Visit from Lisa May

I love April Fools day, it’s one of my favorite days of the year because I love to play practical jokes online. I didn’t play any on Daddy this year because I didn’t have any good ones to play. A couple years ago I did put a fake virus on his computer and I thought he would find it funny but instead it got upset when he thought his computer had been infected because it had all his work on it and he needed that computer for work and then he was upset when he saw it was only a joke. But he forgave me knowing I only did it as a joke and I didn’t do it to be mean because I thought it would make him laugh. It was only a file I did.
I had just played one again this year online but this time they were about giving my son away like he is a dog because it was a parody of people giving away their pets. Sadly that was the only joke I played because I couldn’t think of any good ones this year.
I was no longer working because when I returned to work after maternity leave, the whole area got attacked by terrorists and they planted bombs in the underground station and in the tallest building there and some other buildings there and they all exploded and they knocked out walls and stuff and people in them pretty much died including in the underground and it happened at 6:10 at night. So I had missed it by ten minutes. I still haven’t start looking for a job yet because I am waiting to hear back from my company for a new job if they find an opening. The damage was still being cleaned up I know and I had been following it and it’s still a mess. Thousands of Londoners have lost their jobs. None of them were there when it happened and the ones who were were all dead including the people who were at the station when it went off. I still don’t understand why they did it. Plus Daddy says I don’t have to work so I am not in a rush to get one. I just do chores around the house to avoid feeling like a burden.

I was reading online again while Tristian was on the floor playing when I saw a Facebook message from my cousin whom I have never even met. Her name is Lisa and she is my mum’s half niece she has never even met. I have her as Facebook friends and she found me a year ago. I read her message and it said:

“I am going to be in London from 4/12 to 5/19 for school to learn about your British culture. I am so excited and I hope I will get to meet you.”

I wrote back saying “Cool. I hope to meet you too and maybe you can come to my house and visit and maybe you can come for Easter. It will be so great meeting you and my step son and my son and my cousin and her kids and my husband. Maybe you will meet my dad too and my half brother.”
I sent it and went back to reading on Facebook for anything interesting to read. I was in the Post Trump Traumatic Support Group. I find the name hilarious and it’s for people who have anxiety about Trump being president and the changes he wants to make and they all post anti Trump articles or pictures with words in them that are about him, one of those internet memes people do online and people will also post their comments so one time I saw someone posting if they have ever dumped anyone for being a Trump supporter and another question I saw was if anyone sees any Trump supporters as being Nazis. People are now wanting to impeach Trump so there have been articles about it. I don’t even know if it’s going to happen. I am so glad to not be living in America anymore so I feel it’s not my problem anymore and I don’t have to worry about healthcare or anything else. It would be horrible to be a student there from overseas or an immigrant or if you were adopted and it turned out your adoptive parents never applied for a US citizenship for you. Luckily for me I am already a British citizen thanks to my dad being born here and being married when I was born. The whole entire side of my dad’s family are UK citizens and are all British. But my son Alex was not a British citizen so I had to apply for him to come here. If I were born here, I would have been able to pass it on down to him.


I enjoyed the rest of the week being unemployed and not worrying about finding a new job and taking care of Tristian and keeping the house clean and using my computer. Daddy came home and he was carrying a big bag that said GAME on it.
“What did you get?” I asked.
“Come look,” he said.
I looked in the bag and it was a Nintendo Switch. I was surprised he even got it after I had said I didn’t want one. The kind he had gotten me were gray controllers instead of the two tone where one was red and one was blue.
“That is why I got home late because I had to stop and pick this up,” said Daddy.
“Why did you get it?” I asked.
“Because I know you would like it.”
“But how did you get it, did you have it reserved?”
“I just stopped in to see if they had one and they did.”
Haley and Alexis looked at it.
“I wanna play it,” said Haley.
“Look in the bag again,” said Daddy.
I looked in the bag and there was The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild.
“The kids want to play it so you should help them set it up,” said Daddy.
“I will later,” I said.
I put the game down and went back to my computer.
“I want to play it, can you help set it up?” Alexis asked Daddy.
“Natalia, I am going to set this up for you since you’re not going to do it,” he said.
“Okay,” was all I said.
Daddy opened the box and took out the system. He started to hook it up. After he hooked it up, he had to then set it up. He had to pick our language and region and time zone and connect it to the internet and he also had to connect it to the TV. Then he had to select an icon.
“Natalia, pick what icon you want,” said Daddy.
I looked at the screen and I picked toon Link. Daddy selected it.
“Now pick the background color.”
I picked pink.
“Now pick a nickname.”
I hated thinking of a name so I told him he could pick because I didn’t want to think of one.
“I will just put your name in,” he said.
Daddy put in Natalia and then he hit next and it skipped the parental controls and it said set up was complete.
I was surprised how quick it went.
Then Daddy was on the menu and he browsed around.
Then he put the game in and it showed up on the screen.
Alexis played the new game while Haley watched. I couldn’t see what they were doing because they were using the Switch screen.
Food was then ready and Christina made her kids get to the table to eat. Daddy made me get to the table and he put Tristian in his high chair and gave him food.
We all ate and Daddy helped with the dishes and he made me clean Tristian up. I changed him and washed his hair and he cried again. Then I got a new nappy on him and put a sleeper on him. Then I nursed him again. I rubbed his head and played with his hair. He would moan and jerk his body and I held him still so he would quit moving around. Then he was taking his mouth off my boob and then putting it back in his mouth. I kept trying to do the computer and I held Tristian right in my arms to make him lay still.
“Stay on my boob or you’re done,” I said to him.
I hate it when he can’t make up his mind. Either he wants to nurse or he doesn’t.
“Natalia I think he’s full, he just ate,” said Daddy.
Tristian nursed a little more and took my boob put of his mouth and I put him down. He still wanted my boob because he cried and crawled back on my lap. I gave him my boob again.
“He just can’t make up his mind,” I said.
Tristian would suck and then stop and suck again. But he laid still this time and stayed on my boob. He was also grabbing my boob with his hands and squeezing it. He soon fell asleep so I laid him on the couch.
My nappy was soaked and I could feel a damp spot on the back of my trousers so I went upstairs and changed. I put on a night time nappy this time and got my pajamas on. I went back downstairs to my computer.

The weekend came again and Landon came over for the whole week because it was Easter Holiday for his school. He had already spent one week off at his Mum’s and now he was going to be here for the whole entire week until Monday. I showed him the Switch.
“You got one already,” he said. “I thought you said you didn’t want it?”
“Your dad didn’t listen so he got me one anyway,” I said.
“Can I play it?”
“Go ahead,” I said.
“Do you have any games for it?”
“Only Zelda.”
Landon turned it on and the game was already in the system. He played Zelda. “How do I open a new file?” he asked.
“I’m afraid you can only do one,” I said.
“Oh bloody.”
“You can play what Alexis started,” I said.
Landon played the file.
“It’s stupid how they make you play one file,” he said.
“I know, Nintendo sucks doesn’t it?” I asked.
“I think Playstation is better.”
I have not had a playstation in years, not since before I moved here and I only had a Playstation 2. I have a Playstation One I bought here with some games but it’s upstairs in my bedroom put away. But I have not bought anymore Playstations since then. Daddy doesn’t really play video games so he has never owned any game systems. He said he did as a child and they had a Super Nintendo and the old Nintendo. But they don’t have it anymore. I have never even played an Xbox. For some reason I am more drawn to Sega and Nintendo.
“Do you have a Playstation now?” I asked.
“Yeah, my mom finally let us have one but she restricts it. For one we can’t even play on it unless it’s raining outside or there is snow on the ground and we can’t play it on a school day. She said she won’t have us be Steven.”
“What?” I said. “He doesn’t even play video games.”
Landon shrugged. “I think I know what she means anyway.”
“What does she mean?”
“She doesn’t want us being glued to one thing when there are millions of other things we can do to enjoy our time.”
Oh that is what she meant.
“So which Playstation do you have?” I asked.
“Playstation 4.”
“How long have you had it?”
“Few years.”
“You don’t know what year you got it?”
“Whenever it was out,” he said.
I looked online to see when it was released and it said November 29th 2013.
“2013 it was,” I said.
“Maybe a year later,” said Landon.
“I didn’t realize it’s been out that long,” I said. “Do you have a lot of games for it?”
“Only about five of them but we mostly play from the Playstation store, they have an online store, and we watch movies on it.”
“Does it suck to not be able to use it that much?”
“Not really.”
“I can’t imagine having such restriction on stuff, I grew up with none,” I said. “I played lots of video games in my teens and my dad did try to restrict them once when he would be off work so he once pulled the circuit switch in the garage to shut the game off in our room and he would do that every time he thought we were spending too much time in front of the TV and then he quit doing it. It’s not like that is all we ever did.”
Thank god he quit doing that before my teen years. I did other stuff then too like playing with dolls or coloring or watching TV or playing computer games or just riding my bike on a nice day or going over to other kids houses to play or going to the playground to play so I never understood the fuss about me playing videogames. He only did it when he felt we were doing them too much.

Christina put her kids to bed and she stayed in her room while Daddy was on his computer again.

