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Post by Bad Beth on Mar 5, 2015 23:27:24 GMT
Chapter 5
“No no no,” Dad said to all of us. Mom was holding the dog after he had come inside from being outside to go pee or poo. “We already have three animals, we don’t need another one.” “These dogs here don’t shed,” said Mom. “You have to take that dog to the vet to get it licensed, you have to feed it, you have to give it shots, I’m sorry but we can’t have another animal, our money is tight and what happens when it gets sick.” “What happens if our other animals get sick?” said Kelly. “It’s illogical to say we can’t have this puppy because what if he gets sick because what if our other animals get sick? We’re not getting rid of them so why get rid of this one?” “Yeah,” I said. “Oh yeah,” said Matthew. “Would you make us get rid of our other pets?” Mom asked. “But we would have to house train it and I am not taking care of another dog,” said Dad. “You don’t even take care of our other pets so why would you take care of this one?” Mom asked. “I don’t want poop and pee all over and having our house smell like dog piss and then having to hire professional carpet cleaners like we had to with this one,” Dad pointed at Skippy. “We’ll take better care of it,” said Mom. “We will try and make sure he goes outside and he won’t go inside and every time he has an accident, we’ll clean it up. Don’t worry you won’t have to take care of him.” “But we can’t have another dog, this isn’t the right time. It’s the holiday, I have to pay back all the fines.” “Have any of our animals ever gotten sick?” Mom asked. “We had to get our cats spade so that counts and the time one of them cut their paws and it bled so we had to take her to the vet.” “And all we had to do was soak it and wrap it in bandage,” said Mom. “We had to take Skippy in to check him out to see if he is healthy because he is a pure bred and we would like him to have puppies,” said Dad. “Dad, this was my birthday and our Christmas present,” said Kelly. Just when did she like her gift after all? “And your mum never consulted me when she was entering that damn drawing.” “I didn’t think I would win,” said Mom. “You kept putting your name on every ticket,” Dad pointed out. “So obviously you wanted the dog.” “That dog needed a home or else he would put to sleep if no one wanted him and I didn’t see anyone entering their name so I had to save this poor animal and he is so cute.” Mom was rubbing the dog and kissing it like it was her own child. Mom really liked him and Skippy was lying on the floor not even looking. He wasn’t wagging his tail or nothing, he was just lying there. Dad sighed. “Okay, if this animal gives me any trouble, he is gone and promise me no more pets.” “Oh thank you Daddy,’ said Kelly and she hugged him. Matthew jumped and cheered. I joined in and I jumped up and down and cheered and was shaking my head and squealing. “So we have a deal, no more animals?” Dad asked. “Yes,” we all said. “What we find an injured animal?” Mom asked. “Then we bring it to the vet and leave it and have them take care of it,” said Dad. “Then they can take it to the animal shelter.” “What about abandoned animals?” Matthew asked. “You take them to the shelter,” said Dad. The dog was whimpering. Mom put him down and he wandered around the room. “That dog looks nervous than hell,” said Dad. “That’s because he is used to being locked up and now he has all this open space to run around in,” said Mom. The dog whimpered some more. Mom went in the kitchen and she opened the microwave and pulled out the cake she had made. It was shaped like a rectangle and it had white frosting on it with flowers and it said Happy 13th Birthday Kelly. “You made that?” I asked. “Yes,” said Mom. “I took the day off to make this which she wasn’t very pleased about,” Mom looked at Kelly. “You really made that?” Kelly asked. “Yes Kelly I did.” “How did you do the writing?” Dad asked. “I borrowed the supplies from Jolene. Now they are in the sink soaking.” “That’s impressive.” “It looks like a real cake almost,” said Kelly. “How long did it take to make this?” Matthew asked. “Five hours,” said Mom. “That’s why I was a little upset when Kelly said I couldn’t be bothered to spend any money on her. I worked hard on this and I was trying to have it be a surprise and Kelly thought I forgot about her birthday and was mad at me about it this morning and I couldn’t even tell her. I thought kids liked surprises.” “I didn’t even know you did this,” said Kelly. “I just thought you forgot because you never seem to care and you never even show it even if you do decide to do things like this.” “That’s why it’s called a surprise, you aren’t supposed to know about it,” said Mom. “I think you owe your mother an apology,” said Dad. “Sorry,” said Kelly. “Mum loves you so much she baked a homemade cake because of the financial mess I am in and she still wanted you to have a birthday. She even tried to make it look professional.” “Okay now stop making me feel so guilty about all this,” Kelly shouted. “I hope you learned your lesson and won’t do it again.” Mom went to the drawer and got out a butter knife. “Mom, where are the candles?” Kelly asked. “Oh shute, I hope we have some around.” ‘You mean you forgot the candles?” Kelly asked. “Kelly, the cake is all that counts,” said Dad. “We can get any candle around here and stick them on the cake if you want to blow some out.” Mom looked in one of the drawers and she found some candles including the number three. Mom didn’t have enough for thirteen so she used the number three that was from her last birthdate this past summer and she put one of the little candles on the cake next to the three making it a one. It then said 13 on it even though it didn’t look like it. We all started to sing Happy Birthday and Matthew said Cha cha cha. “…Happy birthday dear Kelly.” “Cha cha cha.” “Happy birthday to you.” “Cha cha cha.” Kelly paused and blew out the candles. Then we took them off the cake and Mom started to cut the cake. I had the biggest piece because I love cake frosting. It didn’t taste as good as the one in the store. Then mom left the kitchen after she got done with her cake. She stuck the saucer in the sink with the fork. “I think I will hang onto your mother for a while,” said Dad. “What do you mean Dad?” Matthew asked. “I was teasing your sister after the concert. I told her I should trade her for Jason’s Mum,” Dad explained. “But I don’t think she would make this good of cake.” I felt upset for not knowing Dad was teasing, I was so stupid. “God I’m so stupid for not knowing you were teasing,” I shouted. “Natalie, say three good things about yourself,” said Dad. “No,” I said. “I’m stupid because I can’t even tell when someone is teasing me.” “Say three good things.” Here I was stuck, I had to now lie and say three good things about myself. There was nothing good about me. I am a horrible horrible person and I am meant to not be a good person. “Natalie now,” Dad ordered. I didn’t know anything good about myself. I had to lie again. “I am loyal, I like to help people, I like to make people happy.” “Good,” said Dad. I felt relieved it was over. I wondered what Kelly was thinking of me but hopefully she understood I was being forced to say good things so I had to say stuff. “So what was with the tease about trading our mom for his mom?” Kelly asked. “She has far better social skills and she is easier to talk to and she can work but don’t either of you ever tell Mum I said this or ever tell her I did that tease, it will really upset her and hurt her feelings and then it would be really hard to get her to understand and calm down.” “I hope she isn’t hearing this,” I said. Dad finished the rest of his cake and put it in the sink. Then Mom came back down with a little present. She handed it to Kelly. “So you did get me something,” said Kelly. “It wouldn’t be a surprise if you knew,” said Mom. “I can’t believe you. You had me be mad at you all day and I had Natalie join in and you didn’t even bother to tell me you didn’t forget my birthday and you did get me something and a cake.” “That’s why it’s a surprise. I knew once you see all this, you wouldn’t be mad at me anymore. You do like surprises don’t you?” Kelly didn’t answer and she said “never mind,” instead. Kelly opened it and it was a gift card for Fred Meyer. “I didn’t want you to hate my present again so I got you that instead,” said Mom. Mom is a disaster at giving us presents so Dad always does it and he helps her with it but when she does it alone, it’s always something we don’t like. “How much did you put on this card?” Kelly asked. “Ten.” “Ten dollars,” Kelly cried. “You gave me ten dollars for my birthday? That is barely anything.” “Now Kelly I am sure you can find a good item for under ten at Fred Meyers,” said Dad. “You used to get ten dollars for your birthday from my sisters or from Grandma Del,” said Mom. “That was when I was little and different relatives gave me money, this is only one,” said Kelly. “Kelly, you are being very rude,” Dad scolded. “Mum got you that gift card so you are supposed to be very thankful, it’s the thought that counts. Do I need to start teaching you some social skills?” “Well I did my best,” said Mom. “Sorry you don’t like the card.” “Now see what you did,” said Dad. “Did you get me a present besides Natalie and Mom?” Kelly asked. “Actually I did,” said Dad. Dad got out his checkbook and he started to write a check. He ripped it from the book and gave it to Kelly saying, “Now you have twenty.” “You didn’t get me any presents but this check you just gave me?” “I don’t have my driver’s license so this is what I can do,” said Dad. Kelly left her check on the table and she scooped the rest of her cake back on the plate. I looked at the check and Dad had written it out for ten dollars. Kelly grabbed her check and went upstairs with it. This was a bad birthday because Kelly didn’t get any good presents, I felt sorry for her. Mom got her shoes on again and took the dog outside again. “You kids better help Mum take good care of that puppy,” said Dad.
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Post by Bad Beth on Mar 18, 2015 17:34:53 GMT
Chapter 6
That dog cried and squealed in the middle of the night. Is this why people didn’t want him? I heard Dad get out of bed and leaving the master bedroom. I knew it was him because I can tell by the sound of his footsteps. I later heard the door open. I lied in bed holding my Teletubby. Then the door opened again and I heard Dad moving down there and then he came back upstairs. Not too long later, the dog started squealing again. The master bedroom door opened again and he marched downstairs and I heard Dad shout, “Shut up” and I heard him kick the kennel. Dad came back upstairs again and the dog still squealed and barked and whimpered. I bet he hated being in that cage. Skippy never did that. Then later someone got up again and this time it was Mom. I heard her do something down there and the whimpering stopped; everything. Then the master bedroom door closed again. Then later the barking and the squealing started again. This time more bedroom doors opened. “That animal is already giving me trouble and I have to get up for work,” said Dad. I heard Matthew talking too. I got out of bed myself and went in the hallway. “What’s wrong with the doggy?” I asked. “I think he’s lonely,” said Mom. “He has already been outside and he didn’t go so at least I know he doesn’t have to go to the bathroom. “ Dad was already downstairs. Mom went down there too. I went downstairs and got a glass of water. Mom decided to move the puppy to the laundry room but Dad protested about the possibility of the puppy might pee on our laundry so Mom said she would pick the linen off the floor and set them on the washing machine and dryer. I heard them move the laundry baskets on top of them and Dad closed the laundry room door locking in the dogs. “There, this will solve everything,” said Dad. We all went back to bed.
