” said Matthew. “I don’t know.” “Did you want kids Dad when you were a kid?” Matthew asked. “No,” he said. “Why?” “I was a kid Mathew, what do you think?” said Dad. “What is it with you and asking us about kids?” I asked my brother. “I’m curious,” he said. “At least it’s not about dinosaurs again and Math and space,” said Kelly. Dad laughed. “Thank god.” “Hey at least you haven’t said one word about your game and James Bond,” Kelly said to me. “Hey everyone, it’s a good thing we got her a Nintendo 64 because she has not been talking much about her obsessions, hooray.” Dad cleared off the table while Mom rinsed the dishes in the sink. The dishwasher was full with clean dishes so Mom was washing them by hand. “Hey who didn’t empty the dishwasher?” Dad scolded. “Kelly, this was your job, why didn’t you do it?” “I was busy with my homework,” said Kelly. “It took you all day? You could have done it when you weren’t making cookies. Since you are not eating your food, I want you to empty it now.” Kelly sighed and slumped out of her chair. Matthew checked outside again and shouted for Skippy. “Natalie, I want you to sweep the floors down here,” Dad told me. It was my turn to sigh and slump out of my chair. “Matthew, please check the litter box to make sure it doesn’t need to be cleaned and if it does, clean it.” I got a broom and started to sweep. I started in the hallway where the front door is and I swept in there to the kitchen and then I swept all of the kitchen floors and the laundry room and used a dust pan to pick up the dirt. Dad walked around the house and then started scolding us for not doing our chores. “None of you children did your chores, what is this? Just because this is a holiday does not mean you all get to be lazy. Your mum shouldn’t have to do all the work around here, do you want social services to come and take you because of a dirty house?” “How are they going to know ours is dirty if they never come by?” I asked. “People come to the door now for Mum’s artwork so if they see the dirty house, they can call social services.” “No one is not going to call social services on us Glen,” said Mom. “The house has to be way dirty and this is not a health hazard, not even close.” “Remember what happened before Anita?” “Yes and it was just an incompetent social worker, no one lives like us.” “Haven’t you seen how clean the other houses are around here?” Dad asked. “Because they always cleaned before they invite guests over, it’s what you always do when you are expecting people.” “Well we’re expecting people here now all the time because of your studio so we have to keep the house clean.” Mom agreed with Dad and also thought the house should be very clean and us kids have to start remembering to do our chores. “I hate this,” Matthew cried. “Why did you have to be stupid and drink?” “Don’t blame me, your mum took it away and how was I going to go a few days without drinking?” “Why couldn’t you wait a few days?” “If you withhold something from someone, they are going to want to do it more and that is what happened.” So it was Mom’s fault. If she hadn’t made him go a week without drinking, he wouldn’t have gone to the bar and drank and crash into the bank which has now been fixed. They rebuilt the whole front and put in whole new windows but Dad has to pay for all that through his fine. He had ruined Christmas. “This is going to be the worst Christmas ever,” said Matthew. “Yeah you both ruined it,” I said. “What?” Mom asked. “Yeah if you hadn’t taken away Dad’s beer, he wouldn’t have craved it more and gone to the bar and drank more than he does and crash into the bank. You ruined Christmas.” “Now kids, just stop,” said Dad. “You both ruined it,” said Matthew. “If you would have had more willpower to not do it and just wait a few more days, we would still be getting presents.” “So this is what it’s about. You want presents so you are very upset you might not be getting any. Well Matthew this is what a real Christmas is. Not all children have a Christmas because their parents cannot afford presents for their children. They can only rely on their friends and relatives and people around them who are generous enough to give them a present. Do you think your cousins ever get a good Christmas, they can only rely on us and your relatives to get them something but I am sure as hell they never get anyone anything. You both are acting like spoiled brats.” I started crying and so did Matthew. Dad sighed again and said “Oh god. Look. We have a tree, we have up our lights, we have up our decorations, you made cookies, at least you still get all this. If you both want presents, why not make your own or make fake coupons and do something like have for Mum, “day off from cleaning” and you do all her housework or do breakfast in bed and you kids serve them a breakfast or Natalie you can do “one day of remember to change your own nappies without stinking up the whole house” now those will be your Christmas presents for the whole family.” I didn’t like homemade presents, I liked real presents. I also didn’t want fake coupons. Those were not something you get to keep. Matthew didn’t like the idea either. This was the worst Christmas ever, both my parents had ruined it. I think for the first time ever I felt like Aunt Bridgette’s family. I felt sorry for my cousins. After all they only had one car too and were also limited on gas and what they can do. The only difference was we still had a bigger house, a nice yard, our own rooms, all our toys and stuff and a nice minivan and we still had our internet and cable. I think we were poor now for the very first time. “Natalie, clean the downstairs bathroom now,” Dad ordered me. I went in the bathroom and it looked fine so I used a hand towel and just wiped everything down. “It’s clean,” I said. Dad checked. He looked at the sink and at the toilet. I tossed the hand towel in the laundry. Luckily there wasn’t any laundry that needed to be done. Matthew cleaned the litter box and Kelly was finished with the dishwasher. Then they had to load it now. Mom had some of the clean dishes spread out on the counter drying. “Kelly, I need you to dry these dishes and put them away,” said Dad. Kelly groaned. “I want a nice clean house for Christmas,” said Dad. I didn’t know what else to do. The house looked fine to me. I figured this was all my chores and I went in the bedroom to play more Nintendo 64. While I played, I heard barking outside and someone poking at the window. I looked behind the curtain and there was Skippy. “He’s back,” I shouted. I ran out of the room saying “Skippy is back everyone.” “Well what do you know,” said Dad. We rushed to the front door and we opened it and Skippy came right inside. “Skippy,” said Matthew. “A female dog must be in heat,” said Dad. I tried to think of all the female dogs around here. The rest were small and I knew of some big dogs around here but I was never sure if they were boys or girls. I knew of one cute Poodle that was large sized like Skippy but she is always kept in the garage and never outside so Skippy couldn’t possibly get to her unless he was hanging around on the driveway but then wouldn’t the neighbors have called to tell us where our dog is? Then I thought of that other yellow Lab dog I saw the other day while riding my bike and Skippy took off running making me fall off my bike. Could it have been that dog? “We are going to keep him locked up now,” said Dad. “He must be inside at all times and only be outside leashed and someone would have to be out there with him,” said Dad. “We do not want him wandering around and being captured and having to bail him out and if he poops somewhere in the neighborhood.” Skippy went right to the kitchen and went to his food and it was empty. He then started to eat the food off of Matthew’s plate. Matthew didn’t seem to care but Mom and Dad did because they scolded him and Mom dumped the food in the trash. Dad picked up the dog bowl and scooped the dog food in it from the bag and set it back on the floor where he eats. Skippy started to eat it fast. Mom also scooped up some food in a breakfast bowl and fed it to Whimper in Skippy’s cage. Mom had to clean up the mess he made in there because he had used it as the toilet on the other end of the cage.I just went back to my game.
After eight, Dad asked all of us “Is everyone ready for tomorrow?” I would never be ready.