Landon and I stayed up pretty late and he said he wanted to go to sleep. I moved off the couch and Tristian woke up crying so I sat in a chair and nursed him again.
“Have his new toys been driving you guys crazy?” Landon asked.
“No,” I said.
“If they drive me crazy I am taking out the batteries.”
“Or just turn them off. He doesn’t know how to turn them on.”
Landon went in the bathroom with some clothes and came back out in his pajamas. He made the couch and laid down.
Tristian got done nursing and I took him upstairs to his room and put him in his cot. Daddy was already in bed. He cried when I left and I brought my computer and power cord upstairs and plugged it in and sat at the table.
I looked up some random stuff online. I looked at my old apartment in Seattle and I saw the recent image was from August 2015. I also looked at the overview of the house. Then I looked at my old house in Saltwater. I saw the home had been painted brown with white trim and they had black shutters on the side of the windows. The house was peach colored when we lived there and there were no shutters on the windows and a tree had been planted in the middle of the front yard with bark dust around it so the lawn was all shady now. The bushes were still there and the flowers and I saw flower pots were hanging on the front porch and the railings were all painted white and the swing had been replaced with a different swing and the front door had been replaced too with a newer door and it looked nicer. I looked at it from a bird eye view so I could see the backyard. I saw no sandbox and there was no swing set or my old playhouse and I didn’t see any other changes in the backyard. It was hard to tell from the map. I looked at the house on an American real estate website to see if the same owners still lived there. I typed in the town name and looked on the map and found the property and clicked on it and it showed the information about it. It showed the size, how many bedrooms it had and bathrooms and what kind of basement it had and how many car garage it was and it showed what features it had and the year it had been built. It also showed when it was last sold for how much. The same people were still living there my dad had sold the house to. I also looked at Veronica’s house to see if her parents were still living there and they were and I looked at the Scotts’ and the parents were still there. I looked at some other homes and I saw none of the same neighbors were still living there when Dad had sold the house. I saw the Harris’ were still there but the Manettes’ had moved and so had the person who moved into Jolene’s house. I remember her moving when I was getting out of high school and then someone else moved there and now they had moved. It was interesting to see some of my old school mate’s parents had moved away too and some of our old neighbors were still living there.
I was looking up Saltwater, WA when I saw local news for it. It read on Google “Homes in Saltwater vandalized who had up Trump signs.” I clicked on it and I read the article. It was about people going around targeting homes by those who supported Trump and spray painting words on their garage doors like “Fuck you Nazi” “anti Trump” and other anti speech calling them names like Nazi, racist, xenophobe, misogynist, and people had came home to damage or woken up to damage and windows being busted and trash being thrown on their yard or toilet paper being thrown all over and a few cars being smashed. It said it happened in neighborhoods and in downtown and even my old neighborhood was hit. There was some hate group going around for those who had voted for Trump and supported him still. Police had been called by those who had spotted the vandals and a few arrests had already been made. I looked at the date of the article and it was from January. Names had not been released for those who were arrested. I looked for another update on the article and saw there had been more arrests and trials were awaiting and names still couldn’t be released due to them being juvenile. I wondered if my old house was hit with vandals and if the people living there were Trump supporters. I do not want to know about anyone being a Trump supporter. It still boggles my mind how anyone can still support him. Too bad Google maps didn’t show the houses from recent so I would know what ones got hit. It would be so nice if they updated the maps and street views every month and had a timeline for updates so people would know what used to be there or what it used to look like over the years.
I do not understand why people would want to broadcast who they support. Having up pro Trump stickers or signs is asking for trouble it’s like having up a Nazi symbol sign. I just hope America won’t turn into Nazi Germany and I wonder if Rosie is still going to move to Canada. I hear Americans were now fleeing into Canada illegally so I wonder if Canada is now going to build a wall to keep them out. That would all be ironic. Trump wants to build a wall so what if their prime minister there wanted to build a wall. That makes me think of the Berlin Wall. I think things have gotten so crazy in America. The riots, the protests, people fleeing to Canada, people committing suicide, companies suing Trump. It has never been this bad with any president. Plus there have been protests here too about Trump and Britain wanting to keep him out of our country. Now America is talking about getting him impeached and even Fox News has turned against him so I wonder if they are fake news now. This is so much fun reading all this drama it feels like it’s people vs Trump and he is going down.

Tristian had fallen asleep in his cot. I saw how late it was so I turned my computer off and went to bed.

Daddy barely paid any attention to Landon since he had come here for the week. He would work and come home and work again and not really wanting to do anything with his son. He was a busy guy I know. Instead Landon gave me attention instead. We played some video games together and we took turns playing the new Zelda game on my Switch. Gailand still came home and took care of Haley and Alexis. Landon also played with Tristian and I watched them.
I went for my walk later leaving Tristian home with Landon to play with. I stopped on Parkland street and looked at the house again where a family lived. I suspected child abuse going on so I finally reported it and now the house sat empty. I looked at the house and it was still bare. No sign of life and I peeked in the window and it was still a mess inside. All the furniture had been moved out and there was still junk left inside. I wondered if they even owned the house still and they were just living somewhere else now to hide from child protective services.
I walked around the block and went back home again. Haley and Alexis were now playing with Tristian. At least I didn’t have to worry about playing with him.
I changed my nappy and got on my computer. Landon got me when Tristian needed to be changed so I changed him and nursed him.
“Has he eaten yet?” Gailand asked.
“Yes he had baby cereal this morning,” I said.
“Anything else?”
“My milk.”
“He needs to eat again, it’s past his lunch time.”
“Okay,” was all I said.
Gailand left and I kept nursing and I forgot about feeding him so I set him down to play.
Gailand came back up and told me she had food ready for my boy and to bring him down. I brought him downstairs and put him in his high chair and he started to eat very fast.
“He was hungry,” said Gailand. “Sometimes I think I should start charging you guys because I also have to help you with your child,” she sighed.
I felt like an incompetent parent.
“Here I made you a snack too,” said Gailand giving me a plate. “Even I have to take care of you because you never eat.”
“I do,” I said. “I had breakfast.”
“You are still nursing so you still need to eat more and you need three meals a day.”
Haley and Alexis sat down at the kitchen table and started to eat their food Gailand had made them.
I was eating my snack when Gailand asked me about that family.
“So have you heard anything back yet about Jason and his family?”
“No,” I said. “Their house is empty though so I think they ran when they got a visit or when I wouldn’t stop going over there and telling them to go get their son help if he is a pathological liar and has an eating disorder.”
“I am sure they will be found,” said Gailand.
“I hope,” I said. “It would be bad if Jason stayed and he really was being abused.”
“If someone had stopped there, they will keep an eye on them, you can’t really run from them.”
“I heard of parents moving to another area to get away from them whenever they would be called or when someone would find out or get suspicious and start questioning them,” I said.
“But they can still find them,” said Gailand.
“I guess it’s not like the US then where social services can’t go after a family to another state,” I said.
“There are lot of things wrong with the US, their new president, their politics,”
“Healthcare,” I added. “How they treat juveniles and criminals.”
“Yes, you do not want to go to prison there. They are even allowed to have weapons and anyone can own one.”
“Unless they have been charged with a crime or being in a mental hospital or have a history of being suicidal,” I said.
“They have lawsuits so you can just sue anyone for anything.”
“I don’t think it’s like that,” I informed. “It’s more common there yes but I think there is always more to the story than what we hear like that hot coffee for example when in fact it was an old woman who burned herself she had to go to the hospital and got third degree burns and got a $10,000 medical bill and it was her grandson who was driving. So she did not sue for money and she only wanted them to pay her medical bill and lower the hot coffee temperature but she ended up with money at the end when it was settled. Then there is that phone booth guy who sued because he got hit by a drunk driver when in fact the phone booth had been hit before by cars and they never moved the phone booth to another location and they didn’t maintain it properly so the door got stuck and he couldn’t get out when he saw the car coming so he got hit and sued them for their lack of care of the phone booth and for failing to move it because it had a history of being hit by cars. But yes people do sometimes sue for stupid reasons and sometimes people sue because that is the only way their medical insurance will pay their medical bill so that doesn’t mean they want to sue but they have to or else their insurance won’t pay their medical expenses unless they sue.”
“I didn’t know that,” said Gailand. “I guess with their broken system, they are forced to sue to get their medical care paid but here there is no need to do it that.”
“Exactly, we don’t need to sue anyone here to get our medical bills paid but it costs money to sue and my parents were sued once because their stupid kid rode his bike in our bush and my parents were forced to remove their bush. It was a stupid lawsuit and stereotypical of America. I actually enjoyed teasing the kid for a while because of his parents and I felt normal for it.”
“Normal?”
“Yeah because kids always picked on me so I felt like everyone else when I did it to him.”
“Oh honey, just because everyone does something doesn’t make it normal.”
“Normal just means the majority so when lot of people do something, it’s considered normal so it’s normal in Iran to get arrested for homosexuality and get executed for it. It’s normal for children to pick on someone who is different than the rest of them but it doesn’t make it okay of course.”
“But it still doesn’t make it normal.”
“Normal just means the majority but it doesn’t mean it’s okay, it just means it’s considered normal if lot of people do it,” I said. “Like there are things out there we do that is human nature but it doesn’t make all of it okay and I think some people use it as an excuse to not change.”
“I agree,” said Gailand.
Just because a behavior is human nature doesn’t mean we can’t work on it. I have seen people say online how it’s human nature to judge someone for what car they drive or what phones they have when they are on welfare. Well people can stop that because they can learn that people sometimes hit hard times so they need help right now and we can all learn to not judge someone based on what car they drive or what clothes they have on or what phone they own. We don’t even know if it was a gift or if they afforded it before shit happened and car they are using could be a car that’s been paid off or it could be a car they are borrowing from a friend or family member. That is just one example there where people use human nature as an excuse to not learn to not judge.


Daddy came home again and Landon started talking to him. “Dad, can we do something together like play a game or something or watch a movie?” he asked.
“Not now honey,” said Daddy.
“But Dad, you never do anything with me, you’re always busy,” said Landon.
“I know honey but I gotta work you know.”
“But you worked all day and now you’re home. Are you still getting paid here?”
“No.”
“So you can stop working then and spend time with us.”
Dad didn’t say anything and he just went upstairs.
Landon kept on talking.
“I only see you every other week and I am here for a week and you never use those days to spend time with me, you’re always busy it’s like I don’t even matter anymore.”