I woke up to Mom pulling the covers off me and she started to tickle me. It’s painful, I am very ticklish and she also grabbed my foot and tickled it. I wriggled and squirmed and then I heard her going to my closet and grabbing a clean diaper. Then she placed it under me pushing me aside and had it under me. She started taking it off and then she was cleaning me up with a wet cold wipe. Then she said “You have a little bit of poop” and she kept on wiping me. Then she removed my used diaper and taped the clean one on me. She got me dressed and then left my room. I had to take down my wet diaper because Mom had left it on my bed again. I looked inside it and didn’t see any poop except for on the wipe. I washed my hands in the kitchen sink and had breakfast. The new dog was wandering around the main floor. He whimpered a little bit. He had left an interesting present in the laundry room Mom had told me about when she was getting me up for school. Dad was not happy about it but she cleaned it up and reminded him he was just a puppy and at least it was on hard surface than on the rug. I don’t know why she had to share this with me but okay. Yeah dogs pee in the house and poop when they are little so we have to teach them to go outside. I wondered if anyone else who ever had him taught him to go out. Mom then picked the dog up and tossed it in the air and going “swoosh” and catching him like he was a baby. Kelly who was eating her breakfast just sighed. “Is it just me or does Mom act real motherly towards that puppy?” she asked. “Puppies are so cute,” I said. “Remember when Skippy was a puppy and when Mittens and Princess were kittens, they were so much fun then to play with.” “But she treats him like he is her own baby,” said Kelly. “So, what is your point?” “Mom, did you play with us that way when we were babies?” Kelly asked. Mom didn’t answer because she was playing with the new puppy. “Mom?” Kelly said louder. Mom just looked at her and went back to looking at the puppy. “Mom, I am talking to you.” “I heard you,” said Mom. “Did you play with us that way when we were babies?” “You mean how I am playing with him now? Yes.” “So you were actually a mother then and then you turned into this other person.” “I didn’t change Kelly, you did, all you kids did.” “Of course, all kids change, it’s called growing up but you obviously have never grown up.” “I have never really gown up since fifth grade,” said Mom. “Except for being book smart and getting these and this and that and this,” Mom was pointing to her body including her breasts. “And living in the adult world and having sex and having kids and raising them and overcoming my bedwetting and wetting problems which have returned on a daily basis no thanks to your Dad’s drinking.” Mom went back to playing with our new dog. Kelly got close to me and said “She may be book smart but she is street stupid.” “How is she street stupid?” I asked. “Shhh,” Kelly hissed. “It’s just a figure of speech, it means she isn’t smart like other people, she needs Dad to help her and she can’t figure out what people are telling her, she isn’t good with people, she doesn’t know how to act, she doesn’t know how to care, and she didn’t get how upset I was yesterday because she thought she was surprising me.” She signed. “She will never be street smart.” “Why?” “Ask me after school I have to get ready,” said Kelly. She got up and put the bowl in the sink and went upstairs. Mom still played with the dog. Dad describes Mom as being a big kid and I see you don’t even need to be retarded to still be a child. But I wonder if she is retarded too like me but Dad says we’re not. I wonder what is the difference between being retarded and acting like one but not being retarded. I wonder what the difference is being retarded and not being retarded but still need lot of help with your schoolwork. I was told last year by my Junior High school counselor that people with mental retardation have gaps in their learning and I do not. They don’t get all the information when they get it and I do but how can you tell if something is a gap or if someone is really getting all the information but still acting like there are gaps. What is the difference between a learning disability and being retarded? I wonder if you can be retarded and still know a lot. I wonder if any retarded people drive because if any of them do, that means I could still be retarded. I wonder if any retarded people ever act normal. Can any retarded people cook and manage money and balance a checkbook? I was so confused. I got myself ready and I played my game in the den. This time it was another game instead of The World is Not Enough. I didn’t like having to play the levels and then having to replay them again. I put in GoldenEye and the graphics looked terrible. Electronic Arts did a better job than Rareware did. I did paintball mode and shot bad guys on the dam level. Then I heard the doorbell ring and I knew it was my ride. Mom called my name. I turned the game off and the TV and grabbed my stuff I left lying in the hallway. Mom had the dog out in the living room with her she was working in. He was whimpering again as I left while he was wandering around the living room. His whimpers sounded like squeaks. I went to the van and got in. “We got a new dog,” I said. “Cool,” said Cindy. “What type of dog is it?” “A Schnauzer,” I said. “How big is it?” Brian asked. “Small,” I said. “About this big.” I used my hands to describe the size. “Do you know how big it’s going to get?” “No,” I said. I rested on the way to school as we picked up Jerry, Lauren, Gracie, and Lonnie. We got to school and everyone got out. Mrs. Robinson was waiting for me right by the front entrance. She walked with me to my locker. I put my stuff in there and went to English. I saw Ms. Larson and went up to her. She was at her desk working while a few kids were drawing on the whiteboard. I saw Lee Wong doing helicopter with his ruler. He was recently back after being absent for a few weeks. He had refused to go to school because he didn’t like our last teacher we had and then she had quit so Mrs. Larson had taken her spot until our real teacher comes back. Everyone likes her and some kids think she is strict but she isn’t. I worked on my word search again until class started. Mrs. Larson did roll call and set the binder by the door on the little table. Lee was still doing a helicopter and Ms. Larson never told him to stop. We did DOL and I got to do the corrections again for the first one. dr and mrs j r stone went to everglades national park in florida I capitalized Dr. and Mrs and put a period after Mrs and Dr and capitalize JR and Stone and capitalized the park name and the state. It became: Dr. and Mrs. J.R. Stone went to Everglades National Park in Florida. Then I set the marker down and went back to my seat and Alyssa had a turn with the second one. The only mistake I saw was a missing word and it was supposed to be and. “This is too easy, when will we get harder ones?” Amber asked. “I can find harder ones to give you, who else thinks these sentences are too easy?” Ms. Larson asked. I raised my hand and so did the other kids. “Okay I will try and find harder ones.” We got done with DOL and moved onto another assignment. I got done with The Giver and I decided I didn’t really like it because of the ending. I always hate cliffhangers and when the authors never tells us what happens at the end because they want us to make up our own ending. I would also hate to live in a community where no one is allowed to make their own choices and they want perfect people so they kill anyone who isn’t perfect because they are not needed. I would have probably been killed. Also people are not allowed to have their own kids, they are given a boy and a girl and a person is given a partner and careers are chosen for them when they are a 12. Birthdays don’t exist and everyone is equal. No one knows about the history of way things used to be and Jonas got really unhappy about his life when he found out how we all had choices and could choose partners and we had grandparents. The book also made me think of The Truman Show because the weather stayed the same so it was like they lived in a dome and it also made me think of Pleasantville because their world was literally black and white. I wonder how they got rid of the color. But I was so glad I got to finish the book because it got taken from me by Mrs. Trunchbull I liked to call our old teacher because she thought it was too easy for me so she gave me a harder book to read and it was 1984. I couldn’t understand what was going on in it and I couldn’t form any clear pictures in my head to understand the story. If I can’t understand what I am reading, then I get no pictures and I won’t understand it. Then when she was gone, I got to read The Giver again and I finished it. I am a pretty quick reader. Some kids were still reading their books. I hear there are kids in this school that are slow readers due to reading disabilities they have so it’s not surprising to see books below our age level. It makes me feel not so stupid when I see other kids have troubles I don’t have. This school is so small there are only two hundred and fifty six kids total so that is about thirty six per grade. I had done the math on paper before to see how many kids per grade there were. I had to take the school number of kids and divide it by seven since there are seven grades in this school and work out the problem. Matthew told me that was a story problem I did. I am not good at them because I can’t figure out if something is supposed to be adding or subtracting or dividing or multiplication and I was told story problems are abstract so that is why I have a hard time with them. They used to be real easy when I was little and the older I got, the harder they got. Jason is real good at them. He does his own math problems too because other kids are not as good at it as he is and they work too slowly for him so he works at his own pace and they do different problems than he does. When I told him how they got rid of algebra for me, he told me that sucked because they were dumbing down my work and he said if he had to do those math problems I am doing he would scream. Then he told me he got in trouble at home by his mother for telling me that about my math work and he doesn’t understand what was so wrong he said. I don’t either. Jen said it was because everyone has their own scale, some might be reading harder books than others because they are more advanced and some may be doing easier math due to a disability while others may be doing it at their grade level and Jason does his well and excels at it so he does different problems than the rest of the other kids and has his own scale so no way is anything being dumbed down for their students. But now I find my math too easy but that is okay, at least I won’t struggle in it. I had a project to do on the book and I had to find something to represent the story. Mrs. Robinson gave me some ideas. I could go online and find black and white pictures and a picture of a dome or use the movies as a reference to the book. If I have any of the movies at home, bring them in or print off pictures of them. I could also use items like a bike or a vest or bring in a stuffed animal or use a picture of a needle. Mrs. Robinson brought me to the computer lab and I got on one of the computer but I had to sign in first and write down the number of the computer I am using. Mrs. Robinson sat beside me as I went on Internet Explorer. It always felt weird using a different browser instead of AOL. I went to HotBot and Mrs. Robinson helped me find pictures for my project. I clicked on pages and looked at photos and then Mrs. Robinson told me to try typing in dome and then search. I still couldn’t find anything. Mrs. Robinson got on the computer next to mine and she got on Internet Explorer and started searching. I just kept on clicking pages. Finding pictures was so hard. There were a few other kids in the computer lab including a few from my class. There were even a list of rules on the whiteboard in the front of the room. “No talking No food or drinks No chat rooms No shockwave No videos No games School related only Please sign in and out when you are done”
I found it so hard to not talk if I am trying to do my work and I need help or how else would I get it if I can’t talk? So I talked quietly so the computer lab teacher wouldn’t hear. Mrs. Robinson talked too or else she would be ignoring me. She also talked quietly. Soon, it was time to head back. I got off the computer and signed myself out and so did Mrs. Robinson. We headed back to English for my stuff. The bell rang and I headed to the resource room. I saw Mrs. Grenzle our school psychologist was in there working with some papers. She was sitting at the same table with Racheal-Ann. She was also helping her with the papers. They were folding them and putting them in envelopes. Mr. Brooks gave me a math assignment and he also handed me a sheet with story problems. I looked at it. It was one of those riddle problems where you had to do the problems and find the answer on the side and put in the letter to see the answer to the riddle. “I think this might be something you will enjoy and it will be extra credit,” said Mr. Brooks. “You don’t have to do it and you can take your time with this and you can work on it during Christmas break. It’s algebra.” I read the first problem and I looked at the others. On the right side were the answers with letters and on the bottom were the boxes where I put the correct letter to reveal the answer. I have always loved these worksheets but they always take me too long to do them because I have to think hard and figure out the problems and I notice they have a bunch of problems in them than one problem and it’s like a puzzle but then the teacher always wants you to write out the problem correctly, not see your wrong work and that is what makes this work hard. “But I don’t know how to write out the problems,” I said. “Just do your best,” said Mr. Brooks. “But I don’t know how to do it,” I said. I can remember the time in junior high when I was only thirteen, I worked out a problem and it took me a whole week to do it on my own. I drew lines and dots and pictures and wrote down numbers and counted them and had a bunch of different problems written down for the same story problem and I turned it in with the extra papers attached and I got a F on it despite that I got the problems correct because my teacher wanted me to do them correctly. He said I got the answers right but I did the problems wrong. I thought it was horseshit so I said it out loud quoting Jack Dawson from the Titanic movie and I got detention for using bad language. Brian told me at home I am right this is all horseshit but they have the black and white rule about doing math problems so therefore I did it wrong even if I got the correct answer. I would keep on getting F’s and turning in my work late and I started to have Amy as my tutor. Mom couldn’t help me because she wasn’t good in math either and Brian was too busy with school to help me with