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Post by Bad Beth on Aug 31, 2016 17:07:11 GMT
Chapter 13
I woke up, I remembered it was Christmas. I was too scared to go downstairs to see what was under the tree. What if there were no presents? I hated Christmas this year, why did Dad have to crash his car? Why did he have to drink and then drive? He had ruined Christmas. Why did Mom have to take his beer away, she had also ruined Christmas. Mom didn't even go shopping. We had the whole weekend and she and Dad never went out and did it. Too bad Santa wasn't real. I laid here and then my bedroom door opened, "Natalie," said Dad. "It's Christmas, get dressed and come downstairs." I felt excited. Maybe there would be presents after all. Maybe they did Christmas shop and they had done it while we were in school and they kept the presents hidden. Maybe they were just letting us be upset thinking it was ruined because they wanted to surprise us. No wonder Jason hated surprises. I thought they were always great until now. Now I knew how Kelly felt on her birthday. Maybe we would get something bad as her. I felt nervous all over again. Maybe it wouldn’t be a good surprise. Mom came in my room and she changed my diaper and got me dressed in a nice outfit. She got Matthew up too and I headed downstairs with Kelly who was also dressed in a nice outfit. We both had on dresses and I had on pantyhose. Mom had on a nice dress too and it’s rare to see her dress that nicely. But she still didn’t have her hair done or have on any make up. Kelly had none on either because Mom doesn’t allow make up for her. Matthew had on one of his nice outfits and Dad was also dressed nicely. "Now kids this is going to be a very special Christmas," said Dad. I felt nervous. I bet it was going to be horrible. Kelly and I went in the living room but Dad told us "Not that tree kids, the other tree in the family room," said Dad. We went in the family room and there were a bunch of presents. They were all over the place, under the tree, on the couch and table, right in front of the TV, in front of the fire place, right by the windows, right by Skippy's crate. Christmas music was even playing. "Ta da," said Dad. "Whoa," said Matthew when he saw them. "Dad, how did you get so many?" Kelly asked. "How did you afford all these with the debt we're in?" I asked. "Your mum and I worked it out," said Dad. Mom came in the kitchen and she started to make coffee. Matthew picked up a present and said "Hey this feels empty. Kelly picked one up and said "Yeah this one does too." Matthew picked up another one and said "This also feels empty." I started picking them up and they felt empty, each one. "These are empty," I said. "You wrapped up empty boxes and got us nothing?" said Kelly. I felt gypped. This is what Dad meant by a special Christmas. They had wrapped up a bunch of boxes for us to open and we still get nothing. "So we got no presents, only boxes," I cried. "This is the worst Christmas ever." "You haven't even opened them," said Dad. Matthew started to kick at the presents in anger and punching them. Kelly kicked at the presents in front of the fireplace. I joined in and I decided to play “A Christmas Story.” I picked up one of the boxes and tossed it behind me. "Hey, stop, you might break something," said Dad. "How can I break it if there is nothing in them?" Matthew yelled. "Just open them will you," said Dad. "Let me get the camera first." Dad got the movie camera and Mom came in the family room with the cups of coffee. "I got one for you Glen," she said when he came back. "Hey you thought of me this time, great," said Dad. He set up the movie camera and I just cried. "Okay kids, get your first present," said Dad. Each present had our names on them so I looked for Natalie. I picked it up and started to open it. It was an empty brown box. I tossed it aside and looked for another one but Dad said "Natalie, you didn't open it." "I did," I said. "No you didn't." "Yes I did." "Did you even open the box?" "No," I said. "You better open it." "Why?" "There might be something in there." I grabbed it again and peeled the tape and Kelly and Matthew were working on their "present." I peeled the tape off and opened it and it was just a bunch of packing peanuts. "It's nothing," I said. "Go look." I dumped out all the peanuts. I noticed a twenty-dollar bill. "Money," I said. "Let's see it," said Dad. "I showed it to him. "Oh great, see Natalie, I told you there is something." "Money," Matthew shouted. "Ten bucks?" "I bet there is a bill in this box," said Kelly while opening hers. "Put your money somewhere so it won't get lost," said Dad. I set my money on the fire place mantelpiece and looked for another present to open. I found another Natalie present and opened it. It was another box and I peeled the tape. "I got a twenty-dollar bill," said Kelly. I opened my box and it was more peanuts and it was a five-dollar bill. We all opened our presents and the whole family room was filled with peanuts and we were all digging in our boxes and finding money. Matthew even opened a box that had fifty cents. I opened some that had one dollar bills. One dollar per box. I was not happy we were getting money. I wanted presents but instead they got us money. "Why are we getting money instead of presents?" I asked. "So you kids can enjoy it and use your money to get whatever you want so that way you will like your presents," said Dad. "No more of the gift disaster," said Mom. I then remembered what Jen had told me at the mall. "Christmas is about giving, if someone didn't like my present, I might just give them a check instead or cash next time." That was what Mom had done. We didn't like her presents over the years so she got us money. This was the worst Christmas ever.
After all our presents had been opened, I counted my money and it added up to one hundred and fifty dollars. That was all in coins and dollar bills and twenties and some fives. "If you all count your money, you should all have an even amount," said Dad. "I got one fifty," I said. "One hundred and fifty dollars," said Dad. I did the math and that would only give me three Nintendo 64 games. Matthew was playing in the peanuts. Kelly was counting her money. "One fifty," she said. "Daddy, can we go shopping now for our presents?" Matthew asked. "Not today kiddo, all the stores are closed," said Dad. "Tomorrow we can do that but it will be real crowded. There will be all these long lines so it's best we wait a few days." "How did you get all these boxes and peanuts?" I asked. "We found the boxes from our neighbors and Mum bought the peanuts," said Dad. "She used the money she earned and did this." Mom was sitting on the couch looking at us. "Okay, I need you all to pick up this mess now," said Dad. I didn't know where to start. Dad grabbed the trash bags and he told us to put the wrapping paper in the trash bag and put the peanuts in the other one and put the boxes in the kitchen on the floor. We started to clean up. Mom and Dad were helping too. I grabbed all the wrapping paper and put it in the trash bag. I put all the peanuts in the other trash bag. I thought it was annoying to pick up the peanuts because they were flying all over and it was harder to carry when I had too much. "Kids, put the boxes in each pile, each box has a name on it for the neighbors it belongs to so we must give them back," said Dad. "The ones with no names on them, we'll put right here to recycle." We put the boxes in the right pile. Now the day was back to normal because we didn’t have any new toys to enjoy. All we had was money which we couldn’t even use right now. Mom took Whimper outside to go pee or poo. Dad brought Skippy outside on his leash. Mom set Whimper down when she brought him inside. She went in the kitchen while I brought my money up to my room to put away so I wouldn’t lose it. One hundred and fifty dollars was a lot of money but it would only get me three Nintendo 64 games, or five Game Boy games. That would still not be much presents. What did I really want for Christmas and I had limited choices. I made a wish list in my head what I wanted. Lot of it on my mind was video games and I wanted 102 Dalmatians soundtrack. I wanted some James Bond stuff but they are never in stores. “This was the worst Christmas ever,” Kelly told me when she walked in my room. “Yeah,” I said. “But at least we didn’t get any presents we don’t like.” Kelly held her Christmas money up. “This is nothing, I get this all the time, I will mind as well put it in savings.” “But it’s for us to spend it on our presents,” I said. “Mom had done it again, for my birthday all I got was a gift card and a check which I haven’t even used yet because I couldn’t and we can’t even go anywhere with Dad being so cheap because of his mistake, this is worse than the gift disaster. Where are they going to take us to shop? Downtown or Fred Meyers?” “What’s wrong with Fred Meyer, they have games and stuff,” I said. “Stores have different stuff, I would like to go to Hot Topic.” I thought of Spencers where they sell those cool keychains, mini board games or mini baby toys you can actually play with. Hot topic has lot of neat clothes but they always cost too much. “I wish our family was normal,” said Kelly and she left my bedroom. I smelled the food downstairs and I was starving. I went downstairs and Mom had made some scrambled eggs and she had bacon cooking and Dad was making pancakes. “You want any Natalie?” Dad asked. “Yeah,” I said and I panted like a dog. “Go get a plate,” said Dad. I got a plate and brought it to him and he put two pancakes on it. I scooped some eggs on my plate but I did not want any bacon. I ate and put my plate in the sink. I got the movie GoldenEye and watched it in the den. I played on the old computer in there. I heard Dad yell at Mom again about Whimper. “Oh no, Anita! Get him out of here, god…just get him…put him outside or lock him up.” I wondered what he had done wrong but I was too busy to even care. When I was at the part where James and Natalya were escaping from the archives, Dad was calling my name. “What?” I yelled. I hated being interrupted. “Natalie?” Dad called again. “What?” I screamed. Dad called my name again and this time I ignored him. I wasn’t going to answer him again. “Natalie?” I heard Dad call in the family room. Then he opened the door. “Get ready,” he said. “Where are we going?” I asked. I knew we had to be going somewhere or else he wouldn’t be telling me to get ready. “We’re going to Kate’s parents’ house.” I will get to see Allie and check up on her diaper status. That was the only thing I cared about. I paused the movie and went upstairs. I packed my backpack for my diaper bag. I changed my diaper and threw it away. I packed my Game Boy and games and I also packed my word search book and a book I am reading. I also went to the den and put in Mario party 2, Kirby, The World is Not Enough and an extra controller. I took my backpack downstairs with me and went in the den and continued watching my movie. “Natalie?” Dad called again. “What?” I shouted. Dad came in the room. “Are you ready, come on.” I turned the movie and TV off. I then had to turn the computer off. Then I grabbed my coat and waited in the car. Mom waited in the driver’s seat. Dad and Matthew came out and he got in the car while Dad locked Skippy in the laundry room. “Hey what’s in this bag?” Matthew asked as he was picked up a plastic bag and a couple diapers came out. They were not mine. “Matthew!” Mom shouted. “Sorry,” he said. Mom picked them up and put the bag between the front seats again. Kelly got in too and closed the door. Dad was checking around the car and looking at our tires before getting in the car. Then he checked the laundry room again and closed the door again and turned the knob. Then he got in the car. We left our house and headed to Allie’s. Matthew started to talk about numbers again but Dad told him we didn’t want to hear about it. I stayed quiet. I just looked out the windows. “Isn’t this great, we are getting a free Christmas dinner,” said Dad. “But the only thing we are using is our gas.” “We get to see our brother again,” said Kelly. Matthew still talked about numbers and math and then Dad yelled at him again. “This is an obsession free ride,” Dad said. “No James Bond, no Zelda, no Nintendo, no GoldenEye, no Jurassic Park, no dinosaurs, no books, no talk shows, no art, no space. No talking about any obsessions. Zero. I hope that is clear.” “Yay,” said Kelly.