I couldn’t hear the rest anymore because they went upstairs and then I heard shouting.
“Just leave me alone,” Daddy shouted.
“Mum’s right, you are a workaholic and don’t care about anyone but yourself no wonder she divorced you,” Landon yelled.
“She said that? About me?” Daddy asked.
Christina looked at the direction the shouting was coming from and Alexis said “They’re fighting.”
“Landon is really upset,” said Christina.
I put Tristian down and went upstairs.
Landon and Daddy were still shouting at each other when I went in Tristian’s bedroom and closed Daddy’s computer and grabbed it.
“What are you doing?” Daddy asked me. “Natalia, what is this?”
“You’re working too much and don’t pay any attention to your boy and you only see him every other weekend and this is your only week to see him until next school holiday, besides you don’t even get paid after work and you expect me to watch Tristian and be off my computer so why can’t you do the same for him when he is here?” I asked.
“I work to make money to support you guys,” said Daddy.
“You don’t get paid this time of day nor on the weekends and you’re always telling me you will take my computer and videogames away because you think I don’t pay enough attention to Tristian so I am doing it to you now so you can pay more attention to your little boy.”
“You have threatened to take away her computer and her video games?” Landon asked his father.
“That’s different, she isn’t working to support us,” he said.
“You aren’t working right now to support us,” I pointed out. “You’re home from work and your work hours are over so you don’t need to keep working until tomorrow again.”
“You both can lose your computers and do something together,” said Landon. “I know can we all go to a film?”
“I have to get up tomorrow,” said Daddy.
“You do every day anyway,” said Landon.
“You know what I mean.”
“What is even the point of me coming here if you don’t even care about me,” said Landon.
“I care about you,” said Daddy.
“Then show it and quit acting like I am nothing to you. Do you ignore Tristian too?”
“No because I help Natalia with him?”
“Help? He’s your son, you’re supposed to be taking care of him, not helping. You’re not supposed to be only paying attention to her either when she needs help with him, what’s the matter with you?”
“I don’t know, I just get into my work I lose track of time and it’s hard to fit time into everything when I have my work.”
“If you can manage to help her with your child, you can manage to do other things,” said Landon.
I left with Daddy’s computer. I hid it in our room under the chair cushion. I went back downstairs and got on mine and checked Facebook. I saw I got a new message so I clicked on it and saw it was from Lisa.
“Hi I am in London now and am now in my dorm room. I am liking London so far and it’s very pretty and everyone is so polite and it’s a very clean city.”
I replied back saying “Stay out of Soho then. Easter is Sunday so do you have any plans for that day, you can come here and spend time with us that day.”
I sent it and waited for a reply.
I was reading my wall when I saw I got a message from Lisa again.
“There are no classes on the weekends and what’s wrong with Soho?”
“It was very dirty when I was there because there was litter all over,” I wrote. “So you want to come over on Sunday?”
Lisa kept replying and our messages went like this:
“Where do you live?” she asked.
I gave her my address.
“Where is that?”
“Out near Essex and we live in a community call Woodland. Central line runs near here,” I wrote.
“What?”
“What what?” I asked.
“I don’t even know what Central line is.”
“It’s what they call one of the subway routes. Each train line has their own name and color. You can take the subway train here. Didn’t you do any research before you got here?”
“I did but I don’t know about all this transportation stuff, it’s very confusing.”
“Okay, you just need to get a map of London, I hope you have one already, and go to the nearest underground and they will have a map of the underground and it will tell you what line to take and where to go. You would have to look at the red line and get off in Woodford, it’s the name of the station. Or we can just meet up and I will take you home with me.”
I went to the website where you can plan your trips here in London using their public transportation; busses, and trains and the underground. I asked for her location and she told me so I typed in her university and typed in my own address and I told her what routes she would have to take to get to my house. I also gave her the website to the page where she had to type in her location she is starting from and put in my home address where her route would end. She thanked me.
“So are you still coming over for Easter?”
“Sure I will come.”
“Cool, when will you be here, noon, morning, what?”
“I don’t know but I will come.”
“Let us know when you are coming okay, do you have your phone?”
“Yes, foreign plan so I can use my cell here.”
“Cool. Here is my number.”
I typed it down and sent it.
Then Daddy came downstairs.
“What did you do with my computer?”
I shrugged.
“Natalia, I need it for work.”
“You can get it tomorrow,” I said.
“Fine, if I can’t be on my computer, then it’s a good idea we both don’t spend time on ours and we do something together,” Daddy said as he took my computer. He closed it and held it in his arms. I got up and got my phone but Daddy grabbed it too. “Nice try.”
“This is so great you guys, going without your computers, I thought you both spend way too much time with them,” said Christina.
“They’re both meant for each other,” said Landon.
“Oh your son is so cute,” Christina said again. “He was just playing with his toy and he was trying to fit a shape into one of the holes and he was trying to figure out why the shape wasn’t going in and then he was pounding on it.”
Haley was playing with Tristian on the floor. She was playing with one of his new toys with him.
“Are you cooking anything for dinner?” Daddy asked Christina.
“Oh yes, it’s in the oven,” she said.
“How come Natalie never cooks anything?” Landon asked.
“Because I don’t like to do it,” I said. “Plus I suck at it and I was a cooking disaster when I last did it so everyone agreed I will just stick with simple things like pasta or pancakes or cake or brownies or eggs.”
“We’re fine with cooking everything,” said Daddy.
“I think Tristian needs a new nappy,” said Haley.
Daddy went over to him and picked him up and sniffed the air and said “He needs changed.”
He handed him to me. “Here you go.”
“Does she always do the nappy changing?” Landon asked.
“Pretty much,” said Daddy.
“Why?”
“Because I’m a guy and we don’t handle nappies, the ladies do.”
“That’s so sexist.”
“She’s here so she can do it,” said Daddy.
“You do it sometimes,” I said.
“Yeah when you were at work or in the shower or getting changed or sleeping.”
“It would be nice if you did it too instead of having me do it all the time just because I’m here,” I said.
“Guys don’t normally change nappies,” said Daddy.
“I think guys can do just as much as women. Those times have to go.”
Sometimes I get frustrated with Daddy because of the way he acts.
“It’s a guy thing Natalie, they don’t like changing nappies,” said Christina. “I had to do it all the time when my kids were little. Mark never wanted to do it whenever I was around.”
I got in Daddy’s face and said “You have no problems changing mine but yet you have an issue with changing our son’s?”
Daddy said in my ear. “You’re my wife so that’s different and you’re my adult baby.”
I don’t think Landon heard.
“My dad changed all our nappies when we were little,” I said.
“But did he only do it whenever your mother wasn’t around?” Daddy asked.
I never thought of that. I remember Mum mostly doing it and she changed mine most of the time when I was first back in them again after the accident and she was the one to change me whenever we were out as family. Dad only did it sometimes and then he stopped because he said I was too old for him to be seeing my private area and now it was only Mum doing it.
“It’s a guy thing,” Christina said again.
“Just like we don’t shop at IKEA,” said Daddy.
“My step dad won’t go there either,” said Landon.
“Did he change any nappies even with his ex wife around?” I asked.
“I don’t know.”
“You should ask him and then come back and tell us,” I said.
I took Tristian upstairs and changed his nappy. Stupid guy thing and their gender roles.
I brought him back downstairs and set him on the floor again.
“Natalie, want to play a game with us?” Landon asked me.
“No thanks,” I said.
I sat on the couch and laid down.
“We’re going to play Cluedo,” said Daddy.
Cluedo is the UK version of Clue. They’re exactly the same but the name.
“No thanks, I will just rest,” I replied.
“We can’t play without you.”
“Play another game,” I said.
“See if Christina or Alexis want to play,” said Daddy.
“Okay,” said Landon.
He got up and left the table and went upstairs to ask Christina if she wanted to play. Then he came back down and asked Alexis and she said no.
Christina came down.
“It’s great you are finally spending time together,” she said. “Natalie do you want to play.”
“No,” I said.
They began playing and they didn’t even finish the game when dinner was ready and I had been resting on the sofa bored. Maybe I should have played the board game since I am so bored. Here is a joke, what games do boring people play? Board games. Or here is another version, what games do you play when you’re bored? Board games.
“Natalie, food is ready,” said Christina.
I didn’t feel like eating. I wasn’t even hungry but Daddy made me eat. He made me a plate and told me to get to the table and told me I am never hungry so when I eat I will realize how hungry I am.
I got up and Tristian was already in his high chair and Daddy was giving him his food.
“Your plate is right there,” Daddy showed me.
I sat down and started to eat. Daddy sat down next to Tristian and started eating his food and Christina and her kids were sitting down and eating and Landon sat next to me.
I didn’t realize I was even hungry because I ate all my food and then I was feeling pressure in my ass and poop came out. I farted and Landon said “Was that Natalie?”
“I’m right here,” I said. “Don’t talk like I am not here or don’t understand anything.”
“Sorry, was that you?”
“Yes,” I said.
“That was a stinky fart,” said Alexis holding her nose.
I felt the mess in my nappy.
I got up and put my plate in the sink and rested on the couch again enjoying the mess. Surprisingly no one said anything so I figured they didn’t smell it from all the way over there. I get away with it most of the time and sometimes I am told to go change.

Everyone got done eating and Daddy cleaned Tristian up and brought him to me. “You can be on your computer,” he said. “I can tell you really want to be on it.”
Then he sniffed the air and asked me in my ear. “Are you stinky?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Are you going to change?”
“When I feel like it.”
“Get upstairs,” he said.
I got off the couch and went upstairs with Tristian. I carried him to our room and I set him on the floor and rested on Daddy’s bed. Daddy came in the room and he took out my changing pad and a night time nappy with an insert and wipes and rash cream. He laid the pad on my bed and told me to get on it. I moved my body on it and Daddy started changing me. Tristian was standing along Daddy’s bed looking at us.
“Luckily he won’t remember this,” I said.
Daddy held my legs in the air while he cleaned the mess off my bottom. I enjoyed the wipe on my bottom and Daddy going inside my butt crack. He also cleaned between my creases and then inside my vagina and folded skin. I even peed during the change and Daddy just soaked it up with my changing pad and cleaned me up again.

After he was done changing me, he cleaned up the mess while I got my pajamas on. Tristian had seen the whole thing and then he was playing.
I went back downstairs and got on my computer again.
Christina was cleaning the kitchen. Landon was playing my Switch again. He had his own file because he had created an account on my Switch so he could have his own file. He told me that is what he did so I would know and not freak out thinking he erased my file. I had fallen in love with the system and I was glad Daddy had gotten it for me after all so I had been playing it too while everyone is at work and in school.
Daddy came back down. “Okay Natalia, since my son is playing your game and you are on your computer, tell me where mine is.”
“It’s under my chair cushion in our bedroom,” I said. “Just try and spend more time with your son.”
“And you try and do the same for Tristian, deal?”
“Okay,” I said.
Daddy went upstairs.
I checked the messages again from Lisa. She had given me her mobile number.
“My cousin might be coming over this Sunday,” I said.
“Which cousin?” Landon asked.
“Someone from my Mum’s side and she is her niece. Half niece I should say.”
“Half?” Landon asked.
“Yeah her parents divorced when she was little and her dad got remarried and had four kids together and his daughter had a girl so that makes her my half cousin.”
“Too many families are being separated because of too many people are getting divorced,” said Landon.
“How do you feel about yours being separated?” I asked.
“I was too young to even understand why my Mum didn’t want my father around and why she kicked him out and I can’t remember them fighting.”
“But how did you feel about it when you got older?” I asked.
“I asked her why they weren’t together anymore.”
“And then what did you think?”
“That my dad was too busy for his family and he was too busy to see me all the time. My Mum said he is a workaholic but he doesn’t think he is.”
I didn’t tell Landon what his dad had told me about his mother and how he made her sound like a bitch. It’s not nice to say bad things about someone’s mother or father to a child. Though it seemed like Taffie had broken that rule because of what Landon had told me.
“Has your mother actually said anything bad about your father?” I asked.
“I don’t know. Define bad?”
“Like did she tell you that he only cared about himself?”
“Pretty much and that he was too busy for her and left all the work to her to take care of me.”
“Anything else she said?”
“That he wasn’t socially smart and didn’t get her and her feelings and he wouldn’t stop throwing his dirty linen on the floor instead of putting it in the laundry bin and he didn’t talk enough and he was bad at expressing himself and being forgetful and not showing enough care for her though he gave her breakfast in bed when she was sick but he didn’t even bother knowledge how she was feeling or even bother asking her how she was feeling or if she liked the food or even coming back to see her to collect the plate and he wouldn’t stop treating her like she was a child like she was retarded and then he would just ignore her whenever she complained about it.”
“She sure makes him sound like an asshole,” I said. “I don’t have that experience.”
Of course he was none of that with me.
“Has he ever said anything to you about your mother?” I asked.
“Not really but things didn’t work out between them,” said Landon.
“But did he say exactly anything about her like how they got along or what she was like?”
“No, just that things didn’t work out for them and she was unhappy in their marriage and he couldn’t do anything about it. Now she is with a different guy and she’s happy now.”
Wow, Daddy was acting better than Taffie because he wasn’t saying anything bad about her to their son like she was about him.