anything and Dad was always working so he was also too busy. Mom was busy too and my work was also too hard for her. Now Amy doesn’t work for me anymore because I got kicked out of my school and got put here for kids who are different like me. We all look normal. Kids here have either been bullied out of their schools or kicked out or their parents putt them here. For me it was all three. Now I don’t have to worry about homework anymore and I got a new friend and a boyfriend. If it weren’t for a tutor, I would have fallen so behind I would have ended up repeating the same grade because I wouldn’t get all my school work done because it was too hard and I was still working on it and my school alerted my parents about my bad grades and I can remember Mom holding up my report card saying “I got this in the mail from your school and all Fs. What is going on with your grades?” and then she showed me another letter with a list of all my missing assignments and I said I wasn’t done with them yet. Mom told me I better get those grades up or she won’t let me see Titanic anymore in theaters. She knew then how it was important to me to keep seeing that movie because I was trying to see it the most than everyone else at school. It’s what all the kids were doing; we were trying to see who can see it the most before it left theaters and I joined in to be normal. Kelly was doing it too. “Don’t worry about it, you just try and figure out the problems and solve them,” said Mr. Brooks. Was he crazy? How was I going to do these problems and write out the problem correctly instead of drawing scratch pictures and writing out different math problems and writing down numbers? It was all abstract. “But I can’t do algebra,” I said. “But these are story problems,” he said. “They are not in numbers or X’s or Y’s or pies or equels or plus signs ect.” “How do you get rid of varnish?” the riddle read at the top of the paper. “You’re a smart girl, I am sure you can do this,” said Mr. Brooks. Why in the fucking hell do the grownups keep saying I am smart when kids think I am stupid and retarded? “If I am so smart, then why am I here? Why do I need help with my school work? I have to be retarded,” I cried. “Natalie, some kids learn differently than others, some need a different learning environment, and some function different than others,” said Mr. Brooks. “That doesn’t make them stupid and we don’t use that other word here.” But I still felt like I was retarded. Retarded kids always need help with their school work and they have a teacher with them always. “But I have her,” I pointed at Mrs. Robinson. “Because you can’t be in class alone without acting out or being inappropriate so she is here to help you and she takes you out of class when you need a break, some other kids here have a teacher’s aide and they are not retarded. Is Jason retarded?” Mr. Brooks asked. “No,” I said. “You know a lot of things Natalie,” said Mrs. Robison. “You know a lot about James Bond and video games, you talk none stop about them and you know how to use the computer, you’re very good in Spanish and memorizing things, everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses so you can’t be good in everything.” “I think it’s time you remove that word from your vocabulary and extend it,” said Mrs. Grenzle. “I agree, Natalie, I think it’s time you start thinking of a different word,” said Mrs. Robinson. “We’ll work on that in our next session,” said Mrs. Grenzle. “I think it’s time you stop thinking you’re retarded when there are different abilities and some people have troubles in some areas but that doesn’t make them so. I hear you have a sibling with dyslexia, does that make someone retarded when they have problems with reading and writing?” “Of course not,” I said. I would never think Kelly is retarded. She is too normal and can do her school work. Mrs. Grenzle got up and walked to our table and she sat down next to me. “Did you know that sometimes people score low on IQ tests because of their different abilities? There was a boy who scored low on IQ tests everyone didn’t think he was smart but it turned out he was just illiterate so he learned to read. He had a teacher who could tell he was intelligent so she taught him how to read and everyone was surprised including his parents because they all didn’t think he was smart but he turned out to be very bright he won an award that year and he was reading at the third grade reading level by the end of the year and the kid was in sixth grade.” “When did he learn to read?” I asked. “Sixth grade.” “Why couldn’t he read?” “He never learned how.” “How come? How did he not learn how in school?” “His family moved around a lot so he kept getting behind and he scored low on tests so they thought he wasn’t smart and never bothered teaching him. “ “How come?” “They didn’t think he was capable so they never taught him. They only looked at his score than at his abilities. There was another girl who everyone thought wasn’t smart and she always acted worse than she really did because she was in special ed so she thought it was all normal behavior and thought that was how you were supposed to act in school but at home she would act like a normal girl and once her mother found out, she demanded they retested her so when they did, they found out not only did she score low, she scored average in other areas and the only thing she scored low in was in reading and language but she excelled in visual so they found out she had a profound language delay so she had a hard time with communication and relating to people and she used her eyes to figure everything out and how things worked and how to interact and anything that had to do with words, she had troubles in so she appeared not smart. So you see Natalie, how people may appear to be doesn’t not always make them dumb or you. Anyone how has ever called you that or said you were are the ones who are. They don’t even know.” I keep wondering what is the different between being retarded and not being retarded and still have troubles with school work. “How can you guys tell I am not retarded?” “Just by how you think and learn but you need to stop using that word here.” “Why?” “You might make the other kids feel bad or make them feel you are making fun of them,” said Mr. Brooks. “Why?” I was shocked. Why would anyone be that stupid to think I am making fun of them when I am only talking about myself? “They just would, I don’t know.” “How do you know they would think that?” I asked. “If you feel that way about yourself, they could think you are making fun of people with it and if they have a sibling with it, they could think you’re making fun of their sibling, they could think you don’t like people with it,” said Mrs. Robinson. “That’s so stupid,” I said. “Why would that make them think I hate people with it if I don’t want to be it myself,” I said. “They just would.” These people were silly, they think they can read their minds and pretend to know what other kids are going to think. I still wondered if it was possible to be retarded and not have people notice. “Albert Einstein failed math,” said Mrs. Robinson. “He also never knew how to tie his shoes.” “Yeah that’s right he did fail math,” said Mr. Brooks. “Why?” I asked. “I don’t know. Some people are very smart but they can still fail subjects but that doesn’t make them dumb,” said Mr. Brooks. That was old information. I knew that since seventh grade when a teacher then was trying to convince me I am smart. Some people are so smart they fail classes or can’t do simple things. I wonder if that means Matthew is too smart and was Mom too smart too since she didn’t know how to tie her shoes until Brian was little. I wonder if I am too smart so I am not able to do lot of school work on my own. I grabbed my riddle math problem paper and looked at it again. Mr. Brooks pulled it away. “Do your assignment first and then worry about your extra credit.” Mr. Grenzle went back to what she was doing and Mr. Brooks went back to his desk. I worked on my math assignment. More easy math. I had to pick items that would add up to ten dollars and it was so easy. I saw an animated picture of stuff with a price tag next to it and I had to write them down and circle the items. I felt like being in first grade again. I felt maybe Jason was right, they did dumb it down too much and I even have a calculator they have just given me. So I am allowed to cheat to get the right answers but I didn’t need to use it. I could do the problems without using it. After I got done with my math, I got on the computer. I had to share it with Racheal-Ann again. I played Madeline Rainy Day Activities again and did the brain puzzles again. Racheal-Ann said something to me but I couldn’t hear it, all I heard were words but didn’t know what she said so I asked, “What?” “A retard wouldn’t be able to do that because they wouldn’t know how to do it,” Racheal-Ann said quietly. “This game is for ages five and up so they would have to know how to do this,” I said. “But not retarded kids,” she said. “And it says up so that means anyone can play this game so they don’t need to have all activities on here for little kids.” “Too bad there is no adult stuff,” I said. “Adults can play this game and do coloring,” said Racheal-Ann. I was no fool, this was a kid’s game, not for kids my age but it was so much fun to play and they had it here so that meant I could play it and still be normal. “Show me how you know what pattern to pick.” “I look at this square here,” I pointed using the mouse. “This part is white and this other side is black so I know it’s this piece here,” I said selecting it. “I then rotate it to match the one in the square and I put it here.” “Wow, can I try now when you are done?” “Sure” I said to be nice. I finished the puzzle and did the next one. “Hey are you going to let me try now?” Racheal-Ann asked. “When I am done,” I said. “I meant after you were done with that other puzzle.” “Why didn’t you say so?” I said. “I did.” “No you never said after I am done with that puzzle,” I corrected. “You took her literal Natalie,” said Mrs. Robinson. I wish people would be specific. I let Racheal-Ann have a turn. I was bored quickly with her slow moves so I grabbed my worksheet pencil and brought it back to the computer and read the first problem again. This was going to be a puzzle for me. I didn’t care anymore if I am going to do the problems wrong. There should be no right or wrong to doing them and only the right answers should matter. I remember when I was in the second grade, I wouldn’t show my work because I didn’t see the point why if the teacher would see me getting the right answer. I wouldn’t cross out numbers and write down a new number when I was borrow and when I would carry the ones. No one makes you show your work when you add and subtract so why would they make you show it when you borrow and carry? When you do multiplication, no one makes you write down things like 8+8+8+8 doing it seven times to show how you knew the answer to seven times eight or doing 7+7+7 doing it eight times to show how you knew the answer to seven times eight. Then another kid told me the reason why we have to show our work is because teachers don’t know you did the work and they think you just cheated so you have to prove to them so you show your work and I then thought teachers were stupid so I started showing my work after all. I didn’t know my teacher had thought I was cheating. I knew the only way they would think I cheated was I used a calculator and I didn’t have one in school but they could think I copied from my neighbor. I concentrated on the math problem while Racheal-Ann was doing the puzzle. She was working on a different one. She had finished it already. But then I saw she had clicked to another puzzle and I realized she never finished the other one. I still couldn’t understand how people can be bad at it. Soon the bell rang and I put my work sheet away and headed to Spanish. I talked to my boyfriend. “I don’t get it, why are some people bad with this one puzzle where you match the pattern in the square and you put all these little squares together to make the pattern?” I said. “I don’t understand how people aren’t good with Math, that is so easy,” he said. “No it’s hard, I don’t understand how they can do it and you,” I said. “I don’t understand how you can’t do it, we both have something we don’t understand,” said Jason. “But how come some people aren’t good with that puzzle?” I asked again. “I don’t know. How come you find math hard?” “I find the easier math easy,” I said. “Like division and times tables and addiction and subtraction and I know square roots, I just find algebra hard because I don’t know what goes there and how to do them and remember how and I was never good with geometry because I can’t visualize the image in my head to see the sides, I have to see them in person. It took me a year to learn how to do fractions because of all the steps to remember and I wasn’t ready for them until sixth grade and then they started to get easy. I just needed to keep the directions with me how to do them and I remember when doing long division was hard because of too much concentration and then it got easier when I was a little older. I think you’re right, they did dumb it down too much for me. They even gave me a calculator to use which I don’t use.” “Maybe they will make it harder again when they see how easily you can do them.” Then the bell rang and I got in my seat and Mr. Leaf took attendance and had one of the students set it by the door. Spanish is one of my favorite classes because it’s so easy and I have gotten all As. This is one of the classes I don’t need help in because I can do the work myself. It’s just memorization and it makes me feel smart and normal. But today Mr. Leaf decided we were going to watch a movie in Spanish. He had up some movies. They were James and the Giant Peach, The Lion King, Home Alone, and Pinocchio. He had the TV in class and the VCR. We all did a vote and James and the Giant Peach it was. He put it in and started the movie. Some kids were complaining about it being in Spanish but I didn’t care. I had seen the movie so I knew what would be going on in it. All the voices sounded different because they were dubbed, they found different actors to do the voices in Spanish but all the music was still the same but the words. Kids still complained and Mr. Leaf told them to just watch the movie. “Why do we have to see this in Spanish?” Garrett complained. “Because this is Spanish class,” I said. “But I don’t understand what they are saying.” “I don’t even know what’s going on in the movie,” said Aubry. “I do, I’ve seen it in English,” I said. “Okay, tell me what that spider just said,” she said. “What? I don’t have this whole movie memorized,” I said. “But you just told us you know what’s going on in it.” “Kids, if you don’t quit talking, I will turn this off and make you all do some class work,” said Mr. Leaf. Everyone stopped talking. I didn’t know why Aubry thought me knowing the movie meant I knew all the lines. We couldn’t finish the movie because class got over before it got finished.