When we got to Alllie’s, I could see Kate’s car but not Brian’s. I assumed he came in Kate’s car. Mom parked our car next to her’s and we all got out. I wore my backpack. “Remember to knock,” Dad told us. Matthew ran up to the front door and he started to ring the doorbell over and over. “Matthew, enough of ringing the doorbell,” said Mom. Matthew stopped. He walked around in circled while I swayed my body while waiting. I heard someone come to the door and it opened. There was Jim. “Hey, come on in,” he said. We took our shoes off and put them to the side. Matthew pulled his feet out of his shoes and left them there so Mom kicked them aside with the rest of our shoes. I took off my coat and backpack and hung my coat up and kept my backpack with me. We walked into the family room. I saw Brian and Kate sitting on the couch together. “Where are the kids?” I asked. “They’re upstairs,” said Denise. She said hi to all of us. I went upstairs and looked for Allie. I looked in the playroom first. There she was sitting down watching TV. “Hi,” I said. “Hi,” she said. “How are diapers treating you?” I asked. “They don’t do anything to me.” “Have you been like wearing them all the time like me?” I asked. “My mom keeps all the doors locked and I have a terrible diaper rash and I can’t even pee.” “Why can’t you pee?” “Because I have a rash.” “So you have to hold it because your mom says so?” I asked. “No because it will sting if I go and I am not allowed to have a break.” “Well you can always air out on the toilet, that is what I always have to do whenever I get one,” I said. “Also you need to use rash cream every time you change.” “But I am not even allowed to use any toilets and I have to wear a diaper at all times,” said Allie. “You can put some on now,” I said. “I have rash cream with me if you don’t have any.” “I do have some on, I just can’t air out.” “I’ll be right back,” I said. I went downstairs and found Denise. “There you are,” said Dad. “You took off without even saying hi to your brother.” “Hi,” I said to Brian quickly waving at him. “Denise, Allie has a diaper rash,” I said. Everyone was laughing. “What’s funny?” I asked. “I told you you forgot to say hi to your brother and you just go “hi” and go start asking,” Dad explained. I didn’t see how that was funny but whatever. People laugh for no reason. I swear they do it whenever they want to and they can do it without getting into trouble and I wonder how everyone laughs at once as if they know when to do it. I have to wait for everyone to do it when I do it and then stop when they stop. Just another rule of being normal. “I know. That is part of wearing diapers, rashes will happen,” said Denise. “But can’t she sit on the toilet and air out like I do?” I asked. “Oh yeah, that is right, that should also be part of her punishment,” said Mom. “Let’s see how she likes that.” “But then I am afraid she will just go in it and that she will just hold it until she is on it,” said Denise. “That is a very good point,” said Mom. “But I sometimes pee in the toilet when I air out or poop,” I said. “But you are incontinent, she is not so she can abuse that,” said Denise. “The whole purpose of this is so she wouldn’t want to wear diapers.” I felt sorry for Allie. I was so glad I don’t get forced to stay in diapers when I get a rash and I can sit on the toilet all day long reading or doing anything to keep me busy. That is the only time I get to use the toilet like everyone else but I don’t like sitting on it all the time because then I can’t do anything else. I am so limited. “But she will only sit on it when she has a rash,” I said. “But she can just say she has one just so she can sit on it.” “So check her butt always to be sure she is telling the truth.” “That is a good idea,” said Denise. “I will see how she will like sitting on the toilet missing out on everything.” Denise went upstairs. “I bet you are having fun with this,” said Mom. “This is crazy,” said Dad. “So she took your nappies, at least make her do chores or something to pay them off for how many she took, ground her, but this going too far.” “Denise wanted Natalie to pick a punishment and she picked this,” said Mom. “What if she wanted her to sleep outside or be locked in the closet, would that be okay?” Dad asked. “Allie wanted to wear diapers,” said Mom. “So Natalie wants her to see how it feels to have to wear them than having the choice. This is only a lesson.” “I really hope what Denise is doing to her won’t destroy her and her self-esteem,” said Dad. “Why?” I asked. “What do you think Natalie, what she is doing is child abuse, and making her wear nappies and her being humiliated about it when she has to wear them around everyone and have them know.” “But I do fine with it and I am okay,” I said. “That’s different, she doesn’t need nappies, you do, everyone knows she doesn’t have a medical condition and are they going to lie about her needing them and make up an excuse?” Mom and I didn’t say anything. I went upstairs and looked for Allie to see how she was doing on the toilet but I saw her and Denise arguing. Allie didn’t want to sit on the toilet for the rest of the day. “Then you wear diapers but holding it is going to give you a urinary tract infection,” said Denise. “This is the reality of wearing diapers,” I said. “That’s right,” said Denise. “You have a rash but because you are seeing what it’s like needing to wear them, you are pretend incontinent and incontinent people don’t get to just take their diapers off to go and if they have a rash, they don’t really have a choice but to wear them or sit on the toilet and air out so their bottom don’t sting.” “Doesn’t,” I said. Allie stopped arguing and held her crotch. Denise left. “My bladder is killing me,” said Allie. “So go,” I said. “I can’t or it will sting.” “Ohhhhhh,” I said. “So besides the rash, how have you been liking diapers?” “It really isn’t fun wearing them all the time,” said Allie. “Do you still wish to wear them?” “I don’t want to wear them all the time.” “Why not?” I asked. “It’s embarrassing, I can’t even go to friends houses or invite them here, I can’t even dress in the locker room or undress, I can’t change in the bathroom at school, I can’t wear all my clothes, it’s embarrassing when I have to go poop, how do you do it?” “I have no friends but it’s not because I wear diapers, it’s because I am different and kids can tell for some reason it’s like I have the words different written on me and I don’t have the same clothes you have and I never get invited anywhere and I always carry extra diapers in my backpack and I got used to everyone knowing I wear them and it’s nothing new. It’s just something I have lived with for eight years so I got used to it and the changes and I also get changed in the private bathroom and I don’t see it as a big problem.” “But the kids at school are wondering why I go in there instead of in the regular restrooms,” said Allie. “What do I tell them?” “I don’t know.” “And I can’t carry my bag everywhere or else kids might look in it and would want to know why I carry it with me everywhere.” “I don’t carry mine everywhere and I keep them in my locker now and I take my bag to the private bathroom to change.” “And doesn’t anyone ask you why?” “Not often,” I said. “What about in public?” “Sometimes.” “What do you do about it?” “I let them check it.” Allie’s eyes widened. “You do? What do they say?” “Nothing,” I said. “We went to the Blazer game on Saturday and they had to check our bag and it was so humiliating when they saw the diaper.” “Did anyone else see it besides them?” I asked. “No.” “Good so no need to be embarrassed, they won’t see you again.” “How do you do it?” “Do what?” “Not care who sees your diaper?” “I don’t know. They will never see me again so why care?” “Wow.” I opened my backpack. I took out my Nintendo 64 games. “Wanna play?” Allie looked at them. “Which game do you want to play?” I asked. “I don’t care.” I picked up Kirby and put it in the game system. I turned the TV on and picked up controller 1. Allie sat down too and the screen showed and I went to multiplayer and picked the first mini game. We collected stuff falling out of the trees and we did all the levels and then we did the next mini game. We did all the levels and did the last one. Then we played Mario Party 2. We did Western Land and I picked Princess Peach. Allie picked Yoshi. “God my bladder is bursting.” said Allie. “So go and then change,” I said. While the computer characters were on their turn, Allie said, “I need to change now.” She paused the game. “Is it stinging?” I asked. “A little, I will be right back.” “Hey you want me to change you?” I asked. “That would be really weird,” said Allie. “Why?” I asked. “I don’t know, you will see me naked down there.” “So, we’re girls,” I said. “I think changing your diaper will be fun, does your mom change you?” “Yes and it’s humiliating, she does it every morning and I can’t say no, she says it’s part of the lesson.” “Mine changes me every school morning and she changed me today and it doesn’t bother me.” “Plus it’s hard putting on a diaper,” said Allie. “It’s never on tight enough when I do it.” “It takes practice,” I said. “My mom helped me with it this summer.” “Ow it’s stinging,” and Allie left the room. I followed her. Allie found her mother. She was in the kitchen making food. Jim was in there and so was Brian and Kate and Mom. Dad was sipping at a coke again. The TV was on in the living room with a basketball game. “Mom,” said Allie and she said something in her face. “Hold on, let me finish this first,” said Denise. “It’s hurting,” said Alllie “So air it out on the toilet and I will hand you one when I am finished.” Allie groaned. “It’s comes with the territory,” said Denise. “Denise, you aren’t going to leave your girl in a wet diaper are you, she said her bottom is stinging,” said Mom. Allie’s face turned beat red. “And you just humiliated her,” said Denise. “Sorry,” said Mom. “But how do you know?” “Her face,” Denise pointed. “Well tell