The next day Daddy and Christina were at work again so Marybeth was watching them because it was Gailand’s day off. I had to go get some Easter stuff for Tristian. I wondered what do toddlers this young have in their baskets? I could get him some soft candy since he only has four teeth and he was getting another one on the top because I can feel it just coming through the gum.
I was online looking at ideas for what to put in a Easter basket for a 13 month old. I could get him an outfit or put a toy in there or a book. I could put baby snacks in there or get him a stuffed animal. He only needed one basket and he wouldn’t know the difference. I used to get three for each Easter and I always had toys in there or a new movie or a book and candy and we always had to look for them but I couldn’t do that with Tristian because he wouldn’t understand. Instead I would have to leave it out for him and give it to him. Last year I didn’t do one for Tristian because he was too little.
I got some ideas and then I got up and got ready to go. I didn’t want to put the burden on Landon so I got Tristian dressed and changed into a clean nappy.
“What’re you doing?” Landon asked when I was getting a coat on.
“I am going to get some Easter stuff for Tristian,” I said.
I picked Tristian up and got my shoes on and left. I didn’t worry about Haley and Alexis because that was Christina’s job to do their Easter stuff. I put Tristian in his car seat and headed to the store. I stopped at The Mall in Walthamstow. They charged for parking but not much. It’s very cheap. I took Tristian out of his car seat and put him in his pushchair. I brought him in the mall and started to look around. I looked in Poundland to get some ideas and then I looked in other stores like ASDA and TK Maxx. I wonder why they call it that here instead of TJ Maxx. Now all they need is a Ross Dress for Less. Too bad they didn’t sell Peeps in the UK. I loved that candy when I was a kid. It was just soft marshmallow candy they sold every Easter that were shaped like bunnies and chicks and they are in different colors. They also didn’t have premade Easter baskets here either like they do in the US. I loved those when I was a kid but Mum and Dad never got those. They were just candy and toys in a basket wrapped in clear wrapping.
I decided I should make Landon a basket but I didn’t know what to put in his basket.
I got some candy in Poundland for Landon’s basket and I looked at the toys there. I also looked at the snacks and drinks. I didn’t think Landon would appreciate toys in his basket, that would be a gift disaster. I looked at the beauty stuff but wasn’t sure if deodorant would be an appropriate gift for his basket or shaving cream or razors. I bought Easter candy only and left the store. I looked in ASDA next and looked at the Easter stuff and toys and books. I put stuff in the basket of my son’s pushchair for me to decide later. I looked at the baby snacks too and put some in the pushchair. I also found the Easter baskets and I was taking some off the shelf to look at when some guy was standing by me and told me “Excuse me miss, can you please come with us?”
I saw he was dressed in a uniform and he looked to be a security officer here. I put the baskets back and followed them. They took me to the back of the store. I wondered what was going on. Was Steven hurt or Landon or someone?
They took me into an office and there was another store employee there. The office had TVs in there and I saw the store on the screens.
“We need you to look at this camera here,” they said.
I looked and I saw myself looking at stuff and putting stuff in the pushchair.
“What do you see?” the officer asked.
“Me shopping,” I said.
“But what are you doing with the stuff?”
“Putting it in the pushchair for me to decide later,” I replied.
“Are you being cheeky?”
“No,” I said.
“Look, shoplifting is a serious crime,” the officer said and his tone had changed.
I then knew what this was about. They thought I was trying to steal.
“If you think you are going to come into our store and try and steal, you need to try a little harder.”
“I wasn’t trying to steal anything,” I said.
This was a misunderstanding and I would clear this all up.
“I was getting stuff for my kids’ Easter and I needed something to carry the stuff so I used the pushchair.”
“Oh really, then why wouldn’t you use a trolley?”
“Because I had my son with and what was I going to do with the pushchair, leave it at the entrance and have someone take it?”
“Ma’am if you don’t quit taking the piss, we will have you arrested for attempted shop lifting.”
Uh oh, now I better stop trying to resolve this and better have them figure this out themselves.
“I’m not taking the piss, I’m serious,” I said.
“Look her up,” the officer told the other officer. “What is your name?”
“Natalia Wilums,” I said.
“Can I see your ID?”
I reached into the nappy bag and took out my wallet and gave them my driving license.
“Get a copy of this and check her background,” said the officer.
He handed it to the other security and he left the room.
Now it was just me and the store employer and the officer.
Now what? Everyone was quiet and I wasn’t sure what to do now. Could I reach into my nappy bag and get my phone out so I have something to do?
Tristian started to cry in his pushchair so I took him out and set him on my lap and lifted my shirt and popped my boob in his mouth. I faced away from them as I did it so they wouldn’t have to see my boob.
“Ma’am can we search your bag for any items?” the officer asked.
“Go ahead,” I said.
I quit caring a long time ago about my nappies being seen.
The officer opened my bag and he looked at what was in it and only found baby nappies and mine and adult wipes and baby wipes and rash cream and baby snacks and some baby toys, my phone and charger stick. He closed the bag and put it in the pushchair.
I kept nursing and I rocked him and then the other officer came back. “I took a copy of her license and I got her background checked and she has no history of any criminal charges, but she does have a history of having mental issues and it showed she has a form of autism.”
“Really?” the officer asked.
“That would explain how she was answering.”
The officer then asked me “aren’t people with your disorder supposed to be logical?”
“I don’t see all of them are,” I said.
“Can you tell us again why were you using a pushchair instead of a trolley?”
“Because I had it with me and I wouldn’t have been able to push the trolley and the pushchair at the same time and it would have been awkward to push the trolley and then the pushchair and then the trolley and it would have taken me longer,” I explained.
The officers laughed.
“But why even use it as a trolley when we had them here already?” one of them asked.
“I think she might have already been shopping here at the mall,” said the store employee.
“Oh that makes sense,” said one of the officers.
“But you could have just put the pushchair under the trolley you know,” said the other officer. “Why didn’t you do that?”
“Okay I am not going to press any charges,” said the store clerk. “We’re fine now.”
“You’re sure?” they asked.
“Positive,” said the store clerk. “I will call you again if there are any more problems.”
The officers tipped their hats and left.
“I am very sorry about all of this,” said the store employee. “I wasn’t expecting it to happen this way so as our apology, I am offering you a fifty percent discount on your total purchase you do here and you are welcome to shop here any time during store hours.”
“Thanks,” I said.
“Would you like to stay here to finish nursing your baby?”
“I think he is done, he is only pacifying now,” I said.
I took him off my boob and put him back in his pushchair and put my bag back on the handlebars.
“I can’t believe they thought I was trying to steal,” I said.
“Actually one of our employees reported it as suspicion and I was called and I called the mall security and we got you and brought you here and it was just a misunderstanding. I will get your name and let all our cashiers know about the discount I am offering you so they can take off fifty percent.”
“Okay,” I said.
I left the office and went back to looking around. That wasn’t so bad. I wonder what would have happened if I didn’t have the Asperger’s diagnoses. I wondered how I was being cheeky in there and making fun of them and why they got that idea. Do people not put items in their pushchair when shopping? Where do they put it then? I then saw a mother shopping and she also had her kid in a pushchair and she was carrying an item basket on her arm. That looked inconvenient and painful if there is too much stuff in it. Maybe that is why I looked suspicious and I guess a normal person wouldn’t be using a pushchair as a trolley for shopping if they had their toddler with. But it seemed more logical to use the pushchair basket to carry stuff than the shopping basket. Now I know doing that is very dangerous and I was lucky I didn’t get in serious trouble. But I was already cleared so I didn’t need to get a basket to put all the stuff in. Now it was on record I wasn’t shoplifting and this was how I shopped, I could do it again this way and not be bothered by any mall security but it was only for here. I bet the officers didn’t believe me when I told them why I was using the pushchair as my trolley and some people do steal items that way too so some stores don’t even allow them in their stores. I wonder if someone would actually leave their pushchair outside this store. I have never been to a mall and seen a bunch of pushchairs parked outside. Do people actually put their pushchairs under their trolleys? I have never seen it. Why even do that if they can use the pushchair basket as one if they are not getting much stuff? I wonder if it would be because they don’t want to be mistaken for shoplifting.
I picked out a basket for Landon and got him some bubbles and some Easter grass and paid for everything I was getting and then I went to TK Maxx next to pick out a toy or a book for Tristian’s basket.
I looked for something small that would fit in the basket. I looked at the books; board ones and learning ones. What do boring people read? Board books.
I looked at the toys again and found a Shopkins Kinstructions set and stuck it on top of my pushchair.
I looked at the baby toys again and I couldn’t find any to get so I picked out a book instead. I took them to checkout and paid for them and left. My nappy was due for a change so I stopped in the disabled toilet to change.
I threw my nappy away and washed my hands and I checked Tristian’s diaper and saw he was messy so I changed him. I then left the toilet and looked in GAME. I looked at the games including the Switch. They were selling Micro SD cards for the Switch. Boy were the big ones expensive over one hundred pounds. I wasn’t worried about space because I wasn’t going to be buying digital games for it. Those take up too much space.
I finished looking around and left The Mall and went back to my car. I put Tristian in his car seat and put the stuff and the pushchair in the boot and got in on the driver’s side tossing the nappy bag in the back seat of the car. I paid on the way out and went home.