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Post by Bad Beth on Jun 9, 2015 5:45:45 GMT
Chapter 7
I never felt perfect in school today. I felt a little sick to my stomach like I was going to throw up and it wasn’t that bad so I was able to ignore it and not let it bother me. I had lunch and it made my stomach feel worse but I still ignored it. I did PE and in Choir I didn’t feel any better so I had my head down on my lap. “You look a little pail,” said Mrs. Robinson. This was my chance to complain about my stomach. “I feel like throwing up,” I said. “Do you want to go to the nurse’s office?” I got up and she took me to the office. I didn’t see Joann the nurse anywhere. Mrs. Robinson talked to Mrs. Peggy the school principal for me. She came in and asked me some questions. “How do you feel Natalie, I hear you feel sick inside.” “I feel like throwing up,” I said. “Anything else?” “Just a little tired,” I said. “Do you need to take any Tylenol?” “No,” I said. “Would you like to lie down?” I nodded. Mrs. Peggy took me into a room with all the beds and I lied down on one of them. “Do you need a blanket?” “Sure,” I said. She took one out and unfolded it and gave it to me. I unfolded it the rest of the way and put it over me and closed my eyes. There wasn’t even a clock in here so I didn’t know the time but I knew it was between one twenty and two. School would be out soon in less than two hours. I rested on my back and then soon I started pooping my diaper. Oh great. (yes that is the bad “oh great”) This is just what I needed. A messy diaper and I didn’t feel well to change it. Now I had a mess I was stuck in but luckily I was alone. Too bad the nurse wasn’t here. Then I would call her and she would change it for me. I stayed lying here and then Mrs. Peggy came back in. “How are you feeling?” I was glad she came in because I asked if Joann was here. “Why? Do you need anything, she isn’t here right now so maybe I can assist you?” No I didn’t want her changing me. This felt too weird. Years of awkward moments of different people changing me and always having to get used to certain people doing it and I didn’t want to go through it again. “I just want the nurse,” I said. “Do you need Tylenol? Do you need your backpack?” “Yes,” I said. “Yes to what?” “My backpack.” “Okay I will get it for you.” She left and I realized how would she get into my locker, it had the combination on it. I felt the mess mushing around in my diaper. Soon Mrs. Peggy came back with it. “You got it,” I said. “But how?” “We have your lock number and combination,” said Mrs. Peggy. She left it by the bed I was laying on. “Can you do this yourself? I can get Mrs. Robinson for you?” “No I got it,” I said. I didn’t want her changing me either. Joann is bad enough. I didn’t need anyone else here doing it for me. Too bad Mrs. Peggy can’t just call home and have Mom come to school and do it. I know she wouldn’t like driving all the way here to do it and she would ask me why I didn’t ask the nurse for help or for any assistance if I felt too sick to do it. I sat up and my head felt uncomfortable. I just lied back down. I would have to change soon anyway because I always do in Drama which is at three. I imagined being continent and I have to take a dump or have to take a pee and I would have to get myself out of bed just to use the bathroom or I would just have to hold it. But with diapers, I didn’t have to worry about getting out of bed but I did have to worry about a diaper change which takes longer than going to the bathroom and it takes people a while when they take a dump so I would have to spend a lot of time on the toilet doing it while feeling like this. I was also happy I was in here alone without Mrs. Robinson. I felt normal again and not retarded. Then the bell rang and I could hear kids out in the hall and some talking. I knew it was getting close to my diaper change. Then after the hallways were quiet again, I heard a knock on the door. “What?” I called lying down. Mrs. Robinson came in. “This is about the time you always go change, I just want to be sure if you are able to do it by yourself, looking at you, you don’t look well.” “Is Joann here?” I asked. “I will see.” She left and came back and told me “I am sorry but I hear she left for today but I can do it if you need help with it.” What? No way. No no no no. “I think I got it, I will try and do it alone,” I said. “Are you sure?” “Yes, I don’t want anyone else doing it,” I snapped. “Oh-kay,” she said. “Holler if you need my help. I’ll be out here.” I then wondered if she had been sitting out there the whole time as if I couldn’t be trusted in here alone. I felt like a prisoner. I kicked the blanket off me and pulled down my pants and started taking off my shirt. I did it all lying down and then I pulled down my swim suit. I saw my saggy pink diaper. I leaned over and opened my backpack and took out a diaper. I then realized I didn’t have wipes. So I hollered. “Mrs. Robinson?!” I hollered again. I kept on hollering. Then I got out of bed to get dressed again. I felt terrible. I just lied back down to put my clothes on so I could go and get the wipes myself but Mrs. Robinson came back in. “Did you call?” “I need my wipes,” I said. “They’re in the cupboard out there,” I pointed. Mrs. Robinson left and I didn’t put my clothes back on. Mrs. Robinson came back with the wipes but they were not mine. “You got the wrong ones,” I said. “Which ones are yours?” “The ones on the far right on the bottom,” I said. Mrs. Robinson left again and I waited. She came back with the right ones and she set them by me. I wondered how I was going to get cleaned up on my bed, I was going to do a terrible job. It was either get dressed again and head to the bathroom and deal with the sore eyes and dizziness and the tiredness or surrender. “Why did she have to leave, how do other kids get changed by her?” I asked. “What if anyone needs her?” “What’s wrong? You need help? I can do it. You don’t look too well to do it by yourself.” I just started to cry about the mess in my diaper and from the embarrassment, this was too much. Mrs. Robinson left and I just cried. I decided to try and do it myself but Mrs. Robinson came back with a under pad and wearing rubber gloves. She closed the door and unfolded it. “I’m going to put this under you so just move onto your side.” I rolled over and she placed it down and I lied back on top of it. “You just rest while I do this,” she said. “No I can do it,” I said. “You don’t look like you can so I am here to help you with it, it’s okay.” I put my shirt over my face. I felt her undoing my diaper. I felt so uncomfortable. Now I have had two people here change me so far. I felt nervous about her seeing the mess I did in my diaper. She pulled it down and I felt even more uncomfortable when she was wiping me and I had to be on my side for it. The changing was pretty cold because of the cold wipe and I had nothing on. Then she took the messy diaper away and unfolded the clean one and set it down and I put my butt on top of it. She diapered me up and placed the blanket back on me and left. I felt my clean diaper and looked at it. Then I looked for my used diaper and saw it was gone. I just kept my eyes closed. I put my swim suit back on finally and my shirt and my pants and rested again. Then Mrs. Peggy came back in and told me school was about to get out and it’s time to go home. I was shocked. “Already?” I asked. “Yes, you slept, and now it’s time to go home,” she said. “It feels like I only rested,” I said. “Sometimes when you’re not feeling well, time goes quick when you rest, especially if you are really tired.” I got up and grabbed my backpack and headed out of the health room. I had to grab my coat and I went to the vans. The bell rang and all the kids came out. I couldn’t wait to get in the van to rest again. I still felt sick to my stomach but my head felt a little better. Everything seemed louder, the lockers slamming, the voices and everyone walking. I saw Allie again. She was walking to the van by herself. She wears diapers like me but it’s only until next month because she was caught taking mine and I came up with a punishment for her that she has to wear them for a month and see what it’s like having to wear them and not ever being able to use the toilet. But she cheated and took it off to take a dump and her mom found out and she added another week to her punishment. I looked at her butt and it was hard to tell she was wearing a diaper. Allie is Kate’s sister who is Brian’s girlfriend. “Natalie, where were you?” Jason asked. “I was sleeping in the health room,” I said. “Why?” “I wasn’t feeling good and I was tired,” I said. “Why didn’t you go home?” “I don’t know.” “I can’t wait until Friday,” he said. “I hope I feel better by then,” I said. I kept walking to my van. I just climbed in and I saw Jason walking with his mother to her car. “Gee look at that boy going with his mommy,” said Gary in a different tone. So, I thought. “What is it with some kids going home with their parents like they are retards?” “Gary,” said Sam. “She works here,” I said. “But why must he go home with his mommy?” “Why must you be mean?” Cindy asked. “I’m not.” “It’s your tone,” said Mark. “What?” “Who’s aspie now?” Brian asked. “What the hell?” Gary asked. “Language,” said Sam. Cindy, Mark, Brian, and Lonnie all started laughing. “What the heck guys?” said Gary. “Are you really that dense or are you just fucking here?” Brian asked. “Hey,” Sam shouted. “If I have to remind anyone again about using bad language, I will report it to the principal.” No one said another bad word again. Then four more kids came in our van and soon everyone was all here. “Seatbelts everyone,” said Sam. “Natalie. Natalie. Natalie!” I jumped. I was resting on the window when he shouted my name. “Seatbelt,” Gracie told me. I put mine on and put my head on the window again. I kept the seatbelt loose on me so it wouldn’t dig in my stomach making it feel worse. Sam dropped Gracie, Lonnie, Lauren, and Jerry off and then soon we were at my house and he called my name again. I opened my eyes and saw we were on my street so I took off my seatbelt and grabbed my backpack and got out of the van. I closed the side door and walked up to my house. The garage door was closed so I had to go in through the front door. I took off my shoes and left them by the wall and took my stuff upstairs to my room. I put my coat and backpack on the floor by my closet. I took my James Bond 007 trivia cards and lied on my bed and I looked at them. Then there was a knock on my door. “What?” I called. “Mom made you a treat,” said Matthew. “What is it?” Matthew came in my room and he had a brownie on a little plate. It had chocolate frosting on it too. I took it and set it on my nightstand. “Don’t you want it?” he asked. “I’ll have it later when I feel like eating,” I said. “Hey guess what, I finally figured out which day falls on what day of the week for each year. Give me a day of the month and year.” “June fifteenth, 1957,” I said. “When Mom was born?” Matthew took a pause and then he said, “She would be born on a Saturday.” “How do you do that?” I asked. “You know how there are twenty nine days in February every four years and January, March, May, July, August, October and December all have thirty one days and April, June, September, and November all have thirty days,” Matthew explained. “And there are seven days a week and three hundred and sixty five days a year but every four years there are three hundred and sixty six days because of the leap year.” I was anxious for him to get to the answer than telling me all this first. Matthew kept on explaining and I was already bored. I just wanted him to tell me, not stall. “Just tell me,” I said. “I am, I just have to explain.” I had a hard time listening and then I said “Never mind, forget it.” “So why did you ask if you didn’t want to know?” Matthew asked. “I didn’t know it was going to take too long.” “You were born on a Friday.” I already knew that. It was in my baby book I found. I was also born at two twenty eight in the morning. Matthew left my room and I heard him bothering Kelly next about his calendar dates. “Kelly Kelly, wanna know what I can do?” “Matthew please leave me be,” said Kelly. “But I can tell you what day of the week it was if you give me the date and year.” “Matthew!” “You were born on a Saturday.” “Get out!” she shouted. Matthew kept talking about his dates and Kelly shouted at him to get out. Then the door slammed. “Gee, someone got up on the wrong side,” said Matthew. I kept looking at my cards and then Matthew came back in my room. “Natalie, give me another date.” “I don’t want to know anymore,” I said. “Why?” “I don’t feel like it,” I said. “Dad was born on a Saturday.” “Is everyone born on a Saturday here?” I asked. “Brian was born on a Monday and I was born on a Thursday and you were born on a Friday. Give me another date, give me someone’s birthday.” “Please leave, I don’t feel good and I want to rest,” I said. “I’ll bug Kelly again. Matthew left my room closing my door and I heard him pestering Kelly about dates and her shouting at him again. “Mom, do something about this little brat here,” Kelly shouted in the hallway. “Mom? Mom?” “He is bugging me and I am trying to do my homework,” Kelly said downstairs. I put my cards down on the floor and looked at my Brownie. I took a bite out of it. I didn’t feel like eating the rest so I left it on the little plate.