me where you keep them so I can go get her one,” said Mom. Allie just ran out of the room. Dad got up and walked to Mom. “Anita, you really embarrassed her saying that out loud, my wife just doesn’t have a filter just like her mum. I’m so sorry.” “That’s Mom,” said Brian sighing. “I know honey,” said Kate. She patted his back. “I understand.” “I Keep them in my bedroom closet locked in the storage bin and I have a key to open it,” said Denise. “I keep the key under my bed where the floorboard is.” Mom left the kitchen. Dad followed after her. “Dad stay, you might make it worse for Allie,” said Brian. “I just have to make sure she finds them,” said Dad. “Dad?” Brian called. “Mom, you better do it,” said Kate. Denise put the knife down and she wiped her hands on the hand towel and left the kitchen. I left too looking for Allie. I called her name. I went upstairs calling her name. I heard Denise in the hallway and she told Mom and Dad she’s got it. Mom and Dad headed back downstairs. I called for Allie and I looked in the playroom and she wasn’t there, I looked in the computer room and I saw Amber and Jake. I looked for Allie again and I decided to look in her bedroom. I opened her door and there was Allie standing in her messy bedroom crying. I already knew why she was crying. Mom had done it. “My mom makes comments about my diapers too,” I said. “In front of everyone?” “Yes,” I said. “Oh my god, do you like it?” “I don’t care, they will never see me again and my Dad and Kelly and Matthew know I wear them.” “But what about other people you know?” Allie cried. “Yeah,” I said. “Does your mother even have a concept of the word privacy?” “Yes,” I said. “Then why did she say it out loud?” “She didn’t know it was going to embarrass you,” I said. “This is another reality of wearing diapers.” “You’re not even helping.” “Oh sorry.” “Why don’t you just tell her to not say it?” Allie asked. “I have and then she doesn’t say it when she should so she goes back to saying it again,” I said. “It goes back and forth.” Then the bedroom door opened and Denise brought in a diaper. “Here you go” and left. The diaper was tossed on the ground. Allie walked over to the diaper and picked it up. “I wanna change it,” I said. “Why?” “I like changing diapers, you are wearing them too just like me so I would love to do it.” “You’re weird.” “I will let you change mine,” I said. “Kelly once tried on one of my diapers when she was ten and I made her keep it on and I locked all the bathrooms in the house. I also used my Dad’s movie camera and took movies and I also made her drink a lot of juice so she will go but sadly she didn’t get to use the diaper and Mom and Dad came home and they got rid of the photos I took. I also wanted to change her diaper. Are you going to change?” I asked. “I’m waiting for you to leave,” said Allie. I had to make her comfortable so she would let me change her so I took my dress off. “See my diaper?” I pulled off my pantyhose and threw them on the floor. I paced around her room walking over stuff and I stuck my butt out at her. Then I turned around and turned back so she could see the bottom of my diaper. “Take your pants off,” I said. Allie sighed and she unbuttoned the top. She pulled them down slowly and there was her very wet diaper. She took her pants off. “Lay down on the bed,” I said. “Can you put a diaper on right?” she asked. “Yes,” I said. “I do it all the time.” Allie laid on her bed. I could see the wipes on her dresser so I took those and brought them to the bed. I put my hand on her wet diaper and pressed on it. “What are you doing?” Allie asked. “Seeing how wet it is,” I said. “Wanna feel mine?” Allie put her hand on my diaper. I started laughing. This made me all feel happy because I wasn’t alone in diapers. I felt her diaper again and we were both rubbing our diapers. “Okay, let me change you now,” I said. Allie laid back on her bed and her shirt was pulled up but her bra was still covered. I started to take off her diaper. Then we heard footsteps coming and then the door bursted open. There stood Mom and Denise. “What are you doing!” Mom asked. “What is going on here?” Denise shouted. I was confused. “Changing Allie’s diaper,” I said. Allie didn’t answer. “You are supposed to be wearing them as a punishment young lady, not doing this for pleasure,” Denise yelled as she marched over to Allie. “I was going to change her diaper,” I said. “Leave this room Natalie,” Mom ordered. I put my dress back on and picked up my pantyhose and walked out of the room. What was her problem? Dad was coming up the stairs. “What happened?” “Glen you will not believe what I just caught the girls trying to do,” said Mom in the hallway. “I saw Natalie was about to take Allie’s diaper off and she had her clothes off.” “Whoa just calm down, this is normal stuff,” said Dad. “They’re just adolescents discovering their sexuality. I am sure they are just curious.” “We need a talk with our girls,” said Denise. “What did I do wrong?” I cried. Dad took me aside and put his hand on my shoulder. “Are you becoming a lesbian?” he asked. He was also laughing. “What?” I asked. I was confused. “What you were just doing was very inappropriate,” said Dad. “Why?” I asked. “You’re both still young, you’re too young to be doing foreplay.” “No I was going to change her diaper,” I said. “That’s not appropriate,” said Dad. “Why?” “How old are you Natalie? How old is Allie?” “Thirteen,” I said. “And you’re fifteen. Changing diapers is a sexual thing.” “How?” I asked. “Mom does it all the time.” “That’s different, she is your mother.” I was still confused. “There was nothing sexual we were doing. I was only going to change her diaper.” “We’ll talk about it later, just go and have fun.” I went back to the playroom and waited for Allie. I started to read my book. Then Mom came in the playroom. She sat down next to me. “What were you and Allie doing when we came in her bedroom?” “Changing her diaper,” I said. “Is that all you two were doing?” Mom asked. “Yes,” I said. “Why were you going to change her diaper?” “Because I thought it will be fun. She is wearing them like I am and I wanted to see her wet diaper and see how wet it is on the inside.” “Allie said you forced her.” “No, I made it comfortable for her so she will let me do it” I said. “Natalie, no means no. That rule also applies to foreplay and other sexual acts. You don’t try to coerce them to say yes.” “But I made her comfortable and the reason why she was saying no was because she was not comfortable, she told me.” “No means no, you wouldn’t try and make a guy have sex if they said no and it would be wrong for a guy to try and make you have sex if you said no, what you did was very naughty. It’s sexual abuse.” I was shocked. I didn’t mean to be bad. “But all I did was I wanted to change a diaper, you change mine all the time.” “But I am your mother so it’s not sexual. You and Allie are both what how old? You’re too young to be doing it.” “Why is it sexual?” I asked. “I don’t know, it just is. I am telling you it’s naughty. We don’t allow Jason to change you, you’re both not allowed to have sex or touch each other down there or here,” she pointed to my chest. “You’re not allowed to be home alone together you can’t sleep at each other’s houses. Now we know we need to keep an eye on you two because you are at an age where you are curious and Allie is at an age too, the same rule applies to other girls, not just guys.” “But the school nurse and my teacher have both changed me,” I said. “That is okay, they both use gloves.” “So if I wore gloves, I could change Allie?” I asked. “No, it’s inappropriate.” “Why?” “Because it’s considered having sex.” “Why?” I asked. “Because it’s sexual.” “Why?” “It just is I don’t know why. You don’t need to change hers and if she needs help, she has her mom.” “But I don’t get it, why is it sexual if we both do it but it’s not sexual if you do it or my teacher or nurse even if they wear gloves but if I wear gloves and still changed Allie, it would still be sexual? I don’t get it.” “I know you don’t understand but it’s inappropriate. You’re too young for this stuff. We don’t want you wearing clothes that would show off your body and make guys stare at you, we don’t want you having sex, and we don’t want you doing any foreplay or any sexual acts and diaper changes are considered that.” “How come it’s not that when you do it or my teacher and nurse?” I asked. “Because I am your mother and it’s the nurse’s job to help people and your teacher helped you but Allie doesn’t have a medical condition. Maybe we over reacted because you were innocent but it was still wrong. If you two were both touching each other wrong it would still be inappropriate. You’re only fifteen and that is still too young.” “When am I old enough?” “Eighteen. I don’t think kids should be doing this.” “Why?” “I don’t think kids should be having sex and doing all this stuff,” said Mom. “I also don’t think they should be wearing provocative clothes or doing any foreplay or anything sexual.” “So Jason and I would have to wait until we are both eighteen to have him change my diaper and to have sex and do other stuff we’re not allowed to do yet,” I said. “Right,” said Mom. “Does that mean he would be allowed to stay at my house or me stay at his?” I asked. “I don’t know,” said Mom. “Didn’t Dad sleep with you when you were still a kid?” I asked. “Yes but I moved out when I was eighteen.” “So why did you do it but don’t want us doing it at seventeen?” I asked. “Because I really liked him and he was my best friend but we slept together but we didn’t have sex until I was nearly eighteen and he was helping me with my diapers.” “How did Grandma Del allow it if she didn’t want him around?” I asked. “I rebelled. I snuck out, argued, she could have put bars on the window and barricaded me in but she didn’t do that. She could have put on extra locks but she also didn’t do that.” “Why?” “I don’t know.” “How did Dad’s parents allow you to be at their house?” “They just did. He was