I arrived home and I left the stuff in the boot and brought Tristian and my nappy bag inside. I was so glad to be done with Easter shopping.
Daddy came home later than usual and he also had a couple shopping bags with him.
“What did you get?” I asked.
Daddy pulled it away from me and said “It’s a surprise, you will find out this weekend.”
“You got Easter stuff?” I asked. “So did I.”
Daddy just went upstairs.
I felt I had wasted money again. I guess Tristian will get two baskets. I went back out to the boot again and got my Shopkins Kinstructions and brought it inside. I opened it and took out the bags and the instructions. I started to build with the Legos and Landon watched me. Then Tristian started crying so I had to leave my work and get to him.
Landon bothered his dad again upstairs. I forgot about my Shopkins building set it sat on the table and Christina asked me to move it so people could eat there. I moved it all to the buffet.
Landon came down blowing air out of his mouth. “You okay?” I asked.
“Dad is busy again and told me he will be done in an hour,” he sighed.
Oh god.
I got my phone and called Dad while I was nursing Tristian.
“Hello?”
“Dad I have a question?”
“You’re not going to say hi first?” he asked.
“Hi, when we were little, did you ever take care of us too or did Mum do all the work?” I asked.
Dad laughed. “What do you mean?”
I told him about what happened last night and how Landon made me realize I do most of the work with Tristian while my husband is home and he said it was a guy thing that they don’t do nappy changes when the mother is around.”
“That is bullshit,” said Dad. “I don’t know what kind of world he was living in but men do as much work as the mums do.”
“But Christina also said the same thing my husband said,” I pointed out.
“What did she say?”
“That she changed most of her kids nappies and her ex-husband barely did it and he only did it when she wasn’t home or when she was in the shower.”
“No it is not a guy thing, it’s called being lazy. I think they just use it as an excuse to justify not doing it and women use it as an excuse to justify their partner’s behavior.”
“Do you go to IKEA?” I asked.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Too far.”
“So you don’t shop there because you don’t like it, it’s just too far away,” I said.
“Correct.”
“They also said men don’t shop at IKEA and they don’t like going there and my dad in law said the same and so did my Mum in law,” I said.
“Okay I think they were just messing with you. No way would your cousin be that prejudice about gender and if your in laws were serious, shame on them and shame on them for raising your husband that way, now you need to teach him that is not how life is.”
“Okay,” I said.
“So what have you been up to lately?”
“I went shopping for Easter stuff and I was in ASDA,” I told him about what happened there.
“Some women do use pushchairs to steal items,” said Dad. “So they didn’t know if you were doing that.”
“I guess I should have put Tristian in the trolley and folded the pushchair and put it under the trolley,” I said. “But I didn’t think it would be logical if I wasn’t getting much stuff so I could use the pushchair basket as my trolley than carrying a shopping basket around and pushing the pushchair.”
“I know that,” said Dad.
“So you did change our nappies when we were little and didn’t make Mum do all the work?”
“Of course. I also cooked too and did my share of the housework and the reason why your mother did most of the work was because I worked and she stayed at home so she did most of it. Not because she was a woman and I’m a guy. Steven might have gotten the wrong idea if that is how it was in his home too. Did his dad work and his Mum stay home?”
“She worked too but I think his dad worked more than she did.”
“Okay, then, that’s probably why. He saw her doing most of the chores so he thought that is how it is for all households and relationships.”
“He even told me I didn’t need to work and I could just stay home and not ever work,” I said.
“You have Tristian to take care of.”
“I know but I like to work or else I will be bored.”
“But you can’t get bored because you’re a Mum so you should be busy at home so you can’t possible get bored,” Dad said again.
“Dad, remember when I had Alex and all he did was he crawled around and did nothing and all I could do was feed him and change him and give him a bath and I still had time for my video games?”
“But Tristian is walking now and gets into everything so you are very busy.”
“But what do I do all day with a one year old?”
“Do you read to him or play with him?”
“Not yet.”
“That is what you should be doing. Are you still on your computer or on your phone?”
Both.”
“Natalie you should be using your time with him. All they need is twenty minutes of your time and then they can entertain themselves. You just never had a normal child so you are still used to autism.”
We talked for a couple more minutes and then we hung up.
I went in Tristian’s bedroom where Daddy was.
“Daddy,” I said.
“Hey honey,” he said.
“I have a question, when you told me that men didn’t shop at IKEA, were you serious? And were you also serious about women doing all the work and the guys don’t do much childcare?”
“I never said that,” he said.
“Yes you did, remember last night? You said you guys don’t do much of the work because women do it.”
I couldn’t remember how the conversation went so I couldn’t play it back verbally.
“I did not say that,” Daddy said again.
I felt angry because he was gas lighting me and only abusers do it and it was giving me anxiety.
“Don’t gaslight me,” I shouted. “You did to say men don’t do much of the work and it was a guy thing and your son said it was sexist and you said I was here so I can do it. You even said you don’t normally change nappies and it’s a guy thing. I feel like using a tape recorder now to record all our conversations.”
Too bad this wasn’t instant messaging or I would have had proof and show him the text.
“Just ask your son,” I finished.
I don’t think Landon would lie and say he said no such thing. He will be on my side and back me up.
“Oh I said that, I might have meant lot of men don’t normally do it and it’s mostly women who do it,” said Daddy.
“No you really said it so quit gas lighting me,” I shouted.
Then Christina came in the room and asked “What is with the yelling?”
“Tell him what he said last night about men not doing much childcare,” I told her.
“She thinks I told her men don’t do any childcare and women only do it,” said Daddy.
“You did tell her it was a guy thing to not change nappies when the mother is around,” said Christina.
Yay she had nailed him and was he going to gaslight her too?
“And were you messing with me when you said guys didn’t shop at IKEA?” I asked her.
“I never said that, he did,” said Christina.
“Were you serious when you also said it was a guy thing to not change nappies or do much childcare?” I asked.
“Yes because it’s so common in guys.”
“She said it not me,” said Daddy.
“Then why won’t you take care of Tristian more when you are here and I have to do all the work? You’re not even being paid to work at home,” I said.
“I get paid for it but not by the hour, only by what work I do.”
“You did agree when I said it,” said Christina.
Daddy sighed. “Whatever, I am not going to argue about something that was said and it’s in the past so it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“I just don’t like being gas lighted, it makes me mad,” I said.
“Gas lighted?” Christina asked.
“It’s a phrase that comes from an old movie where a man would move stuff to make his wife think she is crazy and that term had evolved into a phrase to mean to make someone feel like they are going crazy and making them doubt their opinions and their perspectives and their memories,” I said.
“I am not trying to make you feel you are going crazy,” said Daddy.
“You asked me last night if my dad did most of the work too only when my mother wasn’t around,” I pointed out.
“I can see how you thought I said it,” he said.
“But it implied you thought it was a guy thing and think it should be that way or else you wouldn’t have asked it,” I said.
“Sorry I wasn’t trying to imply it so it’s not what I meant when I said it,” said Daddy.
“Then what did you mean?”
“I don’t even remember the topic,” he said.
I would try again.
“Do you think men should only change nappies when the mother isn’t able to do it or should the guy do his share of it like the mother?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” he said.
“Yes I think men should do part of the work too,” said Christina.
“So I would like you to start doing it too when you’re home and not having me do all the work,” I said. “That is what good husbands do.”
“Okay,” said Daddy. “I’ll try.”
He went back to work.


Daddy did try making an effort to pay more attention to Landon and changing Tristian more instead of just handing him to me. After everyone went to bed and I had put Tristian in his cot, I got out the Easter stuff and started to make the baskets. Daddy was making his too.
“I got one for your boy,” I said.
I put the grass in his basket and opened the candy and poured some in there and I put the bubbles in there too. I made Tristian’s basket next. I put in the baby treats and the yogurt pouch and a baby book and a stuffed animal.
“I like your basket,” said Daddy. “You did a good job.”
He made Tristian’s too. I saw he had gotten him a teething ring and a sippy cup and of course more baby snacks and an outfit. Then he took out one last thing, finger crayons and he stuck those in the basket.
“Did you get one for Landon?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said.
Daddy made his basket too and he had gotten him a gift card for his phone and he had also gotten him candy and a drink. Daddy then left our bedroom and came back and said Landon was still up so we would have to wait but I could put Tristian’s downstairs but put it where he can see it.
I took the basket downstairs and Daddy’s too and put them in different spots. I put mine under the dining room table and Daddy’s by the couch. I went back upstairs and did my computer. I got tired and climbed into bed with Daddy and I had him rub me. It felt so good. I fell asleep.



I woke up in the morning remembering it was Easter. Lisa was going to be coming by to visit and it wouldn’t be till noon. She had sent me a text yesterday saying she was going to be here. I felt so excited to see her for the first time. My nappy was soaked. Daddy was still sleeping. Then Tristian started crying over the monitor. Daddy woke up from it.

“Aren’t you going to get him, how long have you been up?”
“I don’t know,” I said answering his second question.
“Natalia, I was sleeping you were letting him cry.”
“I wanted to see if he will stop,” I said.
Daddy got out of bed. I guess he was going to do it.
I felt stuck in bed because I couldn’t get myself to move out of bed to attend my son. I always hoped he was crying for a short bit and then would stop. If not, then I have to get him.
Daddy left and I heard him getting our son out of his cot and talking to him.
“Are you wet?”
I heard him change him and then he brought him in here and handed him to me. “Go see mummy.”
I popped out my boob and put it in his mouth and he started to suck.
“Goodness Natalia, you got mad at me last night for not taking care of our son enough and you don’t even get out of bed,” said Daddy.
“You did it before I could,” I pointed out.
“Because you were ignoring him.”
“I wanted to see if he would stop, Jesus, we don’t need to run to him every time he starts crying or are all those people wrong?”
“That really depends on the situation. But for when he is hungry or tired or just woke up or when he is sick or scared, then you can’t ignore him or else that teaches him we don’t care.”
“I still get to him,” I said.
“You gotta be quicker.”
Daddy rubbed my hair.