I rested for the rest of the evening and I felt sick in my stomach still. I couldn’t even eat the rest of my brownie. I could smell the food and I felt too sick to eat. My diaper needed to be changed and Mom never once came in my room. Not even to make sure my diaper didn’t need to be changed. She always checked it whenever I was sick and why didn’t she this time? I also heard Christmas music playing downstairs. I heard Mom leave to get my Dad. I just slept and then I heard them come home again. Then I heard her call my name. I didn’t answer. Mom called me again and then she came upstairs like I wanted. She opened my bedroom door and said “Dinner is ready to be served.” “I don’t feel good,” I said. “Does that mean you don’t want to eat?” “Yes,” I said. “Yes for wanting to eat or for not wanting to eat?” “Not wanting to eat.” “Okay, I will save you a plate for when you want to eat later.” Mom then started leaving. “Mom, I need a clean diaper.” “So go change it.” “But I don’t feel good.” “I know.” “But I need help with it. I don’t feel good to do it.” Mom then turned on the light and I covered my face with my blanket. I heard Mom grabbing a clean diaper for me and she came to my bed and pulled the covers off me. “Okay I need you to move your body over so I can put this down.” I rolled over and Mom place the under pad down on my bed and I laid back on top of it. I closed my eyes and Mom pulled down my pants and undid my diaper. She cleaned me with a wipe and took my wet diaper away and put a clean one down and I had to move my butt on it and she taped it on me. Mom then took the pad away and she rolled up my wet diaper and took it with her shutting off the light. I pulled my pants back up and slept some more while I heard everyone eating downstairs.
Later I felt I really was going to throw up so I got out of bed and I rushed to the trash can where I used to keep my dirty diapers and I threw up in there. Then I noticed my whole bedroom smelled like vomit so I opened my window and went to the bathroom and washed my mouth out to get rid of the acid and anything else left in my mouth from the puke. Then I went back in my bedroom and stuck the trash can out in the hallway and shut my door again. I rested some more and soon my Dad opened my door shouting “What is this doing out in the hallway?” “What?” I asked. “You pail, what’s it doing out here with puke?” “It was making my whole room smell,” I said. “Why didn’t you do it in the toilet?” “I was afraid I wouldn’t make it,” I said. “Glen, let me handle it,” said Mom. She took the trash can from him. “She left it in the hallway making it smell,” Dad shouted. “Mmmm mmm,” said Mom walking away. “She made the hallway smell like vomit, what is wrong with her, doesn’t she think about anyone but herself?” “She’s sick, give her a break,” Mom said. “Maybe I should whoop her ass then.” “No Glen!” Mom shouted. “You could never take a joke. I was just kidding.” “I don’t see how that’s even funny. Quit being an asshole.” “You can’t even take a joke,” Dad said again. Mom kept going downstairs. Dad closed my door. At least I am not alone when I can’t tell someone is joking. Jason has a hard time too with it so it makes me feel less stupid and retarded. Some other kids at school have said they couldn’t tell either always.
I was up half of the night throwing up in the toilet and going back to bed. I was hoping I would feel better by Friday. Dad did check on me after I had thrown up in the toilet again and said I was staying home from school because I am too sick. I finished rinsing my mouth and went back to bed. I tried going back to sleep again. I knew my brain would wake me up when I am about to throw up again. Then I had to get up again because I felt like I was going to throw up. I kept a towel with me and would hold it over my face so I wouldn’t puke on the rug. But Kelly was on the toilet so I puked in the wastebasket next to the toilet. I just picked it up and held it up to my face and barfed in it. Then I rinsed my mouth out again. I put the wastebasket back and Kelly asked, “Are you going to take that out, to the garage I mean to the trashcan?” “No,” I said. “It smells and it’s gross, take it out please.” I grabbed the plastic bag out of the wastebasket and took it downstairs with me. I opened the laundry room door and the new puppy ran out. I threw the bag away and came back inside and went back to bed. I was able to get some sleep and I woke up again but I stayed in bed. I heard Mom and Dad being up and right when Dad went downstairs, he started shouting. “Who let the bloody dog out?” Mom got came out of the master bedroom and went downstairs. Dad kept on shouting. “There is dog shit and he peed on the floor. My shoe! God bloody damn it, I hate that animal! Fuck. Get that dog out of here before I slap it.” I heard Mom let the dog outside. “Who let the dog out?” Dad yelled. I felt better. I didn’t feel sick anymore but I was covered in sweat so I kicked the covers off. My diaper felt soaked too. I felt dirty because of the sweat. I also felt bad for causing a fight down there. Dad kept on shouting. “The paper, I was still reading it. God damn it I hate that dog,” Dad yelled. “Go borrow one from one of the neighbors, I am sure they will be done reading it,” Mom shouted. “My shoe is now destroyed so now I am going to have to buy another pair,” said Dad. “I can’t leave my shoes in the laundry room anymore. No leave that dog outside, I feel like kicking it.” The shouting died down and I felt better. I wondered if I was still going to school.
Soon they left and I noticed it stunk under my covers. I must have farted. I just rested and tried going back to sleep. Soon Mom came back home. I heard her say something downstairs. Then soon Kelly was up and Mom never came to wake me up. It was like she forgot about me. My tummy grumbled but it was a different grumble. My diaper also felt different. I felt chilly so I covered back up but I felt hot again so I kicked them off again. Then I was cold again so covers went back over me. I got tired of the hot and cold so I took off my clothes and then I was naked in my bra and socks and diaper. I never liked going barefoot because my feet sweat and I can’t stand to feel dirt on them or having them rubbing on my sheets or feeling them on the rug or floor. I felt better and I rested. Then I farted and it stunk. My diaper felt icky and uncomfortable so I called for Mom. I shouted louder and waited for her. I shouted again and I heard someone coming. Mom opened the bedroom door. “What is it?” “I need a clean diaper and I don’t feel good.” “Pee yu, it stinks,” said Mom. She went to the window and opened the curtain and then the window. Even though I was feeling better, I still had a good excuse to not change it. Mom then went to my closet and grabbed one of my clean diapers and underpad and took the wipes off my dresser. She pulled the covers off and had me move over so she could put down the under pad. Then I laid back on top and Mom undid my diaper. “Oh you did a big one, pee yu,” Mom waved her hand in the air. “It’s all over, I think you should shower instead,” said Mom. I got up and got off my bed. “Hold this under you so you won’t make a mess all over,” Mom pointed to my messy diaper. I grabbed it and put it under me and started heading to the bathroom. Mom went in Matthew’s room to get him up. I closed the bathroom door and threw the diaper away and took off my socks and bra. I turned on the shower and waited for it to warm up before turning on the shower head. I shaved and washed my hair and washed the crap off my butt and bottom. I pooped some more in the shower. It was all diarrhea. I took my normal shower because Dad was not here. After I was done showering, I felt so clean. I dried off and took a clean diaper from the drawer where I keep some. I put it on and brushed my teeth and then I drank some because I was thirsty. Then I put my bra and socks back on and left the bathroom. I saw my brownie on the table next to my bed. I ate the rest and laid back down again. Not too long later I felt like I was going to throw up again so I got out of bed and kept my mouth shut. I rushed to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet. I flushed it and washed my mouth again and went back to bed. I just laid here and then I got out of bed and played my Super Nintendo. I whipped through the first levels in Super Mario World and I already had 13 lives after I defeated the first boss. I did feel hungry but if I ate or drank anything I would just throw it up again and I hated throwing up.