an adult so what could they do? We would have just gone somewhere else.” “So if I really liked Jason, I can have sex with him and sleep with him and when we’re eighteen, you wouldn’t be able to do anything about it,” I said. “Does that mean I can still do it at seventeen because you did with Dad at that age?” “I don’t know,” said Mom. “I rebelled, are you going to rebel on us?” “I don’t know,” I said. “You do it sometimes when you don’t get your way. Leaving the mess in the tub for one and disobeying our rules and you’re not thinking of any consequence.” Then Allie walked back in the room. Mom got up and went downstairs. Allie didn’t look upset. “Did your mom also talk to you about what we were doing?” she asked. “Yes,” I said. “So did mine.” “What did she say?” “She explained the birds and the bees and what people do during foreplay. What did your mom say?” “She told me diaper changes are sexual and said I sexually abused you by making you say yes and she told me how kids should never wear provocative clothing and do any sexual acts or foreplays or having sex and sleeping at each other’s houses and we have to be eighteen to do that.” “All that stuff was sick my mom told me,” said Allie. “I don’t want sex, ewwww.” “I don’t want any babies so no sex for me,” I said. “I want to have kids someday but not right now.” “Me too. What stuff did your mom tell you what people do in foreplay?” “She said men will twist the woman’s nipple and suck on them, she also said how the woman will squeeze the man’s penis and stroke it and she said they will sometimes say dirty things to each other.” “Ewwwww,” I said. “Did she also say they will suck on their penises?” “No,” said Allie. “My mom also said us doing diaper changes was foreplay and we were doing a sexual act.” “I still don’t get how it’s sexual if my mom changes me and school nurses change diapers and my teacher had to change me when I was sick in the health room. Has anyone else changed your diaper?” “Only my mom, I don’t want the school nurse to do it but it’s so hard to put on a diaper and I hate having to pee in them at school so I hold it. I would rather wear them when I want to. How do you do it?” “I have a changing schedule and I wear a good diaper that won’t leak and I do it in the private bathroom and I take odor remover pills so I won’t stink when I poop.” “How do you clean up poop?” “I use a bunch of paper towel and get them wet and wipe it all off my bottom and I sit on the toilet and change and I wipe my butt. I also take off my pants and shoes. At home I just wash it off in the tub so I am not wasting anything.” “My mom gives me fiber to help me poop in my diapers. I never thought it would be so hard to do it.” “Why?” “When I have to go, it’s like it won’t come out and even pushing won’t do and it’s like the diaper holds it all in.” “That makes no sense,” I said. “How can it hold it in? Mine just comes out but when I sit it seems to hold it back but it still comes out but at a slower pace.” “I don’t know. So my mom gave me fiber to make it softer so it will come out easier and it sucks having to do it in the diaper instead of in the toilet even though it’s sitting right next to me.” Allie and I were back to playing Mario Party 2. Allie just kept moving her body around and shifting her legs like she always does. She never sits still. She will sometimes make sounds with her mouth and lips and tongue. “So what’s it like pooping in a diaper for you?” she asked. I had to figure out a way to answer it. “Uh, it just comes out and I can feel it in the diaper and the poop spreading and it’s squishy and soft and it goes all over down here,” I pointed to my crotch. “And the poop goes up the back of my diaper.” “Mine is only in a ball,” said Allie. “It’s a pain having to poop in them because it’s so hard and I have to loosen the diaper so it will come out and I have sat doing it on the toilet so it will come out.” “That must suck,” I said.” “It does and my mom asked me “Whose fault is it?” after I told her.” “What are you going to do when your punishment is up?” I asked. “Will you still wear them.” “I don’t know.” “You better not steal mine again or I will have it happen to you again but ask to make it longer so you will suffer more,” I said. “I don’t think my mom would do that.” “She extended your punishment by a week,” I pointed out. “I know but I don’t think she would keep me in them longer next time.” “At least you only have a few more days to go,” I said. “Yeah and I wouldn’t have to wear them to school anymore.” A mini game came on and it selected Move to the Music. Allie and I were both on the same team. Wario danced and it showed us the buttons. I remembered them all and then I pushed the right buttons and everyone was out. I was the only one left. Wario danced again and then I had to push all the buttons in order he used and we won. Allie cheered and swayed her body. “Woo woo wooo,” she said.
We kept playing and Allie got frustrated at the game. She hated losing, she hated Day at the Races. She was winning and then her character she picked choked and it made her come in third and she was not happy about it. She didn’t get her coins back Goomba took. I was happy I came in second because I got some of my coins back. I also hated battle because they take your coins, it can be 10 coins all the way to forty coins. We even played Shy Guy Says and Allie and I were the last ones to remain in the game and Shy Guy went faster and faster and then he held up both flags and lifted the white one down and then raised the red one down and lifted the white one back up and I hit the A button but Allie had raised the wrong one. “What? I raised the right one but it made me lift the other one,” she shouted. Shy Guy took out his arrow and shot her balloon and Yoshi fell down to the ground. “It’s just a game,” I said. Here I was telling her it was just a game because I didn’t like seeing her getting upset with the game. I always got upset with losing and here I was telling her to stop. It was so stupid to get upset with games just because you are not winning. I always got upset in Mario Party because you lose coins when you lose a mini game so I liked this game better because they don’t take your coins but I sure hate battle and bank deposits. Then another mini game we played was Toad in the Box and Allie was doing good until she got to number four and she only needed one more Toad to win. Allie kept hitting the box and kept getting Baby Bowser. “Hey,” Allie yelled. She kept hitting the box and she got Bowser again. Allie kept moaning and grunting and shaking the controller. I just stayed calm trying to get Toad. I hit the box and would get Chomp or a Piranha plant or Baby Bowser. “Ughhh,” said Allie again. I got Toad finally and won the game. Allie just tossed her controlled on the floor. She got up and walked away. “Where are you going?” I asked. “I don’t know.” “Are you still playing?” I asked. “No.” After the results screen, I paused the game and turned Yoshi into a COM. I played the rest of the board by myself and I won as the super star. I played another game board and this time I did more turns. While I played, my name was called by Brain. He came up the stairs and told me they had food ready and to come down and eat. I paused the game and went down the stairs. I walked to the kitchen and everyone was going to be eating in the dining room. Food was on the table and the table had been set and I could tell everyone had been cooking in the kitchen. Sam was already downstairs and so was Amber, and Jake. Mom came in carrying a bowl of peas. “Where do I set this?” Mom asked. “On the table,” said Brian. “But where?” “Anywhere you want it.” Mom just set it down where she was standing. Denise came in carrying sweet potatoes. Dad brought in the stuffing and set it down. After all the food had been put on the table, I sat down and started to serve myself. “Natalie, you are sitting over here,” Dad showed me. I had to pick up my plate and move it and Dad moved the clean plate back to the other spot where I was sitting. The kids were at one end of the table and the adults were on the other end. Allie was sitting on the opposite side of me. Kelly sat right by me. Matthew was sitting next to Jake and Amber was sitting next to me and Sam was sitting next to Allie. Everyone was putting food on their plates and I put some on mine. Denise got up and came back in with the ham serving everyone it and she put a piece on my plate. “I don’t want any,” said Matthew when she got to him. Denise skipped him. Kate was holding the plate of turkey and she was also serving it and I skipped it. Jim opened the sparkling cider and steam popped out of the top. He opened all of them. After I put food on my plate, I started to eat. All the grown-ups talked and Amber and Jake were talking together and then Allie was talking to them. I poured some sparkling cider in my wine cup. Soon Mom started talking. “Oh no,” said Kelly and she put her hand on her forehead and looked down. Mom talked more and she went on and on and then she started to talk about some details in a book she read about a man being slaughtered to death. “That is gross,” said Amber. “Great, I can’t get this gruesome image out of my head now,” said Allie. “Your mom is something.” Kelly got up and left the table. “Mom,” said Brian. “Mom!” Mom!” “Hey I am talking here, that is very rude to interrupt,” Mom shouted. “Now where was I? Darn I lost my spot, now I have to start over.” “Anita, let other people talk, you have been talking for the last ten minutes,” said Dad. “Let’s change the subject,” said Denise. “Talking about that book was a bad idea.” “You were right Brian, she doesn’t shut up once you mention one of her interests,” said Kate. I kept on eating and I got full and I had the rest of my sparkling cider. I noticed Mom was not at the table anymore. I was done eating so I got up and left. I found Mom sitting at the table in the nook as I was heading back up the stairs. “Why are you sitting there, Mom?” I