Soon he asked, “When are you going to get up?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
I had a feeling he wanted me out of bed.
“You’re in a rush or something to get me out of here?” I asked.
“I was just wondering,” he said. “I thought you would like to watch Tristian see his baskets and see Haley and Alexis find theirs and Landon.”
I didn’t care about seeing Haley and Alexis getting theirs or Landon.
Daddy felt my wet nappy.
“Ready to be changed?”
“Yes,” I said.
He pulled the covers off me and put the changing matt on the bed and put me on top of it. He got the changing supplies and a daytime nappy.
He pulled my pajamas down and undid my nappy and got a clean wipe and wiped me down there and he lifted my legs and cleaned my buttock and my pussy. Then he picked up the clean nappy and unfolded it and lifted my butt and slid the nappy under me. He picked up the nappy cream and got some on his finger and rubbed it on me. Then he put the nappy on me and closed the jar. He took the changing pad away and pulled the covers over me again and threw my used nappy away.
I rested more in bed as Daddy was getting dressed. Then he went downstairs. I could soon hear Haley and Alexis getting up and they went downstairs too. Christina got up and went downstairs. I stayed in bed and then I got up and got my robe on and went downstairs with Tristian. I took him to my basket. Haley and Alexis already had theirs. They had candy in theirs and Alexis had a chapter book in hers and Haley also had a book and they had little toys and chocolate and jelly beans.
“Natalia, go look for your basket,” said Daddy.
Tristian was looking at his basket and then taking stuff out of it. I started looking for my own.
“You have one too Landon,” I said.
“You hid them again didn’t you,” he said.
“Yes,” I said.
That was my family tradition. My parents always hid my basket but that was something my Mum had grown up with so she did it to us kids and my dad learned to do it too and now I have made Daddy do it. Now it was something for Landon to get used to.
Landon started to look for his.
I kept looking for mine and found it in the kitchen under the sink. I took it out and started to take stuff out of it. I had gotten a Shopkins thing so I opened it and it was a keychain and a sticker and it came with a surprise Shopkin. I had also gotten a stuffed Shopkin and then I had a big plastic egg and it had candy in it and I also had a chocolate bunny and a bunch of chocolate and jelly beans. I also saw Peeps in there.
“You went to a store again that sold American candy didn’t you,” I said.
“I knew you would like it,” he said. “I got Landon some too. I actually got it online.”
“What’s this?” Landon asked when he found his basket and he was holding up a pack of Peeps.
“It’s a marshmallow candy,” said Daddy. “It’s comes from Natalia’s country. They said it’s popular there.”
“I didn’t see you put it in his basket,” I said.
“It was a surprise,” he said.
“You still have another basket,” I told Landon.
Daddy had already given Tristian his other basket and Haley asked why Landon and Tristian got two baskets.
“Because Steven didn’t know I had gotten Easter stuff already,” I said.
“It’s not fair, why do we always get one?” Alexis cried.
“Hey I don’t want to hear any whining,” Christina scolded.
“But why do we always get one?” Haley asked.
“Because that is all I give you,” said Christina. “You don’t need all that candy. Look what Tristian has?”
Daddy opened a snack for Tristian for him to snack on and handed it to him. He started to stick his fingers inside and began to eat.
I opened my chocolate and started eating them.
Christina had the news on. They were talking about Donald Trump and American politics.
Haley and Alexis had a few toys in their baskets so they were playing with them while Landon looked at his stuff. He opened his drink and ate a little bit of his candy. Then he said to Haley and Alexis, “Hey you want to come outside with me and blow some bubbles. You can pop them?”
“Yeah yeah,” they were saying.
“Get your shoes on and your jackets,” said Christina.
Alexis got her coat and her shoes and Christina helped Haley put hers on and they headed outside with Landon.
I ate all my Peeps and chocolate but saved the chocolate bunny. Then I got on my phone and played Miitomo on my phone and earned some coins and then I did Super Mario Run. Then I exited the game and browsed on Chrome again.
Christina went to cooking and Daddy helped while I watched Tristian and held him. I read him his new book and then let him look at it.
“Natalia, we need you to clean the house for us because you have company coming over,” said Daddy. “Come get Landon and tell him we need his help too.”
“And my kids,” said Christina.
I went outside and told them they needed to come inside because we all needed their help.
They came inside and Daddy told him he needed him to help clean the house because my cousin was coming over and Christina told her kids to pick up their toys.
We all started to clean. I cleaned the toilets and the sinks while Landon was doing the dishes. I swept and vacuumed and Christina had Haley and Alexis put their shoes and coats away they had left lying in the dining room.
I had fun cleaning but I had to stop to feed Tristian. I watched Youtube on my phone.
“Kids, get dressed,” said Christina.
“You too Landon,” said Daddy. “And Natalia.”
Tristian was sleeping again on my lap with his mouth on my nipple.
“Natalia,” Daddy said again.
“I will,” I said.
Haley came back down dressed but she needed help getting her shirt on. Christina helped and Landon got dressed in the bathroom. He came out and put his pajamas in his suitcase.
I put Tristian down on the sofa and went upstairs. I got dressed and brushed my teeth and my hair and went downstairs. I went back to cleaning.
Landon picked up his bed and put it away and he put his suitcase aside and picked up the Nintendo Switch and started to play it. He played Zelda again and I looked at the screen and saw he was on a horse. I saw an animal and he ran right into it killing it. I looked at how many hearts he had and he still had three. I heard piano music playing in the background. I saw him go by a Lynel and he looked ugly and then I saw another one a few seconds later but he rammed into him and then the music changed and Landon turned his horse around and the Lynel had weapons on him and he had a big item on him he was using and I noticed his body was attached to the horse. I hadn’t seen them since the old Zelda games.
The battle started and Landon tried to fight the enemy but he died because he took all his hearts when he hit him with his weapon. Those enemies had always been tough to beat because they take away chunks of your hearts.
Landon started again on his horse and this time he decided to turn his horse around and run into the Lynel from behind and Landon kept trying to stay behind him but the enemy would attack him and kill him again and Landon kept on trying to stay behind it and keep running into it. After a few tries he got a hold of it and he kept running into the enemy and it got so boring to watch because it wasn’t dying and it had too much health because it showed on the health meter above the enemy. I quit watching and went back to organizing. I brought Haley and Alexis’s Easter baskets up to their room and I did some laundry and put the clean clothes away that were on the dry racks. Tristian had a bunch of dirty clothes that needed to be washed but he had plenty of other clean clothes left to wear so I would do them later. I then took a break and got on my phone and while I was watching youtube, I pooped in my nappy. I ignored it and secretly enjoyed the feeing. I felt it mush around in the middle. I felt a little more come out and it piled on my other fresh poop. My nappy felt tighter in the middle. I shifted positions so my knees were up in the air and my whole buttock was touching the chair. I kept watching the video.
“Natalie did you fart or poop or is that Tristian?” Landon asked.
“Pooped,” I said.
“Please change, I don’t want to smell it.”
I went upstairs and enjoyed my messy nappy. I masturbated in it. Then Daddy was calling me soon and he came upstairs to our room.
“Tristian is crying again,” he said.
I got off my bed and walked by Daddy but he stopped me and then checked my nappy. He smelled me down there and then checked inside the back of my nappy.
“Why didn’t you change?” he asked.
“I didn’t feel like it yet,” I said.
“We have company coming over and you goof off in your messy nappy, I am busy cooking in the kitchen so get changed now.”
“You’re not doing it?” I asked.
“I’m busy and sometimes you need to do this yourself. Get changed, Daddy’s order.”
I sighed.
“I’m sorry, I would do it but I am busy right now. You need to be a big girl right now and go take care of it. I will wait for you downstairs with Tristian.”
He left and I was left alone in my mess. I took off my trousers and looked at my nappy in the mirror. It was all brown from the pee. I took the adult wipes and the rash cream and got a clean nappy out of the wardrobe where all my other nappies were kept. I changed in the bathroom and my nappy pail was also full from all the used nappies. I cleaned up in the tub and put rash cream on my bottom and put the nappy on and took the used nappies out of the pail by lifting the whole bag and leaving a clean bag in. The lining was very thick to hold the weight and I tied the top and I put my trousers on and brought the bag downstairs and got my shoes on and took it outside to the dustbin where my other used nappies were kept for a special service to come and take them away each week. I took my shoes off again and Daddy handed Tristian to me. He was eating his other snacks again he got for Easter. I smelled he was also poopy.
Great another messy nappy to change again.
“Why didn’t you change Tristian when he needed it?” I asked Daddy.
“I’m working,” he said.
“You could have changed him while waiting on me,” I said.
“I figured you would do it when you came down.”
I sighed.
I had to go upstairs again but this time to his room and I changed him on the floor on the changing pad and I saw his nappy pail was also full so I had to do another trip outside but this time I threw them away with our regular trash in the regular dustbin. I got Tristian out of his room and brought him to the living room again.


Noon came and Lisa didn’t show up. I felt nervous. Maybe she is running a little late so I will give it a half hour. Maybe there was too many people or she got a little lost and was trying to find the way. I checked my phone for any texts and I also checked on Facebook. Nothing. I also called her and she didn’t pick up her phone.
“Natalie, do you want to hide eggs with me?” Christina asked.
“Sure,” I said.
I got up and I got my shoes on and Haley was following us but Christina stopped her.
“You cannot come outside, we are hiding eggs.”
“But I want to help,” she said.
“No,” said Christina. “You stay inside and don’t look out the window. Steven, please make sure none of my kids are peeping outside when I hide these eggs.”
“Okay,” he said.
“Haley and Alexis, you stay inside on this floor, if I catch any of you looking outside, there will not be any eggs and I will just give it all to charity for children who don’t get an Easter,” Christina threatened.
“Not all kids get Easter?” Haley asked.
“Nope they don’t,” said Christina shaking her head. “You kids are lucky to have one and you don’t want to throw it all away from being a peeping tom because if I catch any heads at the window, I will gather up all these eggs and give them to those children and they will be so happy.”
We went outside and I looked at the windows and didn’t see them looking outside.
“Were you really going to give these eggs away or was that just a bluff?” I asked.
“I was serious,” she said.
“Are there really charities for kids who don’t get an Easter?” I asked.
“I don’t know, I just said that. I can give them away to a charity shop and someone will buy them.”
We started to hide the eggs and I kept looking at our windows for any heads. I hid some in the flowers, behind the storage shed and garden shed, I hid one by the patio and I put one right outside the kitchen window in the flowers planted in the flower box. I saw Christina hiding an egg in a tree.