All day long I just rested and watched TV, I also watched GoldenEye and Mom changed my diaper on the couch when I pooped it again and she also went out and got me some Sprite for my stomach. She also offered me a snack when she made herself something but I declined it. Mom decided to name our new dog Whimper because he was always whimpering. He had whimpered today off and on. She was calling him that and told me it was what she was calling him because she is tired of calling him “doggy” or “the dog” or “him.” I liked the name Whimper. It fit him good. I like how we always give our pets names that fit them. Mittens was called Mittens because her paws are white and Kelly thought she looked like she had on a pair of mittens. I named my cat Princess because she looked like a Princess and I wanted to name her Pussy because she looked like a pussy cat in a nursery rhyme but Mom and Dad said no and wouldn’t let me name her that so I had to pick Princess instead. We named our dog Skippy because he was always skipping when he was a puppy. But he grew out of it but we still kept the name. I wonder if Whimper will grow out of whimpering. Soon Kelly came home and Mom had spent most of her time in the living room drawing while Whimper wandered around and Mom let him out a few times but he peed in the house and Mom cleaned it up. I even held him. He was so cute. Then he jumped down. Kelly picked him up when he was whimpering. Then the doorbell rang and Mom answered it. Since she has been doing her hobby again, she has been answering the door because she sells her work. It was someone I didn’t recognize and Mom let them in. They took off their shoes (we have a sign outside saying to remove your shoes) and went in the living room behind the blanket. I heard them talking and then they left with few of Mom’s paintings or drawings. Mom put the check on the fridge with a magnet. “You made money again,” said Kelly. “Are you going to use it on Christmas?” Kelly went over to it and said “Two hundred and ten dollars, whoa, you can use that on ur presents.” “I guess we can go one month without cable and internet,” said Mom. “No,” Kelly and I shouted. “You want presents don’t you?” said Mom. “Can’t you pay for both and use the rest you have to buy us presents?” I asked. “I don’t know.” “They better not be crummy ones like mine were on my birthday,” said Kelly. I also looked at the check and it was made out to my mother and father. Kelly kept holding Whimper. He looked down at the floor. “Hey Peppa-,” said Kelly to him but Mom interrupted telling her “Whimper.” “What?” Kelly asked. “His name is Whimper,” said Mom. “You already named him?” Kelly asked. “But I thought this was my birthday present?” “You didn’t want him so he’s mine,” said Mom. “Because you said it was for the whole family,” Kelly shouted. She just marched out of the kitchen. Mom just sighed and said, “Adolescence.”
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Post by Bad Beth on Jun 12, 2015 8:25:53 GMT
Chapter 8
I was feeling better later in the day so I didn’t think I was sick anymore. I hadn’t thrown up once or felt sick again. I played The World Is Not Enough on my Nintendo 64. I could hear Matthew playing with Whimper out in the family room and kitchen. Mom cooked dinner again and she did some cleaning for Dad. Then she left to go get him. I was playing Kirby 64 by then. Matthew then came in the room. “Whimper peed on our furniture,” he said. “What?” I asked. “Whimper peed on the furniture.” I didn’t understand what he meant. I pictured him peeing on every furniture in our home and that didn’t make sense because he wouldn’t have enough pee to pee on it all. “What?” I asked. “Whimper peed on the furniture,” he said louder. “I know that but what do you mean he did that?” “He peed on the furniture.” “What do you mean?” “What I exactly said.” “How?” “He was just outside and he came inside and lifted his leg and peed.” “What?” “Come and see.” I paused the game and Matthew pointed to the wet spot on the family room rug right by the TV set and I could see he also peed on the speakers. “Why did he do that?” I asked. “He’s a puppy, how do I clean it up? Dad will be so mad and will get rid of him when he sees this.” I grabbed the paper towels and started to wipe it up but the pee soaked into the paper towel so I got more unrolled and ripped them off ad put them over the wet spot soaking it all up. “Why didn’t you say he peed here?” I asked. “I did,” said Matthew. “No you said furniture, not TV.” “This is the furniture.” “No,” I said. I got up and started showing him. “This is a furniture, this is, and this and this,” I was pointing to the sofa, the chair, the coffee tables, the shelves, the kitchen table and chairs, the computer chair. “A TV is not a furniture.” “Yes it is,” said Matthew. “No it’s not.” “Yes it is.” “No it’s not,” I shouted. “Yes it is,” Matthew shouted again. “If it was furniture, it would show up with the furniture when you look at them in magazines,” I said. “It does, it always shows them,” Matthew pointed out. “Only for display to show you how it looks, not to sell them,” I said. “It’s a furniture,” Matthew shouted. “If it was, they would be selling TVs in them, not just furniture,” I yelled. “It’s furniture.” “Why don’t you ask Mom and Dad then when they get home?” I said. “Then we’ll see who’s right.” I then decided to grab some dirty clothes so I went in the laundry room and grabbed a dirty towel and got it wet and wiped up the pee from the speakers and the carpet. Then I threw the paper towels away and put the towel in the laundry basket and washed my hands. I put Whimper outside. “We must not tell Dad about this or he will get rid of him,” said Matthew “But we can tell Mom” I said. “She will clean up the rest.” I went back to playing Kirby. When Mom and Dad got home, Matthew went running to them asking if the TV is a furniture. I didn’t hear their answer but I assumed they said no.
We all sat at the table. I didn’t tell Dad about the pee Whimper did. “Kelly, do you think Tvs are furniture?” Matthew asked. “Why?” she asked. “Natalie thinks it’s not and Mom thinks it’s not and Dad said he didn’t know so I am asking if you think it’s a piece of furniture.” “No.” “Is this a furniture?” he pointed at the table. “Yes,” said Mom . “Is this a furniture?” he pointed to his chair.” “Yes Matthew this is all furniture here,” Dad said. I didn’t know why he was asking this. I had already told him it was furniture. Matthew got out of his chair. “Matthew sit down,” said Mom. “Is this a furniture?” Matthew put his hand on the fridge. “Matthew, now,” Dad scolded. “No I wouldn’t say that is a furniture, it’s called a kitchen appliance. Now sit down in your chair.” Matthew sat down. “Is the dishwasher a furniture and the washing machine and dryer? What about the laundry sink?” “Matthew, sometimes you get strange fixations, is this going to be your new one?” Dad asked. Matthew has asked some weird things in the past like the time when he was five years old, he was always asking people if they use the toilet or do they have a toilet at home and we would tell him that everyone has a bathroom in their home, everyone uses the toilet and he would point out that I don’t use one. Now he knows better to tell everyone I wear them and to say I never use a toilet. Then when he was eight he was always asking about smoke alarms and asking if theirs have ever gone off in their home and how loud is it and ask if they have one too. He was also asking what road goes where every time we were in the car. I am guilty of being into some strange things too like blowing noses and being into poop and pee in my pre diaper days. I had a fixation with peeing outdoors. Jason has a fixation with people wiping their butts. “Is it a furniture?” Matthew asked. “No Matthew,” said Dad. “Now enough questions.” He ate a little more and then he got up and headed to the powder room. “Mom,” I said quietly. “Whimper peed on our TV set in the family room.” “When did he do that?” she asked. “While you were getting Dad.” “Did you clean it up?” “Most of it,” I said. Mom got out of her chair and looked at the spot. She got on her knees and sniffed and pulled her head away from the spot real quick and said “Oooof.” Whimper was standing at the door barking to come inside. Mom was about to open it when Dad said, “Leave him out there.” Mom kept the door closed and sat down. “This house is a mess again,” said Dad. “I cleaned it,” said Mom. “The toilet wasn’t cleaned or the sink.” “I guess the kids forgot,” said Mom. “Did any of you kids do your chores?” Dad asked. “I forgot,” I said. “Kelly, Matthew?” “I was busy with homework,” said Kelly. “Matthew?” Matthew didn’t say anything. “God damn it, now I have lot of cleaning to do before bed.” Dad got out of his chair again. “This is too much, I can’t take this, first the dog and now you kids can’t even help keep this house clean?” “We’ll put them to work after dinner,” said Mom. “That will make up for all the chores they missed.” “Mom,” Kelly cried. “How long will it take for you to do them?” Mom asked. Kelly didn’t answer. Matthew got upset. I started to feel stressed out. It was too late in the day for cleaning. “If all you kids work together, it will go a lot quicker,” said Dad. “Next time don’t forget to do your chores.” “But I want to go to bed early and get enough sleep for school tomorrow,” said Kelly. “Nice try,” said Dad. Kelly started to argue and protest. “This house isn’t even bad and I hate having to make this whole place looking like a palace, we can’t even live, you’re happy and we all have to suffer.” Dad was pacing around the kitchen. “How hard is it to put your shoes away, hang up your coat, put your stuff away when you are done with it, wipe up the crumbs after you make a mess, sweep up your mess you make on the floor, and it only takes a few seconds to clean the toilet. You just spray and wipe and you’re done.” “This is too much,” said Kelly. “Oh for god’s sake it doesn’t even take long to do it. If you let the house get dirtier and dirtier it will take longer to clean so if you pick it up as you make the mess, it won’t take long at all,” Dad shouted. I pictured our house being picked up off the foundation but I knew he didn’t mean that. He meant the mess. “So when everyone is done eating, you will all rinse off your plates and forks and spoons and cups and stick them in the dishwasher,” said Dad. “This is just great, we can’t even live,” said Kelly. “What?” I asked. “I don’t want to live like this, this is not living, this is hell.” “Why?” I asked. How hard could it be to pick up, it’s always been a rule anyway Dad has. Kelly didn’t answer. Instead she just said, “It just is. It’s impossible to live this way.” “No it’s not,” I said. “It’s just being lazy when we don’t do it.” “That’s right,” said Dad. “This sucks,” Kelly cried. “That’s life,” said Dad. “Why should we have to keep the house perfect, it’s like we’re not even allowed to live a normal life.” “Kelly enough,” Dad scolded. “No more.” “But-“ “No buts, enough.” “She’s being a dumb blonde,” I said. Kelly nudged me hard and it hurt. “Hey,” Mom shouted. “Natalie, that was not nice to say that about your sister,” said Dad. “But she really was one,” I said. “It’s not nice to call her that. Would you want to be called fat?” “But I’m not,” I said. “She has blonde hair.” “Do not call her that, period.” I kept on eating and then I was finished. I rinsed off my plate and stuck it in the dishwasher. I stuck my silverware and cup in there too. “I am glad you are feeling better Natalie,” said Dad. “Now sit back down with the rest of the family.” I sat down. I hated this. I wanted to get back to my game.
After everyone was done eating, they all cleared their spots and Dad started to assign chores to us. “Matthew, you wipe the table and use the trash can and wipe the stuff in it from the table. Kelly, you will scoop the leftovers in the container, Natalie, you will wash these big dishes here.” Kelly rolled her eyes. I did too. I just stood here and waited and I didn’t know when to do it. I had no way of doing it because it still had food in it. Dad got out a food storage container and told Kelly to put the food in there. Kelly started to scoop it out and then I had to wash the pan in the sink. Matthew was using a wet dish towel and wiping the whole table. Then he was done. Kelly was finished scooping all the leftovers and I had to wash the big dishes. Dad told me to just set them on the counter to dry right by the sink when I am done washing them. “See Anita, this isn’t so bad, if we just have all our kids clean up after we’re done eating, it goes much quicker,” said Dad. Mom was cleaning up her mess from cooking and Dad made us all do our chores. I had to do the laundry, Kelly had to vacuum and Dad made Matthew check the litterbox. I could hear Kelly slamming the vacuum into the walls and Dad scolded her for it. She yelled back about having to clean so late at night. I then had to clean the toilet and sink in the powder room and Matthew had to fold the clothes. Mom helped out with the cleaning. She did the sweeping. So all evening long we cleaned and it was ten by then when Dad decided we could quit and said this was a lesson and next time he will make us clean all night if he had to. Mom argued about it so Dad told her “Anita, if you don’t want them cleaning this late at night, then make sure they do their damn chores next time.” I would make sure I would not forget next time. I was starting to feel sick again but I was hoping I would feel better again. I had to go to bed for school tomorrow. “Leave that dog outside,” Dad ordered. “He has been out there all evening,” said Mom. “I don’t want him in the house, he has ruined enough stuff already.” Fine, I will put him in the crate.” “Then he will just bark.” “We can’t just leave him outside, how about the garage?” “He will just pee all over.” “Well we can just put him in the garage in the crate,” said Mom. I got changed and put my pajamas on and threw my diaper in the pail and crawled into bed. I was too lazy to go all the way downstairs to throw it away. Both my parents came upstairs. “I still hear barking but not bad,” said Dad. I did some reading and then my tummy got worse and I felt like throwing up again so I rushed out of bed and ran into the bathroom and stuck my face over the toilet. The I gagged and I opened my mouth and vomit came spilling into the toilet hitting the water. There went my dinner. I was still sick. I felt better but that was because all the food was out of me. I flushed the toilet and washed my mouth in the sink and went back to my room. I couldn’t believe I was still sick. I hoped I would be better by morning when it’s time for school.