asked. “Huh?” she asked. “Why are you sitting in here instead of in the dining room?” “It got too loud so I needed a break,” she said. “Oh,” I said. I went back upstairs to my game. While I played, I started to poop in my diaper. Luckily I was the only one in here so I didn’t worry about the smell and I took odor pills so it didn’t matter. I also felt my diaper getting wetter. I felt for leaks and didn’t feel any. I played a few more rounds and paused the game. I picked up my backpack. I went to the bathroom with it and locked the door this time. First time here I forgot so Allie barged in and saw me getting changed and she made fun of me for it and was mean to me about it. Now all of a sudden she wanted to wear diapers so she was stealing mine from school. Sometimes I don’t understand why anyone would want to wear diapers but I think it would be nice if everyone wore them. I imagined a world where everyone wore diapers. Instead of restrooms, we have changing rooms and instead of toilets in stalls, it’s changing tables with underpads, and we would still have a baby changing station and sinks and each stall would have their own trash can. Then I wouldn’t have to feel embarrassed about wearing them anymore and being found out. Someday I would be dating and I would have to tell the guy I wear diapers and right now I have Jason as my boyfriend but he doesn’t know about my diapers. I took my pantyhose off and my dress and I got changed. I put rash cream on and wiped my finger with one of my wipes and I put the clean diaper on and I took another one of my odor remover pills. I saw I had left my dirty diaper on the floor so I picked it up and rolled it in a ball. I remembered what Denise had told me about leaving my used diaper in the trash, she wanted it thrown in the garage in the trash can. I got dressed again and left the bathroom. I carried my used diaper in my hands without bothering trying to hide it. Everyone in this house already knew I wore them. I went downstairs through the rec room and went out in the garage. I threw the diaper away in one of the trash cans. Then I went back to my game. I played video games for the rest of the day and Allie joined me again. Even Jake and Amber had come in the rec room and played. Jake ran all over and Amber was throwing a beanie baby. Kelly was in the computer room. Everyone else was downstairs. “Man I gotta pee again,” said Allie. “So go,” I said. “I can’t, I have a rash.” “Go and then get changed,” I said. “I have a question; do you stay in the same diaper after you have an accident?” “Yes,” I said. “Even messy ones?” “Yes.” “But you get rashes.” “So.” “Doesn’t it bother you?” “I use rash cream so I won’t get any and you have to use it all the time and put some on each change.” “But mine still hurts even after I had put on rash cream.” “You have to put it on before the rash starts,” I said. “That is why you apply it each diaper change.” Allie didn’t even get up so we kept on playing. She still squirmed in her spot. “Why do you always move your body?” I asked. “I don’t know, why do you rock back and forth?” “I don’t know,” I said. “It feels good.” “Well when I have to sit still, I just can’t. I have to be on the move, it helps me focus.” “Why?” “It just does and I have to pee so I can’t sit still.” “Then go and then get changed again,” I said again. “This is going to sting again and face another embarrassment. Your mom is something. Is it true she has no filters? That is what Brian said.” “Filters?” I asked. “She doesn’t know what not to say so she says things she should keep to herself,” Allie explained. “Yes,” I said. “How often does she make comments about your diapers?” “I don’t know, a lot.” “Wow.” “You also have to be careful what you tell her because if you tell her at the wrong time, she might start talking about it at the wrong time,” I said. “Has she lost her marbles?” “What marbles?” I asked. “It’s a figure of speech, it just means is she not all there, what is wrong with her? Why does she do it?” “I don’t know,” I said. We kept playing and then we finished playing Mario Party 2 and I put in Kirby 64. Allie and I played mini games. Amber and Jake were out of the room already. They had left a while ago while Allie and I were still playing. “What other weird things does your mom do?” Allie asked. “She wears clothes that are different because they are not the same as everyone else’s,” I said. “What do her clothes look like?” “They are store bought but they are just worn or not in style, you see them on her.” Allie asked me more questions about my mother because she wanted to see how weird she was. “She also wears ear plugs and she thinks everything is too loud and she has tantrums and she hits her head sometimes and she hates sun light in her room when she is sleeping and she doesn’t wear makeup,” I said. I didn’t tell Allie about Mom attacking Dad and him having to restrain her because he told me I am to never tell anyone about it because it’s no one’s business and it stays inside the home and he didn’t want anyone thinking there was domestic abuse going on in the home and us kids get taken and if I don’t want to be in foster care where I won’t have my Nintendo and computer, do not tell anyone. “Your mom really is strange,” said Allie. “Kelly hates her,” I said. “I bet, she is weird.” “You hate her?” I asked. “She’s not my mom.” “I know but do you hate her too?” “No because she isn’t my mom.” “Would you hate her if she were your mother?” I asked. “Maybe if she was always humiliating me and shaming me and giving me graphic images like she did at the table. She seemed so normal at first but now she is weird.” “At least you don’t think she is retarded.” “Why?” “That is what the other kids in my neighborhood think.” “Wow really?” “Yes I’m serious.” “Is it true that your Dad is weird too?” “Maybe.” I had no idea what Allie meant by weird so I said maybe. “Did your dad really get mad at you guys for not cleaning out the litter box so he had to call your sister on the phone to scream at her to clean it because he couldn’t wait until he got home?” Allie asked. “Yes,” I said. “Who is telling you all these things?” “Kelly and Matthew told us.” Allie asked me more questions about my family and about Brian moving out. Then she asked me about what it was like hearing him and Mom fighting all the time. I told her he mostly worked and went to school so he was barely even around. Then he would stay with friends often but I mostly played his Nintendo 64 in his room and so did Kelly and Matthew. We would even rent games for it too. When he was in high school he also worked and he would ride his bike to town on nice days but my mother would take him to work on nasty days. But he would mostly spend his time at his friends’ houses while in high school too and he would take us out. Then Allie asked me about details of the fighting they would do. “They would just argue,” I said. “I don’t know. I’ve heard my mom say things to him like “quit being an idiot” and him accusing her of not caring about him and saying she never gets anyone else’s side. Now Kelly is fighting with her now. She got mad at her on her birthday because my mom made a cake instead of buying her one and she got her a gift card instead of a present and she got mad at her for letting her get mad at her because she thought she forgot about her birthday.” “What did she get for her birthday?” Allie asked. “Gift card and a check.” “How much money” “Twenty bucks total.” “That sucks. I would be mad too if that was my birthday.” “At least you would get to pick something out at the store,” I said. “But it’s not the same. I would suck if I only gotten ten bucks.” Then Allie paused the game and got up. “Where are you going?” I asked. “To change.” “You peed?” “What do you think? Would I even be getting up?” “Is it hurting?” “Yes, that is why I gotta do it now.” Allie left the room and I went back to reading.
Allie came back later and she didn’t look happy. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “I can’t wait for this to end. Ugh. My mother was too busy again to change me so your mother offered to do it and then she was saying she changed you all the time and she said it in front of everyone. But she had been drinking a little bit too with the rest of the grown-ups so I hope that was the beer than her.” “Did she change you?” I asked. Allie didn’t answer. “Did she?” I asked. I shook her to get her to answer. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she shouted. I wondered what my mom had done to Allie during her diaper change. I imagined she changed her the same way she changed me. I couldn’t wait to ask Mom.
When it got time to leave, Matthew came in the room and told me. I couldn’t believe I spent all this time playing video games when I could have done it at home but oh well. I packed up all my games and controller and put them in my backpack with my diapers and other stuff. I went downstairs. “Doesn’t Mom have to wait an hour for all her beers she drank?” I asked. “She didn’t have that many and it’s all worn off,” said Dad. I got my shoes on and got my coat. Everyone else was taking too long to get ready but Mom was ready. Brian and Dad were talking. I waited in the car and Mom waited too. “Mom, did you change Allie?” I asked. “No.” “She acted like you did,” I said. “Oh no. What was she doing?” “She didn’t want to talk about it, she said her mom was too busy to change her so you offered and she wouldn’t talk about it,” I said. “I didn’t change her but I did offer and Allie got upset and started to have a tantrum and then her mom yelled at her in front of everyone so I told her to change her daughter I didn’t leave you in your wet diapers. But I am so glad this isn’t forever.” “Did she change her?” “Yes finally.” “Allie said you told everyone you change me all the time.” “I did,” said Mom. “I did most of the diaper changes around the house for all you kids and I still change yours.” Then everyone else came out. Brian waved bye to everyone and he shut the door with Kate.