After we were done, we went back inside and I started to tell Alexis and Haley the eggs were ready.
“No no no, not yet, let’s wait until your cousin gets here,” said Christina.
Luckily they didn’t hear because they asked me “what?” and I told them “never mind.”
I played more on my phone and then Tristian was hungry again and I had to feed him again so he ate more of his Easter snacks. I checked my messages again to see if Lisa had sent me anything to let me know where she is and when she would be here by. I sent her a text instead asking “are you coming? Where are you?”
“Is your cousin coming?” Christina asked.
“I don’t know,” I said.
I realized right away I sounded mad because I was upset she hadn’t come yet.
Daddy and Christina kept cooking while Haley and Alexis played and Landon was still playing my Switch.
I tried to not let myself get too upset and I decided to just go on with my day and pretend she never came here and I wasn’t expecting her. I used my phone as a distraction.
“Natalie, do you think you can set the table for us using my special dishes I have?” Christina asked.
I put my phone down and got the plates out of her dish cabinet in the dining room and put the plates on the table and then I was done.
“Don’t forget the special silverware and the cups and the saucers and the napkins,” said Christina.
I got those out too and finished setting the table. I didn’t bother leaving one for Lisa assuming she wasn’t coming. If she did come, we would get an extra one out for her.
“Natalia you only set the table for six,” said Daddy.
“I don’t even know if she is coming,” I said.
“Don’t forget to clean the high chair.”
I had to get a rag and wipe the high chair down and wipe the tray.
“Oh no the battery is running dead,” said Landon and he put the screen back on the Switch dock and left it there.
Then he was talking on his phone to his Mum about Easter.
“Hey Mum, what are you up to?...We’re going to eat soon and Natalie is expecting a family member to come. I think a cousin from her Mum’s side….well it’s kind of complicated, they have never even met and her Mum and her Mum don’t know each other….They’re divorced so they never met… she hid the eggs with Christina and we are going to look for them soon. I’ve been playing Natalie’s Nintendo Switch and the Zelda game is fun.”
I took Tristian upstairs with me to plug my phone back in and I did my computer. Lately my computer had been getting a black screen and Chrome had been crashing on me lately or freezing. I wasn’t sure if it was a virus or if because the space was full but I had my other computer for back up.
Soon I heard a doorbell and I figured that must be Lisa. I took Tristian and brought him downstairs and I saw someone had already answered the door because there I saw a young lady in our hallway and Christina came in the hallway and introduced herself as my cousin. They shook hands and I said to her “It’s about time, you’re late.”
“I know, I got behind and the subways were crowded.”
“Everyone must be going somewhere for Easter,” I said.
Lisa had brown hair and it was long and she had a normal sized body and she was average height. I had seen photos of her on Facebook and this was my first time ever meeting her in person. All those years lost.
We went in the living room and I introduced her to Landon and Haley and Alexis and to my husband and to Tristian. Then I didn’t know what to do so I went back to what I was doing in my room. Lisa still didn’t have a clue about my nappies and my medical condition. But maybe she did since I have posted about incontinence on my Facebook and I am on some pages about it and ABDL ones about ABDL nappies and I don’t really hide my problem anymore. I just never told her about it and she never asked. I just like to try and spread awareness about it to try and make nappies more socially acceptable and incontinence less taboo. But I don’t go around telling people I wear them and talking about my incontinence unless it comes up and most people don’t even care. I am sure our neighbors know too but they have never said anything. I just assume they don’t know.
I spent some time on my computer while Lisa visited downstairs. My tummy grumbled because I was hungry.
Tristian played on the floor and then I held him again to nurse him. He was squirmy and he didn’t nurse long and he was back to playing and playing with the blanket on Daddy’s bed. It was real quiet downstairs but I figured everyone had stopped talking and didn’t have anything else to say or they just quieted down.
Then soon I heard my name being called by Daddy so I went downstairs and I saw Haley and Alexis with their Easter baskets with the eggs they got found in the garden.
“You guys did the Easter Egg hunt? Why didn’t anyone tell me?” I asked.
“You were upstairs,” said Christina.
“No one’s ever told me they were going to look for the eggs,” I said.
“Well you shouldn’t have been upstairs or else you will miss out on everything.”
I guess I was being punished for being in my room to keep myself from being bored because it was where my computer was.
There was already food on the dining room table and Daddy made Tristian a plate and Christina told Haley and Alexis to get to the table. I sat down and so did Lisa.
“Natalie, get out another plate for Lisa,” said Christina.
I got up and got out an extra plate and set it on the table.
“Don’t forget the rest,” said Christina.
I had to bring out extra silverware and a cup and napkin and saucer and I set those down.
Daddy finished bringing food to the table and he sat down and everyone else was already seated.
“Okay let’s say some prayers,” said Christina.
We all held hands and closed our eyes and she started to pray to god literally. Christina is a little religious so we always have to pray whenever we eat dinner or any special meals and we all have to hold hands and close our eyes while she says the prayers. Then she said “amen” and Daddy repeated and so did Lisa and then me. Thank god she didn’t decide to go to church.
The food was a mixture of Indian and British food. Lisa made a comment about the food and Christina explained her Mum’s family was from India and they had moved here in the sixties and her Mum had met my Dad’s brother Uncle Bob and they had her and her sister here.
“Isn’t it something,” I said. “My dad met my mother who is American and had us in the US and my Dad’s brother also met an immigrant except she was Indian and they had kids here. So two immigrants in the family. I sometimes wished I grew up here instead. It’s so much better than the US.”
“But we’re a free country,” said Lisa.
“But your healthcare sucks and everyone is covered here and housing is better for people in need and their programs for people in need and gun laws are very strict and police are better here and so are the prisons,” I said. “I am so glad I moved here.”
“But you guys get terrorists attacks.”
“So do you,” I pointed out.
“Not all the time. I heard of two of them last Month. One bombing and one running people over and you nearly died in one of them.”
We ate and I had some of the Indian food and I also had English food like a hot cross bun and roasted lamb. I also had ham and then I was done eating because I was full and for a Easter drink I had a fizz.
I cleared my spot and went back up to my room. I got my phone and brought it down and looked on the internet.

When more people got finished eating, Christina asked everyone if we wanted simnel cake and she had also made gulab jamun. I wanted both of them.
Guleb Jamun is one of Christina’s Indian foods, her mum always made it when she was little. My Dad rarely made anything British for us so all we ate was American food and nothing ever from Great Britain only. It would be occasion when Dad would actually make something different and told us it was something people have back in his home country. He even dried our clothes there too instead of hanging them to dry but the only culture he kept was his drinking. Drinking is more acceptable here so back in the US lot of Brits here would be considered alcoholics so no wonder he would always go to the pub after work and drink and he also drank at home. I remembered the days of always seeing him with a beer can or with a beer bottle.
Christina got out the desserts and I got my saucer and served myself both desserts. I also gave Tristian a piece of simnel cake.
Haley and Alexis had simnel cake and Lisa tried both.
After everyone got done having their desserts, Christina told me it’s my turn to do the kitchen because she did all the cooking. Lisa offered to help so we both cleaned it together. I asked her about her life and her family. Lisa had two other siblings and she was the oldest and her mom was born in 1966 and she had her when she was 23. Lisa was still in college studying to be a nurse and would be graduating next year. She was attending college in Kansas. I gave her the edited version of my life leaving out the bad stuff and making myself sound normal by only talking about the good stuff. I didn’t feel comfortable talking about being different and talk about my problems I had as a child and I didn’t tell her about my dad being an alcoholic or having OCD and my mom having autism and my parents’ marital problems and my mum always having problems with knowing when her bladder is full and having accidents sometimes so she had to go on schedule. I also didn’t tell her about Kelly disowning Mum. Lisa knew mine were divorced and I only said they grew out of each other because they were young when they met and married. Lot of people get divorced so I wasn’t embarrassed about it but I still didn’t have two houses because my mom lived in a flat and it was too small for us three children to live there so we lived with Dad in the same house. I also didn’t get a step family so I was no Karen Brewer. Mum had instead met a woman who was in a domestic abusive relationship and she let her stay with her so she could get away and she had PTSD. Mum supposedly had it too from her childhood but I never heard about it often and no one ever talked about it. It didn’t seem to affect her as a parent. I sometimes think many people diagnose themselves with it so I have a hard time taking it seriously. Does someone really have PTSD or do they just have a hard time getting over something and have hurt feelings about it still? Just because someone reminds you of something negative in your life doesn’t mean it’s PTSD. It’s like how people say they are OCD because they like things neat or organized or can’t stand something out of order. Unless they have a diagnoses, I won’t take them seriously just like I don’t take anyone seriously when they claim to be autistic and they have no diagnoses. Lisa told me she also didn’t take anyone seriously either and told me a story about someone in her class talking about having Bipolar so she told them “Wow, that is horrible, I hope you are doing well with it, when were you diagnosed?” and that person goes “Oh I never was, I only found out by reading about it online” and Lisa was like ‘Oh my god’ in her head. Then that classmate talked about their mood swings and stuff but Lisa thought that stuff was just normal and called being a woman. Plus she had never seen her have mania or seen her sudden mood change and she wasn’t taking any medication for her “disorder” so it was fair she was judging her and the fact she wasn’t seeking counseling for her “mood swings.” If her mood swings were really that bad, she would be trying to seek help for it than bragging about it in class and no one talks about their disorders in front of everyone and she just wanted attention. I told Lisa the time when I thought briefly I had Borderline Personality Disorder after seeing Girl Interrupted so my dad told me to just talk to my therapist about it and then I decided I didn’t have it because I didn’t want another label and now I think it was just me being a teenager and just my anxiety because no way would it appear just like that and disappear all of a sudden without any therapy or self-improvement. Lisa was glad I was smart. I told her I was guilty of doing the self-diagnosing in high school but I didn’t go around telling everyone about my self-disorders but it turned out all my self-diagnoses were correct anyway. Lisa told me it’s fine when you are trying to find answers and if you think that is what is going on, go to a doctor about it.
“Yeah if something isn’t impacting your life, then you most likely don’t have it,” I said. “But here is where it gets confusing, some people do managed to get diagnosed but their condition doesn’t impact their life because they can still function.”
“Some people compensate,” said Lisa. “Some manage their illness well with medication”
“Have you ever heard of neurodiversity?” I asked.
“No,” she said.
“It’s something autistic people started I think in the nineties and it’s evolved to other disorders as well like ADHD, learning disorders, mental illnesses and it’s about accepting their disorders and not try to change it or cure it and some people with autism believe their problems are because of other people not accepting them.”
“Oh god,” said Lisa.
“I say if their problem is with people not being tolerant of them, then they are not autistic by medical definition because clearly their autism doesn’t give them any issues except bigotry but even normal people have a hard time fitting in too and being accepted if they are a bit different. But I still wonder how they even get diagnosed if their problems are with people not accepting them unless they are in denial of their problems and playing the victim but at least autistic people disagree it’s a difference than a disability and ones who call it a difference probably don’t really have it and they are just self-diagnosed or misdiagnosed as having it. Your symptoms have to impair you and affect your functioning and it’s stated in the criteria too in the DSM so it doesn’t matter how many symptoms you have.”
“I think too many children get diagnosed with it these days,” said Lisa. “Schools get funding and so do therapists and with too many children being hooked on electronics instead of parents playing with their kids, doctors are going to put the label on them so they will get funding to help them so they can catch up.”
“And then they are cured,” I said.
“Yep. I grew up without a TV set because my mom took it out when I was little.”
“How did you guys watch the news?”
“Newspapers or the radio.”
What did you guys do without TV?”
“Played outside, hung out with our friends, played boards games or did puzzles, played with our toys, read.”
“What did your parents do?”
“They had friends and they read or cleaned or cooked and they also spent time with us.”
“Did you have computer?”
“Yeah but it didn’t have internet. We had computer games but they were all educational.”
“And you had no video games either I suppose?”
“Nope.”
“Why did your mom take out the TV set and what did she do with it?”
“I have no idea, got rid of it I think and she didn’t want us watching TV and having to argue with us about it and hear us whine so she took it out before I was old enough to even want to watch it.”
“But didn’t you guys whine about not having a TV set and other kids did?” I asked.
“You can’t whine about something you don’t even miss.”
“But didn’t you see your friends having them and didn’t it make you want one too? What about video games? Other kids had to have been talking about them in school or asking you about them.”
“You can’t miss what’s never been in your home so if other kids talked about it, I didn’t care because I didn’t miss it.”
“And you didn’t envy them and wanting to watch TV shows they are watching?”
“Nope. I didn’t have a TV set at home so I didn’t know any different.”
“Didn’t you get teased about it?”
“Nope, well maybe sometimes because they would be wondering how can I not be watching a popular TV show and I would tell them we didn’t have a TV set.”
“And no one teased you about it?”
“No, why would they?”
“Because kids are mean and they like to tease you about anything.”
“I don’t think so.”
“I guess you need to have a disability then and look normal for them to tease you about anything.”