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Post by Bad Beth on Aug 4, 2015 22:44:12 GMT
Chapter 9
I threw up three more times and the last one, nothing came out, only spit. I felt upset about tomorrow because I was supposed to go to Jason’s and now I couldn’t go. If I am too sick to go to school again, I won’t be able to go to Jason’s. Mom woke me up in the morning and I felt better again. She pulled the covers off me and started to tickle me. “I threw up again last night,” I said. “How many times?” “Three,” I said. “What was the time?” “I don’t know.” “How are you feeling now?” “Fine,” I said. “Okay, you can still get up for school and if you throw up again, I can always come get you.” Mom pulled down my pants revealing my wet diaper. “Ooo you smell like pee.” She got a clean diaper and an underpad and the wipes and started to change me. After she put a fresh diaper on me, she started to pick out my clothes. I covered myself back up. I massaged the outside of my diaper. Mom came over with my clothes and pulled the covers off me again and I stopped rubbing myself. “Sit up,” she said. I sat up and she said “arms up.” I lifted my arms and she took my top off and I already had my bra on so she put my bathing suit on me and then my pants and then my shirt. I already had socks on so she didn’t need to put any on. Then she left my room leaving my wet diaper again. Mom was getting Matthew up for school too. Kelly was up but she was in her room. I could see the light was on in there. I went downstairs and got some cereal. I started eating and then Kelly came down. She was all dressed nicely with her hair brushed and nicely done and she had on panty hose and a black dress. “I guess you are feeling better,” she said. “Yep,” I said. The check was still on the fridge from yesterday. “I wonder what Mom will be spending that money on?” Kelly asked me. “I hope on presents,” I said. “Yeah right.” I felt nervous about Christmas. I was hoping for presents this year. Not once had we done Christmas shopping because of Dad. I ate my cereal and put my bowl in the sink and I went in the den and played my Nintendo 64. Then I started to feel sick again so I paused the game and ran to the kitchen and threw up in the sink. I saw all my chewed up cereal. Mom came in the kitchen. “I guess you’re still sick, back to bed ,” said Mom. I felt disappointed again. “Great, now I won’t be able to go to Jason’s,” I said. “There is always another time,” said Mom. I went back upstairs and laid back in bed. Kelly soon left and then Mom left with Matthew. Soon she came back inside. I got out of bed and Mom was working in the living room. I pulled the blanket aside and came in. Mom had the supplies all over the coffee table and had her paintings and drawings everywhere leaning on furniture and she had an old blanket on the floor where she was sitting and newspaper scattered all over the table and she had her painting board set on it and she was painting. “Mom,” I said. Mom didn’t say anything but I knew she heard me. “What’s going to happen for Christmas?” I asked. “Just wake up that day as normal,” said Mom. “But I am worried about not getting any presents,” I said. “We still have three days.” “Have you gotten any yet for us, we haven’t even Christmas shopped like we always do.” Mom just shrugged. I knew she hadn’t gotten us any presents yet so it was really worrying me. I worried we were not going to have presents this year. Then there was a knock at the door. “Get out of here, it might be customers and I don’t want you to get them sick,” said Mom. She went to the door and answered it. I went in the hallway and sure enough there was a man standing there. “Is this Anita’s Art Studio?” “Yes,” said Mom. “My store is this way.” The man removed his shoes and stepped inside and they went behind the blanket. I hoped he would buy something. “My wife loves portraits and I am going to buy her a nice portrait for Christmas,” he said. Mom was running her own business with her hobby. I bet she could rent a place in town and do her job there and give herself working hours. But then that means she would have to manage her money and pay the rent and electric and water and sewer so no way she would be able to do that so here was better. Plus she would have more money to spend. I just sat on the stairs and waited. “Would you like anything to drink?” Mom asked. “No that’s fine.” He kept on looking and soon I heard Mom telling him the total and he asked what payment she will take and she said “cash or checks.” “Is there anything I can put this in?” he asked. “No, you just carry it,” said Mom. “You have no photo frames or nothing.” “Yes but they’re not for sale. If you want photo frames, you will have to go buy them yourself elsewhere.” Soon he stepped back into the hallway with a picture and left. He put his shoes on and shut the door. “How much did he pay?” I asked. “A hundred,” said Mom. “Why not sell them for more so you can have more money?” I asked. “Because then no one will buy them, I am selling them cheaper than that place in town,” said Mom. “Why?” I asked. “To get more people. That is also why I offer drinks too and I am going to buy some refreshments too so more people will come.” Mom must have been having fun selling her work and she knew how to get more customers. “I hope you won’t knock the other store out of business,” I said. I remembered in You’ve Got Mail, Tom Hanks character opened his own bookstore across the street from meg Ryan’s character’s business who also sold books and his books were cheaper and had wider selection so it knocked her store out of business. What if Mom knocked the art store in town out of business? “What if they go out of business?” I asked. “Don’t care, that is their problem and not my concern. I have the right to make money too to help my family,” said Mom. She went in the kitchen and then she said “I am going to the bank so let anyone know who comes that I went to the bank and will be back and I am getting some snacks.” Mom got her shoes on and left with her purse. I heard her leave in the minivan. I watched some TV in the family room and soon there was a doorbell. I got up and answered it. It was a woman who looked older than my parents. The woman wore purple dark glasses and she had grayish brown hair with white streaks. She smiled. “Is this Anita’s Art Studio?” “Yes,” I said. “I came to look at some art work.” “She will be back, she just had to go to the bank,” I said. “When do you think she will be back?” “I don’t know.” “It won’t be an hour or two or three?” I paused. I didn’t know how long she would be gone. “I don’t think going to the bank takes that long,” I said. “I will just wait out here.” The woman walked off the porch and I closed the door. I went back to watching TV.
Soon Mom came back and she showed me all the cash she had in her hand. “Look how much money I made.” She started to count. “Twenty, forty, sixty, eighty….” She got to the end and said “Three hundred and forty dollars.” That was a lot of money. They were all twenty dollar bills. “You better hide it so people can’t see it,” I said. “They could try and steal it.” “I was just showing you how much I made.” She stuck it in her purse and left it on the kitchen table. The doorbell rang again. Mom answered it and the same woman came inside. I watched more TV. Then when the woman left, Mom put the check on the fridge and she got the snacks out of the bag and I saw she had gotten a few packets of juice mix. I kept on watching TV and Mom made some juice and I saw her bringing it to the living room. After she was done, I saw she had set out all the cookies on piano chair and the pitcher with juice in it and she had paper cups stacked up facing upside down. I was about to pick up a cookie but Mom stopped me and said it was for the customers only. “Can I have at least one?” I asked. “No,” said Mom. “Customers only.” “Why? It’s only one,” I said. “No,” Mom shouted. “I can’t even taste it?” “Natalia, what did I say?” I whined. “Awwwww.” I couldn’t understand why Mom wouldn’t let me have only one cookie. One wouldn’t hurt. “Can I have some juice?” I asked. “Customers only. If you’re thirsty, we have water.” Mom picked up her stuff from the table and started to get ready to draw again. Then she set her drawing stuff down again and left the room. I waited for a few seconds before I grabbed a cookie, one of each and poured myself a little cup and left the living room. I drank the juice and then ate each cookie. Now I have had a cookie and the juice and didn’t need to have anymore. Mom wouldn’t know. I watched more TV and Mom came back down and then she said in the living room, “Natalie.” “What?” I shouted. Mom came in the kitchen. “You little, I told you the cookies were for the customers only and the juice and you did it anyway.” “What?” I asked. “You didn’t think I would notice? I see one less cookie each and one missing cup and the juice level is a little down. You stinker. Oh well I should take them all with me next time.” Mom went back in the living room. I wondered why I wasn’t in trouble. Oh well. I threw up the cookies and the juice not too long later.