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Post by Bad Beth on Mar 19, 2017 8:09:18 GMT
Chapter 14
We arrived home and Mom let Whimper out again and took him outside in the backyard. I watched the rest of GoldenEye in the den. I took out the games and controller from my backpack and put them on the counter. When the movie ended, I changed my diaper again. I went back in the den and played more of the Nintendo 64. I played The World is Not Enough. The graphics were a lot better than the ones on GoldenEye. I played the game and then when I was done, I played multiplayer. Then Dad came in the room. He opened the door and said “You better get to bed honey, it’s midnight.” I kept playing and Dad shut the door. Then I heard “Hey, where’s the doggy?” Dad called. I kept playing and when I got tired, I turned the game off and left the den. Whimper was back in Skippy’s old cage again. He whimpered just a little bit. I went upstairs and got my pajamas on. I went right to bed.
I woke up the next morning in a very soaked diaper. I got out of bed and got out a clean diaper. I was running low on them. I would have to let Mom know so she would tell Grandma Del who buys them for us. I got changed quickly and left my wet diaper on the floor and went back to bed to sleep some more. I slept a little more and then I woke up again. I stayed in bed and I could hear my family being up because I heard the door open and footsteps coming out of Mom and Dad’s bedroom. They went downstairs. I could tell it was only one person. I kept resting and then the master bedroom door opened again and more footsteps came out and they went down the stairs. Then soon I heard Matthew waking up and he went downstairs. Then Kelly was up because I heard her door open. Then I could hear talking downstairs and the TV on. I looked at the time and saw it was nine o’ eight. I kept resting and I kept holding my Teletubby. I ran my finger along the wall feeling the sheetrock. I tapped on it hearing the sound. Then I decided to get out of bed. I played some video games again in my room. Then I went downstairs and I had breakfast. Mom was holding Whimper again. “Mom, we need to let Grandma Del know I need more diapers,” I said. But she didn’t answer so I said it again. Dad got her attention and said “You need to let your Mum know she is running low on diapers.” “Okay,” she said. I finished my breakfast and put my bowl in the sink. I played Goldeneye again. I did the Bunker level and I was shooting bad guys and destroying the cameras. When I needed a clean diaper again, I got changed and dressed this time and went back to playing my game.
Then Matthew came in the room saying “Natalie, Skippy took off again, he is going up the street, let’s follow him.” “Why?” I asked. “To see where he is going.” I paused the game and left and I grabbed my shoes and coat and slipped them on while Matthew put his on and left his heals hanging out of the back. “Mom we’re going to get Skippy, he took off again,” Matthew called. We ran outside and I saw him up the street so we followed. I ran and so did Matthew. Skippy turned onto another block and we followed. But he was running so fast we lost him so we went back home and this time Matthew got Whimper and he had him smell Skippy’s doggy bed and said “Do you recognize this smell, I want you to follow it.” I put a leash on him and we left again but we made sure Mom knew we were taking him for a walk. We left again and we let Whimper sniff the ground as he led us. Then Matthew decided to fix his shoes so he did and he fastened them. Whimper kept walking leading us the way and then we were at the end of the neighborhood where it ends and goes back around again and there were these two fences that led out of the neighborhood. Then we were in the field and we kept on walking. Then we were in the forest where we got our tree We made it to the creek and we crossed the bridge that went over it. We saw another bridge and crossed it too and we kept walking through the forest. Soon we made it to the road. We walked along side of it with Whimper sniffing the ground. “It’s good we have this dog after all,” I said. We walked a little ways down the road and a few cars drove by us. Then we saw a few houses and some big building with a fence around it. It looked like some construction place. We walked by a home and Whimper kept sniffing and then there was another house next door and it was white. It was an old house from my parents childhood days and I could tell it had another floor than just one and Whimper walked on the property. “Is this where Skippy is?” Matthew asked. Whimper started sniffing at the chained fence that led to the backyard. I saw the gate and opened it and walked in the yard and I called for Skippy. I knew I was on private property. Matthew followed behind me with Whimper and he went towards the house. I saw the doggy door in the back and Whimper sniffed at it. Matthew squatted down and peeked his head in the floor and said “I see him.” “What is he doing?” I asked. “I see another dog, a yellow one,” said Matthew. “Let me see,” I said. I peeked my head in there and I saw two Yellow Labs. “I think Skippy’s got himself a girlfriend, no wonder he’s been taking off,” I said. I think the Yellow Lab was just in heat and Skippy had picked up on it all the way from our house so he was here. “Skippy,” I called. He came towards me and I grabbed his collar but he pulled away before I could grab it. “He doesn’t want to leave,” I said. “He will come home. Let’s go home.” I got up. “But he might get grabbed by animal control, we need to make him come,” said Matthew. I couldn’t leave without him. Matthew climbed through the door and he was in the garage. I waited for him. I heard Matthew calling his name. I folded my arms. Then I started to pace. This will help burn some extra calories. “Skippy,” Matthew yelled. “Come on.” Then he came out of the doggy door but I realized it wasn’t him. I could tell by the shape and her collar and the fact her balls were missing it was their dog. Then Skippy came out too and ran in the yard with her and they were both playing with each other. Matthew came outside. “I think they’re in love,” he said. “I think she is just in heat,” I said. I looked at the female’s butt but I didn’t see any blood. “There’s no blood I think she’s his girlfriend,” said Matthew. Skippy and the female dog ran around the yard and were chasing each other. What if dogs really can fall in love like humans? I remember seeing Princess being with a male cat but once we got her spade, the male cat quit hanging around. He was just a tan cat with some white on him. I felt sorry for Princess because we got her spade and she was not able to have any children but Mom and Dad didn’t want any extra kittens around and what if no one wanted them? They would be put to sleep and they don’t want that to happen and they didn’t want all these extra cats. They also did the same with Mittens too. But we never got Skippy fixed because he is pure bred and pure bred dogs are worth money. Good thing he wasn’t female or else we would be getting all these strange dogs at our house like we used to with cats. Having a male dog is easier than having a female dog except they mark their territory. Skippy only does it outside. I felt pressure building up in my anus all of a sudden and then poop poured into my diaper. I felt it expand and it was very soft and it felt like a big one. I felt a big lump in the middle. The wind was blowing a little and then Matthew said “Did you just poop Natalie?” “Yes,” I said. “We gotta go so I can change.” Matthew chased after Skippy and tried to grab him. “Matthew, come on, he will come home like he did before,” I said. “I don’t want animal control to see him.” “He runs through the field and forest, they’re not going to see him.” “They will when he goes on the road,” Matthew pointed out. “Hold this,” I said handing him the leash. I went up to Skippy and I grabbed his collar and tugged at it. He wouldn’t come so I pulled harder and Skippy kept his body still and wouldn’t move it. Then Matthew grabbed it too and also pulled and it was very hard pulling him across the ground. Then I tried picking him up and so did Matthew but he was so heavy there was no way we would be able to carry him that far. “Well I’m going home, you know the way,” I said. I walked away with Whimper. I left the yard and walked back on the road staying to the side. I ran to get home quicker but I got tired so I just walked fast. Then I went in the grass and into the woods. I went back across the bridge and then I was in the field again and I went back in our neighborhood and I went back home. I took off my stuff and put it away and put Whimper in Skippy’s cage and I went up to my room and got changed into clean clothes but I also changed my diaper too in the bathroom. I put my dirty clothes in the laundry basket. “Where did you go?” Dad asked me. “You didn’t tell us where you were going.” “Looking for Skippy,” I said. “He found a girlfriend.” “Oh female dog in heat,” said Dad. “Where’s Matthew? Have you seen him? We have been looking for him all day and he isn’t here.” “With Skippy,” I said. “Where are they?” “At some white house over there,” I pointed at the direction. “What white house?” “It’s on the other side of the creek and it’s on the side of the road.” “Okay, Anita, you gotta take me,” Dad told her. I was back in the den and Dad called me and said I would have to come with them to show them the house. I got my shoes back on and coat and went in the car and Mom drove us. I had to led the way by telling her where to go and I just followed the direction the house is. When we got to the junction I pointed to the left and Mom turned that way. We got to another junction and I pointed left again and Mom turned. We came to another one and I pointed left again saying ‘go left.’ Good thing I am good with directions. I hear some people are not. Mom kept driving and I told her the house would be on the right and there will not be any forests around since it’s out in the open. Mom kept going and then I saw fields but there were still trees and then we passed the house so I pointed to it and said we passed it. Mom pulled to the side of the road and turned it around and drove slower in the other lane. We drove back and Mom pulled into the driveway. “I don’t see Matthew,” she said. “He’s in the back.” “Stay here guys,” said Dad taking off his seatbelt. He went up to the door. “No one’s home,” I said. Dad rang the doorbell and knocked and he waited. Then he walked back to the car. “No one is here.” “Go in the backyard,” I said. Dad closed the car door and tried to figure out how to get in the backyard. The gate is down there, I thought. Dad walked around and then he was looking at the fence and he went through the gate. We waited and I was bored. I kept looking at the house and at the fence and the windows on the garage. I wondered if the people were going to come home and wonder why we are on their driveway. Then I saw Dad coming back and he said, “Natalie I will need your help.” “Why do I have to do it?’ I asked. “Why can’t Mom?” “Just do it,” said Dad. I groaned. I was going to get dirty again. I zipped up my coat to keep my clothes from getting dirty. I got out of the car and went in the backyard. Matthew had opened the door to the garage and we went inside and Dad told me to help him carry Skippy to the car. Dad held one side of him and I grabbed his back side and we started to carry him out. Skippy tried to break loose but I held onto his legs tight while Dad was shouting at him to stop. Skippy kept wriggling and squirming while we carried him and Skippy accidentally scratched Dad’s face by trying to get free and Dad started cussing in British. “Matthew go get your mother and tell her we need her help,” said Dad. I held onto Skippy while Dad was wiping his face. I saw a scratch mark. Mom came in the garage with Matthew and Dad told her we need her help getting Skippy to the car and he is fighting it. Matthew and I grabbed the back of Skippy while Mom held Skippy’s legs and Dad held Skippy’s head. We carried him out and the female dog watched us. None of us were able to shut the door. We carried him to the car and we set him down and Mom opened the sliding door and we pushed him inside but he kept trying to get out so I went in and held him and Mom closed the sliding door. Dad opened the passenger door and Matthew climbed in and Mom got in on the driver’s side while Dad went back to shut the door and the gate. Skippy started to whimper as we left. The female dog watched us leave and she seemed to have a sad look on her face. She was not wagging her tale and she was not panting, she was just sitting there still on the ground looking at us. Skippy growled as he looked at her and barked and whimpered. “Dad Skippy is very sad because you wouldn’t let him be with his girlfriend,” said Matthew. “Dogs do not fall in love like we do, that dog is just in heat and Skippy is a male dog so he will run off and be with any female dog and once the dog is over their heat, the male dogs leave them alone. That is just how animals operate. They don’t think like humans, they don’t have thoughts,” Dad explained. “But he’s sad,” said Matthew. “It’s a dog.” “That other dog is pure bred so maybe we can make some money,” said Mom. “We don’t even know if they want puppies,” said Dad. “He will just go back when we get home,” said Matthew. “Oh no he won’t because we will keep him inside and also keep him tied up in our backyard,” said Dad. We went home and we pulled into our garage and Mom shut the garage door after we pulled in. We got out of the car and Skippy waited by the laundry room door. Matthew opened it and Skippy ran inside. He went to his doggy bed only for Dad to curse again. He went in the laundry room and I saw him go outside with Kelly standing there with the door open. Dad yelled after Skippy and then he came back inside cussing. “Why did you leave the door open?” Dad yelled at Kelly. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I was looking for something outside.” “Why didn’t you grab Skippy?” “He was too quick.” “Why didn’t you run after him?” Kelly didn’t answer. “Well at least we know where he goes now,” I said. “I am not going after that damn dog again,” said Dad. Matthew started to go outside but Dad ordered him to stay here. “Why?” he cried. “I do not want you leaving the neighborhood again. You know you are not supposed to leave it and the road is very dangerous and there are coyotes out there. It’s almost dark and I don’t want you to get lost in the dark or get hit by a car.” I had something to eat and Mom was making dinner again. I went back to what I was doing in the den. Matthew and Dad were fighting about Skippy. Then I could hear Dad saying “Your mum is trying to cook.” Then Matthew was screaming. He always does that when he doesn’t get his way or doesn’t like something that happens. Dad came in the Den after Matthew was done with his fit. “Natalie, we need to talk,” said Dad. “Pause the game.” I paused it and waited for him to talk. “Are you listening, look at me,” said Dad. I looked at him and his whole body and the whole room. Dad started to talk. “You broke one of our rules, you know you are supposed to tell us where you are going and not just leave this house.” “But Dad Matthew wanted me to follow Skippy with him,” I said. “If he told you he wanted you to jump off the roof with him, would you do it?” Dad asked. “No,” I said. “Okay so what punishment do you think would fit the crime?” I hate it when the adults make you pick a punishment, why do they do it? One time I picked lunch detention in school when I was in the eighth grade because it was an easy punishment and it kept me away from the other kids and the noise and trying to pick a table. “I don’t know,” I said. “Just think, what do you think would fit the crime, you did leave the house without telling us where you were going.” “There wouldn’t have been time to tell you because we would have then lost Skippy,” I said. “Natalie, I don’t want to hear any excuses. What punishment do you think you should have?” I didn’t want to lose TV and video games, I didn’t want to lose computer. What would be the easiest punishment for me? I thought of all the punishments I had gotten over the years, spankings; losing my bike, being grounded to my room, not being allowed to leave the yard, losing my dolls to play with, no dessert. But I felt too nervous picking one of these because what if Dad knew what I was doing and didn’t like my own choice of punishment? “I should get a spanking,” I said. I wanted to see what he would say. “No Natalie you are far too old for spankings,” said Dad. “No riding my bike,” I said. “Do you think that fits the crime?” I sensed he didn’t like that punishment because he had to ask. “No leaving the yard,” I said. “Why do you think that fits the crime?” “Because I left without telling you guys,” I said. “So it does fit the crime, good. So you will not be allowed to leave the yard until Friday unless you leave the house with us. “ Dad got up and left the den. I went back to my game. I didn’t care about not leaving the yard. I wouldn’t be able to walk Skippy then and having to be in the rain and I was glad and I wouldn’t be able to go for a walk either but it was only until Friday. Silly grownups, making kids pick their own punishments when they can just pick the easiest one or ones they don’t care about. I will just find other ways to burn extra calories. I wonder what punishment Matthew will pick.
Dad called everyone to dinner when it was done cooking. I went to the table and sat down. Kelly sat down too and so did Mom. It was already dark out and Matthew didn’t even come down. “So what’s Matthew’s punishment?” I asked. “He picked video games because he thought it would fit the crime,” said Mom. “This is so stupid, why let kids pick their own punishments when we can just pick the easiest ones or ones that don’t matter to us?” said Kelly. “My teacher wanted to give me a punishment so I picked in school suspension because I can still get my work done and it was very quiet.” “When did you get that punishment?” I asked. “A week before my birthday, I told the teacher to hush because she was annoying me.” “How was she annoying you?” Mom asked. “I was trying to do my assignment and she wouldn’t quit talking to me so why do you think I picked in school suspension, no teachers to bother me when I am trying to work.” “Well your father wanted to do it,” said Mom. “I told him this was stupid too and I also picked the easiest punishments when I was a kid. I would pick the ones I thought weren’t even a punishment but my mom was too smart for that so she would sometimes make me pick a tougher one.” “What did you pick Natalie?” Kelly asked. “I can’t leave the yard until Friday,” I said. “She still gets to play video games and watch TV and be on the computer and she won’t even have to walk Skippy anymore.” “Smart girl,” said Mom. “I can’t go for walks to burn calories,” I said. “You don’t need to lose any more weight, you’re skinny now,” said Mom. “I want to be 115,” I said. “No Natalie or you will be unhealthy.” Since last year I had been working on losing weight and I lost twenty pounds and then my weight quit dropping. I still wear the same sized diapers. I still feel fat whenever I see skinnier girls or see someone weighing less than me or when I see bodies in the Teen magazine. “Yeah that’s totally not a punishment because you look good,” said Kelly. I showed her my fat I still had on my arms and tummy and legs. “That’s just skin,” said Mom. “It’s not fat.” Then Dad came down. “We’ll just let him stay up there and we’ll all eat,” he said. He sat down and we started to eat. After I got done eating, I put my bowl in the sink and my spoon and sat back down. I thought about Skippy and his “girlfriend” and I imagined them actually being in love and that animals can fall in love in real life like in movies. I folded my arms and tapped my foot while I sat back in my chair. Then Mom told me I was excused from the table. “Yes,” I said as I got up. I went back to the den and played Mario Party 2. Skippy did come home that night because he barked again and we let him inside. I took my shower and put on a clean diaper and played video games until I got tired and went to bed.
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