We got finished with the dishes and washing the counters and putting food away that was leftover. Daddy had been taking care of Tristian and he handed him back to me. Landon was back to Playing Breath of the Wild.
“You can actually do Guardian tipping,” said Landon.
“What?” Lisa asked.
“Guardian tipping, it’s an enemy in this game and I ran into one of them with my horse and it flipped over.”
I looked at the screen and I didn’t see the enemy tipped over. It looked like a spider because it had legs and it was weird looking. It had one eye and the body was red and black. Landon attacked it again by shooting it in the eye with his arrow and then attacking it on his horse and he ran into it again.
“C’mon tip,” he said.
He kept attacking it on his horse and then he jumped up in the air and then the whole ground froze while he was in the air and he aimed at the guardian again shooting arrows at it. Then he landed on the ground and died. He started the game again on his horse.
“I am trying to get to the castle but there are so many Guardians,” said Landon.
Link also didn’t have on his normal tunic because he had on long pants and a shirt and it was brown. Link was still an adult in this game than a child but this time he didn’t have on his tunic like he would in the other games.
“He looks like an elf,” said Lisa.
“He’s a Hylian,” I said.
“A what?”
“That is what they are called, they are like humans but they’re called Hylians and they live in a different dimension. There are also other living creatures that are like human like Zoras, Gorons, Gerudos, and Ritos,” said Landon.
“And Kokiris,” I said. “And Dekus.”
“And Koroks,” said Landon.
“I have no idea what any of those are,” said Lisa.
“A Zora are living creatures that live in the water and they are like fish but they function like human and Gorons are made out of rock but they live in the volcano region and they eat rocks as their food and Gerudos are like human but they are more tan and have pointed noses and they live in the desert and Kokiris are just children and they never age and a Deku are trees that are like human because they move around like we do but they are made out of wood.”
“Oh like Pinocchio,” said Lisa.
“Pinocchio is a puppet and Dekus are not,” I said. They live like humans but they are basically made out of wood and they have round noses and spit out of their noses as their weapon.”
“And a Korok are tiny trees that live like human and they have leaves as their faces,” Landon added.
I figure Zelda takes place in a different universe so they are all different living creatures and it’s possible there is life in other solar systems but it would take generations to get there. Zelda would be one of them if it were real. But they live like it’s the 1600’s so who knows what year it is. They also don’t even have electricity so they use fire or gas. I found out not too long ago London still uses gas in their streetlamps because they never put power in them so they have people go around lighting them at night. I wonder if any homes in London still use gas.

Lisa stayed until the evening and she left to go back to her dorm. She said bye to all of us and told me it was great meeting me.
“Are you going to meet my other siblings or try and meet my aunts and uncles and my grandmother?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I saw you only because you live here and I came here for school.”
“You can come by any time to visit,” I said. “If you want to do anything together, let me know, I’m not working. Also if you want to meet my dad and my half brother, let me know.”
Lisa walked outside and she walked down the street.


Daddy was back to his old habit again being on his computer again working so Landon just passed time with Zelda. I decided to pass some time by looking for a new job. I looked on Craigslist and that wasn’t the best place to look. Too much porn spam. I look at Gumtree. I clicked Jobs and looked. I could probably do housekeeping and cleaning since that doesn’t require any education. I book marked some job listings and looked for other listings. I made sure they were all listed for my area. I looked at general jobs and media.
Man job hunting is so hard. I would do any job I could do that didn’t require an education but lot of jobs listed are professional jobs or just jobs listing the same thing and it was all house cleaning and modeling. I wondered how I would work with Tristian. I wonder if we could also afford a nanny. I would ask Daddy when he gets home and see how he feels. I would worry about hiring a nanny later.
I could work in a restaurant or I could work in a super market or in a store, I could maybe do modeling and they can always hide my ugly cars with the computer and heavy make-up or I could try acting again or being an extra, I could be a housekeeper cleaning hotel rooms or be a janitor. I could also try working in a fast food restaurant or in a coffee shop again.
I looked on fish4jobs. I kept bookmarking jobs for me to look at later. Then I decided to take a break.

When Daddy came home, I talked to him about me getting a job and who would take care of Tristian.
“You don’t need to work,” he said again. “You can take care of him.”
“But I want to work but my concern is who would watch him in the day time? Can we afford a sitter?”
“It depends how many hours you work” said Daddy.
“What if I worked full time?” I asked.
“I don’t think you would be able to handle full time, you couldn’t even handle it when we lived in my flat.”
“Yes I did,” I said.
“No you couldn’t and it’s different now because you have Tristian.”
“How do you know I wouldn’t be able to handle full time work and Tristian at the same time?” I asked.
“Because you would sometimes come home crying and you were always stressed out and you acted like you wanted to break up with me.”
“What if I worked part time again, can we afford that?” I asked.
“Yes I think we can afford a part time nanny if that is what you want but things would be tighter around here, we wouldn’t have as much money. I still think you should stay home and take care of Tristian.”
“Isn’t money tight already without me working?” I asked.
“Not really but childcare is expensive so if you work, you would basically be making nothing,” Daddy warned.
I decided I better look at nanny websites to see how much they charge per hour so I could figure out if I should work or not or I could find an evening job again.
Daddy got close to my ear and said “You’re my little girl and I take care of everything. I take care of my babies. You get to stay home and play with your brother and play around the house all day and you can play in the garden.”
I knew he meant daily living stuff like laundry or dishes or sweeping and being a mum.
“Why do I feel you don’t want me working?” I said.
“It’s not that I don’t want you to work, I just don’t think you need to work. I think it would be a waste of money to hire someone to watch Tristian while you are out working and I don’t think you would make any extra if it will all go to childcare.”
“But you aren’t being supportive so it feels you are trying to keep me from getting a job,” I said.
“Sorry,” he said. “I don’t know what to tell you if I think you should stay home and take care of Tristian.”
“Well help me get a nanny or something if I do find a job.”
“Okay, I will warn you though that if you do find a job and we hire a nanny, we might not be able to afford ABDL nappies because those are expensive and having a nanny might use up your whole paycheck and it might go over unless you find a high paying job.”
“That would be cool,” I said.
“But what job is out there for you to do that is high pay? All of them you have to go to school for and all the non-degree jobs pay low. But I don’t understand why you want a job so badly? We have money.”
“I feel like a burden,” I said.
“You are not a burden, why do you feel that way, come upstairs to our room.”
I went upstairs to our bedroom and Daddy had me lay down with him on his bed.
“Why do you think you’re a burden?” he asked.
“Because I feel like I will be lazy and you will get mad at me for not trying hard and that anything I will do won’t be good enough,” I said.
“You’re always good enough.”
“But guys out there would want their woman to have jobs and do more,” I said. “I have seen it online.”
“But are those women normal? Do they have a disability?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
“See, they probably don’t have one so of course their partners would want them to do more. You do as much as you can. I don’t see you as a burden and I never will. Just don’t neglect our son.”
“It’s just that my dad has said things about me like how close to normal I am or how I am so normal and how I had a normal childhood.”
“He’s your father so he is going to think that so to him you’re perfect.”
“And also he says how I can do anything and the reason why people with disabilities have succeeded in life is because they don’t use their disability as an excuse and here I am and I can’t even do college and it makes me feel I didn’t try hard enough and I must be using mine as an excuse.”
“Maybe you should tell him how you feel when he says that to you.”
“Maybe,” I said. “I sometimes wonder if he is secretly disappointed in me and thinks I could have done better and I wonder if he thinks I have used my disability as an excuse to not go to college and get a better paying job so I could be even more successful.”
“That is why I think you should talk to him when he says that to you so he knows how it makes you feel. Maybe he isn’t meaning to make you feel that way.”
“I wonder if he thinks all the other people with disabilities who look normal but are struggling to keep a job or getting one or going to college are all using their disabilities as an excuse?” I said.
“That is why I say you should talk to him.”
I felt too nervous to even bother calling him right now to even ask him about this. Maybe I will mention this next time this topic comes up. I also sometimes feel like a fraud because I was on disability getting payments from the government and I shouldn’t even have been on it since I am so close to normal and if I am normal, maybe I am just not trying hard enough and I am just too lazy. I sometimes feel useless to society but at least I am not collecting disability anymore because of Daddy’s income so I am not taking anyone’s tax money and we use the money Daddy makes to buy ABDL nappies since NHS doesn’t cover it. Even if they did, it would be for my medical condition so we still wouldn’t be wasting tax money.
Pressure started to build up in my butthole and then poop was coming out. I felt my wet nappy expanding. Daddy still had me in his arms and I was touching his body with mine. He didn’t say anything about the smell. The pooping took about a few minutes and then I was done. I felt the lump in my nappy. Daddy then touched me down there and he felt the outside of the nappy and asked, “Did you poop your trousers?”
“Yes,” I said.
Daddy started to rub it against my butt and then he was rubbing my crotch and pushing the poop around.
“How big does it feel?” I asked.
“Pretty big,” he said.
Daddy kept rubbing my butt and pushing on it and I could feel the poop pushing against my butt cheeks. I also felt it pushing into my crotch.
Then he got up and told me he is getting his phone because he has something he wanted to show me.
He left and came back with his phone and I heard him type something on his phone and he handed it to me. He had his browser open and he had on Google and I saw articles posted on there. I read the links and I saw it was all about childcare. I read one of them and it was about childcare being so expensive and it had increased in the last five years, one of the parents are now staying home because it’s cheaper. I was shocked to find out our childcare was the most expensive in the world.
“It’s not that I don’t want you to work or that I am being controlling,” said Daddy. “This is where I am coming from.”
“So you’re telling me it would be cheaper if I just stayed home right?” I said.
“Yes,” said Daddy. “I think this is the best. Then when Tristian does start school full day, you can then explain your work gaps when getting a job and say you had been taking care of our son and now he is in school now so you are now going back to work.”
“Christina must be rich if she can afford a nanny and her bills,” I said.
“She lives with us so that makes her have more money and Haley and Alexis are in school full time so she doesn’t need a nanny for long. You can join mums group and you might find other ladies there who also don’t work and that might help you feel better.”
I was starting to feel happy now about not working. Maybe the terrorists didn’t make it hard for me after all. I imagined all the freedom I would have now.
“Can we still afford ABDL nappies?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Wow you must be rich,” I said.
“I make enough to pay for what we need but we’re not rich and you don’t drive the car very often and I don’t drive it often either. My work pays for my pass. You don’t need to drive Alex to school anymore, you get free nappies and free supplies with it, you don’t wear ABDL nappies all the time, we’re doing fine. We won’t have as much money but we’ll be fine.”
Daddy then changed my nappy and it felt so good having my butt get wiped. Then I heard him take out another wipe and he wiped my butt more. My vagina was farting.
He used a lot of wipes and then he pulled the nappy away and let go of my legs and he rolled it up and put it on the floor. He then put a clean nappy under me and he put rash cream on my bottom and wiped the rest in my nappy and put it on me. He then threw my used nappy away and washed his hands. Then I had to go downstairs back to Tristian.


End of the week came and Landon had to go home back to his mother’s house. He packed his things and left. I said bye to him and I started to play my file again after saving his game and exiting it and starting the game again under my file.

End