I stayed home for the rest of the day and I didn’t even feel sick but Mom never took me to school so I spent my time playing video games and watching TV. I refused to eat anything fearing I would throw up again. I also held Whimper in my arms and tickled him. I also squeezed him as I hugged him. He was a cute puppy. I also liked seeing his penis poking out and going back in. I let him outside with Skippy so he would go but he peed in the house again on the kitchen floor so Mom cleaned it up. Using paper towels, Murphy’s Oil Soap and a rag and she threw it in the laundry. Kelly soon came home and asked me how I was feeling. “I haven’t thrown up since this morning,” I said. “That’s good, I bet it means you’re feeling better. Hey I am going to the Robertas’ to babysit, I thought maybe you will come with to help out and I know you are curious about Veronica.” I jumped up and down. “Yeah.” “Don’t act like a weirdo there,” Kelly reminded me. “Make sure you have on a clean diaper, change when you mess, no doing this,” Kelly flapped her arms, “and doing this” she jumped up and town “and shouting yes or yeah and other things, no smelling things, don’t pick your nose or eat your boogers, don’t clean your ears, only do it in the bathroom, no picking at your chest, do that in the bathroom too, no talking none stop about James Bond, no blonde jokes, and please try and act normie as much as possible. Can you remember all those rules?” “I will try,” I said. “Also don’t bother Veronica,” Kelly added. “I have homework to do first so I want to get some done before we have to go and please use the computer down here.” Kelly went upstairs. “Natalie,” Mom called. “What?” I asked. Mom came out of the living room and said “Since you are feeling better, you need to walk Skippy and also walk Whimper.” “How? He doesn’t even have a collar or a leash?” “Oh, that’s right, just leave him in the backyard so he can run around.” I put Whimper outside again and got Sippy’s leash and put it on him. I got my shoes on and my coat and walked outside. I was so glad it was not raining. I decided to ride my bike and have him run beside me. I got my bike down and got on it and put Skippy’s leash on the handle bars and opened the garage door. I rode outside and he ran aside me. This felt like 101 Dalmatians except this wasn’t London. I rode around the neighborhood but when I got to the other entrance, Skippy got all crazy so he started to pick up speed and I went with him. Holy moly, this was like the movie. I got a little nervous and started shouting. “Skippy whoa,” I yelled. He kept running and I grabbed at the leash to get it off my handle bar. As I tried getting it off, I fell off my bike and the bike was on top of me and Skippy ran up ahead. I noticed the blue mini van in a drive way at one of the houses and I noticed another Yellow Lab. Skippy ran to her and they both looked at each other and touched their faces with their noses. “Noel, come here,” said the man. Noel kept sniffing at Skippy and the man called her again in a tougher voice and whistled. She finally left Skippy and ran back to them. I got off the ground and I felt a little sore but I was fine. I picked up my bike and looked at it and didn’t see any damage. I walked over to Skippy. “Come on Skippy,” I said. I picked his leash up and got back on my bike and this time I did not have it around the handle bars. That was stupid. I just held it over the handle bar and I peddled. I looked at the mini van and the family and I noticed they had a Washington license plate and I saw the man and woman and their three kids and I realized they were the same family I saw on the road once when we went to Montana and Skippy was barking and whimpering at them and they were living in our neighborhood. What a coincidence. “Oh my, they look like the same people we saw on the road when we were coming back from Montana,” I said to Skippy. Skippy didn’t respond back. He would have if this were the 101 Dalmatian world. I peddled home and parked my bike in the garage. Dad will hang it up when he gets home since I can’t do it. I took off my shoes and took Skippy off his leash and he ran inside. I put my coat away and the leash. Skippy was looking outside. I went upstairs to Kelly’s room to use the computer. “Hey can’t you knock?” Kelly asked at the computer. “Oh sorry.” I left her room and closed her door and knocked. “What?” she asked. I opened the door. “I want to use the computer.” “I said to use it downstairs?” “Why?” “I am doing my homework.” “Can’t you do it in my room?” “This is my room.” “But why must you do it in here?” I asked. “Why must you use this computer instead of the other one?” Kelly asked. “Because this one was meant for us to use so we would stay off the other one.” “You can use it later but right now go downstairs.” I went downstairs and got on the computer. Mom was in the kitchen doing some cleaning. “Natalie what are you doing getting on the computer down here?” she asked. “Kelly wants me to be on this one,” I said. “Why?” “Because she is doing her homework and doesn’t want me in her room.” Mom left the room and I waited for Windows 95 to load up. When it did, I went on AOL and signed on. When it got connected, I went to Shockwave. I heard Kelly shouting upstairs and Mom talking back. Then Mom came down. “Okay you can use the computer up there Kelly will just move to the den or to my room.” I stayed put. I had just gotten on this one and I didn’t want to move again. I would have to turn on the computer again and wait for it to load up and then sign online again and wait for the pages to load up again. Kelly came downstairs and walked into the den with her school work and shut the door. I waited for the daily jigsaw to load and then I started working on it. “Natalie, please use the computer upstairs, we got you kids that one for a reason and Kelly isn’t in her room anymore,” Mom told me. “But I have already started this and I don’t want to load it all up again,” I said. “What are you doing on it?” “A jigsaw puzzle,” I said. “I don’t want you using this land line so go upstairs and use the computer up there,” Mom said again. Another reason for us having our own computer was to keep us from using our land line so we have two phone lines so we can use the one upstairs and we will still have a phone to use when someone is using the internet. I had to get off AOL and sign out and I shut down the computer and I headed upstairs. I went in Kelly’s room and started up the computer. I had to sign on again and then load up the webpage again and the puzzle and start over. Was half way through the jigsaw when Kelly came in her room and said, “Okay, Natalie, we have to head over there now, get changed and if your pants smell like pee, put on a different pair and remember the rules I gave you.” I got off the computer and went in my room. I changed my diaper and got my backpack and put the wipes in there and diaper rash cream. I had to hurry because we had to leave. I grabbed my Gameboy and the games and grabbed my word search book for in case the batteries died. I got my coat and put my shoes on and Kelly was already ready and she had her fun box in her hand. We left and headed to the Robertas. I walked straight as possible and I looked at the cracks in the sidewalk and dirt and little rocks and some leaves laying around and the flowers and some weeds I noticed in flower beds and little pine needles from the trees. I walked ahead of Kelly and made it to the house. I waited for Kelly in front of the house. Kelly made it and we walked up to the front door. “Ring it,” said Kelly. I pushed the doorbell and heard it ring. We waited and I swayed my body back and forth and Kelly nudged me and told me to “quit it.” “What?” I asked. “Stand still.” I stood still and put my arms aside and stood there stiff. The door opened and there stood the mother. “Good, you made it.” I waited for Kelly to start heading inside. I followed her. “She is with me to volunteer so you don’t have to pay her anything,” said Kelly. “I was cur-“ Kelly nudged me hard. “What is it?” I asked. “Shh,” she whispered. I wondered what was going on and why she wanted me to hush. Kelly started talking to Mrs. Roberta. I wondered where Veronica was. Ellie ran in the hallway. She has blond hair like us but it’s darker. I took off my shoes and put them aside and I took my coat off and set it down on the chair in the living room. I also set my backpack down too. I wandered in the family room. James was sitting on the floor playing the new Playstation. “You have a Playstation 2?” I asked. “Yeah we got it on Saturday,” said James. He was playing a game on the big screen TV. “Where’s your big sister?” I asked. “In her room,” he said. Mrs. Roberta talked some more and then she left. It was just us alone now. I started to wander around the house. I replayed the rules in my head remembering what Kelly told me. I looked in each room on this floor and saw everything was still the same, furniture in the same spot, toilets still the same, sinks, walls, light fixtures, light switches, cabinets. I headed up stairs and looked in each room skipping Veronica’s. I started to play the Nintendo 64 in James room. Soon Kelly came up and she said “There you are, you are supposed to be babysitting, remember the rules?” “I am,” I said. “Be downstairs with me. I thought you wanted to babysit and this is what normal people do, they don’t come up here to play games.” I paused the game and went downstairs. We went back in the family room and Kelly sat down at the coffee table with her homework. “I am so bored what am I supposed to do in here?” I said. “This is what babysitting is Natalie,” said Kelly. “Remember, act normal.” Last time we were here, they had the Nintendo 64 down here and were playing it. It would have been so much better if they played it instead of the other game that looked boring. Trying to be normal was so exhausting it was like changing my whole personality. So this is what normal people do, just sit here and do nothing, this was so boring. “So what do normies do Kelly when they baby sit?” I asked. “Do they just sit here and do nothing?” “They sit here and watch the kids and they will either do their homework or read or work on what they brought with. Why don’t you play your Game Boy or read a book or go in the fun box,” said Kelly. She had her fun box on the kitchen counter. I looked inside it and she had coloring books and some of her old toys and some books. I wanted none of that. I just walked around the room while James played the game and Ellie watched. “Remember the rules Natalie,” Kelly called. “I am,” I said. “What are you doing?” I realized I was walking around the kitchen. “Nothing,” I said. “You’re not sitting still and that is not normie behavior so please sit down.” I sat back down in a chair. I felt so much better when I was walking around. I wondered how Veronica got to her room if she was in a wheelchair. Maybe she got carried up. I took out my word search and started working on it to keep my mind off having to sit. Soon I heard a bell ringing. “Oh that’s my sister ringing the bell, she needs something,” said Ellie. Kelly got up and headed upstairs. I kept looking for the word coyote. Then Kelly came back down and told me to help her in the kitchen. “Why?” I asked. “Why? You wanted to help with babysitting so you have to help me in the kitchen. That is what normies do.” I put my word search down and went in the kitchen. Kelly opened the fridge and took out some food. “She wants a turkey sandwich so wash your hands and make her it,” Kelly ordered me. I washed my hands in the sink and I opened the bread and took out two slices. Kelly had the turkey sitting out and the mayonnaise. I opened the turkey and took out a slice and put it on the bread. “Don’t forget the mayonnaise,” said Kelly. I opened the mayonnaise and said “Where’s a knife?” “The knives are over there in the drawer,” Kelly looked. “Where?” I asked. “Over there where I am looking.” “Where are you looking?” Kelly sighed and walked over to the drawer and opened it. “Right here where I was looking, weren’t you watching?” Kelly didn’t sound happy with me. “Sorry, you didn’t say where,” I said. “I did say where.” “No you didn’t, you just kept saying over there.” “Never mind.” I took out a butter knife and spread the mayonnaise on the bread. Then I stuck the turkey on it and put the other slice on top. Kelly had some chips on a plate and some apple slices and she picked up the sandwich and stuck it on the plate. “You were supposed to put it on both sides,” said Kelly. “Jesus.” She took the slice off and put more mayonnaise on and took out another turkey slice and put it on and put the slice back on. “Now carry this upstairs to her room while I clean this mess up.” I took the plate and carried it up the stairs. I went into her room. There she was in her bed with a book and a phone and she had her school work with her. “Why the hell are you in my home?” she asked. “I’m babysitting duh,” I said. I stuck the plate right on top of her dropping it, “Here is your food.” “What is the matter with you?” she shouted. “You’re not being nice so I am not being nice,” I said. “Respect is earned,” she called. I left her room. Veronica rang the bell again. It was a loud bell. “Go see what she wants Natalie,” Kelly called from the kitchen. I went back in her room. “I don’t want you retard, I want your sister,” said Veronica. I ran up to her and picked up her food and threw it across the room and I started to grab at her but she pushed me away. “Ow,” she said grabbing herself. “Just leave me alone, I hurt too much. If I could get out of bed, I would give you a black eye.” “Ooo I am so scared,” I said. I got closer to her. Veronica reached for the bell and rang it again shouting for Kelly. “Get away from me before I choke you,” she yelled. “I’ll choke you back,” I said. Kelly came in the bedroom. “She’s harassing me, get her out of my house,” Veronica ordered. “Natalie,” Kelly yelled. “What did I tell you about the rules?” “She started it,” I said. “She threw her food at me, look,” Veronica looked down at her lap and pointed at the food I had tossed. “Go home Natalie, having you here was a big mistake,” said Kelly. “But she started it, she called me a retard,” I said. “Go home, I won’t bring you here again,” said Kelly. “She called me a retard,” I said louder. “I said I wanted your sister,” said Veronica “You called me a retard you liar,” I shouted. “Natalie go home now or you won’t babysit again,” Kelly yelled. I started to cry and left the room. Veronica lied and Kelly believed her. I went and got my backpack and Ellie asked why I was crying. “You have a mean sister,” I said. “She called me a retard.” “She calls us that all the time,” said James. “But you’re normal,” I said. “It’s just a stupid word,” said Ellie. “It doesn’t mean anything.” What? I didn’t know what she was talking about. How could Veronica also call them that and how could she think it means nothing? “I’ll trade your sister for mine,” said Ellie. “I don’t think you would want my mother or my father,” I said. “No, trade her, she comes lives with us and ours can come live with you,” said Ellie. I couldn’t imagine how things would be in our home if Veronica lived with us I left the family room and got my shoes on and went home. I felt angry at Kelly and mad at Veronica.
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